


An Innocent Journey to Love

by Zoeykaytesmom



Series: Barba & Rossetti [3]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Engagement, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hysterectomy, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Postpartum Depression, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Young Love, break-up, getting married, having kids, losing virginity, meeting in college, promise ring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 11:10:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 161
Words: 257,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17724080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoeykaytesmom/pseuds/Zoeykaytesmom
Summary: I thought to put Rafael and Izzy in a more "innocent" setting so to speak. I know I still have another WIP but when creativity strikes...there will be some similarities between the stories but not too much I'm hoping. I will finish the other eventually but I had this idea pop up so here we go lol.





	1. Chapter 1

“I can"t believe my babies graduated from high school.”

“Oh, Ma,” Anthony Rossetti Jr groaned as his mother Stella gushed. He and his twin sister, Elizabeth or Izzy as she was called, had just met their parents after graduating at the top  
of their Senior class from FDR High School in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn in May of 1993.

“And next you two are off to Harvard.”

“Thank god they both received scholarships,” their father, FDNY Lieutenant Anthony Sr chuckled as they walked to their parents SUV. “Izz you ok?”

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine, Pop,” she smiled.

“Your Uncle said you two can work at his bar over the summer to save money before you two go to college.”

“Okay,” they both answered. They were born October 27, 1974, 10 minutes apart but could not look any different. Tony resembled a young Al Pacino in ways but more handsome while in stark contrast, his sister was a blond who could be compared to Britney Spears, pre K-Fed, with brown eyes, and slightly darker hair. Even though Tony was the younger one, he always protected his sister. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Hey, sis.”

“What’s up, Tony?”

“Well, we leave next week. Are you scared?”

“A little,” she shrugged. “We’ve never really been away from home, with the exception of summer camps when we were younger.”

“Well, at least our dorm rooms aren’t far from each other.”

“True. Did you get anything about who your roommate is?”

“Uh, yeah. He’s from the Bronx actually. His last name is Barba, that’s all I know. You?”

“Yeah. Some girl named Lindsay from Chicago. I don’t know if that’s her first or last name.”

“So, what about Dawson?”

“We talked the other day but we’re not dumb to think we’re gonna make it while he goes to Loyola and I go to Harvard. It’s only been 6 months anyways.”

“Did you guys ever…”

“No. I’m going to college a virgin,” she told her twin as she rolled her eyes.

“Could be worse,” he chuckled.

“I guess. Oh well, I’m still not in any rush.”

“You don’t have to be, either. I kind of regret my first as it is.”

“Oh, Robin?”

“Yeah. I mean, if I had known that’s all she was after, I would’ve waited for Nikki.”

“You think you guys can do the long distance thing?”

“We’re gonna try. We’ll just have to see. Well, my shift is about to start. You know how our cousin gets when someone isn’t there to take his place right at 3.”

“Enzo is a pain in the ass.”

“Knock, knock.”

“Hey, Antonio.”

“What’s up, Tony?”

“Headed to work. I’ll leave you with your girlfriend.”

“Thanks. Hey, beautiful.”

“Hey, Tonio.”

“So, you said we could talk more today.”

“Yeah, come sit down,” she told him as she patted her bed. “You know I love you.”

“And I love you.”

“I just…I don’t think…”

“I agree. We’re gonna be miles apart and we both know that we’re gonna meet other people.”

“Exactly. I mean, how many long distance relationships survive with that much distance? I mean, I know people do make it work but we’re only 18 and…”

“I couldn’t agree more, Izz. So, what do you say we celebrate our mature break-up with a piece of pizza?” He joked.

“I’d like that. Come on," she laughed.


	2. Chapter 2

“Tony we’re gonna unload your sisters stuff first and then you and I can unload your stuff,” Anthony told his son once he pulled up to the building they would be living in.

“Got it, Pop.”

They popped the back of the SUV and started grabbing boxes. They made it up the stairs to the third floor to her room.

A young girl, about Izzy and Tony’s age was unpacking her things. “You must be my roommate,” she said with a smile.

“Yeah, uh, Izzy Rossetti.”

“Erin Lindsay. Nice to finally meet you.” 

“Yeah, you, too. This is my brother Tony and our parents, Stella and Anthony.”

They all greeted Erin warmly after sitting Izzy’s stuff down.

“Okay, well Tony let’s go get your things now. You’re one floor up?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Thank god I’m a firefighter and have to stay somewhat in shape. Let’s go, son.”

“Izzy you have everything?”

“Yeah, Ma.”

“Remember what your dad said about the credit card?”

“Yes, I do,” she laughed. “I won’t abuse it.”

“Okay. I’m gonna go help your dad and brother. We’ll swing back by before we leave.”

“Okay.”

“So, your brother is going here, too?”

“Yeah, we’re twins.”

“Oh okay. I hope you don’t mind that I took the bed on this side.”

“Not at all. I like being closer to the door. Uh, I brought somethings we can use to make a privacy curtain. A friend of mine from high school goes to Princeton and she told me she and her roommate did that.”

“Ooh, 70s beads.”

“I thought they were cute,” Izzy shrugged. “They glow in the dark, too.”

“I like them,” Erin agreed.

They continued unpacking and talking. Anthony and Stella stopped back by to let their daughter know they were leaving. “Wait till you see your brother’s roommate. Very cute,” Stella whispered before she left.

“Ma,” Izzy groaned with a laugh as she shook her head.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Wow. So, you basically lived on the streets in a way?”

“Yeah until Hank and his wife Camille took me in. They saved my life.”

“I can’t imagine, Erin. Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“I have a little brother, Teddy. He’s been in and out of the foster system for years. Hank tried to help him, too, but he ran away.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, there you are,” Izzy heard her brother say as he walked up to the table in the dining hall she and Erin were sitting at.

“Hey, Tony.”

“Izzy this is my roommate, Rafael Barba. Rafael, this is my sister.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Rafael,” she said as she shook his hand.

“You…you, too, Izzy. Your brother was just telling me all about you,” he replied with a smile.

“All bullshit, I assure you. This is my roommate, Erin Lindsay.”

“Nice to meet you, Erin.”

“Yeah, you too, Rafael.”

Stella didn’t lie. Rafael was very cute. Lightly tanned skin, green eyes, dark brown hair. Like Tony and many guys their age, he wore a small stud in his left ear.

“What are you guys up to?”

“Just checking everything out,” Tony told her. “Getting to know the place. Rafael and I are going to be working in the bookstore together, actually.”

“That's funny, Erin and I have jobs in the library.”

“Well, I know where I’ll be studying,” Rafael told her, shyly.

“I hope I see you there,” Izzy replied.

“Okay, well, we’ll leave you two alone. Don’t get lost around here.”

“I’ll try, bro. Bye, Rafael.”

“See you ladies.”

“What was that?”

“What, Erin?”

“You two were flirting and for the record you’re both terrible at it.”

“We were not. Are you gonna finish your fries?”

“Take ‘em and yes you were.”

“Whatever,” Izzy giggled as she shoved the fries in her mouth.  
______________________________________________________________________________

A few weeks had went by as school started. They were all busy with their classes. The four of them would get together and study for the classes they did have in common, even if they had them on different days. Izzy had spent most of her middle and high school years as an athlete and she enjoyed working out when she could, but with her class and job schedule, it was very hard to squeeze in. Most of the time, it was after dark when she could make it. Thankfully, the athletic center wasn’t far from her dorm. Erin would go sometimes with her.

It seems no one can help me now/I’m in too deep, there’s no way out/This time I have really led myself astray/Runaway train never going back/Wrong way on a one-way track  
Seems like I should be getting somewhere/Somehow I’m neither here nor there

She was startled when she saw Rafael standing behind her. “Sorry, I didn’t know anyone else was here,” she said as she stopped the tape and took her headphones off.

“Don’t stop on my account. You sounded great.”

“Thanks,” she blushed. “Choir, glee club, you know. I didn’t know you worked out.”

“I run sometimes on the treadmill. Lift weights every so often. I’m not very athletic to be honest.”

“Oh.”

“So, how did you do on your test the other day?”

“Really well, thanks. You?”

“We just took ours today.”

“Oh, that’s right. Days seem to be getting away from me.”

“Uh…we’ve been studying so much, I don’t feel I know much about you.”

“Well…what do you want to know?”

“Your brother said you’re single.”

“I am, yeah. I was dating a guy but he moved to Chicago for college and it didn’t make any sense for us to stay together. You?”

“Uh, no. I actually have a girlfriend back in New York.”

“Have you been together long?”

“Since May 1991.”

“Cool. Well, New York isn’t as far away as Chicago.”

“True. I just finished up. Do you want to walk back with me?”

“Sure. Let me grab my bag.”

They started walking to their dorm, the sidewalk was lit up by lights.

“So, you think you’ll marry your girlfriend?”

“Eh, who knows,” he shrugged. “I try not to think that too far ahead. I’ve gotta get out of college and then hopefully I’ll be able to go to law school here, too.”

“That’s what my brother wants to do.”

“What about you?”

“Not sure. I like Psychology a lot but I like Political Science, too. I think my mom wants us both go to law school.”

“But you’re not so sure?”

“Not really. Who knows though. We’re only Freshman.”

“True. Still have a long ways to go. Well, this is your floor,” he laughed after they got up the third flight of stairs.

“So, it is. Well, thanks for walking me home, Rafael.”

“Anytime, Elizabeth.”

“You get one of those a year,” she teased. “Well, I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

“We live in the same building.”

“And you share a room with my brother. I actually feel bad for you.”

“He is kind of disgusting,” he chuckled.

“I lived with him for 18 years. I know all too well. Well, good-night.”

“Bye, Izzy.”


	3. Chapter 3

“How’s school going?” Stella asked her kids as they sat around in the living room of their house in Brooklyn the day before Thanksgiving.

“Not too bad,” they both told her in their own way.

“Don’t sound so excited, Izzy.”

“It’s fine, Ma. Just a lot of work. We stay pretty busy between work and classes. At least I do.”

“I do, too, smartass.”

“I’m just messing with you, Tony. Is Nikki coming over tomorrow?”

“Yeah. She’ll be here around 1 after she goes to her grandparents.”

“Speaking of, you two need to go by and see your grandparents while you’re home.”

“Are they not coming tomorrow?”

“Your aunt and uncle are coming in from Rochester.”

“I don’t want to see your sister, Ma.”

“Your Aunt Donna loves you Izzy.”

“No, she loves to make me feel I’m doing something wrong because unlike her daughters, finding a husband is the last thing on my mind.”

“Yeah, Ma. It’s like getting an education is so horrible. I mean, she’s happy being a housewife but you getting your degree and becoming a teacher was just so terrible.”

“She’s not that bad.”

“Mia was engaged at 18 and now she’s 23 with 3 kids. Julianna is 19, pregnant, and married, and Daria is 17 with a ring on her finger. I don’t fall into that so your sister makes it seem like I’m falling behind somewhere.”

“Just ignore her.”

“Why don’t we just go over there, sis? Get it out of the way before they get here.”

“That sounds like a good idea, Tony.”

“Okay, we’ll be back, Ma. Don’t let Aunt Donna get to you.”

“It just pisses me off. Every time I see her and I tell her I’m single, she gives me that ‘pity head tilt’. I’m 19 for Christ’s sake. I want to get out of college before I even begin to think  
of something like that. Marriage and kids isn’t where the line stops for me at this point. Who’s to say it ever will be?”  
_______________________________________________________________________  
After a visit with their grandparents, who spoke very little English, they decided to stop by their Uncle Vinnie’s sports bar where they had worked at the previous summer.

“There’s my favorite niece and nephew,” he laughed when they walked in.

“Hey, Uncle Vinnie.”

“Your dad said you two got in yesterday. How’s Harvard?”

“Really good,” Izzy smiled after they hugged.

“So, what brings you two by?”

“Went and visited Ma’s parents. Thought we’d stop by here. Maybe see if our favorite uncle would let us have a beer?”

“Junior.”

“Come on, Uncle Vinnie. Who’s gonna tell?”

He looked at his niece and nephew for a minute. “Fine,” he relented. “Back corner booth. I’ll bring them to you. If you tell my brother…”

“Not a word,” they promised.

“Like he could say no to us,” Tony laughed as they sat down. “So, I take it you and Erin get along pretty well?”

“Yeah, we do. She’s…had a hard road but yet, she’s made it to Harvard.”

“That’s good. Some people don’t.”

“You and Rafael get along?”

“Yeah. He’s pretty cool. He seems to really like you.”

“What?”

“As a friend, I mean. He thinks you’re funny.”

“I do aim to entertain. What’s the deal with his girlfriend?”

“Yelina? I’ve talked to her on the phone a few times. She seems nice enough. She’s pretty. I’ve seen her picture.”

“Cool.”

“The only thing is…I shouldn’t tell you.”

“Okay, Indiana, don’t do that. Don’t tell me you shouldn’t tell me something.”

“Don’t tell him I told you, okay?”

“I’m not gonna say anything.”

“You know him and Yelina have been together like over 2 years but they’ve never…”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. He told me that he’s not waiting for marriage or anything but it’s just never felt like the right time.”

“Wow.”

“See? You’re not the only virgin at Harvard.”

“Gee, thanks,” she told her brother as she rolled her eyes.

“I’m just saying. Don’t feel like you’re behind when he’s been with the same girl for a while and he’s still not ready.”

“Thanks.”

“What about that guy you were dating?”

“The guy studying religion? No thanks. He was kind of arrogant and of course when I told him I was a virgin, that was plenty for him.”

“Oh, well. Antonio never pressured you. Maybe you should call him while we’re home.”

“Why?”

“Just to hang out. You guys always had fun.”

“Yeah, maybe.”  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
“Not working tonight?” Rafael asked as he found Izzy at a table alone in the library.

“Not tonight. It’s Chris’s shift.”

“Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all,” she smiled. “What are you studying tonight?”

“Econ.”

“Sounds exciting,” she teased.

“What about you?”

“One of the many Psychology classes I’ll take while I’m here.”

“Fun stuff.”

“Hey, Tony told me what happened at Thanksgiving.”

“Oh,” he asked quietly.

“I’m sorry, Rafael.”

“I couldn’t give her what she wanted so she found it somewhere else. I shouldn’t say ‘couldn’t’ I guess. I just…I’m not ready. There’s so much that comes with that and it’s not that I’m worried about the responsibility or anything. I know how to be safe…it’s just…I don’t know how to explain it.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Rafael. I get it.”

“You do?” He asked with a quizzical look on his face.

“Yeah,” she replied with a small smile.

“I’d think someone as pretty as you could have any guy you wanted.”

“Maybe,” she laughed, “but I’m like you, when it doesn’t feel right, it just doesn’t. Until it does, I’m not ready to take that next step.”

“Exactly.”

“I am sorry she cheated on you, though.”

“Thanks. I’ll be okay.”

They sat at their table and continued studying.

“What the hell?” She laughed after he threw a wadded up piece of paper at her.

“I’ve done all the studying I can do. You want to go grab something to eat?”

“Uh, sure, Rafael. You buying?”

“Please, I’m poor,” he snorted.

“Then I guess you won’t be eating.”

“Come on. Your brother and I found this place not far from here. Cheap but really good burgers.”

“You found my weakness.”

“Even the Death Star had a weakness,” he told her with a smirk.

They went to the place he suggested and actually started to get to know each other.

“So, you played basketball and ran track.”

“Yep. Wasn’t the cheerleader type.”

“I see. No clue what you want to be when you grow up, huh?”

“Not at the moment. Maybe by next year I’ll have an idea.”

“Fair enough,” he snickered before taking a drink of his soda. “From what Tony told me, you guys had a pretty typical childhood.”

“Yeah, I suppose so. Mom’s a school teacher, Dad’s a fire fighter. Born and raised, Catholic by the way, in Bensonhurst.”

“I knew you were raised Catholic.”

“Tony tell you that?”

“Yeah but I noticed the crucifix around your neck the first time we met.”

“Oh,” she laughed. “What about you? Any brothers or sisters?”

“Nope. Just me. My mom’s a school teacher, too. My dad…he works as a mechanic mainly. At least when he’s not drunk.”

“I’m guessing you two aren’t close?”

“Only when he’s in my face about something.”

“I’m so…”

“Don’t apologize,” he told her as he sort of waved his hand. “The only reason my mother married him was because she got pregnant with me. Why she stays, I have no idea.”

“Is that why you came to Harvard?”

“That why I worked my ass off to get my scholarship here, yes. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“No. I just…I hope…”

“Let’s talk about something else. What’s your favorite movie?”

“Um, The Godfather, The Godfather II, Lethal Weapon 1 & 2, Star Wars, Jedi is probably my favorite of the 3, Ghostbusters, Batman, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Good Morning, Vietnam, Full Metal Jacket, The Blues Brothers, aaannnddddd Krush Groove.”

“Krush Groove? Seriously?”

“It’s a classic. Time will tell, Barba.”

“If you say so. I’m impressed that you like Star Wars, though,” he said with a small smile.

“Why? Who can honestly say they don’t like those movies?”

“No one I want to be friends with.”

“What about you?”

“Uh, well Star Wars are probably my favorites, Rain Man, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, The Shining, Stand By Me, and uh, Purple Rain.”

“You like Prince?”

“Who doesn’t? So, how was your burger?”

“It was really good. You didn’t have to pay.”

“I have a job and I know how to save money.”

“Well, I got it next time.”

“Sure, Izzy. Come on, your roommate’s probably worried about you.”  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“What time does your flight leave, Erin?”

“2:00. Then it’s home to Chicago. Hank said Teddy made contact and he might show up for Christmas.”

“That would be good.”

“Yeah. I’d really like to see him. What time do you guys gotta be at the train station?”

“4:00. 5 ½ hours on a train with my brother and Barba.”

“It won’t be that bad.”

“I’ve got plenty of batteries for my Walkman and plenty of tapes in my backpack and a book.”

“Okay, well my cab’s here.”

“Okay. Have a safe flight. I’ll see you after Christmas,” Izzy told Erin as they hugged.

“Let me know when you get to Brooklyn.”

“You got it. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Izz.”

She finished packing her suitcase after Erin left. 

“Hey, geek, you ready?”

“Yeah, I am, nerd,” she retorted to her brother. “Where’s Barba?”

“He was on the phone. His friend Eddie is supposed to pick him tonight I think. I couldn’t understand most of it. My high school Spanish still sucks.”

“How? We took 3 years.”

“We didn’t exactly learn slang.”

“Thanks for leaving me, Rossetti,” Rafael scoffed when he met the twins in Izzy’s dorm.

“You were on the phone. You knew where I was coming to, Barba.”

“You two ready? Our cab will be here in like 5 minutes.”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Rafael sat in his seat on the train, reading a very worn copy of Kurt Vonnegut’s “Slaughterhouse Five”, while Izzy sat in hers listening to Duran Duran’s “Liberty” album blare through her headphones while reading Bret Easton Ellis’ “American Psycho”. Tony on the other hand, slept against his window, while a line of drool dangled from his lip.  
“God he’s disgusting,” Izzy thought to herself but then she figured she probably wasn’t a pretty sight herself when she slept. She was taken out of her own thoughts by Rafael as he nudged her shoulder.

“I can hear every song,” he laughed.

“Sorry. Duran Duran was my favorite band when I was younger. How’s your book?”

“Seems to get better every time I read it.”

“Looks like you’ve read it a few times.”

“Something like that. What about your book? Did he write 'Less Than Zero'?”

“Yes, he did. Good eye, Barba.”

“So, what’s this one about?”

“This investment banker named Patrick Bateman. He’s a serial killer. It’s really creepy.”

“You think I could borrow it when you’re done?”

“Sure,” she told him with a smile. “Actually, I’ll give it to you when we get off the train. I’ve read it a few times.”

“Thanks, cariño.”

“Huh?”

“It’s nothing bad,” he laughed. “God, your brother drools everywhere he sleeps.”

“Ride with him from Brooklyn to Disney World. I had to take a bath as soon as we got to the resort cause of the bath I took in the car.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Kids!!! Get up!!!”

“Ugh, how old are we,” Tony groaned as he and his sister came out of their bedrooms on Christmas morning.

“Zip it, Junior. Ma loves Christmas.”

“You two need to come on if you want your presents.”

“We’re coming, Pop,” Izzy called from the middle of the stairs.

“You think you might see Antonio while we’re home?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“You like someone else, don’t you?”

“What?”

“You like Barba.”

“I do not. We’re just friends.”

“Sure.”

“Tony knock it off before I push you down the stairs.”

“Bout time you two got in here,” Stella playfully scolded. 

“Why are the shades closed, Ma?”

“Well, if you two would’ve got here faster, you’d already know why.”

“What do you mean?” Tony asked his mother.

Anthony held up two sets of car keys in his hands.

“No way!!” The twins both shouted.

“Okay before we let you see them, we have rules. No drinking and driving, no speeding, no fighting over who got what color either. I’m serious about the drinking and driving, too.   
These cars can be replaced but neither of you can. Capisce?”

“Got it, Dad,” they replied in unison.

“Okay, Izz you got the black one, Junior you got the silver one,” he said as he tossed the keys to them. They didn’t care about coats or scarves as they ran out to find two brand new Honda Civic EX’s in their driveway.

“Sis you got a CD player?!” Tony yelled from his car.

“Hell yeah! You got leather seats?!”

“Yep!!!”

“Okay, you two get back inside before you catch a cold.”

“Coming, Ma.”

“Thank you, so much,” Izzy said as she almost tackled her parents with a hug when they got back in the house.

“You’re very welcome, princess,” Anthony chuckled as he pried his daughter off of him. “We thought you guys could use cars of your own instead of having to take the train all the time. Gas is a lot cheaper than a train ticket.”

“Very true. Okay what else did we get?”

“Seriously, Tony?” Izzy laughed.

“You know you have more presents. Go on. They’re under the tree,” their mother told them.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Okay, Tony you’re going to the Bronx and picking up Rafael?”

“Yeah, Pop.”

“And Izz you’re leaving here and heading to Logan to pick up Erin?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I want you two to be very careful and I expect phone calls when you get back to your dorms,” Anthony told his kids as they loaded their cars to head back to school after Christmas.

“We will,” they said in unison.

“I swear, the two of you could haunt the hallways of a hotel,” Anthony laughed referring to the way his kids could always answer at the same time as that. “Creepy.”

“Be careful,” Stella told them as she hugged them each tightly.

“Of course, Ma.”

“Okay, we love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Izzy got in her car and loaded Metallica’s Black album in her CD player as she waved to her parents before backing onto the street to leave.

It was a long drive but Izzy kept herself entertained with music on her trip. Erin didn’t know she got a car, just that her roommate was picking her up at the airport. 

Izzy pulled up at Logan International and stood outside her car, waiting for Erin to come out. She saw her roommate looking around when she finally spotted her. 

“Why are you leaning on someone’s car?” Erin laughed.

“It’s not ‘someone’s car’. It’s mine.”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Tony and I got cars for Christmas. His is silver.”

“Hell yeah! Now we don’t have to walk everywhere,” she said as she put her stuff in the trunk. “Where to first?”

“I’ve gotta get to the dorm so I can call my parents.”

“Yeah, I need to call Hank.”

“We’ll figure something out after that though.”

“Sounds like a plan. Oh, Izz, come on. New Kids on the Block?”

“I got bored. Put something else in. I don’t care.”

Erin ended up leaving Hangin’ Tough in the cassette player and they jammed the whole way back to Cambridge.

“Sis come on,” Tony laughed as he and Rafael had seemed to pull in right before they did.

“Jesus how many times did you two stop?”

“Your brother obviously has a bladder the size of a pea,” Rafael scoffed as he rolled his eyes.

“I could’ve told you that,” Izzy told him.

“I can’t believe you two were listening to the New Children on the Block.”

“Very funny, Rafa...a…achoo!!”

“Is that my new nickname?”

“Shut up,” Izzy laughed at her friend.

“You need some help?”

“You don’t have more stuff?”

“Not really. I mainly got money and clothes for Christmas. Everything could fit in my suitcase.”

“Thanks, Rafa.”

He just kind of looked at Izzy. It wasn’t a glare, it wasn’t a smirk but somewhere in between as he grabbed one of her bags.

“That book you lent me was great by the way.”

“Glad you liked it. That’s one that I don’t know how it could ever be made into a movie. It’s so graphic.”

“It really was. The chainsaw and the hooker. Jesus!”

“Right?! Patrick Bateman is creepy as fuck.”

“Creepier than Jack Torrance if you ask me.”

Erin and Tony just kind of exchanged looks while listening to their respective roommates talk about “American Psycho” and “The Shining”.

“Okay, girls. Here you go,” Tony said once they got to the third floor of their building. “Izz don’t stay on the phone too long with Ma and Pop so I can call them.”

“Erin has to call Hank and Camille so I won’t be, Indiana.”

“Why does she call you ‘Indiana’?” Erin asked after hearing that so many times since the start of school.

“Henry Jones Junior. Indiana Jones,” Erin looked at Tony like he had lost his mind. “In the last Indiana Jones movie, his dad is there and Indiana doesn’t like to be called ‘Junior’, which I don’t either. So, after we saw that movie 10 times in the theater during the summer of ’89, my sister started calling me ‘Indiana’ instead of ‘Junior’.”

“Oh, okay, I get it.”

“And my sister is the blond one here.”

“Leave her alone, Indiana.”

“Whatever, Izz. We’re going to our room.”

“See you guys,” Izzy said as she waved to her brother and Rafael.

“Bye, Izz,” Rafael laughed as they walked to the stairs to go to their floor.

She called her parents to let them know she had made it to Boston to get Erin and they had made it to the dorm and then handed the phone to Erin so she could call her foster parents, Hank and Camille Voight.

“Why are you called Izzy?”

“You’re just now asking me that, Erin?”

“I didn’t think about it until we got into the discussion of why you call Tony ‘Indiana’.”

“Actually, my parents started calling me ‘Lizzy’ but Tony had a sort of problem with his ‘L’s’ and it never came out that way. It came out ‘Izzy’ instead and it just sort of stuck.”

“Oh, okay,” Erin chuckled. “So, what’s up with you and Barba?”

“Um, nothing?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. We’re just friends. Why do you ask?”

“You two seem like…I don’t know. It seems like he likes you.”

“Nah. He just broke up with his girlfriend of 2 ½ years in November. He’s nowhere near thinking about dating.”

“You like him though.”

“Do I think he’s cute? Definitely. He’s funny, smart, sweet.”

“Listen to you. You are smitten.”

“No, I’m not. I was just listing his qualities.”

“Okay,” Erin replied, not believing a word her roommate said.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
“Ughhhh, does Professor Creepy Mc Creeperson really have to stand over me like that?” Izzy asked as she, Tony, Rafael, and Erin left their Political Science class.

“He’s disgusting,” Erin agreed.

“He’s trying to peak down your shirt, sis.”

“Oh, I know, Tony. Why do you think I come to class in my pajamas?”

“That’s not deterring him obviously,” Rafael joked as he adjusted the backpack on his shoulder.

“He’s so gross and he smells like tobacco.”

“I’ve seen you smoke, Izz.”

“When I was drinking, Erin, and I’m not talking about cigarettes. It’s like cheap pipe tobacco. It’s just gross.”

“It doesn’t help that you’re stacked,” Erin laughed.

“Shut up,” Izzy said as she felt her face getting hot.

“Come on, you two, we have our American History class next,” Tony told them.

“At least Professor Hummel is gay.”

“What?” The guys both asked.

“Tell me you didn’t know,” Izzy chuckled.

“I knew he wasn’t a perv like some of these other male professors,” Rafael added.


	5. Chapter 5

“Hey, Tony?”

“What’s up, Rafi?”

“Do you think…no never mind.”

“What?”

“Does your sister have plans for Valentine’s Day?”

“I don’t think so. Are you wanting…you like her.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“It has been for a while,” Tony laughed. “You want to ask her out?”

“If that’s okay with you.”

“It’s fine with me. You’re over Yelina right?”

“Yeah. I swear.”

“You’re sure?”

“Tony come on. How could I sit here and pine for someone that cheated on me with my oldest friend? I really can’t stand either of them.”

“Okay just as long as you’re asking my sister out with the right intentions.”

“I just want to take her out to dinner, maybe a movie.”

“Fine by me.”

“Thanks.”

“Where are you going?”

“What did I just say?”

“Isn’t she at work in the library?”

“I think so. I’ll be back,” Rafael said as he grabbed his coat, scarf, and toboggan before heading out.  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Izzy was sitting behind the desk at the library, reading “Slaughterhouse Five” herself.

“Good book, huh?”

“Hey, Rafa,” she said with a smile when she saw him standing on the other side of the desk. “What brings you here?”

“I…uh…um…do you…would you…” he couldn't even look in the eyes.

“Yes,” she told him as she bent down to look at his face.

He seemed to breathe a sigh of relief knowing that she knew what he was asking. “I know Valentine’s Day is Monday so is Saturday okay?”

“It’s perfect, Raf.”

“Okay. Pick you up at 7?”

“Sure,” she told him with a huge smile.

“Okay. I’ll see you then.”

“I can’t wait.”

He walked off with a huge smile on his face and she turned around with an even bigger one. “Erin!”

“Shhhh!!” Some of the students that were studying let out. 

“Erin,” she whispered.

“What?”

“Rafael just asked me out for Valentine’s Day.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“We have to start picking outfits as soon as we get off.”

“I don’t know where he’s taking me.”

“We’re broke college students. I don’t think he plans on anything too expensive, but something nice, I’m sure. I’ll talk to your brother.”

“Thanks,” she replied giddily.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
With Rafael’s limited income, Erin was able to find out that he was taking her to a Japanese place not too far from school. She picked out a pair of black dress pants, a black argyle sweater with her black Manolo Mary Jane’s her mother had bought her for Christmas.

“Why is my face so red?”

“You’re nervous,” Erin told her. “I didn’t see you like this when you went out with Jackson.”

“He was a prick. This is Rafael. It’s so different.”

“Okay. Breathe.”

“You’re right. You’re right. It’s just tonight will decide which way we go.”

“Are you planning on losing your virginity finally?”

“Not even. It’s just, if this goes bad, our friendship is gone.”

“Don’t force anything. Just relax.”

“Okay. How’s my face?”

“Better.”

“What are you doing tonight?”

“I’m gonna watch a few movies with your brother actually.”

“What?”

“I know he has a girlfriend. It’s not like that. We’re just going to hang out since we don’t have anyone here.”

“Okay.”

“And we’re gonna plan yours and Barba’s wedding of course.”

“Knock it off.”

Erin helped Izzy finish getting ready and they heard a knock on the door.

“That’s him,” Erin sort of cheered.

“I can do this. Okay. Hey, Rafa,” Izzy smiled as she opened the door to find her brother’s roommate on the other side with a dozen roses in his hand. “Are those for me?”

“Yeah,” he smiled shyly as he handed them to her.

“They’re beautiful. Erin can you put these in some water for me?”

“Sure.”

“Are you ready, cariño?”

“Yes, I am, Rafael,” she said as she grabbed her coat and purse. “I’ll be back later, Erin.”

“You two have fun. Don’t do nothing I…” Izzy shut the door before Erin could finish.

“You want to drive?” Izzy asked Rafael as she took out her keys.

“Are you sure?”

“Why not?”

“Okay.” They walked out of the building and to her car. He unlocked the door with the keyless entry but still opened the passenger side door for her.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
After dinner at the hibachi restaurant, they went and watched “My Girl 2”. Rafael couldn’t help but put his arm around his date, especially when she cried when Vada thought she lost her mood ring in the tar pits.

As they walked out of theater, Rafael finally decided to stop being so nervous and take Izzy’s hand while they walked to her car. She didn’t mind at all as their fingers intertwined.   
He held her hand the entire drive back to their dorm.

“I had a great time, Rafa,” she told him as they walked into their building, still hand in hand.

“So did I.”

They walked up the stairs to her dorm room. “Can we do this again?” He asked.

“I’d like that,” she told him.

They were both lost in each other’s eyes as he moved into kiss her. It started light, very little tongue but escalated quickly on both ends. He held her against the wall by her door as   
he continued massaging her tongue with his.

He finally pulled away from her, leaving them both needing to catch their breath.

“So, uh…you want to go get breakfast tomorrow?”

“Sure, Rafa.”

“Okay. Just call my room when you get up.”

“I will.”

“Good night, hermosa.”


	6. Chapter 6

“So, it’s been three dates now.”

“And, Erin?”

“All you guys have done is kiss?”

“I’m a virgin and so is he.”

“So?”

“So, I’m not ready for that.”

“Okay. Let me ask you a question.”

“Okay?”

“What do you do…like in your area?”

“What do you mean, Erin?”

“I mean…grooming.”

“I shave.”

“How much?”

“Most of it. I leave a little…”

“Have you ever heard of a Brazilian wax?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, maybe…you should do that.”

“I don’t know. I mean I’ve only let one other guy go down there with his mouth.”

“Wow.”

“What, Erin?”

“Nothing. It’s just with your mouth and everything else, I can’t believe you haven’t ever…”

“I’ve given head, Erin. I’ve never swallowed, though.”

“You better get ready.”

“Erin!”

“I’m just saying.”  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“When do you think you’ll actually do it?”

“I don’t know, Erin.”

“Come on. You can’t leave college being a virgin.”

“Who said I was going to? It's been two months and we still have another month of school left.”

“And all I catch you two doing is making out.”

“So? I like that and so does he. What? Are you some kind of pervert that likes to watch?”

“Ha, ha. No, he doesn’t,” Erin told her. “He might act like he does but he’s wanting to go further.”

“Erin…he was with Yelina…”

“You are not Yelina.”

“Can you just leave me alone about this?”

“Okay fine, but just letting you know…”

“Rafael and I both want to wait until the time is right.”

“Alright. Just don’t string him along.”

“Seriously?”

“Your brother is already talking to him.”

“Jesus Christ, Erin!”

“We just want you guys to be careful.”

“I get it. My brother is at work so I’m going upstairs.”

“Have fun.”

Izzy knew her brother had a long shift at the bookstore so she couldn’t wait to go make out with Rafael. They had been together almost 3 months so she was wearing sweats and a Harvard hoodie when she went to their dorm. “There’s my beautiful woman,” Rafael smiled after Izzy knocked on the door.

“My brother is still at work for another 2 hours at least.”

“I know,” Rafael replied with a smirk as he kissed his girlfriend. He backed her over to his bed. Sure, they were both virgins, but they both still had a little experience. Soon his hand was down her sweats, pushing two fingers into her.

“God, Rafa…” she moaned. 

“Are you okay?” He whispered in her ear.

“I’m fine,” she moaned as his fingers moved in and out of her. He started lifting her shirt as she kissed her taut belly and started pulling her sweats down.

“Rafa…”

“What?” He asked as he looked up from her pierced bellybutton.

“Are you sure you want to keep going?”

“Do you trust me?” He asked as he looked up at her with those green eyes.

“Yes, Rafa.”

“Okay. Just relax, bebita.”

He pulled the sweats and panties off of her and started his way down. She had only let Antonio do that a few times but when Rafael’s tongue made contact with her clit she couldn’t help but thrust her hips up, causing her pussy to hit him a little harder in the face than he expected.

“Jesus Christ…god…Rafael….” She moaned as she felt a weird sensation go though her body. “Oh, god. God. Oh Rafaaaeeelllll,” she kept moaning. “Oh…oh…damn,” Izzy let out as her body stopped shaking. She noticed Rafael was wiping a spot near his eye.

“I’m sorry, Rafa,” she said…embarrassed.

“It’s fine, cariño,” he smiled. 

“Wow. I’ve never…I haven’t had…”

“It’s fine, baby. I promise,” Rafael told her.

“I guess it’s your turn.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t know what I mean?”

“I guess not,” he smirked.

She started undoing his belt as she pushed his upper body back on his bed. She was amazed at the size of his cock once she had his jeans and boxers down. “Damn,” she whispered. They had spent months making out and hand stuff, but she was still amazed at his size. He was fat and long, which sort of scared of her; but she took him in her mouth. She had no idea she didn’t have a gag reflex as she started bobbing up and down on her boyfriend’s dick.

“Oh…god…Izz,” he moaned as he held her by her blond hair. “F…f…fuck. Just like that, baby.” Rafael kept moaning. “I’m…I’m right…there…I’m gonna…ahhhhh!” He shot his load down her throat after at least 20 minutes. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I didn’t mind,” Izzy told him as she looked up at him. Instead of pulling up his jeans, he got into a pair of plaid pj bottoms and tossed Izzy one if his crimson Harvard t-shirts.

“What about Tony?”

“He knows we’re dating.”

“Rafa…”

“I love when you call me that,” he said with a huge smile. “Your sweats are right beside the bed, mi amor.”

“Thank you, baby.”

After pleasuring each other orally, the two of them squeezed into this twin bed and fell asleep.

“I love you,” Rafael whispered.

“I love you, too,” she responded sleepily.

That was the first time they had said that to each other but they both knew they meant it.

Tony sort of laughed to himself when he came in after the bookstore closed to find his sister and roommate cuddled up asleep. He just sort of laughed as he got ready for bed himself.


	7. Chapter 7

“Freshman year is finally over,” Tony laughed as they loaded up their cars. “Your dad or whatever is letting you stay the summer with us, Erin?”

“Hank? Yeah. Him and his wife are gonna fly out sometime to visit and meet your parents.”

“Okay. So, you’re gonna ride back with me, right?”

“If that’s okay, Tony.”

“Not a problem. I know those two are going to the Bronx,” he said motioning at his roommate and sister who were laughing about something by her car.

“They make me sick,” Erin joked.

“Oh, come on, Erin. They’re in love.”

“I know. Can’t believe they’re still virgins.”

“$20 they won’t be by the time we come back to school.”

“I’ll take that bet. I think your sister is too scared.”

“She just never met the right guy.”

“Maybe. Hey, you two can make-out all summer! It’s time to hit the road,” Erin hollered over at the young couple.

“We’ll be right behind you,” Rafael told her as he got into the driver’s seat of Izzy’s car. “Are you nervous?”

“N..n…n…no,” she stuttered after putting her seatbelt across her.

“I’ve met your parents. You’re just meeting my mom. My dad’s in Miami visiting his brother. She’s gonna love you.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I love you. That’s all she needs.”

“If you say so.”

“You’re gonna learn one of these days that I’m always right.”

She just laughed as she shook her head at her boyfriend.

They spent the next four hours listening to music, stopping for food, occasionally, and of course to make out for a few minutes. They finally arrived at his parents apartment in the Longwood neighborhood of the Bronx. Izzy nervously got out of the passenger side of her car.

“You’re shaking,” Rafael noticed when he took her hand.

“I’m fine.”

He took her hand and placed a kiss to her knuckles. “Nothing to worry about. I promise you.”

“Okay.”

“Come on.”

She seemed to grip his hand tighter with each step closer to the building. “Ugh, the fucking elevator is out again. We’ve got a little bit of a walk,” he told his girlfriend as they started up the stairs. “That elevator maybe works two weeks a month.”

“I’ll live,” she told him. They walked up 8 flights of stairs before they got to the apartment he grew up in. He unlocked the several locks on the door before leading her in.

“Mami?”

“Raf? There’s my baby,” a taller woman with dark hair that went just passed her shoulders squealed as she hugged her son. “Look at you.”

“Mami you just saw me at Spring Break.”

“I’m not used to you being so far away. And this must be the girl I’ve heard so much about.”

“Elizabeth Rossetti this my mother, Lucia Barba.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Barba.”

“Please, call me Lucia. I see why my son is so taken with you.”

“Really?”

“Brown eyes make him stupid,” she teased. “You are so much prettier than he described. Well, come sit you two.”

They sat and Izzy laughed while Lucia of course broke out pictures of a baby Rafael.

“Aww, you were so cute.”

“Mami do you really have to do this?”

“Of course, I do,” she laughed. “If you two have kids someday, she needs to see what your kids might look like.”

“No llevamos mucho tiempo juntos, mami. Es un poco pronto para hablar de niños (We haven't been together very long, Mom. It's a little soon to be talking about kids).”

“Puedo soñar, ¿no (I can dream, can’t I)?”

“I suppose.”

Rafael walked Izzy back to her car after a couple of hours of his mother embarrassing him.

“So, we have all summer long to spend time together.”

“Erin and I will be working for my uncle a few days a week but you’re more than welcome to come sit. I can hook you up with all the free buffalo wings and fried cheese sticks you  
can stand.”

“I might do that,” he laughed.

“But when I’m not at work, I’m all yours.”

“Can’t wait.”

“Well, I better get to Brooklyn. Call me later and we can do something tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a plan, cariño. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Stella was at a summer workshop while Anthony was on his 24 hour shift starting that morning at 6. Erin was at work, Tony was out with Nikki, leaving Izzy and Rafael in the house alone. They were making out pretty heavy in her room.

“I need to tell you something,” Rafael panted after breaking away from his girlfriend of almost 6 months.

“What?” She asked, not sure if she wanted to hear it.

“I’m…I’m ready. I want to take the next step with you.”

“Oh. Are you…are you sure?”

“I am. I’ve never been ready before but I am with you.”

“Oh, okay.”

“No pressure on you at all. It all depends on you. When you’re ready. I just wanted you to know that when you are, I will be, too,” he said as he bit his bottom lip.

“Okay,” she replied with a small smile. Truth was, she had been thinking about it but didn’t want him to feel rushed either. “Do you have…anything?”

“No,” he blushed. “I can get some, though.”

“Okay. Well, I guess, you know if you have it then whenever it does happen, we’re prepared.”

“Okay. Now back to what I was doing,” he started kissing her neck making her giggle.

 

“You were alone with my sister all day in our house and nothing happened?”

“Something happened just not that.”

“Jeez, what are you, waiting for marriage?”

“What do you care? We aren’t in a rush and I’m not gonna rush your sister, either. I mean, I want my first time to mean something like I know she does.”

“Okay, I’ll stop busting your balls about it. I can respect you respecting my sister.”

“Thank you. You’re my best friend, Tony, but I’m not going to talk about my sex life with you considering it involves your sister.”

“Fair enough.”

“So, everything okay with you and Nikki?”

“She thinks we should see other people. I can’t lie and say I disagree. We’re so far away from each other. We did good to last this long really.”

“Well, at least she wasn’t fucking around on you.”

“That is true. But look at it this way, Yelina threw you in the trash and now you’re my sister’s treasure.”

“How many beers did you have before I got here?”

“Just one, smartass.”

“That might’ve been one too many.”

“I’m gonna go ask my cousin where our food is. I’m starving,” Tony said as he got up from the booth at his uncle’s sports bar.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Another day alone before they left in two weeks for Harvard, leaving Izzy and Rafael in her room at her parents house, rolling around on her bed. His hand had made it under the pink cotton American Eagle skirt she was wearing, gently pushing her panties to the slide as he slid two fingers in her.

“Raf…” she moaned as his thumb rubbed her clit. “Rafa?”

“Are you okay?” He asked as he raised his head from her neck where he had been sucking a small spot.

“I’m fine. Um, do you…do you have anything with you?”

“Uh, uh, y-yeah, I do. Are you wanting…you wanting to…”

“Do you? If not, it’s fine.”

“I said when you were ready, right?”

“Yeah,” she nodded.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” she whispered as she pulled him carefully by the back of his neck so she could kiss him again.

“Okay,” he said as he swallowed hard. They both trembled as they undressed each other. Sure they had taken each other’s clothes off before but this was leading to something completely different.

“Wow,” he whispered as he couldn’t help but admire her body as she laid beside him. He leaned down to kiss her some more, sliding two fingers inside her to make sure she was still wet.

“You ready?”

“Yeah,” she whispered with a nod.

She could tell he was nervous while he took the condom and slid down on him.

“I love you,” he told her before starting. He noticed a pained look on her face when he slowly entered her. “You want me to stop?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Okay,” he started back slowly. Once he was all the way inside her and her pained look turned to a more relaxed one, he picked up his pace.

“God, Rafael,” she moaned quietly. She hadn’t felt something like this in her life.

Then as soon as it started, he let out a few small moans of his own and it was over as his hips stuttered while the condom was filled with his release. He looked everywhere but at his girlfriend before pulling out and rolling off of her.

Once he discarded the condom, the room was filled with a deafening silence. He just laid on his side, staring at the pink wall of his girlfriend’s childhood room. He finally sat up and grabbed his boxers.

“Rafa?”

“Yeah?”

“You okay?”

“Huh? Yeah. I’m fine,” he told her as he sat on the side of her bed getting his clothes back on.

“You’re just gonna take my virginity and leave?” She tried to joke, sensing the tension in the room.

“I forgot I have to be somewhere in an hour.”

“Oh. Okay, well, I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he told her as he leaned down to kiss her. “I’m sorry. I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Okay.”

She wasn’t sure what he was sorry for exactly.


	8. Chapter 8

“He just left?”

“Yeah, Erin. I mean it wasn’t great but I didn’t think he’d leave.”

“Maybe he was embarrassed, which he shouldn’t be because that happens.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve given him head and it usually takes a while for him to…you know.”

“Mouth and vagina are completely different areas.”

“I’m not a complete idiot, Erin. I know that. So, you don’t think it’ll always be like that?”

“I doubt it. Your brother…”

“What? My brother?”

“We’ve slept together a few times since him and Nikki broke up. Nothing is going on.”

“I should’ve known. So, it won’t always be terrible?”

“No. You’ll just have to do it more.”

“It hurt so bad, too.”

“Like I said, do it more and it’ll get better.”

“Okay.”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________  
“It couldn’t have been that bad.”

“No, it was worse, Tony.”

“I’ve had that happen.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged.

“What did you do?”

“I waited about 15-20 minutes until I was ready and went again.”

“I didn’t even think of that,” Rafael rolled his eyes as he fell on Tony’s extra bed, bouncing a little. “Your sister has to hate me now.”

“I doubt it.”

“She’s never gonna wanna sleep with me again. I know that much.”

“Dude you’re way too in your head about this.”

“I waited for the right person and so did she and I ruined it. Rafael Barba- One Minute Man at your service.”

“I thought you said it was at least 3.”

“Is that really any better?”

“Come on. She’ll be home from work in a few hours. I thought today was your 6 month anniversary.”

“I’m so sure she’ll want to spend it with me after yesterday,” he remarked sarcastically.

Tony just kind of laughed as he shook his head.  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Izzy had just gotten out of the shower after her shift when there was a knock on her bedroom door.

“You don’t have to knock, Erin. Raf…”

“Uh hey. I can wait till you get dressed.”

“Just come in here,” she chuckled as she pulled him in her room and shut the door. “You’ve seen me coming out of the shower in my robe at school.”

“Here,” he said as he handed her a CD shaped package.

“What’s this?”

“Open it.”

“Where did you find this?” She asked after she tore the pink paper off and saw the soundtrack to Krush Groove.

“There’s a record store in my neighborhood. Eddie and I were there a few days ago. You like it?”

“What do you think,” she smiled before she kissed him. “Thank you.”

“Happy anniversary.”

“6 whole months. Almost a year.”

“Almost. I was thinking we could go grab something to eat or something. Maybe go the Bronx.”

“Sure. Unless you want to…” she started kissing his neck and running her hand down his chest.

“M-m-maybe later.”

“Oh, okay. Well, let me get dressed and do my hair.”

“Tony! Izz! Erin! I’m home!” Stella called from downstairs.

“Shit. Your mother catches me in here with you in a towel, I’m dead.”

“Get in the closet.”

“Seriously?”

“Just go.”

He shut the door right as Stella walked into her daughter’s room.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Ma.”

“What are you doing?” Stella asked her with a knowing look.

“Getting ready to go out.”

“Where’s your brother and Erin?”

“Erin’s asleep. I don’t know where Tony is.”

“Oh, okay. Rafael you can come out of the closet.”

He slowly opened the door and came out with his face completely red. He wouldn’t even look at Stella as he spoke. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Rossetti.”

Stella stood and just kind of laughed. “Izzy you don’t have to hide your boyfriend in the closet. You’re almost 20 years old.”

“Okay. Sorry, Ma.”

“Well, you two have fun tonight. Your dad won’t be home till the morning and I’d appreciate it if you were home before he is this time.”

“Mom we fell asleep at Eddie’s two weeks ago.”

“I believe you. I just worry.”

“I get it.”

“Okay. I’ll let you finish.”

Rafael just fell on to Izzy’s unmade bed and covered his face. Two days in a row he had dealt with embarrassment in that same room.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
It took Izzy all of 30 minutes to get ready to go out. They ended up meeting with Eddie Garcia and his girlfriend Lorena in Longwood. The four of them went out for Indian food. Eddie always had a story to tell Izzy about Rafael’s younger days.

“Although, you may not know this, Izzy, but I would’ve never learned English had it not been for your boyfriend.”

“Really?”

“Really. He worked with me every day after school.”

“Aren’t you sweet?”

“It was the least I could do for my bodyguard.”

“I wouldn’t have had to defend you so much if you would’ve kept quiet,” Eddie laughed.

The four of them continued talking. It was evident that Eddie had nothing but admiration for Rafael. Rafael excused himself after his third glass of tea, leaving Izzy alone with Eddie and Lorena.

“You are so much better for him than Yelina ever was,” Eddie told her.

“You think so?”

“Definitely. He’s a different person with you. He’s…himself. He really does love you, you know?”

“I love him, too, Eddie.”

“I know you do. I’m making a prediction. I predict once he graduates law school, we will all be dancing at your wedding.”

“It’s only been 6 months, Eddie.”

“Eddie’s good with his predictions,” Lorena smiled.

“Well, we’ll see,” Izzy laughed.


	9. Chapter 9

“Explain to me again how you and your sister ended up with the same roommates for the second year in a row,” Anthony laughed as they sat down boxes in Erin and Izzy’s new dorm room. “And the 4 of you are in the same building.”

“But it’s a different building this year, Pop.”

“Junior.”

“We have a friend in the housing office who…did some switching around.”

“We’re here. Well, I am. Camille was taking care of some stuff in the office,” Hank laughed as he set a box of stuff for Erin down.

“Detective Voight how are ya?” Anthony asked the man with the gravelly voice.

“Good, Lieutenant. Really good. You?”

“Trying to get these kids settled.”

“I hope Erin wasn’t too much trouble over the summer.”

“Gee thanks, Hank,” Erin laughed.

“She was better than my two kids.”

“Pop!” They both said.

“Izzy stayed out all night with that one there,” Anthony laughed as he pointed at Rafael.

“It was one time, Dad.”

“And I didn’t mean to keep her out,” Rafael spoke as he finished hooking up the computer Hank and Anthony bought for the girls.

“I’m just giving you two a hard time.”

“They’re growing up on us, Anthony. I wish I could stop time. Between Erin being out here and Justin getting closer to graduating high school, it won’t be long Camille and I will be alone. You know one day, their fighting and you say to yourself ‘when do they leave for college’ then you look up, and they’re gone and your house is quiet. You feel kind of lost.”  
“I know that song all too well, Hank. Why don’t we go find our wives and grab some coffee?”

“What about our stuff?”

“You and Rafael can handle it. You’re grown men,” Anthony told his son.

“Come on, Tony. All my stuff is in your sister’s car.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“So, uh, you want help me unpack my stuff in a little bit?”

“Sure, Rafa. As soon as I make my bed I’ll be downstairs.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“Hmm, I love you,” she told him before kissing him.

“That’s enough you two,” Stella laughed as she and Camille came in the room.

Rafael sort of laughed as he walked out of the room.

“Izzy your boyfriend certainly is good looking.”

“Yes, he is, Mrs. Voight.”

“Hank and Mr. Rossetti just went looking for you two,” Erin told them.

“We saw them. We might be avoiding them for a little bit,” Camille laughed.

“Where’s Justin? I thought you guys might bring him out?”

“He’s staying with the Olinsky’s tonight. Me and Hank are going to head over to Boston after we leave here. Just a little ‘us’ time.”

Stella and Camille helped the girls put their clothes away before being found by Anthony and Hank. The four of them decided to head over to Boston for lunch before the Rossetti’s headed back to New York.

“So, you two still haven’t done it since the first time?”

“No and it’s like he doesn’t want to.”

“He will. Have you guys talked about it at all?”

“No. Maybe he just regrets it.”

“Do you?”

“I mean it wasn’t exactly how I pictured my first time but I don’t regret that it was with him.”

“Well, tell him.”

She hated when Erin was right. She knew they were gonna have to talk about it eventually.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
After making her bed, arranging the pictures on her nightstand, Izzy headed to her brother and Rafael’s room two floors below them.

“Need some help?”

“I’d love some,” Rafael smiled when she walked in. They were quiet as she helped him put away his clothes and make his bed. Tony couldn’t stand the silence.

“I’m gonna go see if Erin needs any help since it’s obvious you two need to talk about something.”

“He’s right,” Rafael spoke after Tony left. “We need to talk.”

“Yeah, we do,” she agreed as they sat on his bed.

“I love you. I really do.”

“Are you regretting…”

“No,” he told her. “I was…embarrassed about it.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“I knew it was important for you and me. I had a whole different expectation and it was…terrible. If I can’t last any longer than that, why would you want to do it with me again?”

“Why wouldn’t I? We need to keep doing it so we can better, right? I mean, this is a new experience for both of us. We’re learning the ins and outs, no pun intended, together.”

“I’m so stupid,” he laughed. 

“No, you’re sweet. Something we’ve learned now is that we need to talk when things are bothering us. I mean, I thought you regretted so I should’ve spoke up, too.”

“Nunca me arrepentiré, mi amor (I’ll never regret it).”

“Good. I won’t either.”

“You understood me?”

“I remember some stuff from high school.”

“So, would you give me a chance to redeem myself?”

“Absolutely,” she smiled. He began kissing her before getting up and putting a sock on the door so Tony wouldn’t come in.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
“First time…terrible. Second time…much better,” he laughed as he caught his breath.

“I concur. That was really good. How are you so good at…”

“Oral? I’ve read things.”

“Between that and the actual sex. I need a nap.”

“I can’t keep your brother out of our room. It’s only 4:00.”

“Are you two finished?” Tony said as he knocked on the door.

“Case in point,” Rafael scoffed as he rolled his eyes. “Just a minute!!”

“Well, I need to finish getting my side of the room in order anyways.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“Love you, too,” she smiled as she opened the door to find her brother standing against the railing across from the door.

“I don’t want to know,” he told her as he walked passed his sister.


	10. Chapter 10

“Ugh, why did I decide to major in History?” Erin groaned as she dropped her head on her book.

“I ask myself that about Psychology every day,” her roommate told her. 

“Where’s the boyfriend tonight?”

“Working. He traded off nights with Tony so we can actually see each other Thursday night, besides in class.”

“So, the sex has gotten a lot better from what it sounds like.”

“I don’t have anything to compare it to but uh, yeah, it has,” she said with a smile. “The other night, we tried it with me on top. Oh…my…god.”

“Amazing, huh?”

“Yeah, it was. Once I found the right movement…wow!”

“I told you. You know you need to let him…”

“We will, Erin. I mean it’s only been a few months. We’re still learning.”

“You read Cosmo. That’s like our Bible. You can learn a lot from there.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she laughed as she went back to her assignment. “So, what’s going on with you and my brother?”

“Nothing since summer,” Erin shrugged. “He knows where to find me. Hello? Uh, yeah. Can I ask who’s calling? Okay, hang on. Here, Izz.”

“Who is it?”

“Antonio?”

She hadn’t spoken to Antonio since they left for college over a year ago. “Uh, hey, Antonio.”

“Hey, Izz. How’s school?”

“Good. Real good. What about you?”

“Chicago’s great, yeah. I feel like I haven’t talked to you in forever.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s been a while.”

“The reason I’m calling is because…well, I miss you.”

“Dawson…”

“I know we said that we couldn’t make it work but maybe we could, you know?”

“Antonio it’s just that…well…I’m dating someone.”

“Oh,” he said quietly. “Uh, for how long?”

“About 8 months now.”

“Wow. So, it’s serious?”

“You could say that. Yeah.”

“Well…good for you. Really.”

“I’m sorry, Antonio.”

“Don’t be. I’m an idiot to think that you wouldn’t meet someone at Harvard. Is he good to you?”

“The best Antonio. You’d like him, I think.”

“Good. Oh, happy birthday, by the way.”

“Yeah, same to you. October 14th, right?”

“Yeah, it was,” he laughed. “Okay, well…I guess I’m gonna go.”

“Hey, Antonio?”

“Yeah?”

“You can call me anytime, you know?”

“Thanks, I will.”

“What was that about?”

“Don’t ask, Erin.”  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
“I know you didn’t think we were gonna spend our first night actually off together studying,” Rafael laughed when Izzy set her backpack down.

“Is that all you think about is sex?”

“Hmmm, some days. I think about other stuff, too.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Spending the rest of my life with you.”

“Rafa,” she giggled as she blushed. "You're an idiot."

“What? We’ve almost been together a year. You don’t think about that kind of stuff?”

She just kind of looked at him.

“You do, huh?”

“Shut up. I need to work on my Statistics.”

“I have some statistics for you,” he said with a grin that she knew all too well.

“Not right now.”

“Fine. Don’t come to me begging later.”

“Me, beg you?”

“You heard me.”

“Fine, come here.”

“Nope. Not now.”

“Okay, fine,” she shrugged as she laid on his bed and opened her book. She twisted a piece of hair around her finger while tapping her pen against her lip. He sat in the chair at his desk watching her, knowing she was trying to entice him.

He turned back to his book but couldn’t stop watching his girlfriend out the corner of his eye. “Okay, that’s it,” he announced as practically jumped on his bed.

“What are you doing?”

“The question is what are you doing?” He asked as he pinned her arms above her head causing her to laugh. 

“Rafael! I really need to study.”

“Oh me, too,” he told her as he began kissing her neck.

“I guess I could take a break,” she smiled as she pushed her book off his bed.

“Good. I’ve been thinking about this all week.”

They started making out and taking each other’s clothes off. 

“Fuck,” he muttered as he slammed his nightstand drawer.

“What’s the matter, Raf?”

“I’m out,” he said as showed her an empty condom box.

“Maybe Tony has some?”

“You can go through your brother’s stuff if you want. I’m not touching it.”

She got up and went to her brother’s nightstand. “It’s no Magnum but it’ll work,” she shrugged.

“Give it here.”

“So bossy when you’re horny,” she chuckled.

“Get over here and get on top of me.”

“Excuse me?”

“You started it. Don’t stop it now.”

“Fine.”  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
“He really said that?”

“Yeah, Erin. We’re only 20.”

“Maybe he was just saying that to see what you’d say.”

“I don’t know. He seemed serious.”

“I doubt he’s going to propose any time soon. So, what did you think when he said that?”

“Honestly…I don’t know. I mean, it might not be the worst idea I’ve ever heard. I mean not any time soon. One day though.”

“Nobody marries their first anymore.”

“I might,” Izzy shrugged as she put the fork full of salad into her mouth.

“Yeah, maybe you will. I don’t mean to sound cynical. I just don’t know if that’s for me. My dad’s been in and out of prison since before I was even born. My mom had a revolving door of ‘uncles’ coming around during my childhood.”

“Yeah but look at Hank and Camille. They’re probably a good example.”

“Maybe,” Erin chuckled, seemingly lost in her own thought.

“Sis you know they have more than rabbit food in here,” her brother said as he and Rafael joined them after they got out of class.

“The amount of salad dressing she uses hardly makes that healthy,” Erin laughed.

“Not to mention all stuff she piles on before the dressing,” Rafael teased as he poked her in the side.

“Keep scarfing down those burgers, bro. You’ll have a heart attack when you’re 40.”

Tony made the most disgusting sort of growl as he took a huge bite of the double bacon cheeseburger he had in his hand.

“So, I thought tonight I could maybe come stay the night with you?”

“Uh, sure, Raf. Erin you okay with Rafael staying with us tonight?”

“I won’t be there so it doesn’t bother me,” she laughed.

“Hot date?”

“Something like that,” she said as she glanced at Tony.

“I see. Not since summer, huh?”

“We’re just hanging out, sis. Don’t look too much into it.”

“Whatever you say. It’s not my bidness. What are we going to do tonight, Rafa?”

“Each other,” he whispered.

“That’s one of my favorite things to do,” she whispered back, causing them both to snicker like a couple of high school kids.

“These two lose their virginity and now they’re like rabbits,” Erin laughed.

“Don’t get her pregnant.”

“Shut up, Tony. Go back to your bovine deluxe there.”

“Don’t mind if I do, sis.”


	11. Chapter 11

“I’ve been waiting on you two,” Rafael’s grandmother, Catalina Diaz, smiled when they came in for Christmas.

“Traffic, Abuelita. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Glad you two are here. Izzy do you ever eat?”

“All the time, Abuelita,” Rafael laughed.

“She can answer for herself,” his grandmother playfully scolded.

“He’s right. I eat a lot but I work out a lot, too, so it balances out.”

“Well, you two, come on. I have a roast that just finished.”

“Great,” they both said. Truth was, they were late because they had found an abandoned building and parked behind it for a little “fun”. Sure, her car was cramped but they made it work none the less. All the work just to be a little naughty had made them hungry, too.

“So, how was this semester?”

“I think we both did pretty well,” Rafael told her.

“What are your plans while you’re home?”

“Well, actually, her parents invited me to go to Mass Christmas Eve with them.”

“What did your Mom say about that?”

“She said it was fine. Are you going to be upset if I go in Brooklyn instead of…”

“Nonsense,” she laughed. “As long as you go.”

“Of course, Abuelita.”

“That’s gotta be a pretty big deal for her parents to invite you along.”

“What do you think, Izz?”

“I guess so. I never really been with anybody this long.”

“Well, I think it is. Shows they’ve welcomed you into their family in a way.”

“Maybe,” he shrugged.

They continued eating and talking about school for a little while. Izzy then took Rafael to his parents apartment before heading to Brooklyn.  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
“Izz let me talk to you for just a minute."

“Uh, sure, Pop. Can I put my bag down?”

“Of course,” he chuckled.

“What’s up?”

“Sit down,” he told her as he open the Killian’s Red he had just gotten out of the fridge before his daughter walked in. “How serious is this thing with Rafael?”

“Uh, I’m not sure what you mean, Pop.”

“Are you two sleeping together?”

“Dad!!”

“I don’t want to discuss this any more than you do but I want you to be honest with me.”

“Yeah. Since August,” she said looking down at her feet.

“You’ve been together since February, correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

“When he comes to Mass Christmas Eve, your mom and I have decided that he can stay the night afterwards.” Anthony didn’t like discussing sex with his only daughter but he was happy to know that she and Rafael didn’t rush into anything and that he obviously didn't pressure her.

“Really?”

“You’re both 20-years-old, you’re adults. Besides, it’s going to be too late for him to be out. My one caveat is that your door stays open.”

“Uh, okay.”

“He’s more than welcome to spend Christmas with us as well.”

“Uh, yeah, I’ll tell him,” she said with a smile.

“I like Rafael. I really do. I don’t want your school work suffering if things progress. You worked hard to get where you are, as did he.”

“I know, Pop. We study all the time.”

“Okay. Well, go get settled. I’m sure you’re tired.”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.”  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
“I can’t believe your parents said I could stay the night,” Rafael laughed as they laid in her bed after Mass.

“I’m just as shocked as you are. What did you parents say?”

“Nothing really. I do gotta get up and go home in the morning, though.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“But I’ll be back by noon.”

“Good,” she smiled.

“When do you want to go back to the dorms?”

“You want to go Thursday?”

“We can. I know about a few parties going on New Year’s Eve if you’re interested.”

“Hmm, maybe.”

“Or we could get a pizza and just hang out.”

“We’ll figure it out next week.”

“Sure,” he smiled before he kissed her.

She snuggled into her “spot” on his chest, their breathing fell in sync as she fell asleep on him.

 

“You two awake,” Stella snickered as she knocked on Izzy’s open door.

“Uh…yeah, Ma.”

“Well, come downstairs and have some breakfast.”

“Okay. Hey, Rafa?”

“Hmm?”

“Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, mi amor,” he replied with a sleepy smile.

“You feel like breakfast?”

“Sure.”

“How did you sleep?”

“Really good. It’s nice to be in something other than a twin bed,” he chuckled as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Fuck. I forgot to take my contacts out.”

“Did you bring your glasses?”

“No. I’ll live.”

“Here,” she said handing him a bottle of drops.

“You’re always prepared, huh?”

“Well, I know how you’ll be studying and fall asleep with your contacts in. The next day you look like you’ve been smoking pot all night.”

“Well, thank you.”

“Better?”

“Yeah,” he told her as he blinked his eyes a few more times. 

“Come on. We need to beat Tony down there or there will be nothing left,” she laughed as she took her boyfriend’s hand.

“Uh, can I meet you down there?”

“Yeah, is everything…oh! Do I want to know what you were dreaming about?”

“No,” he laughed as he shook his head.

“I’ll see you downstairs.”

“Okay, so we decided this year, since you two got cars last year, we weren’t doing a lot of presents,” Stella told them as they sat at breakfast.

“Yeah, the tree looked kind of bare,” Tony remarked.

“There’s a few things, mainly stuff you need. Instead, here,” Anthony said as he handed both of his kids an envelope.

“$1000, Pop?”

“I want that in your accounts so you have a little extra besides your paychecks.”

“Thanks, guys,” Izzy told her parents.

Rafael finally joined them in the kitchen.

“Ah, Rafael, you’re just in time,” Anthony laughed.

“Sorry, I was having problems with my contacts.”

“Here you go,” Anthony said as he handed him an envelope.

“What’s this?”

“Just open it.”

“$500?”

“Daddy.”

“Anthony thank you but I can’t take this.”

“You’re important to both of my kids, my daughter more so, which means you’re important to us. I know you work but that’s just a little something extra to put in your bank   
account.”

“Well…I…thank you, very much.”

“Of course, son,” Anthony replied as he patted him on the back. “Now, let’s eat before Tony eats all the bacon.”

“I keep telling him he’s gonna have a heart attack by 40 with the way he eats,” Izzy laughed.

“Shut up,” Tony told his sister as he stuck a tongue full of chewed up bacon out at her.

“You’re disgusting," she shot back at him with a tongue of chewed up eggs.

"Okay, you two act civilized," Anthony laughed as he shook his head.


	12. Chapter 12

“Can I ask you something?” Rafael asked as he turned down Pearl Jam’s latest CD, Vitalogy, on the drive back to Cambridge.

“Of course, Raf. You can ask me anything,” his girlfriend replied with a smile.

“Do you…are you happy…do I satisfy you?”

“Well, yeah. I’m very happy with you.”

“I mean…in bed.”

“Yeah? What makes you think…”

“Have I ever actually given you an orgasm and I’m not talking about when you’re on top.”

“Well…no,” she told him quietly. 

“I didn’t think so,” he said as he slowly let her hand go.

“I enjoy what we do, though. I mean the way you kiss me during, look in my eyes, when you hold onto me. I love all of that. What made you ask that?”

“Your brother was talking about him and Erin the other night after you fell asleep. We played a few video games and he was telling me that before we all left for Christmas, they were doing it and apparently she had not one but two orgasms. I feel like I’m doing something wrong.”

“We don’t have the experience they do. We’re still kind of learning stuff.”

“I would just think after 4 months, I’d be better and able to satisfy you.”

“You do, Rafa. You’ve given me orgasms before.”

“Yeah from going down on you,” he scoffed as he rolled his eyes.

“And? It’s amazing when that happens. What about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, the other night, I tried to have a little fun while my parents went to my Uncle’s bar. You pushed my hand away. Do you not like when I do that? I mean, when we’re short on time…”

“No, I do. It’s just by the time I’m finished, I don’t really have time to return the favor, so to speak. You know what? I think we need to stop listening to your brother and Erin,” he   
chuckled.

“I agree. Look, we’ll get there.”

“Okay.”

“In the meantime, we’ll just keep doing what we’re doing because I like it.”

“So do I,” he agreed as he took her hand again.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Izzy had finished taking her shower and headed back to her dorm where she had left her boyfriend in her bed, watching TV.

“Are you seriously reading Cosmo?” She laughed as she set her things down.

“I gotta stay up to speed on the enemy game plan.”

“Is that right?”

“Yep,” he told her as he flipped the page.

“So, did you find anything interesting,” she asked as she laid next to him.

“A few things. Looks like a few of these pages have been looked over more than once. Kind of torn in places. Like this one talking about positions to insure an orgasm and we just   
had a similar conversation yesterday.”

“That’s Erin’s.”

“The address label reads, ‘Elizabeth M. Rossetti’,” he smirked. “Is there something on these two pages that you found interesting?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged.

“Well, I did.”

“Seriously?”

“We have two moves and while I quite enjoy both of them, I don’t think it would hurt to add something to our repertoire.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“This one.”

“Doggy-style? Are you…do you want to?”

“Yeah. You know I love your ass as it is. Wouldn’t mind seeing it from that angle.”

“Okay then.”

After about 30 minutes of foreplay, he reached into her nightstand to grab a condom. He had her soaked as it was so she was more than ready. Once he was behind her, he lined up perfectly to enter her.

“Raf.”

“Are you okay?”

“It hurts a little.”

“You want me to stop?”

“No. Just a little slower?”

“Okay.” He slowly started filling her up from behind. “You okay, mi amor?”

“I’m f-f-fine,” she moaned as he started to pick up his pace. “Oh yeah…”

“Does that feel good?”

“Yeah…a little…faster.”

He started picking up his pace even more as she held her hand against the wall. “Raf…Raf…I think…oh…my god! Keep…going. I’m…” she kept moaning as a tingling sensation went all over her skin and even up to her brain. There it was. An actual orgasm from sex and not from her being on top. She didn’t know if she could continue to hold herself up while he finished, moaning during his own release.

“God…” he growled as his hips came to a stop once he was finished. He slowly pulled out to make sure nothing happened to the condom and she immediately fell onto her bed. “You okay?” He asked as he caught his breath.

“So…much…more than…okay.”

They were both drenched in sweat.

“That was amazing, Rafa.”

“You’re not just saying that?”

“Not at all. Everything that I read…how it would feel…I did. All I can say is, 'damn'.”

“Well, that was two for you tonight.”

“Yes, it was. So much for that shower,” she laughed.

“I love you, cariño.”

“I love you, too, Raf.”  
________________________________________________________________________________________

“Izz!”

“Wha-ugh, Tony, you asshole!!” She yelled at her brother after getting hit by a snowball as they walked from their cars after a night class.

“Can’t catch me,” he teased as he jumped side to side in front of her.

“No, but I can,” Rafael said hitting his roommate in the back of the head with one.

“Ha ha!”

“You’re both dead.”

“Tony!” Izzy took off running around the building after throwing her backpack on a bench. She had lost sight of both her brother and boyfriend. She kept peeking around the building looking for them. She had a snowball ready to go for whoever she saw first.

She took a step back only to feel a body behind her. She instantly froze, not knowing who it was. She put her hand behind her to try and feel but her hand was grabbed and she was spun around by none other than her boyfriend.

“Raf…”

“Did I scare you, baby?”

“A little.”

“Sorry.”

“Where’s Tony?” 

“I lost him on the other side of the quad. Erin came out of nowhere and bombarded him.”

“Good,” she laughed.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“This,” he smiled, apologetically as he put snow down her shirt.

“Oh my god, Rafael!! That’s cold!!!”

“It’s not supposed to be warm,” he laughed as he took off running.

She used her arm that helped her get several ribbons and trophies in shot-put and launched the snowball she had been holding and getting Rafael right in the forehead.

“Oh my god, Rafael!” She ran over to him as he held his head. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m fine.”

“Let me see. I didn’t mean to get you in the head.”

“I said I’m fine.”

“I’m really sorry.”

He wouldn’t look at her and she just knew he was mad at her. Until, she got one just smashed in her hair.

“Rafael!!”

They were both laughing way too hard and ended up slipping in the snow, which made them laugh even more. He leaned over and kissed her as they laid there.  
“I thought you were mad at me,” she told him once he broke away from her.

“Of course not. Come on. You got me good though,” he chuckled as he rubbed his forehead.

“You two are going to get stuck like that,” Erin laughed as she and Tony walked up arm in arm to find them kissing again.

Rafael helped Izzy to her feet as they dusted themselves off. “Are we calling truce?”

“You started it, Tony,” his sister answered. 

“I’m soaked and want out of these wet clothes so I say ‘truce’.”

“Agreed,” the other three said in unison.

“I have clothes in your dorm, don’t I, Tony?”

“Yes, you do, Erin.”

“Then I guess I’m going back with you, cariño.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Once Rafael and Izzy were in her dorm, they began stripping each other’s clothes off while they kissed. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he took them to her bed, all while their tongues fought for dominance. He loved the periwinkle blue bra and panties set she was wearing and really didn’t want to take it off of her once he laid her down.

“I need you, Rafa.”

“You’re gonna have me, mi vida,” he told her as kissed her belly and began moving down. His mouth was so warm on her body as he kept going further, removing and throwing her panties into the floor.


	13. Chapter 13

“Happy Anniversary,” Erin told Izzy as they got ready for class one morning.

“Thanks,” Izzy laughed.

“You two have been together a whole year. Any plans on the future?”

“Erin.”

“I’m kidding. Although, if anyone could make it, it would be the two of you.”

“You think?”

“Definitely. I don’t know who has it worse. You or him.”

“Hush. Come on, we’re gonna be late for Perception.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. So, any big plans for tonight?”

“I think we’re just gonna hang out. I told him he didn’t have to make a big deal and spend money. I just want to spend time with him.”

“Awww…blech.”

“Don’t get me started on you and my brother, sister-in-law.”

“Very funny, asshole.”

“Let’s go. You know Professor Touchy-McFeely gets if you’re late.”

After their day of classes and no work, Erin and Izzy headed back to their building around 4pm.

“You want to grab something to eat?”

“I’m not very hungry, Izz.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Oh, shit.”

“What?”

“I, uh, need to go to the library.”

“For what?”

“I…left my student ID there last night.”

“I thought you had it when we went to the bookstore earlier.”

“N-no. The guy let me use my driver’s license.”

“Okay. You want me to drive you over there?”

“No! I mean, no. I can run over there, no problem.”

“Oh-kay. Well, don’t take too long.”

“Izz we don’t have Perception again until Monday. I think we’ll have plenty of time to study.”

“I suppose.”

Izzy decided to use the elevator instead of the stairs to get to their dorm. She opened the door and was hit with a bunch of balloons.

“What the…”

“Keep coming, cariño,” she heard Rafael say.

She pushed the balloons out of her way and found her boyfriend, in a suit, sitting on her bed, holding a single red rose.

“Rafael…”

“Happy 1 year anniversary, baby,” he told her as he got up to kiss her and give her the rose.

“This is…I…happy anniversary, Rafa,” she said as she fought tears. “What’s with the suit?”

“We have reservations tonight.”

“Where?”

“That’s a surprise. I had Erin pick out a dress for you to wear and of course, your favorite Manolo’s.”

“Raf…this is so much. I don’t deserve this.”

“Why not? I love you, you love me.”

“I do love you. So much.”

“Then take this dress and get ready. I’ll wait.”

“Okay,” she said as she took the hanger from him.

Once she was dressed and ready, they headed to her car. “I hope you don’t have a problem with going to Boston.”

“Not at all, Rafa.”

30 minutes later, they arrived at a very upscale Italian restaurant in Boston. 

One look at the menu made Izzy nervous.

“What’s wrong, cariño?”

“Can you afford this?”

“Yes, baby,” he laughed. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure? I would’ve been fine with pizza or…”

“Stop,” he told her as he took her hand. “I’ve been planning this for a while so I’ve saved.”

“Okay.”

Izzy decided to try a little experiment when the server came to take their drink order. 

“I’d like a 7 & 7.”

“Certainly, ma’am. And for the gentleman?”

“I’ll have a glass of MacAllen neat.”

“I’ll be right back.”

“Oh my god, he didn’t even ask for our ID’s,” Izzy laughed.

“We can’t drink too much, mi amor.”

“You can’t,” she smiled.

Their drinks came and Rafael nursed his. Izzy drank hers pretty quickly and ordered another. They shared a fried calamari appetizer while they waited. They talked about the classes they didn’t have together and other things. They both had ordered the Gnocchi with lobster and enjoyed every bite.  
Rafael asked for the check once they were finished and Izzy finished her third drink. “Oh my god,” he whispered as his eyes got huge.

“Rafa. Here, I have a credit card…”

“I’m just kidding,” he snickered. “I can more than handle it.”

“Don’t do that to me.”

“Why not? It’s fun.”

“Why do I love you?”

“Hmmm, I think part of it is in my pants.”

“Rafael Eduardo Barba!”

“Si, Elizabeth Michelle Rossetti?”

“You’re a snarky snarkerson.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. Listen, I want to talk to you about something,” he said as he took both of her hands in his.

“Um…okay?”

“I love you, so much more than I have ever loved anyone in my life.”

“I love you, too, Raf.”

“I know we’re young and we still have lots of school ahead of us.”

“Yeah.”

“But…I…” he didn’t finish his thought as he reached into the inside pocket of his jacket, pulled out a small black box, and slid it to her.

“Raf?”

“I’m not asking you to marry me…yet. I’m just making a promise that I am 100% committed to you and you only and one of these days, I plan on replacing this with a big, better ring. I want to marry you one day.”

She opened the box to find a white gold band with a pink heart shaped stone.

“If you don’t want it…”

“I love it, Rafa. I want to marry you one day, too.”

“Really? That’s not the 7 talking?”

“Not at all,” she smiled. “Are you going to put it on me or do I…”

He smiled as he took the ring out of the box and put it on her finger. “How’s that?”

“Perfect.”  
___________________________________________________________________________________  
“Your money’s mine, Greene.”  
“Your fly is down, Gellar.”

Rafael and Izzy laid on her bed, watching “Friends” on a Thursday night in March 1995. 

“Baby?”

“Si?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“How did you get this scar on your leg?” She asked as she ran her hand along said scar on his upper thigh.

“Um…I…you know you’ve asked about my relationship with my dad and I’ve told you we don’t get a long?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“Oh.”

“He…he used to beat me and my mother.”

“I didn’t mean to push,” she said quietly.

“It’s okay. Anyways, this particular scar I got when I was 8. He had accidentally knocked a picture off the wall, the glass in the frame shattered. He took his belt to me because I was   
acting foolish in his words when I really just bumped into the wall. I tried to get away from him and he caught my leg and he just kept going. It eventually started bleeding. I didn’t need stitches, thankfully.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“That’s not even the worst of it,” he told her as he sat up and started going into detail about the abuse he suffered at the hands of his father. She tried so hard to fight the tears as they filled her eyes while she listened. She noticed a tear fall from his cheek when he described the hate he had for his father.  
Izzy didn’t say anything as she pulled him into her for a tight hug. He held onto her while he cried silently as if he never wanted to let her go.

“I don’t understand how someone could be so cruel to their own child.”

“He always told me I had it a lot better than he did.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, cariño. I would never lay a hand on our kids.”

“Our kids, huh?” She asked with a small smile as she slowly pulled away from her boyfriend.

“Yeah,” he shrugged.

“How many?”

“5, 6 maybe.”

“Really?”

“I want a big family. I want to be covered in kids and then grandkids one day. I will never let a day go by without telling them I love them. Is that okay?”

“I’ve always wanted a big family, too.”

“Maybe 3 girls and 3 boys.”

“That’s not up to us,” she laughed.

“I know but it would be nice.”

“It’s almost time for ‘Seinfeld’,” she smiled as she leaned back on her bed and pulled him into her so she could wrap her legs and arms around him. Truth be told, he never felt safer than he did wrapped in her arms.  
________________________________________________________________________________________

“Hey, Pop.”

“Hey, kiddo,” Anthony said as his daughter plopped down on the couch during her Spring break. “Rafael still asleep?”

“Yeah, we were up pretty late last night and then the drive down here today. Hey, Daddy can I ask you something?”

“Of course you can sweetheart.”

“When you and Ma…when did you know you wanted marry her?”

“From the moment I met her.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. Your Uncle Vinnie was dating your Aunt Roberta, she went to school with your mom, and they set us up.”

“You were working at the fire house then weren’t you?”

“I was. She was going to school at Queens college. Of course, we waited until she graduated. Why do you ask?”

“Rafael told me he wants to marry me one day.”

“I know he does.”

“Really?”

“I see the way he looks at you and the way you look at him. Let him get out of law school first.”

“I am,” she laughed. “You and Ma have only…”

“She’s the only woman I’ve been with and I’m the only man she’s been with. Are you the only…”

“I am. We were both…”

“Good.”

“Hey.”

“There he is,” Anthony laughed as Rafael joined them. “You sleep good, son?”

“I did, Anthony, thanks.”

“So, what do you two have planned for Spring break? Your brother went to Chicago with Erin. Rafael you’re welcome to stay here the whole week if you want.”

“Thanks, Anthony.”

“No monkey business, though,” he told them as he pointed in their direction, causing them both to agree as they blushed.


	14. Chapter 14

“I wasn’t sure if we were going to see you while you were home,” Lucia chuckled as she made lunch for her son and his girlfriend.

“We’ve been kind of busy, Mami.”

“I don’t want to know.”

“I didn’t mean that, jeez!” Rafael said as his face turned pink. “We’ve been going to the movies, hanging out with Eddie a little.”

“Do you talk to anyone else?”

“You mean Alex? I haven’t spoken to him in over a year.”

“Well, it is understandable. So, Izzy any thoughts on what you might do once you graduate?”

“Well, it’s still roughly 2 years away but I’ve kind of been thinking about getting my Master’s and teaching.”

“Really?”

“I’m on the fence still. My mom’s a teacher after all.”

“And I actually know her.”

“That’s what she told me,” Izzy chuckled. 

“Yeah, we’ve met off and on over the years at different workshops and such. She’s always been really nice.”

“My parents are pretty great. My brother and I have been lucky.”

“You know it’s funny, the first time I remember meeting her, I was pregnant with Rafi and she was pregnant with you and your brother.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yes, ma’am. 1974. We were both still ‘new’ at teaching and had to attend a conference of some kind in Queens. The male teachers of course didn’t but it was the 70s after all. We were both about 6 months along, of course she was a lot bigger than I was.”

“Lucy?”

“Fuck,” Rafael whispered to himself after hearing his dad’s voice. 

“He’s just coming home for lunch.”

“And there’s the big Ivy League man,” Miguel popped off as he walked into the kitchen. 

“Hi, Dad,” he said with no enthusiasm at all.

“And Izzy how are you?”

“Fine, Mr. Barba,” she replied.

“And how’s school going?”

“Good,” Rafael replied for the both of them.

“I don’t know why you couldn’t have stayed here and went to school. Roberto could always use extra help around the garage.”

“And I know a lot about cars, Dad.”

“It wouldn’t kill you to get your hands dirty. Learn how to use your hands like a real man.”

“I…you know, what. I’m not doing this.”

“Can we just have a nice lunch?” Lucia pleaded.

Miguel just started eating as he mumbled something to himself in Spanish. After the awkwardness during lunch, Miguel headed back to work while Izzy helped Lucia clean up the kitchen.

“You don’t have to do that,” Lucia snickered when she found Izzy loading the dishwasher.

“I don’t mind.”

“Well, thank you, Izzy,” she smiled. “So, things seem to be going good with you and my son.”

“They really are.”

“Just don’t break his heart.”

“I won’t, Lucia.”

“I told him the same about you,” she laughed, “so, don’t think I’m just coming down on you.”

“Of course.”

“But also, I don’t want you two rushing into anything.”

“I know.”

“I know you two love each other and he wants to marry you one day but he’s worked so hard to get to Harvard. The last thing he needs is a wife or a child while he’s still in school.”

“Lucia I couldn’t agree more.”

“Good. I’m glad we’re on the same page. No details about your sex life but you two…”

“We’re being safe.”

“Okay, that’s all I wanted to know.”

“I’m not ready for a baby, I assure you.”

“You can give me grandchildren when he passes the bar.”

“You got a deal, Lucia.”  
__________________________________________________________________________

“Did you leave your razor here while you and my sister went home last week?”

“No,” Rafael told his roommate.

“So, you’re just not gonna shave?”

“I might, I might not. Are you jealous?”

“I can grow a beard.”

“No, you can’t,” his sister laughed as she and Erin met them in the dining hall in their building for a quick lunch.

“Hey, baby,” Rafael said as he kissed her cheek while he still had a mouth full of food. 

“Tony giving you shit about you growing a beard?”

“Yes.”

“I like it, Indiana.”

“Why am I not surprised?”

“In fact, I’m having a really hard time keeping my hands to myself right,” she leaned over and whispered in Rafael’s ear while squeezing his thigh. He’d only been growing it for a week but it was coming in nicely and he looked amazing.

“You serious,” he asked quietly.

“Absolutely.”

“Hey, can you guys take care of our trays?”

“Uh, sure, Barba.”

“Thanks,” he said as he grabbed Izzy’s hand and led her out of the dining hall.

Erin and Tony just looked at each other and shook their heads. “We’re not that bad, are we, Erin?”

“We probably do more than them. We just don’t do it as much as them.”

“Good point.”

“The floodgates opened once he popped…”

“That’s still my sister, Erin.”

“Well and vice-versa, you know.”

The door was barely closed as Izzy took Rafael’s unbuttoned blue and white plaid shirt off then his blue t-shirt.

“This really turns you on, doesn’t it?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” she panted between kisses.

“How much time do we have?”

“I don’t have to be at work for another 45 minutes," she told him.

“If properly motivated, I can do it twice in that amount of time.”

“Then stop talking.”  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
“So, a little ‘sky-rockets in flight, afternoon delight’ huh?”

“Maybe, Erin. Maybe it was twice,” Izzy laughed as they stood behind the counter, checking in returned library books.

“Have you guys done anything besides doggy-style?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know there’s like thousands of different positions.”

“I know that, Erin.”

“You know what you should try?”

“What?”

“Let him play with your ass.”

“He does.”

“No, I mean like…a finger or two or something else.”

“EW, NO!” 

“Shhh!”

“It’s not that bad. You just have to use a lot of lube and then when he’s got you bent over…”

“Erin he would kill me if he did that.”

“It doesn’t matter how big he is, it’s possible.”

“How do you know?”

“I’ve seen it in movies and I’ve tried it.”

“Couldn’t that get…messy?”

“It doesn’t have to. It can be really fun.”

“I don’t know. That just seems…painful.”

“Stop being such a Pollyanna,” Erin playfully teased.

“I’m not. I’ve only been with one guy and wouldn’t he think I’m gross if I ask him to do that?”

“If he does then he’s a prude. Every guy wants to at least try it.”  
_______________________________________________________________________________  
“I didn’t think we were quite there yet to discuss this as a possibility,” Rafael said after Izzy told him about her and Erin’s conversation at work.

“I’m not even laying it on the table,” she assured him.

“Listen, Erin wasn’t entirely wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to trying it…one day.”

“Okay.”

“If you never want to, we don’t have to. I won’t ever pressure you into doing something you’re not comfortable with.”

“I know,” she smiled.

“Until then, we can still enjoy each other like we’ve been doing. Like we did twice today," he told her quietly as he started kissing her neck.

“I thought we were studying?”

“Fine. After?”

“Maybe," she grinned.


	15. Chapter 15

“And thus, begins our Junior year,” Tony laughed as he Rafael got into their after a day of classes.

"Hey, I want to show you something, Tony.”

“Dude if you have a rash or something…”

“I’ve been with one girl and I’m still with her. Shut up. This is serious. Here,” he said as he handed him a brochure from a jewelry story in Boston.

“Are you seriously gonna propose to my sister?”

“You see the price of the one I circled don’t you? It’s going to take me a few years to pay for it.”

“Wow.”

“Don’t…say…anything.”

“I won’t I swear.”

“I’m going to start tutoring some underclassmen in things like econ, statistics, that kind of stuff for some extra money. Maybe by our first year of law school, I’ll have it paid for.”

“You…you’re serious.”

“I love her, Tony. I can’t imagine my life without her.”

“Damn, man,” Tony said as he walked over and hugged his future brother in law.

“You think your dad will give me permission when it’s time?”

“Of course, he will.”

“Thanks.”

“So, between tutoring and the bookstore, when are you gonna have time for my sister?” Tony teased.

“I’ll make time for her.”

“I can’t believe you two didn’t get an apartment off campus.”

“We talked about it over the summer but just decided not to right now. We’ll have plenty of time for that.”

“Yeah, I guess you will.”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
“Barba tutoring tonight?”

“Yeah. Professor Ellis asked him to help some freshman girl in his first year Econ class.”

“A girl?”

“Yeah?”

“And you’re not worried?”

“Why would I be? I’m the one that wears this ring.”

“You need to feel her out.”

“Erin I trust him.”

“I know you do.”

Izzy wasn’t sure if she believed her own words and grabbed her purse and keys. “Don’t wait up, Erin.”

She got to the center where Rafael would normally tutor underclassmen. She found him at a table with a brunette, she was probably a little short than Izzy who was only 5’4 herself.

“Hola, mi amor,” he smiled when he saw her. “What brings you here?”

“I was just going to see how much longer you had. Thought you might be hungry.”

“Actually I am. Kara why don’t we stop where we are and pick it up Thursday?”

“Okay, Rafael. Thanks for your help. Nice to see you again, Izzy.”

“You too, Kara,” she said with a smile.

“What are you in the mood for, beautiful?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“You were checking up on me, weren’t you?”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“Elizabeth.”

“I just wanted to make sure she didn’t get…too friendly.”

“We’ve been together almost 2 years.”

“I know but I still worry about one of these younger girls coming in and taking you away from me.”

“That will never happen. What have I told you? Hmm?”

“You want to marry me.”

“That’s right. I mean that.”

“Okay.”

“Come on. I think you are going to treat your man to a steak.”

“Am I?”

“Yes, you are,” he laughed as he put his arm around her neck while they walked out.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
“Where are you going tonight?”

“I am meeting Rafael after he’s done tutoring Kara and we are having a much needed date night,” Izzy told her roommate as she got ready.

“Should I go to their dorm tonight?”

“You can I guess. It has been a week or two because of mid-terms and him working basically two jobs. His tutoring schedule got really heavy before mid-terms. So, we both need some…bad.”

“I swear,” Erin laughed as she shook her head. “From the time you two first got together till now…”

“I enjoy making love to him.”

“Cracks me up you still call it that.”

“Hush.”

“Just have fun.”

“I intend to. You and my brother…behave.”

“I can’t make any promises.”

“How do I look?”

“I’d do you.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Izzy laughed.

“You might want to push the girls up a little more.”

“If I push them up any further, they’re gonna fall out. I’m doing my best to keep them in as it is.”

“Must be nice.”

“Eh. Okay, well, I’m gone. See ya later.”

“Bye.”

Izzy excitedly walked to the center to meet her boyfriend for their first date in weeks. 

She walked to the table he always used, only to find the brunette’s lips pressed to her boyfriend’s. She couldn’t even say anything. She dropped her purse and ran out the door.  
She could hear her boyfriend call her name as she ran to her car and peeled out as she left. She couldn’t get her key in the door of her room because she was shaking so much. Tears flowed from her eyes. About 20 minutes later there was a knock on her door.

“Izz?”

“Go away, Rafael!”

“Let me in, please.”

“No!”

“Please? Let me explain…”

“I said go away!”

“Mi amor…”

“Go…away!”

He didn’t knock again or say anything else. She just sat there and cried. How could he do that to her? He promised her she would never have to worry about anyone else taking him from her.

“Izz?”

“Where’s your key, Erin?”

“I left it in your brother’s room. Will you let me in?”

“Sure,” she sniffled as she got up to open the door. “Rafael I said go away.”

“No. You have to let me talk to you.”

“Erin…”

“Izzy just listen to what he has to say.”

“Fine.”

“Here’s your purse,” he said as he handed her the black bag.

“Thanks.”

“Baby please…”

“How could you do that, Rafael?”

“I didn’t. She kissed me.”

“You didn’t seem like you were fighting her off.”

“She had just did it when you walked in. She told me she had developed feelings for me over the last few weeks and I explained to her I was completely committed to you and that I was waiting on you to meet me.”

“I just…I just…I can’t…”

“Don’t finish that sentence. I’m begging you,” he told her with tears in his eyes. “I don’t want anybody but you. I bought you this ring for a reason. My feelings haven’t changed and they won’t. I promise you.”

“Raf…”

“I love you, Elizabeth. Only you. I plan to for the rest of my life.”

“Really?”

“Yes. The reason I’ve taken this other ‘job’ is so, in a few years, I can replace this ring.”

“Rafa.”

“I mean it. You’re it for me. I know this, in my heart and in my head. You are going to be the mother of my many, many children.”

She managed a small laugh through her tears.

“I’m so sorry,” he sniffled.

“Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. He pulled her into him and held her in his arms.

“Te quiero, cariño. Siempre.”

“Te amo para siempre, también, Rafael.”

“You’re getting better,” he chuckled before kissing her.

“Oh, ew.”

“What?”

“It’s just…you…”

“I’ll go brush my teeth,” he laughed as he picked up the toothbrush, paste, and mouthwash he kept in her room.  
____________________________________________________________________________________  
“How many cups of coffee is that, Raf?” Izzy laughed as she met him to study for their finals before Christmas.

“Don’t ask,” he said as he looked up from his book.

“Glad I thought to bring you another one,” she replied as she picked up the empty cup to throw away.

“You are very polite. Tell me you have another highlighter.”

“Blue, green, pink, yellow?”

“Amarillo, mi amor. Gracias.”

“De nada, babe. So, what are you working on?

“Comparative Politics. Ugh, pain in my ass.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“It’s not really. Just a lot to cover.”

“The life of a Political Science major.”

“Hush,” he smirked as he tossed his now defunct highlighter at her.

“It’s going to be all worth it, Rafa.”

“It certainly is,” he replied as he took her hand. “Next year is our Senior year then law school for me, grad school for you. We can get married after all that.”

“You don’t have my ring paid for yet,” she teased. 

“That’s going to take a while.”

“You guys mind if I join you?”

“Not at all, Rita,” Izzy smiled. Rita Calhoun was a Senior but both Rafael and Izzy had classes with her over the years.

“Izzy tell me you have notes from Social Psychology and Law.”

“What happened to yours, Rita?” She laughed as she handed over her notebook.

“Drunk roommate and coffee. Don’t ask. So, Barba when do you plan on taking the LSATs?”

“June, actually, Rita. Do you know if you got into law school yet?”

“Not yet. Probably won’t until after the first of the year. So, what do you guys have planned for Christmas?”

“Going home to New York for a few days and then probably back here. We usually don’t stay gone very long.”

“Need for privacy, huh?”

“Something like that,” Izzy blushed.  
______________________________________________________________________________  
“You sure you’ll be okay, Erin?”

“Go. It’s slow. I can close up. There’s like 3 people here.”

“Okay, then. Well, I think Tony is working tonight, so I think I’ll surprise my boyfriend. Finals had him so stressed. I should help him…relieve some of it.”

“That doesn’t even sound right coming from you,” Erin laughed.

“Leave me alone.”

“I’m just kidding. Have fun.”

“I certainly intend to.”

Izzy grabbed up her things and headed out of the library to their building.

Tony and Rafael’s room was a lot further way from Izzy and Erin’s even if they had ended up in the same building for the third year in a row.

She got to her boyfriend’s room and slowly opened the door. The upperclassmen dorms were a lot bigger so the beds weren’t right by the door.

The further she walked inside, she could hear soft moans coming from her boyfriend and what sounded like a girl as well. She turned the corner, expecting the worst but instead saw Jenna Jameson on the TV and her boyfriend pleasuring himself. 

She couldn’t help but get turned on at the sight. He had the tape going but was still thinking about his girlfriend as her name quietly escaped his lips.

“Raf?”

“Oh my god!” He scrambled to grab the remote while quickly pulling his comforter over himself. “I’m…I’m s-s-sorry.”

“For what?”

“I don’t do that a lot, I promise. I’ve just been stressed and I need a release sometimes.” He was clearly embarrassed.

“I don’t care…I mean, it was kind of a turn on.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. In fact,” she started as she climbed onto his bed. “Why don’t you finish?”

“Um…okay.”

“Do you want me to restart the tape for you?”

“No. Start taking off your clothes for me…slowly.”

“Ohhh, you’re wanting me to strip for you?”

“Please?”

“Sure. Music?”

“Whatever you want.”

“I better put that sock on the door just in case your roommate comes back early.”

She turned on TLC’s “Red Light Special” as she started slowly unbuttoning her shirt.

“Just like that, baby,” Rafael moaned while he started stroking himself again. She watched as he picked up his pace until his release shot on to his stomach. “Damn,” he said as he caught his breath.

“You know, every once in a while, when I’m alone, I do it, too,” she told her boyfriend as she curled her naked body around his.

“Can I watch you?”

“I don’t see why not.”


	16. Chapter 16

“You know, my grandparents used to bring me here when I was a kid, I guess to try and help me forget when my dad would, you know.” Rafael told his girlfriend as they sat in a hole-in-the-wall burger place in the Morris Heights neighborhood his grandmother lived in. “I never had to order food. They brought me here for the huge brownie sundae they have. It is so good.”

“You want to split one?”

“You don’t eat desserts, mi amor,” he chuckled.

“I do, too. I just have to run an extra mile when I do.”

“I want to ask you something.”

“Shoot.”

“Do you work out because you worry about your weight?”

“I just like to be in shape,” she shrugged. “Always have. I mean I had to be to play sports in school.”

“I get that.”

“It just stuck with me after, I guess. Don’t you want me to be in shape?”

“Baby when you carry my children, you’re not going to be a size 4.”

“I’m aware of that. I can still work out when I’m pregnant.”

“I just don’t want you doing that kind of stuff because you think…I’ll love you no matter what size you are.”

“I know that,” she smiled. “God you’re not kidding. This thing is huge,” she laughed when the gigantic sundae was set in front of them.

“Where have I heard that before?”

“Shut up or your nice blue sweater is gonna have a big whipped cream stain on it, Rafael,” she smirked as she held up her spoon.

“Believe it or not, I could finish one of these when I was like 6-years-old.”

“You must’ve been a handful for your grandparents after one of these.”

“I’m assuming that’s why they always took me to the park afterwards,” he laughed.

They continued sharing the brownie dessert that was covered in chocolate syrup, vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and cherries. He watched intently as she took one of the cherries and playfully flicked it with her tongue before popping it off the stem.

“You’re looking for trouble, mi Corazon.”

“Rafael?” A voice called from the booth behind them.

“Uh, hey, Alex.”

“I thought I heard your voice. It’s good to see you.”

“Yelina.”

“It’s been years, Rafi.”

“Yeah, it has.” He hadn’t seen his ex nor his oldest friend since Thanksgiving 1993, when she told him that she had been spending time with Alex after Rafael left for Harvard. He   
had loved her since he was 15, dated other girls and finally got the one he had pined for, only for her to break his heart after almost 3 years because he wasn’t ready to have sex mainly. “Alex Munoz, Yelina Ortiz, this Elizabeth Rossetti. My girlfriend.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Alex told her enthusiastically. “Eddie and Lorena have told us all about you.”

“It’s nice to meet you guys too. Rafael’s told me about you.”

“Don’t believe everything he says,” Yelina attempted to joke.

“So, what are you guys up to?” Alex asked to relieve some of the tension.

“Visited Abuelita then just having some lunch before we head back to her parents in Brooklyn.”

“Can you believe this place is still here? When we were in high school, me, Rafi, and Eddie were here almost every Friday night. He had went on and on about this place forever so Eddie and I finally gave in. Best burgers in all of New York.”

“Well, he was right,” Izzy agreed.

“Hey, that last bite was mine,” Rafael told his girlfriend with a smile as she scooped the last bit of ice cream from the bottom of the dessert glass they had been sharing.

“Sorry,” she shrugged with fake innocence.

“You’ll pay for that.”

“I’m really scared, Rafa.”

“So, how long have you two been together now?” Yelina asked, bringing attention back to her.

“It’ll be 2 years in February,” Rafael replied with an almost proud look on his face as he reached across the table to take his girlfriend’s hand in his.

“Is that a…are you two engaged?” Alex asked.

“Uh, engaged to be engaged is more like it. I’m gonna propose once the time is right. After college sometime. What about the two of you? You’ve been together as long as we have, well longer actually, any plans for the future?”

“Well, we, we haven’t really discussed anything,” Alex responded almost sheepishly while noticing a look from his girlfriend as if to say, “They have plans for the future and we don’t?”

“Oh, well, I’m sure you’ll get there,” Rafael smirked. “Hermosa are you ready?”

“Sure, Rafa.”

“Come on. It was nice to see you two.”

“Nice to see you, Rafi. We should get together before you head back to Harvard.”

“We’re going back to school two days after Christmas, Alex, but maybe.”

“It was nice to finally meet you, Izzy.”

“You as well, Alex. Yelina.”

Yelina watched as her ex and his new love walked out of the restaurant hand in hand. She could tell there was confidence in Rafael that hadn’t been there before. She knew that the things he wouldn’t do with her during their relationship he had in fact done with the pretty blond Rafael was with now.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asked his girlfriend.

“Nothing.”

“Are you jealous?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Alex,” she told him dismissively.

“You are.”

“How can they have plans for the future and we don’t?”

“You really think it’s gonna happen?”

“Please. Did you not see the way he looked at her? We both know Rafi doesn’t make plans like that unless he’s serious.”

“You wanted me, remember? You said you couldn’t wait around for him and…”

“I’m just saying, Alejandro, we could at least start…”

“We will, Yelina. I promise. Let’s just enjoy our lunch.”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________  
“This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers,” Izzy remarked to Erin as they had been moved to the bookstore after the beginning of their spring term.

“What’s wrong with you lately?”

“Nothing,” she told her roommate as she stacked a new set of sociology books on the shelf.

“You and Barba okay?”

“Yeah, we’re fine. Have you thought about what you’re gonna do after graduation next year?”

“Uh, a little. Is that what’s been bothering you?”

“I’m not sure if I want to be a teacher or what anymore.”

“Don’t let it stress you out. We still have three semesters to go.”

“You’re right. So, you’re staying with my brother tonight?”

“Yes, I am,” Erin replied in sing-song voice.

“You two seem to be going along swimmingly. Has Erin Lindsay turned to the dark side?”

“Never. It is nice to have someone that cares about me and that I care about equally but that whole ‘one true love’ thing…nah.”

“If you say so.”

“Bookstore, Erin Lindsay at your service,” Erin said as she answered the phone. “Oh my god, don’t you have a job, Barba? Hang on. Izz…”

“I’m coming. Hey, baby.”

“What are you wearing?”

“Rafa!” She laughed. “Are you that bored at the library?”

“You have no idea. How you and Erin worked here for two years, I’ll never know. So, your brother said Erin is coming to our room tonight and you know I don’t want to hear any of   
that.”

“Are you asking if you can come stay with me?”

“Didn’t think I had to ask.”

“Maybe I needed a night alone,” she teased.

“You mean that kind of night alone?”

“May…be.”

“You said I could watch. You could watch me again. We could watch each other.”

“I hope no one is around you.”

“Of course not. I’m not an idiot,” he laughed. “Don’t make me beg.”

“I like when you beg.”

“Please?”

“Hmmm, I’m not sure if that’s good enough.”

Erin laughed as she could only imagine what her roommate’s boyfriend was saying on the other end of the call.

“I can’t beg too loud, mi amor.”

“Well, okay. You can come stay with me.”

“Okay. I’ll see you around 10?”

“Sounds good. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“So, what do you two have planned?”

“Just going to watch…something.”

“What? Watch each other rub one out?”

“God, Erin, do you have to be so crude all the time?” Izzy laughed.

“That’s what it is, huh?” 

“Maybe.”

“You guys are 21-years-old and still act like those inexperienced 19-year-olds you were when you first got together.”

“Sex is supposed to be special. I mean he goes fast and hard sometimes…”

“You mean he fucks you.”

“Ugh, yeah. But when he takes his time…there’s something about it. You should try it sometime.”

“I know that can be really great, don’t get me wrong. Sometimes, though, you just need to have a real throw down. Tell him what to do to you. Let him spank you when he’s taking you from behind, grab your hair.”

“He’s pulled my hair plenty of times. When we’re making out, when I’m giving him a blow job. The other night, I was on top and he sat up to kiss me and we just kept going like that. He pulled my hair then and I swear it sped my orgasm up.”

“Uh-oh.”

“What?”

“You’re starting to let your inner freak come out.”

“Shut up.”  
___________________________________________________________________________  
She had thought about what Erin had said while they were at work on her way back to their dorm. Maybe it couldn’t hurt to step outside the box a little bit when it came to sex.  
Rafael showed up around 15 minutes after his girlfriend.

“Bout time you got here,” she told him as she practically forced her lips onto his.

“What has gotten into you?” He asked with a small laugh.

“I want you to bend me over on my bed and fuck me as hard as you can.”

“Wo-wow. Okay,” he said clearly taken back by his girlfriend’s sudden forcefulness.

“And I mean now.”

He immediately started taking his clothes off while she undressed herself and laid on the bed. “You’ve got to let me get you wet, cariño,” he whispered as he joined her.

“Use your fingers.”

He did what she told her, first one to start while his thumb made small circles on her clit, then a second one. She was getting very close and very fast. “Okay, stop,” she told him as she grabbed his hand.

“Everything okay?”

“Absolutely. I just need you inside of me.”

“Okay,” he smiled as he got a condom out of her nightstand. “On your knees,” he commanded, slightly.

“What?”

“I said, on…your…knees,” he repeated through clenched teeth.

Once she was in position, he slowly began to pump in and out of her. His hands gripped her ass while his movements got faster. 

“Faster, Papi,” she moaned, surprisingly them both. She had never called him that in bed or really any other time but he couldn’t deny that he liked it. He started liking the changing dynamic and a hand landed hard on her right ass cheek.

“God, Papi! Do it again.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, please.”

He did as she said and smacked the other side, leaving matching red marks on her ass. He reached his hand around to go back at her clit, rubbing it harder until she came, moaning his name the whole time. Her walls seem to stick to him causing his to come right behind her.

“Fuck…that was…hot,” he uttered between breaths.

“You…are not…kidding.”

Once they came down from the immense high they had just experienced, he leaned over and kissed her. “What made you call me ‘Papi’?”

“I have no idea. It just came out.”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Um…yeah?”

“I liked it.”

“I could tell,” she giggled. “I just thought we could change things up once in a while.”

“I am not complaining. I love what we do but there’s no harm…in experiencing new things, so to speak. I was thinking about trying something myself.”

“What’s that?”

“Maybe a little whipped cream…maybe some chocolate.”

“That could be…interesting.”


	17. Chapter 17

The one you warned me all about  
The one you said I could do without  
We're in an awful mess, and I don't mean maybe - please  
Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep  
Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep  
But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby, oh  
I'm gonna keep my baby…

“Are you trying to tell me something?” Rafael laughed as he found his girlfriend singing along to Madonna in the kitchen of his apartment he and Tony had just moved into after the end of their Junior year.

“Good morning, handsome.”

“Something smells good,” he told her as he wrapped his arms around her from behind and placed a kiss on her cheek.

“I got up this morning, went for a run, then went to the market and picked up stuff for omelets. Including a fresh mushroom just for yours.”

“You spoil me. I see you’ve made the coffee, too.”

“It just finished.”

“So, your brother and Erin are gone to Chicago for two weeks, it’s just me and you.”

“I know.”

“If last night is any indication, I’ll be sleeping in every day.”

“Are you complaining?”

“Fuck no,” he laughed. “That was amazing.”

“You sure you’re okay with me staying here over the summer?”

“Of course. I want to wake up to you and go to sleep with you every night as it is. Besides, we’ll probably end up living together after we graduate next year. Unless you go to grad   
school in New York.”

“And I might, you know that.”

“We’ll make it work,” he smiled. 

“Here, sit and eat your breakfast.”

“Yes, ma’am. So, what do you want to do today?”

“Since I’m going to be staying here this summer, we need to go get some groceries. Not beer, ramen, and frozen pizzas either,” she told him before he could interrupt her.

“Fine.”

“I like to cook and I’m going to.”

“You won’t hear any complaints out of me.”

“I’d hope not. I mean I’m the one with control of your ‘happy place’.”

“That’s just dirty pool,” he smirked. “You know I’ve never complained when you’ve cooked for me anyways.”

“Ew! You’re as bad as my brother,” she laughed when he stuck out his tongue with food on it.

“He’s rubbed off of on me over the last 3 years, unfortunately.”

“You don’t say.”

“I’m a guy. I’m allowed to be gross.”

“Oh really?”

“I have an appendage dangling between my legs that says so.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“And idiot you have had sex with 537 times.”

“You’ve kept count?! You’re an even bigger nerd than I thought.”

“A nerd you’ve done it with 537 times.”

All she could was laugh at her boyfriend of 2 ½ years.   
______________________________________________________________________  
“Can we get this?”

“No, Rafael. That is nothing but sugar.”

“Live a little, cariño. Besides, your mom always has a box of Golden Grahams just for you because your brother doesn’t like them.”

“How did…ugh, Tony.”

“Look, you’ve got your Diet Coke, stuff to make salads, fruit. Stop worrying so much. It’s okay to consume sugar and fat and all this stuff I can’t pronounce.”

“Fine put it in the cart. Remind me, when we have kids to never bring them shopping with me.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Look at the junk you put in here.”

“Hey, I need the carbs to keep up with you at night.”

“Shut up.”

“You know it’s true,” he smiled as he leaned over and kissed her. “I know what we need.”

“What’s that?”

He walked down the aisle and came back with a bottle of Hershey’s chocolate syrup.

“You’re serious?”

“Did I ever give you any indication that I was kidding?”

“Then you better get some Reddi-Whip, too.”

“Fat-free?”

“Nah. Get two cans though.”

“I’ll meet you in the dairy section,” he smirked as he walked off.  
_______________________________________________________________________________

“So, we come back from Chicago and you two are hauling ass for New York?” Tony laughed after he and Erin put their stuff in his room.

“We’re only gonna be gone a few days. You gonna miss me that much, roomie?”

“Smartass,” he muttered as he glared at Rafael. “What did you two do, just sit around and eat ice cream every day?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Chocolate syrup and a half a can of whipped cream? You could’ve left us some.”

Rafael and Izzy just looked at each other and tried not to laugh. Her brother was quick to notice, too.

“Oh, you guys are disgusting,” he said as he tossed the can in the trash can. “Why would you put that in here?”

“We didn’t want it to ruin. Am I gonna have to start labeling my food?”

“If it’s something you’re using on my sister, please.”

“Fine. We gotta go.”

“We’ll be back in a few days,” Izzy told them as they headed for the door.  
____________________________________________________________________________  
“How long are you two going to be home?”

“Just a few days, Ma. Give Erin and Tony a little space since they were at Hank’s for two weeks.”

“Okay.”

“So, Dad said something about his Captain retiring?”

“Yeah. Lenny is hanging up. Your dad will more than likely take his spot.”

“He deserves it.”

“Yes, he does. What are him and Rafael doing?”

“I think Dad was going to let him in on his ‘grilling secrets’.”

“Your father really likes him, Izz.”

“I do, too, Ma.”

“I mean he sees him as another son, basically.”

“Raf really looks up to Dad.”

“His dad really told him wasn’t going to be able to handle law school?”

“Yeah, right in front of me.”

“I don’t understand how Lucia puts up with him.”

“I think for the most part now, she just ignores him. He has no faith in his son what so ever. Part of me thinks he says that shit cause he knows he can’t push him around physically anymore or he’s scared to now that Raf is older and could fight back.”

“Don’t be surprise if that doesn’t happen one day. I watched your dad have enough of your grandfather when I was pregnant with you and your brother. Your grandfather never spoke ill of me, your uncles, or your grandmother after that, though.”

“Maybe it needs to,” Izzy shrugged as she looked out the kitchen window to see her dad and boyfriend laughing while drinking a couple of beers. She watched as Anthony playfully patted him on the shoulder before grabbing another two beers from the ice chest. “What was grandpa’s problem with you?”

“Honestly, Izzy, I have no idea. He just never liked me. My parents owned those two bakeries and he thought I was spoiled. We weren’t rich but we were comfortable as you know. Your dad and uncles all had jobs when they were 15 or 16 to help pay their bills because your grandfather couldn’t hold down a job and your grandmother was seamstress and didn’t make a lot. He was just a miserable man and wanted everyone else to be miserable, too.”

“That’s how Miguel is. He can’t stand that Raf made it out of the Bronx to Harvard. Mama you should the scars Rafael has from him.”

“Your dad is still shocked that the extent of the abuse went that far and when he was so young. No one deserves that.”

 

“So, when do you plan on replacing that ring on my daughters finger?”

“Am I on the clock?” Rafael laughed.

“No. I just want the two of you to be settled in your careers before grandkids start coming," Anthony laughed.

“Of course, Anthony. Maybe when I’m halfway through law school and she decides what she wants to do.”

“You know, when she was younger, I’d take her and Tony to the fire house. She’d get my helmet and some of my turn-out gear and proclaim she was gonna be a fireman.”

“Seriously?”

“If I’m not mistaken, her mother has a picture somewhere, she was maybe 7 or 8, and had everything on. Helmet, pants with the suspenders falling off of her, the coat, and my   
boots even. She was ready to fight fires.”

“She said she wants to do something that will make a difference. I told her teaching was a good way to do that.”

“It is. Stella has always loved it but Izzy, while she’s a lot like her mother, she’s also very different. She has a mind of her own.”

“Yeah she does.”

“I appreciate that you’ve never…pressured her into anything.”

“I never will,” Rafael replied with a small smile.

“Glad to hear it. So, things didn’t go so well at your parents yesterday?”

“No, it did not. I don’t what my dad’s problem is. Wait, yeah, I do. He’s an alcoholic prick.”

“I’ve told you about my dad.”

“You know, Anthony, I get really scared sometimes that I’m going to resort to violence with him one day and prove that I am every bit his son.”

“Be the bigger man, Rafael and walk away if you feel like that.”

“Yes, sir.”

“It’s hard, I know. But, if he ever lays a hand on you again, you let me know. I’ll handle it.”

“Okay.”

“How are those steaks coming?” Stella asked as she and Izzy joined them outside.

“Just about done, Stells. You did buy a gallon of sour cream for our daughter, right?”

“Dad.”

“Rafael have you seen her eat a baked potato.”

“Yes, and the way she acts about other foods…it blows my mind how much sour cream she uses.”

“It’s my one so-called vice.”

“Please. Baby girl you used to get a spoon, sit on the table, and eat it directly from the container.”

“She still does that,” Rafael told them. “She just doesn’t sit on the table.”

“There was a little bit in the container after I made tacos for all of us before Tony and Erin went to Chicago and it wasn’t enough to save but I didn’t want to waste it either.”

“Honey I stood and watched you take three spoonful’s out of it before tossing the empty container.”

“Hush.”   
___________________________________________________________________________  
“You have to be quiet, mi amor,” Rafael whispered as they made love in her childhood room.

“I’m trying,” she panted quietly.

“Not…enough.”

“Kiss me.”

“That doesn’t help.”

Just then there was a knock on her door.

“Shit. Yeah?”

“Izz I know you’re 21 now but do you think you two could keep it down?”

“Uh…sorry, Ma.”

She could hear her mother laugh from the other side of the door.

“I told you,” Rafael playfully scolded while still inside of her. “Third time I’ve wanted to die in this room.”

“Wha-you’re not gonna finish?”

“You honestly think I can after that?”

“I guess not.”

“Do you really think she heard us?”

“No. She’s screwing with us. I know my mother.”

“You finish me and I’ll finish you?”

“Or…”

“We can finish ourselves while the other watches?”

“I find it fun, don’t you?” 

“Yeah, actually, I do,” he smirked as he pushed the covers down.


	18. Chapter 18

“So, Hank is okay with you living with my brother?”

“He likes Tony and he likes you. He just wants me to be happy,” Erin told her roommate as they started closing the bookstore after they began their Senior year in 1996. “What about your parents?”

“Please. They saw this coming a mile away,” Izzy laughed.

“Beats having to share a twin bed with these guys.”

“You don’t have to tell me. I love to cuddle with Rafael but I do like my space when I’m sleeping.”

“I heard that. You want to go grab something eat before we get home?”

“I think I’m gonna go work out.”

“We worked out this morning.”

“I know but I feel like I could run another mile.”

“Oh…okay. Well, if I don’t see you, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Bye, Erin.”

Erin walked into the apartment the four of them were sharing to find her boyfriend and Rafael studying in the living room.

“Hey, sweetie,” Tony smiled as he greeted her.

“Hey.”

“Where’s Izz?”

“She said she was going to work-out, Barba.”

“I thought you two went this morning.”

“Yeah, we did but she said she felt like she could do some more.”

“I see. What did she eat today, do you know?”

“She had a salad before we went to work.”

“Okay.”

“She’s always liked to work out and ate healthy, Barba, you know that.”

“Yeah, I know, Tony but it seems like since school’s started, she’s going a little overboard.”

“Probably just the stress of Senior year.”

“You’re probably right. Okay, where were we?”

“I was going to heat up some leftover Chinese,” Erin laughed.

“Bring me an eggroll if there’s any left.”

“I’m saving those for your sister, Tony.”

“Never mind, Erin.”

“Come on, man. I’d like to go to bed tonight.”

Izzy came in about an hour later with a bottle of water, still in her work out clothes. She and Rafael had the private bathroom in their room so she headed in their to get in the shower. She quietly opened their bedroom door only to find him reading Tom Wolfe’s "The Purple Decades".

“I thought you’d be asleep.”

“I was waiting on you,” he smiled. “You went and worked out again?”

“Yeah. Just felt like I had a little pent up energy I just needed to get rid of.”

“Okay, well, there’s some leftover Kung Poa Chicken in the fridge for you and couple of eggrolls.”

“Thanks.”

“You want me to fix you a plate?”

“Yeah but just not very much.”

“What does that mean exactly?”

“Just a little bit of rice and the chicken. Maybe a tablespoon of each.”

“You want me to measure the amount of food I put on your plate?”

“You know what I mean, baby.”

“Okay,” he relented. “Take a shower and I’ll get you something to eat.”

“Thank you,” she smiled before taking a quick shower and throwing on one his Harvard t-shirts. Sure, she had her own but she liked his since they were a little longer on her.  
He brought her plate and a diet coke in the room so she could eat. She sort of pushed it around as she took small bites. She didn’t even touch the eggroll he wouldn’t let Tony have.  
___________________________________________________________________________________  
Rafael had sat and watched his girlfriend work out more than she ever did. She was surviving on the littlest portions of food and power bars. Yeah, she had always taken care of herself but it seemed to be getting worse and worse in a way. Even for their birthdays, they were only three days apart, she refused the cupcakes Erin had bought.  
“Mi amor what’s going on with you?”

“What are you talking about, Raf?”

“Since school started, you’re not eating, you work out constantly…”

“I eat.”

“I have sat and watched you refuse your favorite foods. I’ve never seen you step on the scale as much as you have been. I am worried about you.”

“It’s just stress. You’re looking too much into this.”

“I don’t think I am.”

“Well, that’s your opinion I suppose. I gotta go or I’ll be late for class.”

“I love you.”

“Love you, too, Rafa.”

He waited for her to leave and went to find his roommate.

“You really think this is more than just stress, Barba?”

“I do, Tony. I was at work the other night so I went to the Psychology section and grabbed a couple of books on eating disorders.”

“What did you find?”

“There was this one book, talked about athletes and how they will push themselves, count calories, basically to give themselves control over their body. Not a lot of research has been put into this but it makes sense with your sister.”

“You know, now that I think about it…she started getting into all this when we were like 13 or 14. Huh.”

“What?”

“Our Aunt Donna’s daughters, Mia and Julianna. You’ve seen pictures of my sister when she was younger.”

“Yeah?”

“She held onto a lot of her baby fat for a few years and she was a ‘late bloomer’. They constantly made fun of her.”

“Wow.”

“She never told you that?”

“She’s only told me that she can’t stand them.”

“That's why. They were awful to her when we were growing up."

 

A day or two later of watching his girlfriend eat like a bird, Rafael reached his breaking point as they ate alone at the table. “Okay, that’s it. This has to stop.”

“What?”

“I’m not going to sit here and continue to watch you torture yourself like this.”

“What do you mean?”

“Baby it’s fine to work out and eat right but you are restricting yourself too much. This is not healthy, mentally or physically.”

“I…I just like to stay in shape,” she replied quietly as a tear fell from her cheek.

“And that’s fine, mi amor, but there’s a limit. You’ve been doing all of this because of comments made when you were a kid and for what? You’re perfect.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You are to me. Look, if you don’t want to do this for yourself, then do it for me, for our future children. You’re going to have to be healthy to carry them. Not in shape, healthy. There’s a difference.”

“I don’t know how to stop,” she sniffled.

“I’ll help you. There’s counseling on campus. I don’t want you to stop because I know you do like to work out. You just need a healthy balance.”

“Okay.”

“I love you and I want you here for a long time,” he said with a small smile and tears in his eyes.

“I love you, too.”

“You want to try and eat a little more?”

She nodded as he picked up her plate and went to the kitchen to get her some more of the Indian food they had ordered.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
“Raf are you sick again?”

“I’m fine, baby,” he told her while he laid his head on the toilet.

“You’ve been sick for two days now. This is more than a stomach virus.”

“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry so much.”

“You are burning up. Come on, get dressed.”

“I don’t need to go to the doctor.”

“You’re going to the emergency room and you’re not arguing with me.”

“Fine,” he groaned as he peeled himself off the bathroom floor. He held the right side of his abdomen as he got up.

“Are you still hurting?”

“It keeps getting worse,” he admitted.

“Let me tell Tony and Erin we’re leaving.”

 

They got to the nearest hospital and he was taken back for a few tests. He kept getting sick and complaining of pain.

“Looks like appendicitis,” the doctor told them when he came back.

“What?”

“We’re gonna have to get his appendix out and soon before it burst.”

“I don’t have insurance.”

“Don’t worry about that right now, babe.”

“I can’t afford to have surgery.”

“You have to have it.”

“Your wife is right, Mr. Barba.”

“She’s not my wife...yet,” he replied with a very small smile. 

“Oh, well, in any case, she’s right. This really has to be done,” the doctor told him, with a pleasant look. 

“Jesus.”

“Rafa come on.”

“Okay.”

“There’s a few forms I’ll need you to sign, of course.”

“Terrific,” he scoffed as he rolled his eyes.

“The nurse will be right in.”

“I’m gonna go make a few phone calls, okay?”

“I don’t think I’m going anywhere," he pouted.

“I’ll be back. I love you.”

“Love you. Hey?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for making me come.”

“Of course.”

The first call she made was to his parents. She hated calling them at 12 in the morning but they needed to know. She was praying Lucia would answer the phone but that prayer went unanswered when Miguel picked up. She told him what was going on and he just told her he’d tell Lucia and that was it.

“Ahem, hello?”

“Daddy?”

“Izz what’s wrong? Why are you calling me at 12 in the morning?”

“It’s Rafael. He’s having to have surgery.”

“What happened?”

“Appendicitis.”

“Did you call his parents?”

“Miguel basically blew me off. Maybe it didn’t register in his head.”

“What hospital are you at?”

She told him which one they were at and he told her to go be with Rafael.

They had given him something for the pain and to relax him while he waited to be prepped.

“I’m gonna be right here when you get out,” she told him once they were told it was time.

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“We’ll take good care of him, Miss Rossetti,” one of the nurses told her.

She went and sat in the cold waiting room alone. 

“Izz?”

“Mom, Dad what are you guys doing here?”

“What do you think? How is he?”

“In recovery, Dad. They should be moving him to a room in about 15 minutes.” 

“Good.”

“Have you called Lucia?”

“No. I thought she'd be here.”

“I’ll call her in a few hours,” Stella told her.

“He was more worried about he was going to pay for this.”

“He’s not going to worry about that,” her dad told her.

They were told they could go see him. He was still sort of drugged when Izzy walked in but he still managed a smile for her.

“You’re all better now,” she told him as she brushed his hair off his forehead.

“Thanks to you.”

“There’s a couple of people here that drove in the middle of the night to see you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

She went to the door at let her parents in.

“How are you feeling, killer?”

“Like crap, Anthony, but not as bad as I was,” he laughed quietly. “Did you call my parents?”

“Uh, yeah, I did,” his girlfriend told him but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him how short his father was with her.

“Oh. Okay.”

“I don’t want you to worry about how you’re going to pay for this, son.”

“Thank you, Anthony,” he said as he started to tear up.

“Izz why don’t we go get some coffee?” Her mother offered.

“Uh, sure. We’ll be back, Raf.”

“O-okay.”

“You okay?”

“I’m fine, Anthony.”

“You know you can’t lie to me.”

“It’s just…you…you and Stella drove all this way for me and my own parents couldn’t be bothered,” he told him as he let the tears fall.

“Shhh. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. They should be here, offering to pay for this, not my girlfriend’s parents.”

“You’re gonna be my son-in-law one day so I consider it a good investment,” Anthony chuckled which made Rafael kind of laugh, too. Well as much as he could.  
__________________________________________________________  
“Rafi?”

“Mami? Abuelita what are you two doing here?”

“Stella called to tell me you had made it out of surgery. I didn’t even know you were having surgery.”

“I called Miguel.”

“And all he told Lucia was this boy was sick. Didn’t mention he was being cut open,” Lina told Izzy, obviously still quite unhappy with her son-in-law.

“Thank you for taking care of him,” Lucia told Izzy.

“Of course.”

“I wasn’t too sure about you two living together so soon but I’m actually glad you are. He would’ve never went to the doctor on his own.”

“She wasn’t going to give up, Mami.”

“Good,” Lucia laughed. 

“So, Dad didn’t come?”

“I don’t think he wanted to be in the car with us after your grandmother gave him a piece of her mind. I would’ve been here so much sooner if I had known, baby.”

“I know, Mami.”  
___________________________________________________________________________________  
“Well, Rafael. Everything looks good. I think two days in here was plenty for you,” the doctor said as he came in to prepare to discharge him. Lucia and Lina had stayed the first night he was in the hospital so Tony and Izzy could go talk to his Professor’s about their upcoming finals. The doctor explained that his recovery time would be anywhere from 2 to 4 weeks and going home for Christmas would not be a wise decision.

“Do you have any other questions for me?”

“Yeah, when can I have sex again?” He was either still high from the pain meds or just completely forgot his girlfriend’s dad was sitting in the other chair in the room.

“Good god,” Anthony chuckled.

“Sorry, Anthony,” he said with a look of slight embarrassment.

“You get that one for free since you just got cut open.”

“Do you want to leave the room before I answer, Mr. Rossetti?”

“It’s already out there so it’s not like it matters.”

“I’d say at least 2 weeks.” Rafael’s face just kind of dropped, making Anthony laugh even more.

“Okay.”

“The nurse will be in here soon with your discharge papers and prescriptions.”

“Thank you.”

“Yes, thank you for taking good care of my future son-in-law.”

“That’s why I do this, to take care of people. If you have any problems, please feel free to call my office, Rafael.”

“I will.”

“I will see you in a few weeks to check your incision.”

“Okay.”

“Well, my daughter should be getting here in a few minutes.”

“Yeah. Sorry again about…”

“It’s fine, Rafael. I’m not so out of touch that I don’t know you and my daughter…do that. You live together after all.”

“True. Thank you again for coming and for paying…”

“What did I tell you? Of course, that’s coming out of your girlfriend’s wedding fund,” Anthony teased.

“Well, you’ll have to reel her in when she starts planning.”

“Here. I got you something.”

“What’s this?”

“You know how to read, son,” Anthony snickered.

“Blue Cross/Blue Shield? You…you got me insurance?”

“Your mom gave me your social security number and I made a few calls. Now, if you get sick again, the cost will be the last thing on your mind.”

“Anthony this is…you have…” next thing he knew, the usually “under emotional” Rafael Barba was a complete mess. No one it seemed had looked out for him, other than his grandparents, his mother when she could, and Eddie during his life.

“Hey, none of that, Rafael. I’m doing this because I love you and my daughter loves you.”

“Okay,” he nodded as he wiped his eyes as he started to get off the bed.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey. You got to tell me you love me back, otherwise I look like an idiot,” Anthony chuckled as he hugged him.

“I love you, too, Anthony.”

“That’s my boy.”

“I’m here,” Izzy announced as she came in the room. “Everything okay?”

“It’s fine, Princess. Get your man home and make sure he gets plenty of rest. Oh, and he can’t have sex for at least two weeks.”

“Wha-what?”

“That’s what the doctor told him when he asked.”

“You actually asked that?”

“I wanted to know,” he shrugged as he sat in the wheelchair the CNA had brought in for him.

“Come on, kids.”

“Thank you for everything, Dad.”

“Of course,” he smiled as his daughter hugged his neck.

“I hope you won’t be too mad that I’m not coming home for Christmas.”

“Mi amor no…” Rafael said as he took her hand while he was being wheeled out.

“I’m not leaving you here alone.”

“Rafael it’ll be fine. We can send your presents home with Tony. Let her take care of you.”

“Okay.”


	19. Chapter 19

Rafael was able to take his finals and that was all. He knew the material like the back of his hand though so he wasn’t worried but his Professors had been very understanding due to his surgery.

“You took your last final so I want you back in bed. I will bring you your medicine and something to eat.”

“Baby…”

“What, Raf?”

“Just…thank you.”

“Of course. Now go get comfortable.”

“You’re not missing any therapy because of me, are you?”

“No. I’m okay. I did tell my personal trainer that I wouldn’t be working out while you recover.”

“As long as you’re not neglecting yourself.”

“I’m doing fine. I promise. I’m getting better for our future kids after all.”

“I can’t wait to marry you one day,” he smiled before he kissed her.

“And I can’t wait to marry you. Now, scoot!”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“What do you want to watch, baby?” She asked when she brought him his meds and food.

“It’s up to you.”

“No. Come on.”

“Everything is in re-runs. Just pop in a movie.”

“How about…'Clerks'?”

“Sounds good, cariño.”

After they ate the meal she had cooked, with Izzy eating a decent portion herself, she cuddled up to her boyfriend as they watched Kevin Smith’s first movie.

“You know, I remember saying that same thing to Erin in the book store one night,” Izzy laughed when Randal said, “This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers.”

“I believe that,” Rafael laughed. "The library is boring but it was the same questions over and over and over again in the bookstore."

It wasn’t long before he was asleep due to the Vicodin he had been given. Izzy turned the TV back to channel 3 and turned on Nick at Nite.  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
“Hey, sis. We’re heading out,” Tony told her a couple of days before Christmas.

“Okay. You guys be careful.”

“Ma said that Lucia is going to bring your and Rafael’s stuff to the house and I’ll meet you at Logan with it the day after Christmas when Erin and I go to Chicago.”

“Sounds good. Just page me 1027 when you get to the airport.”

“I’ll do it. You two…have fun.”

“Shut up, Tony.”

“Leave them alone,” Erin playfully scolded her boyfriend. “I love you,” she said as she hugged her best friend.

“Love you, too. Be careful.”

“We will. Take care of your man so we can start going back out.”

“He’s still got a couple of more weeks. See you guys in a few days.”

Tony and Erin said “bye” one more time before they headed to New York.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Rafa.”

“Did your brother and Erin leave?”

“Yeah. How are you feeling?”

“Okay. I’m almost done with my antibiotics, right?”

“Yes, you are. Today is the last day.”

“Good.”

“You feel like breakfast?”

“Of course. Why don’t we go out this morning?”

“Are you sure?”

“Mi amor you don’t have to keep treating like I’m helpless,” he laughed.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s been nice having you taking care of me but I am able to get out and do some stuff.”

“Well, okay. I’ll go get changed.”  
_____________________________________________________________________  
They laid in their bed, watching TV while on Christmas break. Tony and Erin were in Chicago, leaving them alone. They hadn’t had sex since before his surgery and it was getting to both of them. Not in a bad way, they just wanted each other in that way.

“Ow,” he let out as they were making out, with him on top.

“Too much pressure?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s fine, Rafa.”

“You know…I have an idea.”

“What’s that?”

“Maybe we can’t have sex but perhaps I can pleasure you.”

“But Rafa…”

“You’ve been taking care of me all this time. Maybe I should…show you how much I appreciate it.”

“Um…okay? How?”

“You could…sit up here,” he told her as he patted his shoulders.

“Really?”

“Why not,” he shrugged.

“Well, okay.”

He laid against his pillow as his girlfriend took off her panties and placed herself right above her boyfriend’s face. He placed his hands on her ass and lowered her down just enough. His tongue went right at her clit and it drove her insane. She couldn’t help but grab his almost black hair while he went at her like a man that hadn’t had a meal in weeks. He got not one, not two, not three, but four orgasms all over his face that night but he didn’t care. He was making his girlfriend feel good and it was the least he could do for her, he thought. Not that he had given her any problems. He was a very good patient to say the least. He just loved the way she doted on him. Not in a “bad” way though. She took care of him while he was sick and recovering, that was more intimate than sex in his mind. 

His mother had been right, of course. If it hadn’t been for Izzy, he would’ve never went to the doctor. He could’ve ended up septic and then dead. He was more than grateful for his girlfriend of almost 3 years.  
_________________________________________________________________________  
“Oh god. Oh, yeah, baby,” Rafael moaned as his girlfriend rode him hard and fast one night in 1997. His hands were plastered to her tits as she bounced up and down. “God…damn…just like that, mi amor.”

They ended up coming at the same time. She held him tight as they came down with a mixture of “oh’s” and “ah’s” coming from both of them.

“You are fucking amazing, baby,” he told her as he leaned up to kiss her.

“You make me that way,” Izzy told Rafael as she slowly climbed off of him.

“You make me…horny as hell.”

“Rafa!”

“It’s the truth.”

“Stop.”

“Are you two done?” They heard Erin yell from the living room. “Your brother is waiting to come back in here!”

“Why did I pick the bedroom right outside of the living room,” Rafael laughed.

“Good question.”

“I think I did that because of my girlfriend.”

“Really?”

“Maybe. I mean I do have the private bathroom.”

“Hello?!”

“We’re done, Erin!” Izzy yelled back at her.

“What are we going to do when we graduate?”

“Well, you got your scholarship to law school here,” Izzy chuckled as she played with the crucifix around her boyfriend’s neck.

“What about you, bebita?”

“I don’t know,” Izzy shrugged. “I’ve actually been thinking about…never mind.”

“What? You can tell me, cariño.”

“What would you think about me joining the police academy?”

“Are you serious? You’re gonna have a degree from Harvard and you’re thinking of joining the NYPD?”

“Just something I’m thinking about. It’s not in stone yet.”

“I think you would be an amazing teacher, mi amor.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Listen, I love you and whatever you want to do, I’ll always be here.”

“Thank you.”

Instead of joining their “roommates”, they snuggled up and fell asleep. Izzy loved Rafael more than anyone and he felt the same way. Their breathing was always in sync when they laid together.  
___________________________________________________________________  
“I thought the guys were supposed to do laundry this week?” Erin groaned as she and Izzy sat in the laundry room of their complex.

“No, they have the bathrooms and bedrooms.”

“Like you and Barba are so messy.”

“It’s easier to find things when they’re put away.”

“So, everything okay with…you know?”

“Yeah, it is, Erin. My work-outs have been cut to three times a week, which you know. I mean, I’m still eating halfway decent but it’s nice not to let that have so much control over me anymore.”

“Good. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Barba so worried.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“You guys had a rough couple of months.”

“But we got through it.”

“Jesus Christ why can’t your brother seem to wipe properly. Blech!!”

“He’s a disgusting pig. Always has been. Better than you than me,” Izzy laughed.

“I’m not even touching these. They are going in the fucking trash. I gotta find…ah…there’s a hanger. Thank god. This is like a biohazard. I need one of those red bags.”

“Oh, skidmark. He’s always had a way with the ladies.”

“I am gonna buy some fucking baby wipes so he can clean himself. Why are you laughing so hard?”

“I’m not,” Izzy lied.

“Like you haven’t come across…”

“I don’t examine my boyfriend’s boxers that well but considering how he is about cleanliness, I don’t think that’s a problem.”

“Well, the least your brother could do is hide those from me and do them himself when they do laundry. So, your grandparents anniversary is during Spring break?”

“Yeah. My aunt and uncle and cousins are coming in from Rochester. My cousins and their 15 kids.”

“Oh, this is gonna be fun.”  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
“I didn’t think you two were coming home for Spring break,” Lina laughed when she opened the door to find her grandson and his girlfriend.

“Come on, Abuelita,” Rafael laughed as he hugged his beloved grandmother.

“Elizabeth Michelle. Have you lost weight?”

“No, Abuelita. I’ve actually gained.”

“You could’ve fooled me. Well come on,” she giggled as she motioned for them to come inside her apartment. 

The two of them walked into his Abuelita’s apartment as she insisted on feeding them.

“Mama?” They heard Lucia call as she came in. “There’s my baby.”

“Hola, Mami,” Rafael smiled as he hugged his mother. 

“Hola, mijo. ¿Te quedas en Brooklyn durante las vacaciones de primavera (Are you staying in Brooklyn during Spring break)?”

“Sí, mami. Espero que esté bien (Yes, mommy. I hope that's okay).”

“Claro que sí, mijo,” Lucia smiled. “Estamos siendo groseros hablando español delante de tu novia (Of course it is. We're being rude speaking Spanish in front of your girlfriend).”

“No, está bien, Lucia,” Izzy responded, surprising Lucia and Lina both.

“Lo siento, Izzy. No sabía…”

“Está bien, Lucia. Sólo recuerdo lo que aprendí después de 3 años de bachillerato español (It's fine, Lucia. I just remember what I learned after 3 years of high school Spanish).”

“La amo más que antes (I love her more than I did before),” Lucia told her son with a laugh.

The four of them sat as they ate the lunch Lina and fixed for them. “So, graduation is coming up. Izzy are you going to stay in Cambridge?”

“I think I’m gonna come home actually.”

“Well, you two can see each other on weekends and holidays at least.”

“We have that planned,” Rafael told his mother. “So…where’s Dad?”

“Working I assume.”

“He’s still maintaining that Izzy didn’t tell him I was having surgery?”

“Rafi he was drunk. He doesn’t remember what she said. I know better though,” his mother assured him.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________  
“Hey, pudge,” Mia said to her cousin as they stood in Anthony and Stella’s backyard.

“Cruella,” Izzy replied.

“Where’s this boyfriend I’ve heard sooooo much about over the years from Nonna and Aunt Stella?”

“Over there with Tony and his girlfriend. Where’s your husband and 7 kids?”

“I only have 4, Izzy.”

“4, 400 what’s the difference?”

“Hey, cariño.”

“Hey, Raf. Rafael this is my cousin, Mia.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you, Rafael.”

“That’s funny. I haven’t heard much about you,” Rafael snarked. 

“Oh, you have to ignore Pudge. We were best friends until my mom and dad moved us to Rochester. She never got over that I left here to take care of herself.”

“I did just fine without you, Mia. I promise.”

“Hey, baby. Why don’t you join me and your brother and Erin?”

“I’d love to,” she told her boyfriend as they walked off.

“So, that was one of them that used to make fun of you.”

“Yeah. Gave me such a lovely nickname, don’t you think?”

“I normally wouldn’t say something like this, but I think Karma bit her and her sister in the ass.”

“Yeah, they never lost their baby weight.”

“You want to go upstairs and…”

“Later,” she giggled.


	20. Chapter 20

Graduation came in 1997. Erin had her Bachelor’s in History, Izzy with hers in Psychology, and the guys in Political Science. They had both been accepted into Harvard Law’s class of 2000. Erin and Tony were unsure of which direction they’re relationship was going to go. 

“I mean, I love her, Rafi, I really do but I know she wants to go back to Chicago.”

“Have you guys thought about trying to make it work?”

“We’ve talked about it. Chicago is a lot farther away than New York.”

“I know but you could always give it a shot,” Rafael told his roommate, trying to help him the best way he knew how. Honestly, his only attempt at a long distance relationship ended in heartbreak so he didn’t know what kind of advice he could give.   
_____________________________________________________  
“You’re really joining the police academy?”

“Yes, I am, Rafa.”

“Okay,” he remarked skeptically.

“What?”

“I thought you were gonna go to Grad school and get your Master’s.”

“I changed my mind. I just…I want to do something that makes a difference.”

“What did your parents say?”

“Go downstairs and ask them,” she said as she stuck her tongue out at him.

“Okay. If that’s what you want to do…I’m behind you 100%.”

“Really?”

“Of course, bebita,” he smiled as he leaned against the desk in her room in Bensonhurst. “I want you to do something that will make you happy.”

“Thank you.”

“Just give me something else to worry about while I’m in law school.”

“Raf if you don’t want me…”

“I’m kidding. Sure, I’ll worry about you but like I said, you have my complete support.”

“I’m glad. That means everything to me.”

“You know I will always be in your corner. Come on. We’re gonna be late for dinner with my parents,” he said as he took her hand.  
________________________________________________________________________  
“I can’t believe you are going to Harvard Law School next month,” Lucia gushed. “I am so proud of you, mijo.”

“Maybe I’ll be mayor of New York someday, huh?”

“You are going to be an amazing prosecutor, you know that.”

“Yeah, I suppose,” Rafael replied quietly.

“So, Izzy, Rafael tells us that you are joining the police academy?”

“Yeah, I am, Lucia. If all goes well I should be able to be in the class that starts in January (98).”

“How exciting. You two will be quite the couple once he finishes law school and passes the bar.”

“Yeah, we will,” Izzy giggled as she looked at her boyfriend, who was just pushing his food around on his plate.

“Rafi are you not hungry?”

“My eyes were bigger than my stomach, Mami,” he lied. Truth was, Lucia had made the remark when he was 7 that Alex would be mayor of New York someday but she never said about her own son and it hurt.

Izzy had helped Lucia clear the table and insisted she would do the dishes since Lucia had cooked such a wonderful meal. Her future mother in law adored her for that.

“You got everything taken care of in here?”

“I do, Miguel, thanks.”

“You know, my son has come a long way.”

“He really has.”

“He doesn’t need any distractions while he’s working on his law degree.”

“I’m gonna be here in New York. I’ll go see him when I can but…”

“He doesn’t need any extra worries. You get what I’m saying?”

She closed the dishwasher and turned the knob as she looked at Miguel. She knew what he meant. “Yeah…I think I do.”

“I know you love him and he loves you. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. Right?”

“Sure.”

“Hey, mi amor. Are you almost finished?” 

“Just did,” she said as she kind of shrugged.

“You want to get back to Brooklyn?”

“Um, yeah.”

“Well, bye, Dad,” he told his father.

They said goodbye to Lucia after they thanked her for dinner. Anthony had surprised his twins with new cars for their college graduation so they walked to her silver 1997 Camaro. They both had thought they were in trouble when they drove home before graduation and had to take the train home.

“You okay?” Rafael asked his girlfriend when she didn’t want to listen to the Jewel CD he had bought her a few weeks before.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Okay.”  
__________________________________________________________________________  
“You can’t be serious, Izz.”

“Raf you don’t need to be worrying about me while you’re in law school.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she told him as they both cried. “I just…your mind is going to be down there when it needs to be up here.”

“But…yeah, I’m gonna think about you but your parents said that the phone bill…”

“It’s not about that, Rafael. I’m joining the police academy after the first of the year and I’ll graduate. You’ll be worrying about me too much. I don’t want you to be distracted.”

“Is there someone else?”

“Of course not, Rafael. I love you. You are going to do great in law school, it’s just gonna have to be without me. That’s how much I love you. I won’t stand in the way of you achieving everything you have planned.”

“You’re in those plans.”

“You believe we’re meant to be together, right?”

“You know I do.”

“Then we’ll just have to let the universe do its thing.”

“Izz you can’t…”

“Do you know how much I’ve cried over this? I don’t…I don’t see any other way,” she cried as she started to take off her ring.

“No. I don’t want that. I bought that for you.”

“I can’t keep this now.”

“You have to.”

They both sat on the bed they had shared during their Senior year of college. Neither of them had any words, just tears. He had such a tight grip on her hand, it was obvious he didn’t want to let her go. 

An hour after packing her clothes, she started home to New York. The normally 4 hour drive took her at least 6 because she would have to pull off due to the crying. Tony had apparently called his parents because they were waiting for their daughter when she got home.  
Anthony didn’t say anything as he hugged his daughter while she cried.

“Why don’t you go take a bath and get some rest?” Stella asked with a small smile.

“Okay.”  
___________________________________________________________________________________  
It had been two weeks, Izzy had been busy with her physical exam for the academy and other things so she would be ready in January (98).  
Her disorder had reared it’s ugly head again, too. Stella would try to get her to eat but it was just the tiniest amount, followed by a run, or a round at the boxing gym not far from their house.

“Izzy come on, you’re gonna beat the hell out of that bag,” Antonio told her.

“I’m fine, Dawson.”

“No, you’re not. It’s been two weeks. Pick up the damn phone or get in your car and go to Harvard.”

“Dawson you couldn’t possibly understand.”

“Laura and I are making it work until I move to Chicago permanently in December.”

“It’s not about making it work. It’s about me being in the way of his success.”

“You’re just as hard headed as you’ve always been. He wants you by his side when achieves everything.”

“I came her to work-out, not discuss my ex.”

“Fine. Keep making yourself miserable.”

“Dawson…”

“Look, all I’m saying is get your head out of your ass before it’s too late.”  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
“Hey, baby,” Anthony greeted his daughter when she walked in.

“Hey. Where’s Mom?”

“Still at work.”

“Oh, yeah. I forget school’s back in session.”

“Where have you been today?”

“The gym on 81st.”

“You’ve been working out a little much lately, don’t you think?”

“Just trying to stay in shape before I join the academy.”

“I understand that but the last two weeks, it’s been every day. Didn’t your nutritionist and personal trainer tell you three days a week was enough?”

“I know but it’s not like I’m doing it twice a day.”

“I want you to take care of yourself. Rafael would, too.”

“Pop…”

“I know the two of you are miserable.”

“We’ll get over it eventually,” she said as her brown eyes filled with tears.

“You don’t ‘get over’ the person you’re meant to be with.”

“Dad…I just…I can’t be in his way.”

“Did he say anything to make you feel like you would be?”

“No.”

“Then why would you ever think…”

“Dad can I go to my room, please?”

“Okay.”

Anthony had called a few times and every time he spoke to Rafael, he could tell his son’s roommate was on the verge of tears. While he had bought the twins new cars for graduation, his gift to Rafael was paying off the $3,000 engagement ring he had been paying on for almost two years at that point. Now, that ring sat in a drawer in Rafael’s bedroom, no one knowing if it would ever be given for its intended purpose.   
_________________________________________________________________________________________  
It had been a little over a month since she and Rafael broke up and Izzy felt so alone. Sure, she was home in her old neighborhood. A lot of her friends from high school were still around, including Antonio.

“Hey. Yo, Izzy Rossetti!”

“Huh? Sorry, Antonio,” she told him while they sat having drinks at her uncle’s bar.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you talked to him?”

“No.”

“Why don’t you call him?”

“He can’t have me in the way, Dawson.”

“Why did you think you’d be in the way? He loves you.”

“He is going to be District Attorney one day.”

“And?”

“And…he won’t achieve that if he’s worrying about me.”

“He managed to get through college being with you. You weren’t joined at the hip then, I’m sure.”

“We’re so many hours apart. I just…”

“How long have I known you, Rossetti?”

“Too long,” she scoffed.

“Yeah and I know that you love him more than anything. I didn’t have to be around you two an hour to know that you were soulmates.”

“If that’s true then…”

“Stop with this ‘universe’ bullshit.”

“You know what, Dawson. I think I’ve had enough.”

“I didn’t mean to piss you off but I don’t like seeing you in pain. We’ve always been friends, right?”

“Yeah.”

“You love him. Go to him.”

“I have my written test at the academy in the morning. I need to go.”

“Okay. Remember what I said.”

“I got it, Dawson,” she told him as she set some money on the table before leaving.   
________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
“Can you tell me just what in the hell you are doing?” Tony asked as he busted in his sister’s room one weekend in October 1997.

“Tony! What the hell?! Why are you home?”

“I took the very first train this morning. You need to fix this.”

“Tony…”

“Sis…he can’t eat, he can’t sleep. He got a ‘D’ in our Torts class and the Professor let everyone know in the class. He was humiliated and he didn’t care. That’s not Barba and you know that.”

“I can’t…”

“Do you still love him?”

“Tony…”

“Answer me. Do you still love him?”

“Of course, I do.”

“Then tell him. You said you didn’t want to be a distraction. You and I both know that he’d be doing a lot better if you were in his life.”

“I just can’t get in the way of him…”

“Stop. He held a 4.0 all through college while you were together. Hell, we all lived together for a year. Yeah, he’s gonna worry about you. He’s supposed to because he wants to marry you. That doesn’t mean he’s gonna abandon his school work.”

She knew her brother was right. He would never do that. It didn’t matter how far apart they were, he could balance it all. He was Rafael Barba, the master of multi-tasking.

“Let me get dressed. Why did you take the train?”

“I was too mad to drive, honestly. We went out last night, three drinks and he was a blubbering mess. If I drove here, I would’ve gotten multiple tickets.”

“You’re in law school. Couldn’t you have talked your way out of them?”

“I’m two months in, Izz. Come on.”

“Thanks, Tony,” she told her brother for somewhat knocking some sense into her.

“I can’t stand seeing either of you miserable. I’m miserable enough for all of us. At least Erin and I weren’t as serious as you two.”

“You never know what could happen.”

“Maybe. You got plenty of gas?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, hurry up. I’ll meet you downstairs.”  
_________________________________________________________________________________  
Izzy had been stopped twice on their way back to Cambridge but was able to talk her way out of the tickets.

“You go up there first,” Tony told his sister.

“Is he alone?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Okay,” she said as she got out of her car. She nervously walked up the stairs to the apartment she once shared with her boyfriend, brother, and best friend. She stood outside debating on knocking or not. She took a deep breath and finally knocked lightly.

“Izz?”

“Hey, Rafa.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He snapped as he walked away from the open door.

“For breaking up with you,” she told him as she walked in and shut the door behind her.

“Oh really?” This was not going to be easy, she told herself.

“Yes. If you’ll just give me another chance…”

“Just like that, huh? Forget the last 6 weeks ever happened? Forget that I have cried nearly every day since you told me we needed to break-up? Forget that I have had to stop myself from calling you? Forget that I have barely been able to eat without getting sick? Forget that I sleep maybe 4 hours a night…if that!”

“Rafa please…”

“You broke my heart.”

“I wasn’t trying to.”

“But you did. I thought…I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and just thrown on the ground.”

“I thought I was doing the right thing. If you don’t…”

“I loved you!”

“You loved me?”

Rafael stood in the living room of the apartment he shared with Tony, looking at the only woman he ever truly loved. “I still love you,” he whispered as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“I still love you, too.”

“Really?” He asked with a crooked smile.

“Yeah…I do,” she told him as she held up her left hand to reveal the promise ring he had given her a few years before. “Can I be your girlfriend again?”

He stood for what seemed like an eternity. The look on his face finally faded from anger to one of love. “Of course, cariño. I love you,” he told her as he kissed her. “Don’t ever do that to me again.”

“I won’t. I swear. I’m not going anywhere…ever.”

“Where’s your brother?”

“In my car,” Izzy chuckled. “Did he tell you where he was going?”

“No but he’s been gone half the day and when you showed up, it didn’t take me long to figure out where he went. Go tell him he can come up.”

“Do we have to?”

“At least let him come to his room while we lock ourselves in mine.”

He locked the door to his room once they were inside. 15 minutes of making out and they were both ready to go. “You’re not going to believe this.”

“What?”

“I’m out of rubbers,” he scoffed.

“How?”

“I threw the last ones I had away. Didn’t think I’d need them, honestly.”

“Oh.”

“You know, you never told me exactly what caused you to think you were gonna be a distraction.”

“It was…never mind.”

“Tell me. Please?”

“Your dad said something to me when we had dinner with your parents the week before we broke up.”

“What did he say?” He asked angrily.

“Just that you didn’t need to have anything standing in your way in law school, in so many words.”

“That son of a bitch. Lobbed a fucking grenade into our relationship and couldn’t wait for it to go off. As if he knows me at all. I have the bad damn luck to share his DNA but he has never been a father to me. He more than proved that when I had surgery last year.”

“Where are you going?”

“To get the phone.”

“Rafa. No.”

“I am not going to let him…the physical pain he put me through during my childhood wasn’t enough. He put thoughts in your head that caused you to break up with me, knowing what it would do to me. He fucking set me up to fail.”

“I’m here now and I’m not leaving ever again.”

“I’m at least going to call Mami and let her know we’re back together,” he told his girlfriend with a smirk.

“Well, how about while you make that phone call, I run to the Rite-Aid on Somerville and pick up what you need?”

“Sure. Don’t be too long though.”

“I won’t,” she told him as she looked over at his nightstand to see a picture of the two of them Erin had taken the Christmas before at Rockefeller Center and smiled. She would never leave him again she thought to herself. Erin happened to take it without them looking in her direction and actually caught the perfect picture of the two of them smiling at each other and the Christmas tree in the background.

After she returned with what they needed, they locked themselves in his room.

“Baby?”

“Yeah?” She asked while she laid on his bare chest after an hour of mind blowing sex.

“How much weight have you lost?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You think I didn’t notice when you walked in? I know how this break-up affected me.”

“Well, you need to start eating.”

“So do you. I worried about that so much.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’ve lost at least 10lbs. I can tell. Are you still seeing the nutritionist?”

“No,” she admitted quietly.

“Promise me, when you get home, you’ll start seeing her again.”

“I will,” she smiled as she rested her chin on him.

“Okay. I missed you so much,” he told her as he moved her hair out of her face.

“I missed you, too. Did you…see anybody?”

“You really think I could bring myself to do that?”

She just kind of shrugged.

“What about you?”

“Of course not. The thought of someone holding my hand or trying to kiss me…I couldn’t even fathom it.”

“Me either. I’ve only been with one person and she’s all I want.”


	21. Chapter 21

"When are you going back home?” Tony asked his sister the next day.

“Trying to get rid of me already?”

“No,” he laughed. “I was just asking. Good thing I made you pack a suitcase.”

“Yeah. I didn’t think he was gonna accept my apology at first.”

“He was hurt, sis. You can’t blame him for being a little angry, too.”

“I don’t. I shouldn’t have let his dad get into my head that way.”

“I don’t think Rafael is gonna let that go any time soon from what he said last night when he came out to get something to drink after your ‘marathon’.”

“Shut up and would you?”

“No but Pop wouldn’t do that to us. I think he was just as heartbroken over your break up as you two were.”

“What do you mean?”

“He called to check on Rafael a couple of times.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yep. Two or three times.”

“Damn. So, have you talked to Erin?”

“A few times. She says she’s gonna come to New York around Christmas?”

“That’s the plan. Mom and Dad put a deposit down on that apartment in Fort Greene for me but it won’t be ready until the first week of December since it’s being redone. Erin’s gonna come out and help me unpack and that kind of stuff.”

“Can you believe she’s joining CPD?”

“I was a little shocked myself. You know she was Hank’s CI when she was a teenager before they took her in.”

“Yeah, I knew that. What’s up with you two?”

“What do you mean?”

“Becoming cops? I thought you hated cops.”

“Since when?”

“You used to always blare ‘Fuck tha Police’.”

“Jeez, it’s just a song, Indiana.”

“What are you two doing?” Rafael asked when he came in from his Civil Procedure class.

“Just talking,” his girlfriend replied as he bent down to kiss her. 

“You feel like grabbing some lunch, cariño?”

“Sure. Let me get changed. You gonna be okay, Tony?”

“Yeah, I got Criminal Law in 20 minutes. You two have fun.”  
_______________________________________________________________________________________  
“Where’s my sister?”

“Asleep,” Rafael answered his roommate as he sat at the computer working on a paper.

“What did you do, knock her out with your headboard?”

Rafael just cut his eyes toward Tony as he went back to the screen.

“What are you working on?”

“That extra credit for Torts to make up for that ‘D’ I got a few weeks back.”

“Professor Jameson is going to let you?”

“Yeah. He told me he was disappointed in my work and that I could do better so he was going to give me a chance to do so.”

“Good.”

“Yeah I can’t afford any more grades like that.”

“I got it. So, check it out.”

“What is that?”

“You know what it is.”

“Pot? Seriously?”

“Come on. You’ve never tried it but said you weren’t opposed to it.”

“Where did you get that?”

“Tyler Fischer in 12C.”

“Ugh, fine. I’m done with this for tonight anyways,” Rafael rolled his eyes as he got up from the desk and followed his roommate into their living room.

“I’m not feeling anything. I hope you didn’t pay much for this shit.”

“Yeah, I had better shit in Brooklyn.”

“Man…you know…”

“What?”

“What?”

“You said, ‘man you know’ and that was the end of the sentence,” Tony told him.

“I don’t know,” Rafael shrugged as he sat back on the couch. 

“Did you know that our neighbors across the way are having sex?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Look out the balcony window, Rafi.”

“That’s two cats, moron.”

“Oh well at least someone’s getting some.”

“I got some three times today.”

“I don’t want to hear that,” Tony laughed as he reached out to smack Rafael’s arm but only grazing it with his fingers. “Damn I thought I was closer.”

“I don’t know about you but I am fucking starving.”

“Hey, didn’t my sister make ravioli today.”

“Yeeeaaahhhhh. There’s still some left.”

Soon, everything they could find, lunch meat, the ravioli, frozen pizzas, spray cheese…the fridge was halfway cleaned out.

“You know, I really love your sister. She’s beautiful, she’s innocent…she’s everything that’s good in this miserable, fucking world,” Rafael said before turning the can of cheese up and spraying it into his mouth, not using a cracker or anything.

“You know, that would’ve been really sweet if you hadn’t have eaten a half a can of easy cheese in one bite afterwards.”

“Eh, well,” Rafael kind of shrugged.

“I get it though, man. That’s how I felt about Erin. Man, I miss her.”

“You should go see her.”

“She’ll be in New York at Christmas.”

“What in the hell are two doing?” Izzy laughed as she came out of the room.

“Busted.”

“Tony made me do it.”

“Wha…you just…throw me under the bus?”

“You bought it.”

“I could smell that in the bedroom, you fools. You realize that as of January, I’m going to the police academy to become a police officer and pot is illegal?”

“Sorry, mi amor.”

“And I am not cleaning up this mess. Rafael what is on your face?”

“Cheese.”

“You two are disgusting,” she snarked as she went to the kitchen to get some water. “Guys! Come on! I just bought that stuff today.”

“You did?”

“Yeah and you owe me $30 by the way, Junior.”

“Fine. I’ve got some cash in my wallet.”

“You’ll be buying more groceries. I’m surprised you guys took the time to cook the pizzas.”

“We’re not complete animals, babe.”

“The living room looks like the raccoons tearing up the trash in 'The Great Outdoors'.”

“Hey, that’s a pretty good movie.”

“We should go to the movies, Tony.”

“Hey, yeah. We got a paper? Nevermind, I’ll call Movie Fone.”

“I think you two to come down and go to bed. After you clean this up, that is.”

“Jeez, Mom.”

“Watch it, Anthony.”

“You’re gonna get us in trouble,” Rafael thought he whispered.

“Don’t be much longer, babe, please?”

“You want to go for number 4?”

“Not hardly. I’m going back to sleep.”

“Denied!!!”

“It’s not the first time and I can guarantee it will not be the last.”


	22. Chapter 22

“Where do you want this picture?”

“Just above the fireplace, Erin. That’s fine.”

“I remember this night.”

“It was just a few years ago,” Izzy chuckled.

“No, I know but I mean how much fun we had. Your brother really thought he could sing.”

“You miss him don’t you?”

“I don’t know. I mean…yeah but I’m not ready to settle down yet. It would be a lot of work for us to be together when we’re 15 hours apart.”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“Speaking of when will him and Barba be home?”

“Tomorrow actually. “

“Has he spoken to his dad at all?”

“Thanksgiving was very…quiet to say the least. I don’t like that really. I’m afraid he’s gonna let it fester and just explode. He’s still so angry though.”

“Can you blame him? What kind of a father would do that to their own son?”

“It was my fault. I should’ve blown him off. I just honestly thought that he was genuinely concerned about his son for a change.”

“Oh well, all is right with the world again,” Erin said as she batted her eyes.

“Zip it and hand me the hammer.”

“So, you can hit me with it?”

“Come on, Erin. I’d leave never evidence.”

“Speaking of…you getting nervous?”

“Not really. You?”

“I’m ready actually. You know, I was lucky enough to get a scholarship to one of the most prestigious universities in the country but I’m not a lawyer or a doctor. Business is not my   
forte either.”

“I know what you mean.”

“This Christmas tree you have is sad.”

“I don’t need a big tree,” Izzy laughed.

“You need something bigger than this. I mean a great dane sits on this and that’s the end of it.”

“Do you see an ugly dachshund around here anywhere?”

“Aren’t you going to get one?”

“I don’t know if I want a dog that big.”

“You’re gonna be alone here for another 2 ½ years.”

“So? Rafael will be home on weekends.”

“I still can’t believe you got this apartment for $1,000 a month.”

“Well, it helps my dad went to school with the building owner. I mean they grew up together in Bay Ridge.”

“Still, most people pay double for this amount of space. You got lucky.”

“No kidding. Funny thing is, Dad didn’t even ask for a break on the rent.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously but Dad did make a ‘donation’ for the renovations that were done before I moved in.”

“I see. Maybe I need to move out here.”

“I have an extra room.”

“Who could that be?” Erin asked at the knock on the door.

“No idea.”

“I’ll go see.”

“I hope you ladies are hungry,” Izzy heard her brother say as he walked in with Rafael.

“Hey, I didn’t expect you two until tomorrow,” she said as she hugged the both of them.

“Somebody couldn’t wait one more day…”

“You want to go there, Rossetti? Because I think it was you that…”

“Okay! Okay, Barba! Shut it!”

“That’s what I thought.”

“Here, we brought pizza. Erin…it’s good to see you.”

“You, too, Tony.” 

Izzy and Rafael just sort of smiled as they watched Erin and Tony just continue to shake hands.

“So! I’m hungry.”

“Right behind you, Izz,” Erin told her.

“Oh, sis what is with your Christmas tree?”

“Tony I’ve already heard it from Erin. It’s big enough for me.”

“No, you gotta have at least a 6 foot one.”

“I’ll get one next year. Can we just eat?”

“I gotta check this place out now that it’s furnished. I can’t believe Ma gave you the daybed out of the guest room.”

“She got a new one.”

“I’m surprised they didn’t buy you a new bed.”

“Why would they? There’s nothing wrong with mine. I’ve had that since I was 14.”

“Aren’t you a little old for the canopy now?”

“Leave your sister alone.”

“Fine. You know you’re gonna be sleeping in that bed when you get married.”

“So? I’ve slept in it several time over the years. The canopy doesn’t bother me. I think you were grateful for it once at your parent’s house.”

“That is true. I really didn’t want to see your naked ass while you violated my sister.”

“I have always been respectful, thank you.”

“Okay, guys. Can we eat?”

“Izzy’s right. You two have plenty of years to argue over the nasty things Barba’s done to your sister.”

“Thanks for that, Erin, really.”

“I do what I can, Tony.”  
_________________________________________________________________________________  
“Where’s Rafael?” Anthony asked on Christmas morning when Izzy arrived. “I thought Lucia and Miguel were going to Miami to visit his brother.”

“They did. He said had to go pick something up.”

“Wonder what it could be?” Tony teased.

“It’s not that.”

“How do you know?”

“It’s not time yet.”

“You’re telling me, if he came in with your ring today, you’d turn him down?”

“Will you hush?”

“Your sister’s right. You guys have one semester of law school behind you. You still have 5 more to go,” Stella added.

“But he said he shouldn’t be long, Dad.”

“Then we’ll wait for him.”

“Awww, Dad seriously?”

“Yes, Junior. That wouldn’t be fair to let you two open your presents before he does.”

“I swear you like him more than me.”

“He doesn’t give me as much lip. Think about that.”

“Funny, Pop.”

They sat around and drank coffee while they waited on Rafael to show up.

“Where’s your sister?” He asked as he walked in the living room of the Bensonhurst residence.

“In the kitchen with Ma. What is that, Barba?”

“It’s your sister’s present. Think she’ll like it?”

“Uh…yeah. Come on. We’ll take it to my room and you can bring it back down after we open our presents.”

Anthony told Stella and Izzy that Rafael had finally arrived so they could get their Christmas started. 

“What is that noise?” Izzy asked.

“She’s got sonar hearing, I swear,” Anthony laughed.

“Am I the only one hearing that?”

“Hearing what?”

“Sounds like a dog whining. I can’t be going crazy. I start the academy next month.”

“Stay here, cariño.”

Rafael came back downstairs with a white and black. He looked like a Dalmatian but a little bigger bodied and he had a blue bow around his neck.

“Oh my god, Raf…is this…”

“The Ugly Dachshund,” he snickered.

“You remember I love that movie.”

“Of course.”

“Where did you get him?

“The principal at Mami’s school raises Great Danes and this little guy was the runt and nobody wanted to pay the actual price for him.”

“He couldn’t have been the runt. Look at these paws,” Izzy laughed.

“He likes you already.”

“What about the…”

“I took care of the pet deposit,” Anthony told his daughter. “And Phil’s (the building’s owner) niece is a dog walker so she’ll take him out twice a day for you.”

“Yeah, he’s already trained.”

“I love him, Raf. Thank you.”

“I know you have an alarm and soon you’ll have a gun but I’d feel a little better with something…bigger while I’m not there.”

“What are you gonna name him, sis?”

“Uh…he looks like a…Riggs.”

“Of course, he does,” Rafael scoffed playfully. 

“You should’ve known, Rafael,” Stella told him.

“I was counting on something like that.”  
__________________________________________________________________________________________  
“You’re seriously gonna let him sleep in the bed with us?”

“Come on. It’s his first night in a new place.”

The three month old pup stretched out on his back in between them and let out a sort of groan.

“I’m not losing my woman to you, just so we’re aware. I was here first.”

“Tell Daddy to hush.”

He let out another groan of sorts.

“See?”

“It’s already two against one and he’s been here 8 hours. I should’ve gotten you a fish,” he joked.

“Stop.”

“No, I thought he’d be good practice for us.”

“Oh yeah considering you’re only going to be here a few days a week for the next 2 ½ years.”

“And when I’m home, I’ll take care of him.”

“Okay.”

“He’s gonna have to get in his own bed because we have a Christmas tradition that we have yet to fill.”

“Well, put him to bed.”

He picked the 30lb pup up and sat him in the dog bed in the floor and covered him up.

“Now, get over here.”

Things were getting hot between to two of them, only for them to hear the tiniest whimper coming from the side of the bed.

“Riggs Daddy said no.”

He gave the saddest look to Rafael.

“That’s not gonna work on me. Go lay down.”

They heard a small grumble and another whine. He stood up and started pawing at the bed before letting out the saddest sounding bark.

“Ugh, fine. Get up here,” Rafael finally relented. 

He got right back in the same spot he had been in before.

“And so it begins.”

“You said he was practice. You think we won’t have kids crawling into bed with us?”

“We’re gonna need a bigger bed, especially once he’s fully grown.”


	23. Chapter 23

“Sorry, I won’t be in this weekend.”

“It’s fine, babe,” Izzy told Rafael over the phone one night in March 1998.

“It’s just mid-terms are coming up…”

“What did I just say? I understand. Me and the dog will be fine,” she laughed.

“How’s he doing after his…surgery?”

“Fine. He was kind of mad at me for a day or two but now his big butt is in my lap, watching 'Dharma and Greg' with me.”

“Better you than me.”

“Funny. Yeah, I had to be the bad guy. Thanks so much.”

“I feel his pain. You couldn’t possibly understand.”

“I’ll remember that when I give birth to your children.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” he chuckled. “So, I’ll be home during Spring break. Okay?”

“Sounds good. I can’t wait. I am incredibly horny and tired of buying batteries.”

“Well, I guess I better do all I can that week so you won’t need to for a while.”

“You better.”

“Okay. I’ve gotta get to my one night class I have a week. I love you.”

“Love you, too, Rafa.”

Riggs let out a small whine.

“I guess he misses you, too.”

“Well, Daddy will be home in a week.”

“Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow when I get home.”

“Sounds good, mi amor.”

They hung up and Riggs just sort of looked at Izzy.

“Now, don’t give me the pouty pup face. Daddy is going to school so he can have a good job to buy the 100lbs food you’re going to end up eating every month.”

She watched a little more TV before getting in bed with the dog. She had been put on days in the academy 7-3:30, M-F which she really enjoyed. It wasn’t as uptight as she had expected either.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________  
“I thought I said no, Riggs,” Izzy could hear Rafael tell the dog in the living room. He had been in for Spring Break but still had work that needed done. They had spent a few hours in bed that particular day before he went to work on a paper that due the following Monday. He had heated up some left over Chinese while he sat on the couch and worked.  
She could hear the dog grumbling, obviously wanting food. “That ear drop thing you do might work with Mommy but it doesn’t with me.”

She could hear more noises coming from the dog before he finally relented.

“Oh, just take it, you big baby. I didn’t want the last eggroll anyways. I hope our kids aren’t as spoiled as you are,” he told the dog who was a lot big than when he first gave him to his girlfriend as he petted his head. 

Izzy started laughing when she heard him start talking to the dog even more, seemingly playing with him in the floor. 

“What are you doing?”

“Uh, taking a break,” he said as he looked from basically wrestling with the Great Dane.

“You know one of these days, he’s going to be big enough to hurt you,” she told him as she shook her head and went to the kitchen for some leftover Chinese food herself.

“You think he’ll be okay when we start having kids?”

“I don’t see why not. Great Danes are good family pets.”

“We’re gonna need a bigger place, if not just for him, eventually. I mean he’s almost outgrown the bed I first bought him as it is. Not that he uses it so much.”

“He uses it when you’re here.”

“Yeah, he really used it last night.”

“He missed you,” she teased.

“You know what I missed?”

“You’ve had enough.”

“Since when am I on a limit? You need to think that in about 30 years, I’ll be lucky to do anything.”

“Oh, will you stop? You think you’re gonna need that…whatever that is that’s being peddled on TV when you’re 53? Seriously?”

“Viagra? You never know. What if I’m a judge then or a law professor? Might be more stressful than being a prosecutor.”

“You’re so dumb.”

“I did tell you that I’ll get to intern for my 2nd year at the Brooklyn DA’s office this summer, didn’t I?”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Got the call before we left the other day.”

“So, I get you all summer again.”

“Of course, you do. Then just two more years and I’m home for good.”  
____________________________________________________________________________________  
“Goddammit.”

“What’s wrong, Raf?”

“The…damn dog shredded that paper I had worked on for days!”

“So, the dog ate your homework?”

“It’s not funny.”

“I’m not laughing, babe.”

“I worked and worked on that. I worked on it while your brother drove down here!”

“Okay. It’s only Wednesday. You have until Sunday to redo it.”

“Yeah cause that’s how I want to spend my spring break,” he scoffed. The dog came out of the kitchen and gave that sad look.

“Go lay down, Riggs. Now!”

He walked to the bedroom with his tail between his legs and laid in his bed.

“If I get started now, maybe I can get it done by Friday. I think I remember most of it anyways.”

“Here,” Izzy said as she sat her Apple PowerBook in front of him. “Use this and save it.”

“I was going to…”

“Do it. You’ll thank me later.”

“Okay.”

“I gotta get in the shower.”

When Izzy got home from the academy that day, both her boyfriend and their dog where asleep on the couch. She knew he wouldn’t stay mad at him very long. He obviously had acted out since he had been moved to the couch the night before so they didn’t have to worry about a cold nose or a slobbery tongue on one of their feet while they were having sex.

“I guess you two made up,” she laughed after watching him toss the dog a piece of pepperoni off the pizza they had ordered. 

“Something like that. It was an accident. At least I think it was.”

“You did kick him out of the room.”

“Doesn’t mean he had to tear up my paper.”

“How much of it did you get redone today?”

“About half actually. Once I started looking at my notes, everything just came back to me. Probably changed a few small words here and there. How was your day?”

“Not bad really. Same stuff for the most part.”

“How much longer do you have?”

“Should graduate in June.”

“I’m looking forward to that.”

“Really?”

“You in that uniform? No question,” he said as he bit his bottom lip, moving to kiss her.

“Ew, you’re all greasy from the pizza.”

“Boo-hoo,” he mocked before Riggs barked quietly.

“Don’t be jealous,” Rafael told him. He didn’t even give his “Daddy” a chance to make a move again as he jumped in between the two of them. “Hey, you’re supposed to be man’s best friend and I am the man, here.”

He just sort of barked again, resting a paw on Izzy’s leg.

“Guess not, babe.”

“Cock blocked by my own dog,” Rafael shook his head as he grabbed another piece of pizza, Riggs lunging for it. “Ah, ah. No, sir. This is mine.”

“Raf don’t tease him.”

“He has his own food.”

"You feed him from the table all the time."

"I do not."

"Liar."

They laid in bed, watching "Spin City" after he worked a little more on his paper and Izzy studied for a test she had the next day. Riggs was begging to get in the bed but the bigger he was getting, Izzy’s full size bed was not big enough for the three of them anymore. 

*BARK!*

“No, Riggs.”

*BARK!*

“Daddy said no, Riggs. Get in your own bed.”

He’d bark some more, earning another “no” and an argument from the Harvard Law student, until finally he just jumped in the bed.

Izzy noticed her boyfriend curl up in the fetal position on his right side.

“What’s wrong?”

“Dog…stepped…balls. Hurts.”

Part of her wanted to laugh but a bigger part honestly felt bad for him. Riggs had to weigh close to 100lbs so she knew Rafael had to be in pain. The dog listened when she told him to get into his bed.

“Raf?”

“Huh?”

“You okay?”

“Not really. We may be kissing those kids good-bye.”

“You want me to rub them and make them better?”

“Please no. Don’t think about them, don’t even look in their direction.” Riggs looked up at him from his bed. “You know if your Mommy didn’t have your cut off, I’d return the favor, you spoiled brat.”

“Stop. He didn’t mean to.”

“Be that as it may, he did it. This is so much worse than blue balls.”

“Go to sleep,” she told him as she rolled her eyes.


	24. Chapter 24

“So, you don’t report for duty for two weeks and I have the day off,” Rafael giggled against his girlfriend’s neck one morning in June 1998 after she had graduated from the academy.

“What did you have in mind?”

“That’s up to you, Officer.”

“I really need a shower after last night.”

“Did you get a little sweaty?”

“What do you think?”

“I didn’t even get to finish that last time,” he faked pouted.

“I don’t see how you had anything left in you. I sure didn’t.”

“Trust me, I know.”

“Well…I know something we’ve wanted to try but never have.”

“What’s that?” He asked as he kissed the back of her neck and her shoulders.

“Do it in the shower.”

“We’ve had sex in the bathtub.”

“That’s not what I meant, Raf.”

“Ohhhh…I’ll start the water.”

She got up and joined him in the hot water. He had a condom and water based lube on the edge of the tub waiting for them. Once they were both ready, he held her against the shower wall and entered her slowly. He wrapped her leg around his waist as he kept going deeper into her. It felt amazing as she moved her along the wall, making her moans grow louder with each thrust.

They were both so into it, it felt amazing. Until her foot came out from under her and they both ended up in the floor of the bathroom, tangled in the shower curtain, and the shower rod pulled out of the wall.

At first Izzy tried to laugh, her boyfriend on the other hand was not. He was clutching his left shoulder with the worst look on his face.

“Oh my god, I think you dislocated your shoulder,” she said once she got a good look.

“It certainly fucking feels like something’s wrong.”

“We’ve gotta get you to the hospital.”

“I can’t go like this.”

“I’ll help you. Come on.”  
______________________________________________________________________________  
“How’s he doing?” Anthony asked when he came over a few hours after Rafael’s shoulder had been put back in place to fix the shower rod.

“He’s still knocked out from the morphine they gave him to put his shoulder back in his place. Dad he was knocked out but he still made the most god awful scream.”

“Imagine if he had been awake and had nothing for pain. So, you want to tell me how this happened?” He wondered as he assessed the damage.

“He…uh…I didn’t rinse the tub out good after my bath and he slipped.”

“Uh-huh. Okay, well it will take me about an hour to fix this.”

“Okay. Thanks, Dad.”

Izzy went to check on Rafael and incidentally Riggs who was laying next to him in the bed.

“He’s almost as long as Rafael,” Anthony chuckled as he walked by to grab his toolbox.

Rafael got up right as Anthony had finished up fixing the bathroom. Izzy had ran to get his prescription filled and pick up a few other things from the drugstore not far from her apartment.

“There, good as new. How are you feeling, Rafael?”

“Sore. I have to keep my arm in this damn thing for at least two weeks, even when I sleep.”

“Can I offer you a word of advice?”

“Sure, Anthony.”

“Maybe you should slowly work up to the shower acrobatics to avoid further injuries.”

Rafael could feel his face burn and his future father-in-law loved every minute of it.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You slipped. Ha! I might’ve been born at night but it wasn’t last night. Tell my daughter to call her mother.”

“I will. Thanks for fixing the shower.”

“Not a problem. Take care of yourself.”

“Okay.”

Izzy came out to find her dad already gone and Rafael up.

“Hey, there you are. How are you feeling?”

“Still a little woozy from the morphine.”

“You want some Zofran?”

“Maybe in a little bit. I don’t know what was worse.”

“What do you mean?”

“The injury itself or the fact that your dad didn’t believe I slipped alone in the shower.”

“Oh.”

“How are you feeling by the way?”

“My back’s a little sore but I’ll live.”

“I think we should stick to you riding me in the tub for a while.”

“I think you’re still stoned,” she laughed.

“It’s possible. I thought the two weeks after my appendix removal was long. I’m not even in the mood to go these next two weeks.”

“You’ll be okay.”

“You realize we lived together for a year, we didn’t have to go without it but once every 28 days? This last year, we’ve maybe done it half as much?”

“Oh jeez,” she rolled her eyes. “Are you not keeping count anymore?”

“I gave up when you dumped me.”

"Raf."

"Sorry."

"It's fine. I deserved that."

"I was just trying to make a joke.'

"It's okay."

"No, I shouldn't joke about that. It wasn't your fault."

"Yeah, it was. I listened to someone that doesn't know anything about you. That would be like me listening to Yelina."

"She wouldn't be brazen enough to do something like that. My dad...he just..."

"Let's not get you upset."

"Hey, you feel like making me some spaghetti?"

"It will take me a few hours but I could," she smiled.

"I'd really, really appreciate it."

"You're gonna milk this, aren't you?"

"Oh, definitely," he replied with a sly grin and nod.


	25. Chapter 25

“How did you swing the weekend off?” One of Izzy’s academy classmates, Nick Amaro asked as they began to punch out for the day.

“Because we start night shift Monday, remember?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

“So, when’s Maria coming home?”

“She has a weekend pass in August. I requested that weekend off. We’ll see if Reece actually approves it.”

“How long have you two been together?”

“Uh, a year and a half? What about you and…”

“Rafael?”

“Yeah. Sorry,” he chuckled.

“4 years, 5 in February.”

“How’s his life as an intern?”

“$14.00 an hour to be given orders not just by the ADA’s but the clerks and paralegals? Don’t ask.”

“Eh, he’ll be the one giving orders one day and making more an $14/hr.”

“That’s true. Well, have a good weekend, Amaro.”

“Yeah, you, too, Izz.”

Nick was classically handsome. Dark hair, olive skin, dark eyes. Did Izzy find him attractive? Sure. Was she attracted to him? No. They had grown close during the academy, mainly for their penchant of pulling pranks on other cadets such as Joe “Doom” Dumas, Donna Dunbar, Louise Campisi, Anton Jefferson, and Jimmy Nolan. They more or less had formed a brother/sister type of bond. He had a similar upbringing to her boyfriend when it came to an abusive father. Nick’s however left his family when Nick was 15.

Izzy walked in to her apartment to smell food cooking and to hear music coming from the kitchen.

“Now, Riggs, I already gave you two pieces of bacon. I think that’s enough.”

She watched as the dog covered his face, groaned, and laid down.

“I swear you are so rotten,” her boyfriend laughed as he tossed another piece of bacon to the dog.

“Hey, handsome.”

“Hey, sexy,” he smiled. “How was your day?”

“Not too bad. I’m slowly getting used to Lake,” she told him referring to her FTO Chester Lake.

“Good.”

“So, what is this?”

“I thought we would have breakfast for dinner,” he said before kissing her.

“I love that idea.”

“Yeah. The three of us can eat and cuddle up in bed.”

“You must’ve had a good day.”

“I got to sit in on a case in Manhattan with ADA Donnelly. She’s a killer.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It was amazing to watch her, really. The jury was out for maybe 30 minutes and came back with a guilty verdict.”

“Do you have a new hero?”

“I didn’t say that,” he laughed. “Everyone knows Ben Stone is hard to beat but watching her. I mean, she pulled no punches in her closing argument.”

“Glad to see you can find a silver lining in your daily grunt work.”

“Are you kidding? Getting a reprieve from making copies, getting coffee, etc? Who wouldn’t be in a good mood?”

“Are you really fixing Riggs his own plate?”

“It’s just eggs and bacon. I didn’t put all the veggies and cheese in his eggs.”

“And you tell me I spoil him?” She laughed. 

“Eh, well,” he shrugged as set the plate down in front of the Great Dane.   
______________________________________________________________________________________________  
The next morning, Izzy woke up thinking her boyfriend would be laying next to her, only to find their dog on Rafael’s pillow.

“Riggs. Where’s Daddy?”

*BARK*

“Oh, is that right?” She laughed.

She got up to start her morning routine, only to find a post-it on the bathroom mirror telling her to be at the Starbucks about 5 blocks from the apartment in an hour. She proceeded to forgo her morning run and get ready to head to the coffee house that had become popular over the last few years.

*BARK*

“Alicia will be here in 30 minutes to walk you, Riggs.”

*BARK, BARK*

“Riggs. It’s not 9:00 yet.”

He sort of groaned as he rolled on his back.

“Mommy will be back soon. I’m sure Daddy will be back before you get back from your walk. Calm down.”

She grabbed her keys and headed to the Starbucks. She walked in and looked everywhere for Rafael but didn’t see him. Instead, she was surprised to find Erin.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to see you, duh,” Erin laughed as they hugged. “I got you a Caramel Macchiato.”

“Thanks.”

They sat and traded stories from their first days as rookies for CPD and NYPD. After a little bit, Erin reached under the table and handed Izzy a pink bag from Victoria’s Secret.

“What’s this?”

“Just read the card.”

That card told her to go to Yankee Stadium in the Bronx for her next present. “Rafael put you up to this?”

“He wanted to do something special for you. Now go.”

A 45 minute cab ride later, she found herself at what she called “The Holy Land”. She knew the Yankees were out of town that week so she was confused as to why he would send her there. Then she saw Eddie.

“About time you got here, loca,” he teased.

“Sorry, Eddie,” she laughed as they hugged. “What are you doing here?”

“I am to give you this,” he told her as he handed her a small black box and another envelope. The box contained diamond earrings and the note instructed her to go to the Rockefeller ice rink.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I’m just the messenger,” Eddie laughed.

“Fine,” and off to Manhattan she went.

She walked around, thinking she’d finally see her boyfriend but was surprised by Eddie’s now fiancé, Lorena.

“What are you doing here?”

“I have no idea,” she giggled, handing her long box. 

This time, Izzy found a white gold chain with a small diamond on it. “What is he up to?”

“Don’t know. Oh, here,” Lorena said as she handed Izzy another envelope. That note instructed her to her favorite pizza place back in Bensonhurst.

“Ugh, seriously?”

“Hey…”

“I know. I know. Thanks, Lorena.”

Once at the pizza place in Bensonhurst, she found her brother with a box.

“Indiana you better tell me what…”

“He just wants to plan a nice evening for you.”

“He’s making sure I get my work out.”

“Hardly. You’ve been taking cabs everywhere.”

“Still. Now I have to go to the firehouse?”

“I don’t know what the note says.”

“Whatever,” she said as she opened the box to find a box from Manolo Blahnik inside that box. She pulled out a pair of multi-colored heels that she had seen in their window a few weeks prior. After a slice of pizza and a beer with her brother, she trekked to her dad’s firehouse.

“There’s my baby girl.”

“Hey, Izzy!!” All the other firefighter’s that had basically known Izzy since she was a kid greeted her. She hugged all of them before her father whisked her away to his office.

“Pop what is going on?”

“You’ve been working hard…”

“I’ve been out of the academy for a month.”

“I don’t live in your boyfriend’s mind,” he laughed. “Here.”

Izzy was amazed at the sort of rainbow colored dress in the black Prada bag after she unzipped it. The next note instructed her to go to Lina’s apartment in Morris Heights. She had been all over the Five Boroughs most of the day and it was getting closer and closer to dark. She hurriedly grabbed the dress, hugged her dad, and headed back to the Bronx.

“I’ve been waiting on you,” Lina said as she opened the door. Lucia was standing behind her mother with a bag from Bath and Body Works, it filled with everything Izzy needed for a shower in her favorite scent, Iced Pineapple.

“Your make-up is in the bathroom,” Lucia told her as she nodded toward said bathroom.

Izzy thought while she showered what her boyfriend was up to. There was no anniversary in the summer, other than that of their first time but neither of them really liked to remember that. Well, Rafael more so than Izzy. He still felt embarrassed about it all those years later.

Once she was ready, Lucia handed her another envelope that instructed her to head back to Bensonhurst.

“Lucia what’s going on?”

“I have no idea.”

“Abuelita?”

“Elizabeth we were just told what to do.”

“Okay.”

Izzy arrived back to her parents to find no cars in the driveway and all the lights off in the house. 

“What the hell?” She thought out loud.

“Back here, mi amor,” Rafael called from the back yard.

She opened the gate and found the small deck set up with a table which had two candles lit on it, white Christmas lights wrapped around the posts.

“Raf?”

“Dance with me?”

“Of course,” she smiled as she gave him her hand. “I’ll Stand By You” by The Pretenders started playing through the stereo as they danced. “Rafa what’s all this?”

“I just wanted you to know how much I love you.”

“I do…”

“I know but I need to show it.”

“Mr. Barba?”

“Yes, Gabby?”

“Your meal is ready,” Antonio’s little sister, Gabriella said, hating to interrupt.

“Shall we eat, cariño?”

“Sure,” Izzy smiled.

Gabby brought out their plates of Izzy’s favorite Shrimp di Avolo, along with bread and wine. Izzy loved spicy food. The hotter, the better.

After their dinner, which Izzy knew her mother had made, Gabby brought out some rainbow sherbet (another of Izzy’s favorites) to “cleanse their palates”. She was still wondering what Rafael was up to. “Another dance?”

“Raf what is all this?”

“Uh…okay. I have loved you since I was 19. The first time we kissed, I knew I didn’t want to kiss anyone else for the rest of my life.”

“Rafa.”

“I’ve told you for years that I want to have many children with you and now, I’m ready to make good on that promise.”

She felt her heart drop into her stomach as he went down on one knee. He took her promise ring that she still wore off and held her hand.

“I waited my whole life for someone that would understand me. I have never loved anyone the way I love you. I used to think that I was stupid for ‘waiting’ for the right person but I know I wasn’t. You were the one that I was meant to give everything to. My heart, my soul, my life. So, Elizabeth Michelle Rossetti, will you do me the honor of becoming Mrs. Rafael Barba?”

Tears were already falling as she whispered, “Yes.”

Soon a white gold band with a ¾ carat diamond sat on her finger and he stood up and kissed him.  
______________________________________________________________________________________  
After almost two hours of unbelievable sex, Rafael and Izzy laid in each other’s arms. “So, when do you want to get married?”

“Rafa.”

“Come on. You don’t have an idea?” 

“Not yet. I just got this ring on my finger a few hours ago.”

“While I’ve had it for a year.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Rafael Eduardo Barba don’t tell me ‘nothing’.”

“Ugh, okay. You know how your dad bought you and Tony those Camaro’s for graduation?” 

“Yeah?”

“Well…his gift to me was paying off your engagement ring. I’ve had it…I had it…when we broke up.”

“Raf,” she whispered with tears in her eyes. “You didn’t…you kept…”

“I knew we were going to end up together.”

“I’m so sorry I broke your heart,” she told him while tears streamed from her eyes.

“It’s okay now. We’ve made it here. That’s all that matters,” he said as he wiped her cheek.

“I should’ve never…”

“Shhh. We're fine now. I have 2 more years of law school and then it's you and me."

“You want another round?”

“I think Riggs is tired of sitting outside the door.”

“And again, I’m the one that spoils him,” Izzy laughed.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
“Have you given any thought to what kind of wedding you want?”

“Not yet, Ma. I mean, he still has two years of law school left so it would be pointless for us to get married anytime soon.”

“No, I understand. Are you thinking you want something big?”

“Nah. That’s not my style,” Izzy laughed. “The proposal was big enough.”

“He did put a lot of thought into that.”

“I know. It was very sweet really. How did he get Gabby involved?”

“I might’ve helped with that.”

“Just like with the dinner and the decorating?”

“Of course. I still can’t believe you were that oblivious.”

“I am blond, Ma. I mean, I knew he had a ring picked out and everything. I just always assumed he’d propose after he graduated, not that I’m complaining,” she smiled as she looked at her ring.

“You do act very blond at times. You get that from your grandmother," Stella, who resembled Leah Remini post Scientology teased. "But that does give you guys plenty of time to pick a date and start to plan.”

“Yeah, it does.”

“Now, did I hear him right? You two are planning on having 5 or 6 kids?”

“Something like that.”

“That’s a lot, Izz.”

“I know but isn’t that something Catholics are supposed to do?” She joked.

“So, by that rationale your father and I aren’t very good Catholics since we only had you and your brother?”

“Well, you didn’t want to chance another set of twins.”

“No, we did not. We did good to keep up with the two of you,” Stella laughed. "And it was too big of a risk with my cousin Rochelle having two sets of twins back to back."

“We just want a big family.”

“As long as you can take care of them, I wouldn’t mind having a lot of grandchildren.”

“Well, Ma, I hate to leave but I need to get some sleep. Midnight comes early.”

“How long will you be on nights?”

“I have no idea. I’m still a rookie after all and will be for a long time. I won't get off the streets for a while."

“You’ll get there, sweetie.”

“I know. Nothing worth doing is supposed to be easy, right?”

“You’re right. Go get some sleep.”


	26. Chapter 26

“How is she?”

“She’s fine, Rafael,” Anthony told him when he met his fiancé’s parents in the ER of Mount Sinai.

“What happened?”

“All we know is she and her partner were involved in a high speed chase another car came out of no where and t-boned them.”

“Any internal bleeding?”

“None that we know of,” Anthony told him. “She’s got a mild concussion and her right arm was broken in two places.”

“But she’s gonna be okay?”

“Yeah. They were working on discharging her. She’s been asking for you.”

He went to the room where his fiancé had finished getting dressed. “Hey.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Sore. Sorry.”

“What for? You were in an accident.”

“That you came down here.”

“I was coming down here tomorrow for Thanksgiving break anyways,” he laughed.

“Rossetti? Oh, I didn’t realize you had company.”

“It’s okay, Sarge. Steven Harris this is my fiancé…”

“Rafael Barba. I’ve heard a lot about you,” the tall Sergeant told him as he stuck out his hand.

“My fiancé is biased.”

“Maybe,” he laughed. 

“Hey, Sarge. How’s Lupo doing?”

“He’s fine. Dislocated shoulder, some cuts and bruises but other than that, he’ll be fine. You’re both on medical leave for at least two weeks. Then we’ll go from there.”

“You got it, Sarge.”

“Take care of this one, would ya, Barba?”

“I’ll do my best, Sergeant.”  
_________________________________________________________________________  
“So, do you two have any idea when you might get married?” Lucia asked as they had Thanksgiving dinner with her, Miguel, and Lina.

“We haven’t really discussed anything yet, Mami. It won’t be before I graduate law school.”

“Yeah, the last thing you need to do is worry about a wife while you get your degree,” his father said.

“We’d be just fine even if we got married while I’m still in school.”

“I understand why you think that…”

“Do you? Do you really? Do you know anything about me?”

“I think I know my son.”

“And how well do you know me? Hmm?”

“I know you well enough to know you haven’t thought this through.”

“Excuse me?”

“Guys, please,” Lucia pleaded.

“When have I ever not thought something through? I thought my decision to graduate first in my class to go to Harvard and get out of the Bronx through and through. I have no regrets.”

“So, say you two do get married next year and she gets pregnant while you’re still in school? What then?”

“We’re a lot more responsible than you give us credit for.”

“I’m asking you two to please not argue.”

“Sorry, Mami.”

“How’s your arm, Izzy?” Lina asked trying to steer the conversation.

“Sore and this cast is driving me crazy.”

“Did they catch the guy you were after?”

“Yeah. He wrecked a few blocks not far from where that other car hit us.”

“And what about him?”

“He wasn’t drunk just not paying attention really. Not exactly sure what happened with him.”

“There’s a good subject,” Miguel interjected. “What if she gets shot while you’re away at school?”

“Oh my god, are you serious?! Are you wishing for that?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Then why bring it up?! It wasn’t enough that you convinced her to break up with me…”

“I did no such thing.”

“No? You didn’t insinuate that I would be better off without her ‘distracting’ me?”

“Miguel you didn’t.”

“If he’s so hellbent on proving he’s so much better than me, he needs to think with the right head.”

“Okay, that’s it. We’re leaving.”

“Rafael.”

“Lo siento, Abeulita but I’m not listening to this anymore.”

“Rafi don’t go.”

“Mami I tried. I really did. We’re due in Brooklyn anyways.”  
________________________________________________________________________________

“You are not wearing that tonight,” Rafael told his fiancé when she came out of the bedroom in a black leather skirt, knee high boots and a black turtleneck.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“People are gonna wonder what the fuck you are doing with me.”

“Oh, stop. You like fine,” she told him referring to his jeans, blue and white stripped button up and black jacket.

“You sure?”

“Jeez, Barba, she says you like fine so take it.”

“Why are you still friends with her?” He asked as he rolled his eyes toward Erin.

“Hey, I helped with your elaborate proposal scheme.”

“Whatever. What time is your brother meeting us, mi amor?”

“He should be here in about 15 minutes.”

“And how many places are we planning on going?”

“It’s New Years Eve, love. Who knows?” Izzy smiled.

“I’d much rather spend it in bed with you,” he whispered as he took her ear lobe between his teeth gently, sending shivers down her body.

*BARK*

“You’ve seen a lot worse, Riggs.”

The now basically full grown dog groaned and rolled on his back, covering his eyes with his paw. 

Erin rolled her eyes as she went to buzz Tony into the building and the four of them headed out for New Years Eve.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________  
They hit up a few clubs but they were too crowded for their tastes so Izzy took them to a bar that a lot of cops frequented. 

“Hey, there’s my partner,” Lupo said when he saw her.

“Hey, Cyrus. I didn’t think you’d be out tonight.”

“It’s New Years, right? Did you hear the news?”

“You’re transferring to the 27th? Yeah, I heard. Have I been that bad of a partner?”

“Not at all,” the tall guy with shaggy hair laughed. “I just gotta get out of Brooklyn.”

“You’ve only been here two years.”

“I need a change, what can I say?”

“You remember my fiancé, Rafael?”

“Of course. How’s Harvard Law?”

“Tough but I’m making it,” Rafael replied as he shook Lupo’s hand.

“And this is my twin brother Tony and my best friend Erin Lindsay.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Erin,” he said with a smile, causing jealousy to shoot through Tony. 

“Well, I got drinks to deliver to my friends. I’ll see you in a few days, partner.”

“Later, Lupo.”

“He got a little friendly.”

“Oh, knock it off, Tony,” his sister laughed. “Come on, Erin. Let’s go get some drinks.”

“He is kind of cute,” Erin told Izzy as they waited for the drinks.

“Hey, pretty ladies,” a blond guy said as he and his friend came up to them. “Can we buy you two a drink?”

“Uh, we’re good, thanks,” Izzy told them.

“Come on. Just one drink.”

“Do you not notice this ring on my finger?”

“Are you married?”

“I will be.”

“But you’re not now.”

“What about you?” The other guy asked Erin.

“I’m with her brother.”

“You mean the two guys you walked in here with are your dates?”

“Yeah? Is there something wrong?” Izzy snapped.

“It’s just two hotties like yourselves should be in the company of real men.”

“I’ll log that away. Now if you’ll excuse us, my fiancé and my brother are waiting on us.”  
_______________________________________________________________________  
After a few drinks, Izzy and Erin decided to go play a game of pool once a table opened up.

“So, you two any closer to setting a date?”

“Come on, Tony. We’ve only been engaged four months,” Rafael chuckled as he took a drink of his beer.

“But you can’t wait. I know you too well.”

“Yeah, I can’t wait to marry your sister but also, I know we have to wait until I’m out of school. It makes no sense for us to get married before.”

“I guess I see your point.”

“So, what about you and Erin?”

“What about us?”

“You’re going to tell me she flew all the way out to here just to see your sister?”

“Yeah!”

“Bullshit. She came out here to see you, too.”

“Just drink your beer, asshole.”  
________________________________________________________________________________

Izzy and Erin were having fun playing their game as the guys watched on. They had played a lot during college to relieve stress or just pass the time with Tony and Rafael would be working.

“Hey, we wondered when you two were gonna ditch those guys,” that same blond guy said as he and his friend walked up.

“Did we call for your presence?” Erin snapped.

“Come on, baby. You’re gonna tell me that skinny little guy you came in here with makes you feel good?”

Izzy stood her stick up and turned to the guy. “Over and over and over again. He’s got the biggest cock I’ve ever seen.”

“Then you must’ve not seen very many then.”

She didn’t like anyone insulting her fiancé, especially some douche who didn’t want to take no for an answer. She decided just to turn back to her game until he grabbed her ass.  
She looked at him for a minute before hitting him in the balls with her pool cue causing him to fall to the floor. She then took it and broke it over his back.

His friend then grabbed Erin who didn’t use her cue and just kicked him in the balls too. Rafael had thought of intervening but Tony had stopped him, knowing his sister could take care of herself.

Izzy’s “friend” finally got back up but she knocked him back down and stuck her boot under his chin. “You just sexually assaulted a New York City police officer.”

“You’re…a cop?” He choked out. 

“You’re fucking right I am. Most everybody in here is, moron."

“Alright, that’s enough. You’re out of here,” a bouncer told them.

“Excuse me? He assaulted me! I can have him arrested.”

“You can be arrested yourself, officer.”

“Try it.”

“Okay, gentlemen, we’re Ms. Rossetti’s and Ms. Lindsay’s attorneys,” Tony said as he and Rafael walked up. “Surely there’s a reasonable solution we can come to.”

Rafael and Tony talked to the bouncer and the owner of the bar, assuring them that the pool cue would be replaced and anything else that was damaged. Lupo had come over to see if he could be of any help and was more than willing to arrest the guy that assaulted his partner. They were all asked to leave, with Izzy being told she was always welcome back just not that night. 

“You two impersonated actual lawyers?” Erin laughed as they left the bar and headed back to Izzy’s apartment.

“We’re halfway there,” Rafael countered.

“I say, let’s grab a bottle of champagne, start a fire and watch the ball drop on my sister’s TV.”

“That sounds like a good idea, bro.”

There were parties going on all through the building but the four of them did what they had planned. They had all changed into more comfortable clothes, each of them with a Harvard shirt of some kind on as they turned on the tv. Riggs was happy to have the company. He always jumped on Tony when he’d see him.

“Okay, Izz, we gotta play the song,” Erin laughed as she went through one of Izzy’s many “books” of CDs.

“Ugh, come on, Erin.”

“No. Come on.”

“Fine,” she laughed. 

Erin put in *NSYNC’s "Home for The Holidays" CD and turned on their New Years Eve themed song, “Kiss Me at Midnight”. Sure, Izzy was more of a fan of Billy Joel, Queen, Elton John, Talking Heads, but she really did have an eclectic CD collection and she always had a soft spot for boy bands since first hearing New Edition in the early 80s.

After the ball dropped and 1999 began, Izzy and Rafael crawled up in her recliner while Tony and Erin snuggled on the couch. They turned on "Office Space" and all ended up falling asleep. It was the perfect beginning to the new year.


	27. Chapter 27

“Mi amor?”

“Yeah, Raf?”

“I’ve been doing some thinking.”

“What’s that?”

“What are you doing December 17th of next year?”

“I’ll probably be on duty. Back on nights, my luck. Why?”

“Well, I thought maybe you might want to marry me that day?”

Izzy was shocked. Yeah it was only March 1999 but here her fiancé was, setting a date. She really didn’t know how to answer, but not in a bad way. 

“Are you…really?”

“Why not? I’ll be out of school that May, hopefully will have passed the bar and have a job with the Brooklyn DA. A small winter wedding wouldn’t be so bad, would it?”

“Not at all,” she smiled. “December 17th, 2000 sounds great to me."

“Good."

*ERRGGHHHH*

“Okay, come on, Riggs. Daddy will take you for a walk.”

“You boys don’t be too long,” Izzy laughed.

“We won’t, cariño,” he smiled as he grabbed Riggs’ leash and they head out the door.

About an hour later, Rafael walked back in with their huge dog and a bag of Chinese food.

“You read my mind, Raf.”

“Well, Riggs kept whining when we walked by Shanghai Gardens.”

“I bet,” she laughed as she took the bag from him. “I’m guessing you ordered extra egg rolls for him?”

“Maybe two?”

“Who could that be?” She asked after hearing a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it, mi amor.”

Rafael opened the door to find a very handsome Cuban Italian guy on the other side. “Oh, hey. Is Izzy home?”

“Yeah? You are?”

“Nick. Nick Amaro. We work together.”

“Right. Yeah, uh, come in.”

“You must be Rafael.”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“She talks about you all the time,” Nick told him as they shook hands.

“Yeah, I’ve heard good things about you, too. She’s in the kitchen.”

“Hey, hey.”

“Nick. What brings you by here?”

“Thought I’d break the news in person.”

“What’s that?”

“As of Friday, we’re gonna be partners.”

“Really? Harris hasn’t called me.”

“I told him I’d tell you the bad news,” Nick laughed.

“Gee, thanks. I’m so rude. Nick Amaro…”

“We met,” Nick laughed.

“Are you hungry?”

“Nah. I gotta meet Maria in an hour. I was just in the neighborhood, thought I’d stop by for a minute.”

Nick hung around for about 30 minutes and left. Rafael was unusually quiet as they ate dinner.

“You okay, baby?”

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine,” he responded dismissively.

“Rafa something’s bothering you.”

“No, it’s not. Are you done?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” she told him as he picked up their plates. They had been together 5 years and she knew when something was bothering him.

The kitchen was cleaned up and the leftovers were put away. Izzy got in the shower while Rafael grabbed her laptop and started working on a paper that was due after Spring break. 

After blow drying her long blond hair and getting into some cute pajamas she went to find her fiancé at her desk. She wrapped her arms around him and started kissing his neck. “I only have one more day off while you’re on Spring break.”

“I have to get this done,” he told her sternly.

“Babe…”

“I’m serious, Elizabeth. This has to be turned in on Monday.”

“Okay. I’m going to bed then,” she told him quietly.

Riggs laid in his bed while Izzy climbed in the Queen sized bed her parents had bought her for Christmas and turned on Nick at Nite to the episode of "The Brady Bunch" where Marcia got hit in the nose with the football. Izzy was really bothered by Rafael’s sudden cold demeanor. Could he be jealous of Nick? Surely not. Nick was like another brother to her. She finally fell asleep alone.  
_______________________________________________________________________________  
The next morning she woke up, still alone. She walked out of her room to find Rafael asleep on the couch. She got dressed and decided to go for her morning run. She grabbed Riggs’ leash and the two of them left.

After about two miles, Izzy and Riggs came home to find Rafael in the kitchen, cooking breakfast.

“Hey,” she said as she hung up Riggs’ leash.

“Good morning, hermosa,” Rafael replied as he came over and kissed her. “I’m sorry about last night.”

“What do you mean?” She played dumb.

“I got jealous over Nick.”

“Why?”

“Have you not seen him?”

“What about him?”

“Come on. I’m comfortable enough in my sexuality to know when a man’s attractive.”

“So? You are gorgeous.”

“Mi amor.”

“I’m serious. Part of the reason I want to marry you is because of your looks.”

“And what’s the other part?”

“Your dick.”

“You’re an ass,” he laughed.

“But you love me.”

“That I do, cariño. That I do. I should’ve talked to you last night.”

“Hey, I could be partnered with Robert Downey Jr and I would still want you.”

“Well, he’s in and out of prison all the time.”

“He’s still good-looking,” she teased.

“I love you.”

“And I love you, Rafa.”

*BARK, BARK*

“We love you, too, Riggs,” Rafael laughed. “He’s so damn needy.”

“He’s our baby.”

“Yeah, he is. Besides, it's not like you've never been jealous," he laughed.

"Hush. And I obviously had reason to be. And I wasn't jealous, per se. I just didn't trust her."

"Well, your instincts did prove right."

"See? Now, do you have any reason to believe that I am romantically interested in Nick or vice-versa?"

"No."

"Okay, then."  
__________________________________________________________________________  
“God, yes! Just like that!” Izzy practically screamed as her fiancé slammed into her.

“You like that, mi amor?” He panted while sweat dripped off of him.

“Fuck…yes! Keep…going! I’m almost…yes!!” She moaned as her walls clenched around him, soaking the outside of the condom. Within a few seconds, he moaned loudly as his hips stuttered while he emptied himself into the condom.

He rested on top of her while he came down from the high of his orgasm before kissing her and rolling to his side of the bed. He had pounded her into oblivion that night. They had come a long way from those two virgins back in the summer of 1994.

“I don’t want you to go back to school,” she fake pouted as they laid on their pillows, holding hands.

“I’m sorry, mi vida. I only have two more months of this semester and one more year to go.”

“That’s true. Then we’ll get married…”

“And start having babies.”

“You really want those babies, huh?”

“With you I do.”

“I’m so glad I didn’t go to Princeton like I had planned,” she sighed.

“So am I. I can’t believe I met my soulmate when I was 19, well 18 actually.”

“Me either. I never considered marriage and kids to be a big priority…until you.”

“Same for me. After Yelina…I had no interest in relationships. You weaseled your way into my world, though.”

“Me?”

“I didn’t stop you, did I?”

“No.”

“I’m glad I kept my heart open.”

“So am I, love. Oh, and by the way, it’s your turn to bathe the dog before you leave.”

“No way, uh-uh. The last time I did it, I had more water on me than he did.”

“I bathed him the last time,” she argued.

“He behaves for you.”

“Raf…”

“Nope. Not doing it.”

“Okay, fine. When you come home and you complain that he stinks, I don’t want to hear it.”

“I’ll bathe him tomorrow,” he grumbled as he rolled over.


	28. Chapter 28

“Hey, Izz you got that paperwork on that drunk we picked up?”

“It’s on my desk, Campisi. I think I got my part finished.”

“I hope they got my car detailed. Doom and I do not want to be smelling pee.”

“Oh, that guy was disgusting,” Izzy laughed as she unloaded her gun. “I mean that’s not the worse I’ve seen in my year on the force but how does somebody get that drunk that they piss themselves, more than once I might add?”

“I don’t know,” Louise laughed. “So, you got this weekend off?”

“Yeah. I switched with Donlon.”

“Gonna tell the parents you guys have set the date?”

“Yep. My parents need to know since they’re paying for it. What happened to that guy you were dating?”

“Cassidy? That lasted two weeks maybe.”

“Doesn’t he work for sex crimes?”

“Yeah. He said it’s pretty rough over there. I know we’re gonna see our share of shit over the years but that’s dark.”

“They’ve been implementing those divisions in all the boroughs from what I heard.”

“You thinking of transferring to one of them?”

“Not anytime soon.”

“You talk to Lupo?”

“Yeah. He seems to be liking it in Manhattan. Talking about trying to move up to detective.”

“Aren’t we all? I sure don’t want to be stuck in patrol for my entire career.”

“Me either.”

“So, what time’s the fiancé supposed to be in?”

“Uh, two hours and he’s home for the summer.”

“Got time for a drink?”

“Yeah, why not, Campisi?”

“I don’t look forward going to home to an empty apartment. You at least have a dog,” Louise laughed as she shut her locker.

“Then get a dog.”

“They’re more trouble than a man.”

“I still have to pick up after both. The man more than the dog.”  
______________________________________________________________________  
“So, you’ve set the date. Have you two thought of any plans concerning the wedding?” Lucia asked.

“Not yet, Mami. I mean we still have a year and a half to go.”

“Do you two even want to get married?” Miguel scoffed.

“What?”

“You’ve been engaged for a year and yet no plans are being made. Just doesn’t seem you’re all that serious.”

“I still have another year of law school and we’ve been working so much this summer. We have plenty of time to make plans. It’s not like we want something huge anyways.”

“You could include everyone in that elaborate proposal last summer and I found out from your mother. A week after the fact.”

“Why would I include you in anything when you were the reason we broke up?”

“Rafa.”

“No, Izz. We wouldn’t have lost those 6 weeks, I wouldn’t had almost failed a class if hadn’t been for his meddling.”

“One of these days, you’re gonna learn to respect me.”

“Like you’ve respected Mami over the years? That’s what kills you. You can’t control me anymore.”

“You’re not too old for a backhand with that smart mouth.”

“I dare you to try it.”

Izzy had never seen so much rage in Rafael’s green eyes. They were almost black.

“I tell you what. You get married whenever, wherever, and however you want. Don’t expect a dime from me. She gets pregnant before you graduate, you’re on your own.”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”  
______________________________________________________________________________  
“Hey, partner. You remember Maria?”

“Of course. Maria how are you,” Izzy asked as they hugged.

“So glad to be home,” she laughed. 

“Maria Grazie this is my fiancé Rafael Barba.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Maria.”

“You as well, Rafael.”

“Of course, Nick, you remember him.”

“Sure do. How are you, Rafael?”

“Good, Nick. You?”

“Just dealing with your fiancé for days on end,” he laughed.

“That’s no easy task, I assure you.”

“Okay, the two of you want to keep it up and Maria and I will go off by ourselves.”

“I have no problem with that, Izzy,” Maria readily agreed.

“Okay, we’ll stop,” Nick told them. “So, what’s the plan for the day?”

They ended up at that burger place in the Bronx, Maria had taken Nick to it when they first began dating.

Izzy wanted Rafael to understand that there was no reason for him to be jealous of her partner and wanted them to get to know each other better.

The four of them sat and laughed while eating and having a few beers. They had gotten up to leave when who should they run into at the same place yet again.

“You know there’s other places to eat, Rafi?” Alex laughed.

“Alex. How are you?” Rafael actually hugged him that time.

“Really good. About to start my last year at Fordham, being doing a lot of stuff around the community. Trying to raise money to get that old park we used to play at redone.”

“That’s great, Alex. Oh, these are our friends, Nick Amaro and Maria Grazie. This is my old friend Alex Munoz.”

“Nice to meet you and Izzy, always such a beauty.”

“Thank you, Alex,” she smiled politely.

“Sorry, I’m late Alex. Oh, Rafi? I didn’t realize you were here.”

“Yeah, Yelina. Just happened to meet Alejandro on our way out. You remember my fiancé?” He asked as he also introduced Maria and Nick to Yelina.

“You-your…you’re actually engaged now?”

“For about a year,” he smiled.

“So, when’s the big day?”

“Next December actually.”

“What about the whole end of the world thing?” Alex laughed. “Not giving yourself a lot of time.”

“I’m not buying into that shit. So, what about you two? Engaged? Any plans?”

“No,” Yelina replied sullenly.

“Oh. Well, you have plenty of time,” Rafael smiled that smartass smile of his.

“I hope I get an invite,” Alex actually said. 

Rafael wanted to laugh in his face but instead played it very politically in a way. “Not sure how big it’s going to be just yet. The engagement was pretty elaborate itself. Kinda hard to top. Eddie didn’t tell you about it?”

“Uh, no, but he’s been trying to take a few classes at Queensborough college. Thinking about becoming a corrections officer possibly. I don’t see him as often as I used to.”

“Oh. I knew he was taking classes. Told him if he needed any help, I was available this summer.”

“Well, I’m sure if he needs any help, he’ll call me. I mean, I’m sure your internship at the DA’s office takes up a lot of your time.”

“I make time for those who are important to me.”

Izzy just kind of looked at Nick and they both tried not to laugh.

“So, we have a movie to make,” Rafael told Alex. “It was so nice to see you two again.”

“Always a pleasure,” Alex replied. “Congratulations by the way.”

“Thank you. Well, I’m sure we’ll see each other again in a few years.”

Yelina just watched as the four of them left.

“Don’t start, Yelina.”

“I didn’t say anything, Alex.”

“I know that look.”

“You said after college…”

“I’m still in law school.”

“And? That didn’t stop Rafael.”

“I don’t know what you want from me.”

“I want you to be a man and make an honest woman out of me finally.”

Alex just sort of rolled his eyes as they sat at a table.  
____________________________________________________________________________  
“Nick is my partner and you two are just going to leave me and Maria alone for the day?”

“You wanted us to become friends,” Rafael laughed as he got ready to meet Nick so they could go to a Mets game. 

Izzy hated the Mets so when Rafael got the tickets from one of the ADA’s in the Brooklyn office, she told him to ask Tony or Nick. Tony was just like his twin, hated the Mets but loved the Yankees. Rafael didn’t care much for sports but he didn’t mind going to a game once in a while and he preferred the Yankees, too, but the tickets were free and behind third base so he wasn’t going to let them go to waste.

“Well, Maria and I are going to have a spa day while you two go sit out in the heat.”

“Have fun. You gonna do anything…special?”

“Are you referring to a waxing for some kind?”

“Maybe. We’re gonna be married in over a year. I don’t want to have go searching for it when I’m down there.”

“Shut up,” she laughed. “What about you?”

“Oh, hell no. You’re not getting hot wax anywhere near ‘little Rafael’.”

“He’s not so little, you know.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Well, you two have fun and don’t get too drunk.”

“I am a responsible member of society.”

“Rafa?”

“If you’re referring to the Red Sox/Yankees game of 96, talk to your brother.”

“You two, Ted, Andy, and Eddie got kicked out of Fenway!”

“We didn’t start the fight! Your brother’s always been a bad influence on me.”

“I’m sure he has. Behave.”

“I’ll be with a cop. I think I’ll be fine.”

“Okay. I bet that’s them now,” she said when she heard a knock on the door.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him to her for a kiss.

“Maybe I should skip the game.”

“Go let them in.”

The guys left and Maria and Izzy got ready to head out themselves.


	29. Chapter 29

“Dad what can I do for him?” Izzy asked Anthony as they sat out in his garage while he piddled around one November afternoon.

“Baby I really don’t know.”

“He said he will not spend Thanksgiving or Christmas with his father. Lucia expects me to fix it all but any time I’ve talked to him, he tells me ‘no’ or changes the subject.”

“When will he be home?”

“Sunday.”

“Why don’t you bring him over dinner? I’m off Sunday and Monday. I’ll…try to talk to him.”

“I don’t want to force him to do something he doesn’t want to do but I don’t want my future mother in law pissed off at me because her son has a mind of his own. We’re 25-years-old. I mean…”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, princess. You’re stuck between wanting to please Lucia and not wanting to upset Rafael.”

“We’re going to be getting married next year then kids will start coming after that. I don’t like Miguel but shouldn’t they know their grandparents?”

“I didn’t want my dad knowing you and your brother. He didn’t meet you two until you were almost 1 and even then, I was iffy.”

“It’s almost as if Lucia is hanging this all on Rafael and that’s not fair. Rafael has been standing up to his dad more and more. Lucia should’ve expected this by now.”

“Maybe she just thought that like she has, Rafael would let it go.”

“I think he’s just held it in so long that it’s finally coming out. Slowly at that.”

“I doubt I can talk him into Thanksgiving since it’s next week. Maybe Christmas though.”

“Thanks, Dad. I know he’ll listen to you.”

“Sure. Now, hand me that carburetor.”

“I didn’t come here to work.”

“You’re eating aren’t you? You don’t eat for free anymore, Officer.”

“Ugh, fine,” she laughed. “You think you’ll ever get this car finished?”

“One of these days. Maybe when I retire and I’m too old to enjoy it,” he told his daughter referring to the 68 Mustang he had been rebuilding over the last few years.  
__________________________________________________________________________________________  
“Babe I’m really tired. I just want to lay down and take a nap. I’ve been in a car with your brother for four hours, who almost killed us 3 times and I just want my bed.”

“I know but I told Dad we’d come over for dinner later.”

“And it’s only 12. I have plenty of time to shower and take a nap.”

“You didn’t shower last night?”

“Water is out in our building. You want to join me?”

“I could but don’t be trying anything. You know what happened the last time we did.”

“My shoulder hurts once cold weather sets in so yeah, I remember.”

“Why don’t you go take your shower and I’ll go take the dog for a walk?”

“Okay. Sounds good. I’m glad to be home,” he smiled as he kissed her long and good.

“So, am I.”

“Just a few more months.”

*BARK*

“Looks like someone else is happy you’re going to be home for good soon.”

“You realize he takes up the whole couch now?”

*ERRGGHHH*

“Are you kidding? He stood up on against the counter the other day and he towers over me.”

“Well, you are short, cariño.”

“Excuse me? You’re only 5’8 and some change.”

“But I more than make up for it,” he grinned as he pulled her into him.

“I thought you wanted a shower and then a nap?”

“Like we haven’t had sex after a run or a work-out? I’m not that dirty.”

“You can be very persuasive when you want to be, Mr. Barba.”

She yelped when he slapped her ass through the thin shorts she was wearing as he chased her into the bedroom.  
_______________________________________________________________________________  
“Didn’t I say 4:00?”

“Sorry, Dad,” Izzy laughed when they walked in around 4:30.

“Yeah, my nap went a little longer than I expected.”

“I’m sure it did,” Tony laughed.

“I spent four hours in a car with you. Ghandi would’ve wanted to throw himself into oncoming traffic just to keep you from killing him.”

“People were driving too slow.”

“Whatever.”

“Come on, Rafael. Let’s go out to the garage and have drink.”

“Sure, Anthony.”

“I can’t come?”

“You can come Junior but we’re gonna be talking about their wedding.”

“No, thank you. I’m fine watching TV.”

“No, you can go help your mother and sister.”

“They’ll be talking about wedding stuff, too. My job as best man is to plan the bachelor party. That’s as far as my planning goes.”

“Who said you were my best man?” Rafael asked him.

“Oh, you can marry my sister but I can’t be best man?”

“I haven’t even gotten that far. We have to pick a time and a place. Then we’ll start working on those details.”

“Come on. How far up on the list am I?”

“Above Alex?”

“That is fucked up!”

Rafael laughed as he followed Anthony outside.

Anthony reached into the mini-fridge and grabbed them each a Sam Adams.

“So, your fiancé came to me the other day,” Anthony started as they sat down.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. She told me that you refuse to spend the holidays around your father.”

“Every time we’re around him, he has to say something just to get under my skin and I am this close to knocking the shit out of him finally. I’m afraid if I do, I won’t stop.”

“I felt that way about my dad. I’m not advocating you beating up your father but all it took for me was the one punch and everything I had held onto, was gone in that instant. I watched as blood was flowing from his nose and thought, ‘now you’ve been where we’ve all been’. And that was that.”

Rafael just looked at the man that had been a better father to him in the last almost 6 years than his own father had been in 20.

“You know how important family is, son.”

“I know.”

“We don’t get to pick them, we don’t even have to love them, but sometimes for other’s sakes, we tolerate them.”

“You’re right.”

“I’m not telling you to go over there Thursday and pretend everything is okay. Just don’t engage if you don’t have to. Spend time with your grandmother and mom and my daughter. Then you’ll come over here and I’ll break out the good scotch,” he told him with a chuckle.

“That sounds like a good idea, Anthony.”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________  
“Amaro, Rossetti?”

“You wanted to see us, Harris?”

“Yeah. As of yesterday, you two are going to Major Case.”

“What?” Izzy asked.

“They need some help.”

“We’ve only been on the job for a year,” Nick told their now Lieutenant.

“And you both want to make detective, correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Here’s your shot. Captain Deakins needs two warm bodies. He asked for the two of you personally.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No, Izzy. I’m as surprised as you,” Harris attempted to joke. “We all know you two are good officers. Put your time in at Major Case, you’ll be approved for the detective exam a lot sooner than some.”

“Copy that, Lieu.”

“Clean out your desks and your car. Report to this address Monday morning at 8am.”

“We get a three day weekend? I can handle that,” Nick laughed.

“It’s actually a furlough since you’re changing departments. Oh, and hang up your uniforms. You’re going plain clothes.”

“Wow.”

“And that means, Izzy, business casual.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she muttered. “What shall we do this weekend?”

“Rafael coming in?”

“Nah. He’s got finals in two weeks. It’s crunch time.”

“Maria is at drill. I say we fuck shit up.”

“Not too much, please. You’re still members of the NYPD.”

“Yes, sir,” they laughed in unison.

“Okay. Go on and congratulations on your new assignment.”

“Thanks, Harris.”

“Oh, and Izzy?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t forget…”

“I know, Steven. If I need anything…”

“Doesn’t matter what departments we’re in, I’m still your Rabbi.”

“Got it.”

“Now get out of my office. I’m tired of looking at you.”


	30. Chapter 30

“Well, I think they should get married in church Rafi grew up in,” Lucia said as they had finally gotten their parents together at the beginning of 2000 to start planning their wedding.

“What’s wrong with the church my kids grew up in?” Stella asked.

Anthony had only agreed to be in the same room as Miguel as a favor to Rafael. Rafael didn’t really want him in their apartment but Lucia had insisted they would help cover the cost of some things. He was their only child after all.

Izzy and Rafael had prepared dinner for everyone, hoping the night would go half-way decent.

“We’ve already said that we don’t want something huge,” Rafael told them. “A few friends, family…not some big, ostentatious affair.”

“And what was your proposal?” Miguel asked after his third glass of Jack Daniel’s.

“It was thought out and planned. It’s not like I proposed in sky-writing,” he replied with a look that could’ve killed Miguel where he sat.

“Son calm down,” Anthony whispered noticing the change in his soon to be son-in-law’s demeanor.

“Oh, ‘son’, huh? Didn’t realize you created him, Captain,” Miguel snorted, stressing Anthony’s title.

“That’s all you did. You created me but when I was 6 years old, you made it clear you had no interest in being my father. I wasn’t the athlete you wanted.”

“Rafi.”

“No, Mom. I had surgery and you couldn’t be bothered to make the four hour trip to see me. You didn’t even tell my mother I was having surgery. You were too drunk to realize what Izzy told you. Anthony is the one that came and took care of me. He paid for it out of his pocket, he bought me insurance so I wouldn’t have to worry about getting sick again. What have you done? Oh, that’s right. You convinced my fiancé that she would be a distraction while I was in law school. You knew how sensitive she is and that she would take your words to heart, breaking mine in the process. That way, I’d fail out of law school and come right back to the Bronx. You can’t stand that I’m a better man you ever were.”

“Okay, let’s all calm down,” Stella said.

“You know what? I’m done with these wedding plans. Lucy let’s go.”

“Miguel just have a glass of water.”

“I said let’s go.”

“No,” she told him.

Seeing her son let into his father the way he did, gave her some strength to stand behind him.

“Fine. Stay here with them. I can get my own cab,” he said drunkenly before stumbling to the door and leaving.

“Well, he’ll have good luck getting home. I have our keys,” Lucia halfway laughed.

“Why don’t we put this stuff away and have a glass of wine?” Stella offered.

“I’d love that, Stella.”

Rafael walked off to the bedroom with Izzy hot on his heels.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he told her as he braced himself on the dresser.

“Come here,” she said as she took him in her arms.

“I just couldn’t hold it in any longer.”

“It’s okay.”

“I hate that man.”

“I know, baby.”

Riggs soon came in the room and started pawing at Rafael with a small whine.

“I’m fine, buddy,” he told him as he patted his head. “Okay, okay, get down,” he laughed when the dog stood up to lick his face. “God, he’s as tall as me.”

“And you’re short,” Izzy teased.

“Hush,” he smiled.  
______________________________________________________________

Everyone had decided to put any animosity aside so they could continue planning Rafael and Izzy’s upcoming December wedding.

However, after listening to their parents arguing over wedding plans for the 900th time, Rafael and Izzy had had enough. 

“You know what? We leave for Puerto Rico tomorrow for my last Spring break. Let’s just table everything right now and when we come back, we’ll pick this back up.”

Lucia, Miguel, Anthony, and Stella all kind of looked each other.

“That’s fair,” Stella spoke up. 

“Absolutely,” Lucia agreed.

“I’m just saying we have family that don’t speak much English.”

“And so do we,” Anthony answered Miguel.

“Okay. Just stop! Please. This is supposed to be a beautiful occasion and you guys are ruining it,” Rafael told them. “I still have two months of law school. We’re not getting married until December as it is. It’s enough.”

“He’s right. We’re sorry,” Lucia said. “You guys go on your vacation and relax.”

“Thank you.”

“Come on, Miguel. Stella, Anthony thank you for dinner. It was great as always.”

“You’re welcome.”

Once Rafael’s parents left, Anthony poured them both a glass of scotch. “Sorry things got a little out of hand at dinner.”

“I just want you guys to get along. You know somewhere down the line you guys will have grandchildren in common.”

“I get it.”

“My father is jealous of my relationship with you so that’s not helping matters.”

“You don’t say,” Anthony chuckled. “Look you guys go on your vacation and how about we wait until after you and Tony graduate to pick the plans back up?”

“Thank you, Anthony.”

“No problem, son.”

“Babe I’m done helping Ma clean up. You ready to go?”

“Sure,” he smiled.

They got to Izzy’s apartment in Fort Greene and started to finish packing for the trip they were taking with Eddie, Lorena, Nick, Maria, Tony, and Erin who was coming in from Chicago.

“Ugh, you know the way our parents were arguing over our wedding…makes me want to say, ‘fuck it’ and just run off to Niagara Falls or Vegas even.”

“Raf come on.”

“I’m serious, Izz. They don’t even care about what we want. Our fathers are arguing over what the language the ceremony should be in. Our mothers are fighting over which church. It’s enough already. I thought the day was supposed to be about us.”

“Look, we’re gonna go on vacation. We’re gonna have a nice, relaxing time. No law school, no NYPD. Just fun with our friends…and my brother.”

“You’re right,” he said with a smile. “And then in two months, I will officially be living here with you, we’ll be married a few months later, and we can start that family we’ve been talking about.”

“And you’re serious, you want 6 kids?”

“5 or 6, yeah.”

“You realize I’m the one that has to carry all these babies you want?”

“We can adopt a few of them if you wanted.”

“Maybe,” she contemplated. “Are you packed?”

“All finished. I have all over our travel documents in this envelope.”

“Always so organized.”

“One of us has to be,” he smirked. 

“I am organized.”

“Have you seen your desk?”

“Hush.”  
____________________________________________________________________________  
“This place is nice,” Tony mused when they got to the Rincon Beach Resort in Puerto Rico on that March Saturday. “Check it out. They have a bar in the pool.”

“Man, if you get drunk and drowned, I hope Erin can give you mouth to mouth cause I tap out,” Eddie laughed.

“I’m not touching him,” Erin retorted.

They were taken to their rooms so they could get settled. Izzy went out on the balcony and noticed a couple getting married on the beach. It seemed to be the bride and groom and a few of their friends. It was simple and kind of sweet.

“Maybe that’s what we should do,” she laughed after Rafael joined her.

“You want to?”

“Rafa…”

“What? We’re here, it’s beautiful, we have our friends. Why not?”

“You’re serious?”

“Sure. I can’t wait to marry you. So, why should we?”

She sat and kind of looked at her fiancé for a minute. “Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, let’s get married while we’re here. I have a white sundress similar to that girl’s. Her new husband is wearing khaki shorts and a white shirt, which I’m sure you packed something like that.”

“Come on. Let’s go see what we have to do.”  
__________________________________________________________________________  
“You’re kidding, right?”

“No, Tony. We’re tired of our parents fighting and it would just be simple.”

“Well, I’m in,” Eddie said.

“Me, too,” Lorena and Erin chimed.

Nick and Maria also readily agreed.

“I need a best man, Tony.”

He looked at his longtime roommate and best friend before shaking his hand.

“Alright. Hell, saving Mom and Dad money will probably make them happy. So, when is this going down?”

“Thursday. We go Monday to get our marriage license.”

“That means bachelor party on Wednesday!”

“Tony!”

“Oh, come on, sis. He’s fixing to be tied to you for the rest of his life. Let him have some fun.”

“Whatever,” she laughed.

“These three can probably find something for you, too, Izz,” Nick laughed.

“Zip it, Amaro.”

“I won’t let them get me into any trouble, mi amor.”  
_______________________________________________________  
“I can’t believe we’re actually doing this,” Izzy laughed as they looked for rings at a place they were referred to by the resort staff after they got their marriage license.

“You’re not having second thoughts are you?”

“Not at all, Rafa. Here, what about those?”

“Your engagement ring is white gold so yeah, those will work.”

“Erin, Maria, and Lorena were going to find dresses that are the same color.” 

“Oh, jeez,” he chuckled. “So, we’re getting married in a few days, going home to New York husband and wife.”

“Then you have to go back to Harvard Sunday.”

“But I’ll be back home Thursday night just like usual.”

“Very true and it’s only two months.”

“That’s right.”

“I’ll have to go get my name changed when we get home, too.”

“You’re gonna take my name?”

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re gonna be my husband.”

“I love you,” he smiled.

“I love you, too.”  
________________________________________________________________________  
Their wedding was everything they wanted. Small, quiet, no big party. Just them and a few friends. After the dinner that was provided in their package, they found a nightclub not far from the resort. The eight of them sat around, drinking beer and talking. 

“You’re a married man now, Rafi.”

“Yes, I am and happily at that, Eddie.”

“Well, congratulations again, hermano. See? What did I tell you 6 years ago, Izzy?”

“Technically we’re not dancing, Eddie.”

“But you still got married,” Lorena laughed.

“That’s true. I guess you were right, Eddie.”

“You guys gotta have a first dance.”

“I don’t think this song is really ‘first dance’ material, Tony,” Rafael laughed as he took a drink of his beer.

With that, Tony got up from their table and went and talked to the DJ.

“What did you do, Junior?”

“Nothing,” he lied to sister when he came back.

Just then the DJ got on the microphone to announce he was “going to slow things down for just a minute as there was a recently married couple in their presence” before he started playing “I’ll Stand By You” by The Pretenders. 

“Aww, it’s your song,” Erin teased.

“Well, mi amor, would you care to join me for our first dance as husband and wife?”

“Oh sure,” she laughed as she playfully threw her hands up before giving one to her husband.

“You look so beautiful tonight,” he told her as they danced.

“You don’t look so bad yourself.”

“How about, after this we go back to our room and consummate this marriage?”

“You read my mind. Not to put a damper on this moment but condom or no?”

“I say no. We’re adults. You have a good job, I’m going to in a few months. Let’s let whatever is meant to happen, happen.”

“Okay.”  
______________________________________________________________  
They couldn’t keep their hands off of each other in the elevator at their resort.

“No, not in here,” she said with labored breath as she pushed her new husband away lightly.

“Ugh, why won’t this fucking card work?” Rafael groaned as he tried to open the door. The light finally turned green and he opened the door. His hands fumbled with the zipper on the back of the strapless sundress his now wife was wearing and she unbuttoned his shirt.

They were soon naked and rolling around in the king sized bed in their room. Instinct overtook him as he reached for his wallet before his wife slapped it out of his hand.

“Force of habit, baby,” he laughed. Not once in 6 years had they ever not used a condom. It was much too risky and they weren’t letting anything derail their plans.

“Oh god,” he shuddered as he entered her for the first time without anything between them. “You feel so good.” 

“Fuck, Rafael…this…oh god,” she moaned. She had her legs wrapped tightly around him as he pounded into her, sweat pouring from both of them.

The grip he had on her hips was sure to leave bruises but she didn’t mind. They had learned how to please each other over the last 6 years but there was something different about that night. Maybe it was the high of the day and finally getting married. This was a feeling like no other.   
_____________________________________________________________________  
“Tony don’t tell mom and dad. Let us do it,” his sister told him as they waited for their luggage at JFK. 

“I won’t. I’m going home and going to sleep.”

“I mean it.”

“I said I won’t. Erin gonna call you when she gets to O’Hare?”

“Yeah. You two didn’t hook-up the whole time we were gone?”

“Just once,” Tony shrugged. “She got her period the day you guys got married.”

“You had plenty of time before Thursday,” his sister snorted.

“Okay we got our luggage so we’re heading home,” Eddie told them. “We had fun. We gotta do this again.”

“You don’t have predictions as to when I’ll be pregnant?”

“I stop at reproduction,” Eddie laughed as he hugged Izzy. “Take care of him, Mrs. Barba.”

“I will. Not to worry.”

“Never have been. We’ll see you guys.”

“Hey, thanks for a fun vacation,” Nick said as he and Maria came up with their luggage.

“Thank you guys for coming,” Izzy told her partner as they hugged. “You’re next,” she whispered.

“Maybe,” he chuckled.

“So, when are we going to tell our parents?” Rafael asked his new wife as he picked up their suitcase.

“We’re going to Mom and Dad’s tomorrow.”

“Okay, so we can tell them and then go tell mine.”

“Works for me. For now, I’m ready to get home.”

“Well, let’s go, my beautiful wife.”

“Right behind you, my handsome husband.”  
_______________________________________________________________________  
“There you two are,” Stella said as her daughter and now son-in-law walked into their house. “Tell me about your trip.”

“Let’s us get in the door, Ma,” Izzy laughed. “Didn’t Tony tell you anything?”

“You know how he is about details. Oh, really quick, if you guys are up for it, we might can reserve the Greenpoint Loft for your reception.”

“Now, Stella, I told Rafael we would talk more about that stuff after he graduates law school in May.”

“Okay, okay.”

“Listen, we need to talk to you guys about something anyways.”

“Is everything okay? Did something happen on your vacation? Tell me you guys didn’t change your mind.”

“No, Ma. Sit down.”

“You two are scaring me.”

“Everything’s fine, Mom, really. Uh, actually while we were in Puerto Rico, we…we got married.”

“What?”

“Yeah. We just thought it would be easier that way.”

“You two went to Puerto Rico and got married?”

“Yes, we did, Anthony,” Rafael spoke up. 

“Without your family?”

“Yeah, Pop. We just got tired of the fighting back and forth between you guys and Rafael’s parents.”

“You two didn’t even think about your families when you did that?”

“Dad…”

“I have treated you like a son. I trusted you with my daughter for 6 years and this is how you repay me, Rafael?”

“Anthony we didn’t…”

“I have taught my daughter how important family is and you know that. Instead of taking that to heart, you take my daughter to Puerto Rico, and marry her?”

“Dad stop! This isn’t his fault.”

“She’s right,” Stella added.

“I can’t believe your brother allowed this.”

“I am 25-years-old. He doesn’t dictate my life.”

“I’m not going to sit here and be disrespected like this. After everything I have done for you, Rafael you are no longer welcome in my house.”

“Anthony!”

“Dad!”

“No, Stella. How he can sit there and act like this is okay? They think we are supposed to be happy about this.”

“Raf don’t go…”

“It’s fine, Izz.”

“No, it’s not. If he’s not welcome in your house then maybe I’m not either.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“He’s my husband and you’re not going to treat him like this. He did nothing wrong.”

“Izzy, Rafael, don’t go.”

“Ma I’m sorry. We didn’t do this other than fact that we were tired of you arguing. No one would listen to us. No one asked us what we wanted. It was supposed to be our wedding.”

“She was right, you know,” Stella said turning to her husband after they left. “We didn’t listen to them. That day wasn’t about any of us. It was about our kids. Yet, all we did was shove our ideas down their throats.”

“That still doesn’t give them the right to run off like they did.”

“I’m honestly surprised they didn’t do it sooner.”

“He’s going to be at law school while his wife is here alone.”

“For two months, Anthony, and he has been commuting back and forth almost every week since last year.”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, Stella. I trusted him with her.”

“And there’s no reason you can’t continue to do so.”  
________________________________________________________________________________________  
“You two got married while you were on vacation?”

“Mami we were tired of the arguing between the four of you. I know you wanted…”

“Nonsense. I’m just happy you’re happy,” she beamed as she hugged her son and now daughter in law.

“We have some pictures.”

“You two look so happy.”

“We really are, Mami. That was the greatest day of our lives.”

“Miguel? Miguel. Look.”

“Yeah. I see them. So, are you pregnant?”

“What?!”

“Don’t you dare talk to her like that,” Rafael spat.

“Well, why the rush?”

“Because like I said we were tired of everyone arguing over where and what language all that shit. Nobody was listening to us.”

“Fine, whatever. So, I guess we’ll have our first grandchild in what, 5-6 months?”

Rafael couldn’t stop himself at that point as he lunged and knocked the hell out of his dad.

“Rafi!”

“Come on. I dare you to get back up,” he told Miguel who sat in the floor holding his lip.

“Didn’t think you had it in you but you finally proved you were a man.”

“I proved that a long time ago. It didn’t have to be this way.”  
_________________________________________________________________________  
“That was a lovely evening,” Rafael scoffed as he plopped down on the couch with Riggs laying his head on his Daddy’s leg. “The one person I respect the most hates me.” 

“He doesn’t hate you, Rafa. He’s just upset. He’ll calm down.”

“I can’t believe you walked out with me like you did.”

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re my husband. I’m on your side now.”

“You weren’t before?” He teased.

“You know what I meant.”

“I just didn’t want to start our marriage off like this.”

“It’s going to be fine.”

“And I really don’t want to leave you tomorrow to deal with the fallout.”

“I will be okay. Don’t worry so much.”

“That’s gonna be hard.”

“Come on. It’s been a long day. Why don’t we get in bed?”

“Sounds good,” he smiled. “I love you, Mrs. Barba.”

“I love you, too, Mr. Barba.”

*BARK, BARK*

“We love you too, Riggs Barba,” Izzy laughed.


	31. Chapter 31

“You feeling okay, partner?” Nick asked Izzy after she made pull their squad car over to throw up.

“Yeah. I must’ve ate something that didn’t agree with me.”

“You’ve been throwing up a lot the last few days.”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Uh yeah, you have,” he laughed. “Are you pregnant or something?”

“No. Couldn’t be.”

“You sure?”

“Uh, yeah. Come on. We’ve got work to do.”

She sat and thought about what her partner said. Rafael hadn’t been home in a few weeks due to his graduation creeping up. Izzy was still stressed about the animosity between her and Rafael and her dad. Both of them were stubborn so an apology wouldn’t be coming from either of them any time soon.

After her shift ended, she walked into that empty apartment to be met by Riggs. She looked at the calendar and realized Nick might be right.

She picked her purse up and headed to a drugstore not far from her building.  
_____________________________________________________________  
“Hello?” 

“Ma?”

“Baby what’s wrong?” She asked her daughter as she could tell she was crying.

“Can you come to my apartment?”

“Sure. Give me about 20 minutes, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks.”

She sat and waited on her mom to show up and within in 20 minutes, she was there.

“Are you okay?” Stella asked as she pushed her hair out of her daughter’s face.

“Uh, yeah.”

“You called me in tears so that doesn’t exactly say you’re okay to me.”

“Okay. Well, I’m…I’m pregnant.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ve been getting sick lately and I realized I was late when I got off work.”

“Have you told Rafael?”

“Not yet.”

“Why are you crying? A baby is a blessing.”

“No, I know. I’m just…I’m scared.”

“Well, you gotta get to the doctor and get yourself checked out.”

“Dr. Mitchell can actually see me tomorrow so I told Deakins I needed to take a personal day. I didn’t think it would happen so soon.”

“It’s gonna be okay. I was just a little younger than you when I had you and your brother.”

“I know.”

“You need to call your husband and tell him the good news.”

“I will tomorrow.”

“Your dad will be so happy.”

“Don’t tell him, yet, please. I want to tell Rafael before anyone else finds out.”

“Your secret’s safe with me.”  
__________________________________________________________________________  
“I can’t believe you’re pregnant,” Rafael smiled when he came in from law school.

“According to the timeline, I got pregnant that week we got married.”

“And everything…”

“Looks good.”

“Wow.”

“Are you okay with this?”

“Of course, I am. We said we were going to let what was meant to happen happen, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I was hoping to turn the extra room into a home office but I’ll happily give it up for our baby.”

“Don’t tell Tony yet, okay.”

“Shouldn’t we be happy about this?”

“Yes, and I am but I just don’t want too many people knowing yet.”

“This is about your dad, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged.

“I’ll go…”

“No. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“This can’t keep going with us and him. Especially now that there’s a baby on the way.”

“We’ll talk to him at graduation.”

“Okay. Now, next thing, you need to tell your boss.”

“Deakins will chain me to the desk as soon as he can.”

“It’s to protect you and the baby.”

“I know. Okay. I’ll tell him when I go back to work Sunday.”

“Thank you.”

Riggs seemed to know about the change as he laid he head gently on Izzy’s belly.  
_________________________________________________________________________  
“I hope Rafael doesn’t expect me to speak to him today.”

“Anthony you need to end this,” Stella told her husband as they drove to Cambridge for Tony’s graduation.

“You know that I had been waiting on the day when my daughter would put on the white dress and I would walk her down the aisle…”

“Oh, Anthony just stop! Two months this has been going on and that’s too long.” 

“What do you want me to do?”

“Be an adult! You’re going to be a grandparent by Christmas!” Stella had forgotten in that split second that she had promised her daughter she wouldn’t tell anyone.

Anthony was trying hard to concentrate on the road while processing what his wife just said.

“Did you just…”

“I wasn’t supposed to say anything but yes. Your daughter is pregnant with your first grandchild, she’s due right around Christmas. If you want to be in our grandchild’s life, then I suggest you put this all to rest, and get over it. They’re married, they did it their way, and we can’t fault them for that.”

“You’re right,” he admitted after a few moments of silence.

“I know I am,” she told her husband of nearly 27 years.

They got to the graduation but Anthony didn’t see his daughter anywhere. She was sitting with Lucia and Rafael’s Abuelita. 

After the ceremony ended, Izzy was standing with her mother in law while she waited for her brother and husband to make it out.

“Congratulations, princess,” she heard her father say from behind her.

“What?”

“Your mom let it slip. I’m sorry. About everything.”

“I’m sorry, too. I…we didn’t…”

“I know. I was being stubborn and selfish. You were right. We weren’t listening to what you two wanted. That was our faults.”

“You know Rafael…”

“I know,” he smiled once he let his daughter go. “So, I’m gonna be grandfather?” he whispered.

“Not so loud. Lucia and Lina don’t know yet.”

“Sorry,” he chuckled.

“Well we made it,” Tony announced when he and his brother in law walked up.

Anthony was the first to grab his son in law and hug him. “Congratulations…on everything,” he told him.

“Uh…um, thank you, Anthony.”

“You’re gonna do good.”

“I had a good teacher,” he replied with a small smile, knowing what he was referring to.

“What’s going on,” Tony asked.

“Nothing, Junior. Rafael take a walk with me.”

“Uh, okay. I’ll be back, mi amor. At least I hope.”

“It’ll be fine,” she laughed.

“I owe you an apology, son.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do. I only have one daughter and I’ve always been protective of her. I’ve waited on her wedding day since the first time I held her. I understand why you two did what you did. We weren’t making it easy and we weren’t listening. I am glad, that even if I couldn’t be there, it was still beautiful. I could see in the pictures how happy she was that day.”

“I just wanted to marry her as soon as I could. And honestly, we were just tired of no one listening to what we wanted. I mean I understand you were paying for it but…”

“The day was supposed to reflect the two of you, not your parents.”

“So, we’re okay?”

“Of course, son. You are welcome in my home any day of the week at any time.”

“Thank you.”

“Now, about this grandbaby that’s on the way…”

“Wasn’t planned.”

“I don’t care. Don’t ever doubt yourself. You’re going to be one hell of a father.”

“Thank you.”  
_______________________________________________________________  
“What are you doing, cariño?” Rafael asked as he came out of the bathroom brushing his teeth.

“Practicing my breathing.”

“The baby isn’t due for 6 more months,” he chuckled.

“I know but it’s never too early to start.”

“So, when are we going to tell everyone else?”

“Well, I am out of my first trimester and she’s growing like she should be.”

“He.”

“We’ll find out next month. When will you find out if you passed the bar?”

“It’s gonna be a few more weeks. Until then, I’m just stuck doing grunt work but at least I’m getting paid.”

“That’s a plus. Tony’s doing the same thing for the Queens’ DA?”

“Yeah. He seems…I don’t know. He’s just staying really busy.”

“I think he misses Erin.”

“Why didn’t she just move out here and join the NYPD?”

“Chicago is her home, love.”

“She still in patrol?”

“Yeah. She said something about transferring to Narcotics possibly. Funny thing is, she works in the same District as my ex-boyfriend.”

“Ex-boyfriend?”

“Yeah, Antonio. The one before you? You met him like our junior year of college?”

“Oh, the Dominican guy?”

“Yeah, him. His wife is expecting their first child, too.”

“Good for them. You seem to have a thing for Hispanic men,” he joked.

“Come to think of it, that is kind of true. My very first boyfriend was Puerto Rican. I dated a few Puerto Ricans actually. There were a couple of Italian guys in there. Then Antonio and I married a Cuban-American. You and Antonio were my most serious relationships.”

“What?” He asked when he noticed his wife kind of laugh to herself.

“I was thinking about something Erin said when we were Sophomores in college.”

“Which was?”

“Nobody marries their first.”

“I guess we proved her wrong.”

“Do you ever regret that you didn’t get more experience?”

“I have plenty of experience. We learned together. Figured out what we liked and what we didn’t. I have no regrets that I’ve only been with one woman. When I’m 70 years old and someone asks me how many women I’ve had in my life, I’ll be proud to say, ‘One and I married her’.”

“Awww. You’re the sweetest, you know that.”

“It’s true. Now, put that book down so you and our baby can get some rest,” he said as he lifted her shirt and kissed her belly then her.

“I love you, Raf.”

“I love you, more.”

“Never.”

“We’ll just have to agree to disagree, mi reina.”

*ERRGGGHHH*

“Oh, Riggs, you big baby, we love you, too.”

He immediately rolled off his back onto his feet.

“No, sir. Not in Mommy and Daddy’s bed,” Rafael instructed.

*HMMMMMM*

“I mean it. Mommy needs the room.”

“Rafa!”

“What? He needs to get used to not being in the bed with us.”

He started pawing at Rafael. “End of the bed, Riggs.”

He listened to his command and crawled onto the end of their bed.  
__________________________________________________________  
“So, we’re just supposed to believe you two got married in Puerto Rico and she got pregnant down there?” Miguel asked when they broke the news.

“That’s what happened, Dad. It was the first time we never used anything.”

“If you say so.”

“I don’t even know we bothered coming over here.”

“Rafa.”

“I would think that the fact you’re getting a grandchild might stop you from being such an alcoholic asshole but I guess I was wrong.”

“Don’t you talk to me like that in my house,” Miguel scolded his son.

“Your house? My grandparents own this apartment. You don’t. Yeah, you didn’t think I knew that, did you? Abuelito, god rest his soul, bought this place so I’d have a decent place to   
live.”

Miguel just looked at his son.

“You know what? Don’t bother showing up when your grandchild is born.”  
_________________________________________________________________  
“Rafa we didn’t need all this stuff,” Izzy laughed after they received a huge delivery from a baby store not far from their apartment. “I’m gonna have a shower. Campisi is already going crazy.”

“I know. I went a little wild. I just…I want her to have everything.”

“You and my dad are crazy.”

“Hey, he said that since he didn’t have to spend your ‘wedding fund’…I mean all I picked out at first was the crib, changing table, and the rocking chair. He laughed and said, ‘my   
granddaughter is going to need more than that’,” he laughed doing an almost spot-on impression of his father-in-law, who resembled a younger Robert DeNiro and had a lot of the same facial expressions. 

“I know. He told me that he gave you permission to get whatever you wanted. He sounded disappointed that you didn’t get more.”

“Oh, here.”

“Nipple butter?”

“You plan on breast feeding and I read that you’ll get all dry and cracked…”

“Okay, Raf! Thank you for…thinking of me.”

“Eddie is gonna come over and help me but the crib together Saturday.”

“I’ll make a lasagna or something then.”

“Sounds great. So, in 2 more months we get to meet our little girl.”

“Are you excited?”

“I really am,” he replied with a smile. “I still can’t believe it happened so fast. We used condoms for 6 years and the first time I didn’t, you happened to be ovulating.”

“It was a few days early for me, too, by my math.”

“Oh, well. It was obviously meant to be. Just like we were.”

“I guess so.”

“Okay, I have some files to go over for this case I’m working on.”

“Your dinner is in the microwave.”

“Thank you, baby. Don’t stay up too late waiting on me.”

“Trust me, as much as your daughter was moving around today, that won’t be a problem,” she laughed.  
______________________________________________________________  
“Hey, Izz?”

“Yeah, Nick.”

“You okay?” He asked as he saw a strange look on his partners face as they sat at their desks.

“The baby is just moving around a lot.”

“You’re due in, what, 3 weeks?”

“Yeah, rough- ow! Oh, damn.”

“What’s wrong?”

“My water just broke.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m pretty sure, Nick.”

“Okay, come on. I’ll let Deakins know,” he said as he ran into their Captain’s office, who wasn’t there but he found Detective Robert Goren instead.

“What do you need me to do, Izz?”

“Uh, call the DA’s office.”

“Okay, Amaro, get her to the hospital. I’ll call Barba.”

“Thanks, Bobby.”

“Okay, come on, Izz.”  
_____________________________________________________________________  
“Hey, that was Goren,” Nick said flipping his phone closed. “Barba’s in court but he was gonna go to the courthouse and wait on him.”

“Okay, thanks, Nick. Go back to the office. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m not leaving until Barba gets here.”

“My mom and mother in law will be here before too long.”

“When somebody gets here, then I’ll leave but I’m not leaving you alone.”

“How’s Mommy feeling?”

“The contractions haven’t been too bad, Dr. Mitchell. At least not yet.”

“Good,” doctor smiled. “Rafael on his way?”

“Some time. He’s in court right now.”

“Well, you’ve got a ways to go so I doubt he’ll miss anything. I’ll be back later to check on you again.”

“You need anything?”

“I’m fine, Nick. Thanks.”

“Are you gonna do this naturally?”

“Not if I can help it,” she managed to laugh. “They can give me all the drugs they possibly have.”

About an hour later, Goren came in. “Guess who I found?”

“Hey, baby,” she smiled when she saw her husband.

“Judge granted a recess for the rest of the day.”

“Good.”

“Her contractions are getting a little worse," Nick told him.

“Thanks for getting her here, Amaro.”

“Of course. That’s what partners do, right? Look out for each other.”

“Glad she has one like you,” Rafael said as they shook hands.

“I’m gonna go back to the office and finish up our paperwork. Good luck, partner.”

“Thanks, Nick.”

“Call if you two need anything,” Goren told them before following Amaro out.

“How far dilated are you?”

“About 4cm.”

“So not even halfway there.”

“Not yet. I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Of course, mi amor. The judge received a message and told me to approach the bench, I saw Goren and I knew.”

“Mom was going to our apartment to get our bags and the car seat.”

“Good,” he smiled as he pushed her hair out of her face. “You look beautiful.”

“Babe I’m in labor.”

“So? Doesn’t make it any less true.”

“You’re so sweet.”  
____________________________________________________________  
“Okay, Izzy, you’ve got to keep pushing.”

“I can’t,” she said with tears falling down her cheeks. “It hurts.”

“I know it does. I’m sorry you missed the epidural but we have to keep going.”

“I’m trying.”

“Come on, baby, she’s almost here,” Rafael told her as he held her.

“You do it for me?”

“I’m not a seahorse, mi amor.”

“Why not?”

“Come on, Izzy just one more.”

She pushed one last time and they heard the cries of their daughter.

“She’s here,” Rafael said through his tears. “You did so good.”

“Would you like to cut the cord, Daddy?” The nurse asked him.

“Uh sure. Wow, that’s kind of spongy,” he laughed for a minute. She was cleaned up and placed in her mother’s arms.

“She’s beautiful,” Izzy said as she ran her hand over the baby girl’s blond hair.

“Do we have a name?”

“Camila. Camila Luciana.”

“I’ll make sure they know,” Dr. Mitchell smiled. “We’ll get you moved into a room soon, Izzy.”

“Okay, thank you. Rafael you want to hold your daughter?”

“Yeah,” he said quietly. He watched as she just looked at him while he talked to her in Spanish. “We did good, huh?”

“Yeah, we really did. I love you.”

“I love you, more.”


	32. Chapter 32

“You guys, she’s so beautiful,” Alexandria Eames, one of the Senior Detectives in Major Crimes gushed as she held baby Cami.

“Thanks, Alex. How’s work going?”

“Without you? Horrible. Not everyone can handle Bobby like you and me,” she laughed.

“Well, I have 7 more weeks.”

“You better hope I make it that long,” she joked. 

Riggs sat at attention at anyone that held Cami besides Raf and Izzy. He was tall enough that he could peek over her crib when they laid her down and would watch her like a hawk until he got tired and would fall asleep in front of the crib. He was very protective to say the least.

“He’s not going to attack me, is he?”

“No,” Rafael laughed. “He just keeps a watchful eye.”

Izzy could tell Alex was feeling a little down. Her husband, Joe, had been murdered and her dreams of having a family had been squashed in that instance.

Alex stayed for about an hour before getting a call on a case. “Hurry back,” she laughed as she hugged Izzy.

“I think she’s hungry,” Izzy said as Cami started fussing.

“Well, whip it out,” Rafael laughed.

“Rafa!”

“Well, that’s what you do. You whip out your boob and let her go to town. Tell me that nipple butter isn’t going to come in handy.”

“Why did I marry you?”

“You really want me to answer that?”

“I’d rather you didn’t,” she chuckled.

She sat and fed Cami and burped her.

“Are you expecting company?” Rafael asked as they heard a knock on their door.

“No. You?”

“Hmm. Nope,” he said as he got up and went to see who was at the door.

“Merry Christmas!” Anthony announced as he came in with a bag of toys.

“Dad!” Izzy laughed.

“Oh, come on. My first grandchild was born two weeks before Christmas. You really think I’m not going to spoil her?”

“You’re going to ruin her.”

“Like I did you,” he asked his daughter.

“Ha ha.”

“Let Pop-Pop take his girl. Look at that blond hair. Just like your Mommy.”

Rafael and Izzy just watched as Anthony talked to his granddaughter and sort of bounced her around. “Your Mommy used to love this.”

Another knock soon hit their door.

“Was Mom meeting you?”

“Not to my knowledge, Izz.”

Rafael answered the door and Izzy could hear his words. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I…*hiccup* came to see my granddaughter,” Miguel answered.

“No, you didn’t. I told you, through that glass at the hospital only.”

“You can’t keep me from my only grandchild.”

“I can’t? I’m her father!”

“And you’re already so much better than me after a week?”

“Yeah, I am. I’d give my life for that girl.”

“Just let me see her,” Miguel said as he tried to barge into their apartment.

“I said no!” Rafael said as he pushed him back. Anthony heard the commotion and went to the door.

“Is there a problem, Rafael?”

“My father was just leaving.”

“I want to see my granddaughter.”

“Over my dead body. You feel lucky, Miguel?”

“Oh, of course, the big hero firefighter is here,” he mocked. 

“I’m gonna tell you this one time and one time only. You come near my granddaughter without permission, try to barge to my kids apartment again, my whole battalion will be on you like stink on shit. Your body will never be found. Capisce?” 

“They can’t keep her away from me forever.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. Your son and my daughter don’t ever have to bring her around you. And just so you know, I didn’t just make a threat. I made a promise.”

Miguel just threw up his hands and walked off.  
_______________________________________________________________________  
“You will not hire a nanny,” Lina laughed as they took the one month old Cami to see her Bibi.

“Abuelita…”

“I can come and watch her for you two.”

“We couldn’t ask you to…”

“Nonsense, Rafi. I would be glad to do it.”

“Abuelita sometimes we work 12 hours or more.”

“And? Are you saying I’m old?”

“Not at all,” Rafael laughed. “¿Estás Seguro (are you sure)?”

“Sí. No me encantaría nada más (Yes, I am. I would love nothing more).”

“What do you think, mi amor?”

“I think it would be great, Abuelita,” Izzy smiled. “She could learn a lot from you.”

“Then it’s settled. Oh, I love you three so much,” Lina gushed. “So, when can I expect the next one?”

“Abuelita…” Rafael groaned.

“I’m just kidding,” she laughed.  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
They had Cami bundled up in her stroller as they walked to the subway station not far from Lina’s apartment.

“Rafi?”

They both knew the voice.

“Alex. How are you?”

“Good! I’m great! I heard you guys got married and had a baby. Is this her?”

“No. Ours is in the shop, Alejandro,” he smarted off. “Yes. This is our daughter Camila.”

“She’s absolutely beautiful. Look at the blond hair.”

Cami immediately started crying when Alex touched her head so Rafael scooped her up quick. “Shhh. It’s okay, baby girl. Daddy’s got you.”

“Wow. You’re a natural,” Alex mused.

“I do what I can. Where’s Yelina?”

“Out with some friends.”

“I see. So, you guys any closer…”

“Actually yeah. Glad I ran into you so I can get your address. You guys have to come.”

“Well, we are new parents now, Alex.”

“It’s not for a few months. Surely you guys can make it.”

Rafael gave him their address begrudgingly. “We really need to get Cami home, Alejandro.”

“Of course. Sorry to keep you guys. Please tell me you’ll be there.”

“Like I said, we’ll do our best,” Rafael told him.  
_________________________________________________________________________________  
It had been a little over a month since Cami was born and Rafael was hornier than ever. He wanted to have sex so bad but because she had to have a couple of stitches, he was scared to death of hurting her. She was feeling it to. She wanted her husband inside of her more than anything. 

He was taking a shower after they hadn’t gotten Cami to sleep so Izzy thought she would join him. They had gotten better at shower sex after their first time and she been on the pill since giving birth. She slowly walked in to find him going at himself.

“Raf?”

“Huh?!” He asked, startled.

“What are you doing?”

“I was…I was just…”

“We don’t have to wait any longer. I told you that.”

“I know but…I’m afraid of hurting you.”

“You haven’t hurt me once in 7 years and besides, you know you don’t have to hide this.”

“You want to finish me off?”

“You want to finish off inside of me?”

“Get in here,” he said as he but his bottom lip.


	33. Chapter 33

Izzy was in the kitchen cooking dinner while waiting on her hard working ADA to get home. He was getting shit cases but he needed the experience before he could become the badass she knew he was meant to be. 

Cami was sitting in her swing while she watched her mom sing and dance to some random 80s cd. She was too young to laugh but she still seemed to be enjoying the entertainment.

Izzy still had two weeks of maternity leave and she was doing everything she could to stay busy.

“I’m home!” She heard her husband call, followed by the dog barking. 

“In the kitchen.”

“There’s my favorite girl,” he said as he picked up his daughter.

“Excuse me?” Izzy asked, feigning offense.

“You’re my favorite woman, mi amor.”

“Nice save,” she laughed. “How was your day?”

“Horrible. I’m getting stuck with petty theft and assault cases that don’t amount to shit. They don’t challenge me.”

“You’ll get there, honey.”

“I know. I just have to pay my dues but some of these ADA’s that started at the same as me came from second rate law schools.”

“Are they getting better cases than you?”

“Not really.”

“Okay. Just keep working like you are and you’ll get those tough cases. The ones that will keep you up all hours of the night and cause you to have an ulcer,” she chuckled as she handed him a glass of scotch.

“I could get used to you being at home.”

“You and I both know we can’t afford that. Not if you want 4 or 5 more kids.”

“True. Take her so I can get out of my coat and jacket at least.”

“Okay.”

“Does she need to be fed?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“Sure. Just unlatch one of your breast and I’ll take her to her room.”

“There’s bottles made up, ass.”

He downed his scotch with that smartass look on his face before grabbing a bottle and his daughter.  
_________________________________________________  
Dinner was almost ready when she practically heard her husband scream from Cami’s room.

She turned everything down and ran down the hall. 

“Don’t…you…dare…laugh.”

“I’m not,” she told him while she bit her bottom lip. 

Not only was her daughter covered in poop all the way up her back but it was all over her husband’s shirt. Cami was crying because her dad had apparently scared her when she scared him with her accident.

“Take her please. I have to get this off and in the shower.”

“Oh, Raf stop being such a drama queen. She’s a baby.”

“Since when does shit travel upwards and what is in your breastmilk?!”

“It was…an explosion of sorts?”

“Well, this shirt is ruined, tie too, probably.”

“Well, your pants and suspenders seem safe.”

“Funny,” he said with a glare.

“Come on, Cami. Mommy will get you cleaned up since you’ve obviously scarred your father.”

While Izzy had Cami in their other bathroom to bathe her and get the mess off of her body and out of her hair, she had completely forgot about dinner. The noodles were mush, the sauce had been scorched, it was basically ruined.

“Take out’s fine, cariño,” he told her as he came in the kitchen, still drying his hair with a towel.

“Just order what you want.”

“Hey, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. I didn’t mean to scare her. I was just caught completely off guard by that.”

“She’s spit up on you.”

“That’s different. It’s not…think she’s scared of me now?”

“I doubt it.”

“I’d just like a little warning beforehand. An alarm of some kind,” he laughed.

“She’s 6 weeks old. We have so much more ahead of us.”

“Don’t remind me,” he said as he picked her back up from her swing. He was a little apprehensive at first, thinking she might cry but she didn’t. She just rested her head on his shoulder.  
__________________________________________________________  
“Back to work next week, huh?”

“Yeah, Erin. I’m actually kind of looking forward to it. I mean, love being around Cami but I miss being behind my desk. So, what happened to you going to Narcotics?”

“Uh, I decided to go to the Gang Unit with Hank and Al instead.”

“Really?”

“Yeah but I am low man on the totem pole. Are you going back to Major Case?”

“Yeah. Nick won’t leave me alone. Him and Maria are having problems.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, she wants to reenlist, he doesn’t want her to. So, does my brother know you’re in town?”

“He might,” Erin grinned.

“I see.”

“He was telling me that Barba’s dad showed up here right before Christmas drunk?”

“Yes,” Izzy rolled her eyes. “Thank god my dad was here cause there’s no telling how bad it could’ve gotten. I mean he literally tried to force himself in our apartment.”

“Are you sure you’re okay here alone with Cami during the day?” 

“He knows I own a Glock and a Beretta. He’s not that stupid.”

“About time to get started on the next one isn’t it?”

“I don’t think so,” Rafael said as he came in and kissed his wife.

“Hey, Barba. Thought you got lost. I’m starving.”

“Oh, were you hungry? I wasn’t aware,” he remarked sarcastically. “Who’d have thought that lunchtime would be busy at a deli?”

“Okay, you two. You get my pastrami with spicy mustard on rye?”

“With everything but tomatoes, mi amor.”

“Thank you.”

“Roast beef for you,” he said as he tossed Erin’s sandwich at her.

“He’s nice to you.”

“She lets me have sex with her and no that is not a hint.”

“Trust me, I wouldn’t offer. I need someone with more experience.”

“Erin knock it off and I’m not kidding,” Izzy scolded.

“Okay, sorry. I was just playing. God, you are a mom.”

“Well, leave him alone.”

“I’m going to our room to do some work.”

“Okay, babe.”

“I didn’t piss him off that bad, did I?”

“That’s where our desk is and he got a chance to prove himself with an actual murder case.”

“Wow. Tony said he’s still getting shit over in Queens.”

“Well, it’s gonna be that way for a while for both of them.”


	34. Chapter 34

“So, we’re sure, Nick and Erin are going to be Cami’s godparents?”

“Yes, Raf. I mean, who got me to the hospital? Plus, he needs something good in his life right now.”

“This whole break-up with Maria has been pretty rough. I’ve been there.”

“Raf.”

“Hey, I haven’t brought it up since we got married, well to you.”

“Maybe they can work things out.”

“You never know. I told Mami that Miguel is absolutely not invited to Cami’s Christening.”

“Oh, it’s ‘Miguel’, now?”

“Izz don’t start, please.”

“I’m not. I get it.”

“I don’t want him near her.”

“And I’m not saying you’re wrong but my dad did let our grandfather around us.”

“You were almost a year old. Maybe then but I’m not making any promises.”

“Okay.”

“And your parents are gonna be okay with taking Cami for the night after the ‘reception’?”

“Yes, and we are having a much needed date night.”

“Well, it is technically our 7 year anniversary.”

“Oh, I am definitely aware,” she smiled.

“What do you have planned?”

“Nothing. Just dinner and the new Matthew McConaughey movie.”

“That one with Jennifer Lopez? Really?”

“So? You said I could pick.”

“Yeah but it’s a cheesy romance movie.”

“Again, so?”

“Fine. A night out alone will make it worth it, I guess.”  
_______________________________________________________________  
“What’s behind your back, sis?”

“Uh, something I wanted Erin’s opinion on for my date tomorrow night,” Izzy told her brother as they stood in the living room.

“You don’t want my opinion?”

“Not really.”

“Come on, I’m your brother. Ask me.”

“Okay, brother. Which one of these would make your sister look hotter so your best friend would want to do her?” She asked as she held up two different sets of lingerie. 

Tony just kind of stood there as Erin and Izzy waited.

“Well?”

“The red one,” he answered quietly as he walked off.

“I’d go with the black one,” Erin laughed after Tony walked out. “So, you’re pulling out the stops tomorrow night, huh?”

“Yes, I am. He thinks I’m going to make him sit through some drab rom-com but instead, I’m gonna bring him back here and fuck him until he doesn’t have a drop of semen left in his body.”

“Damn!”

“What?”

“I’m just still amazed at how you’ve changed over the years. You think you might let him…”

“We’ve talked about it but I’m still too scared.”

“It’s not that big of a deal. The best lube out there is Astroglide. He just has to start off slow. He can’t just shove it like he’s plugging a cord into a light socket.”

“Thanks for the advice but I don’t think tomorrow night’s the night.”

“Are you trying for baby number 2 already then?”

“No. I just took my detective’s exam and I don’t need anything holding me back from that. We said two years.”

“You’ve got one to go.”

“When are you going to start having babies? Hmm?”

“We’re not talking about me.”

“Why not? Every time you come out here, where do you stay?”

“And he knows there’s no commitment.”

“You two need to grow up.”

“Says the woman that won’t take her husband’s dick in her ass,” Erin teased.  
_____________________________________________________________________  
“I thought the movie was starting in 30 minutes?” Rafael asked after Izzy insisted they go back to their apartment after dinner.

“Just relax. We’ll be fine.”

“You’re the one that’s always so anal about getting to the movies early so you get a good seat.”

“I don’t you complained when I gave a blow job during ‘Dead Man on Campus’.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Then zip it,” she laughed from the bathroom.

He sat on the couch, flipping one of his wife’s many gossip rags, constantly checking his watch.

“Babe! Come on! We’re gonna be late!”

She came out in the black outfit that included a short black silk robe.

“You still want to go to that movie?”

“Fuck no,” he told her as he tossed the magazine on the coffee table.

“Then follow me, counselor,” she whispered as she motioned for him to join her.

His hands untied the robe as he back her onto their bed. 

*ERRRGGGHHHH*

“Go lay down, Riggs.”

He listened to the command and walked out of their bedroom.

Rafael started at her neck, placing small bites between kisses as he worked his way to her lips. His tongue lightly traced them as if asking for permission to enter her mouth, which she gladly let him. The harder the kisses got, the more he pressed himself against her. She could feel his erection growing with each movement. It took her back to those months when this was all they would allow each other.

“Do you want me to fuck you,” he whispered, causing a chill to go through her entire body.

“Many times,” she replied as she removed his red sweater.

The first time, he gave her 3 orgasms orally before another just from sex. It was like 15-30 minute breaks were all they needed before going again. Since Cami was born, their sex life wasn’t what it used to be, which they expected so they were going to make this night count.

They were supposed to be at the 7:10 showing of “The Wedding Planner” but by 11pm, they were going on round number 7 or 8. They had actually lost count. Some of it was hard and fast and some of them they just took their time. It was definitely worth missing that movie.


	35. Chapter 35

“Think you’re gonna wake up this morning?” Izzy asked one Sunday morning in April 2001.

“The baby…she wouldn’t sleep last night,” Rafael groaned as he rolled over. Even on weekends, he usually didn’t sleep later than 8 and it was pushing 10.

“How late were you up with her?”

“4? 5? I don’t even remember. I’d lay her down and she’d just start all over again.”

“Was it gas?”

“No. I think she was trying to protect me from the sleep monsters.”

“What?” She laughed.

“Yeah, like she thought she had to keep me up or the sleep monsters would get me.”

“Oh-okay. Well, she’s up in her swing.”

“Of course, she is.”

“Your mother is coming over for lunch.”

“Fine. Wake me up when she gets here,” he told his wife as he pulled the covers back over his head.

She wasn’t even going to fight with him. He had been working a lot since he was getting more challenging cases over the past few months. He was proving himself to the Brooklyn DA for sure. Izzy decided to get Cami bundled up and take her and Riggs out for a walk, since she needed to pick up things for a salad anyways.

“Do you ever eat anything besides rabbit food?”

“Eddie. What brings you all the to Brooklyn?”

“I was actually on my way to see your husband.”

“He’s still asleep.”

“It’s 10:30.”

“Somebody kept him up till the early hours of the morning.”

“I wonder who? Surely not Uncle Eddie’s girl,” he laughed as he scooped Cami out of her stroller.

“Who else cause it surely wasn’t me.”

“Not these days anyways.”

“Hush, Eddie. Where’s Lorena?”

“Still fighting that cold.”

“Mine was terrible. I never thought I was going to get rid of it.”

“Have you two decided if you’re going to the ‘event of the season’?”

“Raf’s still on the fence. Alex actually called and asked him to be a groomsmen.”

“Alex has always had some stones, that’s for sure.”

“Is that what you were going to talk to him about?”

“What do you think?”

“I think…if you want to risk waking him up, be my guest.”

“Maybe not right now,” he laughed. “I’ll just call him later. I got hit in the nuts once when I woke him up in high school.”

"What?" She laughed.

"Yeah. He wasn't even really awake. Lucia sent me in his room cause he was still asleep, so I tried to wake him, and WHAM!! right in the balls."  
_________________________________________________________  
“I can’t believe you talked me into going to this wedding,” Rafael scoffed as she finished tying his blue tie.

“Well, I didn’t talk you into being in the wedding.”

“He’s got plenty of brother in laws, he doesn’t need me. What did we get them for a gift?”

“Cooking lessons for Yelina.”

“No, you didn’t,” he laughed. 

“Eddie made the comment that Alex said Yelina isn’t a good cook,” she shrugged.

“And people say I’m a smartass?”

“I thought it was thoughtful.”

He just sat on the bed laughing to himself as he put on his shoes.

“How do I look?”

“You look great,” he smiled. “You might take attention away from the bride.”

“I’m not wearing white.”

“Still.”

“The invitation said formal. This is a formal dress,” she said referring to the sparkling strapless baby blue dress.

“Are you two ready to go yet?” Lina laughed as she came in with Cami.

“Just finishing up. We shouldn’t be out too late, Abuelita.”

“Nonsense go have a good time. Spend some time with your old friends.”

“As if I had so many. Okay, you be good for Bibi, Si?”

Cami just sort of clapped and giggled while a string a drool fell from her lip.

“Teething rings are…”

“I know where everything is, Rafi. Now, go, you two. We will be fine.”

“Okay.”  
_________________________________________________  
Lorena immediately took a seat with Rafael and Izzy at the church in the Bronx.

“Who is she trying to fool?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on, Izzy. She’s obviously pregnant.”

“Lori.”

“Come on. How far a long would you say?”

“About 3 months.”

“What are you two talking about,” Rafael whispered.

“Yelina’s knocked up.”

“No way.”

“Look up at her. Her dress is too tight around her mid-section.”

“You two need to stop,” he quietly scolded.

“I didn’t start it.”

“Shhh.”

“We’ll just wait and see what she drinks at the reception,” Lorena chuckled.

They sat at their table at the reception having a few drinks.

“Look, she’s drinking water,” Lorena pointed out.

“I guess you were right,” Izzy laughed.

“What did I miss,” Eddie asked.

“Yelina’s knocked up.”

“Big surprise,” he scoffed.

Alex and Yelina made their way over to the table Rafael, Izzy, Eddie, and Lorena were eating their very dry chicken, Lorena was sure to point out.

“Rafi, so glad you made it,” Alex told him as they hugged.

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Izzy that dress looks amazing on you.”

“Thanks, Alex. Congratulations.”

“I finally made an honest woman out of her.”

Lorena bowed her head as she laughed. 

“How’s the baby?”

“She’s good. Growing every day.”

“Looking more and more like her mother I’m sure.”

“Of course, she is. Well, you two don’t worry about us. This is your night.”

“We’ll be back around. You guys enjoy your night.”

“I have to have something else to eat after else,” Eddie told them.

“How about one dance, mi amor, and we get out of here?”

“Sure,” Izzy smiled.  
______________________________________________________  
“So, you’re sure you’re ready to start trying for another one?”

“We said we wanted them at least 2 years apart, right?”

“Yeah,” Rafael smiled.

“It might take us a little bit since I’ve been on the pill for almost a year.”

“Okay, so then we are officially trying for my boy.”

“Don’t get cocky or you’ll end up with another girl.”

“I think I’d live,” he shrugged with a smile. “Do you think we should look for a bigger place?”

“Can we afford one?”

“Well, I’ve been looking at a few in different neighborhoods. There’s one that’s 4 bedrooms, in Cobble Hill, which would give me a home office and we could move our desk out of our bedroom and we could afford the rent.”

“Don’t you think we should wait until I get pregnant again?”

“We could go check it out at least.”

“Yeah, I guess we could.”

“Doesn’t hurt to be prepared when the next baby comes, even if it’s a couple of years before the baby comes.”

“I hear you. We can go check it out at least.”  
_________________________________________________

“Is that everything?” Anthony asked once the movers brought up the last box to their new apartment on that very hot July 2001 afternoon.

“Should be,” his daughter answered. “Now we have to unpack all of this stuff.”

“Well, why don’t we take Miss Cami for the night so you two can get some work done without her crawling around?”

“We’d really appreciate that, Dad. She gets in to everything and with all these boxes, she could turn something over on herself.”

“We don’t mind at all, Rafael. Do we still, Stells?”

“Not one bit. I’ll go get her bag together…if I can find everything she laughed as she walked down the hall.

“Your dad didn’t offer to help?”

“You mean Miguel? No. I’m sure Mami told him we were moving.”

“I take it he still hasn’t met his granddaughter?”

“Nope,” Rafael answered as he started unpacking a box of pictures to put on the mantle.

“This isn’t healthy, son.”

“I don’t want a miserable person like him around my daughter. Maybe, if he’d attempt to sober up, I’d give him a chance to be in her life. He never tried when I was growing up so I don’t expect him to now.”

“You never know. Have you told him that was your condition?”

“It wouldn’t do any good, Dad. I know the man too well. And after the way he has treated my wife in the past…I’m just not ready.”

“I’m not saying you should forgive or forget but sometimes it’s just easier to let it go, instead of it eating you alive.”

Rafael just kind of looked at his father in law, not a glare but just sort of letting him know he heard what he was saying. 

Anthony and Stella soon packed up their granddaughter and headed to Bensonhurst with her.  
_______________________________________________________  
“Rafa!”

“What’s up, babe?” He asked as he walked into the bathroom. Izzy held two sticks in her hand.

“No way.”

“Yeah.”

“Already? We’ve only been trying for a few months,” he chuckled.

“Guess it didn’t take as long as we thought,” she shrugged.

“And you were worried about getting the bigger apartment too soon?”

“Well, I guess I was wrong to worry.”

“This is one is my boy.”

“What did I tell you?”

“I was right about Cami.”

“It was 50/50.”

“I’m telling you, this one is a boy.”

“Well, I already have an appointment with Dr. Mitchell on September 11th. By my math, I’ll be about 7 weeks along then.”

“So, the night we were supposed to be unpacking and did it in the kitchen and my office instead.”

“Pretty much,” she smiled.  
__________________________________________________________  
“Okay, so, Abuelita my appointment is at 9:15. I should be back around 10:30, I hope.”

“And then I will make you, Cami, and the new baby a nice lunch and you can have a nap.”

“I’ll be fine. As of tomorrow, Dodds is going to have me chained to the desk. Thinks I can’t handle homicides while I’m pregnant.”

“He’s just looking out for you.”

“You don’t know my Lieutenant, Abuelita. He’s covering the NYPD’s ass first and foremost.”

“You sound like my grandson. Where is that smoke coming from?” Lina asked as she went to the sliding glass window that led out to their patio while holding Cami.

“Is that coming from Manhattan?”

“Looks like the Trade Center. Turn on the TV. Maybe there was a fire.”

Every station was covering the news that a plane had struck the North Tower at 8:46am. Explanations ranged from pilot error to aircraft malfunction until 9:03 when another plane hit the South Tower. Izzy’s doctor appointment was cancelled within minutes. 

Rafael rushed in the door within 20 minutes of the last plane hitting the 2nd tower.

“They evacuated the courthouse. Rumors are that other planes have been taken over. The Pentagon was struck soon after, causing American airspace to be shut down. 

“I need to get home,” Lina said after Rafael had taken his daughter from her.

“I’d rather you stay here, at least for today.”

“I’m just going to the Bronx, Rafi.”

“Abuelita humor me.”

“Fine.”

“I need to call Dodds.”

“You really think he’s going to let you out there being pregnant?”

“I could answer phones…I don’t know.”

“You’re not going anywhere and I mean it. We don’t everything that’s going on right now and I want the three, well 3 ½, most important people in my life safe.”


	36. Chapter 36

“Dodds look I can do something besides sit behind this desk all day.”

“You’ve been given a direct order, Detective Barba. Continue to run phone records and financials. That’s all I need you to do at this moment. Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir, Lieutenant,” Izzy said sitting back in her chair.

“It’s not always gonna be like this, Izz.”

“Yeah, I know, Louise but shit. Taking a witness statement isn’t going to send me into labor at 5 months.”

“Cami’s birthday party still this weekend?”

“Yes and your ass better be there, Campisi.”

“Will there be alcohol?”

“Shut up.”

“Come on, let’s go get some lunch or something.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Izzy laughed as she grabbed her coat.

“So, Barba okay with another girl?”

“Of course. He was really certain he was getting a boy this time. He thought he had a sixth sense.”

“Must’ve hurt to find out he didn’t,” Campisi joked.

“He was a little disappointed to say the least.”

“I’m looking for Detective Elizabeth Barba,” a very nice looking African American man said as he met Izzy and Louise when he came off the elevator.

“Uh, that’s me.”

“Detective Ed Green. I’m from…”

“The 27th in Manhattan.”

“You’re very good.”

“You and Detective Briscoe are sort of legends,” she laughed. “What can I do for you, Detective Green?”

“Ed, please. You were once partnered with Cyrus Lupo, correct?”

“Uh, yeah. It’s been a few years. He okay?”

“You mind if we speak privately?”

“Not at all.”

“You want me to bring back your usual?” Campisi asked.

“Sure, thanks.”

The previous Christmas Cyrus had witnessed a scene in with a father had murdered his wife and two children, which left him with PTSD. He began drinking heavily due to that. He even testified while drunk against the father. 

He had recently fell asleep in his patrol car while hung over and his partner had went to get them coffee. His partner ended up being killed in the bodega that was being robbed at the same time. Green just wanted to ask Izzy if this was normal behavior but for the “Lupes” she knew, it wasn’t.

“What’s going to happen to him, Ed?”

“Honestly, Barba, I don’t know. Van Buren sent me down here just to see if this was out of the ordinary or if he couldn’t handle the job. He was on track to make detective and now…”

“He can handle the job, I assure you. That just must’ve really gotten to him.”

“Thanks for taking the time to talk to me.”

“No problem.”

“You ever feel like getting away from Dodds, holler at me. I can talk to Van Buren. It wouldn’t be so bad having another female detective around.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.”  
_________________________________________  
“Hey, boy, where do you get it from?/Hey, boy, where did you go?/I learned my passion/In the good old-fashioned/School of lover boys”

“Mi amor you shouldn’t be dancing around like that,” Rafael told his wife when he found her in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on Cami’s birthday cake while singing Queen’s “Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy”.

“Exercise is good for the baby.”

“You got exercise last night.”

“Shush,” she laughed as she took the frosting bag and put a pink spot on his nose.

“The cake looks great, cariño. I think you missed your calling.”

“Nah. I like to shoot at people too much.”

“So, was your brother picking Erin up at the airport?”

“As far as I know. You’re sure you’re okay with your dad coming?”

“What’s he gonna do in an apartment full of cops?”

“Okay.”

“Look, you know your dad said something to me a few months ago…I can’t keep letting this eat at me. It’s going to affect how I am as a father as the girls grow up if I do.”

“I’m not scared to pull my gun if I have to,” she joked.

“I know, baby. Is Nick coming?”

“Yeah. He said he had something to tell us.”

“Think him and Maria got back together?”

“No because she’s not coming. I tried to get her to but she declined. She did send a gift though.”

“That was nice of her.”

“Yeah. I can tell she’s not over Nick though.”

“And vice-versa.”

“Well, not much we can do but could you go make sure your daughter is dressed?”

“Of course,” he smiled before kissing his wife.  
____________________________________  
The first to arrive were Anthony and Stella (along with Stella’s parents, Giada and Alonzo Fratelli). More so because Rafael wanted Anthony there before his own father showed up.  
Lucia, Miguel, and Lina showed up about 30 minutes after the Rossetti’s.

Miguel was completely different from the last time his son or daughter in law had seen him. He was…sober.

“Wow, she’s gotten so big,” he gushed at the blond baby with olive skin. “Look at those brown eyes. You look just like tu Mama.”

“Can you tell Abuelito ‘hi’?” Rafael said as he held her.

Cami let out a ‘hi’ with a giggle.

“Can I?” Miguel asked as he held out his hands. Rafael looked not to his wife but to his father in law, who slightly nodded.

Cami was immediately taken with the man that had same eyes as her father. Some of the facial features were the same as well so that must’ve helped put her at ease. “Is she walking, mijo?”

“Everywhere, Mig…Dad.”

“We had a hard time keeping up with you around this age, too. Didn’t we, Lucy?”

“Yes, we did,” she smiled.

Izzy came out of the kitchen to greet her in-laws, very surprised to see her daughter in Miguel’s lap.

“Don’t you look beautiful?” Lucia gushed.

“I’m 5 months pregnant, Mami,” she laughed.

“She’s right. You are glowing,” Miguel told her as he hugged her while still holding his granddaughter. “Heard I’m getting another granddaughter?”

“Uh, yeah, you are.”

“Can’t put the stem on the apple, huh, mijo,” he joked and for once Rafael could actually tell he was kidding.

“Guess not,” he shrugged with a small laugh.

“Eh, keep trying. You’ll get one eventually. Not everyone gets it right on the first time like I did.”

Rafael and Izzy were both shocked at Miguel’s new found sense of humor.

Everyone started showing up for little Camila Barba’s 1st birthday.

“Auntie Louise is here!” Campisi announced when she came in with a huge bag.

“Auntie Louise my ass,” Erin muttered.

“Shhh,” Izzy laughed.

“I’m the godmother.”

“What is your deal? You’ve been in a bad mood since you got here?”

“I met someone and your brother is pissed.”

“Well, what do you expect? If you’ve met someone then don’t be leading my brother on.”

“I’m not. I told him it wasn’t very serious but he insist I sleep in his guest room.”

“You’re impossible, Erin.”  
_______________________________________  
After Cami had made a mess with the cake, her presents were opened, it was time for her bath. The water was pink because of all of the icing she had all over her. Nick had stayed to have a few drinks with Rafael and help clean up afterwards.

Izzy was chasing a very naked and wet toddler from the bathroom with her hooded towel flowing behind her. She was quickly scooped by her Uncle Nick.

“Mama mean.”

“Why’s your Mama mean, princesa?”

“No cos.”

“You have to put clothes on.”

“No.”

“How about Uncle Nick helps?”

“Yay!!!”

“Here, have at it, Nick,” Izzy laughed as she handed Cami’s pj’s and diaper to Amaro.

“How are you feeling, baby?”

“Tired, Rafa.”

“Well, at least she had fun.”

“Seemed to. How are you?”

“I’m…good. You know, my dad refused every drink that was offered to him today?”

“Really?”

“Yep. He drank water or tea. That was it.”

“Wow. And you haven’t said anything…”

“Only to your…Anthony.”

“I doubt my dad would’ve said something.”

“Mi amor he has taken care of me for the last 7 years. You really think he wouldn’t go to my dad and tell him what I wanted for him to be in Cami’s life? I mean he threatened to kill him on our doorstep at our old apartment.”

“Ma hasn’t said anything to me.”

“Okay, here she is. All baby powder fresh,” Nick laughed as he came back with Cami.

“Thanks, Nick. So, what is it what you wanted to tell us?” Izzy asked. “Tell me you’re transferring to Homicide with me.”

“No, sorry, Izz. I…uh…I’m going to Fallujah.”

“What?”

“Interrogations. They need people and they’re looking for military and police.”

“That’s a war zone, Nick.”

“I’ll be heavily guarded, Izz.”

“What about when you come back,” Rafael asked.

“I can come back to NYPD, still as a detective.”

“Damn, dude.”

“I just gotta get out of New York for a while.”

“When do you leave?”

“January 1st.”

“So soon after September?”

“You know we’re going to war, Izzy.”

“Don’t get yourself killed over there, man.”

“I won’t, Barba. I’ll be back.”


	37. Chapter 37

“Uh, baby?”

“What?” Izzy snapped at her husband.

“You want to put on something more…appropriate?”

It was May and she was already a week overdue with their second daughter and refused to be induced. They had an appointment with Dr. Mitchell after hours and Izzy was dressed in a tank top, showing her bump a tiny bit and a skirt.

“Excuse me?”

“Good god, man, don’t anger it,” Erin told him as she had came in for the birth of Barba baby #2.

“Can we just go?”

“Whatever you say. You’re the Mommy.”

“Oh no, pal, it’s bad enough you call your own mother that,” she told him.

“It’s…Spanish.” He had never seen his wife so angry/uncomfortable in 8 years and really didn’t know what to do or say.

“Come on, Rafael!!!!”

“You want to be Rafael, Erin?”

“Fuck no,” she laughed.  
_________________________________________  
“Raf?”

"Hmmm?"

“Can I ask you something?” Izzy asked as she laid on the exam table.

“Sure, mi amor.”

“When I was pregnant with Cami were you this irritating?”

“Wow.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Just…you’ve been a little short with me lately. I’m not trying to irritate you.”

“Then you must just have a natural talent for it.”

“You know what? Dr. Mitchell will be in here soon. How about we don’t speak until then?”

“Okay,” she replied mockingly. “Seriously breathe louder, Rafael! That really helps me relax!!!”

“You know, maybe we should ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that’s half Cuban and half pure evil!”

“Hey, Izzy,” Dr. Mitchell smiled as she entered the room.

“Hey, Dr. Mitchell,” Izzy pleasantly replied.

“Oh, you’re nice to her.”

“She has the drugs,” Izzy told her husband through clenched teeth.

“So, 7 days late. You must be a little uncomfortable.”

“Just a little,” Izzy responded to which her husband rolled his eyes.

“Well, you’re 80% effaced. I don’t know why this one is giving you so much trouble but you’re on your way.”

“Is there anything we can do?”

“Well, Camila came early but you can eat spicy foods, take a walk, and have sex.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Rafael scoffed.

“It’s actually the most effective.”  
_______________________________________________  
After a walk to Shanghai Gardens for some very spicy Kung Poa Chicken, Izzy was growing more and more frustrated.

“Come on, Raf.”

“No.”

“Are you serious?”

“You think I want to put my dick in you with the way you’ve been acting?”

“Come on,” she whined. “I want this baby out of me!”

“Then get induced.”

“You could induce me with that…huge…cock,” she whispered in his ear before gently sucking on his earlobe.

“That…that’s not going to work.”

“Come on. Make loooovvvveeee to me.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s gonna make me wanna do it.”

“Oops, I dropped my fork,” she said as she got up from the couch and bent over to pick it up.

“Baby stop. You want her to come naturally.”

“Naturally would be you fucking me into oblivion then causing my water to break but oh no, you can’t do that.”

“Fine!”

“What?”

“Lay back,” he commanded her as he pulled her panties from under skirt. “You want me to fuck you? Then I’m going to.” He stuck his fingers inside of her first to get her wet before  
pulling his khaki shorts and green boxers down. He slowly entered her but picked up his pace quick.

“Stop! Raf! Stop!”

“What’s wrong?”

“My water just broke.”

He pulled out and off of her quickly. “Are you sure?”

“Either that or you got an unexpected golden shower!”

Their couch was soaked. 

“Damn, I am good!”

“Shut up! Go get Cami up. We’ve got to go.”  
___________________________________________________  
“Looks like this one might take after her Daddy,” Erin laughed as she ran her hand over Aurora Danielle’s brown hair.

“Rory will still have brown eyes like her Mommy,” Tony said as he took his new niece from Erin. 

“Nonna and Pop-Pop are here,” Stella announced as she and Anthony walked in to see their newest grandchild.

“She’s beautiful, baby,” Anthony told his daughter as he kissed the top of her head.

“We make pretty babies,” Izzy laughed.

“That you do.”

“Someone else wants to visit,” Lucia said as she and Miguel came in with Cami.

Rafael took Rory to meet Cami. “This is your baby sister. What do you think?”

“I wuv her,” Cami beemed.

“You did good, mijo,” Miguel told him.

“Thank you.”

“I hope there’s not too many people in here,” Campisi laughed as she came in with balloons.

“Oh great,” Erin said under her breath.

“You think she doesn’t have any friends besides you,” Tony asked her.

“I didn’t say that but Louise is always right in the middle of everything.”

“They went to the academy together. If you would’ve came here instead of going back to Chicago…”

“Okay, you two, that’s enough,” Stella scolded as their arguing got louder.

Soon everyone left, leaving Rafael, Izzy, and their two girls alone. Lucia had told them she would come back for Cami when they were ready.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Izzy asked as he noticed tears rolling down her husband’s cheeks while he held both of his girls.

“I’m just happy,” he smiled.


	38. Chapter 38

“Tony are you ever gonna bring someone over for dinner?” His sister asked as he joined her and his brother in law for dinner like he did at least once a week.

“I’m too busy to date anyone seriously. Besides, why would I when I know my sister will feed me?” He laughed.

"I'm about to start charging you for every meal you eat here."

“Do you date at all?” Rafael asked him,

“Not really,” he shrugged as he took a drink of his scotch. “I’m always up to my ass in cases. I don’t have time for a social life.”

“You and Louise seemed to get a long pretty well after Rory’s christening and you do have a goddaughter in common. 

“She’s nice but, Izz…she’s not my type.”

“Okay. I’m just trying to help.”

“I’m fine, sis, really.”

Rory started fussing so her uncle got up to get her.

“You could have a couple of those yourself, you know.”

“Maybe one day, Barba, but for now I’m fine just being the ‘fun’ uncle.”

“Who said you were fun?” 

“Hey, I can be fun when they get older.”

“If you say so.”

“Tell your mother Uncle Tony is going to teach you and Cami all kinds of stuff,” he said to his 3 month old niece.

“You better not.”

“Hey, you were the one that put saran wrap on the toilet seat.”

“Cause you read my diary!”

“What did I marry into?” Rafael asked as serious as could be.

“Yes, you and your biiigggg crush on Antonio.”

“We were 13, idiot.”

“Still, I go to take a piss and it ended up all in the floor and Ma made me clean it up.”

“That’s what you get for fucking with me.”

“So, when’s the next one coming?”

“When these two get out of diapers. No ifs, ands, or buts,” Rafael told him. “We get these two using the toilet, then we’ll work on another. Not until.”  
________________________________________________  
“Look at these beautiful girls,” Lucia gushed when her son brought his daughters to see their Abuelita. “Where’s my other one?”

“Chasing down leads on a case. She hasn't been home since yesterday around 2 but you know how she is."

“I know you both,” she laughed. “I can't believe you're not working yourself."  
"I don't have a case, knock on wood."

"Well come in here. I’m still surprised to see you on a Saturday, mijo.”

“Well, I just didn’t want the girls sitting around the house while their mother is working. I’m just lucky I’m not.”

“Why don’t I fix us some lunch then?”

“Sure,” he smiled. “Where’s Dad?”

“Roberto needed help on some old truck so he said he’d go help him. He’s going to be sad he missed his girls.”

Rafael just sort of nodded.

“Rafael I want to ask you something and I want you to be honest with me.”

“Okay?”

“Why did you insist on keeping your father away from Cami for a year?”

“Mami…”

“I think you owe me an explanation at least.”

“Is it really that hard to figure it out? He’s an abusive drunk.”

“He’s been sober for 8 months now.”

“And he couldn’t do that before now?”

“I know but…”

“Since we’re being honest, I have a question of my own.”

“What is it?”

“Why did you stay with him all these years? I mean why did you let him do the things he did to us?”

“Rafi…”

“Mami I am 28-years-old, I have two children of my own. I think I also deserve an explanation after all these years.”

“Every time…every time I wanted to take you and leave, he promised to be better or he’d even stop drinking for a little while and I would believe him.”

“Then it would start right back up.”

“I tried to protect you, you know I did. I just wasn’t strong enough against him sometimes. You know he wasn’t always like that. There was a time when he was every bit the doting father you are. You were his pride and joy. His greatest accomplishment. I know you’re too young to remember when you two would spend hours at the park. He’d try to get you to leave and you’d look at him with those same green eyes and say, ‘una vez más en el columpio, Papi (one more time on the swing)?’ and he wouldn’t say no. He’d push you until he felt his arms were gonna fall off. Halfway back to that old apartment we lived in in the projects, you’d get tired, and he’d carry you home. He’d tell me, ‘Lucy, that boy is going to do great things one day’.”

“Yeah, and yet all the memories I have of him now are ones that I’d rather forget," he scoffed.

“Then make new ones with your daughters and him.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“He’s trying and he’s not just trying for the girls. He’s trying for you and me, too.”

“Don’t you think it’s about 25 years too late?”

“You’re just as stubborn as he is.”

“Don’t compare me to him.”

“You can fight it all you want but you are still his son.”

About an hour or so later, Rafael could tell his girls were getting cranky and decided to take them home. 

Izzy had been out all night and was curled up in their bed so he laid the girls in their cribs and crawled up next to his wife. She didn’t even wake up as she rolled over into his chest.


	39. Chapter 39

“Another John?” Campisi asked as she and Izzy were called to a crime scene close to the Verrazano bridge.

“Same MO as the one found in Manhattan and the one in Bay Ridge?”

“You got it, Detective Barba. Medical Examiner is on his way.”

“So, no witnesses, he was being serviced on the and the killer just left him here?”

“You think we’re looking at another Aileen Wuornos, Izz?”

“Nothing surprises me anymore, Campisi, honestly. The bad thing is we have a man out there that has been beating and now killing prostitutes.”

“You’re thinking retaliation?”

“Possibly. A friend of the girls we’ve found. Everybody wants to be Batman. You remember that nun we ran into back when we were in patrol?”

“Sister Peg. The one that hands out fresh needles and condoms to sex workers.”

“Yeah. Let’s go across the bridge and see what she might know.”

“I could use a slice from Original Ray’s anyways,” Campisi kind of laughed as she followed Izzy to their black car.

After talking to Sister Peg who couldn’t offer them any information either way, they were heading back to Brooklyn when the ME called with some news for them.

“What’s that? Lipstick?”

“Yeah. The girl you guys found hanging in that alley? A perfect thumbprint came off it.”

“So?”

“So, Detective Campisi, it didn’t belong to your vic but to your perp. Shawn Becker. Was released from Attica 3 weeks after being sent up in 94 for assault and attempted rape.”

“I was still in college in 94,” Izzy mused.  
____________________________________________________  
“Everything confirms self-defense. Guy beat the crap out of her so hard the hospital admitted her with a concussion. The tearing and the contusions from Debra's rape kit are consistent with sexual assault,” Izzy told Harris and Rafael. 

“We know for a fact that Becker was a rapist and a killer. So as far as we're concerned, killing him was a public service,” Louise added. 

“I'm inclined to agree. Anything else?” Barba asked. 

“Just tying up loose ends. Nothing came up when we ran her name through the system. Doom and Lake are running the ballistics on the gun,” his wife told him. 

“I'll make my recommendation not to press charges. Nice work. I’ll see you at home,” he said as he picked up his briefcase and walked out of Harris’ office.

“And there was none of her DNA on the other vics?”

“None at all, Harris, and none of them were shot. They were stabbed in the groin and left to bled out.”

“Okay. Well, you two finish your paperwork and punch out. You’ve busted your asses the last two days. Go have a drink or two.”

“You don’t have to tell us twice,” they both laughed.

“Lieutenant Harris. What? You’re kidding. Detectives hang on.”

They stood as Harris was on the phone with either Lake or Doom.

“Shit.”

“What’s up, Lieu?”

“That gun that Debra used to shoot Shawn Becker, was used in another shooting 6 months.”

“Fuck,” Izzy muttered.  
____________________________________________________

“Previous victim was Leonard Graves. Had quite a nice rap sheet. Possession with intent to distribute, carrying a concealed weapon. Three shots to the head and robbed, a drug-related homicide. Aside from the gun, there's no immediate connection between Becker and Graves,” Izzy informed the other detectives and Harris after she had done some digging. 

“Well, maybe there is none. Dealer guns get passed around. Graves had it first, got shot by his own piece. Becker bought it off the street six months later,” Lake offered. 

“And he gets killed with it, too? That's a big coincidence,” Doom replied.

“You know the statistics on people killed by their own weapon? Look, this gun could've been making the rounds for years, and I'm not all that interested in chasing after it. Now, what is the straight-line explanation here?” Harris said. “I’m thinking Debra Weldon owned the gun all along, and she killed the both of them.”

“Why do we think it was Becker's gun in the first place? 'Cause that's what she told us. And she's the one who shot him,” Izzy added. “Look guys, we have a big problem. Debra Weldon was raped by Becker. She didn't make that up.” 

“All right, then let's concentrate on who killed Leonard Graves. I want a fresh look at that case with our new theory. We're not gonna get it from Debra Weldon or whatever her name is.” 

“Why not?” Campisi asked. 

“Hospital says our hooker took off minutes after talking to the police. Fake name, fake address, fake social.” 

“The fake name's no surprise. It's typical pro behavior, Harris.” 

“It's also the behavior of somebody with something to hide, Izzy. You know that.”  
________________________________________________  
“Did a little research on VICAP. Looked at murders in known prostitute areas where a credit card was stolen. From those we pulled only the cases whose charges included hotel rooms and children's items. Philip Malakowski in Sheepshead Bay, Michael O'Connell in Manhattan, John Donatov, Brad Horton in New Jersey. All of them unsolved homicides.”

“We can pin all of these on Maggie Peterson?” 

“That's what it's looking like,” Izzy answered Harris. 

“One self-defense murder I can buy. But six of them?”

“This lady's a serial killer, Lieu. Three of these victims fall under our jurisdiction. Becker, Graves and Malakowski.”

“Find her before we have another body turn up and have CSU run sweep those cars again of the other three vics we found.”

“Copy that,” Doom said as he and Izzy headed out.

They ended up tracking Debra/Maggie to a hotel and found her with a 2 year old boy. Doom arrested her as Izzy picked up the little boy, who Maggie called Joey.

“It’s gonna be okay,” she told him as she wrapped her NYPD windbreaker around him. “No reason to be scared.”

He just kind of looked at her as if to say he believed her. “Lake can you get someone to bring us a car seat for him?”

“You got it, Izz.”

“Thanks.”  
____________________________________________________

“Look, we've got the weekend to poke holes in this defense. Please tell me the E.R. Doc's got a history of lying on the stand. Something?” Rafael asked after another day in court. 

“Well, not unless she lied about it for Maggie's charts from two years ago,” his wife responded as he rolled up his sleeves, sat in his chair, propping his feet on his desk.

“Okay. So, we offer one count, man two, eight-to-10.” 

“No way. Are you paying attention, Rafael? We are screwed,” his wife told him. “Do you honestly believe she killed all of those men in self-defense?” 

“Who cares what I believe if she walks? We just give her exactly what she wants. She convinces the world she's the victim, she's the perfect mother, she's everybody's favorite hooker. How old did she say that her son was?” 

“She said he turned two-and-a-half. Why?” 

“Which means,” he started as he took his feet down and started looking through the files on his desk, “that he would've been born in April 2000.” 

“So?” 

“So, look at the medical report. It's dated March 2000. Para zero, grav zero.” 

“No pregnancies. No children. Doctor would've known if she'd been eight months pregnant.” 

“Unless she wasn't. We have her DNA from the rape kit. The child is in ACS custody. They'll give us permission for a sample. Where the hell did she get this kid?”

“She kills to get what she wants, right? She wanted to be a mother."  
____________________________________________________________  
“Meeting on a Sunday? Level of desperation must be pretty high,” Maggie’s defense attorney scoffed when Rafael went to Riker’s to give Maggie another chance to put everything to rest. 

“Not desperate. Simply fulfilling my Rosario obligation,” he told her as he handed her the DNA results. 

“So the kid's not hers. Why does it matter?” 

“Do you want to tell her how you got your child, Maggie, or should I?” 

“I don't know what you're talking about.” 

“Let me jog your memory. Eighteen months ago, 26-year-old Erin Byers went grocery shopping. Her body was found in the store parking lot, strangled. Her stolen car turned up a week later, intact. Her six-month-old son was never found.” 

“You'll never be able to introduce this.” 

“Actually, it was your client who opened the door. Everything she does is for her child. Right?” 

“The judge will call a mistrial.” 

“Not a problem. I'll just re-file and tack on the kidnapping charges, plus the murder of the mother. Do you think a jury is going to believe your ‘I kill men because they beat me’ story now? Do you think the DA is going to give you another pass on the death penalty? Try it,” he told Maggie. 

“Where's Joey?” 

“With his father who thought he was dead.” 

“Is there an offer on the table?” 

“Murder two on all counts, concurrent sentences, 15-to-20.” 

“What about the new charges?” 

“We'll talk about that after I file. You'll never get a better deal than this.” 

“I'm not pleading guilty. I did not kill that woman. I found Joey. She threw him away.” 

“It's over, Maggie. This whole motherhood facade, this lie you have told yourself and the whole world is going to be exposed first thing in the morning.” 

“I have to think about it.” 

“Fine, you can think about it all you like. But if you don't tell me by tomorrow morning at 9:00, I'm gonna make up your mind for you,” he told her with a smirk as he got up and left.  
___________________________________________________  
“We didn't leave her alone that long. She used her stockings like a noose, and just sat down till she died,” the CO at Riker’s told Izzy and Harris.

"Last will and testament. I leave all my worldly belongings to my beloved son. Without him, I am nothing. There's a number for a safety deposit box. Says there's 10k in there,” Izzy said as she read the yellow piece of paper next to Maggie Peterson’s body.

“Her last act, and this is when she decides to be selfless?” 

“Look at her. Every hair in place, perfect make-up. She gets to go out like a beauty queen, and everybody thinks she's sacrificing herself. It's a performance.” 

“The performance of her life,” her Lieutenant told her. “Get her down and send her body to the crime lab.”

 

“That was a hell of a day,” Rafael said when Izzy walked in to find him in the floor with the girls. Rory was 4 months old and had started pushing herself by her elbows to support herself when she laid on her stomach. Cami was almost 2 and running everywhere.

“You’re telling me. Harris gave me the next two days off.”

“I thought you had the weekend off cause Erin’s coming to town.”

“I do so I have a 4 day weekend. Call Abuelita and tell her she doesn’t have to come Thursday or Friday.”

“Do you want to argue with her?”

“Not really, that’s why I told you to call her,” she laughed.

“We need to think about hiring a nanny at some point.”

“Abuelita does fine with the girls.”

“But in a few years when we have another…Cami will be in preschool and it’s going to be a lot for her to pick her up while taking care of two others.”

“We can wait until we get there. Rory is only 4 months old. I’m not even thinking about another baby for at least another 2 years.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Where’s the dog?”

“Asleep in our room. Abuelita said he wore himself out chasing Cami around today. He actually let her climb on his back and walked around with her as if she was riding a horse.”

“Oh lord.”

“Oh, she took pictures and we’ll have them in a few days. So, is Erin staying with us?”

“I think so.”

“Ugh.”

“You always got a long with her in college.”

“She was my girlfriend’s roommate and my roommate was in love with her so of course I did. Doesn’t mean she’s my favorite person.”

“Rafa.”

“What? I know she’s had a hard life and that makes her rough around the edges but I’ve never liked the way she talks to you about sex.”

“Uh, if it wasn’t for her, we’d probably still just have two moves.”

“Hardly. We know how to read and watch porn. She just acts like…I don’t know. She gets on my nerves and it’s not just about you. The way she has done Tony over the years. No wondered he’s married to his work.”

“Okay, look just try to get a long with her over the weekend.”

“I always do, don’t I?”

“Yes, you do, babe and I love you for it.”  
___________________________________________________  
“Just like that,” Rafael moaned as his wife sat on top of him, slowly moving up and down on his cock while he sat up against the headboard. “God, I love you,” he whispered as he kissed her.

Her own moans quietly escaped from her as his hands held her ass. He reached one hand around to get his fingers wet from her the dripping mess she was before they started.

“I want to try something,” he moaned quietly.

“Oh-okay.”

She felt his finger rubbing the outside of her asshole. Soon, he put the tiniest bit of his finger inside of her. 

“Wow.”

“You want me to stop?”

“N-n-n-no. A little more.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

His finger slid in a little further, driving her insane. She had always been afraid to try anything when it came to her ass but she soon regretted that fear as his finger moved in and out with the same rhythm she was moving on him.

She couldn’t concentrate on leaving her lips on his so she buried her face in his neck to muffle the very loud orgasm she couldn’t control.

“That was…intense,” she told him as she caught her breath once they both finished.

“You ready to go the next step?”

“Not anytime soon,” she laughed. “Let’s just keep it at that for now.”

“Okay. No pressure,” he chuckled before getting up to take a shower.

She couldn’t wait to tell Erin they weren’t as lame as she always accused them of being.


	40. Chapter 40

“I’m sorry how long have you two been together now?”

“8 years, almost 9. You should know,” Izzy laughed. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“You two have been together for the better part of a decade and you just now let him stick a finger in your ass?”

“So?”

“You two…it just cracks me up.”

“What do you mean?”

“After all this time, you still act like good little Catholic kids.”

“Erin…”

“Come on, there’s teenagers that have tried more than you. This case I dealt with not very long ago, these 16 & 17 year olds were having 3-ways.”

“Well, good for them. I’m not sharing my wife with anybody,” Rafael said as he walked in and hung up his jacket. His tie was already loosened and sleeves were already rolled up.

“Hey, baby, I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Cause somebody didn’t have the alarm set,” he teased as he kissed his wife.

“Look, all I’m saying, is compared to kids today, you guys still act scared to talk about what you want or don’t want.”

“Are you in our bedroom at night, Erin? How do you know what we talk about? How do you know what we’ve discussed that we’d like to try in the future other than what you’ve been told? We have learned plenty over the years including what actual intimacy is. Your idea of actual intimacy is not using a condom.”

“Are you seriously going to let your husband talk to me like that?”

“Is he wrong?”

“Fine. Maybe I’ll just go stay with Tony.”

“Oh, you’ll do no such thing,” Rafael informed her. “Every time you come out here, you spend time with him, get his hopes up that you might leave Chicago, and then you call a few weeks later to tell him you’ve changed your mind, again, and we’re stuck putting him back together.”

“You guys are being way too dramatic.”

“How would you know? You get what you want from him and then disappear for 3-6 months!”

“Izzy come on.”

“Rafael’s right, Erin. You come out and he relaxes and has fun. You leave, he buries himself in work. Look, I love you, you know I do but I love my brother more. You need to decide if you actually want to try the long distance thing or let him go completely. This isn’t healthy for either of you.”

“Fine. I had a long flight so I’m going to take a nap,” she said told them as she got off the couch.

“What was that about?”

“I come in from the shittiest day possible to hear her giving you shit about our sex life. I get it, girls talk about that kind of stuff but does Lorena give you shit? No. Campisi? Uh-uh. Are you mad at me?”

“No, I was just wondering what brought that on,” Izzy sort of chuckled.

“I already told you I was dreading this weekend as it was.”

“Well, the girls are staying at your mom and dad’s tonight. Maybe I can make this weekend better?”

“How?”

“Do I really have to answer that?”

“Hmmm, no,” he smiled.

“Okay then.”  
____________________________________________

{2003}

“Look, it’s nothing big. Just my mom, Lori’s parents, sister, and brothers, a few other family members that already live here, you guys, and…”

“Alex and Yelina?” Rafael asked.

“Come on. We were best friends growing up. I’d really like both of you there when Lori and exchange our vows.”

“If I can go to Alex and Yelina’s wedding, you should know I’ll be at yours.”

“Good,” Eddie smiled as they hugged. “Like I said, it’s nothing big. It’s going to be in a park not far from her parents. There will be a small reception at her parents afterwards. And I’d like it if Tony could come.”

“I’ll have Izzy talk to him.”

“Lori’s sister is single and I think they’d get along.”

“Maybe.”

“We’re home!”

“Uncle Eddie,” Cami squealed when she saw him sitting with her dad. 

“Hey, Princess Cami. Where have you been today?”

“Shopping with Mommy and Nonna.”

“What do you buy me?”

“Noting, silly. My dress no fit you.”

“I see.”

“Babe can you take Rory for me?”

“Sure,” Rafael said as he stood up and grabbed the ninth month old from his wife. She just steadily babbled, although Rafael swore she was saying “Dada”.

“So, did you hear the news?”

“Yes, Lori already told me, of course. You know we will be there.”

“Great. Okay, so I’m gonna head back home. I’ll see you guys in a few weeks?”

“Of course.”

Eddie left and Rafael and Izzy got the girls ready for their naps.

“Think Mommy could use a nap, too?”

“What are you hinting at, counselor?”

“I think you know.”

“Do I?”

“Come on. You know we only get a short amount of time to be…alone.”

“And yet you want more kids?”

“Come on,” he whined.

“You got 5 minutes.”

“Yeah, okay,” he laughed.  
__________________________________________________  
Alex always made a huge deal anytime he saw Rafael, which Rafael just ignored. He was always nice, made conversation, but Alex was just too friendly. Rafael knew it was out of guilt over what happened with Yelina. Rafael couldn’t care less about her if he tried.

He never thought that Yelina was his soulmate as it was. Yeah, he had followed her around like a puppy for years but once he found out the type of woman she actually was, he had no feelings for her other than friendly, and very little at that.

Lori and Eddie exchanged their vows on that beautiful day in March of 2003, and they all headed to Lorena’s parent’s apartment for food and cake. Rafael and Izzy took the girls while Yelina and Alex brought their daughter, Alexandria or Allie as she was called. 

“So, Rafi, when are you two going to add another to your family?”

“About two more years, Alejandro. We have our hands full with the girls and our jobs.”

“I don’t understand how you put your life in danger every day when you have children,” Yelina said to Izzy.

“Because I’m trying to make this city a better place for them and another other children we have in the future. Not to mention for your children, Eddie’s future children.”

“And she’s good at her job,” Rafael added. He didn’t like that Yelina seemed to be attacking his wife’s career choice. “So, Eddie, when do you have your next interview at Riker’s?”

“Next week. Thank you, Izzy, again for your letter of recommendation.”

“Consider it a wedding present,” Izzy joked.

“Speaking of, Yelina did you ever use ours?” Rafael asked.

“Actually…yes, I did,” she replied as she glared at Izzy.

“Hope they were helpful. Mi amor since we’re in the neighborhood, why don’t we go see Mami?”

“That sounds like a good idea.”

“Come on, guys stay a little longer,” Lori pleaded.

“We need to take the girls to see my parents and I have a case I need to prepare.”

“Well, thank you so much for coming,” Eddie said as he hugged them.

“Of course. Let us know about your interview.”

“I figure I won’t have to,” he laughed as he nudged Izzy playfully.

“I do have a lot of friends,” she chuckled. “Tony?”

“Yeah?” He asked as he broke away from his conversation with Lorena’s very pretty younger sister, Mariana.

“We’re heading to Raf’s parents.”

“Oh, okay. Mariana would you like to go grab a drink?”

“I’d like that, Tony.”

“So, everybody is just going to leave us?” Eddie laughed.

“Think you’ll be fine,” his new sister in law told him as she grabbed her jacket and purse.

Rafael, Izzy, and the girls weren’t far behind them and headed to Lucia and Miguel’s.

“Mami?”

“In here!” Lucia called from the living room.

“Abuelito!” Cami squealed as she ran to her grandfather.

“There’s Abuelito’s princesa. Where have you been in such a pretty dress?”

“Uncle Eddie and Aunt Lori got married.”

“I bet you were prettier than Aunt Lori,” he told her.

“Probably,” his granddaughter agreed.

“How was it?” Lucia asked.

“Nice. Small. And since we were close by, we decided we’d stop by before heading back to Brooklyn.”

“Well, I’m glad you did,” Miguel said as he took Rory from his son. He sat in his normal recliner, both of his granddaughters in his lap. Sure, Rafael didn’t have a great father but at least Miguel was a decent grandfather.


	41. Chapter 41

{2004}

You better shape up/cause I need a man/And my heart is set on you/You better shape up/You better understand/to my heart I must be true/Nothing left, nothing left for me to do/ You’re the one that I want/Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey/The one that I want

Rafael came in from a tireless day at the office to find his wife and daughters in the kitchen, listening and dancing to the “Grease” soundtrack while Izzy cooked dinner.

“I see you three are having fun,” he laughed.

“Dance wif me, Daddy,” Cami giggled.

“How can I say no to those brown eyes?”

“Me! Me!” Rory said as she held up her arms for her dad.

“Okay girls. One at a time.”

“Daddy,” Cami whined.

“Here, I’ll hold both of your hands and we dance that way. Si?”

“Si, Daddy,” Cami smiled.

He continued to dance and sing along to Danny’s parts until the song ended.

“Are you my little Sandy?” He asked Cami.

“No, I Rizzo.”

“I don’t think so,” he told her.

“Rizzo is cool.”

“Mommy was a Sandy,” he said with a grin.

“Whatchu mean?”

“I mean…she was a good girl like Sandy.”

“Rizzo a bad girl?”

“Well, no…”

“Rafa do you really want to have this conversation with our 3-year-old?” Izzy laughed.

“Why don’t you guys go watch TV while I finish helping Mommy?”

“We no stay here?”

“Well, I guess you can.”

“More moosic.”

“More ‘Grease’?”

“Si, Mommy. More ‘Geese’.”

“Mi amor.”

“Oh, stop, Rafa. You and I used to listen and sing these songs when we’d come home from college.”

“Shhh. You’re not supposed to tell anyone that.”

“I don’t think they’ll remember. Here, chop that onion.”

“Why do I always have to chop the onion?”

“Cause you have no emotions and don’t cry.”

“You have made me cry several times.”

“Rafa!”

“Why you make Daddy cry, Mommy?”

“I’m just kidding, princesa. Mommy is always sweet to me.”

“You love her.”

“Very, very much. Just like I love you and Rory very, very much.”

“Me most?”

“No, princesa. I love you two just the same. I just love Mommy a different way.”

“A kissing way?”

“And she’s only three?”

“And barely at that,” Izzy laughed.

“Is your brother coming over for dinner tonight?” Rafael asked after he heard their doorbell.

“He said he and Mariana would be by Thursday.”

“I’ll go see who it is.”

“Me, too,” Cami said as she followed her dad out of the kitchen.

They came back in just a few minutes later. “Mommy! Mommy!” 

“What, baby girl?”

“Uncle Nick is here!!”

“Oh my god, Nick Amaro! Get over here!” Izzy laughed as they hugged. “When did you get home?”

“About three days. Been trying to get back on New York time. It’s so good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you, too. You look good.”

“Thanks. Man, it’s good to be home and be with friends.”

“You’re always welcome here,” Rafael told him.

“I know. I’ve been asleep at Mami’s since my plane landed.”

“You are just in time for dinner.”

“Izz come on, I couldn’t…”

“There’s plenty, Amaro. Izzy says you’re staying for dinner then you know what’s happening. Come on, let’s go get a drink.”

“Right behind you, Barba.”

After a dinner of homemade ravioli, salad, and bread, they just caught up with Nick. They had spoken to him sporadically since he had been gone and he & Izzy had emailed back and forth some but he was home.

“I can’t believe how big Cami is and Rory. I mean you sent me pictures but wow, guys.”

“Have you talked to…”

“She’s in Baghdad last I knew, Izz.”

“Oh. So, you know my next question.”

“I’m starting Monday in narcotics with you.”

“No kidding?”

“Yep. I asked where you were and Harris so I’m with you guys.”

“Fuck yeah! I needed my partner back. Don’t get me wrong, Jefferson isn’t bad but nothing like having someone like you having my back.”

“I’ve always got your six, sis.”

“I know, Nicky.”

“I feel bad for Steven, honestly,” Rafael laughed.

“We were always ‘well behaved’ for him,” Nick added.

“No, I’m glad you’ll be back with her. I know you’ll always have her back.”

“You know it, Barba. This is my sister, even out of the blue. I’ll take good care of her for you.”

“Good.”  
____________________________________________________________  
“Mariana you didn’t have to help clean up,” Izzy chuckled as Lori’s sister helped clean up the kitchen after she and Tony had come over for dinner one night.

“I don’t mind, Izzy. I mean you did all of the cooking.”

“Well, Rafael did help.”

“And I thought he was Cuban,” she teased.

“I’ve taught him well but he’s taught me, too. So, you know I have to ask.”

“Uh, your brother and I are getting along really well.”

“Any thoughts on…”

“You know, Izzy, I’d like to think so but it’s been almost a year and we still have our own places. Yeah, we keep stuff at each other’s apartments but I keep getting this sense…he’s scared.”

“Just don’t pressure him. He’s been hurt.”

“I know but I’m not like that.”

“And I know that,” Izzy smiled. “Just give him time.”

“I am. He is pretty great.”

“Yeah well he is my brother,” Izzy laughed.

“You guys seem to have a really good relationship. Our brothers always act like they have to be our bodyguards or something.”

“Tony was like that with me in ways but we’ve always been best friends, too. He’s trusted me to make the right decisions as I’ve done him.” 

“He thinks the world of Rafael.”

“Rafael actually asked his permission to marry me before our dad.”

“Really?”

“In a matter of speaking, yeah.”

“That’s sweet.”

They finished cleaning the kitchen and found Rafael and Tony with the girls. Rory was pushing 2 and gaining more words while “Princess Cami” was almost 4 going on 13. Riggs would follow Rory around, push at her with his nose playfully and she would laugh, fall down, and he would shower her with “kisses”. He loved his girls.

“What are you guys up to?” Izzy asked.

“Just playing around,” Rafael laughed. “Rory bring the ball to Daddy.”

“No.”

“Bring the ball to Daddy.”

“No. Iggs ball.”

“Fine. Throw it to Riggs.”  
_______________________________________________________  
Mariana and Izzy watched the two grown men play with the huge dog and toddler girls.

“Baby I think I’m gonna head home,” Mariana told Tony after a while.

“You okay, baby?”

“Yeah. Just tired,” she smiled. She was an ER nurse at Beth Israel so when she said she was tired, she really meant it.

“Here. Take my keys and go to my place.”

“Oh. Okay. You sure?”

“Of course,” Tony laughed. “I’m gonna have another drink with my brother in law if that’s okay.”

“Of course, it is.”

“Great. I won’t be too long, I promise.”

“Izzy, Rafael thank you for another wonderful dinner.”

“Of course, Mariana. You’re welcome anytime,” Izzy told her as she walked to the door with her and Tony.

“I’ll see you at home, baby. I love you.”

Izzy was a little surprised to hear that come from her brother but she knew he meant it and it wasn’t the first time he had said it.

“Love you, too. Bye, guys!”

After Mariana left, Rafael and Tony continued playing with the girls for a little bit before they toddled off to their rooms.

“So, things seem to be going good with you and Mariana,” Izzy mused.

“She’s great,” Tony smiled. “Have you talked to Erin?”

“Tony seriously?” Rafael scoffed.

“I was just asking cause I know the last time she came to visit…things didn’t go so well.”

“Why would they? I got tired of basically being made fun of because I’ve been with one man and she always made it seem like our sex life is boring.”

“No details, please,” Tony laughed as he waved his hand in front of him.

“It’s just, Rafa was also tired of it and I didn’t realize how much so until he went off on her.”

“I get it, sis.”

“I love your sister and just because we don’t do everything she reads in ‘Cosmo’ or whatever doesn’t mean our sex life is boring.”

“I heard plenty when we all lived together Senior year of college.”

“Not only that, I don’t like the way she’s treated you over the years.”

“Yeah, I know,” Tony said quietly as he looked at his feet.

“And when it comes down to it, until my husband is 100% wrong about something, I will always have his back over hers.”

“You are Estella Fratelli-Rossetti’s daughter,” Tony chuckled.

“Hey, I will always stand by this guy,” Izzy said as she took Rafael’s hand in hers.

“And I’ll always stand by her.”

“I know, Rafi. I couldn’t have picked a better guy as my brother in law.”

“Well, you didn’t pick me.”

“But you did ask my permission to ask her out.”

“I’ll give you that.”

“Annnndddd you did tell me of your plans to propose before you ever talked to Pop.”

“I didn’t even have to say anything to him,” Rafael started laughing. “I went to his firehouse, told him I needed to talk to him and he said, ‘you want to marry my daughter’. He knew what I was there for.”

“We all knew you two were soulmates.”

“Maybe Mariana is yours,” Izzy told her brother.

“Yeah, maybe. Well, I told her I wouldn’t be far behind her. I guess I better make good on that. Love you, guys.”

“Love you, too,” they told him as he walked out of their door.

“So, you about ready to start trying for baby number 3?”

“Rafa!”

“What? Cami has the toilet mastered and Rory is getting there even quicker.”

“We’ll talk about it later.”

“Can we practice?”

“Well, duh! After the girls are asleep, of course.”


	42. Chapter 42

“So, this my connection I was telling you about,” Nick/Carlos told a tall Hispanic man as he introduced Izzy in their latest UC operation.

“This white girl?”

“Name’s Kelly, not white girl,” she told him as she rubbed her nose and sniffed, acting like an addict herself. Her hair was disheveled, her clothes were even worse. “Look, it’s simple. You want in or not? I’ve got another two guys I can unload this with.”

“Let me see what you’ve got.”

“You want to do it here or…”

“Come to this address in an hour,” he told her as he handed her a card with the address of an abandoned warehouse in Queens.

“You hear all that, Murphy?” She asked her Sergeant through the wire in her necklace once she was back in the beat-up 91 Honda Civic.

“Yeah. Do what you gotta do.”

“Copy that.”

UC operations in Narcotics made her more uncomfortable than any other ones and she had went undercover as a waitress in a strip club once, wearing less than she did in the bedroom at times. 

“You okay…Kelly?”

“Just fine…Carlos.”

“So, after we meet Hector with the product, your end is done.”

“What about you?”

“I’m getting in good with this cartel. I don’t know when I’m coming out.”

“Well, if I don’t get to tell you beforehand, take care of yourself.”

“I will.”

An hour later, Izzy made her way to Queens. The sun was starting to set. She grabbed the bag and knocked on the steel door.

Nick opened it and let her in.

“Open the bag, Carlos,” Hector told Nick.

He did and found the kilos of coke that Izzy had promised.

“You’re sure this is worth it?”

“It’s none of that stepped on shit you get in Washington Heights from Trujillo, if that’s what you mean.”

“You didn’t tell me your girl knew Trujillo.”

“Don’t let her fool you,” Nick laughed. “She knows more dealers than I do.”

“We could use you around. Clean you up, get you some new clothes.”

“Nah I know what happens to your girls. I ain’t about that life.”

“Well, if you ever change your mind,” he smiled as he tossed a duffle bag to her.

“You don’t mind if I check it, do you?”

“Go ahead, sweet thing, but it’s all there. I’m a man of my word.”

“Alright. I’ll be out of here then. Carlos.”

“See you around, Kelly.”  
___________________________________________________  
“Nick’s staying under?”

“Yeah, Raf. He’s moving up in the cartel from what Murphy said.”

She sat down with the dinner he had fixed that night, unsure if she would be home that night. She had been staying in a crappy apartment for the last week and she was more than happy to be home.

“Thank you for taking care of the girls while I was gone.”

“You weren’t gone, you were working,” he chuckled.

“Still, I wasn’t home.”

“They missed you but they did okay. Something on your mind, cariño?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged.

“Is your dinner okay? You usually love my pork chops.”

“It’s great, baby. I’ve been thinking…”

“Okay.”

“I think I’m gonna transfer out of Narcotics.”

“Really? You’ve only been there a year.”

“Yeah and I have a year at Major Crimes, two at Homicide.”

“Where are you thinking of transferring to?”

“Sex Crimes.”

“Seriously?”

“Lake is there. He seems to like it.”

“Which borough is he in?”

“Here in Brooklyn.”

“What about going back to Homicide with Campisi & Doom? You were just on loan to Narcotics cause of Harris anyways.”

“Yeah and it’s been a year. Sergeant Murphy has no intention of letting me go back.”

“Well, if you think it’ll make you happy.”

“You know what would really make me happy?”

“You’re ready to start trying again aren’t you?”

“How did you know?”

“I saw your pills in the trash before you went under.”

“So?”

“My boys are ready, I assure you.”

“Then we need to get to work.”

“The girls are asleep.”  
______________________________________________________  
“Hey. Thought I might find you still here,” Izzy smiled as she poked her head in her husband’s small office one night.

“Still going through grandy jury testimonies. I’m gonna be even later, cariño.”

“Can you stop for dinner?”

“I could eat,” he nodded with a smile.

“Here,” she said as he handed him a brown paper bag.

“You knew I hadn’t eaten?”

“I know my husband. When he’s the only one left in the building, it’s a safe assumption that the last meal you ate was lunch.”

“I’m not the only left in the building,” he retorted.

“You know what I mean.”

“Is that what you wore to court today?” He asked as he eyed her black knee high boots and black skirt that stopped above her knee.

“So? Is there a problem with it?”

“Skirts a little short, isn’t it?”

“Not really.”

“Shut and lock my door.”

“Raf…”

“Do what I said.”

“Fine.”

“And pull the blinds.”

“I came here to bring you food.”

“And while it smells great, there’s something else I want right now.”

She did what he said and then went behind is desk and sat on it.

“Came to bring me food, my ass,” he said with a small glare as his hand traveled up her skirt to find she wasn’t wearing any panties.

“Oh, you mean these?” She asked as she took the black lace boy shorts out of the bag that held his food.

Without a word, his lips were on hers as he undid his belt and dropped his pants and boxers. She undid his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, throwing them both on his chair. He pants were pooled around his ankles and all he had was his undershirt on while she was still fully clothed.

It didn’t take him long before he was hard and ready. He lifted her skirt just enough to enter her. His movements were sloppy at first but soon were smooth as he thrusted in and out of his wife. She buried her face in his neck to muffle any sounds coming from her. He was doing best to keep quiet as well. 

“Is this what you wanted?” He growled as his thrusting got harder and he tugged at her hair.

“Yes, Papi,” she whispered.

“You want Papi fuck you harder?”

“Pl-please,” she moaned. 

He slowly pushed her so she laid on his desk, put her legs on his shoulders, he could feel the leather of her boots against his neck as he started going faster and harder. The lamp on his desk ended up in the floor as she was reaching for something grab onto to brace herself. Papers, files, his name plate even ended up with the lamp as he kept going. “Fuck you always feel so good around my cock,” he moaned. “Is Papi gonna make you come?”

“Si…almost…there, Papi,” she panted. A few more deep thrusts and he sent over the edge causing him to cover her mouth so the janitorial staff wouldn’t hear her moans when her orgasm hit her.

It didn’t take him long to fill her up with his own release. He caught his breath before pulling out of her. She continued to lay on his desk with her legs in the air.

“What are you doing?” He laughed as he pulled his pants up.

“Just making sure your boys don’t get lost.”

“I think they have found their way before. Now get off my desk and help me pick up this mess you made.”

“The mess I made? Someone helped me.”  
___________________________________________________________

“What the hell are you doing in my building?”

“Lake meet your new partner,” Captain Ross told him.

“Oh, we go way back,” Chester laughed. “So, your transfer went through, huh?”

“Was there ever any doubt?”

“Not if you went through Harris.”

“How else would I do it?”

“Kiss ass,” he teased, “Come on, you can have that desk in front of me.”

“Oh, gee, thanks.”

“How are the kids?”

“Good. Just found out we’re expecting another.”

“Really?”

“Don’t say anything. I want to work as long as I can.”

“Your secret is safe with me. Think the counselor will get his boy this time?”

“If not, we’ll just try again.”

“I’m gonna laugh if you guys end up with nothing but girls.”

“He wouldn’t mind, I’m sure. They’d all be just spoiled as my oldest one,” she laughed as she unpacked the evidence box she brought with her.  
____________________________________________________

“Well, at least Ross isn’t being like Dodds and letting you take statements and things,” Rafael told his wife as they sat in an exam room waiting for Dr. Mitchell.

“True. I would like to be out more but at least I’m not just running through financials, phone records, and all that crap.”

“Hey, sorry to keep you two waiting,” the blond ob/gyn that had delivered their other two children smiled as she walked in. “So, how are you feeling, Izzy?”

“Still having a lot of morning sickness. With the girls, it seemed to stop once I got out of the first trimester. And I feel like I’m gaining more weight this time.”

“Well, why don’t you lay back and let’s see if we can see this baby.”

“You got it,” Izzy told her as she got comfortable. 

“Okay. Let’s look here. Huh.”

“Everything okay?” Rafael asked.

“Yeah, it is. You’re finally getting your boy.”

“Finally,” he laughed. 

“And you’re getting another girl.”

“What? Wait. What?”

She turned the screen to show them that Izzy wasn’t carrying one but two babies.

“That would explain the excessive morning sickness and gaining more weight this time.”

“But when we heard the heartbeat…”

“Sometimes they hide behind each other, even at the beginning.”

“You okay, Rafa?”

“Yeah,” he smiled. “I mean, I don’t think your parents expected you and Tony at the same time but they made it work.”

“They didn’t have two older children, either.”

“It’s going to be fine, mi amor.”

“Okay, so Daddy seems okay with it,” Dr, Mitchell laughed.

“I guess if he’s okay with it…so am I.”  
__________________________________________________  
“You’re kidding?” Eddie and Tony laughed as they as well as Lori, who was 3 months pregnant herself, and Mariana. Tony and Mariana had been living together for about 6 months at the time.

“Does Ma and Pop know?”

“Yes. Pop thought it was hysterical.”

“There better only be one in here,” Lori playfully slapped Eddie on the arm.

“God, I hope so. Damn, Rafi, you gotta be the best at everything you do?”

“Hey, all I did was fill her up. She was the one that had two eggs get fertilized.”

“Do you have to be so crude,” Izzy laughed. “And that happened because of two of your sperm.”

“At least you’re finally getting your son.”

“That’s true, Eddie.”

“Are you guys gonna stop now?”

“We said 5 or 6, Tony. This only puts us at 4 so we still have…”

“We’re still discussing it,” Izzy replied to her brother while interrupting her husband.

“I still think it was that night in my office. The math adds up right.”

“What was special about that night?” Mariana laughed.

“Well, we went at it on my desk…”

“Dude!”

“Don’t go there, Tony. I’ve visited you a few late nights in your office.”

“OOHHHHHH!!!!!” They all laughed.

“Anyways, you were saying, brother in law?”

“After we finished, your sister decides to be a smart ass, lay on my desk with her legs in the air to make sure ‘my boys don’t get lost’. Two of them obviously did not.”


	43. Chapter 43

“What’s wrong, mi amor?” Rafael asked his wife as they laid in bed.

“Just tired.”

“Twins wearing you out?”

“Yeah. Wonder if me and Tony fought this much when Mom was carrying us.”

“Probably so. We want them active,” he chuckled as he rubbed the cocoa butter on her belly like he had always done when she was pregnant with the girls.

“I know.”

“What else is on your mind?”

“Nothing.”

“¿Por qué crees que puedes mentirme (why do you think you can lie to me)?”

“I haven’t heard from Nick. I don’t know if he’s still under or if he’s still alive. He doesn’t even know we’re having twins. What if he’s not here in time…”

“He’ll make it, mi vida. Don’t get yourself upset worrying about it.”

“I know. It’s just hard not to. I mean, I did a year in Narcotics but never went under for this long.”

“I know. Try to relax, baby. We, well you, still need to come up with names for the kids.”

“I know. How did I get stuck naming these two?” She laughed

“I named the girls. It’s only fair.”

“And what about the last one or two?”

“I’ll name number 5 and you can name number 6.”

“I like those names.”

They both just started laughing.

“I love you,” he told her once they stopped and leaned over and kissed her. It got deeper and more passionate.

“Rafa?”

“Si?”

“¿Hacerme el amor (make love to me)?”

“Nunca tienes que preguntar, mi amor (you never have to ask).”  
__________________________________________  
“Look at you,” Nick laughed once he had brought down the guy he had been “working” for UC.

“Yes, I’m huge, thank you,” Izzy said as she rolled her eyes when they hugged. “So, are you done?”

“I’m done with UC, I’m done with Narcotics. I’m moving to Warrants.”

“Warrants? That’s gonna be boring.”

“Maybe that’s what I need. Especially now that Maria is home and we’ve been talking…”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he smiled. “So, we’ll see what happens. All of the feelings are still there on my end especially.”

“Awesome, Nick.”

“So, where’s Barba?”

“Him and his dad took the girls to the park so I could rest.”

“How much longer do you have?”

“4 weeks. I’m having to use some of my personal time cause my blood pressure keeps spiking. I’m hoping I don’t have to have a c-section.”

“You just get my niece and nephew here safely.”

“I will.”

Nick stayed a little longer and visited with his longtime friend before going to meet Maria.  
_____________________________________________  
“Okay, the babies are in perfect position for you to actually be able to give birth to them.”

“Good, Dr. Mitchell,” Izzy said with a sigh of relief.

“Are you ready?”

“I think so. I mean, I’m about to have babies coming out of me like I’m a log ride at a theme park.”

“You’ll be fine, Izzy,” Dr. Mitchell laughed. “Well, I hope you have names picked out cause one is ready. Let’s start pushing.”

April 4th, 2005 the twins arrived. The first born was their daughter. It wasn’t a few minutes later and Rafael’s son had finally arrived.

“Can you have visitors yet?” Stella asked as she peaked her head in the room.

“Of course, Ma. Come in and meet your grandchildren.”

“Rafael said the girl came first just her mother,” Anthony laughed. “So, did you ever pick out names for these kids?”

“Yes, Pop. Rafael is handing you…Rafael Jr or RJ.”

“I like it,” Anthony smiled as he took his grandson.

“And who do I have?” Stella asked.

“You have Rafaella Elizabeth or rather, Ella.”

“So, they were both named after their father?”

“I will never let your daughter name another child,” Rafael teased.

“I like the names,” his mother in law told him with a hint of that Bensonhurst attitude.

“Thank you, Ma.”

“Yeah, they weren’t so bad, I guess,” Rafael kind of laughed.

“You finally have your boy.”

“That I do. I can only hope he’ll have my looks and his mother’s athletic abilities.”


	44. Chapter 44

“How many visitors have we had in the last two days since we brought the twins home?”

“700?” Izzy laughed.

“Feels like it. I’d like to have time with just them and the girls. We can’t get adjusted with everybody in and out.”

“Everybody’s just been excited that they’re finally here.”

“I know but shit. Do you know how many times I have held my son since we’ve been home? I held him more in the hospital.”

“In two years, you’re gonna be begging for babysitters.”

“Mommy?”

“What’s the matter, Rory?”

“I have that bad dream again.”

“Which one?”

“With the scary green monsters.”

“You mean Gremlins?”

“Yeah.”

“Your brother’s never babysitting overnight again,” Rafael whispered. “Come on, bebita. Get in here.”

The brown haired, brown eyed almost 3-year-old happily climbed into her parents bed and snuggled between them.

“Dammit.”

“What’s wrong, mi amor?”

“I gotta pump again,” she said showing him her shirt.

“Well, you have fed them both a lot since we’ve home. The more you feed, the more…”

“I know. I’ll be back,” she told him as she threw the covers off of her and headed to the living room.  
______________________________________________  
She had been in there for a little while when Cami came in, rubbing her eyes.

“Baby girl what are you doing out of bed?”

“I couldn’t sleep. Riggs is snoring.”

“Mommy will make him come to our room in a little bit,” she laughed. 

“Where’s Rory?”

“In bed with Daddy.”

“Oh. What are you doing?”

“Getting milk for the babies.”

“Do you have to do that every day?”

“Yes, I do. I had to for you and your sister, too.”

“That’s where our milk came from?” She asked, astonished.

“Yes, it did.”

“That’s gross.”

Izzy just laughed at her daughter’s facial expression.

“It’s better for babies to have this kind of milk.”

“Did you have that kind of milk from Nonna?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Eww.”

“It’s not so bad.”

“Mommy?”

“Huh?”

“Why hasn’t Aunt Erin come out here? Are you mad at her?”

“We had a disagreement a while back.”

“Do you still talk to her?”

“Every once in a while. Mostly on the computer.”

“Why did you have disagreement?”

“When you’ve been friends as long me and Aunt Erin, sometimes you just need some time apart. We have different lives.”

“Oh.”

“Why don’t you go get back in bed? I’ll get the dog in just a little bit.”

“Okay, Mommy.”  
_____________________________________________  
Izzy was feeding Ella when she heard her husband scream from the twins room.

“Oh lord, Ella what could’ve happened now,” she laughed.

Rafael came back with RJ and huge wet spot on his white t-shirt.

“Are you lactating, too?”

“Very funny,” he said as he put his son in his swing and took off his shirt. “I do not have a golden shower fetish and I’d rather my son not do it to me either.”

“Then you better get a little quicker when changing his diapers.”

“I’ll remember that when you get hit.”

“I’m quick.”

“What time is our next nanny interview?”

“In an hour.”

“And what’s this one’s name?”

“Um, Jonathan.”

“Excuse me?”

“He’s got a degree in Early Childhood Education, certified in CPR, worked for his last family for three years, and has experience with twins.”

“Go back to the name.”

“Jonathan. Jonathan Rhodes.”

“So, a man. A manny? Really?”

“Don’t start, Chandler Bing. He sounded really nice when I spoke to him and not to be presumptuous, I believe he might be gay.”

“Well, that I could live with.” 

“Okay then.”

“I just don’t need some young guy around, flexing his muscles while he’s cleaning, getting you all hot and bothered…”

“You are the only that gets me all hot and bothered.”

“Is that right?”

“We do have four kids.”

“How much longer do we have?”

“3 weeks.”  
_____________________________________________________  
“Here, I can get those, Mrs. Barba,” Jonathan told her as she came in with grocery bags.

“Jonathan how many do I have to tell Mrs. Barba is my mother in law?”

“Sorry, Izzy.”

“The kids okay?”

“Twins have been asleep for about 30 minutes, Rory has been for about 15, and Cami is in the living room with a friend of yours.”

“A friend of mine?”

“Yeah. She said she came in from Chicago. The girls knew her so I hope…”

“It’s fine,” she smiled.

“I’ll put these away so you can go visit with your company.”

“Thank you.”

She walked into the living room to find Erin and Cami on the couch.

“So, you just show up from Chicago without a phone call?”

“I know you hate surprises.”

“Come here,” Izzy said as they hugged. “How’s Chicago?”

“Windy as ever she laughed. What’s up with that very cute nanny?”

“He’s gay and fabulous.”

“I can’t catch a break.”

“Did you see them?”

“Of course. RJ had that same face his dad makes when he gets mad while he was waiting to be fed.”

“You could’ve helped.”

“The last baby I fed threw up all over me and there she sits,” Erin laughed as she pointed to Cami.

“I’m really glad you’re here.”

“Me, too. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too. Cami why don’t you go quietly watch TV in your and Rory’s room?”

“I wanted to stay with Aunt Erin.”

“I’ll be here for a couple of days, Cami.”

“Okay.”

“You want a drink?”

“Sure. Absolut?”

“Neat as usual?”

“Of course,” Erin laughed.

They walked into the kitchen to grab some glasses and get the vodka out of the freezer.

“I can get that for you guys, Izzy.”

“Jonathan you are the nanny not the butler.”

“I don’t mind, really.”

“I can get it.”

“I need to finish the laundry anyways and take Mr. Barba’s suits to the dry cleaner.”

“See? You have plenty to do without playing Sam Malone as well.”

They grabbed their drinks and went back to the living room.

“Well, he does it all, doesn’t he?”

“I expected someone just to take care of the kids but the last two families he worked for said he likes to stay busy and take care of his families, not just the kids.”

“That’s good. So, listen, I didn’t just come out here to see the babies. I mean, I did but…I owe you an apology.”

“Okay?”

“I have made fun of you over the years and I didn’t realize that it bothered you or Rafael so much. I was just playing around.”

“Yeah, well, you know he still kind of has a complex over our first time.”

“That was 11 years ago.”

“I know but he always wanted it to be so much better and I think that’s why he works so hard now in bed,” Izzy kind of chuckled.

“Part of me…I guess part of me was jealous. You know before Hank and Camille took me in and even after, I used sex as a form of validation. I never had anyone that made me feel special like you do. I mean he doesn’t just treat you like a warm body. Well, I had one person that didn't treat me like that, but I lost him. He’s happy with Mariana?”

“He is, Erin.”

“Good. He deserves it.”

“So, how long are you gonna be in New York?”

“Just two days. Captain Perry barely let me have these two days on such short notice.” 

“I go back to work in two weeks.”

“Are you ready?”

“Not really,” she laughed. “Cami will be going to pre-k at the end of the summer.”

“Cue her dad having a breakdown.”

“I don’t think pre-k will be bad. Kindergarten on the other hand…”

“God, I can’t believe you guys have been married 5 years and now you have 4 kids.”

“And he still wants two more.”

“You’re going to need a bigger place.”

“Oh, no shit,” Izzy remarked sarcastically.


	45. Chapter 45

Rafael came in around 9:00 that night, his briefcase hitting the floor with an even harder thud than usual.

“That must be the man of the house,” Izzy said as she went to greet him with a kiss.

“How are the kids?”

“Well, hello to you, too,” she chuckled.

“Sorry, mi amor. Today was just…Erin.”

“She came in to see the babies.”

“Fine but I’ve had a shit day so if you’re here to judge my sex life, you can leave now.”

“I came to see the kids, not to be a wiseass, Barba. I promise.”

“Okay.”

“They’re beautiful by the way.”

“Thank you. How long are you in town?”

“Just two days.”

“You know Tony…”

“I know they live together. I’m just here to see my friend and her kids. That’s all. I wouldn’t want to cause any problems with him and Mariana.”

“As long as we’re clear. We don’t have a guestroom anymore but…”

“I can ride the couch, Barba. It’s fine.”

“I have so much stuff to go over tonight. You know I hate bringing this shit home with me but…”

“Go to your office. I’ll bring your dinner and a drink.”

“Always the dutiful wife.”

“Erin.”

“Come on, Barba. I didn’t need mean that bad. I don’t have anyone to take care of or I’d probably be the same way.”

“Raf,” Izzy whispered.

“Okay. Thank you, baby.”

“No problem.”

“How does he not have an ulcer?”

“I have no clue, Erin. Some of these cases just eat away at him. And cue RJ.”

“You just laid him down two hours ago.”

“Yeah but even at a month old, I swear he hears his dad’s voice and he’s up.”

“Aww that’s kind of sweet.”

“Ella is just like, ‘whatever bro, I’m sleeping’.”

Izzy heated up Rafael’s dinner and poured him a glass of scotch to take to him. She walked into his home office to find him singing Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” to his son to get him back to sleep. He ran his huge hand over his sons dark hair, just sort of smiling. “I love you, so much, RJ. You and your sisters. I don’t care if I lose this case, when I look at all of you, I know I’ve done something right in my life.”

“Hey,” Izzy said quietly. “I heard you singing.”

“All the kids seem to like that song.”

“Yeah, you’ve been able to soothe them with that.”

“It doesn’t compare to your ‘Here Comes the Sun’,” he smiled.

“I think it might be better. You want me to lay him back down?”

“No. I will in a little bit.”

“Don’t let your food get cold.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve eaten a cold dinner. It’s at least worth it this time.”

Izzy just reached over and kissed her husband on his forehead before leaving him alone.  
_______________________________________________________  
“The kids are asleep and I’ve been cleared so get over here and do me,” Izzy told her husband as she grabbed him by his Harvard t-shirt he was wearing to bed.

“Excuse me?”

“I didn’t stutter.”

“Are-are you sure?”

“What…did…I say?”

“Are you sure I won’t hurt you?”

“Of course not. When have you hurt me?”

“You always have to ‘adjust’ to me, even if it’s only been a few days.”

“You can’t help that you’re so well-endowed.”

“You’re gonna make me blush, Mrs. Barba,” he teased.

“Come on,” she whispered as he began kissing his neck, placing little bites as she made her way to his earlobe. She gently took it between her teeth, causing him to shudder. Her hand traveled under the covers, and down his plaid pj bottoms. 

“God,” he moaned quietly as she began stroking him slowly.

His hand slid in her panties, two fingers going inside of her, his thumb rubbing circles on her clit.

“I need more,” she panted as he got her closer to an orgasm.

“Bend over.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You know as much as I love your tits, I’m still an ass man and I love to watch yours bounce while you take every inch of me.”

“Since you put it that way…”  
____________________________________________________  
“You did you know you wanted to marry my sister?” Tony asked his brother in law one Saturday afternoon in August while Izzy was working. Jonathan had the day off, the girls were with their Bibi, leaving Rafael alone with the twins.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, was it just how you felt or…”

“It was a combination of things. More so it was how I imagined my life after law school and there she was. Everything I imagined doing, your sister was always by my side. I guess that's how I knew. I mean, I knew at 20-years-old who I wanted for the rest of my life. Hell, I knew at 19. And honestly, I never believed in that whole soulmate kind of stuff. After Yelina, I was prepared to be single, possibly forever. Why?”

“Mariana and I have been together 2 years, we live together, and I think she wants more but I just don’t see it.”

“See what?”

“Marriage, kids.”

“With her or anyone?”

“Anyone, really. I mean I really do love her but I like what we have.”

“I don’t know what advice I could offer you other than to tell you she’s not going to wait around forever if she is wanting that stuff. I mean, come on, Yelina couldn’t even be patient when it came to sex with me. She found someone that would give her what she wanted.”

“Yeah, I know. Who is that?”

“That would be your nephew,” Rafael told him after hearing a baby fussing over the monitor. “It’s time for him to be fed.”

He got out a bottle that Izzy had already made up and warmed it up. Like he had done with the girls, he tested the heat by putting a few drops on his inner arm and without thinking, just licked it off.

“OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!” Tony screamed in disgust.

“What are you talking about?”

“You just licked breast milk off your arm?”

“So?”

“That is juice that is squeezed from my sister!”

“Again, so?”

“Ugh, man! That’s just…that comes out of a human!”

“There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s kind of sweet actually.”

“I don’t want to hear any more!”

“I put in my coffee sometimes.”

“WHAT?!”

“I’m just fucking with you,” Rafael laughed. “You mean to tell me that if you ever did have a wife and child, you’d never taste it?”

“Not even if my wife’s breast had a picture of a missing child on it.”

“Oh, grow up. Come on. Your niece will be up soon.”


	46. Chapter 46

“Look at him,” Izzy gushed over Lori and Eddie’s son, Julian, who was born about 6 weeks after the twins. With work and everything else, they hadn’t got to see him yet and they had only seen the twins once. It had been about 4 months so they made time to get together.

“Look at these two,” Lori laughed as she hovered over the twins as they sat in their swings. “They are getting so big.”

“5 months old,” Rafael chuckled.

“Are…does Ella…it looks like her eyes are going to be actually blue,” Lori mused.

“My grandfather actually had blue eyes,” Rafael told her, “and I read somewhere that a brown-eyed and a green-eyed person have like a 12.5% chance of having a blue eyed child.”

“She’s gonna be trouble, Rafi,” Eddie teased.

“No, the one that’s gonna be trouble is the one that looks exactly…like…her mother.”

“And whose fault is that?” Izzy asked her husband.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he replied as he looked away.

“So, did you guys hear?”

“Hear what, Eddie?”

“Guess who’s pregnant again.”

“You don’t say,” Izzy scoffed.

“Yep. She just can’t stand it that you’ve had 4 and they’ve only had 1.”

“And we planned all of ours, well 3 of them,” Rafael chuckled.

“Oh, well, if she feels like she has to compete me with me in some way, that says more about her than it does me,” Izzy told them.

*BARK*

“Riggs hush!”

*BARK, BARK*

“He wants to go outside, Raf.”

“You want to go with me, Eddie?”

“Oh, sure, why not? We’re safe to leave you ladies alone?”

“Now, what kind of question is that, Eduardo Garcia?” Lorena asked him with her arms crossed.

“Okay. We’ll be back.”

The guys and the dog left.

“Izzy can I ask you something?”

“Sure, Lori.”

“Do you ever…you ever feel trapped sometimes?”

“I’m not sure what you mean, I guess.”

“Like with the babies and Rafael and work. Do you ever just want to just take a trip alone? Just leave everything behind for a few days?”

“Sometimes,” she kind of laughed. “I think that’s normal though. Sometimes it feels like my life is guns, bad guys, paperwork, breast milk, pumping breast milk, diapers. Too tired to have sex half the time.”

“I know that feeling. I swear every time Eddie comes near me, Julian just knows.”

“Ella is the same way. We were in the middle of it the other night, being quiet, then we heard on the monitor just making noises at first so I thought okay we can keep going, she’s impressed by the lights from the mobile on the wall. As soon as I was getting there, she went to full on screaming.”

“There was no finishing after that.”

“No there was not. But I love being a mom and a wife. I think we just all get overwhelmed at times.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Lori half smiled.  
_____________________________________________________  
It was an unseasonably warm day in October 2005 so Rafael and Izzy had taken the kids to a park in the Bronx after going to see Lucia and Miguel, who ended up joining them.

“Glad to see Rafi and his dad getting a long,” Lucia told her daughter in law as they sat on a bench, sipping caramel macchiatos from the Starbucks around the corner.

“Yeah. Things have gone pretty well for them over the last few years.”

“Rafi will never forgive his father but I don’t expect him to. At least he won’t just have all those bad memories anymore.”

“That’s true. Miguel does do well with the kids.”

“Higher, Abuelito,” they heard Cami call from the swing.

“If I push you any higher, mija, you’re gonna fly off to the moon.”

“The moon’s not out, silly.”

“Well, excuse me, princesa,” he laughed at his granddaughter. “You’re already too smart just like your Papi was.”

“Is that bad?”

“No. Your Papi is a lawyer now so it’s good to be smart like that. It will get you very far in life.”

Rafael was busy with the twins in the bucket seat swings while Rory just went up and down the slide. Izzy noticed a small smile on her husband’s face when he heard what his father said.

“Rafi?”

“Oh, Jesus,” Lucia muttered under her breath when a heavily pregnant Yelina and Alex came from the other side with their daughter.

“Oh, hey, Alex. Yelina.”

“I can’t stand her,” Lucia whispered. “She’s gonna drag Alex down just like she tried to do my son.”

“Shhh, Mami,” Izzy giggled.

“Look at how big these two are,” Alex beamed at the twins. “RJ looks just like you.”

“Where did Ella get these blue eyes? Are you sure they’re yours,” Yelina tried to joke, causing Lucia to come off that bench with a lightning speed.

“My father, god rest his soul, had blue eyes, Yelina,” she told her as a matter of factly. “So, that’s obviously where she got them.”

“Señora Barba, ¿cómo está?”

“Estoy bien, Alejandro,” she answered curtly.

“Heard you were running for State Senator,” Rafael added.

“When are you going to get into politics, Rafi?”

“It’s going to be a long while, Alex. Yelina how much longer do you have?”

“A month. You two plan on having any more?”

“Eventually,” Izzy smiled.

“Where’s the girls?”

“Over there with my dad,” Rafael told her as he pointed to the swings.

“Well, we were just about to grab something to eat. Would you like to gather your kids and join us?”

“Actually, Alex, we were gonna get my mother and take her to dinner with us.”

Rafael and Izzy looked at each other before looking at Lucia. They hadn’t made any plans for dinner.

“Oh, well, another time. Hope I can count on your votes.”

“Sure thing,” Rafael told him as they hugged.

“It was good to see you guys again.”

“Everything okay?” Miguel asked as he came over, a granddaughter slung over each of his shoulders.

“Dad should you be doing that?”

“What? I used to do this to you.”

“You almost dropped me once.”

“That’s because you were squirming cause you were laughing so much. Besides, I have old man strength now.”

“Old man strength, huh? Okay, well, we need to get them home…”

“What did I say about dinner?”

“Mami come on. With Dad being on disability you don’t need to be spending your money on taking us all to dinner.”

“It won’t be a 4 or 5-star restaurant like you two are used to but we can handle taking you all to dinner.”

“Besides, I’ve been doing a little work under the table at the garage.”

“Dad do I have to remind you that you are on disability, that is illegal, and you just told that to a cop and lawyer?”

“Are you going to have her arrest me?”

“No but not the point.”

“I don’t do anything dangerous. Change an alternator here, replace a headlight there. I don’t get under the cars.”

“Come on. Let’s go get your grandmother.”  
________________________________________________  
“’Genius throws baby in trash’,” Lake said as he held up a copy of The New York Ledger with the girl in their latest case on the front page. 

“How do you think I should charge her?” Rafael snarked. 

“Wire service picked up the story. I just got a call from Samaritan hospital in Newark. Nurse there remembers Ella from about a year ago,” Izzy said as she hung up her desk phone.

“She was raped?” 

“Uh, no, Rafael. She had just given birth but didn't have a newborn to show for it. They called the cops.”

“This nutcase is a serial baby killer.” 

“She said the baby was stillborn, and they had no evidence to the contrary. The garbage had already been picked up.” 

“Yeah, and who wants to go through a Newark dump in August?” Lake remarked. 

“They found the remains a few weeks later. By then, the doctors couldn't tell if the kid had ever taken a breath.” 

“She killed that baby but by then, the most they could have gotten her on is illegal disposal of a corpse. A misdemeanor and her first offense,” Rafael added. 

“Well, not her last,” his wife answered. 

“How come this never made it into the news?” 

“Ella's father is a city councilman. Everett Drake.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope.”

“She’s being released from the hospital today.”

“Go pick her up. I want her arraigned today.”

“People versus Ella Christensen. Attempted murder in the second degree, endangerment of a child, and child abandonment. How do you plead?” 

“Not guilty.” 

“I'll hear the people on bail.” 

“Well, a million has a nice ring to it,” Rafael remarked. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” 

“The defendant is a flight risk.” 

“To where, Jersey? She's a U.S. citizen.” 

“Given the severity of her crimes, and the fact that she killed a baby once before.” 

“My client was never charged with that crime. In fact, there was no crime. That fetus was stillborn. Your honor, this poor girl lost a child. How dare the people twist that tragic incident to suit their own needs.”

“You have got to be kidding,” Rafael scoffed. 

“No, you are. My client doesn't have as much as a parking ticket!” 

“I'm sure if she did, she'd just throw it in the trash along with her babies.”

Lake and Izzy found the arraignment to be a little on the entertainment side. Her husband had no fear in the courtroom. 

“Oh, all right, that's enough out of both of you. As I believe the defendant is not a threat to anyone but her own offspring, the court is requesting that, in exchange for a lower bail amount, she does not get pregnant again before trial.” 

“That's unconstitutional!” Her defense attorney argued. 

“I'm not ordering that she be sterilized, Mr. Berger. But if you do become pregnant again, young lady, you will be found in contempt of this court. And bail will be rescinded.” 

“Your honor has no right to legislate procreation.” 

“You think you could manage to comply with that order, Ms. Christensen?” 

“I don't know,” she said flatly. 

“Fine. Bail is set at $2 million, cash or bond.”  
______________________________________________________  
Ella had been less than cooperative during the investigation, including not naming the father. Imagine Izzy and Lake’s surprise when they found out the baby belonged to her long lost father, the city councilman.

“This just gets better and better,” Chester remarked. “Think his wife knows?”

“He put up their house for collateral to bail Ella out. I would guess not.”

“Shall we pay them a visit?”

“Why not?” 

Izzy got sick to her stomach when she saw Everette and Ella in what could only be described as a loving embrace. 

“I don't think it's appropriate for you to be here,” he told her and Chester. 

“Well, I don't think you're fit to talk about what's appropriate.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“I'm sorry to be rude, Mrs. Drake. I just got a little upset when I saw your husband working on a third baby to kill. Did you tell your wife that her grandson is also her stepson?” 

“What?” 

“Your husband's been cheating on you. With his own daughter.”

Ella was found not guilty of attempted murder in the 2nd by reason of mental defect. The surviving child was lucky to have no chromosomal abnormalities. The entire case bothered Izzy and Rafael. 

“Do you guys need me to do anything else before I leave?”

“Not at all, Jonathan. Thank you so much for cooking dinner,” Izzy told him.

“Not a problem. Oh, and that dress of yours I picked up at the dry cleaners today? Girl you are gonna look fierce Friday night.”

“That’s the whole plan,” she laughed. “We normally don’t attend these political events but my brother talked us into it.”

“I feel bad for any of the other DA’s wives if they even think they’ll hold a candle to you.”

“You need to stop,” she laughed. “Have a good night.”

“I will. Bradley is waiting with tickets to ‘Mamma Mia’, as if we haven’t seen it 100 times.”

“Well, 101 will not kill you. Tell him I said ‘hi’.”

“I will. See you in the morning.”

“I swear if he wasn’t gay, I’d think he was flirting with you,” Rafael said as he came in to get another glass of scotch.

“Will you stop?” She chuckled as she rolled her eyes.

“Which dress are you wearing Friday?”

“That green one you like.”

“The one that’s tight in all the right places and with the slit up your thigh?”

“Yep.”

“You trying to kill me?”

“Nope. Just want to make sure I have your attention all night and not Arthur Branch or Jack McCoy or Casey Novak, Donnelly, Sonya Paxton, O’Dwyer, my brother, or anyone else. Just me,” she teased. 

“I see coat room sex happening.”

“Hush.”


	47. Chapter 47

The twins had turned one in April of 2006, Cami was on her way to kindergarten having turned 5 December 2005, and Rory was bright as ever having turned 4 in May of 2006. 

They spent time with Eddie, Lori, and Julian throughout most of the summer when they weren’t busy working. They even found themselves having semi-pleasant dinners with Alex and Yelina and their girls a few times.

“How are long are you going to be in Manhattan?”

“I have no idea, Chester,” Izzy told her partner as she packed up her desk in September 2006. “Detective Benson is working with the FBI and they don’t know how long she’s gonna be gone. Some detective from Warrants has been assigned over there, too. Danny Beck?”

“Never heard of him.”

“I keep meaning to ask Amaro about him.”

“How’s he doing?”

“Good. Him and Maria’s daughter (Zara) just turned 1 in July. Things seem to be going good.”

“Tell him I said, ‘what’s up’ next time you talk to him.”

“Will do, Chet. Are you reading that cold case file again?”

“Eh, we don’t have a case and you never know what might pop out at me.”

“I’ve worked with you for how long and you look over that same case every chance you get. Don’t you think you would’ve found something you missed?”

“You never know,” he shrugged. “Have fun. Don’t forget about us over here.”

“I’m sure I’ll be back,” she laughed.

“Barba!”

“I’m going, Steven!”

“Does he ever get off your back?”

“When he’s sleeping,” she scoffed. “He’s hard on me but it’s made me a better cop over the years.”   
________________________________________________  
She walked into the 16th precinct to be met by a blond in what looked like a military jacket. “Are you lost, honey?”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry. I come across a little brash sometimes. Dani Beck.”

“Uh, you’re Dani Beck?”

“Yeah, that’s right. Are you coming from the academy or…”

“Uh, no. Detective 2nd grade, Elizabeth Barba.”

“Oh! Right, yeah, of course.”

“Hey, there she is.”

“Hey, Stabler.” She had worked with a few of the detectives at Manhattan SVU while in Brooklyn and had built up a pretty good report with them, especially Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler.

“Cragen’s out for the moment but he should be back any minute. There’s a desk over there to put your stuff.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Barba, Fin! My office,” a short, bald-headed man called as he walked through the squad room to his office, quickly. She hadn’t had time to be introduced to Fin before orders were being barked at her.

“You must be Barba?”

“And you must be Fin,” she replied as they walked into Cragen’s office.

“You guys will have plenty of time to get know each other. I need the two of you to go speak to this so-called sugar daddy of Gabriella Travino.”

They found the guy at the Manhattan Tennis Club and he was a total prick, refusing to come answer some questions.

“Well, I guess we can wait for him to finish his game,” Fin shrugged.

“I’m not that patient,” she said with a smirk that would rival her husbands any day, “And I hate tennis.”

She walked over to the microphone, “So we won’t find any of your semen on her clothing, Mr. Williams?”

He ran back up and told them that he and the victim had a fling but he wasn’t able to break up with her because her daughter was hugging some “creepy” homeless guy. They relayed the information to Stabler and Beck who went to the find the man.

“I like your style, shorty,” Fin laughed as they got in the squad car.

“I worked with Robert Goren for a little bit. You learn a few tricks,” she shrugged.

The man was worse for the wear to say the least. He was filthy, injured, seemingly confused. Izzy didn’t like Dani’s initial treatment of him either. His “home” was covered in newspaper clippings about Manhattan SVU cases.

“Dani is all over the place with the Travino case. She’s got a homeless suspect at the hospital and the victim’s landlord in the holding cell,” Cragen told them as Izzy and Fin followed him into the squad room.

“I thought the landlord’s alibi cleared,” Fin said.

“She’s holding him on solicitation and coercion. You two take him over to Vice and tell Dani that’s not what we do in SVU. Can you handle that, Barba?”

“Copy that, Captain.”

The homeless man ended up being Detective John Munch’s uncle and he was not the person that was good for the crime.  
____________________________________________________  
“You think we should look for a place in Manhattan?” Rafael asked one night while they sat on their bed, each holding one of the twins.

“Babe the market’s still in the toilet.”

“I know but there’s a lot of places we could get for a lot less than they’re worth with all the foreclosures that have happened.”

“That sounds terrible.”

“What?”

“Profiting off of someone else’s misfortune.”

“I didn’t mean it like that, mi amor,” Rafael chuckled. “It’s not the time to sell but it is a decent time to buy.”

“I love this apartment though.”

“We’re gonna have another baby soon.”

“Not that soon. We said when the twins are out of diapers.”

“Remember when we got this one? You thought it was too soon but we got pregnant with Rory really quick.”

“Yeah but we’re not even trying right now.”

“I know. You’re right I guess,” he said with that crooked smile that always made her melt. “What?”

“What?”

“You were making those googily eyes at me. The last time you made those, we ended up with these two.”

“Shut up,” she laughed. “I always look at you like that.”

“Not always.”

“What do you mean?”

“The other day when I forgot it was my turn to take the trash to the chute, I got this look,” he said as he imitated his wife’s anger face, albeit much more exaggerated.

“Mamamamamama,” RJ babbled as he held is arms out for his mom.

“Guess he wants to switch.”

“Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side, young man.”

Ella bounced over and switched places and sat in her dad’s lap.

“At least one of my kids loves me.”

“I love you, too,” Cami called from their doorway.

Rafael motioned for her to get on the bed, too.

“What about me?”

“Come on, Rory,” Izzy told her.

“So, we have two blonds and two dark headed kids. What do you think the next one will be?”

“You’re having another baby?!” Cami asked excitedly.

“Not yet, mija. In a few years,” Rafael laughed.

“Oh. Will I be able to talk to it in Mommy’s belly like I did the twins?”

“Of course, you will. By then, the twins will be talking to it as well.”

*BARK*

“Ugh, end of the bed, Riggs,” Rafael told him. He was so huge, he basically took up the entire end of their bed. He was a good dog though. He was good with all of the kids. When the twins started crawling, he got in the floor and “crawled” with them.

“Why can’t we go to the party with you guys Saturday night?”

“Bebita we already explained this. This a party being thrown for your Pop-Pop and his promotion and it’s adults only.”

“But Abuelita and Abuelito are going.”

“That’s because Nonna and Pop-Pop invited them. Pop-Pop is now Battalion Chief so all of his firefighter buddies are throwing this big party and it’s just no place for kids.”

“Okay,” Cami said, doing her mother’s fake pout.

“You and Rory are going to have a good time with Uncle Nick and Aunt Maria.”

“What about the twins?”

“They are going to Uncle Eddie and Aunt Lori’s. We will get you all the next morning and we’ll go to the park, get pizza, and then ice cream after. How about that?”

“YAY!!!” Cami and Rory both cheered when Rafael told them that. The twins mocked their older sisters with the same cheer.  
_____________________________________________  
Speeches were made about Anthony’s many accomplishments throughout his career. Some of his oldest friends made a slide show of pictures, including the one of Izzy in her dad’s gear when she was about 7.

“That is still my favorite picture of you,” Rafael teased her.

Anthony got up and made a speech of his own. Thanking everyone he worked with over the years that helped become the firefighter he was. He made his share of jokes at his kids’ expense and Stella’s a few times who just laughed at her husband of 34 years.

“I know everybody’s getting tired of the speeches and hearing of my many, many, many accomplishments over the years and ready to get this party started. Before we do that, I have one request. Most of you here know my beautiful daughter Elizabeth or Izzy as her brother ‘named’ her when they were two. In 1993, Stella and I dropped our kids off at Harvard. Little did I know her brother’s roommate would be her soulmate.”

Izzy immediately teared up as Rafael took her hand. 

“I loved Rafael from the moment I met him. Always ‘yes, sir’, ‘no, sir’. Very respectful. He came to me, after they had been dating for oh, about 4 years. Walked into the firehouse and said he needed to talk to me. Well, I’m smarter than the average bear and knew what he wanted. We started planning their wedding his last year of law school but, some of us, I’m not saying any names, Lucia and Stella, weren’t listening to what they wanted for their day. So, what did they do? Ran off to Puerto Rico and eloped. To say I was upset was understatement. Of course, I got over it. The only thing is, I never got to share that first dance I had always planned on. So, we will get this party started only if my daughter will agree to dance with me to the one song I used to always sing to her and dance with her to when she was a kid.”

Izzy knew what song it was and the tears fell even further when she heard Stevie Wonder’s “My Cherie Amour” start playing. She wiped her eyes and met her dad on the dance floor.

“You remember this, kiddo?”

“How could I forget, Daddy? The last time you sang this to me was when I broke up with Rafael and I laid my head in your lap on the couch and you just let me cry until I fell asleep.”

“Then I picked you up and put you in bed, just like when you were a kid. I hated seeing you in so much pain."

"But we're okay now."

"I'd say so," Anthony laughed.


	48. Chapter 48

“Nonna, sono qui (Nonna, I’m here),” Izzy told her Nonna Giada who had suffered a stroke. She used her left hand and stroked her granddaughter’s face.

“La mia bella Elizabeth. Sei sempre stato il mio preferito (My beautiful Elizabeth. You were always my favorite).” Her words were sort of slurred but Izzy could understand her. “Prenditi cura di Rafael e lascia che si prenda cura di te (You take care of Rafael and let him take care of you).”

“Nonna non parla così (Nonna don’t talk like that).”

“Sono stanca, piccola. Tuo nonno mi sta aspettando (I'm tired, baby. Your grandfather is waiting on me).”

“Basta che lo fanno aspettare più a lungo (Just make him wait longer),” Izzy kind of laughed. Her grandfather had passed away right after the twins were born and she knew her grandmother was lonely without him. They had met in a small village in Italy when they were 14 and immigrated to the states before Mussolini took over.

“Prenditi cura dei miei pronipoti (Take care of my great grandchildren). Sono la tua eredità (They're your legacy).”

“Nonna.”

“Sto solo andando a riposare gli occhi (I’m just going to rest my eyes).”

Izzy sat at her Nonna’s bedside by herself for thirty minutes before she took her last breath. She called Stella and Tony to let them know she had passed on. Stella had just went to her mother’s house to get a few things for her and didn’t expect her to pass so soon or else she would’ve never left her mother’s bedside.

Tony had called Rafael because Izzy was too much of a mess. 

“I’m here, mi amor,” he said as he just wrapped his arms around his wife when he got to the hospital.

“She’s gone.”

“I know, baby.”

“Where the hell is my sister?” Stella asked angrily.

“Mama.”

“I’m sorry, Izz but your aunt should’ve been here two days ago.”

“I know. Come on. We can go make the arraignments ourselves.”

“Well, if anybody knew her, it was you.”

“Let’s do it tomorrow, okay? I need to tell the girls.”

“You’re right. Okay.” Izzy and Stella just stood in the hall of that Brooklyn hospital and cried while they held each other.  
____________________________________________  
“So, Nonna Giada is up in Heaven now?”

“Yeah, Cami. She is. Which means, she’ll always be with us.”

“I’m gonna miss her,” Rory told her mother.

“I am, too, baby.”

“Why do people die?”

“Different reasons, Cami. I think she missed your Nonno Alonzo too much and she just wanted to be with him.”

“You mean, she died of a broken heart?” 

“Maybe, Cami. They were together a very long time. They came over here from Italy when they were only 16. No money and just the clothes on their backs. They went through a lot but they raised your Nonna and Aunt Donna. They had a happy life and they loved you so much. Never forget that, okay?”

“I won’t. She gave me this,” Cami said as she went and brought her mother a gold chain with a locket on it. Izzy opened the locket to find a picture of her and Rafael.

“When did Nonna Giada give this to you?”

“When you and Daddy took us over there while you went to that play with Uncle Nick and Aunt Maria.” That had been about two months before that day. “She said it used to have a picture of her and Nonno but she had it changed a long time ago so I could always have my parents with me.”

“Baby why didn’t you show me this?”

“She made me promise.”

“Put it back in your jewelry box, okay? Don’t ever lose it.”

“I won’t, Mommy. I promise.”  
_____________________________________________  
“I think Nonna would’ve liked the lilac casket.”

“I think you’re right, Izz. She loved every shade of purple,” Stella smiled. 

“Have you heard from Aunt Donna?”

“She said they were on their way. Didn’t say where they were or anything like that. Don’t know if her kids are coming.”

“Okay. Did you call her sister back in Italy?”

“I did. She will be here tomorrow.”

“Good.”

“All her brothers have been gone for years. Mama wasn’t that old.”

“She missed Nonno.”

“I think you’re right, baby girl.”

“So, Stella do we have everything settled?” Anthony’s brother, Angelo, who owned the funeral home asked.

“Yes, Angelo. Thank you so much for taking care of Mama.”

“Of course.”

“Yes, thank you, Uncle Angelo. Guess Grandpa was wrong about you going into this business.”

“He was. I make a killing. I’m so sorry, Stella. That was a poor choice of words.”

“Oh, Angelo, actually, I needed that laugh,” she told her brother in law as she hugged him.

“Glad I could be of help, even if I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s completely fine. Really.”

“You just let me know if you need anything else. Rosa will be bringing some food to the house later.”

“Thank you, Angelo. Why don’t we go back to the house, Izz?”

“Sure, Ma.”  
______________________________________________  
They arrived back to her parents Bensonhurst residence to find her cousins and Aunt Donna.

“Where the hell have you been?”

“I’ve been here,” Donna told her.

“I call you three days ago when Mama had her stroke and now you come?”

“Can we just go to the funeral home…”

“It’s taken care of,” Stella told her younger sister.

“Oh, you and Izzy planned our mother’s funeral?”

“Well, besides me, Izzy knew her better than anyone.”

“Is that right?”

“Uh, yeah? Your daughters were too busy getting knocked up to spend time with their grandmother, unlike mine.” 

Izzy was a little shocked at her mother, but not much.

“That’s because she was a nerd,” Julianna popped off.

“I’m sorry. You have how many kids by how many different men?” Izzy asked.

Soon, it was every Fratelli woman for themselves. Luckily Anthony, Rafael, and Tony came in and pulled them apart. Not before Izzy got a few good swings on Julianna and Mia. They were the ones that tortured her as a kid so it was a long time coming really. Daria just hid in the kitchen during the whole thing.

“Okay, that’s enough! Everyone is grieving and your mother wouldn’t want this!” Anthony told Donna and Stella.

“Well, she should’ve been here.”

“You think I could handle seeing Mama like that?”

“So, you just left it on me and my family?! Grow up, Donna! Pop died and now Mom’s gone! This is what happens when people get older!”


	49. Chapter 49

“Every day I walk her home from school  
And she tells me how she really feels  
And there's no doubt in my mind  
That this girl is one of a kind  
Cause all I keep thinking about is her in my arms  
And I won't feel the same until she is mine  
You got to cool it now  
You got to cool it now  
Ooooooh watch out  
You're gonna lose control  
Cool it now  
You got to slow it down  
Slow it down...  
You're gonna fall in love  
All I keep thinking about is her in my arms  
(Got to see what love is all about)  
And I'll never be the same until you are mine  
And my friends keep telling me..  
When ya got a girl who takes her time  
You must slow the pace you can't mess with her mind  
If she feels the same she'll letcha know  
Just prepare yourself or be ready to go  
And I hope this message stays in your mind  
Cause you almost lost a girl who is right on time  
There's one more thing that ya got to know  
Just cool it down and stay in control”

“Yo, Shorty,” Fin said scaring Izzy from her New Edition sing along.

“Sorry, thought it was just me,” she laughed as she took the earbuds from her ears.

“Nah, I’m getting OT, too. But listen here, ‘Why you all coming down on me/Tryin’ to tell me how my life is supposed to be/I know you're only trying to help me out/Tryin’ to show me what life is really about/But this time I'm gonna make it on my own/So why dontcha fellas just leave me alone/Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike/If I love the girl who cares who you like’.”

“Cool it now, ooohhh watch out,” they both sang.

“Didn’t take you for a NE fan.”

“Please, Fin. I saw NE at Madison Square Garden on the ‘All for Love’ Tour.”

“Well, take those headphones out and let’s jam, Izz.”

While Izzy and Fin listened to New Edition, they worked a late night on their latest case.

“You hungry, Shorty?”

“Fuck yeah.”

“You have anything against Chinese at 2 in the morning?”

“Fuck no.”

“Whatchu want?”

“Kung Poa Chicken with fried rice.”

“Izzy likes her chicken spicy.”

“Yes I do,” she laughed.

“I got you, girl.”

She hadn’t been at the 16th very long, but Fin made her feel very welcome. Like he had her back no matter what. She always had that with Nick and Campisi and even Chester. It was rare to find partners like that.  
_____________________________________________  
“You bitch. You transfer to Manhattan SVU without me?”

“Oh, Louise shut up,” Izzy laughed as she and Campisi had lunch.

“Why didn’t you come back to Homicide a few years ago? Your spot was left open.”

“How many times are we gonna have this conversation?”

“So, what do think about Beck?”

“Not much. I mean, yeah, Martin Riggs is one of my favorite fictional characters but she amplifies it.”

“Girl you have more Sex Crimes experience than her. You need to let her know.”

“Cragen already had me tell her off once.”

“See?”

“Rory has been asking for Auntie Louise. When are you gonna spend time with your goddaughter?”

“I just did!”

“Two years ago, fool!”

“My bad. So, when can we expect another Barba baby?”

“Another year or two we might start trying. What about you? What happened with Doom?”

“He wanted more than I wanted to give.”

“Ousier.”

“What, Claree?” They had often referred to each other as Shirley MacLaine and Olympia Dukakis’ characters from “Steel Magnolias” over the years.

“The older you get, the sillier you get.”

“Yeah, well the older you get, the uglier you get,” Campisi laughed as they clinked their wine glasses.  
_____________________________________________________  
It was late 2008 and Izzy was pregnant with baby #5. The squad had been through a lot with Fin’s “step-son” getting off on a double murder, Chester coming over to help pick up the slack. Cragen was “relieved” of his Captain duties for a short time after the now Sergeant Munch botched his first case.

“Whooo.”

“You okay, Izz?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, Liv. He’s just beating me up a little,” she laughed referring to the son in her belly.

“Can I feel?”

“Sure, Liv.”

Benson placed her hand on Izzy’s belly and the baby kicked. “Wow.”

“There he is.”

“What have you named him?”

“Matteo. Matteo Vincent.”

“I like that,” Liv smiled.

“We’ve tried to name all of our kids with some sort of Italian or Latino names.”  
___________________________________________________  
“How much longer you got, Shorty?”

“Uh, 9 weeks, Fin,” Izzy answered as she sat at her desk working on their latest case.

“And you and the counselor are still planning on having one more?” He laughed.

“We always said we wanted a big family.”

“I could barely manage one. So, you find anything proving about the break-in of that pharmaceutical company?”

“Just what Hailey told us.”

“Do you understand any of this stuff?”

“I have a Psychology degree from Harvard and I’m still lost when it comes to transgender issues to be honest. I mean you heard what Huang told us, the brain develops has one gender while the body develops as another. That’s the most I ever learned in college.”

“Things used to be so much simple back in my day.”

“Your day? When you used to party it up at Studio 54 with Cher?”

“I’m not that old, kid,” Fin chuckled.

“Still older than me. Ooh.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah. He’s just being a little stubborn like his father.”

She felt a pain she had never felt in her other three pregnancies in her back.

“Uh, Fin?”

“Sup?”

“Can you get me to the hospital?”

“Yeah. You sure you’re okay?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Come on. I’ll call Cragen on the way.”  
_____________________________________________  
“Izzy you’ve had a placental abruption,” Dr. Mitchell told her.

“What does that mean?”

“This baby has to be born today.”

“I’ve got 9 more weeks.”

“We can’t wait that long. We can lose both of you if we don’t do an emergency c-section.”

“Can’t I wait on Rafael?”

“There’s no time. We have to do this.”

“Okay.”

Fin called the Brooklyn DA’s office and Stella to get ahold of somebody, anybody.  
“Look, I don’t care that he’s in court. His wife is having an emergency c-section meaning his son is being born premature. So, you do what you have to do to get him out of court and to the hospital,” he told Barba’s assistant.

Fin didn’t know what was said but Rafael soon met his parents and Fin in the waiting room at Mount Sinai in Brooklyn.

“How is she?”

“We haven’t heard anything yet, counselor. They were getting her prepped for the surgery was the last thing we knew.”

“Thanks for getting her here, Fin.”

“Of course. I’m gonna head back over the bridge and let the squad know what’s going on. Keep me updated?”

“Of course, detective.”

He held it together as he didn’t know Fin well enough to show how he really felt. He was shaking, inside and out, he was scared to death. His wife was going through a major surgery alone. His son was coming into the world way too early. 

“Mijo sit down.”

“I can’t, Mami.”

“She’s gonna be fine. They both are,” Miguel told him.

“Rafael?”

“Dr. Mitchell how are they?”

“Your son…he’s on his way to the NICU. His lungs still aren’t fully developed, he weighs about 4 lbs…”

“Is he gonna make it?”

“A few weeks in the NICU and I think he’ll be fine.”

“My wife?”

“We can’t stop the bleeding.”

“What…what does that mean?”

“Our best bet is a hysterectomy.”

“Now?”

“Now but I have to have permission. You’re her medical proxy…”

“I don’t care what you have to do. Just save her.”

He sat in the chair between his parents and just lost it. 

“She’s gonna be okay, mijo.”

“What if she’s not, Dad?”

Miguel put his arm around his son and for the first time in many years, Rafael actually felt like his dad was being well…a dad.

“I can’t sit here,” he told them as he got up.

Lucia reached into her purse and handed her son a rosary she always kept with her.

He sat in the chapel of the hospital, clutching the cross so hard it was leaving an imprint on his hand. His son was having tests run on him while his wife might not make it through her surgery. How would explain to Matteo what his mother went through to bring him into the world safely if something happened to her? How was he gonna raise a 9 year old and almost 7 year old daughter, almost 4 year old twins? How was he going to live his life without his best friend, without the one he had waited on since he was a teenager.

“Rafael?”

“Anthony?”

Chief Anthony Rossetti just took his son in law in his arms and let him sob.

“I can’t lose her, Dad. The kids need their mother, I need the love of my life.”

“Shh. She’s tough.”

“The last thing they told me is she keeps losing blood.”

“She’s gonna be okay.”

“If she’s not?”

“God forbid something happens to my daughter but if it…if it does, you’ll never be alone. That I can promise you.”

“Mr. Barba?”

He wiped his eyes as he stood up to talk to the surgeon.

“She’s stable and in recovery. We had to give her 12 pints of blood but she’s going to be fine.”

“Does she know what kind of surgery…”

“In situations like this, I find sometimes it’s best if the spouse breaks the news.”

“Okay.”

“You can see her in about 30 minutes.”

“Thank you.”

“In the meantime, your son is ready for a visitor.”

“Okay.”

“Go see my grandson,” Anthony told him. “I’ll come get you when she’s ready.”

He just nodded as he headed to the NICU.

Matteo Vincent Barba was so tiny. Rafael was almost afraid to touch him but the nurses encouraged him to do so, so he stuck his finger in the incubator and that tiny baby, that had no idea the struggle it took to get him there safely put his tiny hand around his father’s finger while he looked at him.

“You’re gonna be okay, Matty,” he whispered as tears fell like a river from his eyes. “You and Mommy both will be home soon. I promise.”  
_________________________________________________________  
He walked into his wife’s hospital room. She was still pale from the blood loss but he still found her beautiful.

“Hola, mi amor.”

“Hey. Did you see him?”

“Yeah. He’s tiny but they say he’s gonna be okay.”

“Good,” she smiled. “I heard him cry and that was the last thing I remember. I never got to see him. I don’t know what happened.”

“They couldn’t stop the bleeding. Listen…I…uh…I had to make a decision.”

“What do you mean?”

“There was really only one way they could save you and that was to have a…a hysterectomy.”

“What?”

“That was your only hope of surviving really.”

“You let them take away my ability to have children?”

“I had to. We’ve been together 15 years and I’m not ready to lose you.”

“I’m only 34 and I can’t have any more kids?”

“I’m sorry. I just did what I…”

She just sat there and cried. Rafael wasn’t going to apologize though. He had to save her.

“Mi amor…”

“Just…please. Don’t.”

“You hate me now, don’t you?”

“I don’t know what I feel.”

“I did what I felt was right. Our kids need their mother.”

“Can you just leave me alone for a little bit?”

“Izz…”

“I said please!”

“Okay,” he nodded as he got up off her bed and walked out the door. Anthony, Stella, Lucia, Miguel, and Tony stood when he came out.

“How is she?” Stella asked.

Rafael’s head just sort of bobbed up and down before he spoke through his tears. “She hates me. I took away her ability to have any more children.”

“She doesn’t hate you. She’s upset, sure. That’s a hard thing to process but my daughter loves you. Has for 15 years,” Stella told him while she hugged him. 

“Why don’t you take the grandparents to see Matteo and I’m gonna go talk to my sister.”

“Okay.”

“Hey, sis,” Tony said quietly as he walked in the room.

“Hey.”

“You okay?”

“I’m barren now but other than that…”

“Stop it. He did that to save your life.”

“There had to have been something else…”

“There wasn’t or he would’ve had them do it. They couldn’t keep you conscious after Matteo was born cause you were losing so much blood. They had to give you 12 pints, plus plasma. Don’t be mad at him.”

“I’m not mad at him, Tony. I just can’t give him any more kids.”

“You think he cares about that? He cares that you’re alive.”

“I can’t even see my son.”

“You will.”  
__________________________________________________  
“I can’t believe I have to leave my son here,” Izzy said as she had been discharged after a week.

“He’s gonna be okay. You need to rest.”

“I haven’t even got to hold him,” she said with tears in her eyes.

“You will soon, okay?”

“And you’re sure…”

“What did I tell you? We can adopt as many more kids as you want. I think we’re very blessed to have 5 but we can always add more.”

“Okay,” she nodded at her husband. 

“Jonathan said he has no problem working longer hours so you can rest and not have to worry about the other kids so much while I’m at work.”

“Thank you.”

“No, thank our ‘manny’,” he chuckled. “He offered. I didn’t have to ask.”

“We did get lucky with him.”

“Yeah, we did.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I want to stop by the NICU before you take me home.”

“Of course, mi amor.”  
____________________________________________________

Rafael was at the hospital every day when he got finished at work. They still hadn’t been allowed to hold Matt and Izzy was feeling something she had never felt. It was almost like a fog. Campisi would come to visit as would Nick and Maria. 

She wouldn’t let Rafael touch her at night in bed. Some days she’d just lay in bed with the TV going even though she wasn’t paying attention to it. Cami and Rory had fallen in love with a new show on Fox “Glee” and when it first premiered, Izzy liked it too but she found little enjoyment in it, “House”, or any of her other shows.

“Can we talk?” Rafael asked one night after dinner.

“Sure,” she shrugged.

“I think you need to see someone.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve never acted like this after any of the other pregnancies, including the twins. You’re depressed.”

“Well, maybe if I could bond with my son.”

“You go to the hospital almost every day.”

“Yet I haven’t been able to breast feed him, I’ve got to hold him for maybe 20 minutes and he went into respiratory distress.”

“He’s getting stronger every day.”

“I want him home.”

“And I want my wife back. The kids want their mother. You think Cami and Rory haven’t noticed that you’re not the same? You need help.”

“I just want my son,” she cried.

“I know you do. I want him home, too. We have to let the hospital take care of him. In the meantime, you need to be taken care of, too.”

She felt even worse because she couldn’t make the milk like she did with other kids, even with the NICU nurses and doctors encouraging her to bring her own milk for Matteo.  
_______________________________________________  
Her depression got worse as the days went on. She wanted her son home but she couldn’t produce any milk for him. After 5 weeks in the NICU, Matty was able to come home and Izzy still couldn’t connect with him.

She still wasn’t making enough milk and their parents were all in the house.

Sure, they were trying to help but it really wasn’t helping. Izzy felt for the first time she failing as a mother.

“Oh he’s sleeping,” she said as she noticed Matty in his bassinet asleep in the living room.

“Yeah, I gave him something to eat. Passed right out,” Lucia told her.

She looked in the fridge to find what milk she was able to pump out for him still there.

“Why is this still here?”

“I gave him some formula.”

“What? Lucia he’s never had formula. I pumped while he was in the NICU.”

“I thought your milk might be keeping him awake on the account of the medication.”

“Oh, Jesus. What the fuck?”

“Okay, just calm down, Izz.” 

“No, I’m not gonna calm down, Lucia. I have always loved you like a second mother but you’ve crossed a line!”

“Hey, I was just trying to help.”

“No, you weren’t. You have no idea what I’m going through. You chose to have one child while I wanted a big family and now I can’t have that.”

“Baby you have 5…”

“I wasn’t done, Mami. What if your son doesn’t want me now? I gave him 5 children but what if that’s not enough?”

“Hey, hey, what’s going on you two?” Rafael asked as he heard his wife and mother arguing for the first time ever.

“Just stay out of it, Rafa. Do you think this is easy for me, Lucia? Motherhood is the most natural thing for a woman and I’ve had 4 kids already. But somehow, I am struggling, at 34 years old. I cannot seem to make enough milk. I’m filled with anxiety, I feel weak, I feel embarrassed because of all the things I can’t do and you are making me feel so much worse!”

“Okay. It was just a little formula. Don’t you think you’re overreacting?”

“I’m not. I’m just not,” Izzy repeated.

“Rafi you need to talk to her cause she’s acting crazy.”

“Mami no. I think…I think you need to go home,” Rafael told his mother.

“Rafi…”

“No, Mami,” he said as he walked over to his bawling wife.

A few days later, Rafael and the rest of the kids found Izzy with Matteo on the bed. She was giggling at him on his big pillow.

He knew that his wife was getting better. He ushered the kids out of the room.

“Why don’t you try to feed him?”

“Think I should?”

“Why not, babe?”

“Okay,” she said as she got Matty in position and he latched on like it was “old hat” to him. His tiny hand wrapped around Izzy’s finger as he fed.

“He just needed his Mommy,” Rafael mused as he kissed her cheek.

“I guess so,” she smiled.


	50. Chapter 50

Izzy had taken Matteo to the precinct to see everyone and came back to find Lucia having a glass of wine in the kitchen.

“I hope you don’t mind. I let your mother in law in,” Jonathan told her.

“It’s fine.”

“I wanted to come by and just talk to you for a minute.”

“Okay.”

“You were right. I crossed a line. You weren’t yourself and I was trying to…”

“Stop. I’m sorry for yelling at you. I know you were just trying to help. The thought of you being able to…do what I couldn’t…”

“Okay, shh. It’s okay,” Lucia whispered as she hugged her crying daughter in law. “I know everything is still hard.”

“It really is, Mami. I started to take my birth control the other day. I can’t get used to this…”

“You will, mija.”

Matty started fussing.

“Why don’t you go take a long hot bath and I can take care of him. Do you have bottles made?”

“Yeah. There’s plenty in the fridge. Thank you.”

“Of course,” Lucia smiled as she wiped the tears off her daughter in the law’s face. “Now go. I’ve got him.”

The bath really felt nice and she knew her son was being taken care of so she could relax. She looked down that the scar about her bikini line. It was healing like it was supposed to but the rest of her still wasn’t.

She almost felt empty inside. She’d never have another period, which that part didn’t really bother her cause her cramps had always been terrible. She wouldn’t create another life. The best thing about the hysterectomy was the fact they only had to do a partial which left her ovaries and meant she wouldn’t have to start hormones anytime soon.

After her bath, she put on a pair of dark blue cotton pj bottoms with a tank top and a robe that matched the pants. Lucia was rocking Matty just like Izzy did while Jonathan had went off to run his errands for the day.

“You look relaxed.”

“I am.”

“You want me to put him in his crib and you can lay down, too?”

“I can put him in there.”

“Are you guys at least looking for a new place?”

“Your son has been. He found a condo in Manhattan. It appraised at like $5 million but they’re only asking for the pay off basically.”

“Foreclosure?”

“Yeah. Guy worked on Wall Street. It’s got like 7 rooms so all the kids could have their own and he can have his home office, 3 bathrooms. I mean we really would get it for a steal and it’s in Murray Hill.”

“Decent neighborhood with decent schools.”

“True.”

“You’d be closer to work.”

“But Rafael would be further away.”

“Sacrifices are always gonna have to be made.”

“I know. Well, thanks for your help, Mami.”

“Any time. You’re gonna be okay. I know it.”

“Thank you.”  
____________________________________________________  
“Hey, she’s back,” Munch laughed when Izzy came back to work in April 2009.

“What have I missed?”

“Everything,” Liv joked.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, Captain.”

“Come in my office for a minute, okay?”

“Yes, sir.”

Izzy took a seat in Cragen’s office as he shut the door.

“I got the letter from Dr. Lindstrom and he believes you’re fit for duty.”

“But you don’t?”

“I didn’t say that. It’s just that girl I talked to on the phone…that didn’t sound like the girl I requested almost three years ago.”

“She’s still here.”

“Good to know. If you start to feel like it’s becoming too much, I expect you to let me know.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay. Now, go find your partner.”

“Who is it this week?”

“Who was it when you left?”

“Got it, Cap.”  
______________________________________________________  
“That’s it. I’m done.”

“What do you mean, Fin.”

“With paperwork. First time in five years.”

“Let’s sneak out of here really slow and quietly,” Izzy whispered as she got up from her desk.

“Guy downstairs says I need to speak with a special cop,” a blond lady said as she walked into the precinct. 

“We're Special Victims Unit. How can I help you?” Fin answered her. 

“I haven't seen my granddaughter in four days.” 

“Does she live with you?”

“Uh, my daughter went to Atlantic City with some girlfriends for the weekend. She's been home for over a day, and I haven't seen my grandbaby since.” 

“And you think your daughter had something to do with her disappearance?” 

“She used my car when she was away. And now, Sierra's gone. And the car smells like a dead body.”

Fin looked at Izzy as they were the only two in there.

“Let’s go.”  
___________________________________________________  
“Ashlee Walker. Put the hose down, please,” Fin said as they found the blond washing out the trunk of the car. 

“You went to the cops?” 

“Where's your daughter?” 

“God. You are such a bitch. I told you she's at the babysitter's,” Ashlee told her mother. 

“You know what? You're full of crap! That's it. You know that I'm Sierra's babysitter.” 

“Yeah. You were until two weeks ago when you got drunk and left her in the bathtub.” 

“You're a liar! I do not drink!” 

“Ladies. Ladies. We're not here to play Family Feud. We just wanna know that Sierra's okay,” Izzy told them as she got between them. “What happened in here?”

“A cooler tipped over and some meat had spoiled.”

“Okay, so where’s your daughter?”

“At the babysitter, like I said. I was about to go pick her up.”

Sierra or the supposed babysitter were not at the address Ashlee had given them.

“Are we sure this isn’t another Susan Smith or Casey Anthony?” Munch quietly asked Izzy when they got back.

“I fucking hope not.”

“Izz maybe you should sit this one out.”

“I’m fine, Sergeant. Really.”

“Well, in any case, stick with Fin.”

“Got it.”

“Look at this,” Fin said as he opened a video on one of the screens in the precinct. “So, Maria said her credit card was stolen but it was used to purchase a tarp and a shovel? Look who’s buying the shit at the same time with Maria's credit card.”

“Ashlee Walker. Son of a bitch,” Izzy muttered.

“Pick her up for the stolen credit card,” Cragen instructed. "Get that shovel and get it to CSU."  
___________________________________________________________________  
“Hey. You guys find anything on the Walker shovel?” Stabler asked O’Hallorian as he and Izzy walked into the Crime Lab. 

“That's what we're discussing now.” 

“Well, put an ASAP on that soil, O'Halloran, and you're all good.”

“I did that. Like I said, that's what we're going over now.” 

“We're like one brain,” Stabler smiled. 

“The only thing unique is high levels of polyaromatic hydrocarbons.” 

“Say again?” 

“Polyaromatic hydrocarbons are a by-product of petroleum. Levels this high, gas had to be leaking straight into the ground. Like fuel from an underground tank.” 

“You're thinking Sierra was buried somewhere near a gas station?” Izzy asked. 

“Yeah. Can you imagine? Going to a gas station to fill up, buy some smokes, you know, not that I smoke, because that's nasty, but, like, there's a mom there burying her kid? I’d go, ‘Holy crap!’,” the younger and very annoying CSU tech Dale Stuckey interrupted. 

“Hey, Dale. Be a real help and bring these files next door,” Brian told him to get rid of him. 

“I'm on it. Hey. Bing, bang, bong.” 

“Now you know what I have to deal with. So, a gas station, with cars coming and going at all hours. I mean, it's too risky, even for a kid as dumb as Ashlee. Maybe it was a station out of business or even torn down. Ever since the '80s, every gas station has had to register with the Department of Energy. Each red dot represents a gas station, operational or closed. Now, the blue circle in the middle is the Walker House.”

“It's going to take weeks to investigate every one of those sites,” Stabler sighed. 

“Ashlee may be a selfish brat, but she's not a psychopath. She would have been scared. So, she would want to bury Sierra someplace familiar, where she felt safe,” Izzy added.

“I’m gonna go talk to her father. Izzy take this back to the Captain and let him know what Brian found.”

“Got it, El.”  
_____________________________________________  
Ashlee’s dad pointed them to a place where her and her friends used to party and nobody would bother them.

“Everyone tread lightly! We’re looking a dead body!”

“Stuckey will you shut up? Don’t you see the vultures already here?” Izzy said referring to the reporters that had gathered.

“I thought you and Stabler would like the glory?”

“Wait. You called the press? Have you lost your fucking mind?”

“I was trying to make you guys look good.”

“Do me a favor and don’t. Just do your job.”

“I’ll find her. I promise.”

“Idiot,” Izzy muttered.

“We got something,” one the other techs called out.

“What did I just tell you?”

“Yeah, good job, Stuckey,” Stabler remarked sarcastically. “How many times do I have to tell you to be careful?”

“Do I tell you guys how to do your job?”

“Actually, you do. Now step back,” Stabler told him.

“Is that a doll? It’s a doll, huh?”

“What did Stabler just tell you?”

“Oh shit. It’s a body! We got a body!” Dale called out.

“Jesus Christ what’s the matter with you, huh?!” Izzy said as she pushed him away.

“Detective stand down,” Cragen told her.

“Get him away from my crime scene.”

“Why don’t you take a breath, Izz?”

It was the body of Sierra Walker.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine, Fin.”

“Come on. We need to tell Cabot to add the murder charges.”

“Yeah, let’s go.”  
___________________________________________________  
“You wanted to see me, Captain?”

“Stuckey filed a complaint against you.”

“I barely pushed him and he was…”

“I don’t like him anymore than you do. Nobody does.”

“So, what, I gotta go to IAB now?”

“Tucker would rather not deal with the headache and the Chief of D’s doesn’t want to deal with it either so I’m handling it myself. I think you need another week off.”

“Captain…”

“This is a non-negotiable. One more week at least. Spend some time with your family.”

“Fine.”

“I know you think I’m being hard on you…”

“You’re really not,” she kind of chuckled.

“We’re a family here, for better or worse, so I look out for all of you, well except Munch,” Cragen laughed. “He can handle himself.”

Izzy got home to find all her kids busy with something, except Matt who was sitting in his oscillating chair just enjoying the vibration.

“What are you doing home, Mommy?”

“Uh, we found out what we were looking for so Captain Cragen said I could come home. What are you working on, Rory?”

“Math. It’s a lot harder now.”

“You’re only in the second grade. It’s going to get so much harder over next few years.”

“Oh, hey, Izzy, I didn’t hear you come in,” Jonathan smiled as he came in with a basket of laundry.

“I just walked in the door, maybe 5 minutes ago.” 

“Oh, okay. I started a roast for dinner. It should be ready by the time Rafael gets home.”

“You should know we can never count on him to be home a decent hour every night,” Izzy laughed. “When was the last time you fed Matty?”

“Hmm, actually that was next on my list after I put this stuff away.”

“Well, I think I’m going to take him to my room and feed him.”

“Not a problem. I’m sure I have something else on my list anyways.”

“Come on, handsome,” she said as she got her son out of the chair and took him to her room. “I think Abuelita was right. We are definitely going to have get a bigger place so you don’t have to sleep in Mommy and Daddy’s room.”

She sat in the rocking chair as he fed. He let go once he was full and just looked at his mom. Of course, he had no idea what she went through to get him here safely, the decision his dad had to make to save his mother so she could be there for him and his siblings, the internal struggle she was still having. 

“Hola, hermosa.”

“Hey. You’re home early,” she smiled.

“So are you.”

“I kind of got taken off the case.”

“Cause you assaulted a CSU tech?”

“I didn’t assault him and how do you know about it, anyways?”

“Well, I called your desk phone and Fin answered. He told me what happened.”

“That fucking Stuckey called the press to the scene then stepped all over it. Thought Sierra was a doll.”

“I’ve heard he’s an idiot.”

“That’s putting it nicely.”

“How’s he doing today?” He asked as he ran his hand over Matteo's dark hair.

“Good. He acted like he was starving.”

“Oh, I’m sure he was,” he laughed.   
___________________________________________  
“Are you sure you want to try this again? The last time you cried cause it hurt and I went as easy as possible.”

“Yes, Rafa. I’m sure. You know I’ll tell you to stop.”

“Please cause I don’t want to hurt you, you know that.”

“Just ease it in.”

“Okay. Just remember to relax, cariño.”

“I am.”

“Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” she whispered as she bit her lip. He slowly stuck the very lubed head of his cock in her ass slowly. “Ow.”

“You want me to stop?”

“No. Just stay right there for a minute.”

“I won’t move until you give me the okay.”

She laid on her back as she tried to get used to him.

“Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, J-j-j-just a little bit though.”

He moved a further inside of her and stopped.

“You still okay?”

“Yeah,” she said with a sort of whine.

“Please don’t let me hurt you.”

“I won’t. Okay, start again.”

He just kept letting her guide him as they tried anal sex for the second time. This time was a lot better. They had tried a few years before it hurt Izzy so bad. It wasn’t that he wasn’t taking his time and being gentle. All she could think was it more on her end and she wasn’t relaxed enough.

“Wow,” he managed to get out once they finished.

“You’re…not…kidding,” she halfway laughed. “We are so doing that again.”

“Right now?”

“No, idiot,” she laughed even harder as she slapped his chest playfully.

“I was about to say, as I hard as I just came it’s gonna be at least an hour or more before I can go again.”

"I meant in the future. Why did it take us so long to try that?"

"You were always too scared and honestly, so was I."

"Well, I'm not anymore."

"Me either. You know, if properly motivated I could..."

"Shush. We need to move Matty back in here anyways.”

“We really need a bigger place, cariño.”

“I know.”

“That one in Murray Hill is still available.”

“Well, call the realtor tomorrow and let’s go take a look at it.”

“Seriously?”

“Sure,” she smiled.


	51. Chapter 51

“So, what do you think, mi amor?”

“I…uh…I like the kitchen and the terrace. The rooftop deck, too.”

“¿Qué ocurre (What’s the matter)?”

“Sé que esto suena estúpido pero ¿somos gente de Manhattan (I know this sounds stupid but are we Manhattan people)?”

“¿Te gustó el condominio mejor (Did you like the condo better)?”

“No. me gusta este lugar y los niños tendrían una especie de patio trasero para jugar (No. I do like this place and the kids would have a sort of backyard to play in).”

“It’s up to you.”  
She walked around the living room a little bit more, looking at the light fixtures and such. “The top floor has to be redone but I'll want to bring in an engineer. I'd require a long escrow, and if the furnace isn't up to code, I'll need it replaced.”

“Certainly, Mrs. Barba,” the realtor smiled.

“And I’m the lawyer,” Rafael chuckled. “So, we’re finally becoming homeowners.”

“No more renting. We’re growing up.”

“Well, we did say we wanted to own our own place by the time we were 35 and we’re just 5 months away. I did get a good raise this year, too.”

“So, we’re moving to Manhattan.”

“I’m finally getting the girl out of Brooklyn,” he laughed as he took her hand and they walked around their new house some more.  
____________________________________________________  
“How’s the moving coming, Shorty?”

“Almost done. We had to buy some new furniture for the extra den and what not. Plus, my husband has 900 law books I swear so it’s hard to pack them away in case he needs to look up something in one of them.”

Izzy overheard Munch on the phone talking about some hooker’s OD-ing on a designer brand of heroin in Washington Heights.

“Wait, did you say Washington Heights?”

“Yeah. They don’t know where this stuff is coming from. Who’s dealing it, nothing.”

“I know somebody down there might know something.”

“You want me to come with?”

“Nah, Fin. I need to do this myself.”

“You sure?”

“I’ll be safe, don’t worry.”

“Does this person know you’re a cop?”

“Yeah. He found out when I could’ve pinched him for dealing pot when I was in Major Crimes. Thought he was involved in another crime, he was clean but he knows I can bust his ass at any point.”

“So, he’s like an unofficial CI?”

“Sort of. I’ll be back.”

“You want me to follow her?” Fin asked Munch after Izzy left.

“I think you underestimate her, Fin.”  
___________________________________________  
She walked into the dark Dominican restaurant, looked to the back booth in the right corner. 

The dark haired man with the beard who could’ve been her husband’s doppelganger, looked up at her. 

“Been a long time, Mami.”

“We need to talk, Trujillo.”

“Is that right? You still don’t get that I don’t work with cerdos, right?”

“You still get that I did you a favor a few years ago and I know you’re still dealing.”

“Oye, leave us alone,” he told his bodyguards who got up and left.

“Sit, espléndido (gorgeous). Drink?”

“On duty.”

“You still married to the Cubano?”

“What do you think?”

“How many kids you got running around?”

“You know I’m not here to talk about family.”

“So, talk.”

“What do you know about this heroin that’s killing hookers.”

“I don’t know. My girls don’t touch that shit. They know better. I’d kill them myself if they walked around with track marks.”

“Such a lovely sentiment. So, you know nothing about any new guys in town?”

“You hungry?”

“Nope.”

“Look, there’s rumors some guy from Columbia moved into town. Not sure where we does business out of. As long as he doesn’t interfere with my business, I’m not too worried about it.”

“That’s all you got for me?”

“What do you got for me?”

“You still have my card don’t you?”

“Nope.”

“Here’s a new one.”

“Special Victims, huh? Moving up, I see. I’ll talk to a few of my girls, see if they know anything.”

“Don’t fuck with me, Ramirez.”

“Would I do that?”

“If you fuck me around on this, I’ll tell everyone you’re a snitch.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Wouldn’t I? Enjoy the rest of your meal. I’ll be in touch.”  
_____________________________________________  
“You find out anything?”

“My informant is gonna ask around.”

“Well, in the meantime, your husband called.”

“Everything okay, Captain?”

“Yeah. He just requests your presence when you get the chance.”

“Uh okay? Did he say which house?”

“This address in the Bronx,” he said as he handed her a piece of paper.

“Oh. Is it okay?”

“Yeah, go do what you need to do. We’ll be fine.”

“Thanks.”

It was Eddie and Lori’s address that Cragen had given her. What could’ve it been that he wouldn’t have called her cell phone.

She finally got to the building and into the elevator.

She knocked on Eddie’s door, expecting Lori to answer the door but instead found her husband.

“Hey, everything okay?”

“Not really. Come on.”

Eddie was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

“What’s going on?”

Eddie just handed her a piece of notebook paper. Lori had explained that she hadn’t been happy since Julian was born and she felt trapped. She apparently had her bags packed the night before, Eddie was coming home from a double at Riker’s so he really didn’t notice any changes and she quietly left in the middle of the night.

“Did she say anything to you, Izzy?”

“No, Eddie. I mean she asked me a few years ago if I ever felt like going away alone just for a few days. I told her all mothers feel overwhelmed at times but she’s never said anything else since. Have you called my brother?”

“Yeah. Mariana had no idea what she was planning.”

“Who does she know in Miami?”

“She has some family down there. What am I going to do? I can’t afford this apartment by myself.”

“Why don’t you and Julian come stay in Manhattan with us until you can figure something out?” Izzy offered.

“We couldn’t.”

“Yeah, you could,” Rafael told him. "We have more than enough room, we’re almost completely moved in. It’s not a problem. School is out and that will give you some time to figure out your next move.”

“You’ve always been my brother, Rafi.”

“Yeah and you’ve been mine. So, what do you say?”

“Thanks, guys. Really.”

“Of course,” Rafael said as he patted Eddie on the back.


	52. Chapter 52

“I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this,” Eddie told Izzy when he came in from work one evening, shortly after Rafael.

“Eddie it’s fine. Jonathan said Julian hasn’t been a problem. He just plays with RJ.”

“I’ll pay him extra while…”

“He said that was unnecessary,” she chuckled. “Raf is in his office if you want to go up there and have a drink before dinner.”

“You don’t need any help?”

“Nah. Jonathan started it for me so I don’t have much to do.”

“Okay, thanks.”

“Mom?”

“What’s up, Rory?”

“Why is Daddy packing your suitcase?”

“What do you mean? I thought he was in his office.”

“No, he’s in your room, packing your pink suitcase.”

“Huh. Um, why don’t you go see what Cami is up to?”

“She’s playing on her iPad.”

“Well, go watch TV or something until dinner is ready.”

Izzy turned the stove down and went to the master bedroom.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Rafael uttered as he practically threw her suitcase in the floor.

“Rafa?”

“Ok. Eddie offered to help Jonathan watch the kids so we could take a long weekend away, just us. The last few months, with you and Matty, and O’Halloran being murdered…we’ve both had it rough and I thought it was a good idea for us to get away for about ohhhhhh 4 days.”

“Oh…so where are you taking me,” she asked as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I got us a cabin…up…state,” he told her between kisses. “There’s a hot tub…a beautiful lake. You…me…clothing…optional…all weekend.”

Her eyes rolled in the back of her head as he started kissing her neck and she pulled him tighter against her. His left hand squeezed her ass, causing her to moan as his lips brushed hers again.

“Rafa?”

“Hmm?”

“Dinner…”

“Ahem. Right,” he sighed as he let her go. “So, who sold me out?”

“Now, I can’t tell you that.”

“Rory.”

“How’d you guess?”

“I saw her walk by and stop and look in here in a little bit ago,” he kind of laughed as he picked his wife’s suitcase up and started refolding the clothes he had packed for her.  
___________________________________________________  
“So, Erin hasn’t been out here yet?”

“No, Tony, she hasn’t,” his sister answered as he stood in her kitchen while she cooked dinner.

“Have you at least heard from her?”

“A few times,” she shrugged. “So, Mariana move all of her stuff out?”

“Yeah,” he replied sadly. “You know, the last year or so, I think we were both going through the motions. We knew we were on borrowed time.”

“And you really don’t want kids?”

“No, sis. I just don’t see that for me. We’ll be 35 in a few months and I think if I was going to have kids, I would’ve before I turned 30.”

“Not always.

“It was just better this way. No sense in me wasting anymore of her time than I already have over the last few years.”

“Do you see it as a waste of time?”

“No. I enjoyed our time together. I loved her, I just can’t give her what she wants.”

“Okay. Fair enough.”

“So, hear you got a long weekend planned.”

“Yes we do. Your brother in law was trying to surprise me. Well, don’t pack my suitcase while I’m in the kitchen, dummy,” she laughed. “Or when there’s kids running around.”

“So, Eddie is gonna keep up with all the kids?”

“Matty’s going to mom and dads. The other kids are older so they’ll be easier.”

“I still can’t believe Erin hasn’t come out here to meet him.”

“She says she’s been swamped.”

“Please,” he scoffed taking a drink of the bourbon he had poured himself. “Has Eddie heard from Lori?”

“She called the other day to talk to Julian. She knows they’re staying here for the time being.”

“Does he have any idea what he’s gonna do?”

“His mom has room for them so he’s talking about moving in with her.”

“Damn. Poor guy.”

“He thinks she’ll be home and they can fix everything.”

“Maybe so. Maybe she just needs a break.”

“Possibly. Go call your nieces and nephews and brother in law for dinner.”  
____________________________________________  
“Raf this place is really beautiful,” Izzy said when they got to the cabin he had rented for them.

“Let’s see what the inside looks like.”

It was just as beautiful inside as it was outside.

It seemed like the ride took forever and Rafael was more than ready for some much needed alone time with his wife.

Before she knew it, he had her pinned against the wall. He softly ran his thumb over her lips while staring intently into her eyes. So much so, it sort of made her nervous. She looked away, shyly but he lifted her chin so she would look at him again. Soon his lips were pressed to hers, her bottom lip taken in between his teeth gently, causing her to whimper softly. He picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist as he carried her to the room.

Everything was done slowly; the undressing, the touching, the kissing. He was in no rush. He laid on top of her as he kissed her. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too.”

“Thank you.”

“What for?”

“My life,” he told her before starting back on her neck. The feel of his lips and tongue on her sensitive spots was enough to send her over the edge but she stopped herself.

He finally lined up and began to enter her. 

“God, Raf…” she moaned.

His thrusts were slow and deep as were his kisses. She held his face as they just watched each other, their names escaping from the other’s mouths along with other moans. Time didn’t matter. They didn’t have to worry about a baby waking up or kids knocking at their door. It was just them.

He made her come over and over again in that hour before finally filling her up with his own release.

“God. That was amazing, Rafa.”

“I still got it, huh?”

“Yes, you do,” she smiled as she brought his face to hers and kissed him.

Two days of love making, breakfast, lunch, and dinner in their robes or pajamas was making everything the beginning of 2009 had brought them go away.

“You want to try the hot tub out today?” Rafael asked after breakfast on the third day.

“You didn’t pack my bathing suit.”

“Do you see anyone around us?”

“I guess we could,” she smiled.

“This weekend has been great.”

“It really has.”

“The last time we went anywhere was 9 years ago when we got married on my spring break,” he chuckled.

“Look at us now, though.”

“Yeah. Great careers, 5 beautiful kids, wonderful friends and family. We’ve been pretty lucky, mi amor.”

“I have to agree. Oh, Ma’s calling. Hang on. Hey, Mama.”

“Hey, I hate to interrupt your trip but I can’t get Matty’s fever to break.”

“Still?”

“I’ve done everything I know to do. I know you guys never get away but I am going to give him some more Motrin.”

“Do we need to come home?”

“What’s wrong?” Rafael asked.

“No, baby. We can handle him. You wanted me to keep you updated so I am.”

“Oh, okay. Call me in a couple of hours.”

“I will. You two having fun?”

“Yeah, Ma,” she laughed.

“Enough said,” Stella replied, echoing her daughters laugh. “Okay. I’ll call you after while. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“Is Matty okay?”

“Ma can’t get his fever to break.”

“Do we need to go home?”

“She said no.”

“Do you want to go home, cariño?”

“No. You planned all this and…”

“Baby we’re only a few hours away. If you want to go home and take him to the doctor, we can.”

“The other kids got little colds like that when they were babies.”

“Okay. Just let me know if you change your mind.”

“I will. Hot tub?”

“I’m right behind you.”

Sure, a little fun in the hot tub was wonderful but truth was, neither of them could really take their minds off of their infant son back home.

“Ma?”

“Izz I told you I would call you…”

“We’re coming home.”

“No.”

“We’ve already backed and Raf is in the main office to get our money back for tomorrow. We’re gonna come home and take him to the doctor.”

“I hate that you haven’t had any time alone since you got married and now…”

“It’s fine, Ma. Just with him being premature…I know it could be nothing.”

“Okay. I’ll have his stuff ready. Just promise me you two will be careful.”

“We will, Mom. Love you.”

“Love you, guys.”  
_________________________________________  
An x-ray was done of Matteo’s chest and a few other tests were ran. Rafael paced the room in the ER they were in while Izzy held their son as they waited on the results.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Matty’s pediatrician, Dr. Lee, said as she came back. “Matteo was born 9 weeks early?”

“Yes.”

“I see this a lot in kids that were born prematurely.”

“What?” Rafael asked.

“RSV.”

“Oh no,” Izzy whispered.

“I’d like to admit him. Start him on an antiviral medication, possibly some epinephrine to help relieve the symptoms.”

“Okay,” Rafael told her. “Whatever it takes.”

“I’ll have them bring an incubator down from pediatrics to take them up there.”

“Thank you.”

“We shouldn’t have left,” Izzy whispered.

“Baby don’t say that. He’d have this even if we had been home. He had a runny nose before we left.”

“But we could’ve brought him…”

“Mi amor, stop,” Rafael told his wife as he crouched in front of her, taking her hand and kissing it. “He’s going to be fine. He’s our little fighter. You know that.”

“You’re right.”


	53. Chapter 53

“How’s he doing?” Fin asked as he brought Izzy a coffee from Starbucks.

“Better, Fin. Thanks for coming.”

“You know I got your back, Shorty. We need to know how our next generation is doing.”

“He’s good.”

“Good. Barba told me and Munch that they’re looking at a few more days?”

“Yeah, he’s responding well to his meds but they just have to be careful.”

“Better safe than sorry. Oh, by the way, Rory is hanging with Munch.”

“What?”

“When we went to his office, she was there and she wanted to go with him and the counselor didn’t say no.”

“Okay,” Izzy sort of laughed.

“Look, Cragen didn’t want me to tell you but we have this case…”

“What’s going on, Fin?”

“You ever heard of that website Tasty Sugar?”

“Uh…yeah? A few years ago, when I was still in Brooklyn. Fin, do I need to come in?”

“Cragen doesn’t want…”

“Hey, baby,” Izzy was already on the phone with Rafael.

“Hey, cariño. What’s up?”

“Can you come stay with Matty? What am I saying…you’re probably…”

“No, I don’t have a case, mi amor. I can be there in about 30 minutes.”

“Okay. Thank you, Rafa.”

“Of course, Corazon. I’ll be right there.”

Rafael showed up about when he said he would and Fin and Izzy left.  
______________________________________________________

“Shepard was alibied all day long. Meetings, dinner, then home,” Izzy told EADA Sonya Paxton. 

“The same home his mistress strolled out of in living color,” Fin added.

“Yeah, so bust his ass on prostitution. Do I have to handhold you people?” 

“No, but here's a news flash. Vice handles prostitution, not Special Victims,” Stabler remarked.

“Don't pass the buck, Stabler,” Sonya remarked.

“Who says their arrangement was prostitution, anyway?” Fin asked.

“Oh, come on. It's the world's oldest profession. I think we've settled on the definition. She got what's in his wallet. He got what's between her legs.” 

“Yeah, unless he got something more. You know, since the '70s, courts have ruled that as long as the woman gets paid for something in addition to sex, shopping advice, companionship, it’s not prostitution,” Izzy added.

“Okay, I get it. So, if it's a back alley hand job for five bucks, she's a hooker. Right? But if it's five G's a month and all the shoes she can buy, then she's some kind of, what, entrepreneur? Detective Barba are you seriously buying into all this?” 

“Times have changed, Sonya, or have you not been on Craigslist lately? There are some women who believe that just…” 

“I can't believe that you're arguing this, Izzy.” 

“Why? Because all women have to have the same opinion on everything?” 

“When it's this obvious, yeah,” Sonya scoffed. “You’re married to an ADA.”

“And that has what to do with my job as a cop?”  
_______________________________________________________

“You sure you’re gonna be okay, Eddie?”

“Of course, Rafi. Who looked out for me besides you? Mi Mami.”

“Okay. You always have a place to land if you need it.”

“Thanks, hermano. Thank you, for everything.”

“Never a problem. You'd do the same for me. Take care of yourselves.”

“I would," Eddie chuckled as they hugged. "And we will.”

"Julian take good care of your Papi for me."

"I will, Uncle Rafi."

Izzy came out from downstairs right after Eddie and Julian headed back to the Bronx.

“I wanted to say good-bye.”

“Oye, you know Eddie.”

“I guess. You think Lori is gonna come back?”

“I don’t know, mi amor. Promise me something,” he said as he took her hands.

“What’s that?”

“Never leave me like that.”

“Rafa. Why would you ever think I’d do that?”

“If it can happen to Eddie…”

“You’re the only man I’ve been with. I don’t want anyone else.”

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely. You are the father of my children, the love of my life. I want no one but you…forever.”

“Good. Now bring this sexy ass to bed.”

“Ooh, yes, sir, counselor,” she giggled.

He grabbed her ass and flipped her onto her back when they got into the bedroom.

“Rafa,” she laughed.

“Come on, baby, All the kids are asleep,” he told her as he started sucking on her neck.

“Okay but you have to hurry.”

“Hurry? When has that ever been in my vocabulary?”

“True,” she whispered after taking her tongue out of his mouth.

Even if it was fast, the sex was amazing that night. Rafael could make his wife come in different ways. They both needed it.

“I love you, so much,” Rafael told Izzy as the peak of moonlight hit through their bedroom blinds. His hands ghosted over her body, even after making her come more than once.

“I love you, too, Rafa.”

“Remember when you first called me that?”

“Yeah. I was sneezing…”

“No, when you actually called me ‘Rafa’.”

“It was right after that.”

“I fell in love with you then.”

“No, you didn’t,” she laughed.

“Yes, I did,” he told her as he squeezed his body to hers. “I just thought you were too pretty to ever be with me.”

“Raf,” she started as she turned toward him. “I liked you from the day I met you.”

“I liked you, too,” he smiled as he cupped her face.

“Raf…”

“I always thought that since Yelina and I grew up together…it would’ve almost been like an arranged marriage.”

“Are you disappointed?”

“Not at all,” he said with a smile before kissing his wife. “You were the only person I was meant to be with, mi amor.”  
_________________________________________________________ 

“How was your meeting with Rory’s teacher?” Liv asked when Izzy came in late one morning.

“Oh, just lovely. Where’s Munch?”

“Out with Fin? Why?”

“Because I’m going to throttle his old ass when he gets here.”

“I have to hear this,” Elliot laughed as he came over to Liv and Izzy.

“So, they’ve been learning about the moon landing in social studies or whatever. She decided to tell her teacher that it was staged.”

“Staged?”

“Yeah, El. She went on to say that Steven Spielberg shot it as a student film.”

“Oh my god,” he laughed. “Munch is dead. What did the counselor say?”

“Munch can babysit but no more history lessons.”

“He’s still going to allow his daughter around Munch? That’s hard to believe.”

“Don’t ask me, Stabler.”

“Who wouldn’t want their daughter around me?” Munch asked when he walked in.

“What did you tell my daughter about the moon landing?”

“The truth,” he answered.

“Ugh, Munch! She told that ‘truth’ to her teacher and entire class.”

“Good. She needs to educate these kids.”

“Oh, good god.”

“Hey, don’t get him started, Shorty,” Fin laughed. “You’ve been here long enough to know how he is.”

“The truth is out there,” Munch whispered to Izzy before going to his desk. She just shook her head as she sat in her chair.


	54. Chapter 54

Arthur he does what he pleases/All of his life his master's toys/And deep in his heart/He's just he's just a boy/Livin' his life one day at a time/He's showing himself a really good time/He's laughin' about the way they want him to be 

When you get caught between the moon and New York City/I know it's crazy but it's true/If you get caught between the moon and New York City/The best that you can do (the best that you can do)/The best that you can do is fall in love

Rafael had taken his wife’s hand in their kitchen when she was trying to clean up from their dinner of pizza, instead of a home cooked meal, as “Arthur’s Theme” by Christopher Cross played through the Bose from her phone and danced with her while he sang.

“I love your voice, Raf.”

“Not as much as I love yours.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Agree to disagree?”

“Works for me,” she smiled before he moved in to kiss her.

“Uh, ew.”

“Cami get over it. I kiss your mother.”

“It’s gross.”

“You’ll change your mind one day,” Izzy told her.

“I doubt it. Mommy it’s almost time for ‘Glee’.”

“I know, baby.”

“Ugh, do we really have to watch that?”

“Yes, Daddy. Quinn is pregnant and it’s Puck’s not Finn’s. Rachel and Kurt are both in love with Finn…”

“Okay, okay. I’m well aware of what’s going on,” he told his oldest daughter.

“We can’t just stop watching now.”

“Fine. I have work to do anyways.”

“Rafa.”

“Daddy.”

“I’m not going to win this, am I?”

“Sorry, love.”

“Alright. I’ll be in there,” he chuckled.

“Can we have popcorn, Mommy?”

“Didn’t you just eat two big slices of pizza?”

“So?”

“Okay. Go on and I’ll make it real quick.”

“Rory! Mommy is making popcorn!!!” Cami yelled as she ran out of the kitchen.

“You know, there’s this stuff that you can put in our microwave and it cooks…”

“Raf you know you like actual popcorn better than the microwave stuff.”

“True. Wonder what songs are going to be butchered tonight.”

“Will you stop? The girls love it.”

“So, does Mommy,” he muttered.

“I think it’s a fun show, yes. So?”

“You didn’t torture me enough with ‘Friends’, ‘Sex and the City’, and ‘That 70s Show’?”

“Ohhhh, Rafael Eduardo Barba, don’t you go there. You laughed all the time during ‘Friends’ and ‘That 70s Show’ for that matter.”

“Psshhh whatever.”

“Oh, just drink your scotch and hush.”

“So, our 35th birthdays are next week.”

“I’m staying 34.”

“Oh no. If I have to grow older, so do you.”

“Nope, sorry,” she smiled.

“Bullshit. I get gray hair, you better.”

“I better not! I have a hairdresser for such a catastrophe,” she joked with a wink.

“Tell me again why I love you.”

“Hmmmm, my ass?”

“That’s part of it,” he agreed with a laugh.

_________________________________________________

“Wow, you just show up again without a phone call?” Izzy said as she answered the door.

“You know I have to keep you on your toes,” Erin laughed. “I finally got some time off. Thought I’d come to New York for a few days.”

“Well, come in.”

“Aunt Erin!!!” Cami practically screamed as she ran downstairs. “You see our new house?”

“Yeah. It’s nice.”

“How long are you here for?”

“Just a few days, Cam-Cam.”

“Aww, man.”

“I have to get back to work in Chicago,” Erin smiled.

“Well, come on. I’ll show you the rest of the house,” Cami said as she pulled Erin by her hand.

“I’ll be back, Izz.”

“Did I just hear our daughter right?” Rafael asked as he came out of his home office.

“Yeah. Erin’s here.”

“It’s almost Thanksgiving and she just shows up?”

“Raf.”

“No, mi amor. You almost died in February, Matty could’ve, too, and she decides to come out here in November?”

“Shhh.”

“I don’t care if she hears me. This is my fucking house.”

“Rafa, please?”

“Fine,” he said as he took a deep breath. “But you know I’m right and she better stay the hell away from Tony.”

“Nice to see you too, Barba,” Erin said from behind him.

“Hey, Erin.”

“Look, I’m not out here to fuck with Tony.”

“You say that…”

“Rafa.”

“I’m going back to my office.”

“Has he always hated me like that?” Erin asked once he was gone.

“He doesn’t hate you, Erin.”

“Sure could’ve fooled me.”

“So, how’s Chicago?

“You mean how’s Dawson.”

“Um, no. We email once in a while so I know how he is. What about you?”

“I’m good.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Kinda got this going with this firefighter.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. His name’s Kelly Severide. It’s nothing serious. Just when we can fit each other in, if you know what I mean. Oh, wait…”

“Erin.”

“I wasn’t going to be a bitch. You have the luxury of not having that off and on, when you can find the time kind of thing. I’d love to know what that was like.”

“I love it.”

“Of course, you do. So, where’s the baby?”

“With Raf’s parents actually.”

“Oh. So, how are you doing…after everything?”

“Uh, I’m actually doing good. No more birth control worries is always a plus.”

“Not having any, you know, hot flashes, or anything?”

“I still have my ovaries so I should be okay for a while, other than Rafael always being like a million degrees,” Izzy joked.

“That’s that Cuban blood.”

“Don’t I know it?”  
__________________________________________

“Okay, we’re going out dancing with your brother and Erin. You really think this is a good idea?” Rafael asked as he buttoned his black shirt.

“They said they just wanted to have fun.”

“We better not have a blubbering mess on our hands when she leaves.”

“He knows she’s leaving tomorrow night.”

“Fine. Could that skirt be any shorter?”

“I might have one,” she teased as she zipped her black knee high boot. “What?”

“I just…I don’t like men staring at you.”

“Baby. We’ve been together for 15 years. I don’t care when guys look at me. Just you.”

“So, do you have a shorter skirt?”

“Shut up,” she laughed as she finished buttoning her black shirt.

“You are all decked out in leather. I feel underdressed,” he told her, referring to the leather skirt and boots she was wearing versus the jeans and black button up he had on.

“Oh, you’ll be undressed later.”

“Thank god,” he moaned against her mouth.

“Let’s just go have some fun. Come on. Nick and Maria are coming, too.”

“Okay, mi amor.”  
______________________________________

They hit up a few clubs before finding one that played a mix of 80s, 90s, 00s. Erin and Tony seemed to get along just fine as friends.

The DJ announced he had a bootleg of a new song from Enrique Iglesias that wasn’t supposed to released until the next year (2010). It was a song with Pitbull, whoever he was, and it was called “I Like It.”

As soon as the beat hit, Rafael had his wife on the dancefloor.

They could both could dance and this was a song that really showed it. 

She was rubbing her ass on his dick his breath was hot against her neck as they kept with the rhythm. His hands traveled between her skirt and boots as they continually grinded against each other. 

“20 bucks say they have sex in the bathroom,” Nick laughed.

“That’s my sister, Amaro.”

“Come on, Rossetti. Look at what he’s doing to her out there.”

“Shut it.”

“Nick stop teasing Tony,” Maria playfully scolded.

“Okay, okay. But come on.”

“He’d never disrespect my sister like that.”

“Tony’s right. Everything has to be perfect for them,” Erin laughed. Her comment kind of rubbed Maria the wrong way, even though Erin meant it as a joke.

“I need you,” Rafael panted against his wife’s neck after the song ended.

“Now?”

“Yeah…now.”

“O-okay.”

He led her to one of the bathrooms and locked the door.

“Raf…”

“Shh. I need inside of you,” he moaned as he lifted her onto the marble countertop, pulling her black thong off with one quick motion.

“You…realize…I’m…a…cop,” she said as he kissed her.

“We can call in a favor,” he told her as he undid his belt and dropped the True Religion jeans he was wearing. He entered his wife’s wet pussy and his eyes rolled back in his head. “God…damn. So fucking wet already.”

“Of…course…Raf…ael.”

He fucked her hard, fast, and good in that bathroom. “Oh, God!!!!” He practically roared as he came after she did.

It took Izzy a few minutes to catch her breath. They had never had sex in a public place, even after 15 years, and she was more than amazed. He grabbed some paper towels to clean what part of his release had ran down her legs.

“Finally,” a guy said as Rafael unlocked the door and they walked out.

“Sorry. My wife was…sick.”

“Shut up,” she laughed as they made their way back to their table.

“Where did you two disappear to?” Nick asked.

“We were dancing, Amaro.”

“What the fuck ever, Barba. Tony you owe me 20 bucks.”

“Fuck no I don’t.”

“What did I tell you?”

“We didn’t shake on it, fucker.”

“He’s got you there,” Maria laughed.


	55. Chapter 55

“Knock, knock.”

“Izzy what brings you to 1PP?” Steven laughed when he saw her in his doorway.

“No case so I’m bored.”

“You’re never bored. Come in, have a seat. What’s on your mind?”

“Not much.”

“You’re lying. You don’t drag yourself down here risk running into the brass with nothing on your mind.”

“I was just going to tell you congratulations on making captain.”

“Stop bullshitting me, Barba,” Steven told her with his eyebrow raised.

“Ugh, fine. Captain Dodds approached me the other day.”

“He wants you back in Homicide and wants you to take the Sergeants exam.”

“Of course, you already know.”

“Already know? Who do you think recommended you?”

“Seriously?”

“He said he needed a Sergeant but didn’t really have anyone that he would consider asking to take the exam. So, I asked what about you? He said you were smart, good police, and he didn’t know why he didn’t think of you himself.”

“I see. I’ve only been on the job almost 12 years.”

“I was on it 7 when I became Sergeant and look where I am now. You could do it.”

“I just…I don’t think I’m ready, honestly.”

“Why not?”

“Like I said…”

“No, there’s another reason.”

“I still like being part of the chase and I like SVU.”

“You’re not going to move up there any time soon, though. This has been the plan from day one, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Look, you don’t have to do it. If you’re happy where you’re at, then stay there. It’s not that hard, Izzy.”

“I guess.”

“You already knew that, though, you just wanted to hear it from me.”

“You are my Rabbi after all.”

“Stay at SVU then. Cragen likes having you around from what I hear.”

“Oh, you mean, Grandpa Don?”

“That’s why he likes having you around,” Harris chuckled. “How are the kids by the way?”

“Good. Matty just celebrated his first birthday, smeared cake all over his dad’s face,” she said as she showed him the video on her iPhone.

“Seems like they were both having fun.”

“It was pretty entertaining. Rafael was stained blue for the remainder of the day but he didn’t care.”

“You know, everyone talks about how he is in the courtroom. Half of the defense attorneys he’s slammed would be shocked to know that he’s actually a family man. Speaking of, how’s he doing?”

“His dad is getting worse.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah, well, he’s never taken good care of himself, even after being diagnosed with diabetes. He stopped drinking too late.”

“I get it. My grandfather was found of the bottle.”

“Mine was, too.”

“Be thankful Rafael knows his limits.”

“Until he starts shooting tequila with Nick,” she snickered.

“Amaro?”

“Yeah. We went out with him and Maria two weeks ago and those idiots…I swear. The next morning, Rafael was making noises I have never heard from him. I was scared he was going to die for a little bit. Maria said Nick was the same way.”

“Serves them right.”  
_____________________________________________________

“Uh, babe?!”

“Yeah,” Izzy called back to her husband.

“Can you come upstairs?!”

She set the broom against the wall and did what he asked.

“Where you at?”

“RJ’s room.”

“Oh…my…god.”

“My thoughts exactly.”

They had gotten the finger paints and painted RJ’s wall with a rainbow, a robot, and whatever else. 

*ERRRHHHGGGG*

“Rafaella? What did you do to the dog?”

“I made him pink, Daddy. I’ve always wanted a pink dog. Now I have one.”

Riggs just covered his face as he laid down.

“How did you two get the paints down?”

“I held her on my shoulders,” RJ told him.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You…I can’t…I’m at…”

“That sharp tongue is actually at a loss for words,” Izzy teased.

“Did you and Tony do stuff like this?”

“We never painted the dog.”

“You two are going to help me and Mommy clean this up.”

“But isn’t it pretty?”

“Bebita it’s very pretty but what have we said about crayons, paints, markers?”

“Paper only,” she answered her father quietly as she looked at her feet.

“Sorry, Daddy,” RJ shrugged.

“And after we clean up this…artwork…you two are going to help bathe the dog.”

*ERRGGHHHHH*

“Sorry, Riggs. You have to have a bath. Thank your kids.”

He looked at the twins and cocked his head to the side as if he understood everything Rafael had told him.

“You guys know he’s old and it’s getting harder for him to get in and out of the tub.”

“Sorry,” the repeated in unison.

“Whoa. Your dad was right. That is creepy.”

“Hush, Rafa. Come on. Let’s get this cleaned up.”  
__________________________________

“What did the vet say?”

“A second surgery won’t do any good. His stomach will just keep getting twisted.” It seemed Rafael was about to cry when he came in with Riggs.

“So, we need to…”

“Yeah, it would be better than to just keep letting him suffer.”

“Okay. We need to tell the kids.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, babe. Not the whole, ‘he’s going to a farm thing’ though.”

“You’re right.”

After explaining to the kids that they’re beloved dog was sick and never going to get better, Rafael called the vet to make the appointment for the next day.

“You want to get in the bed with us tonight?”

Riggs sat his paw on Rafael’s leg. “You know what’s going on, huh? You’ve been…you’ve been a really good boy since I first brought you home. You took care of Mommy while I was away at school, always took care of the kids.”

Izzy sat against the doorframe as she listened to her husband tell their first baby all the good things about him over the years. She had tears in her eyes cause she knew it was killing him just as much as it was the kids. She remembered when he came down the stairs at her parents that Christmas morning in 1998, carrying the big pawed puppy with the blue ribbon around his neck. He had let the kids treat him like a big doll most of the time over the years. He never once seemed to mind.

Riggs sort of groaned as he got up in the bed one last time. His arthritis had gotten the best of him that he would just sleep in the floor most of the time.

Izzy quietly laid in her spot.

“You want me to go with you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Rafael whispered. “This is stupid,” he laughed with tears in his eyes. “He’s a dog.”

“Raf…”

“I know. I just didn’t think I would take it so hard. You and the kids, sure, but me?”

“How many late nights did he spend in your office or at the kitchen table when you were working a case?”

“I know. I’d come home from law school and he’d sit in the living room of our first apartment, well our first one in Brooklyn, and he would just watch while I did homework.”

“Yeah, I don’t know how many times I found the two of you asleep on the couch,” she said with a small laugh. 

“He ate my homework, more than once. A couple of case files, too, over the years.”

“Only when you’d make him mad and kick him out of the room.”

“Well, how many times would we be screwing and he’d lick my foot?” He said as his laughter got harder. “I am gonna miss him.”

“We all will, babe.”


	56. Chapter 56

It had been hard after Riggs was put to sleep for everyone to get used to him not being around. The kids had always been so used to him coming to the door when they’d get home from school. Rafael had been used to being greeted by him most evenings as well.

Their veterinarian had allowed both Izzy and Rafael to stay with Riggs as they started to administer the medicine to send him on. Rafael sat, petting his head as his eyes closed. They both lost it once he was gone. He was more than an animal, after all. Rafael had gotten him so they could “practice” before having actual kids. They decided to have him cremated since they really didn’t have anywhere to bury him. Stella and Anthony had offered their small backyard but they just decided this would be better.

They walked home after the appointment and talked about when Riggs was a puppy and how they’d take him to the park on weekends, among other things.

“You know, we’re gonna eventually have to get another dog.”

“Raf…”

“I’m not trying to be insensitive, mi amor,” he told her as they started packing away Riggs’ blanket, toys, and bed. “It’s just…”

“I know,” she said softly as she looked at the bear she had given him when he was around a year old. Unlike most of the other stuffed animals, that bear was still in good shape. He had always just liked to cuddle with it, it seemed. He’d take it to his bed, the couch, their bed, the kids’ room and hold onto it as he slept. “Now I feel stupid,” she chuckled as she started crying again.

“Baby it’s okay,” he told her as he wiped the tears from her cheek. “We had him for almost 12 years. We were a family, just the three of us for, what, two years?”

“Yeah,” she replied as she sniffled. “You know, I think I’m going to keep this.”

“I think you should,” he smiled as he took the bear from her hand. “I spent a lot of money to win this for you and you gave it to him.”

“He looked so sad when we got home from Coney Island and we didn’t bring him anything.”

“You always fell for his pout.”

“And you didn’t?”

“True.”  
_________________________________

“Can we get another dog?”

“I don’t know, Rory,” Izzy sighed. “It’s only been a month.”

“I know. I just miss Riggs.”

“I know, baby. We all do.”

“Except Matty,” Rory shrugged.

“Well, he won’t even remember Riggs, except for the pictures we have.”

“Could we have a cat?”

“No. Daddy is very allergic to cats.”

“Oh, that’s right.”

“We’ll get another pet sometime, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now if you want to go to the museum with Uncle Munch Saturday, go finish your homework.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Rory chuckled as she walked out of the kitchen, her brown hair bouncing on her shoulders.

“Hola, mi vida,” Rafael said as he came in.

“Hey, you’re home early.”

“Jury came back quick today. 30 minutes, guilty on all counts.”

“Well, let me pour my hard-working, case winning, handsome husband a well-deserved drink.”

“Aww, thank you, sexy.”

“You are most welcome,” she smiled as she handed him a glass of his favorite scotch.

“Dadadadadada,” Matteo babbled as he came in the kitchen.

“There’s my big boy,” Rafael said as he scooped him up. “Daddy won big in court today.”

He just sort of blew a raspberry, making his parents laugh.

“I’m gonna say that’s Matty speak for, ‘good job, Daddy’.”

“I think so,” Izzy agreed. “Why don’t you check on your other kids while I finish the eggplant parmesan you requested this morning.”

“I just made a suggestion, mi amor.”

“Well, go on. It should be ready in about 30 minutes.”

“Thank you,” he smiled with a wink.  
___________________________________

“Are you sure about this, Shorty?”

“Why not, Fin? We put Riggs down three months ago. I said we could get another dog and this poor girl was ‘too nice’,” she told her partner has they walked around PetSmart.

“But you didn’t talk to the counselor.”

“He’ll be fine, Fin.”

“If you say so.”

“Come on, look at this face, Uncle Fin.”

“She is cute,” he told her about the 18 month old black lab she was leading with a leash. “You’re not worried that since she failed out of the field training she might be hard to train otherwise?”

“She’s already potty trained, she just wasn’t meant to sniff for drugs or bombs.”

“If you say so.”

Izzy gathered up a new automatic feeder, a new bed, a few new toys, and other things for the surprise she was bringing home.

It had been three months, Riggs’ ashes sat on the mantle above their fireplace, and they all missed the house not being filled with the running of paws on the hardwood floors and the begging at dinner.

“Hey!” She announced as she walked in.

“Mommy…oh my god!!” Cami squealed when she saw the dog.

“What?” Rory asked as she came to meet her mother. “We got another dog?”

“Yes. She failed out of field training for being too nice and instead of her being put for adoption, I took her.”

“What’s this?” Rafael asked as he came out of the kitchen with RJ and Ella.

“Well, we’ve all been missing Riggs and this little lady just wasn’t meant to sniff for drugs or bombs.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. What do you think?”

He looked at his four oldest kids who were already in love with the dog.

“I think…we need a name for her. Don’t we, kids?”

They all started shouting names.

“Uh, no. It’s gonna be Mercedes,” Cami told them, as if she had all the authority.

“Mercedes?” Rafael asked.

“Yeah. You know, Mercedes Jones? Hell to the no?”

“Okay, first off, don’t ‘hell to the no’ your father at nine years old and secondly, we need a name that everybody can agree on.”

“Oreo,” Ella said.

“Why Oreo?”

“Cause it’s my favorite cookie, Daddy.”

“I like it,” Rory told her parents.

“Yeah, me too,” Izzy added.

“Then it’s settled. Oreo it is,” Rafael agreed. “How much did you spend at PetSmart?”

“You don’t want to know,” his wife laughed.

“That’s what I thought.”

__________________________________________  
“That was an amazing dinner as always,” Miguel told his daughter in law as he brought the plates from the table.

“Thank you, Miguel.”

“Don’t ever tell my wife this, but you’re a better cook than she is,” he chuckled. 

“Your secret’s safe with me,” she laughed. “How are you feeling?”

“Not good, mija.”

“Oh.”

“Look, we both know that I’m not going to be here much longer.”

“Miguel…”

“My kidneys are failing, I’m tired of the dialysis. You know, I’m not scared of being dead, I’m just scared of dying. Listen, I want to talk to you while it’s just us for a minute.”

“Sure,” she told her father in law with a small smile.

“I know I wasn’t always…supportive of you and my son.”

“Water under the bridge.”

“No, now listen to me, niña. You were the best thing that ever happened to him. Don’t get me wrong, his scholarships to Harvard and Harvard Law are right up there but it was you. You were the one that gave him his confidence.”

“Thank you, Miguel.”

“No, thank you. If it hadn’t been for you, he might’ve never reached his potential. Don’t get me wrong, he still has further to go but he’s gotten where he is because of you.”

“No, he didn’t. That was all him.”

“But he did it with you by his side; even though I tried to fuck things up. Part of it was because I was jealous. He was proving me wrong and making something of himself. I hated it. That was wrong. I should’ve been standing right next to him the whole time, smiling and proud. I resented my own son for making his life better.”

Izzy didn’t know what to say as her father in law basically poured his heart out to her.

“I’ve always been so proud of him. College, law school, his career, you, my grandchildren. He’s done well for himself. He’s done well for all of you.”

“Yeah, he has,” she said as her brown eyes filled with tears.

“Promise me something.”

“What’s that?”

“Never stop loving him. Even on the days he doesn’t deserve it.”

“I won’t.”

“Good.”

Little did either of them know that Rafael had been standing outside of the kitchen, hearing their whole conversation.  
___________________________________

“So, you’re saying we should pull the plug?” Rafael asked the doctor after Miguel had fallen into a diabetic coma in May 2011.

“That would probably be best.”

“Rafi he wouldn’t want to…”

“No,” he told Lucia.

“Rafa…”

“I said, no, Elizabeth. Where there’s life, there’s hope.”

“Raf your Papi wouldn’t want to live like this…”

“Your mom’s right.”

“All of a sudden you two know what’s best?” He snapped.

“Rafi…”

“I’ll go to court and get an injunction if I have to, Mami. We are not pulling the plug.”

Lucia looked at Izzy who was just as lost as she was. 

“Okay,” she told her son.

“I don’t want the burden of being the reason he takes his last breath and he left the decision to me.”

“Rafa, why don’t we go…”

“No!” He yelled at his wife. She just took a step back. “I’m sorry, mi amor.”

“It’s okay,” she told him with a half-smile. “You’ll come home later.”

“Yeah, I will.”

Lucia and Izzy left. 

“Why couldn’t you tell me you were proud of me?” Rafael asked his comatose father. “Why couldn’t you come to my law school graduation?”

The machines were breathing for him so of course he couldn’t answer.

“All you had to do was tell me one time that you were proud of me. That's all I ever wanted."  
__________________________________

“How’s your father in law?”

“Still in a coma, Liv.”

“What’s your husband going to do?”

“Well, the medical power of attorney left the decision to Rafael. He just doesn’t want to be the reason his father takes his last breath.”

“That’s got to be tough.”

“Well, he said on the paper that he trusted that Rafael would be able to make the right decision. He just doesn’t know which decision that is. He’s at the hospital every morning and every night after work. Nurses have had to call me to come get him. So where are we on the Annette Fox murder?”

“That homeless guy, Eddie, has Elliot doing an undercover cigarette deal.”

“How’s Jenna doing?”

“Not good. I promised her that we’d find the killer.”

“It’s got to be Eddie.”

“Elliot is just as convinced as you and I am on that.”

Liv and Izzy kept discussing the case when Izzy’s cell phone rang. “Hey, baby.”

“He’s gone.”

“What?”

“He just died.”

“I’ll be right there,” she said as she pushed the button on her 4S. “Liv…”

“What happened?”

“My father in law died.”

“Go. I’ll talk to Munch and Cragen. They’ll understand, you know that.”

“Thanks.”  
______________________________  
Izzy got the younger kids out of their clothes after their grandfather’s funeral. She walked into the bedroom to find Rafael sitting on the edge of the bed. He had his jacket off but his vest still on, his sleeves were rolled up.

“Raf?”

“Yeah,” he sniffled.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine.”

She sat next to him and took his hand.

“That last time they came over for dinner…when you two were talking…I heard everything he said.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. All of it.”

“Baby…”

“Why couldn’t he say those things to me?” He asked as he broke down in tears.

“Maybe he didn’t know…”

“Don’t make excuses for him, please. He had enough time to tell me he was proud of me. Hell, he had   
enough time to try and change.”

She just held her husband while he clung to her and actually sobbed. She ran her hand through his perfectly fixed hair and sort of rocked him. “I’m here, baby. I’m here,” she whispered.

“Why did he have to be such an asshole? The first time I felt any sort of fatherly love was when I was 20 and that was from your dad, not my own.”

“I know, honey.”

“Then he left the decision to me?”

“He just thought…”

“Stop, cariño, please?”

“Okay, you’re right.”

She just let him cry it out. That was the best she could do at that time.  
________________________________________  
“Hey, Izz.”

“Hey, Fin,” Izzy smiled on her first day back.

“Everything okay?”

“As best as it could be, I suppose.”

“Well, check out who we’ve got in custody,” he said pointing to the holding cell that was holding Luke Ronson, Annette Fox’s rapist, Eddie Skinner who killed her, and ATF Special Agent Grier who had supplied Eddie with the gun that killed Annette.

“Damn. You guys actually worked while I was gone?”

“Funny, shorty,” Fin chuckled as he playfully punched her upper arm. “Damn. What do you got in there? Steel?”

“Shut it, Fin.”

Izzy had barely got to her desk when she got a call. “Hey Liv?”

“What’s up?”

“Front desk says Jenna Fox is on her way up.”

“Okay, thanks, Izzy.”

Olivia went to meet the elevator to talk to Jenna. She led her into the squad room and showed her the three men in the holding cell. Olivia told Jenna that if she needed anything, to give her a call. All of a sudden, Jenna branded a hand gun and began shooting.

Everyone ordered her to drop the gun, especially after she shot Sister Peg, who had been a big help to the squad over the years. Izzy and Fin were busy trying to stop the bleeding from Sister Peg while Elliot tried to talk Jenna into dropping the gun.

“You crazy bitch. I should've killed you with your mother,” Eddie said, causing Jenna to raise the gun again. As she was about to shoot Eddie again, Elliot took a shot. 

“I bought it off the street. It was easy,” she told him before dying in Elliot’s arms. Sister Peg was killed along with Eddie, Agent Grier, and Luke Ronson. That was the worst day in most of their careers.


	57. Chapter 57

It had been a few months since the shooting in the squad room. Elliot was on leave and no one had spoken to him.

“I don’t give a fuck he has supposed ‘diplomatic immunity’, DiStasio raped that woman,” Izzy told Cragen about their latest case.

“I understand that but…”

“Captain come on.”

“You just want to say that line from ‘Lethal Weapon 2’,” Fin joked. 

“What do you mean?”

“You know, Izz, Rudd says, ‘Diplomatic Immunity’!!! And Murtaugh says…”

“It’s just been revoked before he shoots him in the head,” she finished.

“Okay, you two. This isn’t a movie and Diplomatic Immunity is real.”

“Sorry, Captain,” Izzy nodded.

“Captain? Captain Cragen?” A blond woman with a southern accent, about the same height as Izzy asked.

“Yes?”

“I’m Amanda Rollins. You interviewed me last month?”

“Well you picked a hell of a first day. I’ll fill you in later.”

“Fill me in now. I’m ready to work.”

“Okay fine. Detective Barba, Detective…”

“Rollins. Yeah, I got it.”

“Get her up to speed.”

“Copy that, Captain. You’re coming from Dallas, right?”

“Atlanta. Georgia.”

“Got it.”  
_______________________________________

“So, what's her story? She must have some hooks to be transferred here from Atlanta,” Liv asked motioning to Rollins as they all went for drinks during the case. 

“She's cool,” Izzy told her. “Talked to Elliot?”

“No.”

“Elliot's probably afraid to talk to you, Liv. Doesn't want you to try to talk him out of it.” 

“Out of what? He's not gonna quit.” 

“He shot a teenage girl. He may not ever wanna put his gun on again,” Fin added.

“Good news,” Alex Cabot said as she walked up, “The DNA came back. It's a match for Distasio and the victim.”. 

Fin was right. Cragen broke the news that Eliot had put in his papers. Izzy found Liv in the bathroom bawling.

All she could do was hug her. She would probably react the same way had it been Fin. Her and Fin weren’t as close as Liv and Eliot but she still would be upset if she lost her partner.

“I mean…he can’t even…he didn’t…”

“Think you should call him?”

“He probably wouldn’t answer,” she said as she cleaned up her face with a wet towel.

“Call Kathy?”

“Maybe it’s just better this way. Come on. We need to go.”  
___________________________________________

“We're hiring another detective?” Liv asked Cragen at the news. 

“Well, we're short-staffed. He's a good guy, out of warrants. You have a problem with that?” 

“Well, it's hard enough showing one rookie the ropes. And now we’ll have two. I mean what is this, a day care center? Izzy, Fin, Munch, and I can handle this department.”

“Not your decision. Elliot’s not coming back. End of story.”

Liv walked out of Cragen’s office, obviously miffed. A little bit later Izzy heard Cragen and a voice as familiar to her as her husbands.

“Folks, this is detective second grade Nick Amaro. He just transferred in.” 

“Second grader already, huh? You must have caught some big fish,” Rollins remarked. 

“Nah, just kissed a lot of ass.” 

“Detective Amaro is being modest. Two years under in Narcotics. Warrants. He took down the MS-13 case.”

“Well, this is a whole different world, Serpico. Not everybody has the stomach for it,” Izzy teased.

“There she is,” Nick smiled as Izzy got up from her desk to hug her longtime friend.

“You said you were transferring but you didn’t tell me here!”

“Oh, come on. That would’ve spoiled the fun for me,” Nick laughed. “How are my nieces and nephews?”

“Same as they were last week when you and Zara came over.”

Liv immediately rolled her eyes. 

“For the time being, we're gonna rotate partners. Fin, Izzy, Nick rides with you today. Get his feet wet. Oh, and, Amaro, clean yourself up. You're not on the street anymore,” Cragen told him.

“Yeah, I kept telling you, you looked like a fucking drug dealer with that beard.” 

“Come on, I got a guy that can shape you up real quick,” Fin said. 

“Don't let him take you clothes shopping,” Cragen called after the three of them as they walked out.  
___________________________________________________

“What are you reading? ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’, seriously, cariño?”

“Erin said it was good.”

“Isn’t that about bondage and domination?”

“So far,” she laughed.

“I see.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” he told her as he went back to his book.

“I know that look.”

“Well, I just don’t understand why…what’s the appeal.”

“It’s just fantasy, babe.”

“Yours?”

“Did I say that? You don’t seriously think I’m reading this cause I want to do this?”

“I don’t suppose,” he shrugged.

“So, have you given anymore thought to McCoy’s offer?”

“Still thinking about it. It would make everything easier if I worked over here.”

“We could definitely see each other more,” she whispered as she started kissing his neck.

“Not tonight, mi amor.”

“Seriously?”

“I’m really tired and I don’t even think I could get it up if I tried.”

“O-kay.”

"I'm sorry, Izz...I've just been stressed over this trial I've got coming up."

"I get it."

Truth was, since his dad's death a few months before, their sex life had started to suffer some.


	58. Chapter 58

“How are you liking SVU?”

“Still getting used to my partner, Barba,” Nick laughed as he took a seat next to him at a bar not far from Izzy and Rafael’s house.

“You’re with Benson?”

“Yeah. What do you know about her?”

“Just what Izzy has told me. I’ve only met her once or twice over the years. The only ones I really know are Fin and Munch. They’re pretty good guys. Fin's always had Izzy's back. How’s Maria adjusting to being home?”

“Well, I'm there now so Fin can take a step back. I've got her. And Maria seems to be doing fine. Zara loves having her back and so do I.”

“That’s good. Hey, I want to ask you something.”

“Sure, Barba.”

“Have you heard of this book, ‘Fifty Shade of Grey’?”

“Yeah. Maria’s been reading it actually,” Nick chuckled.

“So, has my wife.”

“Maria said it’s pretty racy.”

“Well, the other night, when you and Izz and Fin were working that double, I picked it up just to see what the big fuss is. I mean I see women reading this in coffee shops, my assistant was reading it on her lunch break. Hell, I saw one of the female judges carrying it.

“And.”

“Man…the parts I read…”

“That good?”

“I don’t know if good is the word. I’m kind of…worried.”

“What do you mean?”

“The last few months with my dad, the shooting in the squad room, we’ve had it rough to say the least. I haven’t been in the mood lately.”

“What? You’re serious?”

“I am. Usually she’s fighting me off.”

“You’ve hit a dry spell. Maria and I, especially with her being overseas, have.”

“Yeah that’s different, Amaro.”

“So, what are you worried about?”

“What little bit I do give my wife, I don’t think it’s enough anymore and she’s resorted to basically reading porn. I mean, what if she’s wanting me to take on a more dominant role?”

“Do you think you could?”

“I have no idea. I don’t know if I have it in me.”

“I’ve gotta check this book out.”

“This is serious.”

“No, I get it. You guys have always been able to talk about that kind of stuff, so just talk to her.”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“So, speaking of your wife, she said that McCoy’s asked you to transfer to his office?”

“He did.”

“Are you going to?”

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t considering it. He even offered me a raise if I do. Michael Cutter is not one of my favorite people, though. Never has been. David Haden either.”

“Cutter is kind of a jerk,” Nick agreed. “Haden’s just a self-righteous prick.”   
_________________________________________________________

“This is so unfair. Why couldn’t I get the clear braces?” Cami whined.

“Because, Princesa, I was not paying $8000 when the ones you got serve the same purpose and didn’t cost a months salary,” Rafael told her.

“I’m gonna be fun of.”

“You have friends that have braces.”

“Yeah, the clear ones.”

“Camila stop. Your mother and I discussed it. Those braces are more than our monthly mortgage. You can deal with it.”

“Fine,” she huffed. 

“Didn’t Dr. Morris tell you not to talk too much during the first few days?”

“Very funny, Dad.”

“I don’t want to hear any complaints of pain if you’re gonna keep talking.”

“When’s Mom coming home?”

“I have no idea. She and Rollins had to interview some more witnesses in their case.”

“Still?”

“It’s a complicated case, mija. Now, seriously why don’t you go lay down and get some rest. I know you have to be hurting.”

“Okay.”

“How’s she feeling?” Izzy asked when she finally got home that night.

“Hurting but I gave her some Motrin before she went to bed. You guys get anything today?”

“Well, after Liv and Nick busted into that so-called audition and found Fred Sandow on top of that other girl, it’s getting more and more evident that he did. But then Lacey comes in and says he didn’t do anything to her. She’s more worried about getting on his show.”

“Jesus.”

“His son, Eddie, I just…he gives me the creeps. You know when he was 16, his dad bought him his own apartment?”

“Don’t let our kids hear that. Did you eat?”

“Rollins and I got something earlier. I think I’m just gonna get in bed.”

“Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“Nothing. I’ll be in there soon, mi amor.”

“Okay.”  
____________________________________

“Thanks for taking me shopping, Mom.”

“Well, you’ve had a rough week. You still hurting?”

“Not really.”

“Good. I know you’re embarrassed about needing braces but be glad we can afford them.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Take your stuff upstairs.”

“You girls have fun?” Rafael asked as he and Matty came from the living room.

“Uh yeah,” Izzy said as she tried hide some of the many shopping bags she had.

“Uh-huh. How much fun, exactly?”

“E…nough.”

“Bath and Body Works?” He quickly found the receipt and pulled it out of the bag. “$500? Seriously? How many…why is there…are you stocking for the apocalypse?”

“They had a sale.”

“Candles, soap, bodywash, spray, lotion and what the hell is this?”

“You spray it on your pillow before bed and it helps you relax.”

“So, basically it’s expensive Febreze?”

“No.”

“You’re gonna have to start reeling it in some. I know you have expensive tastes. Your dad spoiled you and I’ve spoiled you over the years but last month the AmEx bill was ridiculous.”

“Okay, Mr. My-suits-costs-$2000.”

“We’re not talking about me.”

“Just be glad Bath and Body Works doesn’t have a credit card.”

“Are you being a smartass, seriously?”

“Come on, Rafa.”

“Get smart me with me again and I’m going to take you over my knee,” he whispered in her ear with an almost growl before walking away.

He had been reading her book she figured out when he told her that. Sure, she had been enjoying the book but really hadn’t thought about any of it actually coming to play. Did this mean he did? He had spanked her plenty of times over the years but the way it was described in that book was much more than he had ever done to her in that matter.

They had hit a sort of lull when it came to sex but they did have 5 kids, demanding careers, and their share of drama through the end of 2011.

Maybe this could liven things up. She wasn’t sure about all the toys, the “Red Room” or anything like that but a little light bondage couldn’t hurt. The only other question she had was how was she going to bring it up?


	59. Chapter 59

“Hey, I need to take a trip. Can you cover for me?” Nick asked Izzy in March 2012.

“Uh, I suppose? Everything okay?”

“Yeah. I just need to check on some things.” 

She knew something was weighing on Nick’s mind but she also knew that he wasn’t the type to just open up even though they had been friends for almost 15 years so she didn’t push.

Her suspicions came to fruition when Maria came storming into the squad room one afternoon. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Maria, what are you doing?”

“No! No, I want to know why you drive to Philly…you attack a friend of mine…” 

“A friend?” 

“Nick. Nick, not here. Come on,” Izzy told them as she took led them to the bunkroom.

“That right there is why I stopped marrying Italian women,” Munch remarked.

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t get me wrong, Izzy, Italian women aren’t…”

“Aren’t what?”

“Nevermind.”

They could all still hear Nick and Maria’s arguing.

“What the hell is going on in there,” Amanda asked as she walked up.

“You don’t want to know,” Liv told her.

Maria emerged looking very pissed off. Izzy was Nick’s friend but she had been Maria’s, too, so she got up and followed her.

“Are you okay?”

“Did you know?”

“Know what, Maria?”

“That he thought I was having an affair?”

“He never said anything to me, Maria, I promise.”

“He didn’t say anything to me either. Just followed me and then beat up my therapist.”

“Wow, Maria, I’m…I don’t know what to say.”

“There’s nothing to say. I’ll call you later, Izz.”

“She okay?”

“Not really, Liv.”

“So, has your husband decided if he’s going to transfer?”

“He’s still on the fence. McCoy calls him at least once a week.”

“He must really want him over here.”

“He’s been trying to get him to transfer for the last two years at least.”

“And what, he just likes Brooklyn that much?”

“No, he’s stubborn.”  
_____________________________________  
“What are you doing?” Rafael laughed when he found his wife practically upside down on the couch.

“Your son lost his glasses.”

“Again? That’s the second pair.”

“I’m fixing to staple them to his head. Ah-ha! Found them!”

“Junior!!”

“Yeah, Dad?” RJ asked as he came running.

“What have I told you about keeping up with your glasses?”

“Sorry,” he said as he took the frames from his mom.

“You’re supposed to wear them all the time. Why were they in the couch?”

“I…don’t know?”

“Well, if you don’t know how you keep losing glasses maybe I won’t know how you can’t read your assignments when I won’t buy you another pair,” Rafael shrugged.

“Fine. I won’t lose them again.”

“Please don’t. Now put these on your face and go finish your homework.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Like you wouldn’t buy him another pair if he lost those,” Izzy chuckled.

“He doesn’t have to know that.”  
________________________________  
“Hmmm just like…that,” Izzy moaned as her husband made love to her one morning while all the kids were still asleep. He was slowly driving her to an orgasm when her phone rang.

“Ignore it,” he whispered through his own moans.

“Raf…I…”

“Please.”

“Okay,” she responded as she brought his face to hers to kiss him. “God…yes.”

Her phone started ringing again.

“Goddamn it,” he groaned as he stopped.

“It’s Liv. Hey, Liv,” she said as she caught her breath. “Yeah. No. Give me a little bit and I’ll meet you there.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Cragen.”

“What do you mean? Is he okay?”

“Um, remember that prostitute I was telling you about?”

“Carissa Gibson? Yeah?”

“Cragen just woke up in bed with her.”

“Okay?”

“She’s dead, Rafa. He doesn’t know how she got there, he doesn’t remember anything.”

“Wow.”

“I’m gonna meet Liv at his apartment. I’m sorry about…”

“Another time,” he said with a small smile.  
_________________________________  
“So, he doesn't remember anything that happened last night?” Fin asked as they sat around the squad room. 

“Barely remembers the last few days. He must've been drugged. I mean, things could come back to him in pieces,” Izzy replied.

“I called Captain's Endowment. They're sending over counsel at least,” Amanda let them know. “CSU said there's no sign of forced entry. Maybe Carissa talked her way in. Slipped him a roofie.” 

“Slit her own throat,” Nick scoffed. “Look, she called me a few times last night. She was anxious. She thought she was in someone's crosshairs.” 

“Whose?” Liv asked. 

“She didn't say. But it turns out she had a right to be scared.” 

“Of our captain? Seriously?” 

“I'm not saying that, Izzy.” 

“What are you saying? I’m telling you he was drugged.” 

“We weren't there. None of us knows what happened. You know what happened?” 

“No, I don't know what happened, but I know Cragen didn’t do this” Izzy snapped at Nick.

“Detectives and officers, your attention. Steven Harris. I've been assigned temporary captain of Special Victims.”

“Fuck me,” Izzy mumbled. 

“First things first. I know you're all concerned about Captain Cragen. Here's the reality: SVU can't touch this. What we can do is accept what we can't change and go about our regular business. Fair or not, eyes are going to be on us. So, I'm gonna need to see your memo books, logs of every mile you drive…”

“Captain, no disrespect, but here in SVU, we're used to a certain amount of autonomy,” Izzy told her Rabbi.

“I understand, Detective Barba but things have changed. We're all going to have to adjust.” 

“Yeah, I don't know where you've been…” Liv interrupted.

“Pretty much everywhere. But this is a very different kind of squad. I consider this to be one of the department's elite squads. I don't wanna see it broken up.” 

“Okay. We got you, Captain,” Izzy told him, which kind of shocked him. 

“Good. While we're at it, last I checked NYPD dress code is business attire,” he said as he looked at Izzy and Fin.

They worked hard to prove that Cragen didn’t kill the prostitute he woke up next to that was dead. Nick’s marriage was suffering because of the case, too. Maria had decided to take a job in DC, taking Zara with her.

Cragen was cleared, which meant a lot of people, including Paula Foster, the head of the DA’s Public Integrity Unit was arrested.

“I beat the charges, but the whispers won't stop,” Cragen told Izzy and Fin as they walked down the courthouse indoor steps. 

“Well, you're gonna make it through it. I mean, you know the drill,” Izzy told him. 

“Yeah one day at a time.” 

“Well, just hurry back, Captain. Harris won't stop busting mine and Izzy’s chops about the way we dress.”

“He’s right,” Cragen told Fin and Izzy. Both of them gave each other “what the hell” looks.


	60. Chapter 60

“Rafa? I’m home!”

“Thank god.”

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s Cami.”

“Is she okay?”

“Uh, not really.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…okay. You know with it being the start of summer break, I decided to work from home a few days this week to give Jonathan a break and while I wait on all my furniture to get moved into my new office.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“So, about an hour ago…she came to me, crying.”

“Okay?”

“She told me she was…she was…she started her period! Okay?!”

“Oh.”

“I tried to explain things to her and I think I just made it so much worse. I probably scarred her for life.”

“Where is she?”

“She’s in our tub. She complained she was hurting so I told her to get in there. That’s what always used to do when you’d…you know. I gave her some Advil. I can’t…I can’t….”

“Okay, Rafa. It’s okay.”

“I thought we had another year at least.”

“She’s 11, honey,” Izzy kind of chuckled.

“You’re gonna have to talk to her. Maybe you can repair some of the damage I did.”

“Okay, what I need you to do is go to Duane Reade. Get some pads…”

“Ahhh, no, no, no!!”

“You’ve gotten them for me.”

“That’s different.”

“Please, baby?”

“Ugh, fine. What do I get?”

Izzy made him a short list of things to pick up.

“Oh God. I can’t believe I’m going…”

“It’s gonna be fine, baby. Just…please?”

“Okay,” he told her after taking a deep breath.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”  
_____________________________________  
“Cami?”

“Hey, Mom.”

“How are you doing, baby?”

“Okay,” she shrugged.

“Are you sure?”

“I didn’t know what else to do. I mean, I was watching a movie and I knew something wasn’t right.”

“Come on. Let’s get you out of the tub,” Izzy said as she held up a towel, wrapped it around her daughter and walked her to her room.

“Why does this happen, Mom?”

“What did your dad tell you?”

“Not much,” Cami kind of laughed. “It was a bunch of rambling.”

“That sounds about right.”

“I think I scared him.”

“He’s just…he wasn’t ready for this. It wouldn’t have mattered if this happened later down the road, he’d never be ready for this.”

“Why?”

“Well, you’re his first daughter. Like your Pop-Pop was with me, this stuff is kind of hard. Now that this has happened, you’re able to create life now.”

“Oh god no.”

“I’m not expecting you to, trust me,” Izzy laughed. “But this means you are becoming an actual woman.”

“I’m only 11.”

“I was barely 11 when I got mine.”

“I just…I felt kind of gross.”

“Well, at least you were at home and not at school.”

“Were you at school?”

“No, I was lucky, too.”

“Daddy will still love me, right?”

“Of course, mija. You will always be his baby girl. Even when you’re in your 40s.”

“Thank you, Mom.”

“I sent your dad to the drugstore to pick you up some supplies. I haven’t used any since after Matty was born. I don’t know why I didn’t think to start keeping that stuff around.”

“It’s okay, Mom. You know, we should’ve sent Rory with him to record his ‘shopping trip’. You know he’s gotta be freaking out,” Cami laughed.

“Yeah, he’s always been a little uncomfortable with…feminine stuff. I used to hide my fun sized Snickers in tampon boxes to keep him away from them.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. If I didn’t hide them, he’d eat the whole bag!” Izzy laughed.  
_______________________________________________  
“I’m home,” Rafael announced as he came in the door.

“Where have you been,” Izzy scolded teasingly when he came in almost an hour later.

He set the bags from Duane Reade down and then a blue bag from Tiffany’s down too.

Izzy got in the bag from Tiffany’s and pulled a box with a pair of tiny diamond studs.

“Rafael.”

“What? I didn’t know what the proper protocol was for this!”

“You bought her diamond earrings? So, what, are you going to buy her a car when she loses her virginity?”

“That’s not funny, Elizabeth. I’m just…I just wanted to make her feel better. Look, I got her favorite chocolate candy, too,” he said as he lifted up a huge bag of Hershey’s Kisses.

“You are a pretty amazing dad, you know that?”

“I do what I can,” he shrugged.

“Well, you do pretty great,” she told him as she placed a kiss on his cheek.

“How bad did I scare her?”

“She said you were rambling for the most part so I don’t think you did too much damage.”

“Good. I’ll give her the candy and the earrings. You can give her…this other stuff.”

“You have two other daughters that have to go through this. You know that, right?”

“Hush.”

“Other than that, are you ready for your first day in a Manhattan courtroom?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” he told her with that smirk.

“Maybe I can swing by your new office and take you to lunch.”

“That would be nice,” he said as he kissed her.

“God, finally!” Cami said as she came in the kitchen and grabbed her stuff. “I’ve only been needing these for an hour.”

“Excuse me, Satan. Mood swings start that soon?”

“Apparently so.”

“If she’s anything like you were…”

“I was not that bad.”

“Oh, please. You and Erin had yours at the same time. Tony and I couldn’t do anything right for those 5-7 days. You threw my toothbrush in the toilet when you were on yours once.”

“Ohhh yeah. What did you again?”

“Hell, I don’t even remember,” he laughed. “Said something wrong, looked at you wrong. I don’t know.”

“You ate all my chocolate covered pretzels.”

“That’s right. You went from zero to bitch in like 5 seconds.”

“I got it out for you.”

“And that was very sweet, cariño,” he remarked sarcastically.


	61. Chapter 61

“You’ve read all the ‘Fifty Shades’ books, right, Izz?”

“Yeah, Rollins.”

“Have you heard of this other one?”

“That rip-off, ’25 Acts’? Yeah.”

“I’m guessing you haven’t read it.”

“Nope. My husband actually had a case in Brooklyn, about two months ago or so. Guy strangled a girl so hard, her eyes had petechial hemorrhaging. Dick tells the jury they met in a bar, she's into S&M. It was a complete lie. The jury deadlocked. Later he found out that half of them read that book.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah. He was pretty pissed.”

“How’s he liking it over here so far?”

“Pretty well it seems.”

“Maybe I’ll finally get to meet him,” Rollins laughed.  
___________________________________________  
Even though Cragen had been cleared legally, he still had to be cleared fit for duty by 1PP, leaving Steven in charge. He decided to do some changing around. Fin and Rollins had been partners as well as Nick and Liv, Munch and Izzy. He ended up putting Rollins and Benson together, Fin and Munch back together and Nick with Izzy. 

“Punching out, boss,” Izzy said as she came into the office. “You an Adam Cain fan?”

“Just white noise while I do paperwork. How did my new line-up go over today?”

“Like a lead balloon.”

“You all will get used to it.”

“You know I have no problems working with Nick.”

“What’s up with him and Benson?”

“He says he doesn’t feel like she trusts him.”

“You obviously do.”

“Never given me a reason not to.”

“You still happy you stayed here?”

“Yeah, I am, Harris.”

“Well, have a good night, Detective.”  
_______________________________________________  
Jocelyn Paley had written the book “25 Acts” which was very heavy into dom/sub sex acts, just like the “Fifty Shades” books. Jocelyn was a guest on Adam Cain’s show “Raising Cain” and afterwards, she claimed she was raped by Cain. Then she didn’t want to press charges. That was until he raped her in elevator at in her honor.

“So, Jocelyn ready to press charges?” Harris asked. 

“We're ready to go to the DA,” Benson told him. 

“Well, which one? They've all lawyered up since Delia Wilson named names,” Munch added. 

“How about Detective Barba’s husband, Rafael?”

“He's the same guy that put away the two Johns for raping a prostitute,” Liv said. 

“Yeah, that was a tough case. He fell asleep in his home office several nights during that one,” Izzy told them. 

“One thing about him, the guy's got big brass—ego,” Harris said after noticing a look from Liv as if to dare him to say “balls”.  
________________________________________________  
“This girl, she appears credible?” Rafael asked as Benson and Rollins followed him into his office. 

“She's concerned about perception, but she was raped twice,” Liv answered. 

“I didn't ask if she was raped. I asked if she appears credible.” 

“Okay, I know you have to ask that…” Amanda started before being interrupted.

“Reason being we had a case about two months ago, Red Hook. Guy strangled a girl so hard, her eyes had petechial hemorrhaging…”

“Your wife told me the story,” Rollins told him, cutting him off.

“Did she? Well, then you see where I’m going with this, Detective.”

“I get it, counselor.”

“I need to talk to the victim.”

“She’s had a rough few days.”

“You want me to move forward, it’s not gonna get any easier.”

“Did he act like when you met him before?” Rollins asked as she and Liv made their way down the steps of 1 Hogan Place.

“I never really conversated with him. Izzy introduced us, he came by the precinct once or twice after that. Nothing more than ‘hi’ or ‘bye’ really.”

“He’s just…”

“Oh, I get it.”

Finding out that Jocelyn didn’t write the book, but one of her former professor’s Kathleen Dobson had, and that she lied to the grand jury really pissed Rafael off. When she said she wouldn’t testify and she wanted to drop the charges, he basically told her that was fine because he’d indict her for perjury in so many words.

Rollins came back to the precinct after she and Liv had met with Jocelyn in Rafael’s office when they found all this out.

“You okay?” She asked Rollins after she slammed her desk drawer.

“You know…no. Just…forget it.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Look, no offense, Izz but your husband…he’s kind of a prick. I mean, threatening to indict Jocelyn…”

“Well, she did lie to the grand jury and the world, basically. He wasn’t going to let that go.”

“Of course, he already called you.”

“No, Liv did actually,” she laughed. “Come on. I’ll buy you a drink to make up for my arrogant husband.”  
__________________________________  
“Mr. Cain what excites you about having sex with Jocelyn?” Rafael asked Adam Cain while he was on he stand. 

“What excites anyone about sex?” 

“Was it the belt?” 

“The belt that was her idea, even though she was pretending. She wanted to try role play.” 

“How do you start something like that?” 

“With the belt?” 

“Yeah, I mean, do you take your belt off or…” 

“That's right.” 

“And you give her a few hits with it?” 

“She seemed to enjoy it.” 

“Then you put the belt around her neck.” 

“Yes.” 

“And then you get behind her tighten it.” 

“Yes, to increase her pleasure. I'm not sure what this has to…”

“Just bear with me. Where was the buckle?” 

“I don't know if I can be more specific. Would you like me to show you?” 

“Well, actually…” 

“Objection! Your Honor…” defense attorney and their former Harvard classmate Rita Calhoun started. 

“As a regular Joe, I am curious about how this belt-around- the-neck thing is exciting. I am sure, Your Honor, that the jury is curious as well.”

“What’s he doing?” Nick whispered to Izzy as they watched Rafael put his own belt around his neck.

“I’m afraid to find out.” 

“I'll allow it. For now,” the judge said.

“So let's go back. You took off your belt.” Izzy was watching intently as her husband continued. “You said that she wanted it rough, so show me how she likes it. Show me, show me. Let me see how she liked it.”

“Objection!” 

“Let's proceed cautiously, Mr. Barba.” 

“All right, take the belt in your hands, Mr. Cain. Feel the leather? Hold the belt. Now, show me how you pulled on the belt. You can do better than that. You call that being dominant? Show me. Show me! Show me, pull it! Pull it. Pull it! Tell me how you like it! Show me how you like it, Mr. Cain! -Come on, pull it, pull it!” 

“Like this!” Adam Cain responded as he pulled the belt as tight as he could. It seemed Rafael was more than surprised at Cain’s reaction as the belt tightened around his neck. Izzy wanted to punch both Adam Cain and her husband when she witnessed that. 

“All right, that is enough, Mr. Barba!” 

“Not a mark. Not a mark,” he said once he caught his breath. “Not a mark. People's exhibit 20. Jocelyn Paley's neck after their consensual sex game. Is this what excites you about sex, Mr. Cain? Hurting your victims?” 

“She liked it like that.” 

“You mean Jocelyn? You liked it like that. She didn't.”  
______________________________________  
“Three days and the jury’s still out,” Liv told Harris.

“Longer than the trial, huh?” 

“SVU, it's the only unit where the victim's word isn't good enough. You have to prove that a crime was committed.” 

“That's true. They don't ask robbery victims if they wanted it.” 

“Going somewhere?” 

“Good news. Your captain's coming back.” 

“Well, you must be relieved. I hope your next assignment is easier than this one.”

“They never are. However, any assignment that doesn’t include Detective Barba, is easier,” he joked

“You two go way back, don’t you?”

“I met her when she was in the academy…I don’t know…I saw something in her. If you ever tell her I said this, I’ll deny it, but she is one hell of a detective.”

“I won’t say a word. You probably had something to do with that.”

“She’ll be Sergeant one day. You could do it, you know? Ever thought about moving up the ranks?”

“Uh, it’s come up. Not sure I’m ready for the desk.”

“Well, I have friends at 1PP, if you ever need a Rabbi.”

“Thanks. I got Cragen and plus I think you’d have your hands full with Izzy.”  
_______________________________________  
Izzy kept her feelings about the trial to herself, until after Adam Cain was found guilty.

“Did you lose your fucking mind?” She asked her husband as they laid in bed the day of the verdict.

“What do you mean?”

“With that belt around your neck?”

“I proved my point, didn’t I?”

“That’s beside the point.”

“Mi amor…”

“He could’ve hurt you, Rafael.”

“But he didn’t. I didn’t have a mark on me.”

“Still.”

“Have you really been mad at me about that?”

“No, I wasn’t mad. Just, I wanted to knock the hell out of him for choking you and wanted to knock the hell out of you for letting him.”

“Come on. Tell me I did a good job.”

“No.”

“Come on. You know you want to,” he told her as bit his bottom lip.

“No, I don’t. I’m going to sleep.”

“Oh, no you’re not. You know what winning does to me,” he smiled as rolled over on top of her.

“I said…no.”

He just stared into her eyes before kissing her. It started off slow but quickly picked up as his hand gripped her hip, surely leaving a mark.

“Still going to say no?”

“Close the door,” she told him.

Just as he got up, Matt came down the hall. “Daddy I can’t sleep,” he whined as he rubbed his eyes.

“Uhhhh, what’s wrong?”

“I’m scared. I can sleep with you and Mommy?”

“Mijo…”

“Please?”

“Izz?”

“Yeah, okay, come on,” she told their youngest.

“You, me, shower tomorrow,” Rafael mouthed to her as he got in bed, too. 

She just kind of laughed before tucking Matty in between them.


	62. Chapter 62

“Liv, when's the last time you heard from Jessie Sturgis?” Izzy asked after she hung up her desk phone from a very snarky phone call from her ADA husband. “Remember, Jessie the Single mom who was raped in the meatpacking district?” 

“Yeah, that was Labor Day Weekend. That still hasn't gone to trial yet, right?” 

“The DA's office hated that case. She was drunk, and her story was a mess,” Nick added.

“But she was raped.” 

“I'm not arguing that, Liv. She knew her assailant, I remember. She was afraid that her boyfriend would find out.” 

“Okay, her boyfriend, Tommy, last night, Jessie was arrested for killing him. Barba wants to see us now.”

“Four months ago, Jessie Sturgis was raped by a Michael Provo. Provo's side, it was consensual sex, and she lied 'cause she was afraid of her boyfriend,” Liv started to explain after they met Suffolk County DA, Pam James coming out of Rafael’s office.

“Tommy Bandolce. The guy that Jessie's accused of murdering last night?” 

“Right. That's why Ms. James wants to see your case. She wants background on Jessie,” his wife answered. 

“She's also worried Provo was falsely accused.” 

“Did she tell you that Michael Provo is a CI for their office, helped make her the DA? She's just looking to protect her own,” Nick told him. 

“Didn't come up. Either way, she wants us to open our kimono.” 

“Excuse me?” Fin said, looking kind of confused. 

“She wants to see all of our case work, all the DA's files. So, she can build a case against Jessie. I assume you told her no.” 

“Detective, there's a protocol among DAs. I can't just say no. You know better than that,” Rafael told his wife. “I told her I was new to the office when the case broke, and I needed to get up to speed, so get me up to speed.”

She just sort of rolled her eyes at her husband’s sort of demanding tone. They had worked together in the past but there was something different about him. She understood he couldn’t be all over her, there was a “work Rafael” and a “home Rafael” after all.

She sat the files on the table in the middle of his office. “Did you just roll your eyes at me,” he whispered very low into her ear. It completely caught her off guard.

“If I did?”

“You’ll see,” he told her.

His assistant had ordered lunch while they discussed the case and the new charges being brought against Jessie Sturgis in Suffolk County before Barba sent them on with instructions to re-interview both Sturgis and her accused rapist.

“Detective Barba a minute?”

“I’ll catch up, Nick.”

“Shut and lock my door,” he told his wife after everyone walked out. She turned to do so and soon felt his breath on her neck.

“Rolling your eyes at me in front of your colleagues?”

“I…uh…” her voice trembled.

“Get over here,” he said as he pulled her over to the leather couch in his office. Set down and unbuttoned her pants, pulling them and her pink panties down just enough to expose her ass. He practically pulled her across his lap. He had mentioned this months ago but she never expected him to follow through, especially during working hours. “Do you know why I’m doing this?” He asked as he rubbed the side of her ass with his huge hand.

“Because I rolled my eyes at you.”

“And is that polite?”

“No.”

“No, who?”

She wasn’t exactly sure how to answer. When things got really hot with them, she’d call him Papi. In the books, Ana referred to Christian as “sir”.

“No, counselor.”

He liked that. He had expected her to call him “Papi” as well.

Three hard slaps on her ass and she was hot, both her ass and just her in general.

“Get your pants back up,” he commanded as pulled her off his lap.

Her head was kind of spinning at watch just happened as he fixed his tie and vest.

“Don’t you have work to do, Detective?”

“Uh, yeah.”

He walked her to his door and became softer when he unlocked it. He cupped her face as he kissed her. “I’ll see you at home. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she replied before she left.  
_________________________________________  
“Daddy promised to help me with my science project.”

“Rory I’m sorry. He’s busy with this case. Cami did the same thing two years ago. Why can’t she help you?”

“I wanted Dad to do it.”

“I’ll call him. Maybe it won’t be too much longer. He’s just been preparing this case and we’ve been basically racing the clock with the entire thing…you know you’re only 10. I don’t need to be telling you more than you already know. Come on, pick up.”

“Hey,” her husband answered his Blackberry.

“Hey, I thought you’d be home by now.”

“I’m really trying. After arraigning Provo and all this shit you guys keep bringing me, pointing more and more that he actually did frame Jessie…”

“I know. You promised Rory to help her with her science project.”

“I completely forgot, mi amor. Tell her I’m very sorry. I will be home as soon as I can. I promise. I have to go. Ms. James just walked into my office,” he told his wife, dripping with snark. 

“Ms. James, what brings you to town?” 

“I was heading to the governor's fundraiser when I heard that your SVU minions arrested Mr. Provo in Islip.” 

“Yeah, my wife said traffic was terrible coming back,” he said with a cocky smiled. 

“I'm more than a little surprised I didn't get a heads-up from your office.” 

“You weren't exactly forthcoming when you came to ask about Jessie Sturgis.” 

“And you're paying me back by trying to blow a hole in my murder case.” 

“This isn't about payback, and it doesn't stop with Michael Provo framing Jessie for murder.” 

“Michael Provo did not frame Jessie.” 

“You can't admit that. Right. If Provo framed Jessie, he could've framed anyone, which means you'd have to reopen every case he was ever involved with. Your whole office could be vulnerable here. This guy's got you jumping through hoops, Pam. Dropping rape charges, DUIs…”

“You attack the integrity of my office, you're in for the fight of your life.”

“I never mind a little blood on the canvas. You got an event to get to? Enjoy. I got a wife and 5 kids waiting for me at home and case to prepare.”  
_______________________________________  
“So, we’re gonna have two trials going at once?”

“Basically,” he told his wife while he washed the plaster off his hands from Rory’s volcano.

“Provo is behind all of this.”

“I need more proof.”

“Hey, we, uh…we haven’t talked about what happened in your office the other day.”

“Did you not like it? I won’t do it again.”

“No…I did.”

“Really?” He asked as he took off his tie and pushed his suspenders off his shoulders.

“Yeah,” she smiled as she bit her bottom lip. “What made you…”

“I know things have been more…mechanical at best lately. I sort of read those books you like on my Kindle.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, especially after you read them a second time.”

“You know I reread books all the time.”

“Not that quick,” he smiled with a raised eyebrow. “You we’re going to be working together a lot more, meaning, as much as we fight it, work’s gonna come home with us at times. I just don’t want it causing problems and with our sex life…if you want me to try to be more dominate in that way, I will.”

“Baby I read those books cause they were fun to read. I’m not wanting to turn the guest room into some kind of pleasure chamber but…I wouldn’t mind you using your ties once in awhile.”

“You mean, like this,” he asked as he wrapped the pink silk around her wrists and tied it in a knot. “Does that feel okay?”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

“You put your arms above your head like this,” he told her as put them above her head. “Hold them there.”

“Okay.”

He lifted the chiffon top she was wearing and started kissing down her body. She couldn’t help but go for his hair only for him to grab her arms. “What did I tell you?”

“Sorry,” she giggled.

“Hold them there or I’ll stop.”

“Okay.”

He went back to what he was doing. He made his way all the down, using his teeth to take off the thin shorts and then the panties she was wearing. Just feeling of his face moving around legs like that was driving her crazy. She trying hard to concentrate on keeping her arms still over her head.

Once he had her bottom bare, he began kissing up her legs.

“God, Raf…” she moaned. He made his way to her already dripping center and started slowly. He laid his arm across her stomach to keep her still while he went down on his wife, causing two body shaking orgasms.

He didn’t say a word as he got up from the bed and finished getting undressed as she caught her breath.

“Don’t move your arms,” he whispered before he entered her slowly. He held them still for her as he started picking up his pace, making her get louder. The only kid that had a room anywhere close to theirs was Matteo and he had long been asleep but he still instructed her to be as quiet as she could. He would kiss her if she got too loud but that never seemed to help much.

Once he came, he kissed down her face as he untied her arms.

“That was…amazing.”

“I…agree,” he told her with what little breath he had.

“Rafa?”

“Si?”

“I don’t want you to ever think that I don’t enjoy our sex life. I mean, that was fun and I wouldn’t mind it once in awhile but I’ve never had any complaints.”

“Except the first time,” he laughed.

“I didn’t complain. You did.”

“I was embarrassed! I wanted it to be perfect but I guess…I got too excited.”

“It was fine. It wasn’t supposed to be perfect.”

“What’s so funny?”

“Just thinking about that first time.”

“And you’re laughing. Terrific,” he scoffed.

“No, I mean from then until just right now, how much we’ve changed.”

“Next time maybe I should use your handcuffs on you.”

“Now there’s an idea. Come on, you need some sleep. You have court tomorrow and I have to testify in Jessie’s trial.”

“I love you.”

“Love you, too, Raf.”


	63. Chapter 63

“Okay, so let me get this straight. The kids were out on the playground. Our son told you he needed to use the potty, and decided not to wait?” Rafael asked Matty’s preschool teacher.

“Yes, Mr. Barba,” she responded, seemingly trying not to laugh. “I mean, he at least got away from the rest of the kids but…I mean I told him a tree was only acceptable for a dog. You guys have a dog, right?”

“And that is dog is a female,” Izzy responded.

“I have two sons of my own and I know they can be very stubborn…”

“Stubborn? No, Matteo is so far from stubborn. He’s been almost downright defiant. Our oldest son was actually very easy.”

“I’m just saying, Mr. Barba, that apparently he needs some more help and a little talk?”

“Well, how about the next time he says he needs to go, you listen?”

“Of course, sir. It’s just as much my fault as it is his.”

“For now, I believe we will take him home for the rest of the day.”

“Sure. I’ll get his things for you.”

“You know, when we had our boys, I imagined getting called to school for a fight, a smart mouth, but definitely not this,” Rafael told his wife while they waited.

“Who taught him to pee outside?”

“Not me!”

“RJ maybe?”

“I doubt it,” he shook his head.

“Well, he somehow knew it was an option.”

“Mommy, Daddy!”

“Hey, big boy. What do you say we go home for the rest of the day?”

“Can we get ice cream?”

“Hmm, not today. It’s a little too cold out.”

“Okay.”

Once they got home, Rafael sat his almost 4-year-old son down to have a little talk.

“So, Uncle Nick taught you…”

“When I stayed the night over there and we were outside in the back yard. I had to go…”

“I see. Okay, well Daddy’s gonna have to talk to Uncle Nick about that. Toilet only from now on. ¿Entiendes?”

“Sí, Papi.”

“Okay. I’m glad you are getting better. It’s been 7 days since an accident so you know what that means.”

“I get a new toy.”

“That’s right. We’ll go later.”  
_________________________________  
“I don’t care. You’re only 12 and you’re not watching ‘Ted’.”

“Dad come on. All my friends have seen it.”

“Good for them. You’re my daughter, they’re not.”

“You let me watch ‘Glee’.”

“I’m sorry, I guess I missed the episode where Brittany was having trouble with Lord Tubbington smoking pot, drinking, and having sex.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Don’t care. You’re not renting it off of Amazon and that’s final.”

“You and Mom used to watch so much worse.”

“How do you know?”

“I’ve heard Mom and Uncle Tony talking about watching Richard Pryor and I’ve done my research on him. He was nasty.”

“That was a different time and they didn’t understand those jokes until they got older.”

“I’m almost a teenager…”

“Almost meaning, not quite. That in itself doesn’t make you an adult.”

“You are so unfair. I bet you won’t treat Rory this way or Ella even. You really won’t the boys.”

“You don’t know how I’m going to answer them when they request to watch a highly inappropriate movie.”

“You won’t even let me take the subway by myself.”

“Do I have to remind you what your mother does for a living? What I do for a living? We just had a case not that long ago where a 14-year-old was held against her will after being taken from a frat party…”

“I know, Dad but I know how to be safe.”

“How can you? You’re always in your phone. I’ve seen the way you walk down the sidewalk. You have to be aware of your surroundings, not on social media.”

“Ugh, the older I get, the stricter you get.”

“I can get a lot more so, if you’d like.”

“I can’t stay at my friends houses half the time without you or Mom running a background check on their parents!”

“So? I like to know what kind of people my daughter’s going to be around.”

“Whatever.”

“You know what? Just go to your room.”

“But…”

“Room! Now!”

“Fine!”  
__________________________________  
“Nicky how could you teach my son to pee outside?”

“What did I miss?” Fin laughed.

“Look, we were outside playing catch and he said he needed to go. There was no sense in taking him all the way back in the house. That’s how I learned.”

“Between you and Munch, my kids are gonna be so warped.”

“What did I do now?”

“You told Rory J. Edgar Hoover had a gay hit squad,” Izzy answered.

“Come, Izz, we all know that’s true.”

“Hush, Fin.”

“Why are you so scared of the truth?” Munch laughed.

“Ugh, I have not had enough coffee for you clowns this morning. I have one daughter that is becoming a conspiracy nut, one that is 12 going on 22, a son that just decides when he’s gotta go, he’s gotta go no matter where he is. The only two that aren’t giving me and their father trouble of any kind are the twins.”  
__________________________________  
“Detective Cassidy, you spent three years undercover as muscle for a pimp named Bart Ganzel. Isn't that right?” Rafael asked as he prepped Brian Cassidy for the upcoming trial against the pimp he had “worked” for.

“Yeah. My severance was two bullets in the chest.” 

“Cassidy, can we practice answering the questions in the order I ask them?” 

“Okay. Sure, Counselor.” 

“All right. In the course of your employment with Mr. Ganzel, did you meet a prostitute named Carissa Gibson?” 

“We really need to rehash all that? Huh? Hey, Ganzel confessed to murder on tape.” 

“Yeah, well, his new attorney is contesting the tape's admissibility.” 

“Yeah? And how's that my problem?” 

“Look, I wish you weren't my witness. You wish you weren't my witness. But here we are, so let's get through this.” 

“Ask away, Counselor.”  
_____________________________________  
A girl named Heather Riggs came in the squad, which Munch, Nick, and Izzy were the only ones still there and made a report that she had been raped by Cassidy when he was undercover.

Izzy headed home while Munch & Amaro would go talk to Cassidy. They were more than surprised when Liv came around the corner in Brian’s apartment, thinking it was the take out they had ordered.

Nick was a little aggravated that Liv didn’t trust him enough to tell him about her involvement with Cassidy.

“You know, if anyone should be upset, it should be you, Izz.”

“Why, Nick?”

“Well, I mean as long as you two have been friends…”

“Nick I know you’ve only been here like a year and a half, but Liv’s…just a private person.”

“Heather's boyfriend visited Ganzel? When was this?” Munch asked. 

“Two days before she came here,” Izzy answered. 

“All right, so scum knows scum.” 

“Ganzel paid him to get his girlfriend to accuse Cassidy,” she replied. 

“See? Paranoia. Anyone can play. I'll tell Barba the connection,” Munch snickered. 

“I have to talk to Barba anyway.” 

“Liv, you want backup?” Izzy offered.

“Sure.”  
_____________________________________  
“And one of his former prostitutes, now reformed, swears that she saw Heather go into the bedroom with Cassidy for two hours. Plus, Heather has described in great detail a scar on Cassidy's inner thigh. I'm getting a warrant for a physical examination,” Rafael told them. 

“Well, save yourself the trouble. Uh, his left inner thigh, um Cassidy was knifed by a drunk when he was a rookie. That's the other thing that I wanted to talk to you about.” 

“Ah. Current relationship or past?” 

“Both. With a 13-year gap.” 

“So, you're not entirely objective.” 

“That's not true,” Liv scoffed. 

“Detective Barba. You talked to the complainant. Was she credible?” He always referred to her by title when they were at work. 

“Yeah, she was, actually,” Izzy reluctantly told her husband.

“Izz, Cassidy would never rape anyone.”

“But it's possible he knew she was being forcibly compelled. And we know that he has slept with prostitutes on the job before.”

“Yes, I remember, Barba, thank you.” 

“A DA from Westchester is coming in to run the trial.” 

“The trial? You can’t be serious, Barba.” 

“We're on a fast track. We can't appear to be protecting our own. IAB detectives are arresting Cassidy right now, for rape,” he told them.

“Liv I’m sorry,” Izzy told her as they left Rafael’s office.

“It’s fine, Izzy.”

“He asked my opinion…”

“I know. I didn’t expect you to lie.”

Amaro was called in as a witness for the defense. He ended up being sandbagged when Cassidy’s lawyer found a woman he had been involved with during his UC days.   
Izzy immediately recognized her when she walked in. 

“Who’s that?” Rafael whispered.

“Cynthia Macheno. She was the sister of that dealer Nick was trying to get in with on that last UC operation I did in Narcotics.” 

She was visibly upset when she found out that Carlos from Cartagena was actually NYPD Detective Nicholas Amaro.

“I know this is rough, Nick.”

“What if I had known? I probably wouldn’t have gotten back together with Maria, there’d be no Zara.”

“Speaking of Maria, you’ve got to get in front of this.”

“Yeah, I know, Izz.”

“Whatever help you need, you know, legally…”

“Yeah, he already told me.”  
___________________________________  
“Captain, I thought you were on vacation,” Fin chuckled when Cragen came in with Ella and RJ.

“I was bringing these two back to their mom. I still have another week.”

“Thank you for taking them today, Captain.”

“I volunteered, didn’t I?”

“You did.”

“We had a good time, didn’t we kids?”

“Yes, we did Grandpa Don,” Ella smiled.

“We went to the movies, then had pizza, and then a little ice cream,” Cragen smiled with a wink.

“A little ice cream, huh?”

“I had two scoops,” RJ added almost proudly.

“That was supposed to be our secret, RJ.”

“Oops.”

“It’s fine that I dropped them here?”

“Totally. Barba is in a meeting with Cutter. I think they’ll be fine here for the next hour or so.”

“Just keep them away from Munch if you don’t want him giving them any ideas like he has Rory.”

“Don’t remind me. Thanks again for taking them out.”

“As soon as baseball season starts up, RJ and I are going to the Mets first home game.”

“Excuse me, Junior?”

“Sorry, Mom. I like the Mets now.”

“Maybe I should keep you away from Grandpa Don.”


	64. Chapter 64

“Lindsay won't press charges. Renee is locked up in LaGuardia Psychiatric.”

“All right, counselor, we get it,” Nick said regarding their latest case. 

“So, the rape factory just keeps churning out victims,” Izzy mentioned. 

“Rape factory?” Rafael asked.

“That's the frat's nickname on campus,” Liv added. 

“Okay, that helps. Two victims does not a factory make. Find the others.”

“That's easy for you to say,” Cragen remarked. 

“Oh, what's the matter? NYPD run out of trojan horses?” Rafael said as he picked up his Alligator skin briefcase as he left.

“How do you sleep with him on a regular basis,” Rollins asked Izzy, obviously frustrated with Barba’s attitude toward their case.

“Hush,” Izzy said as she turned pink.

“I’m serious. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I get that you’re married and you’re in love but Jesus. Why does he always act like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like we don’t know how to do our jobs.”

“We’ve dealt with worse ADA’s, I assure you,” Liv told Amanda before Izzy could speak up.

“Very true. Okay you guys get back to TSU,” Cragen instructed. “Liv, Izz, go back to LaGuardia and see if you can get anything from Renee.”

“Copy that.”

“Just ignore Rollins, Izz,” Liv told her as they drove to the hospital. “She’s been under a lot of stress after all that shit with her sister.”

“Yeah, I know. So, how are things with Cassidy?”

“Pretty good,” Liv said with a huge smile. “I mean we’re not picking out China patterns just yet but it’s a nice fit.”

“Good for you.”

“I mean he’s not my first and only like you and Barba,” Liv teasingly chuckled.

“Ah, come on, Liv.”

“No, I think that’s sweet. Good example for your kids.”

“Hopefully but with an already boy crazy 12-year-old…ugh.”

“Oh no. No wonder Barba stays in a bad mood.”

“She’s gonna kill him, I swear.”  
_____________________________________

“Why can’t I go to the dance?”

“Camila Luciana can you just get ready for school?”

“But Mom, Dad is being…”

“Unfair, strict, treating you like a baby, I know, I know. He’s just looking out for you.”

“It’s a junior high dance. I know you went to one when you were my age.”

“And? That was in 1987. Things were different then.”

“Mom, I’m going to turn 13 in June. You can’t keep letting him keep me on a leash.”

“Can you stop being so dramatic just for once, Cami?”

“But…”

“Look, I’ll talk to him.”

“I’m not going with a boy. It’s me, Zoey, Kellie, and Chanel.”

“Like I said I’ll talk to him. Now please finish getting ready for school.”

Izzy continued to fix breakfast for the kids while her husband finished getting ready for work. He came in the kitchen for his second cup of coffee, his light blue shirt still half way unbuttoned, his tie not tied and his black suspenders hanging off of him.

“Rafa you need to eat.”

“I don’t have a lot of time, mi amor.”

“Yes, you do. Here,” she said as she handed him his plate.

“You’re just trying to make me fatter,” he smiled.

“I like your belly. Nothing wrong with a little winter weight, Papa Bear. Now go.”

“I’m going.”

She felt her phone buzzing and saw a message from Amanda.

“Raf?”

“Yeah?”

“I gotta go,” she told him as she quickly changed and rushed to meet Amanda at TSU, leaving her breakfast untouched.  
_________________  
“What happened?”

“It’s Lindsay. She jumped from the roof,” Amanda told Izzy as they watched their rape victim being zipped up in a body bag. She was standing on the edge. Some students saw her, tried to talk her down, but by the time security got there. They were too late. I have to go call her mother. I just talked to her yesterday.”

“This isn't your fault, Amanda. You did everything you could. Come on.” 

“No, no, she was pink clouding, and I knew it.”  
________________________  
“I thought I’d invite everyone over dinner Sunday night,” Izzy told Rafael as they laid in bed after their TSU case.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Is that okay?”

“Uh, sure, I guess.”

“This case was hard and I just thought we could always use a wind down of sorts. If you don’t want me to…”

“No, it’ll be fine, mi amor.”

“And I’d like everyone to kinda get to know you out of work.”

“I do know…you want everyone to like me.”

“I didn’t say that. It’s just…you’ve been working with us for a few months and you’re always so…’lawyer Rafael’. There’s more to you than that.”

“I didn’t get in this to career to be liked.”

“I know that. I just…”

“If it’s important to you then it’s fine.”

“Thank you,” she said as she leaned over and kissed him on his cheek.  
_____________________________

Izzy had spent that Sunday after church mainly in the kitchen. She was cooking up so many different Italian dishes so there would be plenty of food and choices for everyone.

“Baby are you sure you don’t need any help?”

“I’ve got it, Rafa. Thank you.”

“No, you don’t,” he chuckled as he wiped sweat off his wife’s forehead. “What can I do?”

“Tell your daughters to get in here and help me.”

“Done, cariño,” he told her with a kiss.

“Seriously, Mom?”

“Yes, Cami. I need your help.”

“Why did you want to do this knowing you had so much to do?”

“Stop giving Mom hell and just help her,” Rory said as she was already chopping some garlic.

“Aurora watch your mouth but she’s right, Cami.”

“Fine. What do I need to do?”

“Chop that tomato for the salad.”

“Okay,” she huffed.  
_______________________________  
Everyone arrived just after 6. Izzy had finally been able to use the huge dining room table she had begged Rafael for when they first moved into their house. Olivia and Brian arrived first, followed by Nick and Zara. Cragen brought a woman he had recently began dating, Eileen, while Munch and Fin proclaimed they were each other’s dates.

“Everything looks so good,” Liv marveled at the food on the table.

“Thank you. Everyone make a plate and get settled. I’ll get another bottle of wine.”

“Mi amor you’re running yourself ragged playing hostess,” Rafael told her as he caught her in the kitchen.

“I’m fine, baby.”

“You need to relax. You know everyone is going to love your food and I promised to keep my sarcasm to a minimum.”

“I know.”

“Let me take that,” he said as he grabbed the wine from her. “Go sit down and make your plate. I can handle the refills.”

“Thank you.”

“So, I kind of know the story of how you two met but I don’t really know,” Rollins said over dinner.

“Well, I had moved into a dorm at Harvard, the next day, my roommate showed up,” Rafael started. “After he had unpacked, we decided to go on a trek of sorts to get familiar with the campus and we ran into my roommate’s twin sister and her roommate in the dining hall.”

“Was it love at first sight?”

“There, uh, was a mutual attraction but I had a girlfriend back here. We became friends first really.”

“Then he asked me out for Valentine’s Day in 1994 and that was…it,” Izzy kind of shrugged as she took a drink of her red wine.

“Yeah, your brother is Tony Rossetti, an ADA over in the Bronx,” Cassidy mentioned.

“One in the same. If he gives you any shit, let me know.”

“I will,” Cassidy laughed. “He’s really not so bad.”

“Live with him,” Rafael joked. “I did for 7 years.”

“Seriously?” Liv laughed.

“Yeah. They lived together all through college and law school.”

“We lived together that last year of college, mi amor.”

“Yes, we did.”

“You, Barba, and your brother lived together…”

“My brother’s college girlfriend, who happened to be my roommate, lived with us, too, Rollins. The four of us shared an apartment.”

“What was that like?” Fin laughed.

“Interesting,” Rafael laughed. 

“Well, I think it’s sweet,” Eileen told them. “You two were obviously meant to be together. Have you two thought about having any more kids?”

Of course, she didn’t know, so Izzy wasn’t upset when she asked that. 

“Uh, Eileen…” Cragen started as he shook his head.

“It’s fine, Captain. When Matteo was born I had to have an emergency c-section due to a placental abruption then an emergency hysterectomy.”

“I am so sorry, Izzy. I…I…I didn’t know.”

“It’s fine, Eileen,” she replied with a small smile. “We always talked about having 5 or 6 kids. So, we got at least one of those numbers.”

“Yes, we are very blessed,” Rafael said as he took his wife’s hand. 

“Dad!!!” They heard Cami yell from the kitchen.

“Well, somedays. Excuse me,” he laughed as he got up from the table.  
______________________________  
“You okay?” Rafael asked as Izzy finished cleaning the kitchen.

“Of course. I think tonight went really well.”

“It did. You sure you’re okay?”

“Why are asking?”

“I know Eileen didn’t know but are you…”

“I’m fine,” she said as tears started to fill her eyes.

Rafael sat the wine glasses down and took her hands. “What’s wrong? Tell me?”

“Are you still okay that we can’t have any more kids?”

“Of course. I did what I had to to save you. I will never regret that. I told you, we can always adopt.”

“As long as you’re okay…”

“I think we have our hands full,” he laughed as he kissed her hands.

“I suppose you’re right.”

“Like you said, we said 5 or 6 and we got 5. We’re good.”

“You’re right. So, what have you decided about that dance?”

“Ugh, I knew you were going to ask me that.”

“It’s just a little junior high dance…”

“You’re right. It’s not like it’s formal or anything. I guess she can go.”

“Thank you, love.”

“I already talked to Nick about having some ‘extra eyes’ anyways.”

“Rafa,” Izzy laughed as she put her arms around his neck.

“Can you blame me?”

“Not at all. Now, kiss me.”

“Ooh, yes, ma’am, Detective.”


	65. Chapter 65

“So how are things going with Gil?” Izzy asked Nick as they were going over reports from their latest case.

“Good. Being able to tell him the truth about who I was has made it a lot easier.”

“And Zara?”

“She likes that she has a big brother. They get along pretty good, too.”

“That’s good.”

“Are you seriously going a Mets game with Cragen and Munch Sunday?”

“Cragen has good seats and it’s the subway series. I’m going to watch the Yankees.”

“Leaving Barba home with the kids?”

“No, the kids are going to my parents. He’s been invited aboard the Mayor’s yacht with McCoy. I’m allergic to all that political shit.”

“What are you going to do if he ever runs for DA himself?”

“Take Benadryl?” She laughed. “What are you going to do this weekend?”

“Cynthia and I are going to take the kids to the park, I think.”

“Really?”

“Not like that, Izz. We’re just trying to co-parent right now.”

“Got it.”  
_______________________________

“You sure you don’t want to go with me?”

“Raf I already promised Cragen and Munch.”

“Okay. Dinner afterwards?”

“Sure,” she smiled.

“That means don’t stuff yourself with hot dogs and nachos and beer.”

“I don’t do that.”

“Elizabeth.”

“Fine. I’ll limit myself. I better get moving.”

“Okay. Have fun.”

“You, too. I’ll see you this evening. Love you,” she said as she kissed him.

“Love you, too.”

She met Cragen in front of CitiField.

“Yo!” 

“Fin, what are you doing here? Where's Munch?” 

“Good to see you too, Captain. He sent me in to pinch hit for him. He says our tickets are right behind first base.” 

“Wait, we got stood up by Munch?” Izzy laughed.

“What, is he feeling okay?” 

“Oh, no, he's good. His date went a little over last night.” 

“It's noon. Never mind, come on, you two. I don't want to miss batting practice.”  
__________________________  
6 innings into a perfect game, leaving Izzy pissed, Rollins called them.

“Wow, she called you all in? Rollins is out of control,” Fin asked as they met Nick and Liv walking up.

“Well, she's your partner,” Nick remarked. 

“Oh, it's fine. Only six innings into a perfect game.” 

“Uh, eight,” Liv corrected Cragen. 

“Even better.” 

“You called us all in on a Sunday for a lewdness mis-D?” Izzy asked Rollins when they got into the squad room.

She started explaining how she couldn’t get prints off of William Lewis.

“Captain, I've got a feeling about this guy.” 

“I get that. Benson, Barba, you go talk to him. I want fresh eyes. You had a run-in with him, Rollins, so you and Fin talk to the girls. And since you've made her comfortable in my office, Amaro and I will talk to the photographer.”  
______________________________  
“Now, you said that you went running, yeah?” Izzy asked him.

“Yeah, sound body, sound mind.”

“You always go running in jeans and work boots?” Liv added. 

“I'm between jobs right now. I don't have a lot of money to spend on running gear. I don't think I deserve this kind of attitude, Detective.”

Izzy was getting more creeped out with each second they talked to William Lewis. She understood why Rollins had a feeling about him.

“This guy's a piece of work,” Liv said as they walked out of the interrogation room after he invoked. 

“Good call, Amanda.”

“Thanks, Izz.” 

“Where's the fire, Rollins?” Barba asked as he walked up. 

“Where were you, on your yacht?” Liv chuckled. 

“Not my yacht. What are we looking at?” 

“William Lewis, unemployed drifter. We have three witnesses who saw him expose himself in Central Park.”

“Really? And you called me in here for a class "B" misdemeanor because you wanted to use up all your favors in one fell swoop?”

“Just listen to her, Rafa, please?” Izzy said, cutting her husband off before he got too snarky.  
_______________________________

The photographer, Alice Parker, was raped and brutalized by William Lewis after he was released on the lewdness charge. He was arrested and choked himself with the daisy chain as he was getting ready to be transported.

“This son-of-a-bitch…” Rafael muttered as he pushed the food on his plate around.

“Raf let’s try to eat dinner without thinking about the case right now.”

“You’re right,” he smiled as he looked up. 

He didn’t hardly touch his dinner as he got up and went to his home office. He was going to do everything he could to put William Lewis away.

“Raf?”

“Yeah,” he replied without looking up from his file.

“Liv just called.”

“And?”

“Alice Parker is dead.”

“What?”

“Heart attack they think.”

“Fuck. There goes my case.”

“Not necessarily.”

“She was my lead witness, she was never able to make a lineup ID.”

“She made the outcry to Liv.”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now!”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry, mi amor.”

“You’re stressed. I get it. Why don’t you have a drink and relax?”

“Thank you, baby. This guy…he has beat the system every…fucking…time. How is this possible.”

“I don’t know,” she told her husband while handing him a glass of whiskey.

“Whiskey. How did you know?”

“How long have we been together?”

“There has got to be a way…”

“Try not to stay up too late, handsome.”  
__________________________________  
“Don't tell me the DNA is inadmissible,” Izzy said as they stood around the squad room. 

“Worse than that. The judge, in her infinite wisdom, declared a mistrial,” her husband answered. 

“You've got to be kidding me,” Liv scoffed. 

“And it gets worse. He's out on bail”.

“Bail? He doesn't have a pot to piss in,” Cragen added. 

“Vanessa, his legal aid attorney, posted his bond. This guy is beyond lucky.”

“You’ll be able to retry him, won’t you?”

“I don’t see how, Amaro. No DNA, no victim,” Barba replied as he grabbed his briefcase off his wife’s desk. “I gotta stop by my office and then I’ll see you at home, mi amor.”

“Okay,” she half-smiled as he kissed her cheek.

“Tell you what, who wants to come with me and just shoot the son of a bitch.”

“I’m with Amanda. I haven’t had an orgasm because of Lewis in weeks.”

“Rollins, Barba,” Cragen said as he shook his head.

“Don't worry, Captain. I'll take them out to get something to drink. The counselor will have to take care of that other part. Anybody else, while my wallet is open?”

Nick had plans with Gil and Cynthia, while Cragen told Benson to go home for at least two days.  
______________________________________

“So, no one’s heard from her for the past two days?”

“Nick and I tried to call her, Brian can’t get a hold of her,” Izzy told Cragen. “I mean her phones off and she never turns it off.”

“All of you, go to her apartment now.”

They walked in and found the place a mess. Her hair and blood were everywhere.

“It’s Lewis. He got her,” Nick deduced. “He must’ve taken her down the fire escape. Look, the window’s open and her bed spread’s gone.”

“Bag everything,” Cragen told them. “I gotta call 1PP. Izzy, Rollins, come with me.”

The three of them went to find Lewis’ legal-aid attorney, Vanessa Bayer.

“Your Honor, if we could.” 

“Order.” 

“This is an urgent police matter. We need to question Counselor Mayer.” 

“We're in the middle of an arraignment, Detective Barba.” 

“I understand that.” 

“Captain Donald Cragen, SVU. Your Honor, Counselor Mayer may have information about a suspect who's holding an N.Y.P.D. detective hostage.”

They waited as the Judge allowed them to take Vanessa in the hall.

“Lewis was right. You do have a vendetta against him.”

“Vanessa you need to shut up and listen,” Izzy told her.

It took them four days but they finally found her in an abandoned house in Long Island. She had beaten William Lewis within an inch of his life; rightfully so they all thought after the path of destruction he left in his wake.  
________________________________________

“Rafa?”

“I thought you were sleeping, mi amor,” he smiled when she found him in his office.

“I was but…you weren’t there.”

“You know, I keep thinking about that sick bastard and…what if he had come after you instead?”

“I don’t know, Raf.”

“I mean I know it was hard on Cassidy but, and no offense at all, but you have a family.”

“It’s over now. You’re going to put him away for the rest of his life.”

“I know…I just can’t help it.”

“Why don’t you come to bed and just cuddle with me?”

“I’ll be right there, cariño,” he said as he took his glasses off and laid them on his desk. 

He wasn’t “right there” like he said he would be but Izzy didn’t mind. He worked his ass off with all of his cases and she was used to falling asleep alone. He finally got in bed and wrapped his arms around his wife tightly. She rolled over and laid on his chest. He held her as tight as he could, secretly wishing she would’ve went to law school all those years ago instead of the police academy. Sure, she had faced danger but never a psychopath like Lewis.


	66. Chapter 66

“How long are Cami and Rory gonna sit Shiva for Cory Monteith?”

“Rafa!”

“What? He did it to himself.”

“I know but do you know what’s like to have someone die that you liked?”

“My grandfather.”

“Look, when Freddie Mercury died, my parents let me sit in my room all day and night, listening to Queen.”

“That was different, cariño.”

“Come on. They got to meet Cory when I took them to that ‘Glee in Concert’ thing. This is hard. He wasn’t their idol but come on. If one of the members of One Direction died…”

“Okay, I get it. We’re not Jewish, though,” he chuckled. 

“Oh, stop.”

“We have 6 teenaged and 3 almost teenaged girls in our house.”

“It’s going to be fine, Rafa. I’ve ordered pizzas for them.”

“What about the other three?”

“You’ve got two 8-year-olds running around and a 4-year old. Don’t really have to worry about much.”

“If you say so.”

“Just let the girls watch and/or listen to ‘Glee’ tonight.”

“Fine.”

“Come here.”

“What is it, mi amor?”

“I just want you to know how much I love you and how wonderful I think you are.”

“Well, thank you,” he smiled as they kissed. The kiss got deeper and harder, so much so that Izzy did the whole romantic comedy thing and rose her left leg.

“Uh, EW!!!! Can you two not keep your hands off each other for five minutes?”

“Camila…”

“I mean come on,” she groaned. “No wonder you have 5 kids.”

“I have had about enough of this attitude. Bring me your phone.”

“Daddy.”

“Ahora!”

“¡No! ¡Estoy cansado de esto! ¡Tráigame su teléfono en este instante (No! I'm tired of this! Bring me your phone this instant)!”

“Papi es Verano (Daddy it’s summer)!”

“¡No me importa! ¡ Dije ahora (I don't care! I said now)!”

“Mom.”

“You heard your father.”

She went to her room and got her phone, handing it do her father.

“You can have this back…maybe in two weeks.”

“Two weeks maybe.”

“So…”

“Unfair, I know,” Rafael scoffed.  
___________________________________  
A stop and frisk occurred at the end of summer as the squad were trying to find a rapist that put three women in the hospital.

As they were conducting it, a gun shot was heard in the distance. Izzy and Liv headed off in the direction of the shot while waiting on Nick, Rollins, and Fin to catch up with them.

They came upon celebrity chef, Jolene Castille who had shot a guy she said was trying to rape her. The guy was actually 16-year-old Mechad Carter. He was immediately rushed into surgery. 

Jolene maintained that she was sure Mechad was going to rape her. All forensics that Warner got, even though the EMT service had mangled Mechad’s clothing, showed that he was at least 5 feet away from Jolene when she shot him. Izzy hated to watch his parents when Mechad was pronounced dead. Mechad was a good kid. He liked to watch the Food Network and could’ve been a fan of Jolene’s just wanting an autograph.  
The squad ended up finding the actual rapist they had been looking for, especially once the women he had attacked could remember the smell of cooking oils on him.

“Mehcad Carter was a 16-year-old honor student enjoying his summer. Singing in the church choir, watching cooking shows on tv, playing basketball with his friends. And then he forgot his metrocard and was embarrassed to tell his parents. So, he chose to walk home. That's what Mehcad was doing on the night he was killed. He was heading home to his parents. But he never made it. Because Jolene Castille didn't like the way he walked, she didn't like the way he dressed, she didn't like the way he looked. The defendant claims that Mehcad was stalking her, that he was going to rape her. But how can we believe her when she has lied about every other detail on this case? About his having a gun, about what he said to her. She even claimed that Mehcad lunged at her, but you heard the M.E. testify that Mehcad had to have been at least five feet away from her when she murdered him. In a system where it is all of our rights to be presumed innocent until proven guilty, Jolene presumed Mehcad guilty and became his judge, his jury, and his executioner. She got to go home to her brownstone that night. Mehcad will never go home again,” Rafael ended his closing argument with tears in his eyes.

Izzy found her husband in his home office after the jury found Jolene not guilty.

“Hey baby.”

“Hey,” he said as stared at his empty scotch glass,

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Babe…”

“Fear won out.”

“You had a good case.”

“You sound like Jack.”

“Is that what he told you?”

“Yeah. I did my best. I really did.”

“You don’t have to tell me or the squad.”

“I know but…fuck. Mechad deserved justice.”

“I know, baby.”

“Can you just leave me alone for a little bit?”

“Of course,” she told him as she places a small kiss on his forehead.  
_________________________________________

“If you want to vote for him, that’s your opinion love,” Izzy told her husband over breakfast when they read that Alex Munoz was running for mayor.

“Come on, babe. He’s always been nice to you.”

“And?”

“I got it, babe. We still have a few weeks to decide. You know he almost single handedly saved my old neighborhood.”

“I know, babe but…”

“Listen, I’ve been over it for 19 years, mi amor.”

“Okay.”

“You know you are the only one for me.”

“You know, Cami is going to stay at Zoey’s Friday night. Rory is going to my parents, RJ and Ella are going to Nick’s…”

“Think we can get a babysitter for Matty, too?”

“What’s his Abuelita doing?”

“I think she’d love to watch her grandson.”

“Good,” he smiled.  
___________________________________  
The first night they didn’t have any kids they were looking very forward to.

“You still okay with this?” Rafael asked as he tied his rainbow checkered tie around his wife’s wrists.”

“Yes,” she smiled.

“Good. I’m gonna take it a step further.”

“What do you mean?”

He took his suspenders off, threading them through the tie and latching them to the metal headboard.

“Raf?”

“Shhh. Trust me.”

“O-okay.”

She was completely naked while he was still halfway dressed. He started at her lips, working his way down her neck to her tits. He gently sucked on her nipples, one of her most sensitive spots which caused her to moan loudly. She tried to move her hands but they were tied to the bed.

“Rafa?”

“Hmm?” He asked as looked up from the spot on he had been sucking around her bellybutton.

“I…I need you. I need to…feel you.”

“You will, mi amor,” he growled as he started back. She had kept up with the Brazilian waxes over the years so Rafael wouldn’t have to “search” when it came to oral sex.

His tongue made contact with her clit, causing her hips to buck. Of course, she could see him but having her hands tied up, made it that much harder for her but not too hard for her to come.

“Yes, Rafa…” she moaned as his tongue went at her, followed by two fingers. He had them inside of her, curling against her g-spot as he was making her clit harder, getting her closer and closer with his tongue.

“Oh, god…”

He didn’t stop until she was there, twice at least.

“Bend over,” he commanded.

“How can…”

He didn’t wait for her to finish as he flipped her onto her knees. Her hands were wrapped with the tie which was held by his suspenders. She grabbed the rails of their headboard as her husband plowed into her.

“Damn. So hot, so tight,” he moaned as thrusted in and out of her, harder and faster. A few smacks landing on her ass during the whole thing, spurring her on.

“Yes, Papi,” she moaned. “Harder.”

“Fucking that pussy or smacking that ass?”

“Both.”

He did just that. His hand came down on her ass a lot harder than usual as he started fucking his wife harder and faster.

“You’re…so…big,” she moaned as grabbed her blond hair and bit her neck. “Oh god!!”

“You want Papi to keep fucking you?”

“Por favor, Papi.”

“No complaints then.”

“Yes, Papi.”  
____________________________

“Damn where did that mark come from?”

“What are you talking about, Rollins?”

“No wonder you two have been together so long.”

“Shut up,” Izzy said as she pushed Amanda’s hand away from her neck before answering her desk phone. “SVU, Detective Barba.”

“Hey.”

“Hey, babe.”

“SVU pick up anyone today?”

“I’ve only been here long enough for Rollins’ to give me hell about the big hickey you left on my neck.”

“So sorry. Listen, there’s a problem.”

“What is it, Rafa?”

“Eddie got picked up.”

“Eddie? Eddie Garcia?”

“Yeah. Look, I’m coming down there. Don’t say anything, please.”

“I won’t, baby. I promise.”

“You know you can’t question him.”

“I know.”

“Okay, I’ll be there soon. Love you.”

“Love you.”

“Everything okay, Izz?”

“Huh? Yeah, it’s fine Amanda.”


	67. Chapter 67

“So. Alex Munoz, the mayoral candidate, called you on this?”

“He is an old friend. We grew up together,” Rafael told Liv over coffee. 

“Oh, with Eddie? 

“Mm-hmm. Los tres muscateros de Jerome Avenue. The three musketeers of Jerome Avenue. Alex had the heart. I had the mouth, of course. Eddie had the muscle to protect us when we got into trouble.” 

“So, you've stayed in touch after all these years?”

“Mm, less and less. They stayed in the Bronx. Alex went to Fordham, started working as a community organizer. You know, he almost single-handedly saved the neighborhood. And meanwhile, Eddie bounced around. He got a job at Rikers.” 

“Well, I got to say, I'm impressed that Alex Munoz has the time to watch out for a childhood friend.”

“Well Eddie's been volunteering for him. He's been driving him around during the campaign.” 

“So, is Alex watching out for Eddie, or watching out for Alex?” 

“Both, I guess. Eddie's no genius, but he's a good man. He stayed with us for a while when his wife flaked off three years ago. He's been taking care of his mother and raising his boy on his own.” 

“And it doesn't excuse an attempted rape.”

“No one is saying that it should, Liv. But, I mean, what if that's not what it was? And there's benefit of the doubt. I'd like to make sure Eddie gets it. Ask my wife about Eddie. She can tell you he’s a good man.”  
___________________________________  
“Lindsay told you Eddie came into the store with his wife? No chance. He hasn't seen her in three years. She's partying in Miami.”   
“Are you sure? 'Cause he still wears his ring.” 

“I'm sure. Eddie's eh, he's just catolico, loyal. So, Lindsay saw the ring, tried to make up a story.” 

“Yeah, then she says that she'd be more comfortable just talking to Amaro. Because she thinks she has a better chance of working the male partner? So, she's lied to you, tried to manipulate you.” 

“So, did Eddie,” Liv answered him. 

“I know Eddie's story. What's hers?”  
_______________________________  
“You got something on Lindsay?” Liv asked the squad as they had been digging into the girl that had made the attempted rape accusation against Eddie. 

“So far, four men have filed orders of protection against her for harassment and extortion. Plus, two more O.O.P.S. One from her ex-mother-in-law, and the other's from an ex-shrink who kept getting texts demanding that he come back and "murder her vagina," whatever that means,” Izzy answered.

“Means she's a freak,” Fin chuckled. 

“Okay, so she lied to us. She's changed her story. She's gone back and forth about pressing charges. Maybe Barba's right Eddie deserves the benefit of the doubt.” 

“Unless we're asking the wrong questions,” Nick started. 

“Here he goes. I thought Munch retired,” Izzy chuckled. 

“Her other marks were worth the risk. The head of a foundation, a wealthy shoe designer, sports tv exec. Eddie works at Rikers.” 

“So, maybe she's hitting bottom,” Amanda suggested.

“Or maybe…maybe Eddie's not who she was shaking down,” Nick said as he posted Alex’s picture on the board.

“Son of a bitch.”

“Are you buying into this, Izz?”

“It makes sense, Fin. Nick said it himself, she’s a heat seeking missile. Eddie don’t have the heat. Alex is a State Senator and now he’s this close to becoming mayor of New York. I mean I’m open to another suggestion but Eddie wouldn’t have two grand just laying around.”

“Well, if he was screwing around with her, there’s gotta be others. Keep digging and see what you come up with,” Liv told them.  
__________________________________  
“Your squad really thinks Lindsay was shaking down Alex and not Eddie?” Rafael asked over dinner before they headed home.

“It makes perfect sense actually.”

“I just don’t see him stepping out on Yelina. That would be like…me screwing around on you. Just not possible.”

“Maybe not for you but over the years…Alex has been…flirty with me.”

“He’s just a nice guy.”

“So nice he stole your girlfriend 20 years ago?”

“I told you I’m over that. Have been for 20 years.”

“Are you?”

“I’m getting the check.”  
______________________________________  
The next few days as the squad kept trying to find evidence linking Lindsay to Alex, Rafael and Izzy had a lot of tension between them.

“All right, where's the fire?” He asked as he came in the conference room. 

“There's something that we need you to see. Since Lindsay found her other chumps through social media, we figured she might have done the same with Munoz. So, I went online, and I set up a ‘I heart Alex Munoz for mayor’ page. He messaged me back within half an hour,” Izzy told her husband. 

"When you talked about the pension system, I got so excited"? You set up a honey trap?”

“Yep. So, then I asked him, ‘are you sure you can handle it?’ He responded, ‘yes, but not here’.” 

“He wanted to meet?” 

“Well, not exactly. He asked her to switch to a less public site. Pleasurewithoutconscience.Com.” 

“A cheating site? Alex has an account?” 

“Well, no, not by name. But his alter ego does.” 

“’Enrique Trouble’?” 

“I think that's his porno name,” Fin laughed. 

“Come on. This can't be real.” 

“Okay, he asked for a picture first, so I sent him this selfie,” she said showing the picture of half of a boob hanging out of her bra.

“Nice,” Fin and Nick teased.

“Yes, thank you.” 

“Can we move on?" Rafael snapped. "Any response?"

“Not yet.” 

“This could all be a hoax.” 

“Yeah, but that's why I went ahead and asked him for a photo, okay? You've seen me. Let me see you.”

“Don't hold your breath. He's at a fundraiser with his wife and daughters right now ten days away from the election. He can't waste time.” 

“No, guys like this, they make the time,” Fin told the ADA. 

“We've got a reply.” 

“Well, you said he was at an event. Doesn't that look like a tuxedo shirt?,” Nick asked. 

“There's no face. I mean, it could be anyone.” 

“Okay, well, wait. How about this? Izzy ask if that’s all he got,” Amanda told her. 

She did and it wasn’t long she and the rest of the squad saw more of Alex than they ever wanted to. 

“Okay! That's the full Munoz right there,” Fin said as he turned away from the computer. 

“And this guy wants to be the next mayor of New York?”

“Nick, shh,” Izzy said, seeing the look on her husband’s face.  
_______________________________

“I could lose my job, putting my whole family in jeopardy just by speaking to you. Tell me there are no other women.”

“Yelina is the only one. I’m sorry if that still hurts, Rafael.”

“Trust me, it hasn’t in 20 years.” 

“So, you say. You know what she thinks? You’ve always been jealous of me.”

“Is that right?”

“It kills you that I ended up with her, doesn’t it?”

“Not in the least bit cause you know what I got from what she did to me?”

“A rich white girl from Brooklyn? Think I don’t know how your father in law has taken care of you over the years?” 

“I got a family and wife that loves me. More importantly, I got a wife that is faithful to me. You really think Yelina would never do it to you, huh?”

“She hasn’t once.”

“That you know of,” he said as he sat down his espresso cup and stood up. “Is that why you’ve been ‘helping’ these other women? Payback for something she did?”

“Whatever,” Alex scoffed.  
_________________________________  
“You and Dad okay?” Rory asked when Izzy got home after she and Nick made a trip to Yonkers to talk to a 15-year-old that Alex that given money to for nude pictures.

“Just…we have a complicated case, baby.”

“You guys haven’t really been talking. That’s unusual.” 

“It’s just…grown up stuff.”

“You guys are okay though, right?”

“We’re fine,” Rafael told his daughter as he came in. 

“Okay.”

“Nothing to worry about. I promise, princesa. Now go to bed,” he told his second oldest daughter as he kissed the top of her head.

She trekked upstairs to her room, leaving her parents in the kitchen, so Izzy started heating her husband up his plate.

“Where’ve you been?” She asked him quietly.

“I went, uh, to the Police Association Ball.”

“Oh. What for?”

“To talk to Alex.”

“And?”

“I told him to suspend the campaign and things might go easier for him but he wouldn’t listen. My hands are tied now. I had to turn the pictures of Jodie Lanier over to a special prosecutor. I risked everything to try and help him. Of course, he accused me of being ashamed of where I come from in so many words. Amaro was right. He sees me as a sell-out because of my scholarships to Harvard.”

“I’m sorry. I know this was hard for you. And you earned those scholarships, never feel bad over all your hard work.”

“I had a job to do. I did it.”

“Yeah, you did. Well, eat your dinner and come to bed.”

“Hey,” he said as he grabbed her hand.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t ever think I have any feelings for her.”

“O-okay.”

“I mean it. 19 years remember that. So many more to go.”

“I know,” she told him with a smile. “Don’t be long.”  
____________________________________  
“After all my family has been through? We will sue the city!” 

“With false charges? Just like you threatened your husband?” Izzy asked the mother of a 14-year-old girl who had coached her 4-year-old brother to lie that his music teacher had molested him. 

“Oh, how dare you? Why would my daughter do this?” 

“Because Jackie dropped her as a student. He told you you weren't good enough for American diva,” Fin answered. 

“He dropped me. So, what? Okay, I know how good I am, I know I'm going to be a star, and my whole life, everybody's been telling me that. Okay, it's just a matter of time,” Brooke Allen told her.

“They've been telling you that your whole life? So it must have really sucked when you found out everybody was lying to you,” Izzy shot back. She didn’t let her own daughter talk to her like that so this 14-year-old brat wasn’t going to get the best of her either.

“That's not true! Okay, and I didn't do this to Jackie, Jackie did this to me. Mom, don't let them talk to me like this!” 

“I won't. We’re leaving.” 

“Ms. Allen?” 

“What, Detective Barba?” 

“You must be really proud of your daughter.”

“Bitch,” Fin said once the door was close. I’d never have let Ken speak to me that way.”

“Cami is no angel but shit like gets her grounded fast.”   
________________________________________  
After the charges were dropped against Jackie Walker, they followed him out of the courtroom.

“I know you don't want to hear any more apologies. I'm sorry.” 

“You're sorry? Is that supposed to make it right, Detective Barba?” 

“Jackie look, if you want us to talk with the school…” 

“Haven't you done enough? You all dragged me into this. I told you from the beginning that I had nothing to do with it, that I was innocent and you didn't believe me. You wouldn't even listen to my side!” 

Rafael walked up as Jackie was letting loose on Amanda and Izzy.

“Mr. Walker…” 

“And those two girls, when do they get charged?” 

“The DA has agreed to let them take a plea. For misdemeanor obstruction, they'll do one year's probation.” 

“Probation? Are you kidding me, Rafa?” 

“We can't take this to trial. The girls won't testify against each other. The only way to make a case is to put two four-year-old boys on the stand to testify against their sisters. Those boys are damaged enough as it is.”

“They're damaged? I see. I taught your son, Mr. Barba. Did you even talk to Matty?”

“We did, Mr. Walker, and he said…”

“You know what? Just get away from me,” he told them all as he stormed off. 

“I keep going over it in my head. Those kids did not sound coached,” Liv said. 

“People lie, people make mistakes, people get hurt. This comes with the territory,” Rafael added. 

“No, you guys can keep telling yourselves whatever you want. This didn't have to happen,” Izzy said as she walked away, Amanda following her.

“I should go…”

“Just let her be, Liv. She’ll be fine.”


	68. Chapter 68

“How’s your case coming? Are you going to put Amelia’s rapists on the stand?” Izzy asked as she brought Rafael dinner in his home office.

“Not a chance,” he scoffed. “You understand why I kicked you and Nick off the case?”

“Yeah. I get it. I didn’t know.”

“You’re married to a lawyer and you didn’t think about the Garrity rule?”

“Um, no?”

“You realize that if I heard anything from that file, a mistrial would’ve been declared and it wouldn’t have just been yours and Nick’s asses, it would’ve been mine, too.”

“I completely understand, Rafa. I’m not mad about it. You were doing your job.”

“Good,” he replied curtly. “You know, I’m not really that hungry.”

“Are you sure? It’s your favorite.”

“What did I say?”

“Okay. Well, don’t stay up too long.”

He didn’t say anything as she walked out of his office. Truth was, things had been kind of cold between them since the whole ordeal with Alex. Even with the Jackie Parker case, knowing Izzy was upset about the way it had turned out, he didn’t really seem to comfort her. She went to bed alone that night, just like several others in recent weeks.

He slept with his back toward her most nights, which unusual in itself. She’d try to roll him toward her, which had never really been a problem even when he was asleep but now, he wouldn’t budge.  
_________________________________  
“Hey.”

“What brings you in here, Camila?”

“Mom said you won your case.”

“Jury gave the right verdict,” he said with a half smile as he propped his feet up on his desk in his home office. “Now, do you need money?”

“No,” she laughed. “Why would you think that?”

“You never come into my office to talk about a case, unless you want something that something is usually money.”

“What’s been going on with you and Mom?”

“What do you mean?”

“Since like after your birthdays, you guys don’t talk much.”

“It’s these cases…”

“I’m 13, not stupid, Dad. I know I joke around about you guys kissing but you’ve like, stopped.”

“It’s…it’s nothing. Nothing you’d understand anyways.”

“Oookay.”

“Is that why you came in here?”

“Well, yeah. How many friend do I have that their parents are actually together?”

“Your mother and I aren’t getting divorced if that’s you what you’re worried about.”

“If you say so.”

“Did you need anything else?”

“No, that was it.”

“Okay. Go finish your homework.”

“Yes, sir,” she said as she got up and hugged her dad. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Princesa.”  
_______________________________

“Rafa?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we talk for a minute?”

“I guess,” he sighed as he sat on the side of the bed after a long day of trial prep and such with their latest case, involving a friend of Amanda’s from AA/GA murdering her lover.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

“You haven’t really seemed like it lately.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve seemed…distant the last few weeks, especially after everything with Alex.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. We’ve been together long enough that I know when something is bothering you. You’ve been hard on me at work, we hardly talk when we’re at home. Is it work? Should we not work together anymore?”

“It’s not that. Just go to sleep.”

“Not until you tell me what’s going on.”

“Okay, fine,” he started as he turned toward her. “I’m sorry if I’ve been distant since Alex’s case but there’s something that is basically eating me alive.”

“Tell me.”

“You hurt me during that case.”

“What do you mean? How?”

“To not stand behind me and to insinuate I still had any feelings for Yelina…We’ve been together almost 20 years. I’ve been with no one else and haven’t wanted to be.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

“I can’t recall a single instance in which I’ve ever led you to believe I still wanted her. Have I?”

“No.”

“Then why would you even ask me if I was sure I was over her? That hurt me almost as much as when you broke up with me. We’re supposed to be a team but you seemed to choose your squad over me and our kids noticed it. You created the tension with your own words. How would you feel if I accused you of still having feelings for Antonio?”

“I’d hope you’d never…”

“It’s never once crossed my mind so that’s why I’m dumbfounded as to why you would ever think I have anything left for Yelina. I haven’t. The moment she told me the truth that first Thanksgiving, I was done. Anything I felt her left in that very moment.” 

“I know…”

“Do you? Really because it doesn’t seem like it. I mean, to be honest, I’ve wanted to sleep in the guest bedroom.”

“But…why?”

“I’ve been…not really angry…just upset.”

“So, why haven’t you?”

“Rory was worried about us and then Cami came to me a week ago and basically asked if we were getting divorced.”

“She did?”

“In so many words. If I had started sleeping in the guestroom, we wouldn’t have 2 kids worrying about us, but all 5 of them and I wasn’t upsetting them.”

“I see,” she said quietly. He was right, after all. She had made the comment asking if he was sure he was over Yelina when everything happened with Eddie and Alex. She wasn’t thinking when she said that night at dinner that one night but she never meant to hurt him, either.

“I love you. That’s not changed. I’m…”

“Hurt. Yeah, I understand. I really didn’t mean anything by that comment that night.”

“Maybe you didn’t but that doesn’t change how it made me feel. I get it, I’m a man but I can get hurt just as easily as you can.”

“You're right, Raf. I know you can get hurt, too. All I can say is I’m sorry and promise that it won’t happen again.”

“Fine. Look, I really need to get some sleep. Nick told me something today that is not gonna go over well tomorrow when I question Amanda’s sponsor.”

“Okay.” She wondered if she’d get back in “her spot” that night when they fell asleep but he turned his back to her again when he laid down.  
_______________________________  
“What’s this? Where’s the kids?” Rafael asked when he came into find his wife setting their kitchen table just for them.

“They all have plans,” she smiled. “Come on. I made your favorite.”

“Elizabeth I don’t need a pity…”

“Rafa come on. It’s been a few days and we’re still…I’m trying to show you I’m sorry.”

“Okay. Let me get my jacket hung up and I’ll be back.”

Their dinner was awkward at best. Amanda had to find out that Nate, her sponsor, wasn’t only sleeping with her but also her friend that was on trial, Lena, so that was mainly what they talked about.

“Why don’t you get out of that suit…”

“Izz…”

“Come take a bath with me. Please?”

“Go start the water,” he told her quietly. He was surprised to find her in their huge tub and instead of her scooting up, she motioned for him to sit in front of her. She started rubbing his shoulders first then moved to wash his body. The faucet had a detachable hose so she brought it to her and started washing his hair. He moaned quietly while she massaged the guava shampoo he was so fond off through his dark brown hair. She was winning her way back and not by using sex or spending money. Once his hair was rinsed, he leaned his head back, pulling her neck closer to him, placing his lips on hers.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too. I’ll never forget it.”

“Good,” he smiled. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too. Come on, let’s get out.”

Once they were dry and dressed, her in one of his old Harvard t-shirts and white shorts, him in a white tshirt and plaid pajama bottoms, he put his arms around her, pulled her to his chest. He played with her hair while she played with the same crucifix she had played with since college. The TV offered more background noise than anything as they fell asleep, breathing in sync just as always.


	69. Chapter 69

“You are not going to believe who called me last night,” Tony told his sister as he ate the dinner that was waiting for his brother in law. Of course, with a big family, Izzy always made more than enough food but Tony literally took the plate his sister had made for her husband.

“Who?”

“Erin.”

“You’re kidding me. What did she want?”

“When was the last time you talked to her?”

“About two weeks ago or so. Intelligence is keeping her busy. You didn’t answer my question.”

“She was drunk as fuck for starters. Asking me to come to Chicago.”

“You’re not going, are you?”

“No. She was drunk. I know better than to listen to drunk Erin. She probably doesn’t remember calling me.”

“Did she tell who’s in that unit with her?”

“Antonio? Yeah,” Tony laughed. “I thought ‘there’s a blast from the past’. He still married?”

“Yeah. They have two kids now.”

“Well, not everyone is my super fertile sister.”

“Shut up. So, how’re things with Dr…”

“LaRusso? Eh, it died on the table.”

“That soon, huh?”

“I would just like to be able to talk about my day once in awhile. 4 dates. 4 dates, sis, and all I heard about was her job, her life. She didn’t realize I was in the Bronx DA’s office until date three.”

“Jeez.”

“I ran into Mariana the other day.”

“And I’m just now finding out? How is she?”

“Good. Yeah. Her and her husband are expecting their second baby.”

“Is that regret in your eyes, I see?”

“No! I don’t know,” Tony shrugged. “Maybe I should’ve tried more.”

“Is that my food, Tony?”

“Hey, Rafi! Bout time you got home.”

“I have to actually work,” he snarked as he loosened his tie before kissing his wife’s cheek. “Now, is that my plate?”

“No. I came in and fixed my own.”

“Really? Okay. Well, my wife text me and told me my dinner was in the microwave but oh, what do you know?! The microwave is empty!”

“My bad. You want the rest?”

“I would never eat after you.”

“There’s leftovers in the fridge, babe.”

“Yeah…babe.”

“Shut up,” Rafael told Tony as he rolled his eyes. “Come in my house, eat my damn dinner…”

“Stop muttering, Barba.”

“Stop drinking my scotch, Rossetti.”

“Boys, boys! Now I have enough to deal with when my own kids fight. This isn’t college anymore.”

“Sorry, mi amor,” Rafael laughed.

“So, uh, how’s Eddie doing after…everything?”

“Uh, he’s okay. I talked to him a few days ago actually. He still feels bad for rolling on Alex but he told me he knows he did the right thing.”

“Good for him. So, when’s the William Lewis trial coming up?”

“After the beginning of the year, barring any more motions.”

“Hopefully you can get him this time.”

“Should be able to. Should be able to put him away for the rest of his life.”  
___________________________________  
“Did you guys see that jury forewoman?” Amanda asked after Lewis was found guilty of assaulting a police officer and kidnapping.

“Please. She fell in love with that creepy fuck,” Izzy added as she took a drink of her scotch.

“So, how many more times do you think we’re gonna have to celebrate Liv’s promotion?”

“No idea, Fin. I gotta sit that one out, though.”

“Everything okay, Izz?”

“Yeah. Matty is fighting a cold. I don’t like being away from him when he’s sick more than I have to.”

“His immune system still not as strong or something?”

“It’s mainly me, Rollins. He seems to fight things off pretty well but ever since that first time he got sick…I just kind of…”

“She freaks out,” Fin teased.

“That’s putting it mildly,” Izzy admitted. “He is my baby after all.”

“Well, I’m gonna go see if Amaro is finished with the bag. We’ll meet you there, Rollins. Have a good night, Shorty.”

“See you guys. I guess I’m gonna head home to my kids. Give Liv my best.”

“I will,” Rollins told her as they walked out of Forlini’s.  
______________________________  
Izzy walked in and went to check on her youngest son first. Oreo was curled up in his bed with him as he watched “Despicable Me 2.”

“Hey, Mommy.”

“Hey, baby. How are you feeling?”

“Bad.”

“Your fever seems to be gone.”

“Daddy gave me some medicine. It was yucky.”

“Well, you have to take it so you’ll get better.”

“I know. Can you lay with me?”

“Let me go check on your brother and sisters and tell Daddy hi.”

“You mean kiss him.”

“Yes,” she laughed. “Why are all of you so obsessed with your Dad and I kissing?”

“What does obsessed mean?”

“I’ll explain later. Cover back up and I’ll be back.”

“Okay.”

“I thought I heard you,” Rafael smiled as he met his wife in the hallway. 

“Yeah, thought I’d check on Matty.”

“He’s fine. You always worry so much about him.”

“Do I have to remind you…”

“And how long has that been? He’s not a baby anymore and we’re not out of town,” he told her with a chuckle.

“True.”

“You sure you don’t want to go to Liv’s?”

“I’ve already celebrated the sergeant’s exam a few times. I just want to crawl in bed and not come out for a few days.”

“Why don’t you get something to eat first?”

“What’s for dinner?”

“Since I didn’t have a case, I got home early enough and made pork chops, rice and black beans…”

“Say no more. Just take me to the kitchen.”

“Gladly,” he said as he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.

“Rafa! Put me down,” she laughed.

“What? I’m taking you to the kitchen so you can eat.”

“I forget how good your ass looks from this angle.”

“Here we are, mi lady,” he laughed as he put her down. 

“Okay, give the blood a second to go back down out of my head.”

“You okay?”

“I’m fine. You’re so dumb.”

“You didn’t say that when I used to carry you to the bedroom like that.”

“And when was the last time you did that?”

“Are you hinting at something?”

“No. I’m just asking if I’ve gotten too heavy for you to do that?”

“Nunca, cariño. Eat your dinner.”  
____________________________  
After Izzy ate and changed into her pajamas, she went to find Matty asleep in his bed. She decided to keep her promise, however, and crawled into his twin bed with him. 

“Is this where you’ll be tonight?”

“For a little bit, Rafa. I did tell him I would.”

“Okay. Try not to stay in here all night.”

“I won’t.”

He knew, even if she didn’t, she wouldn’t be in bed that night. The first few weeks of 2014 with Lewis’ trial wore them all out. She had left her phone on it’s charger in her bedroom and didn’t have a care in the world as she fell asleep with her youngest son snuggled next to her.

“Babe?”

“Hmm?”

“Izz?”

“Yeah,” she asked sleepily.

“It’s Fin,” Rafael told her as he handed her phone to her.

“Fin? What’s up? Um…no, no. I’ll be there in just a little bit. Yeah, I’m sure.”

“What’s going on?”

“Uh…Nick and Amanda came up on a crime when they were leaving Liv’s. A uni was shot so Nick shot to cover her. Reverend Curtis and IAB are already at the hospital.”

“Damn.”

“And Cassidy is with IAB.”

“What?”

“I think that’s Fin said. Anyways, I gotta get to the office. Take statements and what not. At least I got a nap. What are you doing?”

“Please, he wakes up without his Mama? You know how he’s gonna act so I’ll put him in bed with me.”

“You’re sweet,” she told her husband with a smile.  
___________________________________  
“Can’t Barba do something?”

“I asked, Rollins, but he was ordered to stay away due to the fact Nick is his friend and he works directly with us,” Izzy told her once they heard Amaro was out on bail. “He did call in a favor and get him a lawyer though.”

“Who?”

“Calhoun.”

“Seriously?” Amanda kind of scoffed.

“We’ve known Rita since college and like it or not, she’s good at her job. Rafael said Nick needed the best possible defense and the only way he’s gonna get that…”

“I get it. $500,000 though?”

“Yeah, he had to call Maria so she’d sign off on using his house as collateral.”

“Oh, wow.”

“Then Maria called me, wanting to know how bad this could be.”

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her I honestly had no idea because I don’t. I mean he was basically arrested before he was indicted.”

“This is bullshit. He thought the kid was armed…I mean, he ended up saving his life.”

“I know, Amanda. I’m gonna go by and check on him later. You wanna go?”

“I better not. We’ve been on shaky ground since everything with Lena still.”

“He could use the support, Amanda.”

“I know. I might.”  
________________________  
Liv had gotten there before Izzy did. Nick’s mother, Cesaria was there as was his daughter Zara. They were visiting in the front room when shots were fired through the front window. Izzy had walked up as Nick was seemingly about to attack some guys with a baseball bat and Liv was trying to diffuse the situation.

After Cragen and Tucker came by and Cesaria took Zara to her apartment, Izzy had Nick come home with her. She could hear him arguing with Maria on the phone from the guestroom.

“Everything okay?” 

“She wants sole custody, at least until my case is over.”

“Damn, Nick, I'm sorry. That's tough.” 

“Well, I mean, I can't argue with her. It's safer for Zara. But if I get convicted, I'm gonna have to ask Maria to bring Zara up for prison visits.” 

“Come on, don't catastrophize.” 

“I'm way past that. And I'm thinking I should cut a deal.” 

“Really?” 

“You know who I miss right now? Munch.” 

“I think we all do. Have you talked to him?”

“No.”

“Maybe you should.”  
____________________________  
Rita had tried to talk Nick out of testifying before the grand jury but he did it anyways. He was completely raw when he did and didn’t get the 13 votes to indict him.

“What does 1PP want?” Nick asked as he sat back at his desk. 

“Well, after two days of negotiating, you're looking at a command discipline, anger management, and mandatory retraining to be done using vacation days. And for the moment, you're on desk duty,” Cragen told him. 

“Until when?” 

“Well…until Benson says you're not.”

The whole squad, including Liv, looked at their Captain in shock. 

“What are you talking about?” Izzy asked. 

“All right, everybody, listen up, please. I didn't want to announce this until Nick's situation got resolved, but it's done, and so am I. I'm leaving.”

“What? Now?” Liv asked him. 

“Hey, is this part of the deal? Was this their pound of flesh? Because if it is…” Nick started. 

“No, no, no. no. This is my call.” 

“Where you gonna go, Captain?” 

“Around the world, actually, Rollins. Eileen has two tickets for a six-month cruise, and I have enough accrued leave to take me through my mandatory retirement date. If I stay, I make less than if I leave.” 

“Cap, cruise. Okay. If anyone's earned it…” Amanda started as she teared up. 

“I'm proud of my time here. I'm honored and grateful to have worked with the finest unit of detectives I've ever known. Nick, you're gonna get through all this. You're too good a cop and too good a man not to. Amanda, I was never sorry that I brought you up from Atlanta. I would do it again. Fin. What can I say? For a guy who never should have been an SVU detective, you're okay.” 

“Right back at you, Captain.” 

“Izzy you and Benson have always been the daughters I never had. You keep taking care of that beautiful family. Grandpa Don will still be happy to babysit any time. And, uh, tell the counselor to relax some.”

“Of course,” she nodded with her own tears in her eyes. “Nobody could ever take your place.” 

“Well, for the meantime, Sergeant Benson will. She's ready. Now, it's not easy going from player to coach, so don't bust her chops. But if they do, you bust 'em right back.”

“We’ll behave for her, Captain,” Fin laughed.

“I don’t want to hear any different.” Cragen went into his now former office and grabbed the box off his things.

“Oh, Izzy?”

“Yeah?” She asked as he handed her his stapler. “What’s this for?”

“It’s my favorite. I was glad your Rabbi didn’t take it during his time here,” he laughed.

“I’ll keep it safe if he ever comes back.”


	70. Chapter 70

“Hey, Liv, uh, Sergeant?”

“It’s still Liv, Izz,” she laughed.

“Sorry. Hey, do you mind if I cut out?”

“Everything okay?”

“It’s Rory.”

“She okay?”

“She didn’t have the luxury of being at home when she got her first…visitor like her sister did.”

“Ahhh. I see.”

“Yeah, so I need to go get her some new clothes and I think I’m just gonna take her out of school for the rest of the day.”

“Yeah, of course, go. Rollins was meeting Barba in Jersey. Nick, Fin, and I can hold everything down here.”

“Thanks.”

“Sure,” Olivia smiled. “Tell her it’s gonna be okay.”

“Well, I’m kind of glad she’s not having to deal with her Dad like Cami did.”

“I can only imagine.”  
__________________________________  
Izzy ran to the house to pick up Rory some new clothes and head to her school. She was sitting in the nurses office, waiting on her mother.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Mama.”

“You okay?”

“I guess,” she shrugged.

“Well, here, go get changed and I brought you some supplies.”

“Thanks,” she smiled.

Izzy spoke to the nurse who told her Rory had come in complaining of a stomach ache and when she had asked her a list of other symptoms and then sent her to the bathroom. Rory came back and told her that she had started her period.

“You ready?”

“I’m not going back to school?”

“No. I took Cami shopping when she got hers so I’m gonna take you.”

“Oh.”

“Do you not want to go shopping?”

“Well, that’s more Cami’s kind of stuff.”

“Okay, fair enough. What do you want to do?”

“Maybe go see a movie?”

“What do you want to see?”

“’Ride Along’?”

“I don’t see why not. Just don’t tell your dad.”

“Where is Daddy?”

“Jersey. I don’t know when he’ll be home.”  
_____________________________________  
After the movie and a trip to McDonald’s, Izzy took Rory home and let her get some rest. 

“What are you doing home?” Rafael asked when they walked in.

“I should ask you the same thing.”

“This case is turning into a bigger mess. Plus, Rollins was late meeting me. Through off my whole day. I told Rubirosa when she can figure something else out, to call me, and I would go to her office. Rory okay?”

“Well, she’s 11 almost 12.”

“So?”

“She’s been a little grumpy lately…”

“She takes after me.”

“Do I have to spell it out for you, Rafa?”

He stood and looked at his wife for a minute, when it dawned on him.

“Poor baby. And at school?”

“Yeah.”

“Awww. I don’t see 70 shopping bags.”

“She wanted to go to the movies instead. You know she’s not as into clothes as Cami. Then she was wanting something greasy and what did I used to crave when I’d get mine?”

“Quarter Pounders and fries.”

“That’s right.”

“What movie did you go see?”

“Uh, just some stupid buddy-cop movie. Nothing too bad.”

“You mean ‘Ride Along’?”

“Yeah.”

“You took our 11 year old to an Ice Cube movie?”

“It was PG-13 and it wasn’t that bad.”

“Fine,” he kind of laughed. “Did she at least enjoy it?”

“Yeah, she did.”

“Well, I’ll just let her rest.”

“Are you saying you were gonna go talk to her?”

“I think I’m a little better equipped than I was two years ago, mi amor.”

“Yeah, maybe so.”

“That’s Rubirosa,” he said as he picked up his phone out of his pocket. He walked off to take the call and came back a few minutes later. “I’m sorry…”

“Go.”

“I love you.”

“Love you, too.”  
______________________________  
Rafael was working through some files in his home office when Rory knocked on his door.

“Daddy?”

“Come in, Princesa. How are you…feeling?”

“Like crap. Can I read my book in here? Cami and Kellie are being way too loud, even with her door closed.”

“Sure. You can crawl up in the big chair if you want.”

“Thanks.”

Rafael went back to his work while Rory pulled her legs up under her and started reading “The Fault in Our Stars”. She didn’t like to admit that she liked books like that but it had become one of her favorites and much like her parents, she liked to reread her favorites from time to time.

She ended up falling asleep in the big leather chair in her dad’s office. He finally put his gold pen down, took off his glasses, picked up the 11-year-old and took her down the hall to her room.

“Thanks, Daddy,” she yawned as he covered her up.

“You’re welcome, bebita. Get some rest. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”  
____________________________________  
“Hey, I didn’t expect you in bed so soon.”

“One early night a week can’t hurt anything,” he shrugged. “Guess who fell asleep in my office?”

“Really?”

“Yeah. She hadn’t done that since was 5 or 6.”

“Did you get her to bed?”

“Yep. Picked her up, carried to her bed, covered her up, and turned off her light.”

“I know I tell you this all time but you really are amazing.”

“Thank you. They make it easy, Well, four of them do.”

“She’s a teenager, babe.”

“Don’t remind me. Is she really going to be 14 in June?”

“Yep, Matty will be 5 next month, the twins will be 9 in April, and Rory will be 12 in May.”

“And how old are we?”

“We’ll be 40 in October.”

“Ugh. Already?”

“It’s only January, Rafa,” she giggled.

“Well, I’m about to feel like a man of 30,” he whispered as he started kissing her neck.

“I’ll make you feel like a man of 20 if you let me.”

“But we didn’t do much at 20. We only had two moves.”

“No, we ended up with three and I still love those three. Especially the first one we tried.”

“Glad you said 20 and not 19,” he laughed against her neck.

“Hey, you were still 19 when we started getting better.”

“That is true,” he smiled before licking his top lip and then biting his bottom one.

“Get over here,” she whispered.


	71. Chapter 71

“Ooh, somebody must have big plans tonight,” Amanda teased when she saw the vase of rainbow roses on Izzy’s desk when they came back from grabbing a quick lunch.

“I actually didn’t think we were going to do anything for Valentine’s Day.”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

“We stopped a long time ago actually.”

“Why?”

“Because a lot of times, our plans would end up canceled or something would come up with one of the kids and besides, we don’t have to go out on this day just to prove how we feel about each other.”

“But isn’t this the anniversary of your first date, too? I mean it’s been 20 years. If he wouldn’t do something for that, I’d lose respect for him myself.”

“Valentine’s Day is just another excuse for people…”

“So, you’re going to tell him to cancel whatever plans he’s made?”

“Oh, no. I definitely want to see what he has planned,” Izzy smiled.

“That’s what I thought. At least you have plans. Meanwhile, I’ll be stuck here…”

“You’ve been putting in a lot of OT lately.”

“I maxed out a couple of credit cards at Christmas.”

“I could always loan you some money so you don’t have to work so much.”

“Thanks, Izz but I’m a big girl.”

“Okay. If you change your mind…”

“Got it,” Amanda replied with a smile.

“Ooh-hoo, somebody’s getting some tonight,” Nick teased when he saw the roses.

“Shut it, Nick.”

“You can’t deny him when we got you…” he started as he grabbed the card out of Izzy’s hand. “A rose for every year he has loved you. Awww.”

“Guys stop.”

“Are you blushing?”

“No, Fin! Leave me alone.”

“Is this first grade?” Liv asked as she walked up from lunch with Cassidy. 

“Thank you, Liv.”

“I don’t see any of you with dates tonight.”

“Damn,” Izzy snickered. “Harsh, Sarge.”

“I have a ‘date’. Zara is coming in from DC.”

“Okay. Fin?”

“You know me, Sarge.”

“Uh-huh, video games and Chinese.”

“We were just having fun.”

“We still have jobs to do, Nick. Besides…not all of us have an ADA that looks at us with stars in their eyes.”

“That’s it, I’m going home for the rest of the day.”

“Oh, come on. We’re just having a little fun,” Benson laughed.

“Hell is filled with people like you.”  
__________________________________  
“How was dinner?” Rafael asked his wife as the sat at Tavern on the Green.

“It was wonderful, Raf. What made you decide to…”

“Well, today means something to me.”

“You know technically, in 1994 Valentine’s Day was on a Monday so we went out on Saturday.”

“I know that but what did we spend all day Monday doing after our Literature class?”

“Making out like the two hormonal teenagers we were,” she laughed.

“Exactly.”

“Is that what you have planned for later?”

“I think we might go a little further this time,” he said with that crooked smile. “Would you care to dance?”

“Sure.”

“Actually wait,” he said as he reached into his jacket. “I got you something.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything. I have everything I need.”

“Maybe but it’s just a little something.”

She opened the long black box and found a white gold chain with a very familiar pink stone.

“Is this…”

“Yeah. Technically, I gave this to you 19 years ago today, the ring anyways. I found it in a drawer not that long ago and decided to do something with it.”

“I love it. Thank you.”

“Now, about that dance?”

“Of course.”  
_____________________________  
“Enjoying your book?”

“I am, Dad. Thanks.”

“I got earrings and you got some lame book? Really?” Cami asked her little sister.

“You know, the only reason you got anything was because I panicked and I just wanted to make you feel better that day, Camila. Then I thought it was only fair that I get Rory something too since your mother did her own thing with you.”

“Still. Do you always have to be such a nerd, Rory?”

“Knock it off! Don’t call your sister a nerd. Maybe if you were a little more like her, you wouldn’t have brought home two C’s on your last report card. I suggest if you want your phone back, those will be brought up to high B’s next time.”

“Yeah, like your boobs, Cami.”

“Rory stop! Both of you just go to your rooms.”

“I am not a B, Rory.”

“You’re not a C like Mom, at least not without those cutlet things you use!”

“I said rooms! Now!”

“Are they fighting again?”

“Yes, RJ. Stay far away from them so you don’t get caught up in it. They’ve given me a migraine. Did you need something?”

“Just this permission slip signed.”

“Finally, a kid that doesn’t need anything but my permission for something. What’s this for?”

“That field trip next week.”

“That’s right, which means of course, you’ll still need money.”

“But I’m not asking for it right now.”

“Thank god for that.”

“Seriously why do they fight like that?”

“Hormones, Junior.”

“What?”

“N-never mind. I hope you and Matty don’t fight like that.”

“I make no promises.”

“He’s four years younger than you.”

“Still. Someone is gonna have to teach him how to defend himself.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Where’s Mom?”

“The precinct. I’m about to head there myself.”

“But it’s almost 7:00.”

“They are working on something and it’s gonna go into the long hours of the night. Jonathan will be here until one of us gets home.”

“Okay.”

“And I better not come home and pull up the Hulu, Amazon, or Netflix accounts and see that you’ve been watching ‘Family Guy’ or ‘South Park’.”

“I won’t.”

“No Adam Sandler movies either.”

“Ugh fine.”  
_________________________________  
After William Lewis escaped prison, kidnapping his prison doctor’s daughter to lure Liv out, now Lieutenant Declan Murphy had taken charge of the squad. After tracking them to an abandoned warehouse in Queens, seconds before hearing a gun shot and finding Lewis dead, they were all called to IAB as Liv was close to being indicted.

Again, Izzy asked her husband to call Rita, like she had with Nick.

After Murphy testified, Liv was cleared but Murphy was still in place as CO. Nick and Izzy had plenty of experience working under him and knew his style.

“Heavy in the Eastern Bloc, China, and the American South,” Rafael said as he looked at the red dots on their huge screen. 

“No comment,” Fin and Izzy said in unison. 

“Turn those IPs over to the FBI and Interpol. Any in our backyard?” Declan asked. 

“Four in Brooklyn, three in Queens,” Rollins answered. 

“Any in Manhattan?” Rafael asked.

“One confirmed so far. Municipal IP address, calls himself ‘Flash’,” Nick told him. 

“That must be the guy who told Lucky that he wanted to meet her in Bangkok and bring her to New York,” Liv added. 

“Is he still at work?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Fin, Izzy, go pick him up.”

“Copy that,” they said as they got up to leave.  
_______________________________  
Maria had told Nick about a job offer she had received in California, making more than both of them put together, basically asking him to start over, even if it wasn’t together.

“What are you gonna do?”

“I…I dunno, Izz. That’s 3,000 miles away. I can’t have Zara that far away from me and have Gil still here. I mean, he just got me in his life.”

“I know, Nicky.”

“Either way, I’m screwed and I lose one of my kids.”

“There’s got to be a better way.”

“Maria’s not looking to discuss it. I have a feeling, it’s go to Cali or…that’s it.”

Flash led the squad to another guy who called himself “Erastes”. Rafael got sick to his stomach reading his so-called “fantasies” on a dark-web site. 

Murphy and Amanda went UC as a couple to Erastes aka Simon Wilkes’ gallery to find out more.

Murphy arranged a meet with Wilkes to talk about “procuring” a boy to be tortured. Rafael was pissed as he thought it flirted with entrapment after listening to Murphy’s recording.

After Fin and Murphy met with Wilkes, he led them to his self-built torture chamber. The squad, CSU, everyone went through it with a fine toothed comb, coming up empty. The only thing was the fact he had said online about watching a boy from PS 27, which was right across the street from the chamber.  
___________________________  
Even after thing that was presented, the jury still found Wilkes not guilty of attempted kidnapping and attempted child abuse. George Huang even came in and testified that Wilkes was a ticking time bomb. 

The squad and Barba went out for drinks, only to see Wilkes, his wife, and defense attorney Minnona Efron at the same restaurant.

“Jury deliberated less than three hours.” 

“I wouldn't take it personally, counselor. You put up a good fight,” Declan told him.

Nick just kept watching as they sat down. 

“Let it go, Nick. We gave it our best shot,” Izzy told him. 

“Right, and that's it, right? We just wait for Simon to do something? He's not gonna stop.” 

“You can't let it get in your head, detective.”

“Yeah, sure, Lieutenant.”


	72. Chapter 72

“Aww come on, Mom. That’s not fair,” Ella laughed after Izzy made another shot in their and RJ’s game of HORSE.

“What do you mean? I played basketball for years.”

“Still,” RJ said as he passed the ball to Ella.

“Don’t hate,” Izzy laughed. “Oh!!! That puts you at H-O-R, Rafaella.”

“Hush, Mom.”

“Come on, Junior. You’re at H-O.”

“Hope I will be when I get in high school.”

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing, Mom.”

“I better not ever hear you referring to a girl as a ‘ho’ again. Capisce?” 

“Yeah, Mom,” he told her as he blushed.

“I mean it.”

“I know. Oh!!! Look at that! Guess I’m a Rossetti after all,” he laughed as he made the shot his mother had set for him.

“Lucky shot, Junior,” Izzy teased.

“Mi amor?” 

“What’s up, Rafa?”

“Rollins is on your phone.”

“Okay. Thanks. Hey, Amanda, what’s going on?”

She listened as Amanda told her about Nick finding Simon Wilkes taking pictures of kids at PS 27 on the playground. He ended up attacking him and was arrested.

“I have to go, Rafa,” Izzy said as she tossed the basketball back to her kids.

“What’s going on?”

“I have to go.”

“You’re supposed to be on vacation.”

“I know, honey. I just…I’ll tell you later. Okay?”

“Okay,” he nodded.

“Sorry guys,” she told her twins.

“It’s fine, Mom. Go to work,” RJ told her.  
____________________________________  
She got in to find they were working two cases at once basically. Not just the case with Nick but Baby Boy Doe that they had rescued from child pornographers. They had found his mother in a sting. Her name was Ellie Porter. She was a pros but she wouldn’t give up her “daddy” Little Tino.

“Honestly, I went after him. I snapped,” Nick told Izzy and Amanda as they visited him in jail. 

“I didn't hear that. You didn't say it. Nick you are not throwing away your career for beating up that sick bastard. You know he's just looking to cash in,” Izzy told him. 

“Oh, he's suing me? I got nothing for him.” 

“Not you, the city. They're gonna claim it's a vendetta. The NYPD singled him out and tried to pin false charges on him. Well, that didn't work, so they sent you to beat him up,” Rollins added. 

“Right, well, none of that's true.” 

“No, but if you don't fight this, he's gonna end up with a major payday.” 

“Yeah, well, Izz, I don't have much fight left.” 

“Well, you got a lot of people pulling for you. But, Nick, you got to put out your hand,” Amanda said with a small smile.

“People like you two, Fin, Barba, and Benson? Murphy's not in my corner.” 

“No, but special investigator John Munch is,” Munch announced as he came in with a smile.

“We thought you wouldn't mind another visitor. We'll let you two catch up,” Izzy chuckled as she and Rollins got up to leave them alone.

“Are we really doing this, Izz?”

“We have to save Nick, Rollins. I don’t care what it takes.”

“Okay.”

They drove to Simon Wilkes’ gallery and practically blackmailed his wife into talking Simon into saying that he assaulted Nick. Neither of the blond detectives had any regrets as they left.  
__________________________________  
They got a call that Ellie had left the halfway house she was at and they found her burned in an alley.

She had been green-lit. Tino said he did it but they all knew he didn’t have the power.

“Izz?”

“What’s up, Sergeant?

“Could you come to Noah’s next hearing with me?”

“Of course. When is it?”

“Two hours.”

“Uh…yeah. I’ll be right with you, Liv.”

“Thank you. I really thought we could save Ellie…”

“Hey, Liv. She didn’t want to be saved. Okay?”

“You’re right,” Olivia nodded with tears in her eyes. “That baby was so close to having his…”

“I know, Liv,” Izzy said as she hugged her longtime friend and colleague.  
_____________________________  
Izzy stood with Liv as they listened to Trevor Langan tell Judge Linden that Ellie had been murdered.

“Sergeant Benson, you're here again?” 

“Yes, your honor.” 

“As the birth mother is deceased, and no father or other relative has come forward, I officially declare Noah Porter an orphan and ward of the state of New York. He shall continue to be cared for in an A.C.S. Facility unless….” Judge Linden paused, “Sergeant Benson, you rescued the infant, isn't that right?”

“Yes, your honor.” 

“And you're the only one who's taken a consistent interest on his behalf. Is there any chance you might like to become a foster mother to this baby?” 

“I'm sorry. Excuse me, your honor?” 

“I have a feeling about this, Sergeant Benson. Call it a judge's hunch. If you agree, I will order Noah Porter into your care as custodial parent for one year, at which time you will be given the option to permanently adopt him. Do you agree?”

Liv looked at Izzy who just nodded. “Uh, yes, your honor,” Liv answered.

“So ordered.”

“Can I do this, Izz?” Liv asked as she waited for Noah to be brought to her.

“I know you can. If you need any help, you have my number.”

“Thank you, Izzy. Oh look at him. He looks so healthy,” Liv gushed as Noah was handed to her.

“Now, for my area of expertise.”

“What’s that?”

“Shopping,” Izzy laughed.  
_________________________  
“Thank you so much for coming. I hated to call you so late but I’ve done everything I know but I can’t get him calmed down.”

“It’s not a problem, Liv. I can’t tell you how many times I called my mom or mother in law with my kids,” Izzy smiled as she sat with Noah and patted his back. Just then he let out a huge burp. “There we go! That’s all he needed.”

“I did that…”

“Sometimes there’s one still fighting to get out. When the twins were babies, RJ was very partial to Rafael. I had been trying and trying to burp him, nothing was happening. He just kept crying and I was crying cause I couldn’t soothe him. Rafael had just gotten home from work and takes him, which just that in itself half-way calmed him down but then not only did he finally burp, his dad and part of his $2000 was covered in breastmilk.”

Olivia needed that laugh. “I wish I would’ve known him back then.”

“I know he’s an ass when it comes to his job but he’s a good father and a good husband.”

“I’ve wanted to be a mother for so long and I know it’s only been a few days, but I already feel like I’m failing.”

“Every mother feels that way. You’ll be fine, Liv.”

“I’m scared out of my mind, Izz. When did you stop feeling that way?”

“Ask me when my kids graduate college and get good careers,” she laughed. “How’s Lucy working out so far?”

“She’s a godsend. Thank you so much for recommending her.”

“She’s worked back-up for Jonathan over the years and we love her. I knew she was wanting something full-time since she finished college but we can’t get rid of Jonathan. He’s been with us for so many years.”

“You ever think about adding anymore? I mean adopting?”

“I think we’re good,” Izzy smiled.

“I still think about when you first came to SVU. You’d get flowers just out of nowhere, you’d read the card, and this huge smile would come across your face. Then I finally worked with Barba and thought, no way,” Benson laughed as she rocked Noah. 

“So, any word on when Nick will be back?”

“None what’s so ever. I’ll be back next week, though. I’ve asked for another detective to pick up with slack with Nick being in patrol and you going to that conference in DC.”

“Do I really have to go that?”

“Tell Aunt Izzy she drew the short straw, Noah. Didn’t she?”

“Funny, Sarge.”

“It won’t be that bad.”

“Fin said it’s boring.”

“I won’t deny that but you and Fin are both my #2’s and the more information you have…”

“I get it. At least some of the CPD Intelligence Unit will be there so I won’t be too lonely.”  
___________________________________  
“Well, that was a colossal waste of time,” Dawson as he and Izzy grabbed a beer at their hotel bar while they waited on Olinsky to join them.

“I know these stats like I know my kids social security numbers.”

“So, how’s the family, Izz?”

“Good. How’s everything going with the divorce, Antonio?”

“Nothing’s been filed yet. Did you hear what Eva did?

“You know Erin told me,” Izzy laughed.

“I know she wants us back together but…Laura wants me to leave CPD. I just can’t do it. I mean what would you do if Rafael asked you to leave SVU?”

“I wouldn’t leave him.”

“I didn’t leave Laura. She left me.”

“I know, Dawson. She knew when you guys got together what you wanted to do.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“Ah, you two young pups trying to ditch me?” Alvin laughed when he found them.

“We wanted you to use your detective skills, Al. Make sure you’re still staying sharp.”

“Has he always been an ass, Izzy?”

“As long as I’ve known him.”

“Let’s go find something to eat, kids.”

“We’re almost 40, Al,” Antonio laughed. 

“Yeah, yeah, that’s nice. Come on, youngsters.”


	73. Chapter 73

“So he was stupid enough to open fire on Amanda and Fin and the underage hooker outside of the 116? Seriously?”

“Seriously, Izz. Little Tino is still maintaining he green-lit Ellie but he doesn’t have the juice.”

“So, they want us to know they're crazy,” a tall man with a mustache and heavy Staten Island accent said.

“You must be my new detective.” 

“Dominick Carisi, Jr. Call me Sonny. I brought zeppoli,” he said as he offered the bag to Liv and Izzy, who both politely declined. 

“I asked for an experienced, empathic detective and they sent you?”

“I'm way experienced. Sensitive and moody, too. And I can do that whole empathy thing.” 

“Where are you from?” Izzy asked him. 

“Staten Island SVU for two months, and Brooklyn for almost a month, and then Queens last week.” 

“So, they love you wherever you go, Carisi?” Liv chuckled. 

“Call me Sonny. I was supposed to start tomorrow, but I heard about the shooting over my scanner, so I came in. What's our read?” 

“The 116 had a witness of an open case. They took a shot at her,” Izzy started explaining.

Liv took Carisi to talk to the prostitute, Luna Garcia, Nick had picked up since he had been bumped down to patrol after the whole Simon Wilkes debacle.

More and more information was coming to light and more underaged girls were being found. A lot of them 14, 15 and already had babies.

“Izz?”

“Yeah, Sarge.”

“I need you to go with your husband to Attica to talk to Little Tino.”

“You think he’s willing to talk now?”

“He sees a DA, maybe.”

“You got it. I’m taking one of the SUV’s.”

“Fine with me,” Liv laughed. “Let me know if he…”

“I know the drill.”   
_______________________________________  
“Both these pimps used Quickride to transport the girls?” Rafael asked his wife as they waited on Little Tino to be brought to them. The trip to Attica was long and he mainly worked while she drove. 

“Paid for by a shell corporation. And so far, forensic accounts can't track it down.” 

“So why would Little Tino talk?” 

“Liv seems to think an ADA coming all the way to Attica might make him think he can get a deal.” 

“What do you want from me?” Tino asked as he sat down. 

“Your girls used Quickride. We just busted another house that used Quickride. It's the same question, Little Tino. Who's in charge here?” Izzy asked. 

“I'm already in jail for rape and murder. You can get me off from that?” 

“I'm here, aren't I?” Rafael said with a glare. 

“You cooperate, Witness Protection is one phone call away.” 

“If I talk, everybody's gonna know it's coming from me.” 

“No, they won't. You have cover now. We have the other house, we have the car service. We have a shooter in custody right now for trying to take out one of the working girls. Somebody's gonna give up your boss. You're the last person that they're thinking about,” Izzy told him. 

“But none of those witnesses talked yet? Doesn't that tell you something?”

“Who ordered Ellie killed?” 

“Why are you so worried about that dead whore? It worked out pretty good for your Sergeant.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“I heard she got a baby out of it.” 

“Where did you hear that?” Rafael asked him, growing more agitated. 

“She love that little baby?” 

“Are you stupid enough to threaten a Sergeant's family in front of a DA when he's offering you a deal?” Izzy could see the rage in her husband’s eyes.

“All I'm saying is, if I was you, I'd leave this alone. Some of your own guys are working against you,” he told them as he got up from the table.

“Somebody’s talking. I want you to call Liv now and tell her she needs to make sure Noah is safe.”

“Already on it, Raf.”

“And let’s find something to eat in this town.”  
________________________________  
Attica wasn’t Manhattan. There was the normal fast food places and a few diners.

They found a pizza place that looked decent enough and felt way over dressed in this small town.

“Did you want to head back today or find a room?” Rafael asked while they waited for their pizza.

“It’s already 3:00…an almost 6 hour drive?”

“We can leave first thing in the morning. Glad I thought to pack us some clothes,” he chuckled as he drank his water. “Is there no alcohol in this town?”

“Rafa?”

“What? You know you were thinking it, too.”

“I think I saw a liquor store on Main street when we came in.”

“Thank god. I got us a room booked not that far from here.”

Izzy could tell the waitress was being a little flirty with her husband when she sat their pizza down. She had to get her attention to get her diet coke refilled.

“Mi amor.”

“What? Is she blind? Does she not see your ring and mine?”

“Calm down,” he laughed as he took her hand. When the waitress came back with Izzy’s drink, she quickly sat it down and walked away, just as Rafael placed a kiss on wife’s hand. “Better?”

“Shut up.”

“What do you want to do after this?”

“Go to that room you booked and sleep?”

“Me, too.”

They took what pizza Izzy surprisingly didn’t finish and went to the hotel he had booked about 10 miles outside of Attica. It was actually really nice. There were a few restaurants and bars in the hotel. A drink did sound nice but they were both tired. 

He didn’t even bother getting out of his clothes other than his jacket, shoes and tie as he laid on the bed. Izzy laid her badge and gun on the table before she laid next to him. It wasn’t long before they were both asleep.

Their nap was short lived with a call from Amanda.

“You’re kidding me. Fuck. Well, it rains it pours. Lucy and Noah okay? Do we need to come back tonight? Okay. We’ll probably leave around 6 in the morning.”

“What happened,” Rafael asked as he yawned.

“Tino was shanked about two hours after we talked to him.”

“Shit.”

“Diego the guy that shot at Fin and Amanda, got a hot shot in the prison ward at Bellevue and Missy, one of the girls we found in the raid…”

“Dead?"

“Shot in the head and a john, too.”

“Somebody’s cleaning house.”

“Lucy and Noah were at Clinton Park and someone opened fire there.”

“Anyone hurt?”

“They think whoever it was just wanted to scare people. Liv has a detail on Noah and Lucy now.”

“We need to get back.”  
______________________________  
“Hey. Hello? Izzy? Detective Barba?”

“Huh? What is it?”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, Carisi. I’m fine.”

“I was gonna go grab a soda, you want anything?”

“Nah, I’m good. Thanks though.”

After going up the ladder, finding the pimp’s bottom, Selena and then the pimp had ordered all the hits, who turned out to be the owner of QuickRide, they cornered him at his house just as his wife and he were about to flee the country. Carisi and Izzy had interviewed him as Angel Martinez then his office was supposedly ransacked, at least that’s what he led them to believe.

Turned out his name was actually Teodoro Juarez and he had trafficked so many girls, kidnapped their babies and sent them to Mexico.

Izzy had him against his car while she started frisking him. 

“You know this is stupid, right? I know where you live. I know about that baby. From one parent to another, you don't want to do this,” he told Liv. 

“You threatening my sergeant's kid?” Izzy asked as she slammed against his car a little harder.

He ended up elbowing Izzy away and reached for his gun. Luckily, Fin was quick to shoot him, basically saving her life.

She had been close in her career to being shot and she kept thinking how he got the best of her. If it hadn’t been for Fin’s quick reflexes, there’s no telling what could’ve happened. She sat at her desk, playing it over and over again in her head. 

“It’s been a long day,” Liv told her, noticing her friend seemed out of focus. “Why don’t you get home to your kids?”

“Sure, Sarge,” she said with a small smile.

“Hey, don’t let what happened today get to you. That could’ve happened to me, Fin, even Nick if he had been there. It could’ve happened to Elliot.”

“You’re right.”

“Come on. Walk me out.”  
__________________________________  
All the kids were off to their first day of school. Cami was starting her eighth grade year at Tribeca Academy, Rory was going into the 7th grade, the twins were going to fourth grade and their baby was starting his first day of Kindergarten.

“You’ll be here when school’s over, right?”

“I will be today, Matty,” she told her son. “You’re gonna have a good day.”

“Promise, Mommy?”

“I promise.”

“Okay, cariño. We need to go,” Rafael whispered. 

“I know,” she said with tears in her eyes.

“Come on. Have a good day, mijo.”

“I will.”

“We love you.”

“I love you, too,” he told his parents as he hugged him.

“What do you say we go back home, get back in our pajamas and just relax?” Rafael asked his wife as he took her hand. “We can watch whatever you want.”

“That’s hard to say no to.”  
_______________________________  
“Basketball player Shakir Wilkins, America’s hero has been accused of raping 3 women now?” Amanda asked as they sat around the squad room.

“And Orion Bauer paid every one of them off,” Fin added.

“Izzy you and Amanda go talk to the third woman, Tiana Raines. Get her side of the story.”

“Copy that, Sarge.”

“You know, I never lost a dime when Shakir was playing,” Amanda told her as they walked to a squad car. 

“You miss it?”

“Sometimes but for the most part, I’m not broke these days.”

“That’s always a plus.”

“Sorry it took me so long to pay you back, by the way.”

“It’s no big deal.”

“I didn’t get you into too much trouble with Barba over it, I hope."

“Nah. He didn’t like that I kept it from him but that’s understandable. I should’ve told him before he had to see it on our bank statement. It’s not like he would’ve said so no. He’s let me loan Erin a grand before and he really doesn’t care for her.”

“What does that say about me?” Rollins laughed.

“He might like you a little more than Erin,” Izzy teased.

"Gee, that makes me feel so much better."  
_________________________________  
“She kept her panties and her dress which both had Shakir’s semen on them?” Rafael asked his wife and Rollins when they met with him, Shakir, and Rita Calhoun.

“She’s better than Monica Lewinsky,” Izzy popped off, earning a glare from Rita but a smirk of approval from her husband.

“When does she allege this took place?” Rita asked. 

“You were in her store for a march madness event, Mr. Wilkins,” Amanda answered. 

“I was everywhere for march madness.” 

“This was in the Sharkwear flagship store. Tiana took a selfie with you and your cutout. That's her, that's the dress,” Izzy said as she pulled out her phone to show Shakir and Rita the photos. 

“Okay, she met him.”

“Well, she says he did more than that, so we are going to need a DNA sample today, Mr. Wilkins,” Rafael responded. “You can go with the Detectives…”

“You mean your wife,” Rita interrupted.

“Like I said you can go with the Detectives to the ME’s office and do it now.”  
_____________________________  
“My dress was ripped, stained He raped me.” 

“And you didn't tell anyone?” 

“Look, I know I have to do this, but I had to take an express bus and a taxi to get here.” 

“Okay, we can reimburse you for that,” Izzy said as she and Rafael shared a look. 

“And that's it?” 

“Is everything all right, Tiana?” He asked as he took his feet down from the jury box where he was sitting. 

“I just…forget it. Just tell me what you and Mr. Bauer want me to say.” 

“We want you to say exactly what happened,” he told her. 

“Lemme look at what I said before, and I'll get it right.” 

“Okay, then, tell us,” Izzy started but was interrupted by her husband. 

“What did you mean when you said you'd say what Orion Bauer wanted you to say? Orion Bauer gave you a bonus to keep quiet about the initial complaint, isn't that right?” 

“A bonus. Uh-huh, right,” Tiana replied as she crossed her arms. 

“Are you saying he didn't make a payment? What?” He snapped when he noticed her looking him up and down. 

“How much is that suit? Two grand?” 

“I beg your pardon?”

“And that tie? Please, I work retail. You don't think I know?” 

“Okay, Tiana, what does that have to do with this?” 

“Oh, hello, white girl. Looks like he keeps you pretty in all that Prada you have on.”

“Tiana…” 

“Orion Bauer paid me half-assed what he paid those other girls.” 

“And how do you know this?” Izzy asked her. 

“I heard it on LMZ. Do you think I'm stupid? He paid them five grand. So maybe you call him and make it right, then I'll remember better.” 

“And he paid them for what? To keep quiet about the rape?” Rafael asked. 

“Please. All I know is, I got paid to say Shakir raped me.” 

“Are you saying Are you saying Shakir Wilkins did not rape you?” 

“I'm saying you get Mr. Bauer to give the right amount, the fair amount, I'll say whatever the two of you want me to say. Hell, I'll do you nasty like I did Shakir in that dressing room, but you got to man up, and pay up.”

“What did you just say to him?” Izzy said as she started for the witness stand before Rafael got in front of her and grabbed her.

“It’s not worth it, mi amor,” he whispered. “You can go, Tiana. I think we’re done here.”

She walked past Rafael but not before stopping and grabbing his tie lightly. “My offer stands. I know you’re good for it. I’m sure she can’t do you as nasty as I can.”

Izzy didn’t even think twice before she slapped the hell out of Tiana.

“Detective!! Ms. Raines you’re excused.”

________________________________

“You slapped a prosecution witness during trial prep?”

“Look, Tucker, she made a sexual advance at my husband, more than once. She obviously lied about what happened to her as it is, jeopardizing the whole case.”

“Captain Harris. What brings you here?”

“Making sure you’re not turning this into something worse than it actually was.”

“Your protégé physically assaulted a witness.”

“And the ADA testified that this so-called witness made sexual advances toward him, including but not limited to saying she would take money to have sex with him. Sounds like prostitution to me.”

“Well played, Harris and yes, we already moved with that angle with her lawyer.”

“So, what exactly is your next move with Detective Barba?”

“She’ll be on Administrative leave until this is cleared up with Ms. Raine’s lawyer.”

“Yeah, well, good luck. Her credibility’s already been shot with the Shakir Wilkins case.”

“Izzy let me handle this,” Steven told her. “But she’s right.”

“And we’re looking into that. When I get to the bottom of this, she’ll be the first to know.”

“Izzy why don’t you wait outside for me?”

“Sure, Captain.”

“Look, Tucker, you and I don’t get along. Never have. You know she was provoked.”

“Off the record, this is going to be nothing more than a suspension and rip in her jacket. We’ve already been in contact with the lawyer and as long as something is done, he’s not going to move forward with pressing charges. I think 2 weeks suspension, with pay, should suffice.”

“Wow. What’s with the change in your methods? You usually can’t wait to push for charges against a SVU detective.”

“Let’s just say, I’m in a good mood today.”  
___________________________________  
“You wanted to see me?” She asked as she popped her head in her husband’s office after her meeting at IAB.

“Heard Harris showed up and saved your ass,” he said as he looked at her stone faced with his arms crossed. He hadn't been very happy about the whole thing since it had happened two days before.

“He did actually. After your statement and mine, her lawyer was told she could be charged with prostitution or something.”

“What possessed you…”

“I really have no idea, Rafa. I don’t know what came over me, honestly. The way she ran your tie through your fingers and then said that again…I just snapped. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he told as his face softened. “It was kind of a hot.”

“What do you mean?”

“You…defending my honor.”

“Hush,” she giggled as her cheeks turned pink.

“It was. You didn’t even to do that to that girl I was tutoring our Junior year of college when she kissed me.”

“I know, huh? I should look her up and pay her a visit.”

“Mi amor,” he started as he laughed.

“I am gonna go home and start my suspension.”

“At least you’re getting paid.”

“That’s true. Any requests for dinner?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“Uh-huh.”

“That really did turn you on.”

“I never believed it when your brother said girl fights were hot but watching you slap the shit out of someone propositioning me, I believe it.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“And we’ve been together how long?”

“Too long. I’m going home.”

“Okay. I’ll see you this evening sometime. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”


	74. Chapter 74

Rafael walked into his house to hear DMX’s “Party Up” coming from the kitchen. He knew that could only mean one thing.

“What have you done to your mother now,” he asked as Cami and Rory stormed passed him.

“Nothing.”

“Liar!” Rory screamed at her sister.

“You’re the liar, Rory!”

“Can’t I come home just one evening without you two at each other’s throats?”

“She stole my pink sweater.”

“I did not! I wouldn’t wear that ugly thing if you paid me!”

“You’re just jealous cause you haven’t developed enough yet to wear it!”

“At least I don’t lie about what’s in my bra!”

“Okay! Enough! Aurora do you have your sister’s sweater?”

“No, Daddy.”

“Then where is it?” Cami asked as she crossed her arms.

“How can you find anything in that demilitarized zone you call a room?! How many times do you have to be grounded to get it?! Part of your weekly chores is to clean your room, yet it hasn’t been done in two weeks, Camila.”

“Fine. I’ll go clean my room.”

“You got cheerleader try-outs in two weeks, right?”

“Yeah,” the blond said as she rolled her eyes.

“I don’t think your mother has signed the permission slip yet.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Have you ever known me to be any different? If you clean your room, you might find this sweater that you apparently can’t live without, and when you do, you owe your sister an apology.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“I said knock it off!!”

“Oh, now what?” He muttered when he could hear his twins arguing. “Have you all lost your minds because apparently your mother has.”

“Ella won’t stop teasing me.”

“About what?”

“Britney kissed him after he gave her his twinkie.”

“His what?!”

“Mom packed a twinkie in my lunch and I didn’t want it.”

“So, he gave it to his girlfriend,” Ella teased as she made kissing noises. “What did you think I meant, Dad?”

“Nothing! Leave your brother alone!”

“And she’s not my girlfriend.”

“Okay, look Rafella, stop teasing your brother. The two have an hour before dinner is ready. Is all your homework done?”

“Yes, sir,” they replied in unison.

“Okay. You two have got to stop doing that. How about an hour of screen time right now if you two will just leave each other alone?”

“Okay,” Ella shrugged.

“Works for me,” RJ agreed.  
_______________________________  
After breaking up now two arguments after arguing in court all day, he went to check on his wife, who was still serving her suspension.

“Hola, mi amor.”

“Hey.”

“Heard your theme song when I came in.”

“Since they got home, they’ve all be arguing. Matty turned on his iPad and put on his headphones to drown them out.”

“Can’t say I blame you.”

“How did court go today?”

“Well, dash cam proved Nick arrested Tensley by the book so that shot her credibility. Then there’s the 15-year-old she fellated at the rehab center and she’s 24 as you know. Exley claimed she was under emotional duress and needs a psychological eval.”

“Tell me the judge didn’t fall for it.”

“Oh, no, Judge Catano is allowing it.”

“Jesus. Other than that, how was your day?”

“Okay,” he shrugged. “I see you rearranged the living room today.”

“I’m bored out of my mind, Rafa.”

“How about I do something to change that after the kids go to bed?” He asked as he grabbed her by waist, pulling her into his chest, causing a slight hitch in her breath at his grip.

“Uh…ye-yeah.”

“Maybe I’ll get you undressed…”

“Yeah?”

“Give you a massage, get you relaxed, and then…” he didn’t finish before his lips melded to hers.

“And then?”

“Have my way with you…gently.”

“I’d…um…yeah, I’d like that.”

“Good. I’m gonna go check on our baby and see if he’s still hunkered down, praying for daylight.”  
_____________________________  
“Raf…”

“You okay? I’m not being too rough, am I?”

“No. You’re just getting me so relaxed I might fall asleep.”

“I know how to wake you up,” he said as he bent down and kissed the back of neck, inhaling the smell of coconut that covered his wife. He got off her and laid on his side next to her as she rolled onto her side to face him. He started kissing her neck from the front as her hand traveled through his hair. “Rollover,” he whispered.

“On my back?”

“On your other side.”

He moved her blond hair aside as he started back on her neck, then worked his way down her back, slowly. As he moved back up, he placed small bites, very small ones at that while his hand made it’s way to her already dripping center. 

“You wanting me that bad, mi amor?”

“Yes, Rafa,” she moaned.

He got closer to her, wrapping her leg around his so he could take her while they laid on their sides. He moved slowly in and out of her, one arm wrapped around her upper body while his other hand held her hips. 

“Mmmm, yeah, just like that. Keep going,” she moaned.

She reached around and grabbed his neck as he kept going, getting her closer and closer before sending her over the edge. Her entire body tingled from the orgasm. 

“Another?”

“You need another one?”

“Y-yes.”

“I think I can do that,” he told her as he pushed her upper body forward a little bit so he could pick up his pace. “I don’t if I can keep going, cariño.”

“I’m…almost…just a little longer, Raf.”

“I’m…trying,” he moaned.

That second one hit her even harder than the first, her walls feeling like a vice against his dick, causing him to moan loudly as he emptied himself into his wife. He rested his head on her back as they both came down before he pulled out and rolled onto his back.  
_____________________________  
“About time you got back to work, shorty. Somebody needs to line the counselor out,” Fin laughed.

“He couldn’t have been that bad while I was gone.”

“No, he was worse,” Liv laughed.

“Yeah, Carisi suggested one of us call you one day to go take care of him one afternoon, if you know what I mean?”

“I did not, Nick,” Carisi said as he blushed.

“Don’t lie, Carisi,” Amanda laughed. “Barba came in here, bitching at you and you said, ‘I’m gonna call Izzy and see if she can come service her husband so he’ll get off my back for once’.”

“Well, he was on my ass.”

“I heard all about it, Carisi. Glad to see I’m working with a normal person and not John Holmes. Well, normal maybe stretching it.”

“Gee, thanks. And I was only kidding, Izzy, when I said that about you servicing Barba.”

“It’s fine, Carisi.”

“Yeah, it’s not like she hasn’t done it before,” Nick laughed.

“Amaro!”

“What? I just hope Carmen gets paid well cause you know she hears you guys.”

“We’re always quiet…I mean…”

“BUSTED!!!” Liv, Fin, and Amanda all said.

“Oh, whatever. Yes, okay, we have done it in his office…a couple of times. You all can’t that be surprised.”

“How you guys don’t have more kids…”

“Carisi…” Fin said as he shook his head signaling him not to go any further.

“It’s fine, Fin. We actually did plan on having more but I had to have an emergency hysterectomy right after our youngest was born.” 

“Sorry, I didn’t know.”

“How could you? It’s no big deal.”

“Still, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry so much, Carisi,” Izzy assured him. 

He just sort of nodded as he turned his chair back to his desk.


	75. Chapter 75

“Hey,” Izzy said quietly as pushed her husband’s hair back. During their latest case, in which retired football star AJ Martin had knocked his wife Paula out in a stairwell, Rafael had been having terrible nightmares for some reason and after one in which he had kicked the hell out of Izzy, he moved to the guestroom.

“Hey,” he smiled.

“How did you sleep last night?”

“About the same,” he shrugged.

“What’s going on?”

“It’s nothing. Just…”

“Rafa come on.”

“I’ve been having these nightmares…about my childhood.”

“Oh.”

“Last night, for example. It was like a movie of every time my dad hit my mother when I was a kid. Not a teenager, a kid. I was just standing there watching my child self watch it happen and I couldn’t do anything about it.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she laid beside him.

“When you told me how AJ screamed at his son when you and Fin went to talk to them…it all started that night.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I just kept thinking they would stop but the further we go into this case, the worse they’ve gotten. Things that I haven’t thought about in 30 years. And I have to be in court in two hours to question Paula.”

“Go take your shower and I’ll make you some breakfast.”  
_________________________________________  
“Hey, Mom?”

“Yeah, Rory?”

“You and Dad okay?”

“Of course, we are,” Izzy told her daughter as she made breakfast.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Cami. Girls where’s these questions coming from?”

“We’ve noticed Dad has been sleeping in the guestroom. That’s not usually a good sign.”

“It’s nothing to do with us. I promise.”

“Then what is it?”

“Okay, before your younger sister and brothers get in here, I’ll tell you. When your dad was growing up, your grandfather used to beat him and Abuelita.”

“What?” Rory asked as tears filled her eyes.

“Yeah.”

“But, he always...he was nice to us.”

“He was an alcoholic when your dad was growing up. Your father actually didn’t let him meet Cami until she was 1. He hated your grandfather.”

“They always seemed to get along when we were kids.”

“Yeah, Cami but that was mainly for you guys. He didn’t want all of that stuff being put on to you guys.”

“But why is he in the guest room?” Rory asked again.

“Well, this case he’s got, he’s been having a lot of bad dreams, and after he kicked me in the middle of one, he decided to move in there until those stop.”

“What if they don’t?”

“Then, we’ll figure it out. Now, go eat your breakfast, girls.”

“Yes, ma’am.”  
_______________________________________  
“The house looks beautiful.”

“Thanks, Rollins. Glad you could make it,” Izzy said as Amanda and Nick walked in for their Christmas party.

“Of course. Thanks for inviting me. This sure beats having the party at the office.”

“Oh, your boyfriend from the morgue is here.”

“What?”

“I’m kidding,” Izzy laughed. “Come on you two.”

“I can hear Carisi already.”

“Yes, please go save my husband, Nick. He was telling Rafael something about that last case and then I hear ‘boo-yah, Fordham law’.”

“I’m on it,” Nick laughed.

“So, you guys okay?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t we be?”

“After everything with Paula Martin…”

“We’re good, Izz. I mean, it’s never been anything serious.”

“Okay. Well, Liv and Noah are here, Fin, Melinda, Munch has stopped by even. Of course, you know my brother and my parents.”

“Dodds is here?”

“Yeah. I was shocked that he showed up, too. Erin and Halstead should be arriving any time. Go on. Fix yourself a drink.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Amanda laughed.

Everyone chatted, ate the snacks Izzy had made, had drinks.

Noah had started getting fussy so Liv decided to take him home right before Lucia and Lina showed up. Of course, the kids were all over their great-grandmother when she came in.

“Detective I don’t think you’ve introduced me to this charming woman.”

“Uh, sorry. Chief William Dodds, this is my mother-in-law, Lucia Barba.”

“It certainly is a pleasure, Mrs. Barba.”

“Lucia please,” she smiled an almost school girl giggle.

“Will your husband be joining you?”

“I’m widowed, actually.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Dodds told her with an apologetic smile. “I’m divorced myself.”

“Pity.”

“You know…I think…yeah,” Izzy said as she walked away and over to her husband.

“You okay, mi amor,” he asked as he put his arm around her.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“So, shall we make our announcement now?”

“I feel bad since Liv had to go.”

“You can ask her tomorrow.”

“You’re right.”

“Go get your present.”

She smiled as she went to their bedroom to get the Christmas present he had given her that morning.  
___________________________________  
Everyone got quiet when Rafael asked them to. “So, in March, my beautiful wife and I will be celebrating our 15th anniversary.”

“15 long years,” Tony joked.

“Yes, especially being related to you. Anyways, as most of you know, we had been planning a wedding for December 2000 but because of a lot of headaches from both of our parents, we basically eloped on my Spring Break in Puerto Rico. This morning, I asked this wonderful woman if she would give me 15 more years.”

“Awww.”

“And this time, we’re not running off with some friends and…Tony. We’re going to do it the right way, so my father in law can walk his daughter down the aisle.”

Anthony couldn’t help but tear up as everyone offered congratulations.

“And also, we’d like for our extended family to be part of that day as well.”

“That means I’m maid of honor again.”

“Actually, Erin, I was going to ask that Amanda does it this time,” Izzy told her.

Erin between Izzy and Amanda before smiling. “Yeah, she can deal with your high maintenance ass this time.”

“I still want you and Liv as well to stand with me.”

“Of course.”

“I’m still best man, though.”

“Tony…”

“You want Nick this time, huh?”

“We are trying to change things up a little bit. You and…Carisi will be right next to him.”

“Me? Really?”

“Easy, Carisi. Thank your partner for that,” Rafael chuckled at Carisi’s excitement.


	76. Chapter 76

“Your dad said no so there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“But, Mom…”

“Sorry, Camila. He was not impressed with Gabriel when he came to dinner.”

“He acts like I want to marry him. It’s just a dance.”

“Is that all you do is whine? It’s annoying.”

“Boys don’t even like you, Rory.”

“How would you know?”

“Girls stop! When your dad makes a decision, it’s final. End of story.”

“Do, I still have to go to Bibi’s…”

“Yes, you do. She still hasn’t been feeling well. Just go over there, spend the day with her, help her around the house, Cami.”

“Am I being punished for something?”

“Do you know lucky you are to still have a great-grandparent in your life? I have no grandparents anymore.”

“I know, Mom.”

“You do remember that she babysat you for us…”

“Yeah, I know. It’ll be fun. She always has stories about Dad.”

“See? There’s always a silver lining.”  
___________________________________  
Izzy was busy at her desk when her actual desk phone rang. “SVU. Detective Barba.”

“Is there a reason you’re not answering your cell?” Rafael sounded angry when he asked.

“Uh, sorry, I was in a meeting with Liv and the Chief and had it on silent. What’s wrong?”

“It’s Abuelita.”

“Is everything okay?”

“She fell.”

“Oh my god. Is she okay?”

“The doctors say it’s a small fracture, so she won’t need surgery. Thank god our daughter was there. She had enough sense to call 911, then Mami, then me, and we’ve both tried to get ahold of you.”

“Okay, let me tell Liv and I’ll be at the hospital as soon as I can.”

She got to Our Lady of Mercy Hospital in the Bronx and found her husband and daughter.

“Mom, I was so scared,” Cami said as she threw her arms around her. 

“Okay. Shh. Okay. I got you,” she just held her oldest daughter while she cried. 

Lucia came out of the room after talking to the doctor. 

“Well?”

“She’s going to be here for a week or two at least. Then a month of rehab. Cami, you did so good getting your Bisabuela help. I am so proud of you.”

“Thanks, Abuelita.” 

“Why don’t you guys take her home? I’m gonna get Mama a few things and come back for a few hours,” Lucia told them.  
_________________________________  
“So that toy box is just what, decorative?” Rafael joked as he walked into Liv’s apartment.

“Funny. Here, can you hold him for a second?” She asked as she handed Noah to him. He practically held him like he was a bomb.

“You okay, Barba? He doesn’t bite,” she laughed.

“Uh, yeah.”

“You have 5 kids of your own. I’m sure you held them when they were that age.”

“Yeah and in my time, I’ve had every bodily fluid hit me. Pee, puke, poop. This is a brand new Armani suit.”

She just laughed as she took Noah back from him. 

"Now, you said you wanted to talk to me about something but not in the office?”

Liv found out, one of the biggest traffickers on the East Coast, Johnny D whom they arrested on Super Bowl Sunday, was Noah’s biological father. She wanted to know it that had to be disclosed.  
__________________________________  
Pulitzer Prize winning novelist Walter Briggs daughters came in alleging their father was being raped by his 45-year-old wife Charmaine as he was nearly 80 and they felt he was unable to give consent. Liv sent Izzy and Carisi to talk to Mr. and Mrs. Briggs. 

“Walter and I don't keep secrets from each other, do we, Walter?” 

“Not really, no. I humor her,” he said as he winked at Izzy. 

“So, what exactly did you want to talk about?” Charmaine asked. 

“It's pretty personal. Pertaining to your sex life,” Carisi told her. 

“And that's a police matter?” 

“79 and stiff as a varnished eel,” Mr. Briggs told them. 

“A varnished eel?” Carisi repeated with a chuckle.

“My third wife took up with a bartender because I got distracted by my book on the pope. Now, you spend six months in the Vatican, and you'll see what happens to your testicles.” 

He was quiet charming to say the least. 

"Roman Follies". It was a wonderful book, sir. I read it in college,” Carisi told him.

“Thank you.” 

“All of his books are wonderful.” 

“Okay, so Mr. Briggs, you're happy to keep your wife satisfied?” 

“Well, of course I am. I mean, just look at her. I noticed that ring on your finger, detective. You’re very pretty yourself. I hope your husband performs his manly duties as well.”

Izzy kind of chuckled from the embarrassment, especially when Walter winked at her again.   
________________________________  
Mr. Briggs suffered a heart attack but Charmaine took him out of the hospital AMA.

“We have checked every hospital in Manhattan. There is no sign of Briggs,” Liv told Barba as she and Izzy met him outside of his office. 

“It's not kidnapping. She's his wife. She has the right to take him out of the hospital.” 

“Even against medical advice? Ripping hospital equipment out of the wall?” Izzy asked. 

“Want me to file a larceny charge on the IV pump?” Rafael snorted. 

“His daughter's got a court order to visit him. Charmaine's in violation.” 

“Has she denied them access?” 

“They don't know where he is,” Liv answered. 

“So, no.” 

“She's endangering her husband's life. The doctors made that clear.” 

“Yeah, plus the rape and assault charges are still under investigation,” Izzy mentioned. 

“Barely. One of them's a stretch, the other one's a chasm.” 

“This is a sick old man getting dragged across the city.” 

“Well, we're not social workers.” 

“But we are cops, and we can keep investigating,” Liv responded. 

“Knock yourselves out.” 

“We will. Let’s go, Izz.”

“Actually, I need to talk to my wife, Sergeant.”

“I’ll catch up, Liv. What’s up, Raf?”

“The hospital released Abuelita.”

“What?”

“Yeah. I was talking to Mami before I met you two.”

“Is she not gonna go to the rehab?”

“I don’t know. She can’t take care of herself.”

“You want me to take some time off…”

“No, no. Something else is going to have to be done. I’m gonna go see her later.”

“Okay.”  
______________________________________  
“Mami, I just don't understand why she doesn't go to rehab.” 

“'Cause she doesn't want to go to rehab. The doctors have all argued with her. They are done. Do you want to argue with her?” Lucia asked as she met Rafael at Lina’s building. 

“Yeah, I do. Let me carry one of those bags.” 

“Wait, wait there's eggs in that one.” 

“Don't worry, I think I can handle it. So, is this the plan? Huh? You're gonna work for and then come here and do her pills, bring her groceries.” 

“I'm her daughter. And the stairs are hard for her.” 

“Yeah, that's why she should live in an elevator building.” 

“I don't mind, and she loves it here.” 

“You can have the groceries delivered.” 

“This is the Bronx, darling. This is not Park Avenue, remember?” 

“How could I forget?” 

“Mama? It's me.” 

Lina’s face lit up when she saw her only grandson walk in behind his mother. “I see you brought El Juez.”

“Abuelita, I'm not a judge.” 

“You will be. Where are my great-grandchildren?”

“Doing homework, I would assume. I haven’t been home yet.”

“I see. So, what brings you over here?”  
____________________________________  
“Can we go see Bibi this weekend?” RJ asked after dinner a couple of nights later.

“Uh, yeah. I think she’d like that,” Rafael said with a half-smile. “You kids need to get your showers and get ready for bed though.”

“So? How’d it go today?” Izzy asked as they cleaned up the kitchen.

“Ugh, she’s still giving me grief about moving her out of that walk-up deathtrap she somehow confused with Shangri-La. She’s lived there since I was born. She should’ve known that one day…”

“Hey, listen to me, you are a good grand-son.”

“No, I’m not. I’m overcompensating. What are you going to be doing when you’re 85?”

“Squabbling with you?” She said with a smile.

“Wouldn’t that be nice? You and me, fighting over how loud the TV is?” He made himself and Izzy laugh, which he really needed.

“Or scrabble words.”

“I still maintain you cheated,” he chuckled.

“I looked it up right in front of you.”

“Whatever…cheater.”

“Stop being a sore loser, Rafa.”

“Something’s gonna be sore later.”

“Is that a promise?”

“I’m beginning to think you like it when I take control like that.”

“Sometimes,” she shrugged.   
____________________________________  
Lina passed away on a snowy day in February 2015. Lucia found her in her bed. From what they could tell, she died peacefully in her sleep. 

“Dad?”

“Yeah, RJ?”

“A little help,” he asked as he held up his tie.

“Sure, give it to me.”

“I almost had it.”

“You’ll get there. You’ll have to. What are you going to do when I’m gone?”

“Wear clip ons?”

“Oh, no. No son of mine better not ever be caught with a clip-on tie. I’ve taught you to dress better than that. Here,” he said as he handed the tie back to his son.

“Thanks,” RJ told him as he gave him a hug, which took Rafael by surprise a little. “I love you, Dad.”

“I love you, too, mijo. Go finish getting ready.”  
_______________________________________  
The day of funeral there was a light snow falling. Rafael remained stoic during the service and burial. They went back to Lucia's for a few hours. They were very shocked when the Chief showed up but didn't say anything.

"The kids are tired. Get them home."�

"Mami..."�

"Izzy, I'll be fine. I just want you to do me one favor."  
�  
"Anything."�

"Make my son stop blaming himself. It was her time. She wanted to die in her own home and she did. He was the light of her life and she wouldn't want him blaming himself. You know that as well as I do."

"I'll do my best, Mami. I promise. I'll call you tomorrow."  
�  
Rafael came back from getting Matteo out of his childhood bedroom which Lucia had redone once her grandchildren started coming.

"Are you ready?"�

"Yeah,"� Izzy said as she helped Ella with her coat.

"Love you, Mami," he said as he hugged Lucia.

"I love you. Get some rest."�  
_________________________  
They got home and got the kids ready for bed. Rafael found Cami in her room bawling. "Hey, hey. It's okay," he said as he took her in his arms. 

"I just can't believe she's gone."�

"I know, princesa."� 

"Will I ever stop crying?"

"One day. There's no time limit on how long you're supposed to grieve when someone you love dies."�

"Why haven't you cried?"� 

"I guess I'm afraid if I start, I'll never stop."  
�   
"I feel like I never will."� 

"You and your bisabuela were incredibly close, mija. You know she took care of you nearly every day when you were a baby. She would take the subway every day from the Bronx to Brooklyn just to take care of you for us while we worked. She's the one that taught you your first words in Spanish, too. You crawled for her first, you walked for her first,"� as he thought back on the memories, tears filled his eyes and his voice cracked.

"It's okay to cry, Dad."�

It was as if he was waiting for permission because once Cami said that, the tears instantly fell. He sat there holding his oldest daughter as they both cried. Izzy had went looking for him and when she found him, she decided not to interrupt.  
___________________________________________

“He’s been doing this all week,” Izzy told Nick in tears over the phone. “I know he’s taking his Abuelita’s death hard but he comes in, reeking of alcohol, stumbling around. I don’t see how he’s functioning at work.”

“Look, Tony and I both tried to get him to leave but he’s not budging. You want me to come watch the kids and you can try?”

“No. I’ve got one more person I can call that he might listen to.”

About an hour later, Anthony showed up, with a drunk Rafael.

“I believe this belongs to you.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“No problem. Your mom said…”

“Yeah, I got Matty’s stuff packed.”

“He’s just grieving. Let him sleep this off and maybe get some actual rest. Tomorrow’s a new day.”

“Okay. Matty? Pop-Pop's here to take you to Brooklyn for a day or two.”

“Will Daddy be okay?”

“Yeah, baby. He’s just having a hard time right now. He needs some rest more than anything.”

“Okay.”  
____________________________________  
Izzy thought she’d find Rafael in their bed but he wasn’t there. She saw the light on in his home office and found him sitting on his desk, with another drink in his hand.

“Rafa what are you doing?”

“Just me alone,” he told her as he took another drink.

“I can’t just stand by and watch you self-destruct like this. I’m worried.”

“How about you don’t worry about me?! Hmm?! I’m a fucking grown man and I really don’t give a fuck what you think!” He was maybe two inches from her face, eyes were black as he said that. 

She just decided to back away and leave him alone. She barely got out of his office when she heard what she was sure glass shattering against his office wall and the loudest sob she’d ever heard from him. She ran back in to find him just sitting in the floor as he held his hand over his eyes.

“I did it.”

“What?”

“I killed her. It’s my fault. She died hating me.”

“Baby no…”

“I was making her move out of her home. I was forcing her out. Mami blames me, too.”

“Shhh,” she whispered as she sat on her knees while she held him. Like with his dad, she just let him cry it out. She didn’t keep track of the time but she knew it had to have been at least an hour. He didn’t speak, he just cried. It seemed he had finally worn himself out so Izzy helped him to their room, leaving the shattered glass to be cleaned later.

She got a wet rag and wiped his face after helping him into his pajamas. “I’m sorry for yelling at you,” he told her as he cuddled up to his wife. She rolled over and snuggled into his chest. 

“It’s already a new day, baby. Get some rest,” she said as she leaned up and kissed his cheek.


	77. Chapter 77

“So, everything is in place?”

“Yes, babe,” Izzy told her husband as they laid in bed one night. “March 28th, we will be married again.”

“And you’re serious about this whole celibacy thing?”

“That’s what we had originally planned, wasn’t it?”

“Hey, we didn’t have sex for two days before we got married in Puerto Rico.”

“Oohhh, two whole days. Big deal,” she mocked.

“Hey, it was a big deal back then. We were only getting it on the weekends as it was.”

“Will you hush?” She laughed.

“Ugh, fine.”

“I think you’ll live. It’s only a few weeks away.”

“I suppose.”

“Go back to your book.”

“What time’s Matty’s appointment tomorrow?”

“1.”

“I hope he’s not getting the flu.”

“You and me both.”

“So, are you just taking the entire day off?”

“I’m gonna go in the morning for a little bit anyways.”  
_______________________________  
“So, a group of kids from Tribeca Academy went off campus today for lunch and had a rainbow party,” Liv said after gathering the squad, minus Izzy who still had Matteo at the doctor. 

“A rainbow party? They're still having those? I thought they were a suburban myth,” Amanda said. 

“Yeah, well, apparently not. Explicit photos were taken, and then they went viral at the school, so we've got a lot of kids, panicking parents,” Liv replied. 

“Did I miss an episode of Girls? Remind me what a rainbow party is.” 

“Remind you, Nick? It's when, um, when girls wear different shades of lipstick and they take turns on the guys,” Amanda told him. 

“Yeah, the first guy to get every color of the rainbow, he wins,” Carisi added. 

“Come on. We'll brief each other in the car, guys. Let's go,” Liv told them.

“Wait. Tribeca Academy? That’s where Cami goes to school,” Nick mentioned.

“Call Izzy and see where she is and have her meet us there,” Liv instructed.

“I'm never having kids,” Rollins said as they got in the elevator.

She was still at the doctor’s office while the squad was at the school.  
______________________________________________  
“Hey, Sarge,” Nick whispered as she was talking to Gabriel Dole and his step-mother Colleen.

“Uh, yes, Nick?”

“I need you to see something.”

“Excuse me for just a minute,” she told them as she got up from the table.

“A few of the pictures…Cami’s in them.”

“Lovely. Have you talked to Izzy at all?”

“She said the doctor was running behind.”

“I do not want to have to break this to her and Barba.”

“We have to.”

“You and I will do it, Nick. Tell her to meet us at his office in an hour.”

“Copy that, Sarge.”  
__________________________________  
“How’s he feeling?” Rafael asked when Izzy came in his office with Matty.

“He’s got strep and an ear infection.”

“Come here, mijo,” he said as he took 6-year-old son from his wife. 

“Daddy my throat and ear hurts.”

“I know they do, buddy. You want to sit with me while we wait on Uncle Nick and Aunt Liv?”

“Yeah. Is Jonathan coming?”

“Mi amor?”

“He’ll be here in about 20 minutes,” she told her husband.

“He’ll come and take you home in a little bit. Okay?”

“Okay.”

He sat in his chair behind his desk and kissed the top of his son’s head.

“Do you know why Nick and Liv wanted to meet us here?”

“No idea, cariño. Nick called and said your squad caught a case and they wanted to talk to us personally.”

“I’m here,” Jonathan said as he came in.

“Thank you, Jonathan.”

“No problem. I’ll get this little guy home and we can start getting him better.”

“Mommy and Daddy will be home as soon as we can, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy.”

They kissed him good-bye and waited for Nick and Liv.  
________________________________  
“You two finally decide to show up?” Rafael scoffed when they finally walked in. “What fresh hell are you bringing me?”  
Nick and Liv just sort of looked at each other.

“Wha-are we missing something here?”

Nick explained about the off-campus rainbow party.

“And this has what to do with me and my wife? Cami wasn’t there.”

Nick handed over the photos showing their daughter with a bright pink lipstick on her lips and half dressed.

“Our daughter…participated in this?”

“Yeah, counselor,” Nick replied reluctantly.

“Check her out of school, now,” he instructed his wife.  
_________________________________

“Can you explain to me just what in the hell possessed you to go off campus and be involved in that party?”

“Daddy…”

“Don’t ‘daddy’ me. I want an explanation and I want it now, young lady!”

“Gabriel invited me.”

“Gabriel Dole? Who we told you you could not date?”

“He’s only a year older than me.”

“And he’s an entitled little prick! We are the parents! You are the child. We tell you no, that’s exactly what we mean.”

“It was just a stupid party.”

“You’re damn right it was stupid. It just cost you your freedom and your phone.”

“Mom.”

“You heard your father. Give it to him.”

“Jonathan knows you are not allowed to leave the house, use your iPad, or your laptop. We have to go back to work.”  
_____________________________________  
“Nine teenagers alone in a $10 million loft in Tribeca. What could possibly go wrong?” Rafael scoffed as he looked at the pictures Carisi and Amanda had put on the cork board in one of the conference rooms in his building; not before taking down the pictures of his daughter in compromising positions.

“Well, they got drunk and high. Stripped down and had an oral sex competition. They used different shades of lipstick.”

“Yeah, I get it, Carisi,” he snapped. “No teachers? They're all minors?” 

“Ranging in age from 14 to 16. No one's claiming coercion. Since no minor engaged in sexual activity with anybody over 18, I don't see statutory,” Carisi added. 

“You don't? Not your call. But you're right. The bigger issue is these photos. How explicit do they get?”

“Well, help yourself. Here,” he said as he handed Barba his tablet. 

“Okay. Huh. You realize that just showing me these could be considered a federal crime?” 

“Seriously?” 

“Quite. Get the pictures of my daughter off of there this instant. How viral has this gone?” 

“In the school, pretty far.” 

“Email? Text? Social media?” 

“We're not sure. Parents circled their wagons. They brought up right to privacy issues.” 

“I'm sure they did, but we gotta track these images down and remove them from the internet.” 

“Awesome idea,” Amanda said with a hint of snark. “How do we do that?”

“Contact trace it. You said these photos have been shared with every student in the school? Confiscate every kid's phone. Go from there.” 

“Every phone? Okay, why not call NSA, get them to tap their parents while we're at it?” 

“Easy, Citizen Four, we're not wiretapping,” he told Carisi, “But we have got to protect these kids. With facial recognition, Geo-tagging, photo tagging, there could be pornographers and predators honing in on them now.” 

“You want to explain that to the parents?” 

“That's your job. Have fun. I can make it a little easier for you, though.”

“How’s that?” Rollins asked.

“Cami’s phone,” he said as he slid the white iPhone across the table to her. “Passcode is 1213. Her mother will get you her passwords to her social media accounts.”

“Copy that, Counselor.”  
______________________________________  
Dinner was eaten in silence that night, the younger kids didn’t really know what was going on other than Cami was dating a boy behind her parents’ back and she was in trouble. After the table was cleared and the kitchen cleaned, Izzy went looking for her husband. He was in his home office upstairs with Matt.

“I’m telling you, Matty, I’m this close to leaving you everything because I swear your sister is trying to kill me.”

“She’s in a lot of trouble, huh?”

“Yes, she is. Please remember to always tell me and Mommy the truth.”

“Okay.”

“Why don’t you go get ready for bed? Your fever seems to have gone down.”

“What are you going to read to me tonight?”

“What do you want me to read?”

“The Stinky Cheese Man.”

“Again?”

“I love that story, Daddy.”

“Okay. I’ll be in there in a little bit,” he laughed. It was the first time he had laughed all day.   
________________________________  
“Just tell your Aunt Amanda and Uncle Nick the truth about the party, Camila Luciana,” Rafael told her as they sat at the precinct the next morning.

She started telling what went on which corroborated with the other party goers accounts. The more she talked, the angrier Rafael became.

“Okay, I think that’s all we need, Cami. Your phone’s already been checked so you can have it back.”

“I don’t think so,” Rafael said as he grabbed it from Amanda and handed it to his wife.

“I’ll leave you guys alone,” Amanda said quietly. Nick felt it be a little more awkward than it already was if he got up and left as well.

The room was filled with a thunderous silence as Rafael stewed on the details he had heard from his daughter. She was only 14 and engaging in sexual games. 

“Dad say something.”

He looked at his daughter and got up and walked out. Nick followed him out knowing his longtime friend was doing his best to keep his anger under control.

Cami sat in the chair and started crying. “Can’t you talk to him, Mom?”

“Camila what do you expect? He had to see half naked pictures of his daughter that have went viral on the internet, by the way, and had to listen while you talked about giving Gabriel and Leo blow jobs, building a great reputation for yourself in the process. You think he’s happy? Did you see your Uncle Nick’s face, too? Get up.”

“Where are we going?”

“Just get up.”  
_________________________________  
They got into one of police issued SUV’s parked out in front of the precinct. Izzy didn’t speak as she to the NYPD Rodman’s Neck Outdoor shooting range in the Bronx.

“What are we doing here?”

“Just get out.”

“Detective Barba. Haven’t seen you around here in a while,” one of the Sergeants said when she walked up.

“Need to sharpen my skills with my Beretta. Been using my Glock too much.”

“This your daughter?”

“My oldest, Camila. She’ll be behind the glass.”

“Yes, ma’am. You need a target?”

“Nope. I have one,” she said as she pulled out her daughters phone.

“Mom you can’t be serious.”

“Go with Sergeant Wheeler.”

“Mom.”

“Now.”

She grabbed the safety glasses and ear muffs, handed the phone to one of the training officers to set it up. She loaded her 9mm, set her aim, and in one shot, completely destroyed the iPhone. The officer picked up what pieces he could find and put them in an evidence bag. Cami just looked on in tears.

“Think you’re as sharp as ever,” Wheeler chuckled.

“I do what I can. Well, thanks boys. Let’s go, Camila. Here’s your phone.”  
_________________________________  
The silence in the SUV was deafening so Izzy turned on some RUN D.M.C to help change her mood as they drove to 1 Hogan Place.

They walked up the stairs to be met by Jack McCoy.

“The always beautiful Detective and Camila Barba,” he smiled.

“Hey, Jack.”

“To what do we owe the honor?”

“Just coming to visit my husband for a minute.”

“Somebody doesn’t look very happy.”

“My mother destroyed my phone,” she told Jack quietly.

“Ah, well, I’m sure she had good reason. I don’t think your husband too busy.”

“I’m not going to be long. See you later, Jack.”

They walked on to the hallway that led to Rafael’s office. He was on his desk phone, she didn’t know with who but she sat the clear evidence bag with the destroyed phone in front of him.

“I’m going to have to call you back, Liv. What happened to this?”

“I shot it.”

“You still have a hell of an aim.”

“One shot.”

“Beretta or Glock?”

“Beretta. Needed to get it out since I never carry it hardly.”

“Hmm, nice.”

“Daddy.”

“Why don’t you two go home? There’s still a few phones I have to get warrants for.”

“Okay, well, try not to work too hard.”

“I’ve got to get a warrant for Arlene Heller son’s phone,” he said as he rolled his eyes.

“Ooh, good luck. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

He just looked at his daughter. He did want to tell her he loved her but his anger hadn’t dissipated enough for him to speak to her.   
__________________________________  
It had been a few days since the rainbow party and Rafael still hadn't brought himself to speak to his oldest daughter. On top of the pictures being put on the internet by defense attorney Arlene Heller's son Larry, Noah had contracted measles from Gabriel Dole's baby brother. His mother, Trudy Malko, had convinced a doctor not to vaccinate Gabriel when he was a baby and several other mothers as well and a measles outbreak had caused. Tribeca Academy to be closed down.

He had brought reckless endangerment charges against Trudy and was working on building his case.

"Dad's still mad at me, huh?"

"Look, Cami...he's upset. I am, too. You lied to us, you snuck around behind our backs by dating someone he told you you couldn't, you drank alcohol at 14. Then he had to find out that you participated in that party? We've taught you better than that."

"I know. I just...I mean all the other girls were doing it..."

"And that's supposed to make it better?"

"No."

"You know this is the only year that you're going to Tribeca Academy."

"What?"

"You're gonna finish out this semester and you're starting your Freshmen year in Catholic school."

"Are you serious with this?"

"Quite. Now, go finish your homework and get ready for bed."

Camila walked upstairs to her room but not before stopping in her dad's office.

"Do you need something?" He asked his daughter curtly.

"I just wanted to talk to you for a minute."

"I don't have a lot of time. I have a case to prepare."

"Dad can you just...what's it going to take for you to love me again?"

That stopped him from going through one of his many law books. It felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. 

"What did you say?"

"I know I messed up but it's like you hate me now."

He shut his book and looked at his daughter.

"Shut my door and sit down."

She did what her father said and sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

"I don't hate you. I hate what you did. Do you realize how serious this was?"

"Yes."

"I don't think you do. It's not just about the pictures, but your actions."

"I told you..."

"Why did you even put yourself in that situation? Did you not stop to think that one of those boys you were messing with could've tried to go further? You had been drinking which a lot of guys use that as an excuse to force themselves on a girl."

"I know. You and Mom have told me..."

"You know, I don't expect you guys to be like me and your mother and just be with one person. Well, I'm lying. I do expect that actually but I'm realistic. I mean, have we given you that bad of a childhood that you feel like you need act out, sexually, in the eighth grade?"

"No," she said with tears. "I was just having fun or so I thought. I hated it."

"Good! That was nothing a girl your age should've been doing."

"I know. I don't want to ever again."

"Look, I've been upset, yes. I'm sorry that I've made you feel like I don't love you anymore but of course you should know better. You're not going to make me happy every day, hell, your mother doesn't, but it doesn't mean I'll ever stop loving any of you. I still have to deal with your sisters and brothers. I can only imagine what kind of hell your brothers are going to put me through. The reason why I haven't been talking to you was because I didn't want it to be just me yelling. That wasn't going to help anything."

"Okay. I am sorry that I disappointed you and Mom."

"I understand that. I'm not changing my mind about the school."

"I know."

"Alright," he said as he stood from behind his desk and hugged his oldest daughter. "I love you."

"Love you, too, Dad."


	78. Chapter 78

“You see anything that looks good?” Izzy asked as she went through the 900 take-out menus in the kitchen.

“Yeah,” Rafael told her. 

“Like what?”

“You,” he chuckled as he moved to kiss her.

“Just because we have the night alone doesn’t mean…”

“One time. I can be so quick you won’t even know what’s going on.”

“Stop,” she laughed. “Come on pick something to eat.”

“I told you what I wanted.”

“That’s not going to fill you up.”

“You just like me fat,” he teased.

“Oh yeah, you are so huge,” she scoffed before running her hand lightly down his light blue shirt, running the dark paisley tie through her fingers, slightly popping his suspenders.

The menus were soon in the kitchen floor as he picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist. One of his huge hands held the back of her head, slightly pulling her hair.

Small moans escaped from both of them as he sat her on the island in the kitchen. He fumbled with the buttons on her shirt as she undid his tie.

“Wait. Wait.”

“What?” He asked, confused.

“One week.”

“Ugh,” he groaned as his head fell back. “5 minutes. That’s all I need.”

“Raf.”

“Fine. Order what you want.”

“Where are you going?”

“To take a shower.”

“Already?”

“Well, if I’m gonna spend the night eating take out and watching bad tv, I might as well take my shower and get in my pajamas.”

“You are a big baby.”

“No, I’m just horny.”

“What else is new?”

“Okay. Fine. I’m not going to say anything else about it.”  
_________________________________  
“You look beautiful,” Liv said with tears in her eyes when Izzy came out in the strapless ruched mermaid tulle dress on that day in March 2015.

Before she knew it, all the ladies had tears in their eyes.

“I expected more from you, Campisi.”

“Oh, leave me alone,” she laughed as she wiped her eyes.

“Finally got you in a wedding dress,” Stella chuckled. “Are you sure you don’t want the vail?”

“Since I decided to leave my hair down, not really, Ma.”

“Why spend money on something if you’re not going to use it?”

“One of the girls can have it when they get married.”

“It’ll be Rory or Ella. Rafael has Cami so spoiled, no man will ever be good enough for her,” Erin teased.

“I heard that, Aunt Erin.”

“Oh, stop being like your mother and get a sense of humor.”

“Trust me, she’s my polar opposite. I didn’t pull half the shit she has.”

“Do I have to remind everyone we’re in church?” Stella playfully scolded.

“Okay, my date just arrived,” Campisi said as she looked at her phone.

“Date?”

“Yeah. Dunbar. There’s gotta be some single guys here, right?”

“I’m sure.”

“I’ll see you out there,” Louise said as she hugged Izzy. They had grown apart over the years but still kept in touch when possible and even worked together on cases.  
_________________________________  
“So, you guys were on vacation and just decided to get married?”

“They were already engaged, Carisi,” Nick told him as they were getting ready themselves.

“Yeah and we just got tired of our parents arguing over the plans. We were there and decided why not?”

“And 6 weeks later, my sister found out she was pregnant with my niece,” Tony added.

“Damn,” Carisi chuckled. “You guys didn’t waste any time.”

“It wasn’t as if we were actively trying. It was more or less whatever happened, happened,” Rafael shrugged as he finished his tie. “And it happened. I still had two months of law school left after we got married so I missed the first few pre-natal appointments but I was there for everything else.”

“Yeah, she actually went into labor when we were working at Major Crimes together.”

“No way.”

“Yeah, Carisi. I took her to the hospital and waited until Barba could get out of court.”

“Yeah, Nick’s always had my wife’s back.”

“I like to think I’m a pretty good partner for her.”

“You’re not me or Amaro,” Fin laughed. “But you a’ight.”

“Thanks, Fin,” Carisi replied as he rolled his eyes.

“Why do you think you’re here, Carisi? Your partner. She seems to think you’re pretty good herself.”

Carisi just kind of nodded as he smiled.

“Stop that. I hate that,” Rafael told him so he’d wipe the smirk off his face.   
_______________________________  
“Well, Fin got your mom and Lucia to their seats. The guys and girls are about to get ready. Looks like it’s your turn,” Anthony smiled as he handed his daughter her bouquet of roses.

“Are you disappointed that you had to wait 15 years to walk me down the aisle?”

“Not at all. In fact, I’m actually glad we’re here and you guys have made it to this mark.”

“Well, it’s been 21 years all together.”

“And the two of you have so much longer to go.”

“I hope so.”

“You know who you two have always reminded me of?”

“Who’s that, Pop?”

“Your Mom and me. We’ve had our ups and downs just like you two have but we always made it to the other side.”

“He’s my soulmate, Dad.”

“I know he is. You were both very lucky to find each other so soon. We could be here just now you two getting married,” Anthony teased.

“We wouldn’t have almost half a dozen kids either.”

“And poor Rafael wouldn’t be getting gray hair already.”

“Pop!”

“I’m just kidding. Now, come on, you keep him waiting all the time. Not today.”

Even though the vow renewal was being held in the same Catholic Church Izzy grew up in, they decided to skip a lot of the traditions like the Mass and the Holy Communion.

Izzy was shocked that Rafael didn’t replace her original white gold band with the same one. Instead to go with the new 3.5 carat engagement ring he got her for Christmas, he slid a diamond infinity band on her finger. Good thing she had replaced his with a platinum band.  
_____________________________________  
“Well, we did it again,” he laughed while they waited for everyone to clear out of the church so they could take pictures before heading to their reception.

“Yes, we did.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. 

“You don’t seem like it. Are you regretting marrying me again?” He joked.

“Not at all. You cried this time. You didn’t the first time.”

“I couldn’t cry in front of Eddie,” he laughed. “When I saw you and your Dad, part of me felt bad for taking that away from him 15 years ago. The other part of me was just overwhelmed at how beautiful you looked.”

“Thank you.”

“Now, I want a real kiss. Not that tiny thing I got on the altar,” he said as he grabbed her into him.

“Rafa! I thought it was sweet.”

“You know what would be a lot sweeter?”

“Our kids are on the other side of that door.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him long and good.

He was biting his bottom lip when they broke away.

“I need more,” he growled.

“Not…yet.”  
_____________________________  
The reception was full of dinner and dancing. “I want to tear this dress off you so bad.”

“You might not want to do that considering how much I paid for it,” Izzy laughed as they danced.

“Don’t remind me,” he scoffed. “I still can’t get over how beautiful you look.”

“Aww, thank you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Raf.”

“I will never forget that day I met you…your smile, your eyes, the way you lightly shook my hand. Just your touch…did something to me.”

“Raf…”

“I’m serious. I think about that day and it was like an almost electric shock.”

“You’re sweet.”

“Mommy?”

“What’s up, Ella?”

“I know this is your day but Daddy said he would dance with me.”

“She’s right, cariño.”

“Well, by all means. I’m gonna go visit with the bunch from Chicago.”

Izzy walked up to Erin, Jay, and Antonio. “Finally,” Dawson laughed as they hugged. “Starting to think you were too good to hang out with CPD Intelligence.”

“This is my day and I have a lot of people to talk to, Antonio. Glad you could make it.”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

“It was beautiful,” Halstead added.

“Yeah, you were staring at one of my bridesmaids, not me, Jay,” Izzy teased.

“What can I say?” He laughed as he wrapped his arm around Erin. “So, when do you guys leave for St. Barts?”

“A couple of weeks actually. When the kids are on Spring Break that way it’s not a big hassle about getting them to school and what not.”

“Must be nice,” Erin said as she nudged Jay in the side. 

“You won’t even go to Wisconsin with me. Hey, Izzy, would you ever go to Wisconsin?”

“Yeah.”

“See, Erin?”

“Snowmobiling, ice fishing, meth labs, it’s paradise!”

“You’re not helping.”

“Did you really think I would, Jay?”  
____________________________________  
“Are you really going on vacation without us?” Matty asked as he climbed into his dad’s lap.

“Well, not for a couple of weeks, but it's just Mommy and me. You’ll have fun while we’re gone. You’ll get to stay with Abuelita a few days, Nonna and Pop-Pop, too. I think Uncle Nick is going to take you and RJ to a ballgame, too.”

“I think Mr. Dodds is taking us to one, too.”

“What…why would Chief Dodds take you and your brother to a ballgame?”

“Because he comes over to Abuelita’s when I’m there and we all go have pizza and Abuelita said so.”

“Is that right?” Rafael asked as he noticed his mother and the Chief laughing on the dance floor. “And how long has this been going on?”

“After Christmas,” Matty shrugged.

“Did you know about this?” Rafael asked his wife quietly.

“No idea.”

“Huh. Here, Matty you sit with Mommy. I’ll be back.”

“Where’s Daddy going?”

“I think to dance with Abuelita.”

“Care to dance, Detective?”

“Uh, sure, Chief? Matty go over there with Nonna.”

“Okay, Mommy.”

“Guess our secret is out,” Dodds laughed.

“How long…I mean…”

“When we met at your Christmas party, we ended up exchanging numbers. We got coffee a few days later and there you have it.”

“I see.”

“You don’t think the counselor’s too upset?”

“Lucia is a grown woman and she’s been widowed for a while. I don’t see why he would be.”  
__________________________________  
“Are you seriously going to spend the night of our vow renewal bitching about your mom dating Dodds?”

“She could’ve told me. Instead I had to find out from my 6-year-old. And Dodds of all people?!”

“Rafa come on. Your dad has been gone for a while now. You can't expect her to be alone for the rest of her life. Besides, we have this beautiful hotel room all to ourselves. Don’t you want to get me out of this dress?”

“I’m sorry, mi amor.”

“Here, have a glass of champagne and calm down.”

“Thank you,” he smiled as he took the glass from her. 

She looked out over the city as he started getting comfortable.

He took off his jacket, rolled up his sleeves and loosened his tie before wrapping his arms around her from behind. He placed a kiss on her bare shoulder, lips still wet and cool from the champagne.

“Were you not scared this was going to come untied tonight?”

“I had Liv tie it to make sure,” she chuckled. 

“Oops,” he smiled as he untied the back of her dress. He started sliding it off her body to reveal a very light pink corset underneath. “Is this new?”

“Of course,” she whispered. “You have been very patient so I thought you’d like to have something new to take off of me tonight.”

“I haven’t been that patient.”

“Well, you’ve been patient enough,” she winked.

The first time was very reminiscent to their very first time ever and lasted maybe 3 minutes.

“I know I said I wanted to feel young again but this is ridiculous.”

“For starters, we’re not old, and for another, it’s been a few weeks. Plus, we have all night.”

“Well, in the meantime, I’ll take care of you until I’m ready again.”


	79. Chapter 79

“Are you ready for your trip?”

“Are you kidding, Rollins? I am counting down the days until I am in the basking in the sun in St. Barts. Our villa has a hot tub and a private pool.”

“Oohhh-hooo, I take it you don’t plan on doing a lot of swimming.”

“Something like that,” Izzy said, with her face turning a little pink. She considered Rollins one of her best friends but she was still a little shy when it came to talking about sex, even at almost 41.

“So, you guys are having dinner with the Chief and your mother in law…”

“And his son. He’s the Sergeant over at Anti-Crime.”

“There’s a shocker. Why haven’t you ever taken the exam?”

“Eh, I’m just not ready for that. Maybe one day, like when Liv’s Captain and Fin’s Lieutenant.”

“Ha ha, keep dreaming, Shorty,” Fin laughed as he walked up. “I’m not ever getting behind the desk. You’ll be Sergeant before me. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Whatever, Fin,” Izzy laughed as she shook her head.  
____________________________  
“Are we sure this is the right building?”

“Your mom gave me the address.”

“Wonder how much he pulls in a year to afford this place.”

“Like we don’t have a nice house?”

“No, we do, but that’s cause it was a foreclosure. We got it for a steal. If we ever sell, can you imagine the profit?”

“You’re selling the house?”

“No, Camila. We’re talking about something completely different.”

“You guys can’t sell the house.”

“Aurora we are not selling the house. Your mother and I were talking about…you know what? Nevermind. I want you guys to be on your best behavior tonight. No attitude from you, Camila. No fighting from you two,” he said pointing to the twins.

“What about Rory and Matty?”

“We behave,” Rory answered Cami.

“Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.”

“Ah-ah. Leave the attitude in the car now.”

“Sorry, Dad.”  
_______________________________  
They got to Dodds’ apartment and we’re greeted by the Chief and Lucia. “Come in, guys. Come in. Counselor can I offer you a drink?”

“Uh, scotch if you have it, Chief.”

“We’re not at work, it’s Bill, and I only have the best. What say you, Detective?”

“Same, please, Chief, uh Bill.”

“Be right back. You guys just make yourselves at home. My son should be here soon.”

“Girls why don’t we go in the kitchen and help Abuelita finish dinner?” Izzy offered.

“Sure,” they agreed as they followed their mother and grandmother into Dodds’ kitchen.

“So, have you met the Chief’s son?”

“I have, Izzy. I think you and Rafi will really like Mike. He’s very nice.”

“Only child, too, huh?”

“Actually, Bill has another son, Matt, but he is sort of a problem child of sorts.”

“I see.”

“Yeah, so whenever I’ll get to meet him, who knows.”

“Things seem to be going good with you and Bill.”

“I’m crazy about him,” she admitted to her daughter in law.

“That’s…good,” Izzy said with a smile. The Chief brought Izzy her scotch and gave Lucia a kiss on the cheek after praising the smell that filled the kitchen before walking back out.

“Oohhhh, Abuelita,” Rory and Ella teased.

“Oh, girls, stop,” she giggled. “Cami you’re being awfully quiet.”

“She’s still mad because her dad won’t let her have a new phone yet.”

“You will live, Camila. I promise.”

“It’s just not fair. It’s been a month.”

“We’re not doing this tonight. What did your dad tell you?”

“Fine.”

“Can’t live without the boys, huh? Reminds me of her father when he discovered girls.”

“Dad wasn’t girl crazy, was he?”

“You have no idea, Ella. Especially ones with brown eyes,” she told her granddaughter while smirking at Izzy.

“Hush, Mami,” she laughed.

“Mommy has brown eyes.”

“Took you long enough, Ella,” Rory laughed.

“Well, dinner will be ready soon. Why don’t we go see what your dad and Bill are up to while we wait for Mike?”

About 20 minutes later, Sergeant Michael Dodds made his appearance.

“Here he is. Chip off the old block. Sergeant Mike Dodds, this is Lucia’s son ADA Rafael Barba and his wife, Detective…”

“Izzy Barba. I’ve heard a lot about you,” he said as he shook her hand. “Captain Steven Harris speaks very highly of you.”

“And your dad of you.”

“Counselor I’ve read a lot about your cases. You’ve got an impressive record.”

“I do my best.”

“And who are these beautiful children?”

Lucia introduced her grandchildren to Mike and they sat down for dinner.

“Everything looks wonderful, Lucy.”

“Lucy,” Rafael scoffed under his breath, earning a small pinch on his leg from his wife. “Ow.”

“Stop it,” she whispered.

“Everything okay?” Lucia asked.

“Yeah, just fine, Mami,” her son told her.  
__________________________________  
“Now was that so bad?”

“I guess not,” he told his wife as he took off his tie.

“Your mom seems really happy.”

“Yeah…yeah she does.”

“Mike wasn’t too bad.”

“I don’t think he’s the ‘chip off the old block’ the way the Chief seems to think he is.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just got a feeling they’re not as close as Bill believes they are.”

“Maybe not.”

“What?” He asked when he noticed his wife looking at him as he sat on the end of the bed.

“I just find you incredibly sexy like that,” she smile referring to the fact he was just sitting there, no tie, shirt unbuttoned at the top, his pants and suspenders still on.

“Stop,” he blushed.

“I do.”

“I’m getting fat. Remember what I looked like when we met?”

“And? I like this version of you just as much…if it not more.”

“Remember when I used to wear that earring?”

“Yeah. I thought it was hot. Why did you stop wearing it again?”

“I was going to law school. I thought I was a little too old for that, remember?”

“I bet it would still look hot on you.”

“You think so? Even with these suits?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Get over here,” he laughed as he pulled her onto his lap. “Just a few more weeks and you’re finally getting the honeymoon you deserve.”

“You deserve it just as much, Rafa.”  
_________________________________  
“Okay, guys, cross-match any details from the Chicago case with ours, and I'm gonna need all of our files electronically scanned and sent, like, yesterday,” Liv told Nick, Fin, and Izzy via Skype from Chicago.

“We're on it,” Izzy told her. 

“Why don't you bring them out yourself? We could use all the help we can get,” Voight suggested. 

“We're happy to do it,” Nick responded. 

“Okay, guys, then get on the next flight. Bring the files. Have Rollins and Carisi reopen the investigation, okay, from there,” Liv instructed.

“No problem, Sarge,” Fin replied.

“Great. See you guys as soon as you get here.”  
_______________________________  
“Okay, so the offender drags the victim up the back staircase into the bedroom. There's no way we're pulling any DNA out of here,” Halstead said as he, Izzy, and Erin went through the torched house. 

“Oh, hell no,” Izzy replied.

“I heard whoever did this has done it before?” CFD Lieutenant Matthew Casey asked. 

“Yeah, it's looking like it,” Izzy told him. They had met the last time Izzy and Fin came to help with a case in Chicago and was dating Antonio’s sister. “Jay, Erin, check it out. It's nail polish. What color did the offender use on the victims?” 

“Green,” Erin answered. 

“Well, now there's no doubt.”  
_______________________________  
Carisi had called Izzy with some information so she pulled Liv to the side once she returned to the 21st District.

“Carisi went over the witness statements from the Debra McCulloch disappearance in '04. Detectives interviewed a med student who knew Debra named Will Halstead. It turns out he's a doctor at Chicago Med right now. The only thing is…he’s also Jay’s brother.”

“Shit. Okay. Let me talk to Voight before we make any moves.”

“Fair enough.”

“I want you sitting in with me, though, if Voight lets me take a run at him.”

“Copy that, Sarge.”  
______________________________  
“Like I told Jay, she was just a really friendly person. Seemed to be well liked by everyone on the staff, although I would have to assume there are other people at Chicago Med who could give you more insight,” Will told them.

“Well, we were hoping that you could do that for us, you know. We're just trying to piece together who she was as a person,” Liv said. 

“Of course. Whatever I can do.” 

“Did you know her outside of work?” 

“No. I just started a couple weeks ago, so I'm still in the "getting to know you" stage, meeting everyone.”

“Been there,” Izzy chuckled. “That can take a while. So, while you're here, do you know this woman?”

“Wow. Yeah, Debra. It's been a while. She went missing a long time ago back in New York.” 

“Yeah. How do you know Debra, Will?” 

“What's going on here?” Jay asked. 

“Well, we just found out that Will was in New York at the time of the other two incidents,” Izzy told Jay.

“You just found out, my ass. Sarge, they’re ambushing my brother. You signed off on it,” Jay responded, agitated.

“I'm a little confused here,” Will said. 

“Don't say another word.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“We're done. Let's go,” Jay instructed his younger brother. 

“Are you asking if I did these crimes?” 

“I am,” Liv told him.

“I didn't.” 

“Don't say another word until you get a lawyer.” 

“I don't need a lawyer. I didn't do anything!”

“It doesn't matter. If they want to, they'll find a way to stitch you up. That one there is married to a DA in New York!” He said, pointing to Izzy. 

“Back-off!” Will yelled at his brother. “No, I saw what happened to that girl, and if it were my sister or my daughter or my mom, I'd want you to do exactly what you're doing right now. Ask me anything you want anytime.” 

“Appreciate that. If you could write down where you were the night of Victoria's murder, I would like a full statement.” 

Jay wouldn’t let Will continue.  
______________________________________  
“My brother ordered a pizza the night Victoria was assaulted. The delivery guy will vouch,” Jay told Izzy and Voight as they sat in Voight’s office. Liv had left, leaving Izzy to head up the investigation on their end. 

“Jay, he's been cleared as a suspect,” Izzy told him. 

“Wonderful. Moving on, I told him about that Greg Yates Burgess and Roman brought in. Get this. They worked together for a minute in the same hospital. Yates was one of his professors in med school. He's got an opinion about him.”

“Alright, where's Will now?” Hank asked. 

“He's downstairs.” 

“Go get him.” 

Will came back up and sat down with Izzy and Voight. “He was one of those instructors that made the students call him by his first name. Liked to hang out at the bars we went to. Some bought into it, but I always got a creepy vibe. Someone invited him out to a party one night, and Yates corners me, starts talking about who has the best ass, who he'd like to have sex with first. Debra McCulloch was at that party, the nurse who went missing.” 

“Was it the night she went missing?” Izzy asked. 

“No, I think it was, like, three nights before that, but they were both there. Could have easily met her that night.”

“Thank you, Will,” Izzy smiled.  
___________________________________  
Another house and been caught on fire and an 18-year-old was killed in it while Yates had asked to meet up with Erin in public, knowing the SVU detectives and CPD Intelligence would be watching.

“He was using us as an alibi,” Erin said.

They searched through the remnants of the house only to find his phone and a bottle of green nail polish. 

“Barba, Ruzek, Dawson, Fin, Amaro, start tearing the house apart,” Voight told them.

“No. I’m watching over Erin,” Izzy told him.

“Fine. Come back to the District with us.”

They got back and Voight wanted Nadia to set up a civilian hotline but she was gone in Erin’s car. Jay had to let it slip that she went out for a cake for Erin’s 40th birthday. Burgess and Roman found were Erin had parked her car and a smashed birthday cake in that spot. 

“He got her.”

“Don’t think like that,” Izzy told Erin. “That never helps.”

“Then where is my car and where is Nadia, Izzy?”

“Izzy why don’t you get back to New York and let Benson know what’s going on. I want this relayed to her face to face.”

“Copy that, Sarge. Erin keep calm.”

“I’m trying.”

“I love you,” she told her as she hugged her best friend.

“I love you, too.”  
_______________________________  
CPD followed them to New York once they figured out that’s where Yates was headed. They found Erin’s car in an abandoned ship yard in Queens.

“Erin you have insurance, right?”

“Of course, Izz.”

“Good,” she said as she broke the drivers side window so they could into the car. Liv found a scarf tucked in the backseat that she had given Nadia, knowing she left it so they would find her.

All Erin could do was cry as Izzy held her. She wouldn’t even let Jay touch her. “It’s gonna be okay. We’ll find her.”

“I hope so. She came so far, she worked so hard…”

“Okay, shhh. It’s gonna be okay.”

They ended up finding Yates in his “fiancés” house in Elmhurst, Queens on April 13, 2015. Suzie Frain had no idea about her fiancés double life and of course didn’t believe a word that Nick and Izzy were telling her.

She incidentally led them to a beach where they found Nadia, dead. 

“Okay, I got you,” Izzy told Erin as she saw her body. “I’m here.”

“I know. Oh my god,” Erin cried. 

Everyone else just kind of left them alone standing on that beach while they cleaned up the crime scene. 

“You’re coming home with me. Okay?”

Erin just nodded as Izzy wiped the tears from her eyes.  
_____________________________  
“Detective Lindsay, did you meet Ms. Decotis through friends, at a party, a police benefit for widows and orphans…” 

“Your Honor,” Rafael interjected during Dr. Yates cross-examination of Erin. 

“Ask your question, Dr. Yates.” 

“Well, how did you meet Ms. Decotis?” 

“I arrested her.” 

“For what?” 

“Objection. What the murder victim did a year before she died is not relevant.” 

“It is if she was doing it again an hour before she died,” Yates retorted.

“Approach?” 

“Mm-hmm.” 

“Your Honor, there is absolutely no evidence that Ms. Decotis reverted to prior behavior.” 

“There will be, Your Honor.” 

“In what form?” Judge Barth asked.

“My testimony. I was the last person to see her alive, except for the killer, of course. Detective Lindsay opened the door when she beatified Nadia.” 

“I'll give you some leeway since you're representing yourself, Dr. Yates, but move it along.” 

“What was Ms. Decotis doing when you arrested her?” 

“She was working as an escort,” Erin replied. 

“As a prostitute. Was she on drugs?” 

“She was addicted to heroin when I arrested her. She really struggled for a time, but when she was ready, she called me, and I brought her to rehab. She had been clean and sober ever since.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes. I took her in and I saw her every day for a year.” 

“You sound very committed to her recovery. I can see how you'd hate to think that your little rescue project failed.” 

“Objection.” 

“Sustained. You're done, Dr. Yates.” 

“Okey doke.”   
____________________________________  
“I tried my best, but he just made her sound…” Erin told Hank as they stood in the hallway outside the courtroom. 

“Erin, it's not on you,” Jay told her. 

“You just gonna let him get away with smearing Nadia like that?!” Erin as she walked up to Rafael as he and Izzy walked out. 

“There's a limit to how far he can go. When he exceeds it, I'll object.” 

“You'll object? That’s it?” 

“Is there a problem, Erin?” 

“Yeah. You’re just as bad as Yates.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You see Nadia as nothing but what she was.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah she was a prostitute so what? I guess if she was the perfect virgin that your wife was, it would be different.”

“How dare you, detective?”

“I can’t believe you would through that in his face in front of her squad like that. What’s wrong with you?” Dawson asked Erin. 

“Well, it’s no secret he prefers her barefoot and pregnant.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Liv and Voight both instructed.

Everybody just got quiet as Erin went in one direction and Izzy the other with Rollins and Fin going after Izzy.

“Look, man. You need to do your job.”

“Excuse me, Jay?”

“Yates is a murderer and a rapist.”

“We all know that, but no offense to your legal acumen, Detective Halstead, the jury isn't privy to what we know. They all see the same charming man whose smile lured dozens of women to their deaths. Are we done?”

“I’m just getting started. It’s no secret you don’t like Erin.”

“How I feel about a witness has no bearing on a case one way or another. Now, are we going to continue to have a problem or can I do my job?” Nick wasn’t far away cause he knew that look on Barba’s face too well.

“I’m still waiting to find out,” Jay snorted.

“You’re out of line, Halstead,” Nick said standing about 3 inches from him.

“I gotta go find Erin.”

“If you can’t keep your detectives in line, maybe they should go back to Chicago for the remainder of the trial,” Liv told Voight.

“Look, emotions are high right now and your DA…”

“Is doing his job. Did you spend 7 years in college and become a lawyer because I sure as hell didn’t. He knows what he’s doing. He’s got one of the best records in this office. Don’t underestimate him.”  
__________________________________  
“She actually said that,” Tony asked as he and Rafael sat in his office in the Bronx, having a drink.

“In the middle of the courthouse.”

“I get that she’s upset about losing her friend but where was she when my sister and nephew could’ve died? It was how long before she ever came out here?”

“And that boyfriend of hers…”

“Oh, the army ranger?”

“He thinks because I don’t like Erin, I’m letting Yates, I don’t know…ugh, fuck I can’t wait for my vacation.”

Yates was found guilty on the charge of rape and sodomy in the first degree, and of murder in the first degree.

“Counselor?”

“Can I help you, Detective Halstead?” Rafael asked curtly.

“I just wanted to…apologize for my behavior a few days ago. You did your job and that monster is going away for the rest of his life because of you.”

“Halstead a word of advice: if we ever work together again, don’t ever doubt my ability to do my job,” Rafael told him as he finally shook his hand.

Erin had walked out with Voight after the verdict was read. Izzy was staying as far away from Erin as possible for the moment. For her to get personal…didn’t matter than her friends in the squad knew that she and Rafael had only been with each other but the “barefoot” and pregnant comment was something she couldn’t shake. Not yet at least.


	80. Chapter 80

A 6 hour flight from Newark later and they were in St. Bart’s and heading to their resort around 4 pm.

“Wow,” Izzy marveled once they walked in. “This place is…it’s really beautiful.”

“Glad you like it. Champagne?”

“You don’t have to get me drunk, Rafa. You know you’re gonna get laid,” she laughed.

“I still remember the first time you got drunk.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” she said as she covered her eyes in embarrassment. “I still can’t drink rum.”

“Hey, did I not take care of you?”

“Yes, you did. You were a gentleman, too. I was for sure you were gonna break up with me.”

“Why would I have broken up with you?”

“Come on, I was a mess and we had only been dating for barely a month. I had vomit in my hair.”

“And on your shoes, my shoes…”

“Stop.”

“I cleaned you up and put you in your bed.”

“And you made a pallet next to my bed.”

“That was a hard ass floor, too,” he laughed. “But I wanted to make sure you were comfortable and you were taken care of.”

“You were sweet,” she smiled as she kissed him.

“I never once thought about breaking up with you.”

“Glad you didn’t.”

“You on the other hand…”

“Rafa…”

“I’m just playing. You want to go for a swim?”

“Sure.”  
_________________________________  
They got changed and got into their private pool for a swim. The water was just the right temperature, too.

They played around like they were kids for a little bit when Izzy’s phone started ringing.

“Doesn’t everyone know we’re on fucking vacation?”

“Let me make sure it’s not an emergency, Raf,” she told him as she got out to check her phone. It was far from an emergency.

“Who was it?”

“Halstead.”

“Fucking seriously?”

“Yeah. I don’t consider that an emergency,” she said as she got back in the pool. Her phone rang again.

“Ignore it,” he said as pulled her to him, setting her in his lap, and began kissing her neck.

“Gladly,” she moaned. He was obviously trying to start something in the pool but her phone kept ringing.

“Goddammit what does he want?”

“Let me go answer it.”

“Just turn the motherfucker off.”

“I can’t do that cause of the kids.”

“Fine,” he muttered as they both got out and wrapped themselves in towels.

It wasn’t just a few minutes later and Halstead called again. Rafael quickly grabbed the phone from his wife and answered it himself.

“We are on our fucking honeymoon, Halstead. What is so goddamn important that you’re blowing up my wife’s phone?”

“Uh, I just need to talk to her for a minute, Barba.”

“No. There is nothing that important to interrupt the first day of our vacation.”

“It’s Erin.”

“You have 3 minutes, Halstead,” he told the CPD detective angrily as he handed Izzy her phone.

“What is it, Jay?”

“Have you talked to Erin?”

“That would be a hard no.”

“She’s gone off the deep end, Izzy.”

“What do you mean?”

“Drinking a lot, hanging out with her mother…I overheard Voight say something about pills. I’m worried.”

“Yeah? Well, she’s 40 years old. She can take care of herself.”

“Izzy come on you’re her best friend.”

“Am I really? Sure didn’t seem like it during the Yates case.”

“She felt…”

“I don’t want to hear it, Jay. Look, I’m sorry but she’s gonna have to take care of herself for once.”

“Okay, I get it.”

“I’m not trying to be mean but I just want to enjoy my honeymoon without thinking about any drama.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry to have interrupted you. Tell Barba I’m sorry.”

She threw her phone on the bed and turned back to her husband. “Where were we?”

“Why don’t we get ready for dinner?”

“Uh, okay. You alright?”

“Seriously,” he scoffed.

“Rafael…”

“After that stunt she pulled over Nadia, Jay actually thinks you would drop everything to help her? He can take care of her. You’re done.”

“Let’s not let it ruin our vacation. This was the honeymoon we never got, remember?”

That crooked smile came across his face as he started to calm down.

“You’re right. I do reservations for dinner though.”  
__________________________________________  
“Is that all you’re gonna do?” Rafael laughed as Izzy sat in chaise on the beach while reading a magazine.

“I was wondering when you were gonna join me.”

“You wore me out last night.”

“I plan to do it again tonight.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, mi amor. It’s my turn,” he said with a devilish grin. Even though he had his aviators on, she knew his eyes were filled with lust just by that smile.

“You don’t match, just so you know,” she teased at the salmon colored tshirt and black and gray horizontal stripped swim trunks he had on.

“Who am I here to look good for?”

“Me.”

“I thought I always look good for you,” he said with a laugh as he bent down, his hands on his knees.

“You certainly do,” she responded as she snapped a quick picture of him on her phone.

“And just where are you putting that picture?”

“Instagram, Facebook.”

“You better not.”

“Hashtag: HOTTEST NYC ADA EVER.”

He just laughed as he took the chaise next to his wife. He had come down with a first edition of “Slaughterhouse Five” Izzy had gotten him as a graduation present when he graduated from Harvard Law in 2000. She was even able to get Kurt Vonnegut to autograph it thanks to Captain Harris who knew somebody that knew somebody that had worked security for Vonnegut at a few conventions in New York. Rafael had taken very good care of that book for the last 15 years, too. He always counted that as one of his most favorite gifts he’d ever received.

After a little bit of reading, Rafael took off his shirt and they headed into the ocean.  
_________________________________  
“Another bottle of champagne,” Izzy asked when they returned from dinner.

“And strawberries.”

“What do you have planned?”

“Didn’t I say I was wearing you out tonight?”

“Rafa…”

“Don’t ‘Rafa’ me in that tone. It’s my turn. Papi is needing to come out.”

“Is that right?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely,” he growled before kissing her with so much force, she felt like her lip had busted. He poured them both a glass of champagne, dipped a strawberry in one before brushing it across her lips. As soon as she tried to take a bite, he pulled it away. “You can have it when I’m ready.”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry who?”

“Sorry, Papi.”

“That’s better,” he replied as he lightly licked his lips. He dipped the strawberry again, this time holding it in the champagne a little longer before repeating the same action. This time, though, he let her take a small bite.

“Sweet,” she whispered as she wiped the juice from under her bottom lip.

“I’m sure it doesn’t taste as sweet as you.”

He finally let her have the rest of it as he finished his glass of Dom Perignon. Once she had swallowed the very sweet fruit, he cupped her face and kissed her again. His hands began to travel down her back, grabbing her ass in the process, before they came back to her face.

“Strip,” he told her.

Without hesitation, she slithered out of the dark pink sundress she had been wearing, revealing a matching dark pink bra and the “cheeky” panties he was so fond of on her.

“Sabes lo que le gusta a papi (you know what Papi likes),” he whispered as he grabbed her ass again, this time harder before slapping it.

“Sí, papi.”

“Bien. Ahora, vamos a la cama (Good. Now get on the bed).”

She laid on the king sized bed in their room, her eyes never leaving her husband as he walked over to his suitcase. He came back with her favorite tie of his, the rainbow checkered one.

He took off the white button down he was wearing before joining her on the bed. 

“Papi?”

“Sí?”

“¿Qué tenías en mente (What did you have in mind)?”

“Sólo confía en mí, mi corazón (Just trust me, my heart).”

She just nodded at his words. He pulled her up gently to unhook her bra with one hand. That was in stark contrast to how they first started out. She could remember when it took him both hands to undo her bra; now he was basically an expert.

He took the tie and wrapped up her wrists. “This feel okay?”

“Yes, Papi,” she moaned once he was done.

“Now, there’s not many rules tonight but you can’t push me away, no matter how much you want to. You are going to let me do what I want. ¿Entiendes?”

“Yes, Papi,” she said with a labored breath.

“Just relax, mi reina. Papi is going to take good care of you tonight.”

He took off the khaki shorts he had been wearing and was in nothing but his boxers. He brought the chiller with the champagne closer to them. She had no idea what he had planned.

She watched as he took a piece of ice and put it between his teeth. He started taking it down her neck slowly.

“Papi…” she whispered. He couldn’t exactly speak so he put his finger on her lips to shush her.

He kept going down further, rubbing the ice around her nipples, making them both harder than they already where.

“F-f-f-fuck, Papi.”

He kept the leading the ice down her taut body as he reached into her panties and slid two fingers into her.

She was already wet, almost soaking through her panties at that point. She was doing best to keep her hands away from his head to push him away.

He sat up as he slowly took her panties off of her. She noticed the ice between his teeth was almost gone but not quiet as he ran it back up her right leg until it had finally melted. His fingers started back at her and soon his mouth made contact with her clit. It was a mixture of hot and cold that drove her insane.  
As his tongue made circles on her clit, half of her couldn’t believe his mouth was still so cold.

“Papi…I…I’m…”

“You gonna come for Papi?”

“Yes. Oh…oh god…oh my god!!!”

His face, which he hadn’t shaved since their vacation had started, was soaked in her orgasm.

“You ready for my cock, cariño?”

“Uh…uh…yeah,” she said as she swallowed hard and tried to gather her thoughts.

“Rollover.”

“O-okay,” she trembled as she did what he said. 

She expected him to pull her up to her knees but he didn’t. Instead he entered her while she laid on her stomach. His pelvic bone was bumping against her ass as he trusted in and out of her, making her moan “Papi” over and over again.

“You ready to come again?”

“Por favor, Papi,” she begged.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he whispered between his own moans. Soon she had coated his cock with another orgasm and a few seconds after that, he filled her up with his own. He held himself above her while he came down, peppering her neck and back with kisses.

“I don’t want you to ever call yourself old again,” she told him once he pulled out and laid next to her.


	81. Chapter 81

“You’re home!!” Ella practically screamed when her parents walked through the door.

“What did you bring me?”

“Um, your parents back home safely in New York, Camila. Isn’t that enough?” Rafael asked their oldest daughter.

“I guess.”

“Seriously, Cami?”

“I’m just kidding,” she laughed. “Of course, I’m glad you guys are home.”

“Izzy, Rafael, I didn’t hear you come in,” Jonathan laughed. “Matty and I were making a present for you.”

“It’s supposed to be surprise,” Matty told him.

“So, sorry.”

“Where’s RJ?” Rafael asked.

“Asleep. He’s still worn out from the baseball game last night,” Rory said as she came downstairs to greet her parents. 

“It’s 10:00,” Rafael said as he looked at his watch.

“It went in to extra innings. When Bill and Uncle Mike dropped them off this morning, he went straight to bed.”

“Uncle Mike, huh?”

“Shh, Raf. Okay. Well Jonathan you can take the rest of the day and tomorrow off,” Izzy told him.

“Are you guys taking us to school?”

“Uh, no, Rory. Actually, Daddy and I decided that we’re all going to take tomorrow off.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. We’ve been gone for a week so we decided that we’ll eat greasy take out and just hang out,” Rafael laughed.

“Awesome. No bedtime!” Ella cheered.

“Let us get unpacked, okay? We might have some gifts for you guys,” Rafael told 4 of his kids.

They all headed back to their rooms and Jonathan bid them a good day as he left.  
__________________________________  
The next day was spent eating greasy Chinese, everyone in their pjs as they watched movies. Matty of course had to watch “Rio 2”, while Ella and RJ picked “Remember the Titans”, Cami wanted to watch “If I Stay” and Rory, even with her high IQ, had a twisted sense of humor like her mother and wanted to watch “A Million Ways to Die in the West”. Izzy was shocked when Rafael gave the okay for that movie. 

That movie was saved for the “end” cause he didn’t want Matty, RJ, and Ella watching it.

Cami, Rafael, Rory, and Izzy laughed really hard as they watched Seth MacFarlane’s movie that didn’t include a pot-smoking teddy bear.

“Well, mi amor. All the kids are asleep and we have yet to pick a movie.” 

“Hmmm. Maybe we should go make one.”

“We should’ve done that on vacation,” he laughed as he scooped up another handful of popcorn she had made just for them.

“Raf I need to tell you something.”

“You’re pregnant.”

“Shut up,” she laughed. “No. Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Our honeymoon.”

“Baby I’ve always wanted to give you the best…”

“I know you think because my dad has money that you have to keep me in a certain lifestyle but you know how he got that.”

“Yeah. Your grandfather had a huge life insurance policy that your dad invested well.”

“I know you’ve always thought that I was spoiled…”

“Hey. Stop. I never thought that. Okay, I’m lying,” he laughed, “but it was never a problem. I never saw you as some rich girl from Brooklyn. It’s been 15 years since we’ve really been anywhere.”

“I know but the wedding…”

“You really think your dad didn’t cover most of that?”

“Seriously?”

“I wasn’t supposed to say anything but yeah. He gave me the money to pay for everything.”

“So, we have to pay him back?”

“Do you really think we spent your whole ‘wedding fund’ on baby furniture for Cami? No. We talked about this a long time ago.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I wanted to save it until our 20th but I couldn’t wait any longer,” he told her as he looked up with his green eyes and kissed her.

“Let’s take this to the bedroom,” she said after the broke apart.  
_________________________________________  
“You guys think a songs plays in Izzy’s head as she walks up or when she leaves?” Carisi asked as Izzy walked to the elevator.

“What do you mean, Carisi?” Rollins laughed.

“It’s like when she walks in here, I swear Darth Vader’s Imperial March has to be playing in her head.”

“I think that’s more Barba. Izzy probably has Curtis Mayfield’s ‘Superfly’ on a loop in her head. Especially when she’s right about something,” Nick added.

“Let’s hope she’s right about these girls.”

“What do you mean, Fin?”

“Some of those girls, I don’t know, man. Their pimps had them controlled all those years. Who’s to say they’re still gonna testify?”

“I’m more worried about Liv naming Johnny D on Noah’s birth certificate. You know Barba told her she didn’t have to.”

“Any idea why she’s doing it, Nick?”

“Said she doesn’t want to lie, Amanda. That’s all I know.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be studying, Sergeant Amaro,” Rollins teased.

“I gotta pass first, Rollins.”

“I hope they don’t let you supervise us.”

“I’m doing this to become Liv’s #2 so…”

“God help us. You sure you don’t want to take it, Fin?”

“To repeat shorty’s words when Liv asked her: I’m not ready for the desk.”  
________________________________________  
“Amaro and Izzy just finished with Selena. They’re on their way out,” Fin told Liv as they waited outside Sing-Sing. “Is he okay? He was all business about taking that sergeant's exam, and after he talked to you, I saw him throw his prep book in the garbage.” 

“NYPD doesn't want to promote him.” 

“Wow. That's tough.” 

“Hey, there you are,” Izzy called when she and Nick got outside. “I trust Selena about as far as I can throw her.” 

“Yeah, the same goes for Timmer,” Fin replied. 

“We don't have to trust them. They're both survivors, and this is their last chance,” Liv told them. 

“I hope you're right. Let's get out of here. I’m hungry,” Nick added as they walked to their cars.

“You doing okay, Nick?”

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine, Izz.”

“I know you’ve been upset…”

“What did you call them: NYPD, Never Yielding Perpetual Dickaround?”

“That’s them,” she laughed as she opened the driver’s side door. “Feel like pizza?”

“Sure. It’s still cool that Gil stays the night with RJ Friday night?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Thanks. He’s been bugging me and Cynthia both about it.”

“You know it’s always okay.”  
____________________  
Ariel Thornhill was testifying against Johnny D when other girls that apparently still felt loyal to him started hollering from the gallery, calling her a lying bitch, telling Judge Barth to shut up. 

It was enough for Johnny to turn over the defense counsel’s table and grab a court officer, taking her gun and going into the hall but not before shooting Judge Barth. 

Nick chased him out into the hall while Izzy and Fin secured the courtroom. Liv went out after Nick to find him in laying in the floor.

Izzy had taken off her jacket to slow the bleeding in Judge Barth’s shoulder. 

Liv came back in to check on Ariel as Barth and another CO that had been hit were being wheeled out.

“How’s Nick?”

“En route to Bellevue, he took two hits but he got him. It’s over.”

Nick was going to be fine they all found out. Cynthia was a mess until they knew for sure. Izzy knew that even after all these years, Cynthia still loved him, even if she had to get to know a whole different person.  
___________________________________  
Liv invited everyone over for drinks the day that her adoption of Noah became official.

“Amaro coming?” Rafael asked as they shared drinks at Liv’s apartment. 

“Yeah. He's on his way.” 

“He's doing better, right?” 

“Yeah. He's, you know, only two weeks into PT, Carisi, so it's gonna be a long road.” 

“Hey, you guys started without us,” Nick laughed as he hobbled in on his crutches. 

“Nick, Amanda, thank you for coming.” 

“So. I'll be hobbling around for three months. There may be a cane,” Nick told them of his progress.

“Yeah. You're gonna be on desk duty for a while. We'll work it out.”

“It’s gonna suck being stuck at the desk but I gotta do what I gotta do.”

“You can start by getting caught up on your paperwork,” Liv laughed as Nick followed her to her kitchen.

“I got it, Sarge. So, any luck talking Fin or Izzy into taking the exam?”

“Nope. Neither of them are interested.”

“Great,” Nick said as he rolled his eyes. “Wonder who they’ll stick us with.”

“I have to pass my Lieutenants exam first.”

“Come on, Liv, you know you did.”

“I haven’t heard from Dodds yet. Cragen couldn’t wait to give me the news.”

“Well, Izzy has an in with him,” Nick joked.

“Don’t mention that to her…or Barba.”


	82. Chapter 82

“I thought you called the kids for dinner, Rafa.”

“I did.”

“Well, where the hell is RJ?”

“Maybe he’s got his earbuds in.”

“I’ll go get him,” she laughed as she walked upstairs. “RJ? Oh my god!” She yelled as she opened the door.

“Mom!!”

She shut the door just as quick.

Rafael heard her so he came to see what was happening. “I just caught your son…”

“Caught my son doing what?”

“Abusing himself!”

“Uh…oh.”

“It’s not funny.”

“He’s at that age, cariño.”

RJ opened the door to find his parents in the hallway.

“Dinner’s ready, mijo.”

“Okay, Dad.”

“Wash your hands.”

“Rafa!” Izzy said as she slapped at him while he ran down the hall, laughing. “You need to talk to him.”

“That’s not dinner conversation.”

“I meant after, you ass.”

“Fine but I was around his age when I started learning how to tame the beast I was carrying around.”

“Oh, shut up. He just turned 10.”

“I was about 11.”

“Stop laughing, Rafael.”

“How am I supposed to not find humor in your reaction?”

“Okay. I’ll remember that when Ella gets her period.”

“Oh, now that’s just hateful.”  
_________________________________  
Rafael sat in his home office, feet on his desk, iPad in his lap, having just text RJ to come see him.

“Hey, Dad.”

“You know why I called you in here, verdad?”

“Si, Papi.”

“Okay, so what you were doing…it’s perfectly normal. Okay?”

“Okay,” RJ shrugged.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, besides your mother catching you,” Rafael snickered.

“Dad.”

“Everybody does it and you’re at that age. I mean I was 11 when I started to do that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean I get it. I really do. It feels good and it’s a nice way to relieve stress.”

“Is it true that if you do it too much, you’ll go blind?”

“God no. If it were, your Uncle Tony would be Stevie Wonder.”

“So, everybody does it?”

“Yes, and if they say they don’t, they’re either lying or they’re Mormon. Oh, and a word of advice, start locking your door. It was bad enough your mother had to witness that but think about the way your sister and your little brother likes to run into your room.”

“Sorry.”  
___________________________________  
“Back at the desk, huh, Amaro?”

“I’m gonna go blind staring at my laptop but at least I’m back at work,” he chuckled as Izzy sat at her desk across from his.

“How’s PT going?”

“Shouldn’t need the cane too much longer.”

“Damn, I was hoping you were gonna be walking around here like ‘House’. I was gonna get you one with flames on the bottom so it would look like you were going really fast.”

“Gee, thanks,” Nick kind of laughed.

“Well, I have to go to the ME’s office. Can’t sit down for 5 minutes, I swear,” Izzy said as she read a text from Liv.  
____________________________________________  
“Dr. Rudnick, are we interrupting?” Liv asked as she and Izzy walked in. 

“No, not at all. Just notating my initial findings. Found in Pelham Bay, so either she floated up as the water warmed, or CSU missed her in April?” 

“So, you think Yates did this?” 

“I can't say definitively, but there are findings consistent with Yates' MO, as well as evidence of injury, both vaginal and anal, consistent with rape.” 

“Even after this long in the water?” Izzy asked. 

“There's no question the skull was fractured just like those of the two flight attendants and Nadia.”

“Yeah, but this body was also dismembered. That's not part of Yates' MO.” 

“True,” he answered, “However, I can tell you the cuts were made by someone with surgical training. And another interesting detail microscopic traces of green nail polish under two fingernails.”

“Great so we either missed or…”

“Yates has a copycat,” Izzy said as they walked out. “Are you gonna let Rollins go talk to him?”

“I’m gonna have to, aren’t I?”

“He does like her.”

“He likes you, too. I want you to go with her to Green Haven.”

“Ugh, Liv, come on.”

“Hey, I’m open to another suggestion but you and I both know where this is headed.”

“Fine. You tell Rafael, though.”  
_________________________________________  
“Yates wants to touch his fiancé, Susie Frain?” Rafael asked as his wife, Rollins, and Liv stood in his office. “Hasn't he touched enough women already?” 

“Look, they've been together for 20 years. He's never hurt Susie.”

“And she's ok with conjugal visits?” 

“She called about it twice,” Rollins replied. 

“Every pot has a lid.” 

“Lovely. You do realize how this would look if word got out, right? Yates is already on the hook for multiple rapes and murder. Now he wants to trade crime tips for conjugal visits.” 

“If Yates is telling the truth, there could be another serial out there. So, pick your poison, honey.” 

“Fine. Bring the fiancé upstate. Let them conjugate and then interrogate both of them afterwards. You two better be right about this,” he told Rollins and his wife.  
________________________________________  
“Accusing the Deputy Chief ME of rape and murder? And they offered this conspiracy theory right after their conjugal visit. He worked you two,” Rafael snapped as the squad met in his office. 

“Or the fiancé worked us. Give Yates points. That's a bold move,” Fin said.

“I'm sorry. You all were right. We were wrong.” 

“Hold on, Rollins. Now, look, I'm still only mid-search, but there was a Lena Grunwald from Switzerland who went to Columbia at that time. Now, as far as I can tell, she never graduates, she just disappears off the grid in winter of 2002.” 

“You actually looked into this?” Rafael asked Carisi.

“Yeah, Counselor, I did, because if Yates is taking a flyer for an appeal, then we have to rule this out.”

“Carisi’s right,” Rafael replied, almost painfully. “Did Rudnick ever mention that he went to medical school with Yates?” 

“No, he didn't,” Izzy told him. “So, what if he did? Yates kidnapped, raped, tortured, and murdered Nadia. He is guilty. The only reason he's bringing up conflicting evidence is for his appeal.” 

“Still, if they did know each other, then Rudnick should have recused himself,” Rollins added. 

“That's easy enough to confirm. Then while you're at it, see if Rudnick has any connection to the town house in Harlem or if he even knew this supposed fiancé of Lena Grunwald.”  
__________________________________________  
“Ugh, I didn’t have time to shave thanks to you,” Rafael teased his wife a few mornings later.

“I was minding my own business, taking my shower, when you came in, and started feeling me up.”

“I didn’t hear you complaining. This shit with Yates and Rudnick...we both needed some stress relief.”

“I have to agree.”

“Oh Jesus, here comes Carisi.”

“Be nice, babe.”

“I finally heard back from my guy at TSA. Now, according to them, Lena Grunwald left JFK for Zurich on February 11, 2002.” 

“So? We can't pinpoint her time of death. She must have come back, been murdered sometime later,” Rafael told Carisi. 

“Yeah, but there's no record of her coming back. So, on a hunch, I looked at Rudnick's travel. Now, this guy he's got the opposite problem, all right? He returned from Paris to JFK on February 15th, but there's no record of him leaving the U.S. or even Canada.” 

“Okay, you got a theory to go with this travelogue?”

“What if Rudnick left the U.S. using Lena's passport and then came back as himself?” 

“You're suggesting he was able to pass as a woman post 9/11?” 

“Come on Raf, a red-haired lady with a Swiss passport so outside their profile, nobody took a second look at her," his wife responded, supporting Carisi's theory.

“And Rachel, the victim from the bay I mean, she was last seen leaving her shelter with a woman or someone dressed like one,” Rollins added. 

“Using facial-recognition software?” 

“We are. Olivia's headed to 1PP now to get the okay to bring Rudnick in for questioning.” 

“Call her off. We'll ask forgiveness later. For now, I'll find a pretext to invite him to my office.” 

“So, while he's with you, how about a warrant for his house. You know, knives, dresses who knows what we'll find?” Izzy asked him to which he just nodded.  
_____________________________________  
“Rollins you okay?”

“Huh? Yeah.”

“I’ve never seen you get sick at crime scene,” Izzy told her as they drove back from the beach where Susie Frain’s body had washed up.

“Bad bagel I guess.”

“Is it Nick’s?”

“What do you mean?”

“Amanda seriously?”

“No, it’s not but don’t say anything to anyone, please?”

“Not even to Barba but you are gonna have to tell Liv.”

“I just don’t want to do it and get put behind the desk already. I mean, we’re a man down until Nick is released from PT.”

“Just be careful.”

“I am.”  
__________________________________________  
“12 hours after Rudnick posts bail, a potential prosecution witness is found in pieces with the morning tide?!” 

“We're well aware of the problem, Counselor,” Liv told Rafael as he stormed into the precinct. 

“Where the hell is he?” 

“This is all we know, okay? He was last seen posting bond at 8:00 p.m. last night. Uber driver confirms dropping him off at his Harlem town house. So, sometime between last night and this morning, he goes to Susie Frain's apartment, he dismembers her, he bags the body, dumps her in the water at Fort Tilden, and then he disappears. We've got a BOLO out on his car, his credit, his bank cards. So far, no hits,” Izzy told him. 

“No sightings, no traffic cams. Does everyone know he dresses in drag?” 

“We've alerted state troopers and the FBI.” 

“Oh, they already know! The ME's office, the mayor's office, the people in my office…people are falling over themselves to point fingers.” To say the ADA was pissed was understatement.

“Okay, I get it. It's a mess, all right? No leave, no vacation, no…” Liv started before being interrupted by Rafael’s hand in her face as he answered his phone. 

“Just…Yes, I'll hold for the governor. Find him.”

“Wow. You not taking care of business at home, Izz?”

“Shut up, Carisi,” she and Amanda both said to him.  
_________________________________  
Rudnick had dressed like a woman using one of his many aliases, Ellie Howard, and made it to Buffalo on Meta Bus. Liv sent Nick and Izzy to get him.

“You okay, Nick?”

“Yeah. Just a little pain.”

“That’s the second Vicodin you’ve taken in 3 hours.”

“It’s been a long ride.”

“I get it. Just take it easy, okay?”

“I am. No worries.”

“We aren't actually going to drive all the way back to Manhattan, are we?” Dr. Rudnick asked. 

“Shut up,” Izzy moaned. “You took the bus up here anyway, right?” 

“Yes, when I was traveling incognito.” 

“What were you thinking, anyway, skipping out on a $2 million bail?” 

“Well, what were they thinking? They charged me with two murders, then let me go. Who wouldn't run?”

“They found his car,” Nick whispered as he got off the phone with Liv.

“Why are you whispering? Rudnick they found your car.”

“Well, give yourselves a gold star,” he remarked sarcastically.  
______________________________________  
“Rita actually thought I was going to settle for misdemeanors,” Rafael scoffed as he helped Izzy clean the kitchen. “She’s out of her fucking mind.”

“I can’t believe he’s got Buchanan, too.”

“I have my work cut out for me.”

“This should be easy.”

“Not really. There’s no established motive, the murders are spread over 13 years. I need that thigh to prove Susie’s cause of death.”

“It’s gone but like Liv said, you don’t need it.”

“I’m glad you guys have faith in me.”

“Don’t I always?”

“Yeah,” he smiled. 

“Daddy?”

“Yes, Matt?”

“Are you going to read to me?”

“I’ll be in there in just a little bit, mijo.”

“Okay.”

“Tell me you’re not reading The Harvard Law Review again.”

“He picked it, mi amor. You know what his teachers said. He’s got a 2nd grade reading level and he just finished kindergarten. Him and Rory are geniuses.”

“Oh lord,” she chuckled as she rolled her eyes. “You’re grooming him.”

“What for?”

“To carry on your legacy.”

“If he wants to go to law school, that’s up to him. He can go to medical school, I don’t care.”

“Then read him the New England Journal of Medicine.”

“That’s not what he wants to learn about. You never know. He might use this knowledge and follow in your footsteps. Maybe even join the FBI.”

“Go.”  
_________________________________  
A video was found of Rudnick talking to himself, confessing to his crimes, while he waited for Rita the first day Rafael and Liv questioned him. Buchanan tried to argue that the tape was inadmissible but Judge Bertuccio told him differently. The defense had a copy of the tape the whole time and had shut it off after Rafael and Liv walked out. Rudnick had no choice but to change his plea to “guilty”.

“I bet Barba’s glad that video came through.”

“You have no idea, Nick. I mean the case against him was solid but the jury seemed to actually like him.”

“He’s always been a creepy little man to me.”

“I always thought it was bullshit he was brought up from Miami-Dade when Melinda should’ve gotten that promotion.”

“Agreed, Izz,” Fin said as he walked up. “As long as she’s been there. No question she should’ve had that job.”

“Well, I’m gonna call it a night. Meeting with my physical therapist tomorrow. Hopefully I can get away from this fucking desk,” Nick said as he got up. 

“At least you’re not having to use that cane or the crutches anymore.”

“Yeah, that’s a plus, Fin. See you guys tomorrow.”

“Hey, he doing okay?”

“He says he is, Fin. I’m a little worried though.”

“What about? Think he won’t be able to keep with us?”

“No. He’s popping those pain pills a lot closer together than he should be.”

“That’s what those doctor’s do. Get you hooked on that shit then won’t help you get off of them. Surely, though, Nick knows better.”

“I hope.”


	83. Chapter 83

Nick had been acting more agitated once he was cleared from PT and returned to active duty. Fin and Carisi thought it was due to Amanda’s pregnancy but he swore it wasn’t. They were never “together” just had a little fling that had ended after the AJ Martin case in 2014.

He had been partnered back with Izzy but they got a long as always.

“Hey, Nick do you have double phone charger for the car?”

“Uh, sure, Izz. It’s in my top right hand drawer. Phone already dead?”

“More like I forgot to charge it last night after we separated Cami and Rory for the 900th time.”

“Is that all they do?”

“It has been lately. I’ll meet you down in the car.”

“Alright.”

Izzy opened the drawer and saw a prescription bottle with no label. She recognized the pills without having to open the bottle.

“Hey, Izz?”

“Yeah, Liv,” she said as she quickly shoved the bottle back into the drawer.

“You and Amaro going to talk Darius’ mom?”

“Yep, that’s where we’re headed.”

“Okay. Stop by and talk to Pippa if you can.”

“No problem.”  
____________________________________________  
“You think he’s…addicted?”

“I don’t know, Rafa. I mean I opened the drawer and they were. I know what Vicodin looks like. That bottle was crammed full, too.”

“Maybe he’s not using them. Have you guys taken anything off of anyone?”

“No Vicodin. Just a few joints but I logged those into evidence.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to talk to him but I don’t want to piss him off, especially if it’s not something…”

“Babe he has a controlled substance in his desk, more than likely illegally.”

“Can you get me an order to disclose so I can see if he’s still being prescribed them?”

“Mi amor you know better than that. Look, Nick has been one of your best friends since 98. If you just talk to him, he might be honest with you.”

“I don’t want to get him into in trouble. Maybe I should talk to Liv.”

“You think he’d tell Rollins?”

“No. They’re not as close as they used to be, especially with her being pregnant.”

“Speaking of, has she told you who the father is?”

“No but I have a good idea.”

“Really?”

“Given the time line, remember the blizzard after Abuelita passed away?”

“Yeah. Ella couldn’t stop trying to hit RJ in the nuts with snowballs,” he chuckled.

“Well, she had told me that before Declan went back under, they hung out that weekend.”

“Murphy? No way.”

“Yep.”

“A little surprised I gotta say,” he shrugged.  
______________________________________  
“Izz?”

“Yeah, Liv?”

“Can I see you in my office for a sec?”

“Uh, sure,” she said as she got up from her desk. “Don’t ask me who the father of Amanda’s baby…”

“That’s not why I called you in here,” Liv snickered before turning more serious. “What’s going on with your partner?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is there something I need to know?”

"I don't..."

"I know he's your friend and your partner but don't lie to me, please," Liv told her.

“Okay, so a few days ago, I was getting something out of his desk and I found an unlabeled bottle of Vicodin in his drawer.”

“And you kept this from me why?”

“Because I don’t know…”

“This is something I needed to know. If he’s no longer under a doctor’s care with those and he’s self-medicating, we have a problem. If another shooting like happened a few years was to happen and that was found in his system, there goes his job and pension.”

“I know! I can question suspects all day but asking one of my oldest friends if he’s abusing pain pills?”

“I know. Okay. So, we have to figure this out. It’s been 4 months since his injury. Surely, he can’t be that far down.”

“It’s a powerful drug, Liv.”

“We’ll figure this out.”  
________________________________  
“Nick thank you for coming in.”

“Eh, I had to pick up something I left in my desk anyways, Liv. Is this about the Avery Parker case?”

“Uh no. What were you needing out of your desk?”

“It was nothing. I guess it’s at home. I’ll just have to look harder when I get back.”

“Wouldn’t be these, would it?” Izzy asked as she took the pills from her jacket pocket.

“Where did you find those?”

“In your desk.”

“You went through my stuff?!”

“Nick! Calm down!” Liv instructed.

“No, this isn’t right, Liv, and you know it! So, you went through my desk and immediately came to Benson? And I’m guessing you called Dodds.”

“No, that’s not what happened. I noticed a change in you and I asked her. That’s when she told me about the pills. Are you still under a doctor’s care with those?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re lying, Nick,” Izzy told him. 

“Okay, fine. Once I was cleared for duty, doctor said I didn’t need them anymore but I’m still in pain.”

“So, you bought these off the street? You could’ve bought from a UC.”

“I know the guy, okay? He’s from my old neighborhood.”

“And I’m guessing you promised to look out for him.”

“I had to get him to trust me.”

“Well, if he does get pinched, you know you lied.”

“I know, Liv.”

“How bad is this?”

“It wasn’t bad at first. They kept the pain away for 4-6 hours. Then the pain wasn’t staying gone but for maybe 3 hours.”

“How many are you taking a day, Nick?”

“8? 10?”

“I want you in rapid detox today. I will cover for you with Dodds and 1PP.”

“Liv come on.”

“You either do this or I will take your badge and gun. After everything you have been through over the years, is that how you want to go down?”

“No, Liv.”

“Didn’t think so. Izzy’s gonna drive you.”

“But Gil…”

“I’ll talk to Cynthia,” Izzy told him.

“Thanks.”  
_________________________________  
“How’s Amaro doing?”

“Uh, he sounded good when I talked to him last night, Carisi. Really good,” Izzy told him.

“He’s had it rough the last year or so. The thing with his dad, the divorce, then getting shot.

“Yeah, but one thing you should know about Nicholas Amaro, he’s a fighter,” Izzy said of her partner who had been gone for 2 weeks.

“I thought he was doing the rapid thing and he’d be back by now.”

“He doesn’t want to chance a relapse.”

“Good for him. Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, Carisi.”

“He’s not the father of Amanda’s baby, is he?”

“You know, Carisi…you’d have to ask her.”

“I get it.”


	84. Chapter 84

“Married? You two went and got married without telling anyone?” Rafael asked his mother and Dodds when they told him, Mike, and Izzy the news.

“You did the same thing 15 years ago didn’t you?”

“We’re not talking about me, Mami.”

“You guys have only been seeing each other for a few months,” Mike piped up.

“And? We’re adults. We can make our own decisions,” his father told him.

“We love each other and we’re not getting any younger,” Lucia added.

“Did you call Matt and let him know?”

“I called but he didn’t answer, as per usual. Can you guys just be happy for us?”

“If you’re happy, I’m happy for you, Dad. Nice to have a real mom around again.” Mike’s mother was more of the hippie type, living in an Ashram in India.

“Rafi?”

“Yeah, Mami. As long as you’re happy.”

“I am, mijo.”

Izzy just sat there, not really saying anything. She was waiting on her husband to flip out but he surprisingly didn’t. 

“Well, now, why don’t we get our grandchildren and go have a nice family dinner?”

“YOUR grandkids?”

“Rafa,” Izzy quietly scolded.

“Right. They are your grandkids now after all.”  
_______________________________  
“I have to convene a grand jury. The DA says it's my last chance to work my way back into the good graces of City Hall,” Rafael told his wife and Liv as they stood in his office after 22-year-old college student Terrance Reynolds was gunned outside his apartment building by 3 cops. 

“So, they're hanging you out to dry,” Liv remarked. 

“Politicians want an indictment. The DA wants an indictment. If I fail to get it, it's on me.” 

“So, you'll push for one, even though those officers were just doing their jobs?” 

“Their jobs? They fired at an unarmed college student 35 times.” 

“We were in hot pursuit of a dangerous rapist. Terrence matched the BOLO down to his jersey, he ran…”

“A black man in a basketball jersey runs when he gets stopped by the police? You're right, he deserves the death penalty.” 

“That's not what I'm saying. Izzy you were there. Would you explain to your husband they followed protocol?” 

She just stood there, looking between her now Lieutenant and her husband.

“Elizabeth?”

“35 times, Liv?”

“Izzy you can’t be serious?”

“I’ve never emptied my clip when shooting at a suspect, even with a gun pointed at me.”

“Wow. Siding with the DA over your brothers and sisters in blue.”

“Liv don’t do that to her,” Rafael spat. “Especially since you were the one that brought her into this.”  
______________________________  
“We find out about our suspension by hearing it on the news? A lot of respect,” Campisi said as she, Doom, and Donlon sat at a bar on the lower east side. 

“Get used to it. City Hall's looking for sacrificial lambs,” Doom replied. 

“Hey,” Izzy said as she walked up.

“What are you doing here?” Donlon asked rudely. 

“She came to meet me,” Campisi told him. 

“Well, I was just leaving. I got my wife and kids crying at home.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna go, too. See ya, Izz.”

“Bye, Doom.”

“Sorry about those guys.” –

“It's all right. You guys are under a lot of stress.” 

“Yeah. About that…any idea where your husband’s going with this?” 

“Honestly, I don't,” Izzy answered her. 

“Your Lieutenant, Fin, and Carisi were all on the scene. SVU's got our back, right?” 

“We know you're good cops.” 

“He was cornered. His hand went to his waist. That's when you use deadly force. He was guilty of something. Why else would he run?” 

“Maybe it's best not to talk about this in public. Come on, how about I give you a lift home?” 

“You think I'm drunk? Mm. I'm fine. What difference does it make? They're gonna hang us, aren't they?”

Izzy didn’t know how to answer her longtime friend and former partner. She finally talked her into letting her take her home.  
_______________________________  
Campisi and Donlon were indicted for manslaughter one while Doom was indicted for reckless endangerment.

“Son of a bitch Barba,” Campisi scoffed as a lot of the NYPD gathered in a bar to raise money for their defense fund.

“Yeah, good luck next time he needs a cop,” Donlon added.

“What are you doing here?” Louise asked when Izzy walked up.

“Can we just talk?”

“She has nothing to say to you.”

“Donlon you’re drunk.”

“So, what if I am? What did you say up there, huh?!”

“I didn’t come here for this.”

“Izzy there’s nothing that can be said.”

“It’s just an indictment.”

“After today, I don’t trust a New York jury.”

“Come on. Don’t think like that.”

“What am I supposed to think? Barba knows me and still…”

“He had to do his job, Louise.”

“Sure, he did. Manslaughter? Really?”

“The jury…”

“Just save it, Izz. We were friends. I’m Rory’s godmother.”

“I know but…”

“Just doing his job. I got it.”

“Louise.”

“I’ll see you in 5-10.”

Izzy knew there was no reasoning with Campisi so she told Fin, Amanda, and Carisi bye and started home.

She kept feeling like she was being followed as she walked. She decided to stop by a small market not far from their house to pick up a few things for dinner. She still couldn’t shake the feeling she was being watched though. Maybe it was in her head due to the days events and the Terrance Reynolds shooting.

She paid for the groceries she had bought and started back home. As she was putting her key in the door, she heard a shot ring out and her shoulder felt like it was on fire.  
Luckily Jonathan heard the shot and came to the door, finding his employer’s blood all over her steps, the groceries scattered.  
_______________________________________  
“What’s her status?” Liv asked Amanda as she met her in the ER.

“She’s still in surgery. Barba’s a mess.”

“What happened?”

“He got her on her doorstep as she was coming home from getting groceries.”

“Do we have any suspects?”

“Just a white male, early 40s.”

“That’s it?”

“So far.”

“Can it get any worse?”

“It might. The Mayor’s on his way up.”

“Great. So, they’re thinking retaliation for Terrance Reynolds?”

“Maybe,” Amanda shrugged. “They would’ve had to have known she was a cop.”

“Where’s Barba?”

“Pacing outside the OR. Nick and Fin are with him.”

“What about the kids?”

“Dodds and Barba’s mom got them.”

“Okay,” she said as she patted Amanda on the shoulder before going to find Barba. Fin met her halfway down the hall.

“I don’t know if I’d go talk to him right now.”

“Why not?”

“He punched the wall, Liv. He’s convinced someone did this to get back at him. He’s blaming himself.”

“He thinks another cop did this?”

Fin just kind of nodded.

“No. That’s not possible.”

“Liv as long as we’ve been on the job, we’ve both seen our share of dirty cops. Cops that set up their own. Remember what happened with Lake?”

“Mr. Barba?”

“Yes?”

“She’s gonna be fine,” the surgeon told him.

“Thank god,” he sighed.

“It was straight through and through, barely missing the artery.”

“Okay. Can I see her?”

“She’s sort of in and out but yeah, I’ll take you to her.”

Rafael noticed Liv standing with Fin and she just sort of nodded to him with a small smile.

“I have never seen Barba so…emotional,” Nick said as the three of them headed to the waiting room to let everyone know she was okay.  
__________________________________  
“Hey.”

“Raf?”

“It’s me,” he smiled as she took her left hand and kissed it.

“Don’t cry,” she told him.

“All I knew was that you got shot. I didn’t know where or how bad it was…I was scared out of my mind.”

“I’m fine though. Amanda took a shot like this a few years ago, remember?”

“Yeah. Doesn’t make it any less scary,” he told her as he pushed the hair off of her face. “Did you see…”

“No. Where are the kids?”

“Mami and the Chief have them. The boys went to Mike’s actually.”

“Okay.”

“Hey,” Liv said quietly as she came in the room. “I hate to do this but…”

“I know, Liv.”

“Detective Dunbar is gonna come in and ask you some questions. You know the drill.”

“Yeah. That’s fine.”

“Hey, girl,” Dunbar smiled when she came in.

“I’ll be right outside, mi amor,” Rafael told her before giving her a small kiss.

“Now how is your dumb ass gonna get shot?”

“Shut up, Donna,” she laughed. “Just ask the questions.”

Dunbar did her job and took Izzy’s statement, not without a few jokes in between.

“Yeah. Okay. I can meet you in 15,” Dunbar told someone over the phone. “Well, might have a witness.”

“Already?”

“Yeah. Don’t get your hopes up just yet. I’ll be in touch though.”

“Okay.”

“You want that fine husband of yours back in here?” 

“You know I do.”

“Take care of yourself, Izz. I’ll see if I can’t find the fucker that did this to you.”

“Thanks.”  
______________________________________  
Izzy ended up getting an infection and had to stay in the hospital for a few extra days. Dunbar and Campisi came in one afternoon while Izzy was waiting on Rafael to bring her something decent to eat.

“What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to check on you,” Campisi answered quietly.

“She’s also the witness that called me,” Dunbar told Izzy.

“What?”

“It was Donlon.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“I watched him follow you out of the bar. He came back and told me that a message had been sent.”

“How did he have a gun?”

“Grabbed a rookie’s who didn’t even realize it.”

“Who is he, David Blaine?”

“He confessed Izzy.”

“What does this mean for you?” 

“My lawyer’s got a meeting with your husband. Indictment isn’t going to be dropped but the charges with be reduced.”

“Good.”

“I’m sorry about that day…”

“Under the bridge,” Izzy told her. “Thank you.”

“I couldn’t keep that to myself. Right now, I’m still a cop. I took an oath and I’m sticking with it until they tell me I can’t.”


	85. Chapter 85

“Aren’t you supposed to be on medical leave still, Shorty?”

“I have had just about enough of bad reality TV I can stand for a lifetime. So, I got my father in law to sign off on light duty.”

“Using your connections, I see,” he laughed.

“Amanda you still haven’t had that baby,” Izzy teased as she sat at her desk.

“No. When do you get out of that apparatus?”

“Two more weeks, thank God. So, how’s the Sergeant working out?”

“You mean Barba’s brother?”

“Don’t let him hear you say that, Nick.”

“What? No brotherly bonding taking place?”

“Hardly,” Izzy scoffed.

“There you are,” Liv smiled as she lightly hugged Izzy.

“Yes, thank you for talking Dodds into letting me come back early.”

“I know how bored you get,” Liv laughed. “Remember…”

“Light duty, I know.”

“And I’ve been doing some swapping around with Amanda being on desk duty.”

“Okay?”

“I thought you and your…brother in law could partner up for the time being.”

“Uh…okay.”

“Hey, you’re back,” Mike said as he walked up. “Guess the Lieutenant told you.”

“She did.”

“Okay, so keeping with the light duty, why don’t the two of you go talk to this Pastor Eldon about Lane Baker.”

“Lane Baker? As in ‘Baker’s Dozen’ Lane Baker?”

“You watch that?”

“What else was I going to do while I was off?”

“Come on, Detective. I’ll get you up to speed in the car.”

“Sure thing…Sergeant.”

“Please, just call me Mike.”

“I’ll address you as Sergeant while we’re at work, Mike. You’re driving,” she said as she threw the keys at him.

“Copy that.” 

“Good luck,” Liv smiled at Dodds.  
___________________________________________  
“All right, not to interrupt a theological debate, but given the fact that there's no evidence of an assault no complaint from the girl or her parents I mean, why are we pursuing?” 

“She's 13, Dodds. It's statutory rape,” Liv told him. 

“Yeah, I know that, but I've been here before. The Hasidim in Crown Heights, these religious communities they close ranks.”

“Which is exactly why we don't let it go,” Izzy retorted. “Lane lives in an insular environment. Whoever got her pregnant is a predator with access. I’d bet a month’s salary on it.”

“I may have found something. Their entire life is an open blog. You guys said that the doctors think that Lane is 10 to 12 weeks pregnant, right? Which means it happened probably September or August. In July, right?” Rollins said as she looked up from her laptop. “When they were here, in Harlem, doing some mission work. Lane and some of her siblings. Look.” 

“That's probable cause for statutory rape in New York City.” 

“You want me and Carisi to take another run at them in the hospital?” 

“Amanda, you're on desk duty.”

“I'm at the hospital every week. Come on. I'm the only one here that's actually seen this reality show.”

“Nice try, Amanda. Izzy binged it while she was on medical leave. So, Dodds, you've had experience with insular religious communities? You and Izzy go,” Liv instructed. 

“Is the lieutenant always this proactive?” Mike asked when they got in the elevator. 

“There a problem?” 

“It's just when this happened with the Hasidim in Brooklyn, the D.A. called us off. It's like my father says pick your battles.” 

“Oh, your father was my commanding officer in Homicide, so I know the way he works. Listen, Liv's been doing this a while. If she thinks something's wrong, it is. Trust me on this.”  
________________________________  
“She named the camera man, Pete Matthews but he’s had a vasectomy?”

“Melinda just called and told me there’s no way he fathered Lane’s baby,” Izzy told Liv.

“What does Barba say?”

“He has no interest in compelling an amnio a blood test, Nick.”

“See? Even Barba knows this is political suicide for DA,” Carisi remarked.

“And he told Izzy that we have to have Graham dead to rights before he’ll even consider charging.”

“Well, that’s gonna be tough, Liv. He’s on his way to a mission to Ecuador as we speak. I checked their extradition treaty. Swiss cheese has more holes,” Rollins shrugged.

“So, we just wait six months until the baby's born and prove it then,” Fin offered. 

“Wait, we're gonna stay on this for six months? Lane won't testify, and the family sent the doer to Ecuador,” Dodds said. 

“Guys, I don't want to hear this, all right? This is not about adolescent curiosity. He is a predator, right? If he did it once, he's gonna do it again,” Liv told them. 

“And he could have done it before. Okay, so I’ve been watching and they cover almost every moment of each pregnancy, from the first trimester all the way into labor, except for when Pam is pregnant with Tate.” 

“Which one is Tate?” 

“He's the two-year-old. The youngest, Carisi.” 

“And every kid is spaced out two years apart or more, but Tate was born only 11 months after his older brother pier.”

“They could be Irish twins. 

“Maybe, Dodds. But Pam announced four previous pregnancies by the third month, right? With Tate she waits until she's seven months in. And this, look This was posted to their website just a few weeks before that announcement. That far along, and she looks like that?” 

“Rollins, when you were seven months you were like…”

“Carisi,” Izzy scolded. “So, you’re thinking that maybe Graham got one of his sisters pregnant? Which one?”

“I’m guessing Summer.”

“Rollins might be right. I watched one of the season finales last week. Three years ago she's 12, he's 14, and in the season finale, Pam and Summer go to Michigan to visit a sick aunt. I mean, they're only in, like, one scene, and that's via facetime.” 

“Okay, we still have the same issues. Graham is in Ecuador, and the family won't help,” Dodds again.

“Remember when the kids were here and I had to play Uncle Sonny? Well, Tate got cold, so I gave him my jacket. He drooled all over it.” 

“You didn't take it to the dry cleaner?” Izzy asked him. 

“No, I’m not like Barba. I only wore it twice.”   
___________________________________  
“Random man not excluded. Christ,” Izzy muttered when they were told Tate was only a partial match to Graham and there was no way he was Tate’s father.

“Okay, so we're thinking there are two separate predators in her circle?” Fin asked. 

“Look, it's a pretty closed community. I mean, you've got the family, you've got the crew, you've got you've got that pastor. Damn it. Pastor Eldon. He was on that east Harlem mission trip in July with Lane, right?” 

“I think so, Liv,” Izzy replied as she opened her laptop. 

“Is there any chance we could put him with Summer three years ago?” 

“Checking that now.” 

“Remember I told you about Crown Heights? One of the cases involved three pregnant girls in the same synagogue. Well, now, we always thought it was the rabbi, but we couldn't make the case. No one was willing to say a bad word about him,” Mike offered. 

“Well, no one in this family's gonna say a bad word about that pastor.”

“Wait. I got something on their blog. Pastor Eldon and Summer, 2012. Christmas giving out gifts. At the east Harlem mission. He gets them away from home. That's his MO.” 

“Izzy call Barba and tell him what you’ve found.”

“Copy that, Lieutenant.”  
______________________________________  
“So, Dodds, you still think this was a waste of time?” Izzy asked her new partner as they watched the Baker’s press conference, telling their fans the truth about the father of Tate and Lane’s unborn child.

“No, I get it. I just thought SVU would be taking rapists off the streets, not out of the churches.” 

“Well, something I’ve learned here and my time at Brooklyn SVU, Dodds, most rapists don't hunt on the streets. They hunt where they're trusted.”

“Just another son of a bitch hiding behind the collar.”

“Feel like a drink?”

“Uh, you sure?”

“Yeah. My husband is still in his office with Pastor Eldon’s lawyer and our Nanny is well paid,” she said with a smile.

“Yeah, okay.”

“Come on. I’m buying.”

“Well, I would assume so since you’re married to a DA.”

“Ohhh, Mini-Dodds has jokes.”

“I kind of get the feeling Barba doesn’t really…like me.”

“You just have to get to know him, Mike.”

“I understand. I hope I’m not over-stepping any boundaries taking the boys to games and stuff.”

“Nah. They enjoy it and he’s glad they have someone that will take them to do that kind of stuff.”

“RJ seems to be interested in football I’ve noticed.”

“Yeah, he is. His dad told him he could play next year when he’s in the sixth grade.”

“I could help him if he needs it. I played when I was younger.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Dodds.”  
______________________________________  
“Babe?”

“I’m coming, Raf!” She called from the kitchen. She had been making him some tea and soup. She found him in their bed with a file in his hand. “What did I tell you about working while you’re sick?”

“We’ve got the Hodda trial coming up.”

“And, nothing is going to change the fact that he’s guilty. Just because he decided at the 25th hour he didn’t want to accept your deal…”

“Soup’s too hot!”

“Oh my god, Rafael Eduardo Barba! Are you serious?”

“Can you put it in the refrigerator for me for just a minute?”

“It can sit on the tray until it cools off,” she told him as he took the file out of his hand.

“Hey! I need…”

“To eat and rest. You still have a fever,” she said as felt his head. “Drink your tea and eat your soup while I go get the thermometer and your medicine.”

“Fine,” he pouted.

He had been extremely whiny so she decided to have a little fun with him.

“Rafa?”

“Huh?”

“Bad news. The ear thermometer is dead and we don’t have any extra batteries.”

“So?”

“So, the only other we have is the one I used on the kids when they were babies before we got the other one.”

“And just where the hell do you think you’re putting that?”

She kinda gave him a look that said, “I think you know where”.

“No way.”

“Oh, come on, Rafa, I need to take your temperature.”

“Abso-fucking-lutely not. I’d rather die. I’m not a baby.”

“You could’ve fooled me with the way you’ve been acting.”

“I haven’t had my temperature taken like that way since I was 3. Hell no, uh-uh.”

They just stared at each other for what seemed like forever. 

“Ugh, fine,” he relented. 

“Look, I’ll use our lube. Just roll over and sit still.”

“I can’t believe I’m letting you do this.”

“Close your eyes and relax. It’ll only take a minute.”

He closed his eyes and felt his wife’s hand on the small of his back as she moved his flannel pajama bottoms down just a little bit but then felt something in this ear.

“You ass,” he said as his wife held up the ear thermometer as she laughed. “That was wrong.”

“But so funny!”

“Okay. Just for that, as soon as I’m better, I’m sticking my dick in your ass.”

That comment coming from him caught her so off guard, she just died laughing. “You think I’m scared?”

“I’ll think of something.”

“Well, on the plus side, your fever has went down some.”

“I still feel like shit.”

“Poor, Papi.”

“How is it you never get sick?”

“Moms don’t get sick, babe,” she smiled. “Now, finish your soup and tea, take your medicine and then a nap. I might bring you back your files.”

“Okay,” he smirked. “Hey. Love you.”

“I love you, Raf. Now, do what I said, Papi.”

“Yes, ma’am.”  
_____________________________________  
“How’s it going?”

“With Carisi following my every move? Are you serious?”

“He can’t be that bad, Raf.”

“Well, he is keeping his mouth shut for once.”

“I can’t believe Huang testified for Hassler.”

“You and me both. Look, mi amor. I have my closing argument in an hour.”

“Okay, well, I’m gonna go see Rollins and Jesse. See you at home?”

“Of course. Are you cooking tonight?”

“I can.”

“Don’t. I’ll pick something up.”

“Aw, thanks, Raf. Okay, good luck.”

“I need it. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”  
____________________________  
“I can’t believe you had to go in on a Sunday.”

“I’m sorry, cariño. This jury…I have never seen something like this happen.”

“You think they might come through with something?”

“I have no idea. Oh, fuck me.”

“What?” 

“That fucking Lomatin is walking towards me. I’ll call you as soon as I know something. Tell the boys I’m sorry I couldn’t take them to the game.”

“They understand. I’ll call your brother and see if he’s busy. Okay, love you.”

“He’s not my brother and love you, too.”

“Mr. Barba! I've been trying to reach you. I left seven messages.”

“Oh, well, for one, you just interrupted a phone call with my wife and for another, there's nothing to talk about. The case has already gone to the jury.” 

“Oh no, that's the thing, one of the jurors, Juror Number Four, Thomas Johnson, he lied.” 

“Wait, how do you how did you know his name?” 

“I gave a court clerk 50 bucks.” 

“You committed…you bribed a court clerk?” 

“I checked Johnson out. He was arrested in Maryland for assault last year. The charges were dropped, but he lost his job.”

“And you know this how?”

“I went to his house in my uniform and I talked to his sister. It's him. He's on the jury, and he doesn't like cops.” 

“You committed bribery, impersonated a real police officer, and you tampered with a juror?” 

“He could be in that room right now, poisoning the entire jury. You have to tell the judge.” 

“And ask for what? A mistrial? It's too late to bring in an alternate.” 

“I didn't know that. I should have acted faster, but I did find it out. You'll tell the NYPD what I did, won't you?” 

“Oh, yeah. You can count on it,” he said as he walked off and grabbed his phone.

“Hey, baby.”

“You are not going to believe this shit…” he started telling his wife about the information he had just found out.

The jury was hopelessly deadlocked on Lewis Hodda’s trial for the 1999 murder of Hector Rodriquez so the other child he had abducted a couple of years prior, Wyatt Morris, would testify in Hodda’s new trial.


	86. Chapter 86

“I’m just saying, I think it would be a nice gesture to invite Mike out with you and the guys.”

“Why are you pushing this, Izz?”

“He’s a nice guy, a good cop, and like it or not your step-brother. I don’t think Carisi, Nick, Tony, and Fin would mind.”

“This is my one night a week to relax, hang out, play pool, talk about…guy stuff.”

“Guy stuff? Like what?”

“Just…stuff. Sports.”

“You talk about sports? Come on, Rafa. I’m blond, not stupid.”

“Hey, I talk about the Yankees.”

“Come on. Get to know him. Let the guys get to know him.”

“Ugh, fine,” he said as he rolled his eyes.

“I bet you’ll have more fun than you think.”

“Yeah, we’ll see,” he scoffed. “I’m gonna get changed before I leave.”  
_______________________________  
“No way.”

“Yeah, Carisi I got it done one night after a few too many,” Mike said talking about his nipple piercing.

“Didn’t that hurt?”

“Not really, Nick. I was drunk.”

“How many tattoos do you have?”

“About six. What about you guys?”

“I have a couple,” Nick answered.

“Not me,” Fin laughed.

“I’m too scared of needles,” Carisi added.

“Barba?”

“I have one,” he told him after he sunk his last shot to beat Nick. He took off his wedding ring and showed his wife’s badge number.

“I didn’t know you had that,” Carisi mentioned.

“He got that after we graduated law school,” Tony told them.

“You won’t get any more?”

“My wife has enough for both of us. Come on, Tony, you’re next.”

“You’re not taking my money tonight, Barba. I got a case to prepare. I’ll see you bastards.”

“I’ll play.”

“Brother against brother,” Nick laughed. “I’ll warn you, Dodds, he knows how to play.”

“Yeah but you’re not that hard to beat, Amaro,” Fin joked.

“I’ve beat you a time or two, Fin, if you’ll remember,” Rafael smirked.

“A’ight, a’ight. Just play.”  
____________________________________  
Fin ended up leaving after watching a few games. The other four ended up getting very drunk.

Izzy was woken up by the doorbell ringing a few times.

“Hey baby,” her husband smiled as he stumbled in.

“Where’s your key?”

“In my pocket I think.”

“Oh my god, will you get in here?”

“Always so bossy.”

She just rolled her eyes as she helped him to their room. She started to remove the light green sweater he was wearing as he grabbed her hips. “Babe?”

“Hmm?”

“Do me,” he said as his eyes got huge.

“Do I have to remind you of the night in college when you had too much to drink and couldn’t get it up?”

“I didn’t have too much tonight.”

“I beg to differ. I’m having to help you get undressed, I’d say you had too much.”

“Pfft, fine. Your loss,” he slurred as he kicked off his pants and fell back on the bed.

“You don’t want a clean t-shirt?”

“Nah, I’m good.”  
___________________________________  
“How do you feel this morning?”

“How do I look?” Rafael groaned as he sat at the kitchen island and his wife handed him a cup of coffee.

“Like the morning after college graduation.”

“I need a haircut,” he groaned as he pushed his hair off his forehead.

“I like the longer hair.”

“Ow!”

“What’s wrong?”

“I feel like somebody twisted the fuck out of my nipple. We didn’t have sex last night.”

“And I never twist your nipples,” she laughed as she handed him a plate of bacon. For some reason, that always made him feel better after a night of heavy drinking.

“The kids already gone to school?”

“Yep and I called Carmen and told her to clear your schedule for the day.”

“Thank you. I can’t ‘people’ today. Jesus.”

“Does it hurt that bad?

“It really does. What the…oh yeah.”

“What?”

“I remember now.”

“You remember what, Rafa?”

He lifted up his shirt to reveal a bar going through his left nipple.

“Oh…my…god. You didn’t.”

“Apparently I did.”

“Rafa you are 41 years old,” she laughed.

“Hey, Nick and Carisi did it, too. Carisi screamed like a girl.”

“What possessed you three to do that?”

“Well, Mike was telling us about his, fast-forward to too many glasses of scotch and the four of us were at a tattoo and piercing shop on Bleecker.”

“What happened to Tony and Fin?”

“They cut out on us early.”

“I can’t believe you got your nipple pierced.”

“You want me to take it out after the swelling goes down?”

“Actually…no.”

“Seriously?”

“Leave it in. I mean who’s gonna know besides the guys and me?”

“It turns you on, doesn’t it?”

“Uh…well…yeah, kind of,” she admitted with pink cheeks.

She handed him some Advil and an ice pack, placing a kiss on his forehead. “Okay, well, I’m off to work, handsome. Get some rest.”

“I will.”  
_____________________________________   
“How you feeling, Carisi?” Izzy teased as she patted his chest.

“Ow! Ow! Don’t do that!”

“What’s wrong?” Fin asked.

“You don’t want to know,” Carisi told him.

“Where’s Nick and Mike?” Izzy asked.

“Nick is in the bathroom calling dinosaurs and Dodds…well he took a personal day. How drunk did you guys ended up getting?”

“Way too drunk, Fin. Rafael couldn’t find his keys and had to ring the doorbell for me to let him in,” Izzy answered.

“I practically crawled from my elevator to my door,” Carisi replied.

“Good god,” he laughed. “I’m glad I left when I did.”

“Be very glad.”

Carisi just looked at her as if to beg her not to say a word.  
____________________________________  
“Performance reviews? Okay,” Liv said as Dodds came in her office while she and Izzy were discussing their Christmas plans. 

“It's just part of my duties as sergeant. We've been running up overtime. I think we can work more efficiently.” 

“And you have some ideas about that?” 

“Yeah. Take Carisi. He's studying for the bar, trailing Barba. I'm not so sure his focus is here.” 

“He's learning the law. He's becoming a better cop.” 

“And Rollins is she really coming back? I mean, we both saw her with her baby. Seems like motherhood is her priority.”

“You can be a good mother and good at your job, too, Dodds. Are you going to tell me that having 5 kids affects my ability to do my job” Izzy snapped at her brother in law.

“Of course not. It's just, uh I think we need someone here who's all about the job.” 

“I've got you, Nick, and I've got Fin. Izzy puts in her fair share of OT herself.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Me? I'm still getting up to speed. Plus, Nick, I mean he doesn’t have the speed he used to.” 

“And Fin. He knows more than anyone else here, including Liv. Don't underestimate him," Izzy told him.

“It's just that He's a kicker. He boots any call he can to someone else.” 

“That's not true,” Liv told him. “Nick is still working through some pain. He’s as sharp as he’s ever been.”

“Forgive me if I’ve spoken out of turn,” Mike said as he excused himself.

“Who the hell does he think he is?”

“He’s a go-getter, that’s for sure,” Liv scoffed.

“They couldn’t have given us someone…”

“Izz I asked you and Fin both to take the Sergeant’s exam and you both turned me down so here’s where we are.”

“I got it, I got it.”


	87. Chapter 87

“Everything looks and smells great, Izzy.”

“Thanks, Chief, uh Bill,” she told her father in law after the food was set out for Christmas dinner. This year, everyone else had plans so it was just family. Stella, Anthony, and Tony came as well.

“Uncle Mike after dinner can we go throw around my new football I got for Christmas?”

“Sure, RJ. Sounds good to me.”

“Can I play, too?”

“Matty me and Uncle Mike throw too hard for you.”

“I think Matty could join us,” Mike told his nephew.

“Okay,” he shrugged.

Everyone was talking and eating, Cami was sulking because she couldn’t go to her boyfriend’s like she wanted.

“Hey, Daddy?”

“What’s up, Matty?”

“I have a question.”

“Okay.”

“Do dragons fart fire?”

Everyone got quiet as Rafael searched for an answer. “Well, uh, I don’t know.”

“I thought you went to college,” he replied as he rolled his eyes. Anthony, Bill, Mike, and Tony just lost it.

“I guess I missed that class. Tony, Izz, you guys remember that class at Harvard?”

“Nope can’t say I do,” Izzy laughed.

Once everyone stopped laughing, they went back to more adult conversations.

“Cami what’s wrong with you tonight? It’s Christmas,” Stella asked her oldest granddaughter.

“Ask your daughter.”

“Don’t speak to your grandmother like that, Camila,” her father told her.

“Sorry, Nonna. Can I just be excused?”

“Fine. Go,” Rafael said as he waved her away with his hand. “Ah-ah, your plate?”

“I’m getting it.”

After she went upstairs to her room, Stella asked her daughter.

“She’s 15 going on 25, that’s what.”

“She’s mad cause she wanted to go to her boyfriend’s for dinner tonight and we told her no,” Rafael added. “I ruined her.”

“If I didn’t ruin your wife, you didn’t ruin my granddaughter,” Anthony laughed.

“She just got her phone back, well a new one since your daughter shot the other, at the beginning of school and she expected a new one for her birthday.”

“And she’s working on getting her phone taken away as it is cause of that smart mouth.”

“Wonder where she got that from?”

“She’s worse than I ever could’ve been,” Rafael told Lucia.

“I’m just saying, she comes by it honestly.”

“She told me she hated me the other day and I told her, ‘yeah, you and half the ADA’s I work with so you’re not special’.”

“Point proven,” Lucia smiled a smartass smile that rivaled her sons.  
___________________________________  
“It’s been hours,” Rafael complained as he, Mike, and Liv sat at Green Haven Correctional waiting to talk to Greg Yates. Drones had come over the yard, dropping packages, sending the prison into lock down. 

“They’re in lock down, it could take a while,” Mike told his step brother.

“They could at least give our phones back.”

The warden finally came in, only tell them it would be even longer and Barba was ready to leave but Liv insisted that they’d wait to speak to Yates.  
________________________________  
“What? You’re kidding me. No. We’ll stop at JFK and pick up Erin and Antonio and head that way.”

“Who was that, Izz?”

“It was my husband. He, Liv, and Dodds went to talk to Yates, right? Turns out Yates and Rudnick pulled a Shawshank.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I wish I was, Carisi. Rudnick dug a hole in this wall, which was covered by a poster. We’ve been ordered to go pick up Erin and Dawson at JFK instead of them going back to Chicago and meet everyone else at Green Haven.”

“Let’s hit it,” Rollins said as she grabbed her NYPD coat and Kevlar. “You gonna be okay, Izz?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Things were icy to say the least between you and Erin in the squad room.”

“I’ll be fine, Rollins.”

Nick hit the lights and sirens on the SVU as they headed to the airport. Dawson and Erin were waiting curbside when they pulled up. 

“So, what do we know?” Antonio asked.

Carisi started giving them the rundown.

“But where does Yates fit into all this?” Erin asked.

“Somehow, he found out about Rudnick’s plan to escape and wedged himself into it. Not sure how or why even,” Izzy told her. She noticed the look in Erin’s eyes. It was one she had seen before. The same look Liv had before she slipped her detail and went after William Lewis. “Erin?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t do anything stupid.”  
____________________________________  
“Well?”

“Dodds is gonna be okay,” Rollins told Izzy as she met her at the hospital. “He took a shot in the shoulder, kinda like you did.”

“Good. Glad he’s gonna be okay. Any word on Lindsay?”

“Dawson said she went back to Chicago.”

“And you’re going to follow her,” Liv said as she walked up.

“Me? Come on, can’t Nick or Fin…”

“Voight asked that you come, Izzy. Next flight. You’re on it.”

“Fine.”  
_______________________________   
“Okay, so I did some digging,” Izzy started as she stood up from Dawson’s desk. “So, Nellie grew up Penelope Williams to parents Susan and Michael Williams here in Chicago. The thing is, is they also had a son by the name of Gregory.”

“Yates is Nellie's brother?” Halstead asked.

“Yeah.”

“Nellie's mother is downstairs. Susan Baldwin," Atwater told them.

“Okay. You and Halstead, as soon as she's seen Nellie, go interview her,” Voight told Izzy before turning to Ruzek and Al. “You two, run his name through DCFS. Do a national check, too. Anything you can get.” 

“Greg was a difficult baby. He was off from the beginning, and once he got language he said terrible things. He became obsessed with fire and set one in our basement by the time he was four years old."

“It wasn't an accident?” Jay asked quietly. 

“When I became pregnant with Nellie, small animals would turn up dead inside the house. We were terrified of him. Terrified for the new baby. We decided that Michael should take Greg on one of his hauls and put him up for adoption in another state. North Carolina. A pastor agreed to place him. This Greg Yates that's wanted for all of these awful things…”

Izzy and Jay just nodded as Susan realized the son she had given up was the serial killer they were tracking.  
_______________________________________

Even against Voight’s orders, Erin tracked Yates to his childhood home, where he had taken his father. He had his dad in a chair with a noose around his neck, right on the edge of a hole in the condemned house. Erin tried to get him to let him go but Yates threw him over, his neck snapping instantly.

Yates ended up coming after her with an ice pick so Erin took her shot. That was finally the end of Gregory Yates’ reign of terror that spanned years and states.

“I wish I could talk you into coming out here,” Voight told Izzy as she packed up her things. “You’d be good for her.”

“We’re not exactly on the best of terms right now.”

“I know. You two have been through a lot together. You’re the best friend she ever had,” he told Izzy. 

"Things change."

"Well, if you and the counselor ever decide you need a change, I have some friends at the State’s Attorney’s office.”

“Appreciate that, Hank, but it’s like Jimmy Breslin once said, ‘When you leave New York, you ain’t going anywhere’.”

“Of course. Have a safe flight.”

“Take care of Erin, okay?”

“I’ll do my best,” Hank told her.


	88. Chapter 88

“So, she was at Bobby D’s place and claims she was raped by her date and she recorded it?”

“Not exactly. She was at Bobby D’s Hideaway and she accused the bar manager, Noel Panko,” Izzy told Chief Dodds about their latest case. “Our vic says he followed her into the bathroom, raped her, sodomized her.”

“I'll put in a call in to Bobby. See what he knows about this guy.”

“You know Bobby D'Amico?” Liv asked.

“Bobby's a friend of the department.”

“Translation: He bought the brass a lot of Nobu dinners when he was researching his part for Jack Byrnes,” Mike answered.

“Ah, right, right the morally-conflicted D.A. turned bad boy rogue cop?” Carisi asked.

“Bobby's good people,” the Chief chuckled. “Anytime there’s a benefit for widows or orphans, he’s up on that podium.”

“That’s great but for the meantime, why don’t we hold off on calling him?”

“Fine. Just keep in mind, Lieutenant: People see a celebrity, they see a big pay day,” Chief Dodds said as he walked out.

“Well, that was subtle,” Nick remarked. “So, Bobby D’Amico’s a friend of your fathers? Yours too?”

“I know him. Doesn’t mean I’m a fan,” Mike told him.

“His show sucked,” Izzy offered up. “I’ve known cops that have become lawyers,” she said with a side eye to Carisi, “but no lawyer could do our job.”  
______________________________  
“Wild things happen to wild things,” Noel Panko told Izzy and Nick when they went to talk to him about Kristi Cryer’s accusations. “So, what’s this girl’s problem?”

“I’m guessing she’s mad you didn’t send flowers,” Nick told him, dripping with sarcasm.

“Look, like I said…”

“Oh, we heard you, Gollum,” Izzy remarked, noting that Noel was problem 4 inches shorter than her. “But she did go to the ER so our boss said we needed to follow up.”

“Come on, Bobby’s like catnip to the ladies. They come in here, hoping for a moment.”

“But we’re not here to talk about Bobby. We’re here to talk about you, Tattoo.”

“Wow, Detective. Really? I know I’m short but I more than make up for it.”

“Oh, I’m sure you do. You ever heard of ‘little big man syndrome’?”

“Come on, Izz. Let’s go.”

“I get my share of the runoff, sweetheart.”

“Oh, so you’re like one of those fish that follow sharks around?”

“Whatever you want to call it, baby.”  
________________________________  
“She went in the bathroom with Bobby first but failed to tell us?”

“That’s what we gather, Liv,” Nick told her as he, Izzy, Rafael, and the Chief stood in Liv’s office.

“If the jury sees an attention-seeking vlogger pull a TV star into the bathroom and then sees her partying ten minutes after she was supposedly raped, how would that play, counselor?” The chief asked Barba.

“Not well.”

“We’ve taken on tougher cases,” Izzy spoke up.

“We have to pick our battles,” her husband retorted. “Detective her story is compromised.”

“What if we find a pattern?”

“That’s up to Liv.”

“Actually, it’s up to me,” Dodds said. “There’s a difference between proactivity and harassment.”

“You can’t be serious, Chief.”

“Izzy look, I understand that you’ve put a lot of work into this but listen to your husband.”

“Fine.”

“But Chief…”

“Lieutenant, you’re just going to have to tell her that we’re sorry but the DA won’t move forward.”  
___________________________________________  
"You were kind of rough with Kristi today from what Liv told me," Izzy mentioned over dinner after Liv had taken Kristi to his office to "give her a taste" of what a trial would be like.

"I did my job. She's lied to you guys and very publicly blasted your whole department on her vlog. She's turned this into a spectacle by putting all this on the internet."

"Liv also told me you had Carmen take her phone and purse?" She laughed.

"I wasn't risking her recording anything that was said in my office."

"I get it."

"Mom?"

"Yeah, Ella?"

"I...uh...I have a problem," she said as she came back to the table.

"What's wrong, baby?"

She just looked at her mother. 

"RJ you and Matty go finish your dinner in the kitchen," Rafael told them.

"Ohhhh, somebody's started their period," Cami teased.

"Knock it off, Camila."

"Is that what it is, Ella?" Izzy asked.

"Yeah," she nodded quietly.

"Okay. Come on."

"Oh, I already took care of it. I was just letting you know."

"Oh, okay."

"Poor Dad," Rory laughed.

"I made it through the two of you, I think I can handle this."

"Yeah, it's just my period. It's no big deal."

"Okay, just because I said I could handle the fact that...you know...doesn't make it dinner conversation, Rafaella."

"Sorry, Dad," she chuckled.  
________________________________________

“Okay, so she told her followers everything about that night but she couldn’t tell us?”

“Obviously by her latest vlog,” Nick told Liv.

“Okay. Let’s get him in here, now.”

“You really think the Chief is going to be okay with that?”

“You know what, I don’t care, Izzy. We know how rape victims are. They don’t always give us all the details at first.”

“Copy that, Lieu.”

“You know what? Let’s get him in Dodds’ office at 1PP.”

“Uh, okay.”

“And get the Sergeant to come, too.”

“The video shows Noel stayed a few minutes after you left,” Liv told Bobby as they sat in the Chief’s office at 1PP. 

“I'm sure that whatever he did she wanted him to do.” 

“Okay, so how can you be sure?” Izzy asked. “What did she say, exactly when Noel walked in?”

“Her exact words?”

“Yes.” 

“I don't know. Her head was in my lap,” Bobby told her.

“Excuse me?” She said as she stood from her perch on the window sill, only to be grabbed by Nick and Mike.

“Okay, let's all take a step back here, and, Bobby, you should probably have this conversation with your lawyer present,” the Chief told him.

“That's a good idea. They need me back on set, anyway. You need me, you know where to find me.”

“Why would you have him lawyer up when he's giving a voluntary statement?” Liv asked, astonished.

“And she's making public accusations. He could be as much of a victim as she is.”

“Oh, I can’t believe this shit,” Izzy said as she walked out.

"Izz..."

"Your dad just told him to lawyer up? Seriously?!"  
___________________________________________  
Rollins decided to go undercover to catch Bobby D and Noel Panko in the act. She went completely rogue. Mike and Izzy were the last ones she talked to before she went in and they both knew something was up.

“You know her, Mike?” Bobby asked before Amanda had ID’d herself as a cop.

“No.”

“Yes,” Mike and Izzy both said.

It wasn’t long before Buchanan showed up as Bobby D had lawyered up upon the advice of Chief Dodds.

“Amanda we can’t talk to him!”

“Oh, come on, Izzy.”

“He lawyered up and you know what that means.”

“But they tried…”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Fine. Fuck it.”  
______________________________________  
The trial ended with Bobby D’Amico and Noel Panko both being found not guilty. Rafael thought he had a solid case but Buchanan refused to allow Bobby and Noel take the stand. The jury basically bought into that Kristi had done everything for her vlog. It didn’t take long for Izzy and Mike to come up with a plan.

They all sat in the squad room as the video Rollins had taken of Bobby and Noel trying to rape her was broadcast on New York One. 

“Rollins my office?”

Mike and Izzy just watched as Liv practically went off Amanda, thinking she leaked the video.

“Think we should go in?” Izzy text Mike to which he just nodded so they both got up and walked to Liv’s office.

“Are we interrupting?”

“Yes,” Amanda answered.

“No, Rollins and I are done,” Liv said. “She just stood there and lied to my face, said she didn’t leak that video.”

“I believe her,” Mike replied.

“Why?”

“Because I know who did,” he said as he looked at Izzy. 

“Don't worry. It can't be traced,” she told Liv.

“What are you telling me?”

“I don't want to put you between us and my father, so you might want to stop asking questions,” Mike responded.

“Well…okay.”

“Bobby D'Amico got what he deserved,” Izzy said.

“Told you I never liked the guy,” Mike reiterated as he and Izzy walked out of Liv’s office.


	89. Chapter 89

“I seriously can’t believe Dad took Ella to Boston to watch the Celtics,” RJ laughed as he shook his head.

“I don’t know what part bothers me more. That they went to Boston or that your sister likes the Celtics.”

“When will they be home?”

“The game started at 1 so sometime this evening.”

“I’m glad that doesn’t happen to boys.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know…the bleeding stuff. Gross!”

“Oh, Junior, stop.”

“No wonder Cami and Rory get all crazy. Now, it’s taken Ella, too. The Barba men are doomed.”

“Will you go play a video game or something?” Izzy laughed as she went to put up the laundry she had just folded.  
_______________________________________  
“Hola, mi amor,” Rafael smiled as he found his wife in their bed when him and Ella got home that night.

“Hey, baby. Did you two have fun?”

“Yeah. The Celtics won by 13. Ella was happy.”

“And how much white and green stuff did she come home with?”

“Do you really want that answer,” he chuckled.

“I’m glad you two had fun.”

“Well she didn’t want to go shopping or anything like that and we’ve done things for the other two when they hit this…milestone.”

“She does like basketball.”

“You know what I like?”

“What?”

“That night gown you’ve got on.”

“Really?”

“Uh-huh. It would look better on the floor,” he said with his eyebrow raised.

“Is that so?”

“Hell yes.”

“Then come take it off of me,” she told him as she sat her book down on her nightstand.

He took his gray sweater and threw it in the floor. She sat up on the side of the bed and pulled him by his pants to her. 

She began undoing his brown leather belt, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. He stood in front her in just his under shirt and boxers. She slowly slid her hand into his boxers and began stroking him to get him hard.

It didn’t take him long to get hard, either He laid her back on the bed and took the chiffon nightgown off, tossing it exactly where he said it would look good.

He drank in the smell of her peach scented body spray as he kissed her neck, his hand traveling into her panties. First it was one finger, then two.  
“Usted es la mujer más hermosa en esta tierra (you are the most beautiful woman on this earth),” he whispered before moving to her ear.

“Rafa…”

“No puedo tener suficiente de ti, mi amor (I can’t get enough of you).”

“Te necesito, Rafael. Por favor.”

“¿Ahora?”

She just nodded as he moved to kiss her. He removed her panties, throwing them on top of her nightgown and removed his boxers.

“¿Estás listo para mí, cariño (Are you ready for me)?”

“Yes…”

“No Inglés, mi amor.”

“Lo siento, Rafa.”

He slowly pushed into her causing her to moan.

“Te quiero, hermosa,” he whispered as he kissed her while he rested his forehead on hers. His pace wasn’t too fast or slow. It was perfect. She dug her nails into his back as he got her closer to the orgasm she desperately wanted. 

They were always sure to be quiet when the kids were home, even if they were asleep. 

“God, Raf…”

He noticed her “tell” that she was about to come and immediately pressed his lips to hers to muffle her moans. 

He soon followed behind her, keeping their mouths together to muffle his own orgasmic sounds.

He practically collapsed on top of her as they relaxed.  
_____________________________________  
“Okay, stop giving Carisi a hard time,” Izzy told the squad as they had all went out one night.

“Oh, come on, we’re just having a little fun,” Amanda laughed.

“Let them make fun of me,” Carisi shrugged. “I just happen to think sex is supposed to be special.”

“Are you a virgin,” Nick teased.

“No! I just don’t sleep with everyone I date and a lot of times, I wait until after a few dates.”

“You’ve watched ‘Think Like A Man’ too much.”

“Whatever, Amaro.”

“Hey, Carisi. I get where you’re coming from.”

“Thanks, Izz.”

“Oh, yeah, she’s only been with one person her whole life.”

“So, Rollins?”

“Yeah, what’s the big deal that we’ve only been with each other,” Rafael asked he took a drink of his scotch.

“Wait. What?”

“You didn’t know that, Carisi?”

“Um no. I mean I knew Izzy had only been with you but I didn’t know…”

“Yep. August 11th, 1994. Worst day of my life.”

“Rafa!”

“That’s terrible, Rafael,” Liv laughed.

“Let me explain. I don’t mean it in that way. You know how we all had these expectations of what we wanted our first time to be like?”

“Yeah,” they all agreed.

 

“Okay, so we had talked about it; music, candles, yada, yada, yada, obviously set the bar way too high and when it finally happened, it was over as soon as it began.”

“Awww.”

“He was scarred for the next two weeks, Liv.”

“Are you serious?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t touch her. We drove back to school and I wouldn’t even talk about it.”

“Erin said we needed to and my brother left the room and basically made us talk about it.”

“The second time followed after and it was much better,” Rafael chuckled.

“Yes, it was,” Izzy smiled as she gave him a small kiss.

“Speaking of, have you talked to her since you went to Chicago?”

“No, I haven’t, Rollins. I don’t know what I really have to say to her.”

“I mean after all those years though.”

“She got too personal,” Nick added.

“Thank you, Nick,” Izzy said with a nod. “That she did.”

“So, Barba, has Dodds mentioned anything about joining JTTF?”

“Uh, the Chief brought it up when we had dinner the other night. He seemed to kind of brush him off though, Liv.”

“He just got here and he wants to leave already? We’re not that bad, are we?”

“I don’t know. With yours and Izzy’s impromptu concerts, Fin…”

“Hey, my girl can sing her ass off. I add just a little harmony.”

“We gotta do something to keep ourselves awake on those late nights,” Izzy laughed.

“They have always done that, Carisi,” Amanda told him. “We’ve heard them signing Stevie Wonder, what else, oh we walked in one day and they were singing the Jackson 5.”

“Hey, ‘A-B-C’, baby. That’s our jam.”

“As long as I don’t come in and find you two dancing,” Liv chuckled as she sipped her wine.


	90. Chapter 90

“You’re not going on the raid tonight?”

“Nope. I requested tonight off two months ago, Rollins,” Izzy told her. 

“Date night?”

“Yes. Rafael has something special planned apparently.”

“Must be nice.”

“What about you and Nick?”

“Whatever that was…ended over a year ago.”

“You could give it another shot.”

“I think we’re better off as friends.”

“What about Declan?”

“He calls to check on Jesse when he can. Pays his child support but eh,” she shrugged.

“Well, good luck tonight.”  
__________________________________

“Seriously, you have to go in right now?”

“I’m just going to see what they found in the raid. I promise we are going out and we’re going to have a good night.”

“I wish you’d tell me what we were doing.”

“You’ll love it, cariño. I promise. I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Rafael told her as he kissed her and headed to the precinct.  
_______________________________________  
“Lieutenant. What fresh hell awaits?”

“We responded to a tip that underage girls would be at a sex party, and in attendance was Bronx ADA Winn, two assemblymen, a retired DA investigator, a councilman, and I'm sure that you recognize…” 

“Judge Wheeler. Why am I not surprised? What about the girls? Are they talking?” 

“Oh, no. Their pimps have them completely under control. Haven't even bothered to send a lawyer, and no one will admit to knowing whose party it was or who supplied the girls.”

“All par for the course,” he scoffed. 

“Well, it gets worse. Detectives Russo and Jefferson, Vice, were working the case from another angle. They pulled their guns and badges as we made the bust.”

“They must know who threw the party.”

“Well, if they do, they're not saying. They claimed that we ruined their UC operation. Don't worry, I called their captain.”

“You mean he wasn't there too? Was there anybody at this party who wasn't a public servant?”

“Her,” Liv said pointing to a woman with short red hair in an interrogation room with Carisi. “Nina Kelly. This is her only ID.” 

“She's a nun?”

“Well, we're trying to verify.”

“Good luck,” he said with a smirk.

“Where are you going?”

“Taking my wife to the theater. Text me if you make sense of this mess before Burr kills Hamilton.”

"Send them my love," Liv called as he walked off.  
_______________________________________  
“Okay, so Cara Gutierrez died of a heroin OD and no one knows how she got it?”

“Father Akintola was the only one in her room. And all of the girls swear they didn’t give it to her,” Carisi told Benson.

“Who knew she was cooperating with us?” Nick asked.

“I never put her name in the computer,” Tucker told them. 

“But you did ask your cousin…” Liv started.

“Son of a bitch,” he muttered as he headed for the elevator with Liv hot on his heels.

“Okay, what did we miss?” Fin asked as they all just sort of shrugged.

“Tucker and Liv went to talk to his cousin who’s a priest at St. Fabiola’s,” Izzy told them.

“They can’t think that a priest had anything to do with Cara’s death.”

“Why not, Carisi? I mean you’ve been in this unit for how long? You can’t honestly be surprised by anything anymore.”

“Izzy’s right. I mean we have seen the scum of the fucking earth in this unit. Priests involved in sex trafficking? That’s not totally unbelievable,” Nick agreed.  
____________________________________________

Liv came in a few hours later and walked quickly to her office. Nick and Fin had already punched out, leaving Izzy, Amanda, Carisi, and Dodds still trying to figure out who killed Cara.

“Izzy, Amanda can you get me some evidence boxes, please?”

“Uh, sure,” they answered as they did what she said.

“Lieutenant, what's going on?” Mike asked. 

“You'd know better than me.” 

“Did something happen?” 

“You're telling me that you didn't know?”

“Know what?” 

“That I'm out. Effective immediately. Uh, Carisi, Izzy, Rollins, as of now, Sergeant Dodds is acting commander of SVU, so congratulations. That's it. You're dismissed.”

They all just kind of went to their desks, not knowing what the hell was going on. She had went with Tucker then Izzy knew she was going to see Rafael.

“You need me for anything, Sarge?”

“Uh, not really, Izzy. What’s up?”

“I’m, uh, gonna go home and find out just what the hell happened in my husband’s office.”  
___________________________________________

She called his office first but Carmen told her he had already left. She got home, unloaded her gun and put it in her safe as she always did. The boys were in their rooms and she found Rafael in his home office, Rory curled up in the big chair with a book, like she always seemed to do during that time of the month. 

“Hey,” he smiled.

“Hi, Mom."

“Hey, baby girl. What are you two doing?”

"I'm just reading," Rory answered.

"I'm going over some files."

"Rory can you excuse me and your Dad?"

"Sure. I need to get ready for bed anyway." 

"Everything okay?” Rafael asked with a quizzical look.

“I was going to ask you the same thing.”

“What’s up?”

“Well, Liv went to talk to you then she came back an hour or so later and told us that Dodds is acting commander. Do you know why?”

“I do,” he said with a sigh. “Did you know she was involved with Tucker?”

“Um no? Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I am. Monsignor Mullregan came and made some accusations against him and when I told her, she got very defensive and I figured it out.”

“Wow.”

“I had to report it to 1PP since my office is officially investigating Tucker being involved in this trafficking ring.”

“Tucker? No way.”

“Cariño I know you want to stand up for your friend…”

“She’s your friend, too, but no. It’s not about that. He’s as straight as they come. Hell, he's tried to jam us all up on one charge or another."

“So we think. I mean who knows? He could be just as dirty as Russo and Jefferson.”

“Jefferson didn't used to be dirty. So, what happens now?”

“You continue to investigate just like you were. We’ll get to the bottom of this one way or another.”

“I hope so.”

“Can we just not talk about anymore tonight? It's given me a splitting headache that I cannot get rid of."

"Sorry."

"Look, just keep doing what you've been doing. Somebody's gonna break eventually."  
_______________________________________  
“Okay, I think I found something,” Izzy said as she joined Dodds and Rafael in Liv’s office. “Okay, so he’s paying for that loft where he does…whatever the hell it is he does with Mr. Woodstone in there. He’s also spending $1,000 on liquor a month and another $500 a month on gift items from the Pirates Booty Treasure Chest.”

The look on her husband’s face almost made her and Dodds laugh, as if he was contemplating checking it out or something.

“I’m assuming Father Eugene doesn’t know you have his ‘trainer’.”

“No, he does not Counselor.”

“And he has an outstanding warrant for a DUI? Maybe we should let him know that could carry a prison sentence of a year or he can just help us bring Eugene in.”

"Works for me," Mike agreed.

"How about we let Fin and Carisi handle this?"

"Why them?" Rafael asked his wife.

"The ball gags and such that were in this loft apparently made Carisi a little uncomfortable. I just want to have a little fun."

"She's devious," Mike laughed.

"You should've been here when they busted a brothel on Super Bowl Sunday last year."

"What happened?"

"She let Fin and Murphy out of the holding cell after they had been 'arrested' and left Carisi in there."

"You did what?"

"He made us miss the game," she shrugged.

Things finally unraveled, exonerating Tucker and bringing Liv back to SVU. The grand jury handed out indictments like Halloween candy.


	91. Chapter 91

“Nothing ever sticks at Rikers. That CO union has more power than any place I've ever seen,” Rafael told the squad as they stood in his office after Fin’s son Ken had told them about one his clients being raped by a guard at Rikers. “Putting that aside, these cases are never easy. Your complainant has 12 arrests?”

“Misdemeanors: drugs, prostitution. Ken says she's turning it around,” Fin told him.

“This guy covers his tracks. There's no DNA, no witnesses, vulnerable victims,” Mike added.

“Look, we really caught a break when Charisse called Ken.”

“Did we, Liv? It's still the word of a corrections officer versus a black single mother with a drug problem and a prison record.”

“All right, if he's raping her on the street, how many is he raping on the inside? Is there any value in having DOI look at him?”

“Don't, Izz. Rikers is where investigations go to die. Violence, rape, assaults, hundreds of allegations, almost no prosecutions.”

“Are you saying just walk away?”

“Dodds, that’s…”

“If a CO is having sex with an inmate, forced or not, that's rape,” Liv interrupted.

“It is, but Rikers, it's like The Lord of the Flies there. If anyone finds out we're investigating him, Munson gets tipped off, and his vics pay.”

“So, we're not investigating him. We need the guards' help. We're investigating a trafficking ring with ties to gang members who were involved with female inmates. It’s believable. We are SVU.”

“I like your wife’s idea,” Liv said.

“All right, yeah. Put up a good front. Pick another dozen women who have rotated through Charisse's unit with similar records.”  
_________________________________  
“Thank you for coming,” Rafael told Mike and Liv when they met him at the courthouse.

“What's going on?” Mike asked.

“My gut is when the grand jury gets back from lunch, they'll return a bill of indictment on multiple counts of rape and sodomy of both Charisse and Leanne. Each of their stories reinforced the other. Plus the female CO's testimony.’

“Do you need us to pick up Munson?”

“He's out on bail, and he surrendered his SIG and passport. He'll be informed of the indictment through his lawyer. When the indictments do come down, I’m gonna need you to walk me out of here.”

“Barba, you don't know me or who I am, but we know a lot about you, things people would want to know."

“Is that a threat?” 

“Threat? No, a threat would be right here, right now, I shove you down these steps and get your skull cracked open, bleeding to death. You kids grow up without their Papi.”

“Right here, in front of all these people? Maybe they wouldn't be able to save me, but they sure as hell would catch you. So, amiguito, I'll tell you what. You want to kill a DA, right here, surrounded by all these cops and cameras? Spend the rest of your life in prison? Here, here's my home address. You come by any time you want. I have my own personal bodyguard.”

“You okay?” Liv asked noticing the worried look on his face.

“Not really. Somebody just threatened to kill me.”

“Who?” Mike asked.

“Just a face in the crowd. This is about to get worse.”  
___________________________________  
“So, what did he mean when he said that he knew things about you that people would want to know?” Izzy asked her husband after he told her about the threat he received on the courthouse steps.

“Just talk I guess.”

“He meant something by that. Do you have another kid out there?” She tried to joke. She could tell he was still shaken, whether he’d admit it or not.

“That’s not funny.”

“Raf tell me. What’s got you so worried?”

“I’m…I’m worried about you.”

“Me? I carry a gun. I’ll be fine.”

“You say that but…”

“I have known you to get threatened before but I’ve never seen it bother you like this.”

“Okay,” he sighed. “Remember in 2010, that case I had in Brooklyn?”

“Babe…”

“Forgive me. Marianna Abreu. Remember that case?”

“Yeah. She was your only witness in a rape/murder trial.”

“You know how I take a few hundred dollars a month and I tell you it’s for my dad’s hospital bills or what have you?”

“Yeah?”

“When Marianna showed up to court and I couldn’t get a recess, she asked for a loan.”

“Okay?”

“She was so strung out but I gave her money anyways.”

“And she bought the heroin that killed her that night after she testified.”

“Right. Her daughter, Ashtonja, was the same age as Cami at the time. She moved in with her grandmother, they’re broke, so over the years, I’ve been helping out.”

“Oh,” she said quietly. She was shocked that he had kept this from her all these years. She honestly didn’t know how to respond.

“Mi amor say something.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“I thought…if I did. I mean, I gave her the money for the heroin that killed her and…I thought if you found out, you’d leave me.”

“Why would I ever do that? Not everything done in the dark is shameful.”

A small smile crept onto his face when she told him that. “It wasn’t exactly the moral thing to do, Marianna or Ashtonja…”

“And who am I to judge what’s moral? I’ve been suspended twice for assaulting people on the job,” she chuckled.

“So, you’re not mad?”

“I’m a little upset that you felt like you had to keep this from me but I’m not mad, Rafa.”

“I just didn’t want you to look complicit if it ever came out. Looks like it might now.”

“Maybe not. Like you said this guy could just be running his mouth.”

“Everything okay?” Cami asked as she walked into her dad’s home office.

“Yeah, it’s fine.”

“Why do we have to go to Brooklyn?”

“This case we’re working right now, things could get ugly and I just would feel better if you and yours sisters and brothers weren’t here.”

“Dad you’re scaring me.”

“It’s fine, Princesa. Lo prometo.”

“I just don’t want anything to happen to you guys,” she said as she hugged her dad.

“I’ve got your Mom and her guns. I’ll be fine. You got your stuff ready?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay. Do me a favor and make sure the rest of them are ready? Nonna will be here any minute.”

“Okay. I love you,” she told them each before hugging them.

“Who was that?” Rafael chuckled.

“Uh, your daughter.”

“No, couldn’t have been.”

“Guess she doesn’t hate us after all.”  
_________________________________________  
Gary Munson’s wife had called Olivia for help to get her kids out of the house safely after he made bail after more indictments had been filed against him. 

Mike went with her on his last day at SVU before making his transfer to JTTF, while Nick and Izzy went to Barba’s office.

“Liv just text me. Munson has his wife and Mike held up in his house.”

“What?”

“Yeah, uh, he let Liv get the kids out of the house and locked the door behind them,” she said as she read the text.

“Get the car. I’ll call Rollins and tell her and Carisi to meet us over there,” Nick said as they began to walk out. The three of them were carrying on a conversation about what was going on when shots just rang out. Everything happened so fast as Izzy and Nick pulled their weapons before noticing the target of the shots on the ground.

“Nick call a bus. Okay, okay, Raf. Stay with me. Nick’s getting help.”

Blood was everywhere.

“Mi…”

“Shhh,” she told him as tears streamed down her face. “Don’t try to talk, okay? Help’s coming. Nick tell them to hurry.”  
______________________________  
“Izzy what happened?” Fin asked as basically the entire squad, Chief Dodds, Tony, Stella, Anthony, Lucia, and even Jack McCoy ran to meet her after Rafael was rushed into the hospital.

“It was so quick, I couldn’t…I…they lost him once in the ambulance. He’s lost a lot of blood.”

“Okay, okay, we’re here,” Fin said as he wrapped his arms around her. Her husband’s blood was all over her.

Just so happened that Mike took a gut shot after trying to disarm the 6’7 Munson and was in surgery at the time as his step brother.

“Mr. Dodds?”

“Yeah?” The Chief asked when Mike’s surgeon came out.

“He’s lucky. The bullet completely missed the artery.”

“Thank god. What about my other son?”

“Uh, he’s still in surgery. I’m going to assist now. We’re doing the best we can, for both of them.”

“Thank you.”  
________________________________________  
Izzy just sat in a chair, still hadn’t cleaned herself up, numb. The guy came out of nowhere. She kept thinking if she had been more aware of her surroundings, maybe she could’ve stopped him.

“Any word yet,” Fin asked as he brought her some coffee.

“They lost him again during the surgery,” she said through her tears. “He may not come out of this.”

“Don’t say that, Shorty. That guy has so much more fight in him than any of us know.”

“Heard Mike’s gonna be okay.”

“Yeah. He’s a lucky SOB, I’ll tell you that. Counselor’s gonna be just as lucky.”

“Did you check on the kids?”

“Your 'manny' said they’re doing okay. They haven’t told Matty what happened.”

“Probably for the best.”

“Mrs. Barba?”

“Yes?”

The surgeon looked at her and her heart dropped. “He’s going to be fine.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah. We were able to get the bullets out of him. He’s in ICU recovery but I think he’s awake enough you can go see him.”

“Thank you.”

She walked in to find him just sort of moving his head from side to side.

“Hey.”

He just sort of smiled when he saw his wife.

“What happened?”

“You got shot, baby.”

“Is that…have you not changed clothes?”

“Not yet. I couldn’t leave without knowing if you were okay.”

“I feel like I got ran over. Do the kids know?”

“All of them but Matt.”

“Okay,” he nodded.  
_______________________________________  
After they both made it out of recovery, Rafael and Mike ended up in a room together.

“This was not my idea,” Mike told him.

“Mine either.”

“No, it was mine,” Bill said when he and Lucia walked in. “We asked that you two be roomed together so we can keep a better eye on you.”

“I’m 41, Mami. I don’t need roommate.”

“Yeah, Dad. I’m 39 myself.”

“Will you two just stop? You’re going to be here for a little while so you might as well have some company.”

“Fine,” Rafael huffed. “I don’t want to hear shit about what I watch on TV.”

“Didn’t they just say they were 41 & 39?” Bill laughed.

“I didn’t realize it was a party,” Izzy laughed as she had brought the kids to visit after school three days after their dad and uncle had been shot.

“How you feeling, Dad?”

“I’m feeling okay, Cami.”

“When do you get to come home?”

“It’s gonna be a little bit, Ella.”

“At least you have Uncle Mike for company.”

“Yes, I’m aware, Junior,” he said as he rolled his eyes.

“Rafa,” Izzy whispered.

“What?” He snapped. “I’m too old for a roommate,” he whispered.

“Stop it.”  
___________________________________  
Being stuck in the hospital was bad enough but having to share a room with his step brother made it worse for Rafael. The only person he wanted to share a room with was his wife. However, they started bonding in a way while they shared that room.

“What’s wrong, Barba?”

“I can’t get comfortable, Mike. I want my own bed, in my own house.” 

“You and me both. I think we’re healing pretty well.”

“How pissed do you think Izzy and Alice would be if we went AMA?”

“They’d probably finish the job. So, the guy that shot you, Heredio, still isn’t talking?”

“Nope. Nick and Carisi and Fin have done everything they can but he won’t budge on who was paying him.”

“They should send your wife in there.”

“Everyone makes her out to be a monster,” Rafael chuckled.

“She scares me. I am legitimately terrified of that little tiny lady.”

“She’s not that bad.”

He was still having trouble positioning himself so Dodds hit the button for the nurse.

“Did you need something, Mr. Dodds?” The nurse asked when she walked in.

“Actually, my brother needs a little help getting comfortable.”

“Certainly, Mr. Barba.”

That was the first time Mike had ever referred to Rafael as his brother and Rafael had to admit, it was nice to hear.


	92. Chapter 92

“Do you need anything else, Daddy?”

“I’m fine, Camila. Thank you,” he told his daughter after she had brought him a cup of coffee.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Shouldn’t you be getting ready for school?”

“Yeah,” she shrugged.

“What’s wrong, Princesa?”

“Nothing.”

“You think I don’t know when something is wrong with one of my kids? Especially after 15 years? You’ve been acting kind of strange for the last week.”

“I was scared when you were in the hospital.”

“That’s understandable.”

“I don’t ever want to lose you,” she told him with tears in her eyes.

“I think I proved I’m almost indestructible,” he chuckled as he wiped her eyes.

“You and Mom both,” she laughed through her tears.

“See? Now, go finish getting ready for school. You have a week left and you become a Sophomore.”

“Bet you feel old, huh?”

“Go!”

“I’m going.”

Izzy found her daughter coming out of the guestroom laughing as she wiped her eyes.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Rafael smiled.

“How’d you sleep last night?”

“Same as every night since I’ve been home,” he sighed.

“Well, why don’t you get out of bed and come have breakfast with the kids before they go to school?”

“Okay. I’ll be down in a minute.”  
________________________________  
The kids had eaten their breakfast and headed off to school. Izzy began cleaning up the kitchen. Rafael came in with the kids plates, trying to help her.

“I can get that,” she told him as she tried to take the dishes from him.

“I’m fine.”

“Raf…”

“I said, I can do it.” 

They had both grabbed onto the plates and let go at the same time that they all went crashing to the floor.

“Goddamn it.”

“I’ll clean it up.”

“Stop treating me like I’m fucking helpless!”

“Rafa…”

“No, I can’t take it anymore. I’ve been home for a week and everyone is treating me like I’ve got one foot in the grave. It’s bad enough I feel weak as it is.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t close my eyes without seeing his face. I’m letting this person, this punk control my life.”

“You know that’s normal…”

“I don’t remember you having trouble sleeping, having nightmares when you got shot,” he spat.

“I didn’t look my shooter in the face before it happened.”

“I just want things back to normal. I want to hear the kids fighting, I need Cami asking me for money that I’m not going to give her, I need…I need you.”

“What do you need me to do, Rafa?”

“Just be here and stop taking care of me. Let me do things for myself.”

“But I’ve always taken care of you.”

“I know that and I’ve always appreciated it. You need to go back to work. You need to study for the Sergeant’s exam. I can take care of myself.”

“If that’s what you want.”

“It is. I want…normalcy.” 

“Okay,” she agreed.

“And let me help you clean the kitchen.”

“Sure,” she smiled.  
________________________________________  
“I need you to come home.”

“What’s wrong, Rafa?”

“Just come, please?”

“Okay. Let me tell Fin.”

She didn’t like how upset her husband sounded over the phone when he called her. He had wanted her to go back to work but he sounded shaken when she picked up her desk phone. He almost spoke in a whisper.

She told Fin she was leaving and got in her unmarked SUV, turning lights and sirens on. She had never heard that kind of panic in his voice.

She pulled up in front her house to find Eddie outside.

“Everything okay?” He asked as he stood up.

“Uh, I dunno. Rafael called me at work, sounded…scared.”

“So, he’s home?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve knocked a few times but he hadn’t answered. I even tried calling him.”

Izzy grabbed her gun and motioned for Eddie to follow her in. She went to the bedroom first and it was clear. She quietly made her way upstairs to his office, with her gun drawn.

“Thank god,” he sighed.

“What’s wrong?” She asked as she holstered her gun and noticed his hands were shaking.

“Somebody was knocking at the door but I…I…I couldn’t answer it.”

“Okay, I’m here. Calm down. It was just Eddie.”

“Eddie? Eddie Garcia?”

“Yeah,” she nodded.

“Oh. What the fuck is wrong with me?” He said as he sat in the big leather chair that Rory always found so comforting and covered his face with hands.

“You know what this is.”

“Don’t say it.”

“Okay. Do you feel like seeing Eddie?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Just give me a few minutes and I’ll be down.”

Izzy left him alone and told Eddie to have a seat and Rafael would be down soon.  
________________________________________________  
“How’s he doing?”

“Good days and bad, Eddie. I’m glad you came by. I think it’ll make him feel better to see you.”

“I wanted to come sooner but Lori’s been in town.”

“Really? How’s that going?”

“She wants to make the divorce official.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Eddie.”

“At least she’s moving back and Julian will have his mom again.”

“That is always a plus.”

“Eddie.”

“Rafi what’s good, hermano?”

“I’m alive so I got that.”

“You guys want a couple of drinks?”

“Beer for me, Izz, please.”

“Sure, Eddie. Raf?”

“Bourbon is fine. Thank you.”

Izzy got their drinks and called Fin to let him know everything was okay.

“So, what brings you by, Eddie?”

“I had to check on you after what happened. I wanted to give you some time to get adjusted to being at home.”

“Two weeks now.”

“Look, when I heard about the whole thing with Riker’s and then what happened to you, I made a few calls to a few friends.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I understand the guy that did this still won’t tell who paid him.”

“Nope. He’s maintaining his silence.”

“That’s why I made some calls. You remember a cat named Rigo Heredio?”

Rafael thought for a minute. “Yeah. Put him away for gang rape about two years ago.”

“He’s Felipe’s twin brother.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t make the connection.”

“Well, he’s up in Sing-Sing. His cellmate is the one that ordered the hit.”

“Who’s his cellmate.”

Eddie just sort of looked at his feet.

“Eddie, come on.”

“It’s Alex, Rafi.”

“Munoz?”

“Si.”

“He paid Heredio $500 to kill me. I should be offended.”

“$500 for the threats. It was $5,000 if he actually got to you.”

“Fuck. Alex still holds a grudge.”

“So does his cellmate apparently.”

“How did you find this out?”

“I guy I know at Sing-Sing, Rigo bragged about it when it came on the news. Apparently Alex did, too.”

“Neither of them are in Gen Pop though.”

“No they live in protective custody. It’s smaller in there so people do talk.”

“And this guy you know, what’s he in for?”

“Armed robbery. He used to be a Riker’s but had to be transferred due to some issues with other inmates.”

“I’m guessing he wants released early.”

“No. He’s only 6 months left. He can get them talking though. We just gotta make it happen.”

“Let me talk to Benson. Might can send someone in UC.”

“It can’t be Amaro or that other guy.”

“Fin? No, they’re too well known.”

“I couldn’t keep this from you. I may not be a CO anymore, but you kept me out of prison when Alex didn’t care if I went or not.”

“Thanks, Eddie, really.”

Eddie left after about two hours and Rafael, instead of going to the guestroom, went and took a much needed nap in their bedroom. 

Izzy looked in on him at one point and for the first time in two weeks, he looked relaxed.


	93. Chapter 93

“No offense, but Carisi can play crazy in Rikers but a harden criminal in Sing-Sing?”

“I know, Rollins, but like Izzy said we can’t send in Amaro or Fin,” Liv told her.

“Wait, I know someone,” Izzy interrupted.

“Really?”

“That’s if we can get him from Chicago.”

“Who?”

“Dawson. He worked Vice for years.”

“I thought he went to the State’s Attorney’s office?”

“Yeah, he did, Fin but no one out here is going to know him. Surely Mark Jefferies could spare him long enough. Liv can’t you call Voight and see if he can pull some strings?”

“I could, Izz, sure. If he will though…”

“It’s worth a shot.”

“Okay. I’ll make a call.”

Antonio was on the next flight to New York.  
_____________________________________________  
“Dawson, thanks so much for helping us out,” Liv told him when he walked into the precinct.

“Hey, it’s the least I could do for this girl over here.”

“Thank you, Antonio,” Izzy told him as they hugged.

“Of course. I’ll do whatever I can to help bring down this fucker that tried to kill your husband.”

“So, when are we going to let Felipe know that we know who paid him?”

“Fin why don’t you and Nick let him know but don’t let him know, if you know what I mean. See if he gives anything up now. And, uh, remind him that prison phone calls are recorded. Rollins, you and Carisi come with me so we can get Dawson a new identity and send him to prison.”

“What about me, Liv?”

“Izz why don’t you take the rest of the day off?”

“Liv come on…”

“Didn’t your husband have his first appointment with Dr. Lindstrom?” She asked her quietly.

“Yeah.”

“Then go be with him. We can handle this.”

“Okay.”  
________________________________________________  
“I’m glad your appointment went good,” Izzy told Rafael as they sat on the couch.

“I went out to lunch with Mike afterwards.”

“How’s he doing?”

“Better than me.”

“You’re gonna get through this.”

“I know. Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For making me go. I’m tired of sleeping alone. I’m gonna try and sleep in the bed with you tonight.”

“I’d like that,” she told him with a soft smile.

“You little stupid ass bitch/I aint’ fucking with you,” they heard from the hallway.

“Was that Matty?”

“I believe so.”

“Matteo Vincent where did you hear that?”

“RJ was playing it earlier.

“No. Uh-uh,” Rafael said as he started upstairs. “Junior! Open this door!”

“What’s up, Dad?”

“What did I just hear your 7 year old brother singing?”

“I dunno,” he shrugged.

“I think the words that came out of your baby brother’s mouth was, ‘you little stupid ass bitch, I ain’t fucking with you’?”

“Oh, yeah, Big Sean and E-40.”

“I don’t care who it was but if you want to listen to that kind of crap, use your ear buds. He doesn’t need to hear that and he damn sure doesn’t need to be walking around here singing it.”

“Sorry, Dad.”

“I mean it. I don’t want to hear anything else like that coming from him or you will no longer have a Spotify account. ¿Entiendes?”

“Yes, Dad. I said I’m sorry.”

“Okay.”  
___________________________________________  
“So, Dawson’s got Rigo so far. Just have to get Alex to admit to actually setting this up.”

“Let me talk to him.”

“Izzy you can’t, you know that.”

“Come on, Lieu. Rigo & Felipe are enough to hold against him.”

“Absolutely not. You got Dawson out here for this, so let him finish the job.”

“Fine.”

“I know you want to get Alex on this but we’ve got Dawson in there and nothing needs to jeopardize this.”

“I want this motherfucker buried.”

“As much as I do. It’s going to happen. Just give it time.”

“Time? My husband can’t step back in his office, he can’t sleep, he can hardly eat…”

“I know, Izz. We’ve just got to let Dawson do his job.”

“Okay.”  
___________________________________________  
Alex bragged too much and trusted the wrong person when he talked to “Jorge Velasquez” AKA Antonio Dawson about how he set up Rafael.

That was all the squad needed with “Jorge’s” glasses camera. 

“Liv please just let me talk to him.”

“Izzy…”

“I just want to know why.”

“Fine. Nick you go with her.”

“Copy that, Lieutenant. Come on, I’ll drive, Izz.”

“Thanks, Nick.”

“By the book,” Liv told them before they left.  
__________________________  
“Did you really think you were going to get away with this?”

“Get away with what?” Alex asked, with so much arrogance Izzy wanted to knock the hell out of him.

“You know what you did, Munoz. You set up your oldest friend to be killed. Unlucky for you, he made it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Detective Amaro.”

“Really? Okay. Izzy you want to show him?”

“Sure,” she smiled as she showed him the iPad that held Dawson’s video.

“You got rolled on, Munoz. You’re finished.”

“This was entrapment.”

“Hardly,” Izzy scoffed. “You’ve always talked too much, Alejandro. Come on. Don’t piss down my leg and tell me it’s rain.” 

He just looked between Izzy and Nick.

“You’re not going to try and defend yourself?”

“You got me on video, Detective Barba. What else can I do?”

“Tell me why.”

“Why? Your husband had it out for me cause I took a real woman away from him.”

“Does she know about all of this?”

“Of course not. She’s in Miami with her parents. He just settled for you, blondie.”

Izzy didn’t know what took over her as she grabbed the 6’2 Alex from the table and threw him against the wall.

“You crazy bitch.”

“You messed with my family. Yeah, that’s gonna make me a little crazy. You really think, even after all this time, Rafael wants your wife?”

“You know what? We’re done, here, Izz. He’s got attempted murder charges and countless others that will be coming up. He’s never getting out of here.”

“Yeah, you’re right, Nick. Wasn’t there something else?”

“Oh yeah. As of 10 minutes ago, you’ve been moved to Gen Pop. Your little girlfriend, Jodie Lanier, her father is in there.”

“No. You can’t do that. He could kill me.”

“You signed your own death warrant the day you put out the hit on my husband. It's done,” Izzy smirked as she and Nick walked out.  
____________________________________  
Rafael had insisted on treating Antonio to dinner for his help with sending Alex away for good.

“You guys really didn’t have to do this,” Antonio said as he brought the plates into the kitchen.

“Dawson if it wasn’t for you…thank you,” Rafael told him.

“Of course. When Izzy called me, I knew I had to do this.”

“Well, again, thank you.”

“Not a problem, Barba.”

The kids had went to their rooms as Izzy, Antonio, and Rafael had a cup of coffee after dinner.

“So, Antonio. You’ve been out here for the last few weeks, I haven’t really got to talk to you,” Izzy told him. “How are you doing?”

“Uh, good. You heard about Erin?”

“No. What?”

“Rumor has it that she left CPD to join the FBI…out here.”

“Seriously?”

“Yep.”

“Haven’t heard from her,” Izzy shrugged. “Hey, what happened to that girl you were dating?”

“Sylvie? I dunno. I mean I’m 41, she’s 34.”

“So?

“She wants kids. I mean, Eva is 15, Diego is 13. Would you want to start over, Barba?”

“That’s a hard pass,” Rafael chuckled. “We have a 7 year old with an extremely high IQ that goes around singing rap songs. I would not want to start over.”

“Well, that’s me. I just…I can’t start over at almost 42.”

“Are you sure that’s what she wants?”

“She told me, Izz.”

“How’s thing with Gabby and Matt?”

“After losing Louie and Gabby finding out she can’t have kids? I hope they make it.”

“Surely they will,” Izzy replied with a small smile. 

“You know what I’ve been thinking about?”

“What’s that?”

“Moving back home.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, Izz. Mami moved back out here after she and Papi divorced…”

“How are you doing with that?”

“My dad announced at their 40th anniversary that they were getting divorced and it turned out he had a girlfriend in her 20s? How would you do with that?”

“True.”

“Mami moved back out here. Maybe I should too.”

“You could always join the NYPD.”

“Yeah, I suppose.”  
_____________________________________  
“Baby?”

“Yeah?” Izzy asked as Rafael stood in the doorway of their room.

“Can I come to bed with you?”

“Of course,” she smiled as she pulled his side of the covers back. 

He came in a laid down beside her. It had been over a month since they had shared a bed, not including his time in the hospital. He had tried but his nightmares were too bad most nights and he didn’t want to risk hurting his wife or waking her even.

He laid down and put his arm around her, pulling her to his chest.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Raf.”

“Thank you for not giving up on me.”

“I would never…”

“I know this has been hard on you. Dr. Lindstrom said when I was ready…”

“As long as you are,” Izzy told him.

“I am. I need to be close to you again,” he told her as he lifted her chin so he could kiss her.

“I’m right here. Never leaving.”

That was the first night, since his first night home after his shooting, that he laid with his wife and fell asleep. He had no nightmares or anything. He was right where he needed and wanted to be.


	94. Chapter 94

“You slept with him because he was naked and I’m sorry but I don’t approve.”

“Oh, come on, Barba,” Rollins laughed. “That’s not the only reason I slept with…”

“Robert?”

“Thanks, Izz. Yeah, Robert. I didn’t sleep with him cause he pulled the ‘Naked Man’ from 'How I Met Your Mother'.”

“Okay whatever. You tell yourself whatever you need to so you can sleep at night. I’m just saying there’s only two reasons to have sex.”

“Rafa come on, there’s plenty of reasons to have sex. Carisi hand me that pen and pad behind you.”

“Name one besides to procreate and love.”

The squad had been invited over for a cook-out at Izzy and Rafael’s, Liv even brought Tucker. Melinda came with Fin but they swore they were just friends. Tony showed up with Erin. Izzy just let it slide and told Amanda to do the same. 

“I’m gonna name 50. Last Thursday for example. I couldn’t sleep so what did I do? ‘Hey, Raf want to do it?’ And he was awake pretty quick.”

“You woke me up at 2 in the morning to have sex because you couldn’t sleep?”

“It was too late to take an Ambien,” she shrugged.

He looked at her like he was actually shocked. “Okay, that’s one.”

“I got 49 to go. There’s make-up sex, break-up sex, and your friend told you about a new position sex.”

“You’re welcome,” Nick laughed.

“How about revenge sex?” Tucker offered.

“That’s good.”

“Rebound.”

“Another good one, Liv.”

“Para trooping.” 

They all kind of looked at Tony for a minute.

“You know, when you go out of town but instead of getting a hotel room, you go straight to a bar with the sole intention of hooking up with a girl so you have a place to stay.” 

“Oh, you mean banging for roof. What, Barba? My college roommate did it.”

“Sure, Rollins.”

“Nothing good on television sex.”

“Done that before, too, Fin.” 

"Hotel room sex.”

“Nice, Carisi.”

"He said he loved you, but you're not ready to say it back yet sex,” Erin added. They kept going and Rafael got a little more agitated the further they went. 

“Forty-three,” Izzy counted out loud. 

"Wingman diving on the friend grenade." 

“Forty-four, Mike."

“The condoms are about to expire." 

“You used that on me during college,” Erin told Tony with a playful slap on his arm.

“Forty-five. Wow, this is getting a little hard.” 

“Forty-six! Okay, four more to go, Izz,” Mike chuckled.

“Ooh! You dropped a chip on his lap and when you reached for it, he thought you were making a move, so you just went with it." 

“Seriously, Izz? The first time we did it on the couch in our apartment at Harvard was because you dropped food on me?”

“Hey, you made the move and I wasn’t going to stop you.”

“Can we just stop with this?” 

“No, I'm having fun. Man, this whole ‘one-partner’ thing sucks sometimes. I'm always talking about you. I can't play ‘I never’ because then everyone would know all the weird stuff I let you do to me.”

Everyone looked at Rafael and Izzy. “It’s not…I don’t…just stop it.”

“I want to hear more about the weird stuff,” Rollins laughed.

“I don’t do anything weird to her.”

“I’m stuck. Two more to go.”

“How about just to change the subject,” Melinda laughed.

“Done that before, too.”

Rafael just looked at his wife and shook his head. “Fine, I got one.”

“Okay, Rafael.”

“I love you.”

“That’s the best one,” she smiled.

“See? Even you could join the fun,” Liv laughed. “So, when are you coming back to work?”

“Uh…another week or…so.”

Everyone sort of got quiet.

“Come on guys, I’m fine. Jack just wanted me to take a little extra time since I’ve been going to therapy. Make sure I’m in fighting form, so to speak.”  
______________________________________________  
After drinks and lively conversation, Amanda stayed back to help Izzy clean up.

“You okay with Erin coming over?”

“Tony said they’re just friends. I can’t live his life for him.”

“I noticed you didn’t say a whole lot to her. Barba didn’t either.”

“She’s gonna have to open that door. I’m not.”

“Can’t say I blame you. I think I hear Jesse.”

“Carisi will probably beat you to her.”

“Probably.”

“There’s nothing going on there…”

“I’ve told you 100 times, we’re just friends,” Amanda said with an eyeroll as she went to check on her daughter.

“Uh, hey.”

“Hey, Tony.”

“I think Erin and I are fixing to head out…”

“What are you doing, Junior?”

“We’re just friends. That’s it.”

“I don’t know what’s been going on with her…”

“You would if you’d talk to her.”

“She’s the one that insulted me and my husband in the courthouse that day.” 

“I know.”

“Look, you’re my brother and I love you. If she hurts you again, FBI or not, I’ll kick the shit out of her.”

“Understood but we are just friends. I promise.”

“Okay.”  
_____________________________________  
“Ana Kapic was repeatedly beaten, raped, and tortured over a period of five years. She was a prisoner in her own home, unable to exercise her own free will or personal autonomy for fear of losing her son and her life. As such, she was acting under extreme duress which we intend to assert as an affirmative defense,” Rita told Judge Hayes.

“I understand your intent, Counselor, but I don't want to turn my murder case into a rape trial. I can't just take your client's word for it.” 

“I understand. You need the word of someone objective, knowledgeable, like Detective Elizabeth Barba from the Special Victims Unit, for example?” Rafael looked in shock when Rita mentioned his wife. The look turned to anger when she walked in the courtroom.

“Detective are you currently investigating Ana Kapic's rape allegations?” Rita asked her. 

“Yes, I am.”

“Do these allegations appear credible?”

“Absolutely. I am convinced without a doubt that Ana Kapic is the victim of a brutal and forcible sexual assault.” She told her while her husband just lightly shook his head as he looked at his wife. After she testified for Rita, Rafael didn’t bother speaking as he walked out of the courtroom. Izzy didn’t even want to go home.  
_______________________________   
“Are you a cop or a defense lawyer?!” He said as he slammed his briefcase on their kitchen table.

“I did what I thought was right.”

“You are aware that our goal is to win this case?”

“What did you want me to do? Perjure myself?”

“I just got done talking to the Chief, the DA, and the Mayor. They're livid. Already looking for a head to serve upon a shiny, silver platter. They stuck their necks out with the Feds just to get this case. Losing is not an option. So, please, pretend you're on our side not theirs,” he told her as he walked upstairs to his home office and slammed the door.

“Everything okay?”

“Just work stuff, Rory. Nothing to worry about,” Izzy told her daughter with a soft smile. 

“You need some help in here?”

“I’ve got it. Thank you, though.”

Izzy almost had dinner ready when Rafael came in the kitchen. “I understand what you’re doing. It’s admiral.”

“But?”

“It’s stupid, self-centered, idealistic.”

“But rape is rape. We don't get to invent our victims or our perps. We hear the evidence, and we investigate unless, of course, you're a Muslim woman who's accused of murder, and then we just throw you under the patriotic bus and live our merry lives.”

“I keep telling you this case is different.”

“I get it. I don’t want to talk about it here anymore. Work is work, home is home. We are not a cop and a lawyer when we walk through that door. Your words remember?”

“I remember,” he said quietly.

“Call the kids for dinner.”

No matter how hard they tried to fight it, work did spill over into their homelife from time to time over the years. This was one of those. Dinner was silent as was cleaning the kitchen. He locked himself in his office after dinner so he could work on the case against Ana Kapic.   
____________________________________________  
Liv and Izzy took Ana’s son, Ali, to visit her before her sister came to take him back to Bosnia while Ana served her sentence. When they got back, there were a dozen pink roses on Izzy’s desk. She kind of smiled as she set them aside so she could finish her paperwork.

She got home to peace and quiet, no kids yelling, no tv’s going. The lights were dimmed and she could hear soft music playing. She sat her flowers on the table by the door. She unloaded her gun and started putting her code into her safe when she noticed a note on the keypad. “Put your stuff away and meet me on the roof. -R.”

She walked out to find him looking out over the city, sleeves rolled up, drink in hand. The sun was starting to set and the air started to cool on that August evening.

“Hey.”

He turned and smiled when he heard her voice. “Hey.”

They walked to meet each other. Before she could speak, his hands cupped her face and he kissed her. He pulled away and kissed her forehead as he wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Me, too,” she echoed. “Where are the kids?”

“RJ is at Cynthia’s with Gil, Ella is at Nick’s with Zara, Cami had a date, Rory wanted to go Mami’s and Matty is at Mike and Alice’s.”

“So, it’s just you and me?”

“Yes it is,” he smiled. “Just you and me. School’s about to start back and after this last case, I thought we needed a night alone.”

“You are such a wonderful husband.”

“I’m not that great.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I wanted to cook dinner but I didn’t have time, so I ordered take-out.”

“I can live with take-out,” she laughed before her arms made their way around his neck, and she pulled him in for another kiss.

He managed to walk her back into their house, without breaking the kiss. She loosened his tie and started unbuttoning his vest as they stood in the living room.

“Damn it,” he laughed as he pulled away from her when the doorbell rang. “That’s gotta be the food.”

“We can finish this later.”

“You stay here.”

He got the food and went straight to the kitchen.

“Do you need some help?”

“I told you to stay in the living room, didn’t I?”

“So, sorry,” she laughed.

“I’ll let you know when I’m ready for you.”

“Okay.”

He called her into the dining room finally where she found her favorite Indian food, a glass of wine and candles lit.

“Aww, Raf.”

“Did I do good?”

“Don’t you always?”

They made love for two hours that night. There was no rushing, no having to be quiet. They took their time with each other, something they hadn’t been able to do in a while.


	95. Chapter 95

After a day of shopping, which Izzy knew would not please her husband if saw the receipts, she quietly walked into the house and to their room.

Izzy was trying to keep an eye out for her husband as she put everything in the closet, so she could slowly bring it out over time. She backed out of the closet and shut the door, not realizing her husband had been standing behind it.

“Oh my god! Rafael you scared the hell out of me!”

“Did you have a good day, mi amor?”

“Uh yeah. I did,” she said as she stood against the closet door.

“Good, that’s really good,” he said as he reached for the doorknob.

“Wha-what are you doing?”

“I just needed to get something out of the closet.”

“I can…I can get it for you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not even sure what I’m looking for.”

“A different shirt?”

“No.”

“Different shoes?”

“Just let me in there, cariño.”

She slowly moved away and let him in.

“No, that’s not it. Nope,” he muttered as he was seemingly going through his own clothes so she decided to walk away and get what she bought him and put it on the bed. Until he came back with her bags that she had came in with and sat them on the bed.

“Where did you find those?”

“You know exactly where I found these. The same place you always hide stuff when you’ve spent too much money. In that cedar chest your grandfather built for you when you were a baby."

“But I bought you something.”

He took the bag from her and did like the two new ties, with matching pocket squares, she had bought for him and the bottle of his favorite cologne. “This is nothing but a bribe.”

“What do you mean?”

“You think as long as you bought me something, I won’t mind you bought all this stuff.”

“No. Now, I bought those for my hardworking husband cause he deserves to look good.”

“Really?” He scoffed.

“What?”

“What have we talked about when it comes to shopping?”

“I haven’t been shopping much. Are you mad, Rafa?”

“Palm…twitchingly mad, Elizabeth,” he said with a low growl. She remembered that line from the first “Fifty Shades of Grey” book and movie.

It had been a while since they had done anything like that so it did turn her on to say the least.

“Is that right, Papi,” she asked as she lightly pulled his tie until he grabbed her wrists.

“Not…yet.” His green eyes had went dark.

“But…”

“You’ll know. I promise,” he said before walking out of the bedroom and back to his office.

That night, they went to bed and he didn’t try anything more than their normal good-night kiss but she held onto, trying to keep him from pulling away.

“I said not…yet,” he told her as he broke away.

“Rafa…”

“Don’t whine. Now, good night.”

“Good night, then,” she replied as she rolled onto her side.  
__________________________________________________  
The next day, the kids were getting ready for school as Izzy and Rafael got ready for work after cooking breakfast.

The kids headed to school and Izzy went to put the combination in her gun safe. Just as she opened the door, Rafael appeared and closed it.

“You’re taking a personal day.”

“But I…”

“It’s taken care of.”

“What about you?”

“I’m working from home.”

“Oh…so just you and me, huh?”

“Yeah, just you and me, he mocked. “Now go in the bedroom and put on the ridiculously expensive bra and panties you bought at Agent Provocateur yesterday and nothing else.”

“O-okay. What about your suit?” Actually, he was only in his pants, suspenders, a white shirt, and that damn rainbow checkered tie.

“You don’t worry about me. Do what I said.”

“Okay, Raf…”

“Okay, who?”

“Okay, Counselor.”

“Try again.”

“Okay, Papi.” 

“That’s better.”  
___________________________________  
She went and put on what he said and came back out looking for him.

He was sitting on the couch with a few files on the coffee table.

“Sit down,” he told her without looking up.

She sat next to him while he worked. He read the files, answered e-mails, completely ignored her. She wasn’t sure if this was some game he was trying to play or if he was really that angry.

Just as she was about to get up and tell him she wasn’t dealing with this, his hand ghosted her left thigh, sending chills through her body.

She started to reciprocate but he quickly grabbed her hand and sat it back on her own leg.

“No te preocupes por mí (Don’t worry about me),” he whispered.

He turned back to his work, answering a call from Carmen.

Izzy was growing impatient as the minutes went on and the soft touches kept coming. He finally closed his files and turned his attention to her neck. He lightly kissed his way around her, the tip of his tongue barely making contact.

After making her moan, not to mention wet beyond belief, he picked up his files. “Well, I’m gonna continue this upstairs.”

“Raf…”

“I really need to get this done,” he told her as he kissed her forehead.

“Then I’m getting dressed.”

“No, you’re not,” he told her sternly as he pulled her back to the couch. “You want some attention?”

“Uh…uh…”

“Answer me. Are you wanting some attention?”

“P-p-please.”

“Fine. Lay across my knees.”

“But…”

“You want attention then I’m going to give you some.”

She did what he said. He ran his huge hand down her back to her ass. Without warning, his hand landed hard enough she knew it would leave a mark. If the first one didn’t, the second one surely would’ve.

“Are you satisfied?”

“Yes, Papi,” she responded with labored breath.

“Good, now I have work to do.”

“Okay.”

“I will, however, let you put on your black silk robe if that will make you more comfortable.”

“Okay.”  
_________________________________  
He picked up his files and went to his office while she went and grabbed her robe. She soon followed and sat in the corner chair of his office while he typed away on his laptop. She could see him look up every so often as she sat in the chair, her legs draped over the arm, and her robe open.

He heard her moan lightly and looked up to find her having some fun with herself.

He immediately got up, took off his tie, her favorite one of course and tied up her wrists.

“Did I ever say you could touch yourself?”

“No, Papi.”

“Then why did you? Are you needing more attention?”

“Yes,” she replied almost shyly.

“Stand up and put your hands on my desk.”

The first smack landed, making her knees buckle.

“Might I remind you, coming is against the rules,” he whispered in her ear before his hand landed again. “You enjoy this, don’t you?”

She started to answer but his hand landed again.

“I asked you a question. You like this. This isn’t punishment.”

“Yes, Papi.”

He turned her to face him, his erection was more than obvious.

Even though her wrists were tied together, her hands traveled, just barely brushing his dick outside his black pants.

“That’s it. You’re coming with me,” he told her as he grabbed her hands and took her to their room. He picked her up and laid her on their bed. “Sit up,” he told her as he began taking his own clothes off.

She wasn’t sure what to expect when he sat behind her in just his boxers and undershirt, wrapping his legs around her. He untied her robe and slowly slid it off her shoulders. She felt his lips on the back of her neck, then her shoulders as his hands ran along her arms slowly.

“Papi,” she moaned.

“No, mi reina, it’s just me now,” he whispered against her back as he kissed down her spine.

He came back up and pulled her back enough so his lips could meet hers. He helped her turn around to sit in his lap while she took off his shirt, tossing it behind her.

Once they were both naked, he brought her back to his lap. He held her as she slowly moved up and down on him, their eyes never leaving each other. 

For the first time in they could remember, they came together.

She rested her forehead against his as they caught their breaths. She had expected something completely different after how he had acted for a better part of the day but this had been even better.

“I love you,” he told her before kissing her.

“I love you, too,” she replied before getting off of him and laying down.

“Well, the kids don’t get out of school for another…3 hours. I think we’ve earned a nap.”

“I think so, too, Rafa,” she smiled as she stroked his cheek.


	96. Chapter 96

“Hey, Dad.” What are you watching?” 

“Just this documentary on the Vietnam war, Junior.”

“Is Mom already asleep?”

“Yeah, she took a pretty hard fall today. Tackled a guy twice her size from what your Uncle Nick said. You finished all of your homework?”

“Yep. All done. So, I got a question.”

“Okay, I could possibly have an answer.”

“When do I get my gift?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The girls all got gifts when they ‘became women’ or whatever. What about me? I’m becoming a man.”

“Since when,” Rafael chuckled.

“Come on, I have pubes now.”

“Okay, that’s more than I needed to hear,” his dad said raising his hand. “That doesn’t make you a man.”

“Still, I’m going through changes, too.”

“And so you think you need a gift because you’re growing hair on your body where you didn’t have it before?”

“Pretty much,” RJ replied.

“I tell you what. When you come to me, like a man, and tell me you’re ready to have sex, I’ll buy you your first box of condoms. That’ll be your gift.”

“Oh, come on, Dad. You know that’s not going to happen for a long time and besides, that’s what $10?”

“Not good enough, huh? Alright, you don’t make me a grandfather before you graduate college, then we’ll talk.”

“Uggghhh! Really?”

“I think that’s more than fair.”

“Not really.”

“I just spent an obscene amount of money on your football gear and you’re wanting more? Who are you, Cami?”

“No.”

“You have a long way before becoming a man. The girls aren’t exactly grown up at this point. You get what I’m saying?”

“I guess.”

“You’ll understand one day. You’re only 11 and in the sixth grade. Stop trying to grow up. You’ll wake up one day, married to your college sweetheart with 5 of the most ungrateful children on the planet.”

“Dad we’re not that bad,” RJ laughed.

“Okay, I’m exaggerating but you get my point? Once you start really growing up, time really does fly. Your mother and I just turned 42 but it seems like we just met and fell in love at Harvard last year. Cami is about to be 16, then Matty turns 8, you and Ella will be 12, with Rory turning 14 in June. It doesn’t seem real.”

“I get it, Dad.”

“Enjoy your childhood while you can.”  
______________________________________  
“I am so tired of this!!!”

“Oh, what’s wrong now?” Rafael asked when he heard his oldest from her room.

“I told you I didn’t use your lip gloss!!!” Rory shot back.

“Jesus.”

“No, I took it because you took my mascara,” Ella joined in.

“All 3 of them have their periods at the same time. Just like you and Erin in college,” Rafael said as he shook his head.

“Dad you have got to do something,” RJ said as he came in the living room.

“It’s just that time…”

“Matty is in his room like he’s scared to come out because of those three.”

“You know what, go get your brother and his coat.”

“What?”

“Sorry, Izz but I’m getting the boys out of the house for a little while.”

“So, you’re leaving me here with Satan’s daughters?”

“We won’t be gone long. Maybe you can do something with them.”

“Fine.”  
______________________________________  
Wouldn’t be gone long’s ass. They were gone for nearly 4 hours, leaving Izzy constantly getting between her daughters. The last thing she threatened, they finally stopped fighting. The thought of no technology at all was enough.

“We’re home!”

“Where did you go?”

“Knicks had a home game. Crappy seats but it got us away from those crazy girls,” RJ answered.

“You left me here with THEM to go to a Knicks game?”

“I’m sorry, cariño, but it’s every month with this. The boys don’t deserve to be cooped up with that crap going on. I noticed it’s quiet now.”

“Yeah, it is. Finally.”

“How did you swing that?”

“Just told them I would take every electronic out of their rooms.”

“And that actually worked.”

“I might’ve been a little scary.”

“You usually save ‘Scary Izzy’ for perps.”

“It’s not funny.”

“I’m sorry, mi amor but I couldn’t take it anymore and the boys couldn’t either.”

“No, I get it.”

“Look, I have some files I need to go over so I’m gonna go up to my office.”

“Okay.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. I’m about to start dinner.”  
_________________________________  
“Daddy?”

“What’s up, Matty?”

“Why do the girls act like that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Fighting and screaming?”

“It’s something…you’re a little too young to understand it right now. It’s just part of being a girl. Once a month, they get crazy.”

“Does Mommy get crazy like that?”

“She used to.”

“But not anymore?”

“Not since you were born.”

“Why?”

“Well, you know how you were born and you were very tiny?”

“Cause I was early and Mommy got sick.

“Right. Well, that something happened to Mommy that made her sick and caused you be born early and that part…that thing that would make her crazy once a month stopped.”

“Oh.”

“I’ll explain it better when you’re older.”

“Okay.”

“But if that didn’t happen, we’d have 4 crazy women in this house as opposed to just 3,” Rafael chuckled. “So, it could always be worse. Why don’t we go see if Mommy needs any help with dinner?”

“Yeah.”

Izzy was in the kitchen, enjoying the peace and quiet when her youngest son came up and tugged on her yoga pants.

“What’s up, Matteo?”

He just stretched out his arms so she bent down to hug him.

“I’m sorry you can’t be crazy anymore once a month because of me.”

“Aww, baby, it’s okay,” she laughed as she looked up at her husband. Tears kind of filled her eyes as he hugged her tighter. “You know, it was worth it because I got to be here with you.”

“I’m glad.”

“Me, too.”


	97. Chapter 97

NOVEMBER 8TH, 2016:

“I hope everyone voted today,” Liv said as they sat around the squad room, having just wrapped another case. “I know we’ve been busy but this election is so important.”

“I still say Bernie was robbed of the nomination.”

“We know, Carisi,” Amanda chuckled.

“I still voted for Hilary though.”

“I think everyone in here did,” Fin added. “We don’t need some pussy grabbing, sorry ladies, draft dodging, C-student at best, cheet-o running this country.”

“Fin’s right,” Izzy agreed. “W might have been a C-student but what do you expect from a family when the smart brother is named ‘Jeb’?”

“Copy that,” Nick replied with a laugh. “So, I guess everyone will just be around their TV’s tonight.”

“That’s the plan in my house. I think Mike and Alice are coming over for dinner.”

“Barba and his little brother,” Fin teased.

“Hey, they get a long really well, believe it or not,” Izzy laughed. “And Alice is just the sweetest.”

“So, Tony still maintaining he and Erin are just friends?”

“That’s what he says, Rollins. My mother doesn’t even believe him though.”

“You should just knock her on her ass once.”

“Nick!”

“I’m NOT advocating violence but I think Izzy would feel a lot better.”

“Eh, if my brother’s happy, fine. I’m not going to interfere. If she does hurt my brother though, that FBI shield won’t stop me from kicking her ass all the way down Flatbush Ave.”

“That’s my girl. Well, I’m gonna punch out and head over to Cynthia’s.”

“Oh, really, Amaro?”

“We’re taking things…slow.”

“You have a kid together,” Liv snickered. “How slow can you possibly go?”

“We’re not hanging some big expectations on everything right now.”

“Well, have a good night,” Carisi chuckled. “Hey, Rollins, how about I get some stuff and come over, make spaghetti for you and Jesse?”

“That sounds like a plan to me.”

“Just for the record, Jesse prefers my spaghetti to yours,” Izzy joked.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go, Rollins.”

Fin, Izzy, and Liv watched as the two of them walked out.

“And they’re still saying they’re just friends?”

“Don’t ask, Liv,” Izzy replied as she shook her head after closing her laptop. “Well, I will see you guys tomorrow after our first woman president is elected.”

“See you, then,” Fin said with a wave.  
_______________________________________________  
Izzy walked in to her house to find Rafael and Mike in the kitchen. “What are you guys up to?” She asked as she greeted her husband with a kiss on the cheek.

“Cooking dinner, cariño, of course.”

“I know that, Rafa. What are you guys making?”

“I marinated a pork roast over night in a few different things,” Mike told her. 

“And I’ve thrown carrots and baby potatoes seasoned with it.”

“Well, sounds like you boys have been kind of busy. Where’s my future sister in law?”

“She will be here in about an hour,” Mike answered. “She still had three more patients when I talked to her and then she’ll be here.”

“Great. Well, I am going to change and check on the kids. If you boys need any help, just let me know.”

“You got it, mi amor.”

Alice showed up a little later and it was time for dinner. They sat around discussing how they just knew history was going to be made because the American people had to be smart enough to realize a vote for Trump was a vote for racism and a vote to but help the rich and not those that actually needed it.

After dinner and the kitchen was clean, CNN was on the 60 inch TV mounted on the wall in their living room.

They watched in horror as Trumps numbers kept going up. They expected him to win the red states, sure but they couldn’t believe what they were seeing.

It was getting late, polls were still closing, but they sent the kids to bed. Mike and Alice finally headed home around 11pm.

2:35 AM, news spread that Hilary had finally conceded the Presidency to Donald J. Trump. Izzy and Rafael went to bed in silence.  
________________________________________  
“Mom tell me this isn’t real,” Cami said the next morning at breakfast after seeing the news on Facebook.

“It’s real alright.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“Me either. Come on, let’s go eat breakfast.”

Matty didn’t understand a lot of what was going on, but he still had a good idea. Ella and RJ were just as shocked as their parents and big sisters.

“What does this mean for us?” Rory asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean us as a family. He’s done nothing but spread hate during his whole campaign and push this immigration stuff. I guess I’ve never thought to ask where you were born, Dad.”

“Yeah, Rory’s right,” Cami added. “Will we be split apart?”

Rafael sat his coffee down and took a hand of each of his oldest daughters. “I was born in the South Bronx at 4:39pm on October 24, 1974, in the same hospital Bibi was in when she fell. We have nothing to worry about. Okay?”

“Okay,” Cami smiled. “What about Abuelita?”

“She was born in Queens. Your mother and I are the grandchildren of immigrants. We’re 2nd generation American’s.”

“Making us third,” RJ added.

“Exactly, Junior. I wasn’t born in Cuba, your mother wasn’t born in Italy. Abuelita was born in Queens, Nonna and Pop-Pop were born in Brooklyn. No matter what happens in this administration, they can’t tear us apart.”  
__________________________________________  
“Anybody else feel like we woke up in a George Orwell novel?” Carisi asked as they squad all quietly filed in the morning after the election.

“That idiot goes bankrupt like Khloe Kardashian changes black dudes,” Fin scoffed as he sat in his chair.

“Rafael had to explain to our kids this morning that we weren’t going to be split up.”

“Barba’s an American citizen, isn’t he?”

“Born and raised in the South Bronx. My mother in law was born in Queens, Carisi, but you know until now, my kids never had a reason for that to be a concern. I guess they just always assumed that he was but never really knew,” Izzy replied.

“They need to get rid of that fucking electoral college,” Rollins added. “They want people to get out and vote, we do, and yet it’s left in the hands of someone else? What’s democratic about that?”

“Ed was just speechless last night,” Liv said as she sat on Izzy’s desk. “I mean, Noah being raised in a country where a reality star who thinks if you want something from a woman, you can just take it? I can’t wrap my head around it.”

“You know, Rafa and I were talking about that on the way here this morning. We just got to reiterate to our boys ourselves about the importance of consent.”

“You’re absolutely right, Izz.”

“You’re being awfully quiet, Fin,” Nick noticed.

“You know, I love this country, even though at times, it doesn't love me back. For my whole life, my parents, my grandparents, me, my son, for most black people, this system has never worked for us. But we still played ball, tried to do our best to live by the rules even though we knew they would never work out in our favor. Black people wake up every day believing that our lives are gonna change, even though everything around us says it's not. Truth be told, you ask most black people, and they tell you that no matter who won this election, they didn't expect the ghetto to get better. But they still voted, because that's what you're supposed to do. Honestly, I'm terrified about what Trump's about to do. Not just for myself, the people of this city that I protect, but mainly for my son and son in law.”

“Well, said, Fin,” Izzy told him.

“When Ken and Alejandro left with Jayden last night, I worried until I knew they were home safely. I have worried since Alejandro was attacked a few years back. Now, with my grandson, I’ll worry times 3. I’m just not going to let it turn me into another angry black man.”

“Well, you get pretty angry when you’re hungry,” Amanda joked to break the tension in the squad room.

“You got me on that one,” Fin laughed.

“Okay, guys, as much as we hate what happened, we still have a city to protect.”

“Copy that, Lieu,” Carisi told Liv as he got up to get some coffee.  
______________________________________

TWO DAYS LATER:

Rory was at her middle school, enjoying lunch with her best friends, Priscilla, Angelina, and Miley. All four of them were half Latino of some sort and half something else.

They were carrying on a conversation, mostly in Spanish like they usually did when this blond haired boy in their grade, Hunter Davis walked up to their table with a “MAGA” hat on, even though their African-American principal had told him several times to put it away.

“How’s it going, wetbacks?”

“What did you say?”

“You heard me, Rory. Shouldn’t you have a name like ‘Lupe’ or ‘Consuela’?”

“Uh, no?”

“You guys need to learn to speak English. Not that gibberish you’re always speaking at lunch.”

“Why don’t you just go away?”

“Make me, Rory. Oh, wait, Trump is fixing to send you and your whole family back to Mexico anyways.”

That mix of Cuban and Italian blood ran through the normally respectful, studious Barba child but she remained calm.

“At least I don’t look like Hitler’s wet dream,” she shot back.

“Damn,” Priscilla laughed.

“Just do us all a favor and swim right back across the Rio Grande…”

“I’m half Cuban, you prick,” Rory said before she punched him square in the nose, sending him to the ground, the “MAGA” hat a few feet away from him. “I was born in Brooklyn, twatwaffle.”

“She got you!” Miley laughed.

“What do expect? I’m the daughter of a cop.”

“Miss Barba my office,” the principal said.

Rory picked up her backpack and walked out of the cafeteria, the same way her father would strut out of the courtroom after winning a case.  
_______________________________________  
“Hey, Liv?”

“What’s up, Izz?”

“I gotta go.”

“Everything okay?”

“Rory just got into a fight at a school.”

“She WHAT?!” Fin laughed.

“Well, it wasn’t so much of a fight as she punched some boy, busting his nose, and sending him to the ground.”

“Sounds like her mother,” Nick smiled.

“Why would she do that?”

“I’m about to go find out, Rollins.”

“Yeah, that is not like her. Ella I could see doing that but Rory?”

“Somebody did something to piss her off, Liv.”

“Well, let me know how it goes.”  
____________________________________________  
The principal explained to Izzy and Rafael what had happened in the cafeteria. After other students made written statements, the worst Rory was getting was two days suspension, basically meaning a four day weekend for her. The other student, while the principal couldn’t go into specific detail, received a much worse punishment.

Rafael and Izzy thanked her for her time and took Rory home.

“So, how much trouble am I in?” Rory asked after she put her things in her room while her parents talked.

“None,” Rafael told her.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. You were being harassed and you did what you had to after trying to diffuse the situation with words.”

“I don’t understand how someone in the eighth grade can be so ignorant already. His ancestors weren’t born here, I’m sure.”

“Ignorance is learned, mija. It’s taught. You don’t just come out of the womb like that,” Rafael said.

“I’m sorry I let my temper get the best of me like that.”

“It happens,” Izzy chuckled. "Trust me. It's happened to me on the job."

“Now, even though we’re not grounding you, you’re not just getting a free pass Friday and Monday.”

“Okay, Dad?”

“You’re gonna come work in my office those two days. You can help Carmen when she needs copies made and things like that.”

“Fair enough,” Rory said with a smile.

“Did you really tell him he looked like Hitler’s wet dream?” Izzy asked.

“Hitler wanted a master race, blond hair, blue eyes. Hunter fit the description,” she shrugged.

“So does Ella,” Izzy laughed.

“Yeah but that’s the thing about being Hispanic. You can’t tell just by looking at us. We’re different colors. Sammy Sosa, Cameron Diaz, I mean they’re good examples of that.”

“She’s right,” Izzy remarked as she looked at her husband.

“She most definitely is,” Rafael agreed.


	98. Chapter 98

“Have you guys seen that new intern at the DA’s office? Wow,” Carisi said having just come back from Barba’s office.

“Yeah, we know, Carisi,” Izzy said rolling her eyes.

“Oh, don’t be jealous, Izz. You know Barba wouldn’t stray.”

“He better not is all I got to say. He wouldn’t want to pay child support for 5 kids. Where’s your partner?”

“She was going to by to check on Jesse since she was still running a fever when she left this morning.”

“Okay,” she responded as she picked up her desk phone before putting it back down.

“You okay?” Nick asked her.

“Yeah. Uh, tell Liv I had to step out.”

“No problem.”  
________________________________  
Truth was, she had seen that intern and to say she was pretty was an understatement. She watched the way she walked the halls of 1 Hogan Place in her tight skirts and high heels knowing her husband was sure to have noticed, too.

She walked up to his long-time assistant, Carmen, who greeted the detective with a smile.

“Hey, Izzy.”

“Hey, Carmen. Is my husband busy?”

“I don’t believe so. You can go on in,” she told her.

Izzy walked in to find her husband deep in one of his law books.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing here,” he smiled as he looked up.

“Just thought I’d see what my husband was up to.”

“Seeing if I can charge Vincent Love with anything. I’m also waiting on warrants for his studio and his office that you and Benson wouldn’t let me get out of the office without asking for,” he chuckled.

“Hype isn’t going to roll on him, no matter what we find, though.”

“You never know. So, you don’t make it a habit of coming to see me in the middle of the day unless you need something.”

“Rafa.”

“Am I wrong?”

“Hmm, about 50%,” she laughed. “I just wanted to see you.”

“Mr. Barba? Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve got those warrants you asked for.”

“Thank you, Allie. You remember my wife?”

“Sure, Detective, how are you?”

“Better now that I have my warrants,” she said as she took them from the brunette with brown eyes that stood in front of her before turning back to watch her husband.

“Do you need…anything else, Mr. Barba?”

“No, that’s it, Allie, thank you.”

“Anytime,” she smiled as she batted her eyes before walking out.

Izzy just kind of stood there.

“Are you going to take those warrants to Liv or are just going to turn into a very sexy statue?”

“Uh, right. Yeah. I’m going. I’ll see you at home.”

“I might be a little late.”

“What’s that?”

“I have a meeting with McCoy and Cutter at 4.”

“Oh, okay. Well, I’ll see you when you get home.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.”  
____________________________________  
“Cariño what’s wrong?” Rafael asked her after they made love one night after a shitty day in court.

“What do you mean?” 

“You faked your orgasm for starters.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Elizabeth come on. We’ve been sleeping together for 22 years. I think I know when you have an orgasm and when you don’t. It took me forever to figure out how to get you there without my tongue in the first place.”

“I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Like what?”

“It’s nothing important.”

“It was important enough to keep your mind occupied while I used some of my best moves,” he kind of laughed. “So, come on, tell me.”

“Okay. You ever wish you had been with someone other than me?”

“That’s a hard no. I love that about us.”

“I know but you don’t regret that you didn’t get to experience anyone else?”

“What did I just say? Why? Do you?”

“No.”

“Then are you asking me that?”

“That…Allie or whatever her name is.”

“Mi amor you can’t even think I would do something like that. Do you?”

She just kind of shrugged. “You’re gonna tell me you haven’t noticed the way she looks at you? The way she dresses isn’t very professional by the way.”

“I didn’t hire her, baby. Jack did.”

“Wonder why,” she scoffed.

“Stop. Do we really have to go through this again after everything over Yelina a few years ago?”

“No,” she answered quietly.

“Good. I love you and only you. We’ve made not one but two sets of vows and I never plan to break any of them. ¿Entiendes?”

“Yeah,” she nodded.

“Okay. Now tomorrow night, you better give me your best,” he told her with that smirk.

“I promise.”

“Also, if you’re gonna fake it, do a better job.”

“Raf!”

“I knew from the first moan you were not here.”

“Whatever.”

“You know I know your tells.”

“Hush and go to sleep.”  
______________________________________  
Raindrop, drop, drop top/Smokin' on cookie in the hotbox/Fuckin' on your bitch she a thot, thot, thot/Cookin' up dope in the crockpot/We came from nothin' to somethin' nigga   
I don't trust nobody grip the trigger/Call up the gang, and they come and get you/Cry me river, give you a tissue/My bitch is bad and boujee/Cookin' up dope with a Uzi 

“What is that god awful racket coming from RJ’s room,” Rafael asked as he stormed into the kitchen.

“Some song by some guy.”

“You don’t say, Izz. He needs to turn that shit down.”

“Rain drop, drop top…”

“Matteo Vincent I don’t want to hear that crap coming from you, either.”

“Sorry, Dad. That’s the only part of the song I can really understand.”

“So much the better,” he told his youngest son and he walked upstairs.

RJ had the music up so loud he couldn’t even hear his Dad knocking so he just opened the door.

“Everyone in the house can hear that crap!”

“Sorry, Dad,” RJ said as he turned his Bose down.

“What have I told you? You have a very impressionable little brother and he doesn’t need to be going around singing songs that say ‘cookin’ up dope with an UZI’. Plus I’m trying to do some work in the dining room.”

“If you don’t like it then maybe you should stay at your office downtown.”

“What did you just say to the man that pays your phone bill, among other things? Hmm? I’d think real long and hard about your answer, too.”

“I’ll keep it turned down,” he said quickly.

“Good. Smart off to me again like that and your phone and iPad become mine. This is your one warning.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Your Uncle Fin is coming for dinner so make sure you’re down there on time.”

“Yes, sir,” he repeated.

Fin showed up with his grandson in tow. “You miss having one that little, shorty?”

“Sometimes,” she laughed as she wiped the drool off his Jayden’s chin, “but then I remember that in two years they start leaving and going to college and all those feelings go away. I can spoil Jayden, Jesse, and Noah and send them on.”

“Hey, Uncle Fin.”

“What’s up, RJ? Your mom and dad said you’ve been kicking ass on the football field.”

“Hell yeah.”

“Junior.”

“Sorry, Dad. Yes, I have, Uncle Fin. Last game, I had 7 tackles.”

“Look at you. I’ll have to come watch the game Saturday.”

“You have to. So, Uncle Fin, I want to ask you a question.”

“What’s that?”

“You listen to rap, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Dad is always getting on to me when I listen to it.”

“No, I get on to you when your brother is repeating the lyrics. Big difference and that shit you listen to is awful. It’s just noise.”

“It’s music.”

“No, it’s noise, RJ. Pure and utter migraine inducing noise.”

“What song was it?” Fin asked.

“Bad and Boujee.”

“I have to side with your dad on this one. That is noise.”

“Mom listens to Run DMC, NWA…”

“But you see the difference with that kind of rap and what you’re listening to is the fact that they produced art. The lyrics meant something. NWA rapped about growing up in the hood, it was real. Run DMC, their song ‘It’s Like That’ told a story. This stuff that you kids listen to today, well, I really don’t know what it’s about except guns, money, and women.”

“Thank you, Fin,” Rafael said. “You want to listen to rap, then listen to the stuff your mother listens to. Learn about the struggles of people.”

“Ugh, fine,” he said as he rolled his eyes.  
__________________________________________  
Izzy was enjoying a Saturday alone with Rafael, Mike, and Tony took the kids to watch RJ’s football game. She had been fighting a cold and her husband insisted she stayed home so it didn’t get worse.

She was catching up on her shows when there was knock on her door.

“Erin?”

“Uh, hey. You busy?”

“Um, no. Come on in, I guess. Get you a drink?”

“Sure.”

“I’m out of Grey Goose.”

“A beer would be fine.”

They sat in silence as a recorded episode of “The Goldberg’s” played on the TV in the living room.

“So, how’s things been going?”

“Erin you’ve known me long enough to know that I don’t like smoke being blown up my ass. What are you here for?”

“We haven’t talked much the last year or so…”

“It’s been almost two years since you not only insulted my husband but me in the courthouse on Centre street.”

“I was just upset…”

“Yeah, I get that. I understand you took care of Nadia and I believe we let you stay here while when we tracked Yates out here.”

“I know.”

“You didn’t bother calling when I got shot and I know you knew. Dawson and Al sent me flowers.”

“I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me.”

“Your recklessness caused my brother in law to get shot just a few months later and where were you when my husband was fighting for his life? Not a phone call, a text, a post on Facebook. Nothing but radio silence from you. How do you think that made me feel?”

“I don’t know.”

“You would’ve hated me had the tables been turned.”

“So, that’s it now?”

“Erin…you’ve always been one of my best friends. I sat and watched you play with my brother countless times, never interfered, when I should’ve. I didn’t cause he’d ask me not to. You’ve always felt the need to throw up in my face that I was a virgin all through our first year of college…”

“I’ve never meant…”

“You think I wanted everyone knowing that? I mean yeah, Nick knew. Amanda and Liv knew but Jesus Christ. Come up with some new material.”

“I’m sorry about all of it. I should’ve called when you got shot. No, I should’ve been out here, especially when Rafael got shot.”

“Yeah, you should’ve.”

“To be honest, I’ve felt like…when Rollins came into the picture…”

“You’ve been jealous of Amanda. Really? Did you expect me not to have other friends?”

“You were the closest thing I had to a sister. I mean, Louise was one thing but you and Rollins are so much closer. Your second wedding? She took my place.”

“Maybe I am closer to her but that’s because she’s here. If I’m having a problem, I don’t have to get on a plane to have someone to talk to over a few drinks.”

“I mean, I’m here now.”

“But for how long?”

“Forever.”

“Answer me this.”

“What’s that?”

“What is going on with you and my brother?”

“We’re not…”

“Don’t lie to me, Erin Nicole Lindsay.”

“Nothing serious. We’re just taking it a step at a time.”

“Uh-huh, well I’m going to tell you this one time and one time only. You hurt him this time and that FBI shield won’t protect you. I will beat your ass up and down Madison Ave.”

“Tony said Flatbush.”

“I don’t care what fucking street it is.”

“I got it. So, we good?”

“We will be one day."


	99. Chapter 99

“I just don’t understand why every time I come to your office, there she is.”

“We are not having this argument again!” Rafael told his wife. “She works there!”

“Was she assigned directly to you?”

“No. She works for all the ADA’s when they need her. When did you become so insecure?”

“I’m not.”

“This is not the woman I married! The woman I married was never jealous, she was sure about who she was, she never doubted how I felt about her. You don’t have a problem with Carmen.”

“Carmen doesn’t undress you with her eyes either!”

“This is fucking Yelina all over again. I can’t believe we’re here…again.”

“I’ve seen you look at her.”

“I look at Liv and I look at Rollins. Doesn’t mean I want them!”

“Where are you going?”

“Out! I’m not going to keep having this argument every fucking night.”

“Fine. Just go.”  
___________________________________

“I don’t know what her deal is, Liv,” Rafael told her as they sat at Forlini’s. “I’ve never given her a reason to be like this.”

“Oh, I know, but try to see it from her point, too, Rafa.”

“And that point would be what?”

“She’s in her 40s, Allie is in her 20s. I mean, Izzy is seeing someone younger, possibly able to give you things she can’t constantly around you.”

“She’s already given me everything I wanted and then some. I’ve never given her a reason to be insecure or jealous for that matter. And it’s not like I can fire her.”

“I have noticed that she is a little…on the flirty side. I don’t agree that Izzy should keep bringing it up but, like I said, I see her point.”

“So, I’m just supposed to keep having this argument every single fucking night after dinner, with our kids hearing it?”

“No, you’re not. Walking out wasn’t the answer, either.”

“Sure it was,” Nick said as he walked up.

“What are you doing here?”

“Cynthia is acting crazy. I just had to get out of the house.”

“That makes us two of us.”

“Hey, Mini-Dodds,” Nick laughed. “What’s wrong in your house?”

“Oh, I don’t appreciate anything Alice does. I don’t understand that her job is just as hard as mine, if not more so.”

“Well, I think I’ll leave you boys alone,” Liv laughed as she finished her wine.  
___________________________________  
The three of them moved to a table and continued drinking, talking about the problems with their women. Anthony, the long time bartender, called Fin to come get them.

“That’s it. We’re getting a divorce,” Rafael slurred. “I’m gonna call her up and tell her, *hiccup*, I want a divorce.”

“No, you’re not,” Nick laughed. “You two are made for each other.”

“You want to piss a woman off? Send her text saying that,” he said as he picked up his phone until Fin grabbed it. 

“You got a good woman. Just go work it out,” he told Rafael.

“Nah, I’m not gonna leave her. I'm just right now... I'm teaching her a lesson.” 

“Yeah. What lesson is that?” 

“You know what the lesson is, Mike? I don’t have to be there. That's the real lesson. I don't... I don't... I don't have to be there. I can go…at any time.” 

“What about you, Amaro?”

“I can just go back to my house. I really don’t have to be at her place.”

“Do you love Cynthia?”

“Come on, Fin.”

“Answer the question.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Then fix it. Do I even have to ask you, Mike?”

“No, I get it, Fin. I’ll make up with Alice.”

“Barba, man, I’ve known Shorty for a long time. You and I both know there’s something bothering for to act the way she’s been acting.”

“Yeah, you’re right, Fin. I’ll talk to her but not *hiccup* tonight.”

“You’ll be lucky to make it home,” Mike laughed.

“Maybe, to continue with my lesson, I should sleep in my office.”

“And make the situation worse?”

“That’s true, Nick. Fin give me my phone. I need to get an Uber.”  
___________________________________________

Rafael got home to find his wife sitting up in there bed, watching TV. Without saying a word, he grabbed his pajamas and went to the guestroom. Izzy really wasn’t that surprised, considering how angry he was when he left. 

Maybe she was being way too dramatic about that girl. Rafael had never given her a reason to think he’d ever have eyes for anyone but her. He constantly had showered her with affection over the years, made her feel loved and special. 

She thought about going in and crawling in that bed with him but just decided to leave it alone for the night. 

The next day, he showered and got dressed for work early. “Where’s Dad?”

“Uh, he had to go in early, Ella,” her mother lied. Izzy knew why he had left earlier than normal. It was because he didn’t want to fight with her, even though she had already told herself she wasn’t going to say anything about Allie.  
__________________________________  
“Hey Izz?”

“Yeah, Liv?”

“Lawrence Hendricks girlfriend is heading over to Barba’s office. I think it’s time we let her know about those Quaaludes we found in Eric's room.”

“Do I have to, Liv?”

“Did you not pass the Sergeant’s Exam?”

“Yeah.”

“Even though you haven’t been pinned yet, you’re still my Sergeant. I need you to table whatever’s going on at home and come with me.”

“Copy that, Lieutenant,” she said as she got up from her desk.  
_______________________________________  
“You're facing a charge of tampering with evidence,” Rafael told the 40-something year old girlfriend of Avalon Stores owner Lawrence Hendricks.

“For what?” Sue Ann Daly asked.

“Planting your boyfriend's Quaaludes in his grandson's room to throw us off your boyfriend's trail,” Izzy told her.

“Look, an FBI forensic report just came back. And your fingerprints are all over the bag. So either tell the truth or go to prison. 9:00 a.m. tomorrow, show up ready to testify or you'll be arrested,” Liv countered.

“This is outrageous,” she scoffed as she got up to walk out.

“She did plant those Quaaludes, right?”

“She shows up at 9:00 a.m., she did. If not…”Izzy told her husband with a shrug.

“Did you ever get a report back on the fingerprints?”

“It's inconclusive,” Liv answered.

“You two could rule the world,” he said with a small laugh.

“We do what we can,” Liv replied before they started to walk out.

“Izz?”

“Yeah?”

“Hang back for a moment?”

“I’ll catch up, Liv.”

“Okay.”

“Did you need something, Rafa?”

“Yeah. You,” he said with a small smile.

“I’m sorry about…”

“Stop. What’s going on with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve never acted like this before. Why now?”

“I guess…I don’t know. I know it’s been almost 9 years since my hysterectomy but sometimes I still feel…well…I don’t feel complete.

“Baby why haven’t you told me this?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged.

“You think that because you had that taken away from you so young that I would want someone else that could give me more kids?”

“No. I don’t know. I just see her in those short skirts, those low cut shirts…”

“Will you stop? You are so beautiful. You don’t look 42 at all, mi amor.”

“I’m sorry, Rafa.”

“Talk to me. Don’t blow up on me, don’t start fights, just talk to me. I’m begging you. We’ve been together almost 23 years. I don’t want anyone but you.”

“You’re right. Again…”

“No more apologies.”

“Okay,” she nodded.

“I just talked to Cami. They’re all fine and she ordered pizza. Why don’t I take my beautiful wife to dinner?”

“I’d like that, babe.”

“Come on. We have a big day in court tomorrow.”

After dinner, they opted to walk home instead of taking a cab or an Uber. Sure, it was cold but they always enjoyed those walks. She’d cuddle up around his arm that wasn’t carrying his briefcase and rest her head on his shoulder as they’d walk and talk.

They had almost made it to their house when a downpour hit.

“Come on, Rafa,” Izzy laughed as she took off running.

“Wait, wait,” he told her as he pulled her hand.

“What?”

As the cold rain fell, he pulled her to him and kissed her in the rain. It was one of those knee weakening kisses. He wouldn’t let her go, even though the rain was ruining the product he used to keep his hair back and the curls she had made that morning were ruined.

“Stop doubting how I feel about you. I want only you.”

“I know, Rafa.”

“Good. Come on. Let’s get inside before we catch pneumonia,” he laughed as they ran up their steps.

After the kids were asleep, they had one of those nights in bed where he held her hand as he made love to her. Her fingers kneaded his back as he went in and out of her, making her come over and over again.  
____________________________________________  
“So, Mr. Hendricks, uh, we've heard testimony here, sir, that you've given women Quaaludes as a prelude to sex,” Rafael said in his cross examination of Lawrence Hendricks.

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes those pills are just thigh openers. Everybody uses them. No big deal. That lovely detective is your wife. What is she? 29, 30? With a hot little number like that, you must need…”

“Your honor.”

Izzy felt disgusted just at Hendricks’ words.

“Just answer the questions you are asked, Mr. Hendricks.”

“Even if the women don't know?”

“How could they not know? If they're coming to party, they know what to expect.”

“And there's a young woman who's, uh, accusing you of rape.”

“I don't know what's going on with her.”

“And she says you drugged her without her knowledge.”

“After she had sex with Eric, she was already partying. They came out of his bedroom. I had a drink with them. Eric went to sleep, and then it was my turn.”  
________________________________  
“Well that went as about bad as it could go,” Rafael scoffed as Liv, Izzy, and Nick followed him into his office after court.

“What about the grandson?”

“Come on, Liv. He holds his grandfather on a pedestal. There’s no way he’d testify against him.”

“What about the son? Surely he could have something…”

It wasn’t long before Lawrence’s son and grandson walked into Rafael’s office. After Larry told Eric the truth about his grandfather, he agreed to testify against him.

Lawrence Hendricks was found guilty of rape and the stock of stores plummeted.  
______________________________________

“What’s this?” Rafael asked when his wife brought him his favorite lechon asado to him for dinner. 

“Just you’re favorite,” she shrugged.

“You are amazing, you know that?”

“No, you are.”

“I am pretty great,” he said as he flashed that crooked smile of his.

“You don’t have to tell me. You did great in court today.”

“Thank you, mi amor. You and Liv helped…a lot.”

“We just gave you the ammo, you fired the shot.”

“I suppose.”

“Sometimes you don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“Maybe I just like to hear it from you…Sergeant.”

“I haven’t gotten my shield yet.”

“You will soon. I’ll be right there just like I was the day you graduated from the academy.”

“But with 5 kids in tow,” Izzy laughed.

“They’ll be just as proud of you as I will be, cariño.”


	100. Chapter 100

Rafael had left the office early one day since Cami was studying for her PSATs and he didn’t want her being distracted with trying to watch her younger siblings. Of course, Matty was the only one that really needed the most supervision but Rafael also understood how important the PSATs were to Cami.

“Ella? You want to come help…what are you watching?”

“Nothing!”

He grabbed her laptop out of her hands and closed it quickly.

“Sorry, Dad.”

“Just…pick up a book,” he told her as he picked up her iPad and phone.

“Dad!”

“Just…okay?”

“Okay.”

Izzy had come home not long after that since they had closed their latest case without having to go to trial.

“Come here.”

“What’s the matter, Rafa?”

“Our daughter…I caught her watching…porn.”

“Okay, for starters, which one?”

“Ella!”

“No. No. Not…no.”

“You have to talk to her.”

“Me? Why me?”

“You’re her mother. I do it and I’m just gonna make it so much worse.”

“How bad was it, really?”

He opened the laptop to the video Ella had been watching.

“Oh, this is dirty.”

“Like, ‘German exchange student arrives in Tokyo, orders pizza, and can't  
pay for it’ dirty.”

“What?” She laughed.

“Y-You work late hours, and sometimes, I have to occupy my time,” he shrugged.

“Right.”

“Don’t judge me. Look you seriously need to talk to her.”

“You can help, Daddy.”

“Nope. I handle the boys, you take care of the girls.”

“This is something we need to handle together.”

“Ugh! After dinner?”

“Now.”

“Fine.”  
____________________________________  
They walked into Ella’s room to find her reading a book.

“Ella?”

“Hey, Mom.”

“So, we need to talk about what your Dad caught you watching.”

She turned around to find her husband no longer behind her. She could see the tip of his shoe outside of the door. “Rafa,” she groaned as he pulled him in the room.

He just crossed his arms as he leaned up against Ella’s desk.

“What made you look that up?”

“I overheard some girls at school talking about it, Mom.”

“Sex or porn?”

“Sex. I mean I know we’ve had the talk but one of them had read some magazine of their mom’s and were talking about…positions,” she answered her mother with a pained look. “I didn’t really understand it. So, I came home and googled it.”

“It’s fine to be curious but what you were watching is not appropriate for someone your age,” her mother told her.

“I know.”

“And what you saw, that’s not real. Those are actors. That is not the same as what two people in love…do,” Rafael told his youngest daughter, seemingly trying to get the “right” words out.

“Am I in trouble?”

“No, mija. Look, if you have questions about that kind of…stuff, come to us. Don’t go online.”

“Okay, Dad.”

“I think we handled that well,” he said as they walked down the hall.

“Once you could get the words out,” Izzy teased.

“Babe.”

“I’m kidding. You actually did handle it really well, I think. This is just another example of you not giving yourself enough credit.”

“But she’s my baby girl. I’d expect this from Junior. But Ella?”

“She’s at that age.”

“If she’s curious, you know who else is.”

“We’re gonna have to lockdown the internet.”

“What are you gonna do on the nights I’m working late?”

“I have videos on my phone,” he said with his eyebrow raised.

“I told you to get rid of those.”

“Did you really think I would? In fact, I think we need to make another.”

“Hush. Glad you have a lock code on that thing.”  
____________________________________  
“What’s she doing here?” Rollins asked noticing intern Allie walking up with Carisi one Saturday night in February 2017 after the whole ceremony where Izzy received her Sergeant’s shield.

“They’re dating from what Raf said,” Izzy told her before taking a drink of her beer. 

“Nick said she’s been overly friendly. I dare her to try something with him.”

“Calm down, Cynthia,” Liv chuckled. “I don’t think she’s brave enough.”

“Hey, you guys all know Allie.”

“Of course, we do,” Amanda replied as she rolled her eyes.

“This is Nick Amaro’s girlfriend, Cynthia.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize Detective Amaro was involved with anyone.”

“We have a 12 year old son. We’re a little more than involved.”

“So, what’s your poison, Allie,” Liv spoke up, quick to steer the conversation.

“Long Island Iced Tea would be great.”

Amanda and Izzy just sort of shared a look as they tried not to laugh. “You know I think I’m gonna go see what the guys are up to,” Izzy said as she got up.

“I’ll come with,” Amanda added. Liv and Cynthia shot them both a look, obviously not happy.

“Hey, baby,” Izzy smiled as she wrapped her arms around her husband from behind. “Having fun?”

“Yeah. Just waiting on Fin to beat Nick so I can beat Fin.”

“Not tonight, Barba. I’m feeling lucky.”

“Is that right, Fin? And just why are you feeling lucky?”

“Mind your business, Sergeant.”

A few weeks before, she had actually seen Fin and Melinda share a small kiss as she left the precinct. Izzy had promised not to say anything to anyone, not even Rafael.

“Where’s Melinda?”

“I don’t know, Shorty.”

“I just thought she’d be here. That’s all.”

“One more shot, Amaro.”

“Just get it over with, Fin.”

“Who’s got winner?” Carisi asked as he walked up.

“Barba.”

“I’m already out on that one. How did he get so good, Izz?”

“My grandfather taught me,” Rafael answered before his wife could. “He used to take me to this pool hall in the Bronx, mainly guys he worked with and he taught me how to play.”

“What about you, Izz?”

“I played at my uncles sports bar. There were a few tables in the game rooms at Harvard.”

“Remember the way we used to play our Sophomore of college,” Rafael asked with that smile.

“Do I ever.”

“What kind of game?”

“Seriously, Carisi? They obviously played for sex,” Amanda laughed.

“Something like that,” Izzy told them.

“If the tables were in a common area, then how would that even work?”

“I don’t have the time nor the patience to explain it to you, Fordham law.”

“Is it guys only or can anyone play?” Allie asked as she walked up, looping her arm through Sonny’s.

“Barba and Fin are up right now, doll. Maybe another table will empty soon enough.”

“Well, I have no problem watching the counselor and Fin.”

“I need another beer. Izz?”

“Uh, sure, Amanda. Rafa you need another?”

“I’m fine right now, mi amor, but thank you.”

“I could use another, mi amor,” Fin teased.

“Fuck off, Fin,” she laughed as she flipped him off.

“Can’t blame me for trying.”

“You know she’ll bring you back one, Fin. She takes better care of you than me most days.”

“Whatever, Barba, man. You know that girl loves you.”

“Yeah, she does, against her better judgement,” he laughed.

“Well, she doesn’t know any better,” Carisi laughed. “She’s only been with you.”

“You two have only been with each other?”

“Uh, yeah, Allie,” Rafael answered uncomfortably. “And yet, I still have more game than you do, Carisi.”

“BURN!!!” Fin and Nick laughed.  
____________________________  
“What did we miss?” Rollins asked as they came back with drinks, Liv and Cynthia joining them. Rafael was right, Izzy did bring Fin a beer even though she told him to fuck off.

“Boys being boys,” Allie answered.

“Last shot, Fin.”

“Just sink it, Barba, and let’s get this over with.”

“Good shot, counselor,” Allie told him as he went to put the pool cue away after beating Fin.

“Uh, thanks.”

“Maybe you could teach me to play sometime.”

“Carisi could probably handle it.”

“He doesn’t quite have the…talent you have.”

“Right well, I’m gonna get back to my wife,” he told her as he side stepped away from her.

“I still can’t believe you’ve only been with her.”

“And vice-versa.”

“Someone has handsome and smart as you…”

“Allie even though we are not in the office this is a highly inappropriate conversation. Besides that, you’re here on a date with my friend. Now, again, if you’ll excuse me.”


	101. Chapter 101

“You know, I’m really starting to think that your sister’s intuition about Allie may not be totally misguided,” Rafael told Tony as they ate their normal weekly steak dinner not far from the courthouse.

“What do you mean, Rafi?”

“So, we went out Saturday night. She’s supposed to be dating Carisi but that night, she was asking me to teach her to play pool, telling me I’m handsome…”

“Was she drunk?”

“Come on, Tony.”

“I’m kidding, Barba,” he laughed. “What did you do?”

“I told her she was being inappropriate. Then, all this week, she’s been…touching me.”

“Where?”

“Like on my arm. I don’t mean just a slight graze, I’m talking squeezing my arm, you know like your sister does when she’s ‘flirting’.”

“That cracks me up you guys still flirt after all these years.”

“It’s not like I can just shove my tongue down her throat in front of the squad.”

“I get it. Is there anything you can do?”

“I-I don’t know. McCoy hired her as a favor to her father because I guess they went to law school together.”

“So? I’d still tell Jack that she’s making you uncomfortable. You’re married…”

“Happily at that.”

“Right and you have 5 children. My sister would cut your nuts off.”

“Tony I have never once thought about touching anybody but your sister since I was 19. Remember when we broke up in 97? You tried to get me to go out with that girl from our Products Liability class?”

“Yeah and all you wanted to do was go home, lay in bed, and cry over my sister, even though it had been a month at that point.”

“So, if I didn’t want someone else then, why would I now?”

“I know. Dude I would say something to McCoy before this girl tries to boil your bunny.”

“You’re right. So, what’s going on with Erin?”

“Just one day at a time. I’m glad her and my sister are at least talking again.”

“Yeah, well, your sister can hold a grudge.”

“You don’t have to tell me. She still won’t let me borrow stuff from her after I broke her favorite Duran Duran album when we were 10. But, I will say, Erin was in the wrong and I told her she was gonna have to be the one to talk to Izzy first.”  
_____________________________________________  
“What did McCoy say?”

“He said he’d talk to her, Liv. I mean what else can he do?”

“Hopefully she’ll get the message. Have you anything said to Izzy?”

“No and please don’t. I don’t want her worrying about it anymore. She’s seemed to let it go and I want it to stay that way.”

“I won’t say anything, Rafa.”

“So, how are things going since you and Tucker split?”

“Uh, good. Noah misses him of course but I’m just not ready to retire.”

“You were considering it.”

“Yeah but when I do it, it’s going to be for me or Noah but no one else. I know he wasn’t trying to control me or anything but I’m ready for the next chapter. If that just includes me and Noah, then so be it,” she shrugged.

“Well, you know better than that. It won’t just be you and Noah.”

“Yeah, I know,” she kind of chuckled.  
______________________________________  
“And you’re sure I can stay out…”

“Your dad said 11 so take it, Cami,” Izzy laughed.

“I just wanted to make sure. You know how he likes to change his mind at the last minute.”

“He’s fine with it.”

“Are you guys gonna be alone?”

“Uh, Ella is staying the night at Janie’s, RJ will be at Gil’s, Matty is going to Brooklyn but Rory will be home.”

“Of course, she is.”

“Camila.”

“Just kidding.”

“Have fun, be careful, behave…”

“I know, Mom. It’s dinner, bowling, and maybe a movie.”

“You know what your Dad’s idea of hell is, don’t you?”

“What?”

“Rented shoes.”

“Oh my god,” Cami laughed as she shook her head. “Is that code for he sucks?”

“He’s actually not that bad but when we would go bowling in college, he’d take an extra pair of socks so he could throw away the ones he wore while bowling away.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope. Ask your Uncle Tony.”

“Okay, well, Amy just text and said she’s a block away.”

“You know the rule. When somebody…” the doorbell rang, interrupting Izzy.

“See?”

“Okay. 11 sharp.”

“I know, Mom. I’ll see you then.”

Rafael had came in just as Cami met Amy on the stoop.

“It’s a little rude to leave Amy standing out here, Camila.”

“I was on my way, Dad.”

“Why are you still friends with her, Amy?”

“She’s not so bad, Mr. Barba.”

“11, Camila.”

“I know, Dad. I’ll be here.”

“So, what have you done today,” he asked Izzy as he sat his briefcase on the table by the door and threw his keys in the bowl.

“Besides going to lunch with you? Not much. Enjoying my phone not ringing.”

“So, Rory is the only kid home tonight?”

“Yeah. She was gonna rent a movie on Amazon I think. She said she didn’t feel like doing anything.”

“What do you want to do for dinner then, babe?”

“Want to order Sushi tonight?”

“That sounds good,” he smiled as he rolled up his sleeves and took off his tie. “I’m really gonna have to go shopping.”

“Why?”

“Look at me. The buttons on my shirt are clinging on for dear life.”

“They are not, Rafa.”

“Still, I’ve gained at least 20lbs this year.”

“I think you look good, no, I think you look sexy.”

“Flattery will get you…everywhere, Mrs. Barba.”

“It’s not just flattery. It’s the truth.”  
___________________________________  
“Hey, cariño?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“Since you’re up could you hand me the Christensen file out of my briefcase?”

“Just because I love you,” she smiled as she handed him the drink she had gotten up to fix him after they had eaten the sushi she had ordered in. She walked over to the table and started to grab the file. She was shocked when the file wasn’t the only thing that came out.


	102. Chapter 102

“What the fuck are these?!” She asked as she threw the black lace thong at him.

“I have no idea!”

“No? What the fuck were they doing in your briefcase?”

“Keep your voice down.”

“These belong to that little slut, don’t they?”

“I don’t know! Maybe one of the guys are playing a prank on me!”

“I seriously fucking doubt any of them would do that. You…she’s dating your friend.”

“I’ve never touched her. I swear.”

“Get out.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Get out. You told me I was insecure, I was jealous, made me feel like I was crazy and I was right all along.”

“No, you weren’t. I don’t understand why you won’t believe me.”

“The evidence is sitting in the floor! Hard evidence I might add.”

“Cariño please stop and think about this.”

“I said get out and that’s what I meant. I can’t even look at you right now.”

“Don’t do this. You know I love you.”

“Don’t touch me. Pack a bag and get out.”

“I can’t believe you won’t listen to me.”

She just turned and walked off as he went to their bedroom. Izzy peaked in to check on Rory who was asleep with her earbuds in, which happened 3-4 times a week at least so apparently she didn’t hear the commotion that went on downstairs.

She hid herself in the kitchen until she heard the front door shut, signaling Rafael had left. She finally broke down in tears.  
______________________________________  
“Rafa I’m so sorry. How could you…”

“I didn’t, Liv,” he said as his fist hit the bar at Forlini’s causing Liv to jump a little.

“Okay, okay. Let’s take a step back. You’re sure one of the guys weren’t just…”

“I already called Fin, Nick, Mike, and Carisi. They all denied it. I know we’ve played pranks on each other but they wouldn’t do something like that.”

“Okay. So, how would her underwear have ended up in your briefcase? You carry it with you everywhere you go.”

“I know. Wait.”

“What?”

“Izzy came to the office to take me to lunch today. I didn’t take it.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah cause I needed something out of it but then realized I didn’t pick it up when we left.”

“You didn’t notice them when you came back?”

“I didn’t get back in my briefcase. I mean I did but I was just putting some files in it, not really paying attention before I left for home.”

“So, it’s possible she went in your office while you were at lunch and put them in there.”

“I need to talk to Carisi again.”  
______________________________________  
“Carisi listen to me. I don’t know what Allie is trying to pull but I’m afraid…she’s only dating you to get to me.”

“Psshh, come on, Barba.”

“Carisi this is serious. Izzy found a pair of panties in his briefcase. They have to be hers.”

“She wouldn’t do that.”

“My wife kicked me out because she thinks I slept with your girlfriend.”

“What did they look like,” Carisi finally asked after a moment of silence.

Rafael explained to Carisi what the panties looked like and he immediately knew Rafael was right about who they belonged to. He had bought them for her after all.

“I’m so sorry, Barba. I’ll fix this.”

“She’ll think I put you up to it, Carisi.”

“We need to go to McCoy.”

“Carisi’s right,” Liv added. “Maybe this will be enough to fire her.”

“It’s worth a shot, I guess.”

“Are you in the shape to go over there, Barba?”

“I’m fine, Carisi.”

She tried to play it off as a joke but McCoy told her it was unprofessional to say the least and told Allie to clean out her desk first thing Monday morning.  
_______________________________________  
Carisi went back with Barba to his house to talk to Izzy.

“You can come in, Carisi. He can’t.”

“Come on, Sarge. Barba never touched her. I bought those panties for Allie,” he told her as he described them in detail, down to where they came from.

“See? He was telling you the truth.”

“Like I always have.”

“What about you, Carisi?”

“I’m going to take these and make sure they are returned to the rightful owner,” he said as he picked the panties up.

After he left, Rafael and Izzy just stood in silence.

“You could believe Carisi but not me?”

“What was I supposed to think, Rafa?”

“I know but I’m your husband. You’re supposed to trust me.”

“I found a pair of panties that weren’t mine in your briefcase…”

“I know.”

“How would you feel if I had a young guy constantly flirting with me, following me around.”

“I’d hate it,” he admitted. “McCoy fired her by the way.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I went to him, with Liv and Carisi. She’s supposed to clean out her desk first thing Monday morning.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Can we just start moving past this, please?”

“I should’ve listened to you.”

“Look, if I found a pair of guys boxers in your purse, I’d probably react the same way.”

“Okay. I’m sorry…”

“I know. Look, let’s just go to bed. I’m half drunk, I’m exhausted. I just want this day to end.”  
_______________________________________  
“So, I guess she didn’t take being dumped and fired in the same weekend too well, huh, Carisi,” Rollins asked when he came in with a black eye.

“No, she did not. She tried to tell me that Barba had been hitting on her and asked for them.”

“Well, we all know that’s a lie,” Nick said as he sat at his desk. 

“Do we?”

“Seriously, Rollins?”

“I mean come on, Nick. Men cheat. Even the ones that claim they are deliriously happy with their wives.”

“You honestly think Barba would do that to Izzy?”

“Do what,” Liv asked as she walked up.

“Allie told Carisi that Barba asked for her panties,” Nick told her. 

“Well, we know that’s a lie. She told McCoy it was a joke. She told two different lies.”

“Rollins seems to think he’s capable of actually cheating on Izzy.”

“I didn’t explicitly say that, Nick.”

“No? Then what did you say?”

“I just said are we sure…”

“Look I think we just don’t need to discuss it anymore especially since Izzy and Fin are on their way up.”

“Copy that, Lieu.”  
______________________________________  
“Stella has gotten jealous a few times over the years,” Anthony laughed as he and Rafael sat in Tony’s old room that he had turned into a man cave.

“Well, I mean, Izzy had a right to be honestly but it really hurt when she thought I was capable of something like that.”

“Women don’t always think rationally son and considering what she found in your briefcase…”

“I get it but for her not to believe me after everything we’ve been through…”

“I know. Stella one time thought I had something going on with the wife of the owner of the butcher shop we always went to because she had given me free steaks on occasions, like for the twins birthdays, even for Stella’s birthday.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. I ended up having to use one of those free steaks on my eye.”

“Damn.”

“Be glad your wife didn’t hit you.”

“I thought she was going to.”  
________________________________________  
After dinner, they got Matty, RJ, and Ella and headed back to Manhattan. Cami and Rory were babysitting Jesse for Amanda.

“Girls we’re back!”

“Hey, Dad.”

“Amanda come get Jesse?”

“About an hour ago. Oh, and Dad, a girl from your office stopped by.”

“Carmen?”

“No. Allison?” Cami answered.

“I don’t know an Allison. What did she want?”

“She said she was getting a file Carmen told her she could out of your office.”

“There’s not an Allison…fuck,” he said as he sprinted upstairs with his wife hot on his heels.

His office had been practically destroyed, any pictures of Izzy had been cut.

“Aurora how long was she in the house?”

“Maybe 15-20 minutes. Said she found what she need and left. Is everything okay?”

“Call Mike and have him get CSU in here,” Rafael told his wife. “Kids pack your bags.”

“What? Why?”

“You’re going to Brooklyn, Cami.”

“For how long?”

“I don’t know. Just go pack a bag, get your school stuff and help Matty do the same, please.”

“She was in our house, Rafa.”

“We’re gonna get this taken care of, I promise,” he told his wife as he held her among the mess in his office.


	103. Chapter 103

“She’s moved out of her apartment, not staying at her parents, where the hell could she be?”

“Fin and Rollins are talking to her parents, asking about friends she could be with,” Liv told Izzy as they sat in her office. “How are the kids?”

“Fine. My Dad took the week off to make sure they get to school and everything. I still can’t believe she just came into my house to ransack my husband’s office and cut up my pictures. Nothing was taken and she was so quiet the girls didn’t hear anything.”

“I still want a security detail on the two of you until we find her.”

“We’re upgrading the security system at home. We’ll be fine.”

“This is non-negotiable and I told your husband the same thing.”

“Fine, Liv. That means we’re gonna have a shadow at the that fundraiser at Gracie Mansion?”

“Yes, but luckily, the Chief was able to get Mike, Fin, and Nick invitations as well so you will be covered.”

“Thanks, Liv.”

“You think I’m going to let two of my best friends be in any danger?”

“No.”

“Exactly.”

“Hey, Lieu?”

“What’s up, Fin?”

“Okay so her roommate from NYU got her a room using her credit card cause Allie gave her this sob story that all of her credit cards were stolen, her parents cut her off, you know all that shit.”

“Great, what hotel?”

“The Park Milano. Only thing is, she’s not stayed in the room one night.”

“Jesus,” Liv groaned as she let her head fall back on her chair. “How many night was she supposed to be there?”

“It was booked for 5. This is day number 3.”

“Somebody else has to be helping her.”

“There’s something else,” he said as he handed a scrapbook of sorts to Liv.

“Oh my god. Some of these articles date back to when he was in Brooklyn.”

“Yeah, she’s just a little obsessed.”

“A little? Is there anything to show she’s followed us…”

“Nope. It’s all about his cases. Pictures of him from the papers, except the last page. It’s a picture she must’ve taken with her phone and printed out.”

He was just sitting at his desk, with his feet propped up as he read a file.

“This is getting creepier by the minute.”

“No kidding, Fin. I’m upping the security detail.”  
__________________________________________  
“We don’t have to go to this thing if you don’t want to,” Rafael told his wife as they got ready for the fundraiser at the Mayor’s mansion.

“No, we need a night out.”

“They’re gonna find her, mi amor.”

“I know.”

“That must be Mike and Alice,” he said as he heard the doorbell ring. He pulled up the app on his phone to confirm before going to let them in.

“Izzy I love your dress,” Alice said when she came out of the bedroom in a light green strapless gown.

“Thanks.”

“You okay?”

“I told her we didn’t have to go to this.”

“You don’t have to be prisoners in your home either,” Mike told his step brother. “Shall we?”

“Sure,” Izzy replied with a small smile as they walked out but not before making sure the alarm was set and cameras were on.  
_____________________________________________  
“I don’t think I’ve ever been so bored in my life,” Liv laughed before taking a drink of her wine.

“This is why I don’t like coming to these things but Jack told Rafael he didn’t have a choice in so many words.”

“Well, at least you guys are safe.”

“True, Liv. I think I’m gonna go to the restroom.”

“You want me to come with?”

“I won’t be long, Liv.”

Izzy walked to the bathroom and locked the door. She was having a little bit of anxiety about being out in public. Sure there were unmarked cars watching her house and her kids were safe at her parents but she still had a strange feeling.

“Thought I’d see you here.”

“Allie…how did you get in here?”

“I basically slipped in unnoticed. Your bodyguards weren’t paying very good attention.”

“You won’t leave here without cuffs.”

“That’s what you think,” she said as lunged throwing Izzy into the wall, hitting her head on the tile wall.

It took a little bit out of her, but she got to her feet. “You’re stupid…”

“Am I? I know it but be hard to accept when someone falls out of love with you.”

That was all Izzy needed to retaliate.

“Where’s my wife?”

“Uh, she was going to the restroom but she has been gone for a while,” Liv told Rafael when he got back to their table. “I’ll go check on her.”

Izzy had thrown Allie into one of the mirrors, shattering it but she still got back up. Liv tried to come in the bathroom. “Izz?”

She couldn’t hear anything but what sounded like something crashing to the floor. 

She ran back to the table and told Rafael they needed to find a way into that bathroom. Security came just as Izzy opened the door. She was holding up her dress while Allie laid in the floor. Rafael immediately took of his coat and wrapped it around his wife. Her lip was busted, there were scratches on her face, shoulders, and back.

“We need to get you to the hospital.”

“I’ll ride with her, Liv.”

“Of course, Rafa. I’ll go to your house and get her some new clothes.”

“Thank you. It’s over,” he whispered as he kissed his wife’s forehead.

Mike and Nick picked Allie up off the floor and walked her to the second ambulance but not before cuffing her to both rails.

“Well, Izzy you were lucky,” the doctor told her after the X-Rays all came back negative. Her wounds her superficial, with the exception of needing stitches in her left shoulder from where she had fallen on a shard of glass during the struggle.

Mike had told her she had cracked three of Allie’s ribs and dislocated her shoulder. She would be held in the psych ward to start with.  
__________________________________  
“You doing okay?”

“Just a little spaced out from the pain meds, Erin,” Izzy kind of chuckled.

“I brought your favorite Chinese.”

“Thanks. These bastards make me hungry.”

“I’ll grab some plates,” Erin said as she walked into the kitchen with the food.

“Thanks, Erin.”

“Heard she was found mentally competent to stand trial.”

“Yeah but McCoy’s talked her parents to try to talk her into taking a plea.”

“Hopefully she will and spare you the stress of a trial. Soy sauce?”

“You know it.”

“Where’s Rafael?”

“He went to get me something to eat actually,” she laughed. “Oh well, at least I’ll have dinner.”

“So, other than the pain, you doing okay?”

“I am, actually. I was a little worried but I’ve been sleeping fine. I think knowing it’s over is what’s keeping me ‘sane’ so to speak.”

They continued to talk and eat the Kung Poa Chicken Erin had brought over.

“I’m home. Oh, uh, hey, Erin.”

“Hey, Barba. I just thought I’d bring your wife some Chinese.”

“Oh, well, I brought her Greek so I guess she can have that for dinner,” he laughed.

“Sorry, Rafa.”

“It’s okay. You doing okay?”

“Yeah. Just a little sore again.”

“Let me check your stitches really quick,” he said as he sat behind her on the couch and slowly peeled back the bandage.

“Well?”

“Looks good. Well, I’m gonna go eat the food I brought…”

“I’ve got some Orange chicken in there, Barba, if you want to save what you went and got.”

“Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks, Erin.”

Erin stayed for about an hour after they ate.

“You feel like taking a nap?”

“Actually I do, Rafa,” she smiled.

“Come on,” he said as he took her hand and led them to their room. “Hey, I want to ask you something?”

“What’s that?”

“Are you doing okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“Just with everything…I mean…”

“I’m fine, Raf. It’s over.”

“Unless she goes to trial and you know that’s possible.”

“Can we just not talk about it right now?”

“Sorry.”

“No, I understand you’re worried but right now I just want put this behind us while we can.”

“Okay.”


	104. Chapter 104

“Fin and I tossed Trey Franklin’s room. Look what we found.”

“Is that Dr. Keller in bed with him?”

“Yep,” Izzy answered her husband as they stood in his office, sans Liv who was out with a sick Noah.

“You sure you can handle this?”

“I’m fine, Rafa.”

 

“Go talk to the good doctor, get her side.”  
_____________________________  
“I had a sense Trey was stalking me, but now I know,” Nicole said as Izzy and Amanda showed her the pictures.

“You had a sense Trey was stalking you? Well, that's very different from having a bad feeling,” Izzy scoffed.

“I wasn't sure, but I am now.”

“That's you in the photo, correct?”

“Yes! Eyes closed. Asleep. Unaware this adult teenager was taking pictures.”

“You mind if we take a look around?”

“Of course not,” she told Amanda.

“So, just to be clear, you're saying that Trey walked up these stairs, he hopped onto your bed while you were sleeping, and he took these photos.”

“Well, that's the only thing that makes sense.”

“Not hardly,” Amanda told her, “there a plenty of other explanations.”

“Are you suggesting I had sex with that boy?”

“Oh, I'm not suggesting anything. I'm simply asking why you and Trey were in bed together, naked,” Izzy told her.

“Because he was obsessed with me and snuck into my bed.”

“And you didn't wake up? You must be a sound sleeper. I wake up if my husband sneezes,” Izzy told her.

“You know what, Sergeant? I’m sensing some underlying hostility here, it’s making me very uncomfortable, and I’d like you and the detective to leave.”

“Yeah, well these naked selfies of you and a teenage boy, as the mother of two sons myself, is making me very uncomfortable. Let’s go, Amanda.”  
__________________________________________  
“This woman is sick,” Izzy said as she and Rafael ate their dinner late one night.

“Has the DNA came back on her nightgown yet?”

“No. I called Melinda earlier, she was still waiting. Her ex-husband says she’s very manipulating. Every time I’ve talked to her, she keeps assuming I’m idiot, using all these psychological terms.”

“She doesn’t know you have a degree in Psychology from Harvard?”

“Nah. Not her business. Just let her keep thinking I’m a dumb cop. She’s the one lying, not her son. She’s throwing him under the bus.”

“What does Liv say?”

“She told me to keep going with it.”  
___________________________  
A few days later, Carisi, Amanda, Izzy, and Nick were sitting in Rafael’s office, discussing what they knew at that point when Izzy got a text.

“What is it?”

“That was Melinda. Lab results are back. Traces of fresh semen were found on a towel in Nicole's bedroom upstairs. DNA matches Trey's.”

“She said Trey was upstairs that night?”

“We asked her point blank, and she denied it,” Amanda answered.

“Arrest her.”

“Statutory rape?” Izzy asked her husband.

“Oh, I'm thinking a lot more than that,” he replied with that look she knew too well.  
___________________________________  
The first day of the trial, reporters were all over the courthouse steps. Rafael made one statement and one statement only before meeting his wife at the top of the stairs.  
“Our only goal was to follow the evidence and bring the person responsible for Trey Franklin's death to justice, and that person is Nicole Keller. To cry rape while she herself was sexually assaulting a teenage boy with her son ten feet away, holding a rifle, shows such depraved indifference to Trey Franklin's life that the DA’s office feels compelled to punish this woman to the fullest extent of the law. Thank you.”

He was angry. This was not going to be pretty. Izzy felt terrible for Luke when he testified, even worse when Buchanan cross examined him. The poor boy was in tears as he admitted to shooting Trey.

Of course, when his mother took the stand, she got a taste of the DA’s snark right off the bat.

“Trey showed up at your house at 9:00 at night. Your son wasn't home, but you let him in anyway?”

“I felt empathy for his turbulent home life.”

“You kept telling the police about his turbulent home life, even though his parents are happily married and he's a straight-A student?”

“Grades are not indicative of psychological or emotional problems.”

“We're not interested in your psycho-babble for the moment, but thank you so much for sharing,” he said as he continued.

In the middle of trial, Nicole decided she wanted to change her testimony, saying that Luke knew about her relationship with Trey and that’s why he shot his friend. She even went to far as to say that Luke had a sexual attraction toward her himself.

Instead of cross-examining Nicole again, Rafael recalled Luke to the stand. He told the truth again, this time he was a lot stronger. It didn’t take the jury long to find her guilty of murder and rape of a minor. “I hope you’re happy, Sergeant. You’ve made my son think I’m the devil.”

“No, Nicole you did that yourself,” Izzy told her as the court officers got her out of the courtroom.

She looked around the empty courtroom as she waited on her husband to pack up his things. “Hey, you okay? He’s a strong kid, he’ll be okay.”

“You really believe that?”

“You want to go get a drink?” He asked as he sort of tilted his head.

“I just want to get home to the kids,” she said with tears in her eyes.

“Come on,” he said as he took her hand while they walked out.  
_______________________________________  
“You need to talk,” Liv said as she walked up to Rafael sitting at the Forlini’s after he had recused himself from the David Willard case.

“About?”

“About what you did. How Willard got to you. Ashtonja Abreu.”

“You talked to her?”

“Yeah, and Willard talked to her too. He seems to think that you're paying her for sex.”

“I know. He told me. Of course, Willard got it wrong,” Rafael said as he started to tell Liv the story of Marianna Abreu.

“I have to ask you this and I need you to be 100% completely honest with me,” Liv said after he finished.

“What?”

“Does or has Izzy ever had any knowledge of this?”

“Not until last year when Heredio was threatening me. That was when I first told her.”

“Okay,” Liv sighed, “I can probably keep her out of trouble but I’ll have to take her off the case. What’s going to happen with you?”

“I told Jack everything. Who knows, we might’ve seen our last case together.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“What you and your squad always do. Go after the son of a bitch.”  
______________________________________  
After his meeting with McCoy, where he received a month’s suspension without pay, Rafael was called to 1PP.

“Ah, Rafael come in and have a seat,” Dodds told him as the commissioner stood behind his desk.

“What can I do for you, Chief? Commissioner?”

“You know word spreads like Herpes between the DA’s office and 1PP.”

“So, you already know about my suspension and the cause.”

“We do. What I need to know right now is how much did Sergeant Barba know,” the commissioner spoke.

“She knew nothing until a year ago. It wasn’t something I felt she needed to be put in the middle of if it ever came up. I did not want her to look complicit in what I was doing. I was trying to protect her and our kids.”

“You never realized you could’ve put both of your careers in danger with this. It doesn’t matter if she knew or not, the money was taken out of your joint bank account. It makes her look equally guilty," Dodds added.

“So, you’re going to suspend her, too? Take her shield that she has worked her ass for the NYPD to receive?”

“Let’s stay calm, Mr. Barba. We just wanted to talk to you before we make any decisions.”

“My wife has had her arm broken, she’s been shot, she’s been…”

“We are aware of everything she has done and everything that has happened to her in her 19 years on the force. We have to tread carefully with this Willard character after he’s already hacked into our mainframe as it is, and that’s why we wanted to talk to you about what she knew.”

“And I’ve told you, Commissioner. Are we done here?”

“Yes, counselor,” Dodds told him.  
________________________________________  
“So, what did Dodds have to say?” Amanda asked Izzy when she got back from 1PP.

“I just have to stay away from anything to do with the Willard case.”

“So, Barba took the fall for both of you?”

“There was nothing for me to take the fall for.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then how did you mean it?”

“Okay, ladies! Izzy why don’t you take the next or two and just be with your husband?”

“I’m fine, Liv. Seriously.”

“I think you need a mental health day or two. Seriously.”

“You now what? Maybe I do,” she said as she got up from her desk.

“Did you have to push, Rollins?”

“I didn’t mean it the way it came out, Nick.”

“Just like you didn’t mean it the way it came out that Barba was capable of cheating on his wife…”

“Guys, enough! Please! We are all under a lot of pressure,” Liv groaned. 

“Sorry, Liv,” Nick told her.

“Yeah, me, too. You’re right. This is hard enough as it without us arguing,” Amanda agreed.

“We’ve got to go back to Jennifer’s apartment. The sister said ‘she had it covered’ if Willard tried to fire her if she broke up with him. There's got to be something we missed.”  
_________________________________________  
“I’ve got the rest of the laundry done and Matty is packed for vacation.”

“My full-blown Renaissance man,” Izzy smiled as she looked up from packing her suitcase.

“I do what I can. So, uh, I was going through the laundry…”

“Yeah?”

“Found these new thongs. You know what I'm gonna do with these? Later on tonight, I'm tearing these off with my teeth…”

“Honey, those are your daughter's.”

“Ew no!! Cami is supposed to be wearing something that covers everything, not some dirty stripper underwear.” 

“You thought they were mine.” 

“What, am I giving her allowance in singles?” He said while making “the making it rain” gesture with his hands. “Go tell her she can't wear these. Tell her they'll make her sterile.” 

“Honey, you're being ridiculous. Cami’s becoming a woman. This isn't the time to tighten your grip; it's the time to loosen it.” 

“This? This means we tighten the grip. This isn't built for comfort; it's built for speed. We need to slow it the fuck down. The other two will be next.”

“And there’s nothing we can do about that. You now, I used to wear things like that. It was okay for my dad’s daughter to wear those but not your daughters? I know you could tell what I was wearing when I’d wear those thin pajama bottoms.”

“Yeah but I was wanting to get in your pants. I know what boys are thinking.”

“You were 19.”

“Not much difference in 16 and 19.”

“Will you just calm down? We are about to spend a week in the Hamptons with our friends. Get away from all the noise of the city.”

“All I’m gonna say is her bathing suit better cover more than this…thing.”

“What about mine?”

“Oh, I like showing you off,” he said with that smirk.

“You need to finish packing, Raf. 5 am comes early.”


	105. Chapter 105

“Okay so Gil, RJ, and Matty are sharing a room, the girls have the room with the bunk beds, Liv and Noah have one, Amanda and Jesse, Carisi has his own room, Fin and Melinda, us, Nick and Cynthia, Tony and Erin,” Izzy said as she looked over the floor plan of the house they had rented for the week while Rafael drove. “And Mike was sure he and Alice couldn’t make it?”

“He said if they can, it’ll be the middle of the week. How’d we get this house for cheap?”

“Someone Melinda works with or went to medical school with. I don’t really remember what Fin said. We just had to provide our food, booze, and make sure everything’s cleaned up before we leave.”

“This place has a pool right?”

“Yes, Camilia,” her father answered. “The beach isn’t far either. I want you out of the house, not cooped up talking to Kevin on your phone either.”

“You might want to tell Rory the same about talking to Will.”

“Who’s Will?”

“Shut up, Cami!”

“Rory’s got a boyfriend she didn’t tell you about, Dad.”

“I said, shut up!”

“Who’s Will, Aurora?”

“Will McCrary. We’ve only been going to school together since 6th grade.”

“And he’s your boyfriend now?”

“Sort of,” she shrugged.

“Rafa…”

“I think I have a right to know that my soon to be 15-year-old daughter has a boyfriend,” he whispered.  
“Just leave it,” Izzy laughed.

“When we get home, I expect Will to be coming to dinner one night,” he told Rory.

“Fine, Dad. Can I go back to my book now?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks a lot, Cami.”

“They were gonna find out sometime.”  
__________________________________________  
“All I’m saying is when did it become appropriate for an almost 17-year-old to wear thongs?”

“Come on, Barba,” Nick laughed.

“No, I’m serious. When I found that in the laundry basket the other day…”

“I, unfortunately, know my sister used to wear stuff like that,” Tony laughed. 

“Tony come on. If you ever have a daughter…”

“Dad flipped out when Ma took Izz shopping at Victoria’s Secret our Senior year. I remember that all too well.”

“Then you see my point.”

“Barba, Cami is growing up. You gotta face facts, man,” Fin laughed as he turned the steaks on the grill.

“Maybe but jeez. When did I end up with a Junior in high school? Next thing it’ll be prom and some revealing dress.”

“You don’t mind my sister wearing revealing dresses.”

“Okay, maybe, I have a double standard when it comes to my daughters and wife but can you blame me?”

“Oh, I’d flip out if I saw something like that in Zara’s laundry,” Nick added.

“Thank you, Nick. What’s so funny, Carisi?”

“Nothing,” he said as he composed himself.

“Yeah, we’ll remember that when you have a daughter.”

“Or when he becomes Jesse’s father legally,” Barba popped off.

“We’re just friends. I’m just…fun ‘Uncle Sonny’.”

“Whatever you say,” Fin laughed as he took a drink of his beer.  
___________________________________  
“Oh my god, could you guys be any more gross?” Cami scoffed as she grabbed a chaise by the pool to find her parents wrapped in each other’s arms and just as Rafael had kissed his wife.

“Leave your parents alone,” Liv laughed as she and Noah played in the shallow end.

“They always have to be all over each other, Aunt Liv.”

“We do not,” Rafael said as he playfully scolded his daughter.

“No wonder you guys have 5 kids.”

“Camila.”

“I’m only kidding, Dad,” she said as she started in on her phone.

“Camila Luciana spend some time with your brothers and sisters.”

“I will, Dad. I’m just getting some sun.”

“Your skin is dark enough.”

“Barely,” she scoffed. 

“You’re half Cuban, half Italian. You’re not going to look like J.Lo.”

“Rafa leave her alone.”

“Fine, Izz,” he said as he rolled his eyes.  
_____________________________________  
“Uh, hey, RJ?”

“What’s up, Gil?”

“You know you’re my best friend, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you be really mad…I mean would you be offended if I asked Ella to take a walk on the beach?”

“Uh, no. I guess not.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah? Why would you ask?”

“Well, that’s what you do when you like your best friend’s sister.”

“You like Ella?”

“Sort of,” Gil shrugged.

“Come on, dude, that’s crossing so many boundaries.”

“Your dad was your uncle’s roommate…”

“That was different. They were in college.”

“How’s it different?”

“Because we’re only 12 and you’re 13. You think that this will last forever?”

“RJ come on. I just want to walk with her on the beach. If it’s going to be a problem…”

“What’s going to be a problem?” Rafael asked as he walked into the house during their conversation.

“Gil wants to go for a walk on the beach with Ella?”

“And?”

“What do you mean, ‘and’, Dad?”

“He asked your permission it seems, right?”

“Yeah,” RJ replied as he rolled his eyes.

“Okay. I asked your Uncle Tony before I asked out your mom so…”

“I get it. Fine, whatever,” RJ told Gil.

“You have my permission, Gil. How about that?”

“Thanks, Uncle Rafa.”

“Sure,” he smiled as Gil walked out of the house. 

“Seriously, Dad?”

“What, Junior?”

“I don’t want him getting Ella’s hopes up and…”

“You can’t dictate your sisters life. Twin or not.”

“I know.”

“You’ve got to let your sister make her own decisions when it comes to boys.”

“Yeah, I get it.”

“What are you two talking about?” Tony asked as he came back in the house.

“Ah! Talk to your Uncle Tony about this.”

“About what?”

“How you felt about me getting with your twin sister.”

“I was apprehensive at first but I knew your dad wouldn’t treat her bad. What’s going on?”

“Gil asked Junior if he could take Ella for a walk on the beach.”

“Is that all?” Tony chuckled.

“Yeah. I don’t want Ella…”

“Getting hurt, I get it. It doesn’t matter what age you guys are, Ella has to make her own decisions. Dawson was my friend before he got with your mother.”

“Uncle Antonio and Mom dated?!”

“Yeah, they did,” Rafael told his son. 

“And you can be okay with them working together?”

“Your mother is married to me. Of course, I’m okay with it. They grew up.”

“But, Dawson still came and asked my permission,” Tony told his nephew. “Just like your dad did. Be thankful that Gil thought that much of you to do that.”

“I guess you guys are right,” he shrugged.

“Maybe they won’t be together forever but that’s okay, too,” Rafael told his son. “It’s fine that you want to stick up for your sister but let her make her choices, too. Like your Uncle Tony did.”

“Your dad’s right. I knew that I had to let my sister make her own decisions. Now, if your dad had hurt her, I would’ve beat his ass.”

“Please, I was more scared of her than I have ever been of you,” Rafael chuckled.  
_______________________________________  
“I still can’t believe that you guys have only been with each other,” Liv laughed as the ladies sat around the pool after dinner one night, sipping on the blackberry sangria Melinda had made.

“Believe it, Benson. It was 6 months before they ever did that,” Erin added.

“No way,” Cynthia chuckled.

“It was. We waited 6 months. It wasn’t like we set a time or anything. We were making out in my childhood bedroom one day and he decides to tell me that he’s ready to take that next step.”

“Did you feel pressured?”

“Not at all, Rollins. I had actually been thinking about it myself. It was a few weeks after that when I told him I was ready.”

“And it was awful.”

“Hush, Erin,” Izzy laughed.

“Oh, we’ve heard the story,” Liv replied, echoing Erin’s laugh.

“But it got better over time.”

“Do you regret it?”

“What do you mean, Rollins?”

“That you didn’t get more experience?”

“I have plenty experience,” Izzy told her. “It’s just with one man. I don’t’ regret it at all.”

“I can respect that,” Amanda chuckled.

“Don’t let her fool you, Rollins. They aren’t exactly prudes.”

“Erin!”

“What? You’ve told me everything that you guys have done,” she laughed.

“You don’t need any more sangria,” Izzy laughed as she took Erin’s glass from her.

“Oh, come on, Izz. You’re among friends,” Cynthia added.

“We’ve experimented over the years. So what?”

“Alright, Sergeant,” Liv laughed. “We know there’s more to it than that.”

“He’s 50-shaded me a few times.”

“Meaning?” Liv asked.

“Nothing exactly like the books but we’ve…had our fun. Still do.”

“I can’t I’m surprised,” Amanda said. “Given the way he acts when it comes to work, he’s gotta let loose somewhere.”  
____________________________________  
“Oh my god,” Melinda laughed as they all decided to spend the day at the beach.

“What?”

“You, Nick, and Barba all have your nipples pierced?” She started laughing when she saw Carisi's nipple.

The three of them looked at each other.

“How the fuck did that happen?” Fin chuckled.

Carisi explained the night they had been drinking.

“Enough said. So glad I’m left. I will never understand white people.”

“Me and Barba aren’t white,” Nick replied.

“I can’t believe you all have nipple piercings,” Rollins added.

“My wife likes it.”

“Yes, I do,” Izzy said with a smile.

“Oh my god, Dad. How old are you?!”

“42, Rory.”

“You’re middle aged and you have your nipple pierced?!”

“Go back to playing with Matty, Aurora!”

“So gross,” she said as she walked off.

“She’s right. So gross, Dad,” Zara told Nick.

“Leave us alone. Go play in the water.”

“Well, Carisi?”

“What, Lieu?”

“You’re not going to defend yourself?”

“I’m single. I can do what I want.”


	106. Chapter 106

“We’ve been over this a 100 times at least, Camila. You’re not getting a car.”

“But Dad…”

“You have a MetroCard, plus the Uber app on your phone. This is New York. You have no use for a car.”

“You have one.”

“Technically, we have an SUV. Your mother and I need something to haul all you kids around in.”

“But Taylor got one.”

“And I’m not Taylor’s father. I’m yours. No car, end of discussion.”

“Ugh. I’m about to turn 17.”

“In December. It’s June. If I buy you a car then the other’s will expect one. Do you think me and your mother are made of money?”

“No,” she replied as she looked at her feet.

“Yeah, we’re able to give you guys nice things but…”

“Raf?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“We need to go.”

“What’s going on?”

“Yusef Massad was just picked up in an ICE raid not far from his sister’s apartment.”

“I thought Carisi was staying with him?”

“He let him go get cigarettes. Carisi was with him the whole time and they still took him.”

“Cami…”

“I know. Keep an eye on my brothers and sisters. Got it, Dad.”

“Liv wants us to meet her at the Passaic County Jail with a mat-wit warrant.”  
_____________________________________________  
“This is a state court warrant,” the ICE officer said as he looked at the paper Rafael had handed him.

“Because it's a state court case,” Izzy informed him.

“I understand, but that doesn't give you jurisdiction over Mr. Massad.”

“Mr. Massad is a material witness in a double rape, double homicide case that has been on the front page of every newspaper in this country for the past week,” Liv added, clearly growing frustrated.

“Irrelevant.”

“Is he here or not?” Rafael asked.

“No.”

“Where is he?”

“Mr. Massad is a national security threat, Sergeant.”

“You've gotta be kidding me,” Izzy scoffed.

“And he's being deported to Syria.”

“Okay, so he's being deported. So, he's still here. Where is he? What airport?”

“I can't disclose that information, Lieutenant.”

“Listen, two people were killed, and you're deporting the one person that can ID the men that did this?”

“I don't wanna get into politics, so I think it's time for y'all to leave before things get unpleasant.”

“No, no, they already are unpleasant,” Liv told him.

“I agree. Now get the hell outta here.”

“Or what? You're gonna deport me to Cuba? You gonna take her to Italy? Split up our family?”

The officer turned and walked off leaving the three of them to figure out their next move.

“The plane left ten minutes ago,” the officer behind the desk told them before they reached the door.

“What?” Izzy asked in shock.

“Sorry.”

“Sorry?” Rafael said with that snark.

“I got bosses just like you.”

“You know what happens next right?”

“Rafa…”

“I don’t have choice, Liv. Hector Ramirez will be released since Yusef can’t testify in front of the grand jury.”  
______________________________________  
“Do you know anything about Maya calling Liv?”

“No, Rafa, I really don’t.”

“With Hector getting shot and now Maya making up this phone call…Stevie and Mitch could very well walk. Cochran is going to call Liv to the stand.”

“Mitch’s wife, Carleen, she seemed scared to death of her husband.”

“Didn’t you tell me she had called the cops on him 4 times in the last two years?”

“Yeah.”

“See if you can talk some sense into her.”

“I’ll see what I can do. Try not to stay here too long,” she told him before kissing the top of his head and leaving his office.  
________________________________________  
Izzy caught Carleen in the hall after Liv testified that she had no conversation on the phone with Maya.

“They’re upset with your boss cause she didn’t back up their story?”

“It doesn't matter what she did or didn't say. Your husband is guilty.”

“I know what they did,” Carleen said with tears in her eyes as she walked toward the wall.

“Well, then do something about it. I know that you called the police four times in the last two years. I know that you know what kind of man he is. What kind of violence he's capable of.”

“He's my husband.”

“He's a rapist and a murderer. And the next dead woman on the floor that might be you. So, don't tell the truth for Maya or for Lela. Tell the truth for yourself and for your son. Take that first step.”

“Towards what?”

“Freedom. Safety.”

It was more than obvious Carleen took Izzy’s words to heart when she testified the next day and told the truth about where her husband actually was the night the Samra’s were killed. Mitch actually tried to attack her in the courtroom. It didn’t take the jury long to convict Mitchell Jenkins and Steven Cole of rape and murder.  
__________________________________  
“He told me I remind him of his Mama,” Rollins told Izzy over the phone one night in July after a particularly bad date.

“He said what?” Izzy laughed.

“Yes!”

Rafael was trying to sleep but not having much luck due to his wife’s laughing.

“Did you have sex with him?”

“And he thinks we had sex.”

“What do you mean he ‘thinks’ you had sex?”

“He was having sex with my inner thighs,” she told her best friend, who just started laughing harder, making the bed shake.

“It’s not that funny.”

“From my side, it really is,” Izzy replied as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “Where do you find these losers?”

“Bars, coffee shops. I met this guy at my gym.”

“You know you gotta find a new one, now. Didn’t you say he called you an Uber too?”

“Yes! I guess that counts for something. I had to take a shower when I got home. He ruined one of my favorite dresses.”

“I’d send him the dry cleaning bill.”

“I just want rid of it,” she chuckled. “I could never look at it the same time. I’d feel weird if I wore it again.”

Izzy still couldn’t stop laughing.

“I’d like some sleep, you two.”

“Uh-oh. I got you in trouble,” Amanda laughed when she heard Rafael from Izzy’s end of the conversations. “I’ll see you at the office Monday. Not a word.”

“I won’t. Bye.”

“I mean it. Not to Barba, not to Liv, not to Fin, not…”

“Okay, one of those you know is gonna happen.”

“Fine tell him not a word.”

“I will. Now, bye.”

“Thank you,” Rafael snorted.

“Sorry, babe.”

“What was so funny anyways?”

She started telling Rafael who couldn’t help but laugh himself. “As a 19-year-old, I still knew the difference between your vagina and your inner thighs.”

“She has a good man that is head over heels in love with her. I don’t know why she keeps wasting her time with these losers.”

“Leave it alone, mi amor.”

“I’m not going to meddle.”

“Good. Now, let me see if I can still tell the difference…”

“Again, huh?”

“I can’t help it,” he said as he kissed her shoulder. “I love with way you look after I make you come.”

“Rafa!”

“Drives me nuts,” he said as he bit his bottom lip and rolled on top of her.


	107. Chapter 107

“Cami I want you to be on your best behavior at dinner.”

“Dad, come on.”

“I mean it, Camila Luciana. You know how shy your sister is and this is a big deal for her.”

“I’m not going to say anything.”

“Okay.”

The doorbell rang just then.

“Can I get it?”

“No, Cami. Let your sister answer the door.”

“Ugh fine.”

“Go help your mother finish dinner.”

“Why do I always have to go in the kitchen?”

“How are you gonna keep a man when you get older if you don’t learn how to cook now?”

“Funny,” she said as she rolled her eyes and headed toward the kitchen.

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“You remember Will?” Rory said as she reintroduced the boy to her mother.

“I do. It’s nice to see you again, Will.”

“Y-y-you too, Mrs. Barba.”

“Ahem.”

“And you know my sister,” Rory responded with a motion toward Cami.

“Hey, Cami.”

“Hey, Will. So nice you could join us for dinner. It’s so lovely to have you in our home.”

“Well, we’re gonna go watch TV while we wait on dinner, if that’s okay.”

“Sure, Rory. I’ll let you know when it’s ready.”

“Thank you.”

“What was that about, Camila?”

“What ever do you mean, Mother?”

“Don’t ‘Mother’ me. That whole sweet not to mention incredibly fake welcome to Will.”

“I was just being polite.”

“No, you were being a smartass.”

“I am a Barba.”

“Complete silence at dinner.”

“Come on, Mom.”

“I mean it. Speak when you’re spoken to. No smart comments, no embarrassing your sister, none of that.”

“Dad’s already given me this speech.”

“Then listen. Now, since you want to play hostess, go let everyone know dinner is ready.”  
________________________________________________  
Will was very respectful during dinner. “Yes, sir”, “no, sir”, and the such. He told Rafael how he was interested in biochemistry but had started taking an interest in the law as well.

“So, do you like to read like Rory?”

“Yes, sir,” Will chuckled. “Kurt Vonnegut is probably my favorite author.”

“Is that right?”

“Love ‘Slaughterhouse Five’.”

“Did Rory tell you that’s her father’s favorite book?” Izzy asked with a smile.

“Um, no, she didn’t.”

“I never really thought about it, Mom,” Rory laughed.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Cami muttered, earning glares from both of her parents.

“I also like Tom Wolfe. I know that might seem a little mature for my age…”

“I was reading the same thing when I was your age, actually.”

“Kiss ass.”

“Camila you’re excused.”

“Oh, come on, Dad. Rory obviously told him to say this stuff…”

“Now,” he repeated calmly.

“Fine.”

“Excuse our oldest daughter. She’s…”

“Rude,” Rory interrupted her mother. 

“It’s fine but no, Rory never told me any of that about you, Mr. Barba.”

After dinner, Rafael agreed to let Rory and Will hang out in her room while he and Izzy cleaned up.

“I like him.”

“Of course, you do,” Izzy laughed. “I think I know why Rory likes him, too.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re her hero and it’s obvious he reminds her of you.”

“Did I remind you of your dad?”

“In a few ways, yeah. I think more so the older you get, too.”

“I’ll take that.”

“Will you take this?” She asked as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

“Over and over again,” he smiled once they finished.  
___________________________________  
"I don't have to tell you're grounded, do I?"

"Mom are you serious?"

"Your dad and I told you..."

"I was just kidding."

"You were such a smartass. You don't know him and you thought that Rory set him up to kiss your Dad's ass? Has any of your brother's or sister's ever given you a hard time when Kevin's come over?"

"No," she answered quietly.

"So, now, he can't come over for at least two weeks and I need your phone."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. Hand it over. iPad, too."

"Ugh, this is..."

"So unfair. Yes, I know, I know. You'll survive."  
_______________________________________________  
“Junior?”

“Yeah, Dad?”

“Where’s Gil?”

“He’s out back with Ella.”

“I thought you guys were playing video games today.”

“I thought so, too, but Ella came home from summer practice and said she was gonna go outside and work on her lay-ups some more. Gil asked if I minded if he went out and helped her. What was I gonna say?”

“I see. Feeling a little left out since they’re ‘dating’ now.”

“No. I don’t know. He was my friend, I mean and now he just wanted to spend time with her.”

“Is this just about Gil?”

“What do you mean?”

“Feel like your losing your sister, too?”

“A little I guess.”

“You know, what, I think you and I are gonna go to Brooklyn for a little bit.”

“What for?”

“To talk to someone that might can help you with this a little better. I mean, I’m an only child, so to be honest, I don’t know what you’re feeling.”

“Oh, okay.”

“I’ll let your Mom know.”  
_______________________________________  
“Hey,” Erin smiled as she answered Tony’s door.

“Where’s your boyfriend?”

“In his office,” she laughed. “Go on in.”

Rafael and RJ walked into Tony’s home office to find his desk a mess as he was sorting through some files.

“Whoa, college flashback.”

“What’s up, Barba? RJ?”

“Thought you might could talk to your nephew for a little bit.”

“What’s going on?”

“Well, Nick’s son Gil and Ella are seeing each other and someone is feeling left out, on both ends.”

“Ah. I see. Have a seat. You guys want a drink?”

“Beer.”

“Nice try, Junior,” his uncle laughed.

“Worth a shot. Coke is fine.”

“Your Aunt Erin has diet coke.”

“Ugh, that’s fine. That’s all mom keeps around.”

“Rafi?”

“Scotch is fine.”

Tony picked up his phone to text Erin.

“You did not just text her to bring us some drinks,” Rafael laughed.

“I’ve seen you do the same to my sister.”

“We’ve been together how long? And it beats the hell out of yelling through the house.”

Erin came in with the diet coke and two glasses of scotch. “I just got a call and have to head to the office.”

“Okay, you coming back here or…”

“It depends on how late I am.”

“Okay. Be careful.”

“I will. Just an interrogation. Bye, guys.”

“So, what’s going on, nephew?”

“Like Dad told you…”

“And so, you’re wondering if I had similar feelings?”

“Basically, I guess.”

“Well, yeah. Your dad and I became close really fast. We hung out all the time. Valentine’s Day 1994, that all but ended.”

“Did you feel left out?”

“A little, I’ll admit. I mean your Dad was my best friend and then he started spending all his time with your mom. On the other hand, your mom and I were close just like you and Ella and instead of hanging out with me or Erin, she was with your dad.”

“What did you do?”

“Well, I started hanging out with Erin but we’d all hang out together. Sometimes, it was just the three of us; me, your mom, and your dad. Just because my best friend was dating my life-long best friend, didn’t mean everything had to change. I mean, yeah, they’re gonna want to be alone, well as alone as your parents allow, but you can still have fun with your sister and your friend. That help at all?”

“A little, Uncle Tony.”

“You’ve got other friends besides Gil, right?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Hang out with them then.”

“You’re right.” 

“Get yourself a damn girlfriend,” Tony laughed.

“Well, I do kind of like someone.”

“I’m sure your Dad would let her come hang out.”

“Thanks, Tony. I have enough to deal with thanks to your nieces,” Rafael scoffed as he took a drink of his scotch.

“Well, you already know her Dad.”

“Who is it?”

“Zara,” he shrugged.


	108. Chapter 108

Izzy, Fin, and Liv were in Liv’s office discussing their latest case. 

While Melinda and Fin were in Cuba, he “came across” a fugitive they had let slip through their fingers in 2011, Byron Marks. Things were getting way out of hand very quickly, with Fin being basically being accused of kidnapping and torturing Marks.

Lucia had dropped Matty off when he got out of school because Cami had cheerleading practice and Rory had a student council meeting.

Carisi came busting into Liv’s office as Rafael and Izzy sat in there discussing the case.

Matty just sat in the corner, working on his homework, seemingly not paying attention. 

“Hey, I heard about your set back in court today and I’ve been looking into Baker v Carr. Now, in order to establish a political question, the complaining country Cuba needs to show they have the standing to do in the first place. That would mean they would have to show there was harm. Okay, so how do you harm a country? You harm its citizens, so obviously by that logic, Fin harmed Byron by snatching him up…”, Carisi started.

“But this Byron guy isn’t a Cuban citizen. So, the only Cuban citizens that were hurt by what Uncle Fin did, was Bryon’s wife and his kid. So, does that mean his wife is going to testify?” Matty interrupted. 

They all just turned and looked at the 8-year-old.

“Wow, I’m impressed,” Fin laughed.

“Me too,” Liv added.

“His Dad has been reading The Harvard Law Review to him since he was 6, guys.”

“Well, give yourself a kewpie doll, Detective,” Rafael told Sonny. “Matty on the other hand, gets ice cream when I get back.”

“Oh, Rafael are you mad because you didn’t think about it first?”

“Didn’t have to,” he said as he showed Carisi the motion, “Dworkin gave us notice. I gotta be in court. Good job, mijo,” he smiled as he kissed the top of his son’s head.

“First we had Mini-Dodds and now we have Mini-Barba? Hey, Matty, you know the world hates lawyers, right?”

“Is that why my dad hates you, Uncle Sonny?”

“Wha-he doesn’t…I’m not a lawyer.”

“But you did go to law school, right?”

“Burned by an 8-year-old,” Fin cracked up.

“I’m gonna find something to do,” Carisi said as he got up from the chair in Liv’s office.  
____________________________________________  
“Hey, Mom?”

“Yeah, Cami?”

“Do you need any help?” The blond haired, brown-eyed teenager asked when she walked into the kitchen.

“Uh, you can fix the salad if you want.”

“Okay,” she told her mother as she got the things out of the fridge.

“So, what do you want?”

“What do you mean?”

“I usually have to make you come in here and help me. You never just volunteer.”

“Well, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Okay.”

“How old were you when you first…”

“When I first did what?”

“You know.”

“I was 19, almost 20 and it was with your Dad. You know that. Why are you asking?”

“Well, I’ve been kind of…thinking about it.”

Izzy had to watch and make sure she didn’t cut her finger as she cut the potatoes. “Are…are you sure?”

“Well, Kevin and I have been together for about a year. How did you know that you wanted to?”

“Well, I just…I loved your Dad. I mean, I had dated a few guys before him and for a few months. Antonio I dated for like 6-7 months and I loved him, sure, but it wasn’t like what I felt with your dad.”

“Was it sort of like, electric, in a way?”

“Actually yeah, it was, come to think of it. I had never felt anything like I’ve felt with your dad in terms of feelings.”

“That’s kind of how I feel…”

“Cami you really need to think long and hard…”

Her mother’s choice of words made her giggle.

“Camila.”

“Oh, come on, Mom.”

“God you are related to your Uncle Tony. You really need to think this through. I understand you love each other but that is a really big step and it’s something to be taken lightly. I mean your dad was with Yelina for almost 3 years and wouldn’t do it cause he never felt like he was ready.”

“I know but…”

“Listen, you’re almost 17 and I can’t stop you cause I know if I tell you ‘no’, that’s just going to push you into doing it just to spite me and that is definitely the wrong reason to do it.”

“I’m thinking that maybe I should start some birth control, I mean, in case something happens.”

Izzy took a deep breath, “Okay. I will make you an appointment but it’ll be of my choosing.”

“Fair enough.”

“And if you do start having sex, Kevin better use back-up. So, help me God, you get pregnant, it’ll kill your father.”

“Mom I do not want babies anytime soon, I promise. What did you use?”

“Prayer.”

“Mom!”

“Your dad always used a condom.”

“Always?”

“ALWAYS. We never once had sex without one, until the night we got married and that’s when you were conceived incidentally.”

“The first time?”

“The first time. So, yes, it can happen.”

“How did he react?”

“Are you kidding? He was graduating law school with a job at the Brooklyn DA’s office, I had been on the force two years at that point, he was thrilled.”

“Really?”

“Really. I called and told him. He took your Uncle Tony’s car and made it to Brooklyn quicker than he should have. I’m surprised he didn’t get a ticket or two on his way here. We were 25, though.”

“I know.”

“I’ll make you an appointment tomorrow.”

“Thanks. Can we not tell Dad just yet? I mean I haven’t done anything so I don’t see the point in him knowing I’m on…”

“You know better than that. I will eventually have to tell him.”

“Ugh, fine. How did Pop-Pop take it when he found out about you?”

“Fine, at least on the outside. I think it made him feel a little better that I was almost 20 and your dad and I had been together 6 months before anything happened.”

“Dad will probably high-five the boys when it happens with them.”


	109. Chapter 109

“Ella?”

“Yeah, Dad?”

“I need to talk to you for a minute.”

“Am I in trouble?”

“No.”

“It’s not that kind of talk like Mom had with me…”

“God, no. I know you and Gil have been spending a lot of time together.”

“Yeah, he’s nice.”

“I know he is but you’re only in the 7th grade, he’s in the 8th grade. You don’t need to put everything into having a boyfriend right now.”

“He’s not my whole life, Dad.”

“I get that and having said that, you also need to remember he’s your brother’s best friend.”

“Okay?”

“So maybe when he comes over here, you should tell him to hang out with Junior some and do your own thing. You won’t die.”

“I get it, Dad,” she smiled.

“When you want to practice your shots and all that, you can ask someone other than Gil, too.”

“Mom’s usually not home and sorry, Dad, but you can’t shoot.”

“Not me or your mother, smartass. And for the record, my shot is a lot better than it was when I was your age…mainly because of your mother. You know what I mean.”

“I get it. Didn’t Mom practically monopolize you…”

“No. I still hung out with your uncle alone and so did your mom,” he chuckled. 

“Okay. He’s supposed to come over tomorrow. I can fake a headache or something.”

“God, you’re just like your mother.”

“What does that mean?”

“Huh? Nothing. Just forget it.”  
____________________________________  
“Raf…not tonight.”

“Another headache, really?”

“I’m just…I’m tired. This case has been…”

“I know. It hasn’t been easy on my end either. This whole double catfish thing, ugh. Wonder how Amanda and Carisi’s trip to West Virginia is going?”

“They got Heather Parcell in custody down there. Just waiting on the extradition order to come through, should be on their way back tomorrow. She last told me they were going to a bar with one of the Sheriff’s deputy or something.”

“That sounds awesome,” he scoffed. “Hey, did Liv tell you what Sheila did?”

“Telling Noah about Ellie? Yeah. There is something really off about that woman. I can’t put my finger on it. She just…she doesn’t seem right.”

“You know, Sheila started off wanting to vacate the adoption and now Liv’s letting her being a part of Noah’s life and she’s overstepped a major boundary. She had to have known that Liv hasn’t told Noah about Ellie. It’s not old enough to understand.”

“I know. It just…she bothers me. Maybe I’m just too overprotective.”

“Nothing wrong with that. Liv told me she used to be so sure that she knew what was best for Noah, but now, as he gets older, she’s just doubting myself at every turn.”

“What did you tell her?”

“That raising kids, never gets any easier. I mean look at what we ended up with: a spoiled princess, a female version of me, twins one of which Nick is terrified of and the other, he’s already turning into a horny teenager and he’s only 12, then an almost 9 year old who’s too smart for his own good. But I also told her she can trust her instincts.”

“That was good.”

“So, you still got that headache?”

“Not really,” she smiled as his hand grazed her thigh, sending a slight shiver through her body.

His lips made contact with her bare shoulder before he made his way up. She turned her head slightly to look into his green eyes as they peered up at her.

Her hand ended up holding the back of his head as she moved to kiss him. Her fingers went through his hair as he moved to get on top of her. She grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head, his crucifix lightly hitting her chin while he pulled her pink panties down. She got them down around her ankles before flicking them off with her feet.

She pushed his pajama pants and boxers down with her feet as they continued kissing, a low growl coming from this throat as his tongue got more forceful, the kissing getting sloppier. She knew that meant he wasn’t looking to take his time, just take her.

“Raf…” she moaned as he slowly entered her before putting all of his cock inside of her. 

She moaned as he started picking up his pace. He held himself above her as he pounded into her, trying in the same process to keep the headboard from hitting the wall too hard and fast.

“Come for me, baby,” he moaned as he was getting close himself. 

“Al…most there, Rafa,” she panted. 

It wasn’t much longer and her mind went totally blank and her entire body pulsated. A loud series of moans came from him as he released into her as her walls tightened around his cock as if it she wasn’t going to let it go.

A bead of sweat rolled down his nose onto her cheek before he kissed her.  
_________________________________  
“Are you serious?” Izzy asked Amanda after she told her Carisi tried to make a move on her in West Virginia. “What did you do?”

“I slept with the bartender.”

“Amanda.”

“What?”

“A perfectly nice guy that you know, that loves your daughter tried to make a move and you slept with the bartender of some Podunk dive?”

“I just…I didn’t want it to be because we had been drinking…”

“But that was okay for the bartender?”

“I’m never going to see him again.”

“Lord. Why didn’t you sleep with that deputy down there if the fact that you weren’t going to see him again was the selling point?”

“Stop making fun of my hook-ups.”

“Stop getting hook-ups that I can make fun of,” Izzy told her.

“What are you two ladies talking about?” Nick asked as he walked up to them by the vending machines.

“Bartenders,” Izzy said with a smirk.

He just kind of looked between the two blonds and walked away.

“Seriously?”

“For all he knew, we were talking about ‘Cocktail’.”

“Hey, gossip girls.”

“Yeah, Fin?”

“Barba needs you two for trial prep.”  
____________________________________  
“I screwed up, Rafael,” Liv sniffled as she sat in her office after Noah had been kidnapped while shopping with Sheila for a coat. They found out, Sheila was the one that actually took him and now locating her was top priority.

“No. This was coordinated, planned, well-executed. Look, there's no way you could have seen this coming, Liv,” he told her.

“You know what the problem is with this job? What good do we really do? I mean, we come in after the fact with a broom and a mop and we clean up the mess. What would really matter, or would really be special is if, just one time, we could prevent it from hitting the floor.”

“We prevent the next mess.”

“I should have seen this coming. As a cop, as a mother, I should have seen this coming.”

“Well, you…” he started but he stopped.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“You can't punch me harder than I've already punched myself, believe me.”

“Maybe you wanted this Sheila thing to work out too much. Look, maybe all you just wanted was a family.”

“Yeah,” she scoffed. “What was I thinking? I mean I have a brother that the last time I saw him, he had kidnapped his kids from foster care, before that he almost cost me my badge."

“That’s why I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”

After they figured out how she must’ve found her lawyer in New York through a PI out of Boston. Rafael grabbed his coat as he decided to go have a chat with Sheila’s lawyer, Susan Janet.

“You know, not for nothing, Liv, but you’ve always had a family,” he told her before walking out.  
______________________________________  
“Sergeant?”

“Nobody's home, Chief,” she told her father in law as she and Fin finished up paperwork after Noah was found and returned home safely.

“Uh, where is she?”

“Probably enjoying a little time off,” Fin answered.

“I heard they found her son.”

“Yeah, turns out he was on a little road trip with grandma.”

“And I can assume she followed my order to stay away from this case?”

“Last thing I heard, she was at home, waiting by the phone,” Izzy replied.

“By herself?”

“You be right on that.”

“Well, I'm glad you're on our side, Detective Tutuola.”

“Count your blessings, Chief.”

“Dick,” they both muttered as he walked away. 

“Buy you a drink, Shorty?”

“Why not, Fin? I think we could use it after the last few days.”  
_____________________________________  
A few days later, everyone gathered at Liv’s just to hang out. Amanda brought Jesse, Izzy and Rafael only brought Matty.

“You know, I’ve, uh, thought about what you said in my office a few days ago, Rafa.”

“What’s that?”

“That I’ve always had a family.”

“I learned years ago that blood isn’t the only thing that makes family, Liv.”

“I think Noah has all he needs.”

“I think we all do.”


	110. Chapter 110

“Why does Dad have to have poker night over here?”

“Cause it’s his turn, Ella. Besides, Nick is bringing Gil and Zara.”

“Ugh, Nick.”

Izzy never quite understood Ella’s problem with Nick but he was swore she was evil. “That’s probably them now. Go answer the door for me if you don’t mind.”

“Sure, Mom.”

Ella looked at the camera to make sure it was the Amaro’s on their stoop before opening the door.

“Hey, Gil. Hey, Zara.”

“Hey, Ella,” Gil said as he hugged her.

“Nicholas.”

“Rafaella,” he replied as he sort of side stepped her while she glared at him the whole time.

“Your child wants to kill me,” Nick told Izzy as he came in the kitchen.

“She does not.”

“I’m telling you, Izz, she’s had it out for me since that time we took the kids swimming and I dunked her.”

“They were 4 then.”

“Still. I don’t trust her. I think she’s only with Gil to try and smother me in my sleep.”

“Okay, Charlie Telphy. You need to stop watching TV. Where’s Cynthia?”

“Still sick. She did make that dip you like.”

“Just for me?”

“Yes. You know she’ll text or call to make sure we didn’t touch it.”

“Oh, I know she will. Carisi and Fin should be here any minute. Tony and Raf are in his home office if you want to go up there.”

“Thanks.”

“Hey, Mom?”

“What’s up, Rory?”

“How late did Dad say I could stay out tonight?”

“10:30.”

“But Cami gets an hour later than me.”

“And she’s just turned 17. When you get older, he’ll raise your curfew.”

“Fine.”

“I think you’ll live.”

“I know. I was just hoping for maybe an extra 30 minutes.”

“Next year.”

“What’s with the look, Mom?”

“You’re just…you’re turning into a girl.”

“Mom,” Rory whined.

“Let me enjoy this.”

“I’m leaving.”

“10:30.”

“I know.”  
_________________________________________  
“I swear Nick is cheating,” Tony laughed after losing another hand to Nick.

“You just suck, Tony. You always have,” Rafael told him.

“You have a tell, Rossetti.”

“What do you mean?”

“We always know when you’re bluffing,” Fin chuckled.

“How?”

“We can’t tell you that then you’ll stop doing it. It’s the same one your sister has when she claims she’s not in the mood.”

“Like she ever does that,” Carisi laughed.

“Not really. I can have my wife anytime, anywhere, and anyhow I want.”

“Is that right,” Izzy asked from behind him.

“I…I was just kidding.”

“Uh-huh. Okay,” she said as she walked away, nodding her head. She knew he was just trying to look like “the man” in front of his friends and the 5 glasses of scotch didn’t help his mouth but she thought as she walked off that maybe she needed to have a little fun with his cocky attitude.

“You’re in trouble,” Tony told his brother in law.

“Please. I can go in there tonight and she’ll have forgotten all about it.”  
___________________________________  
“I said no.”

“Oh, come on. I was just kidding,” he whined.

“And that’s fine but after cleaning up after you guys and keeping an eye on the kids, making sure the girls made curfew, I am tired and just want to sleep.”

“Fine. You want to be like that, don’t come to me when you’re in the mood.”

“Oh, whatever, Rafa. Just go to sleep.”

“I am and I meant what I said.”

“Good night, Raf.”

Within 15 minutes, he was snoring so loud and deep, just like he always did after a few too many.

Izzy just sort of laughed as she turned the TV up just a little to drown him out so she could get some sleep herself.   
_______________________________________  
It had been a few days since poker night and Izzy was sticking with her plan as was Rafael. She’d wear pants that hugged her ass just perfectly. They’d lay in bed at night, she’d rub her ass against him.

She could hear him getting frustrated when he’d sigh and roll over onto his other side. She’d do her best not to laugh.

He was doing his part, too, though. He’d be helping clean the kitchen and he’d rub his dick against her ass when he’d move to put something away. They were both having too much fun torturing the other one.

“So, how’s things at your house?” Amanda laughed as they stood at the coffee pot.

“Honestly, I don’t know who wants it more but I’m not giving in.”

“Come on, he was just trying to look good in front his guys.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun but damn, I didn’t think about the consequences on my end.”

“So, just give in.”

“Never. He started it.”

“He’s been in a really bad mood this week.”

“Well, this case with Martha Cobb isn’t helping.”

“Did she really say something about Rory dating a black guy…”

“Liv and I took her in for trial prep and Rory and Will were there grabbing some Knicks tickets and she asked what he was being charged with after they left. I thought Rafael was going to come unglued. Having sex or not it wouldn’t have changed his reaction. He told her to mind her business for starters and then further told her he didn’t care what color or race someone that one of his kids dated was. It was about how his kids were treated.”

“What did she say to that?”

“You’ve met her. She just sort of brushed it off.”

“Since when does Rory like the Knicks?”

“Will does so she wants to do stuff that he likes, too, even though she doesn’t.”

“A real relationship, huh?”

“Yeah. I feel bad for Kevin because Princess Cami isn’t that thoughtful.”

“How did she get so spoiled?”

“First child, first girl…”

“Wrapped around Daddy’s finger since she was born.”

“You got it, Rollins.”  
__________________________________  
It had been a week now. Rafael and Izzy were still playing “who wants it more” and neither giving in. Even taking showers together, they’d mess with each other to the point they were both aching to give in but they were both so stubborn they wouldn’t.

He left for work before she did one morning and even though it was January and cold, she went into the closet and picked out something she knew would drive him crazy.

Liv was out with Noah, who had strep throat and an ear infection, leaving Izzy in charge and in at “the big desk”. She walked into the office in her short black skirt, knee high black boots, black sweater with a white button up underneath it, under her long black wool coat.

“Pulling out all the stops I see.”

“I’m going to make him give in, Amanda. One way or another.”

“You’re evil.”

“Maybe. So, how are things going with Dr. Al?”

“Uh, not too bad. Just kind of taking it a step at a time.”

“Good. Now, Liv text me and told me I need to check your Memo and Mileage books.”

“Heavy lies the crown,” Amanda chuckled as she walked out of the office to relay the message to the guys.  
________________________________________  
Rafael came to get some files they had completed after the Martha Cobb case. He hadn’t seen what his wife was wearing that day and nearly dropped his briefcase when he saw her half bent over, going through a file cabinet in Liv’s office.

Everyone was gone to lunch so he shut and locked the door, then pulled the blinds shut.

“Raf…”

Her words were interrupted by his mouth on hers. His tongue didn’t ask for permission as it darted in her mouth. “I can’t take it anymore,” he panted as he backed her over to the couch in Liv’s office.

“What…do…you…mean?” She asked between kisses.

“You win. Okay? I won’t brag anymore but I need you…now.”

His jacket and vest were thrown onto the desk while he sat on his knees and pushed his suspenders down, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. He pulled his boxers down just enough and pushed her panties to the side before entering her.

“God,” she moaned.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he whispered against her neck. He grabbed a fist full of her hair, pulling her head back so he could get to the one spot of her neck, making sure to suck a spot that would leave a mark.

“Rafa!”

“Say my name, mi amor.”

“Rafael,” she moaned as his thrusts got faster and harder causing him to send her over the edge, following behind her just a few seconds later.

Once they caught their breaths and came down from their highs, he fixed his pants and suspenders and she went over to her purse and pulled out a pair of black pants of her own.

“What are those?”

“It’s cold.”

“You planned this. You knew I’d see your legs and ass in that skirt…”

She interrupted him with a kiss. “Tell me you didn’t enjoy it.”

“It has been a while since we’ve ‘misused’ working hours,” he told her with that smirk.

“Technically it’s lunchtime.”

“You’re terrible.”

“Maybe a little,” she giggled. “I’m gonna have to clean Liv’s couch.”

“Yeah you are.”

“Just me?”

“It was your ass against the leather, not mine.”

“Do we need to play this game again?”

“No! No, cariño.”

“Okay then.”

“I’ll help you wipe it down,” he laughed as he buttoned his vest and straightened his tie.


	111. Chapter 111

“This can’t be happening.” “Rafa she’s 17…” 

“We were almost 20.”

“I know that but you know if I had told her no, she would’ve went behind our backs.”

“I know but damn. We just brought her home from the hospital…”

“That was 17 years ago. She’ll be 18 this December.”

“Well, at least she did come to you for the birth control.”

“And I made her get that implant that lasts 5 years so we don’t have to worry about her missing pills.”

“Did he at least…”

“She said he did.”

“He better have. We’re only 43. We’ve got 1 almost out of the house and 4 to go. I’m not raising anymore kids after ours.”

“Okay, Rafa,” Izzy said as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

“When did they start growing up on us?”

“I have no idea. Why don’t you go fix a drink?”

“Would you like one, mi amor?”

“You know, I think I would,” she smiled.

“I’ll be right back.”

He walked out of the kitchen, leaving his phone sitting on the counter. It began to ring but it was a number that Izzy didn’t recognize so she just let it go to voicemail. She figured it was a spam call of some kind, even if it did come from NYC so when a message was left, she decided to listen to it. They never minded if the other checked their messages. 

“Here you go, cariño,” Rafael said as he handed his wife her drink.

“You had a phone call.”

“Yeah? Liv?”

“No, uh, the Dean of Columbia. He said he received your resume and was looking forward to speaking with you?”

“Oh?”

“What’s going on, Rafa?”

“Okay, complete honesty? I’ve started to feel…disillusioned with my job.”

“In what way?”

“You know, the whole thing with Martha Cobb…I wasn’t sure if Vichinsky actually assaulted her. Yeah, there was evidence but it really was circumstantial at best.”

“And Judge Horowitz commended you for being courageous…”

“I know but…am I losing it?”

“Losing what, babe?”

“Whatever it was I always had in the courtroom?”

“Not at all. I think…you’ve stopped seeing the world in black and white.”

“Would you still love me if I wasn’t an ADA?”

“Are you kidding? I’d love you no matter what. So, are you thinking of becoming a professor?”

“Maybe,” he shrugged.

“Hmm, Professor Barba.”

“I like the way that rolls off your tongue,” he smiled before he kissed her.

“Look, you do whatever you feel is necessary. Whatever you think will make you happy. I will always be 100% behind you.”

“Gracias, mi amor.”

“De nada, guapo.”  
_____________________________________________  
“How can a father continue to put his child through something like this?” Rafael asked his wife as they laid in bed during their latest case, that of baby Drew Householder. He had been diagnosed with MDDS. He was only 10 months old.

His father had “kidnapped” him to keep his wife from turning off the machines to let Drew go in peace. The squad was in desperate search of him, without Izzy and Nick, who were on forced furlough due to their tons of personal time they had banked. 

“I don’t know, dear,” Izzy answered quietly.

“You know, when Matty was born, I was scared to go see him.”

“Why?”

“Cause I thought to myself, ‘What if I get attached to this beautiful boy and he’s taken from us just as quick’?”

“Rafa…”

“I wouldn’t have wanted machines keeping him alive. Any of our kids for that matter.”

“You fought me and your mother when it came to your dad…”

“I was selfish.” 

“What do you mean?”

“I knew there was nothing that could be done but I let him suffer anyways.”

“You did what you thought was right. I mean, he left the decision to you.”

“After all these years, I still don’t think I made the right one. I should’ve let him go when you and Mami were trying to talk me into it.”

“Let’s try not to worry about it tonight. Try to get some sleep.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Rafael.”

That night, he kicked and screamed in his sleep, causing him to move to the couch, unlike the guestroom like usual.  
________________________  
Drew had been found with his Dad, who said he had a gun but when Liv went inside, she found it to be nothing but a paintball gun.

“I am not a horrible person, Mr. Barba. His doctors say that he has no brain activity. He is a lump of flesh. My beautiful lump of flesh, he should get the peace that we all deserve. He can't see. He can't hear. I mean, go. Go look at him. He is all but dead already,” Maggie Householder cried to Rafael in the interrogation room. “Do you have kids, Mr. Barba?”

“My wife and I have 5,” he said quietly.

“What would you do if you were in my shoes?”

“I honestly can’t answer that.” Actually, he could answer but he chose not to. He couldn’t make Maggie’s decision for her.

“Christ,” Rafael muttered as they watched Maggie & Aaron try to talk.

“Nobody's forcing you to prosecute,” Izzy told him. 

“If I don't, I'm telling the world that baby Drew has no rights.” 

“What about his right to die?” Rollins asked.

“Unfortunately, that's not in the Constitution,” Carisi answered. 

“Okay, uh, let's find out if daddy's little excursion yesterday caused the baby any harm.” 

“So, you can let Aaron go with a clear conscience,” Liv asked.

“So, I can prosecute, and maybe get some sleep in the next decade or so.” 

Since the case had broken, he had been having terrible nightmares about his dad being on life-support. Cami was worried about her dad, asking Izzy what was going on because she had come down in the middle of the night to get some water and saw him tossing and turning to the point she thought he was gonna fall off the couch.  
_________________________________________  
The next night, Rafael was in his office, having a drink, staring out the window. 

“We don't pay you to think, we pay you to work,” Jack McCoy said as he walked in and pointed to the bottle, “Sure, I'll have one. You know, I always wish the law was more like chemistry. You heat up water to 212 degrees, and the son of a bitch boils.” 

“Sans bias, sans judgment.” 

“Sans conscience. So, what's so interesting out that window?” 

“My father; almost seven years ago, Dad went into a diabetic coma and he was on life support for six weeks.” 

“Ah, I'm sorry.” 

“No, don't be. He was not well-liked. By anyone. Especially me. My children aren’t missing anything without him around. Still, I was at the hospital every morning before work, and every night, until the nurses threw me out or called my wife to come drag me home. The doctors said that there was nothing they could do for him. There was no brain activity. They highly recommended that we end it. And I said, ‘No. Where there's life, there's hope’, fought with my wife and mother over it even. I could've eased his suffering, but I didn't. And I told myself that it's because Father Mike wouldn't approve.” 

“I'm sure he wouldn't.” 

“I was selfish. I hated the man. But still, I didn't want the burden of being the reason that he took his last breath. I was selfish. I let him suffer.” 

“Prosecute Aaron Householder.” 

“For doing the same thing that I did to my dad?” 

“The law is what the statute says it is.” 

“It's a shame. No matter how hard we try, we can't legislate morality.” 

“We're not in the compassion business, Rafael.” 

“Sure. Why not?” 

“Cut a deal. Offer him probation. Go to church. Say three Hail Mary’s. Then come back here and finish off that bottle. Or better yet, go home to your wife and children. Having a family is a privilege one shouldn’t squander.” 

He nodded as Jack put on his hat and headed out the door.  
____________________________________________  
He finally came home around 1 in the morning.

“Rafa?”

“Yeah, it’s me, cariño.”

“Where have you been?”

“I went to the hospital, saw Drew.”

“Are you okay?”

“I…uh…recused myself from the case.”

“What do you mean?”

“I told Jack I couldn’t make an objective decision after what happened with my dad and asked to be removed from the case.”

“Baby…” she whispered as she wrapped her arms around him.

“I just…I can’t,” he told her as he broke down in tears while she held him. “I was so selfish.”

“Shh.”

“I think…uh…I’m going to accept Columbia’s offer.”

“Are you serious?”

“I know you didn’t expect this news at 1 in the morning but…”

“Hey, you do whatever you feel you need to. I’ll always be right here.”  
________________________________________  
"You don't have to do this, Rafael," Jack said as he walked into Rafael's office with his resignation letter in hand.

"I know but I just think I need to move on."

"Tell you what. You need a break? I'll give you that."

"What do you mean?"

"You can still draw your personal time, which you have more than enough of to get your family through for nearly two years. I don't think you'll be gone that long but let's not put in for your pension just yet."

"Okay?"

"Take a break. Spend time with your beautiful family if that's what you need to do. You just tell me when you're ready to come back."

"Sure, Jack," he said as they shook hands.

"I have a feeling I'll being see you soon," McCoy smiled before leaving Rafael's office.


	112. Chapter 112

“She’s what?!” Izzy asked Tony when he told her the news.

“You heard me; Erin’s pregnant.”

“Oh my god! This is so exciting,” Izzy said as she hugged her brother. “Why aren’t you more excited?”

“I’m scared out of my mind, sis.”

“You’re a wonderful uncle so I know you’ll be an even better father.”

“I hope so. I just want to be like Pop and Rafael. I mean they are two of the best fathers I know.”

“You think Rafael is one of the best fathers you know?”

“Of course. He learned from the best, didn’t he?”

“That’s very true,” Izzy chuckled. “So, what is Erin gonna do with her job?”

“She knows she’ll have to be on desk duty.”

“It sucks but it’s worth it. I can’t believe she hasn’t told me.”

“She’s been busy. I mean, we just found out a week ago. Ma and Pop don’t even know.”

“You know Aunt Izzy is going to throw a hell of a baby shower. A co-ed one, too.”

“Will there be alcohol?”

“Well, duh!”

“So, Rafael’s really going to teach at Columbia?”

“He is. Jack doesn’t think it’s permanent though.”

“What do you think?”

“Honestly, Tony, I don’t know. He felt like he lost his panache in the courtroom.”

“There’s no way. He’s had that since college.”

“He just wants to do something different. I’m behind him 100%.”

“I know you are.”  
_________________________________________  
“Hey, Detective Barba…”

“It’s Sergeant Barba, Stone.”

“My apologizes,” the new ADA smiled, “I spoke to Antonio Dawson the other day and he told me to tell you ‘hi’.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Izzy replied as she brushed off the guy that took her husband’s place. Granted, Rafael made the decision himself to “take a break”. She just didn’t like Stone. Rollins, Nick, Fin, Carisi, and Liv really didn’t either; although the guys were more apt to give him a break.

When Barba first came to SVU, he was brash, snarky, etc but Stone was just arrogant. Sure, Rafael was too but he had reason to be. He had won some of the toughest cases in both Brooklyn and Manhattan. He had earned that right. 

“You really don’t like him, huh?” Nick asked.

“Not really. He thinks he’s coming in here, taking my husband’s place and thinking he’s anything like my husband. I know, I know Rafael chose to leave the DA’s office but Stone comes in here like he fucking owns the place. Plus, he played for the Cubs. As far as I’m concerned, he might as well have played for the fucking Mets.”

“Yeah, I don’t care much for him either,” Rollins added. 

“Come on, guys…”

“No, Fin. He thinks he’s somebody cause he was Ben Stone’s son. He should’ve stayed in Chicago,” Rollins replied.

“And I can talk to Antonio any fucking time I want,” Izzy replied.  
_______________________________________  
“What do you mean she’s shutting you out?” Izzy asked her brother.

“She won’t let me come to any appointments, she’s stopped coming over, blowing off dates, she won’t let me know what’s going on basically,” her brother told her about Erin. “Have you talked to her?”

“Not much other than a text here and there. This whole organ harvesting thing is getting worse by the moment.”

“So, this doctor has done this before?”

“From what Nick and I found, several times more. Out of the 35 children she has gotten organs from, only four families remember signing actual consent forms.”

“Jesus Christ. What’s Barba say?”

“Nothing. He doesn’t work there.”

“He said the contract that Columbia offered him was pretty lucrative.”

“It was nothing to sneeze at, that’s for sure,” his sister laughed.

“So, what about the personal time pay?”

“Oh, your niece will probably end up with car she’s been begging for when she turns 18.”

“God, I can’t believe she’s gonna be 18 this year. Matty just turned 9, the twins are 13! Rory is gonna be 16 in June. Jeez.”

“You can’t believe it? Oh, speaking of were you…”

“I got Cami the summer internship.”

“Thank you. She needs it for her college applications.”

“No problem. At least I can help someone.”

“Erin’s probably still…”

“She’s two months along.”

“When did this start happening?”

“After we told Mom and Dad and she told Hank.”

“What did Hank say?”

“He sounded excited. I mean he doesn’t get to see Justin’s son since his wife moved to Arizona after Justin was murdered. He’ll probably be out here often, I’m sure.”  
__________________________________  
Izzy was cooking dinner after the doctor that had been harvesting organs illegally had been found guilty when the doorbell rang. She was more than shocked when she checked the camera to see who was at their door.

“Stone?”

“I…uh…hope I’m not interrupting, Sergeant.”

“Not at all. Come in. Everything okay?”

“I was wondering if I could speak to your husband for just a few minutes, maybe?”

“Sure, come on,” she told him as she motioned for him to follow her upstairs. “Raf?”

“Yeah?” He asked as he looked up from one of the text books for the Civil Procedure class he would be teaching in the fall.

“You have company.”

“Mr. Stone.”

“Mr. Barba I know we didn’t really get a chance to speak before you left the DA’s office but I wanted to thank you for attending my father’s funeral.”

“He was a good lawyer and a good man.”

“So everyone says. I was wondering if I could ask your opinion about something.”

“Sure. Drink?”

“Scotch is fine.”

“So, what’s up, Stone?” Rafael asked as he handed Peter the glass, sat in his chair, and propped his feet up on his desk.

“Dr. Franchella's sentencing.”

“My wife said you were going to ask for jail time?”

“We need to set an example.” 

“For all the progressive-minded pediatric surgeons out there?”

“Exactly.” 

“Take my advice. Don't be a bully. She's gonna lose her medical license over the felony conviction. That's the worst punishment she could ever imagine.”

“I just took this job. I don't wanna look like a pushover. Which I’m sure you can appreciate.”

“Ask my wife if I’ve been perceived that way,” Rafael replied with his eyebrow raised. “I have to ask, though, is that the reason or are you overcompensating?”

“For what?” Stone scoffed.

“For not being in the room with your father when he died.”

Peter sat in the chair in Rafael’s home office and wondered if he was right. He finished his drink, thanked Rafael for his time, and saw himself out.  
_____________________________________  
“You seriously think you’d get custody of this child?” Erin practically screamed at Tony. “You’re an ADA. How would possibly manage being a single dad?”

“I have my family and not to mention, my sister and brother in law are two of the best parents I know.”

“Pssh. I think your sister has her hands a little too full to be able to help you”

“Erin that is my child and I have rights, dammit. Don’t think I haven’t already spoken to Rafael about this.”

“Of course, you’d run to the Professor.”

“That’s right and he in turn called Rita Calhoun.”

“Calhoun’s a defense attorney…”

“And a former classmate, if you’ll remember. She said just say the word and she’d draw up the paperwork.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Just try me…Agent Lindsay. If this goes to court, nothing in your past will be safe and you know that,” he said before he walked out of her apartment, slamming the door behind him.


	113. Chapter 113

“So, are you getting excited…Professor?” Izzy asked as they cooked dinner together one night during the of summer 2018.

“For a few reasons,” Rafael grinned.

“Really? Like what?”

“Well, it’s something I’ve wanted to do at some point in my life and most of all, I get to be at home more and have more nights like this, well, when you’re home at least.”

“Oh my god! Why is Uncle Tony always in such a bad mood?” Cami huffed as she came in from “work”.

“What do you mean?”

“Your brother is just as scary as I’ve heard Dad is.”

“Oh, thanks,” her father scoffed.

“It’s a long story.”

“I heard him yelling at Aunt Erin over the phone. I thought they were having a baby.”

“She is…it’s just…”

“Adult stuff. I’m 17, Mom.”

“Cami…”

“I know. I know,” she said as she grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before walking out.

Rafael and Izzy went back to cooking, he worked on cooking the shrimp and chicken while she kept a close eye on her great-grandmother’s alfredo sauce.

“Mom, Dad?”

“Yeah, Cami?”

“You have company.”

They turned to see Erin in their kitchen. Izzy knew the look on her face too well.

“Where the do you get off, Barba?”

“Excuse me?”

“I got served with papers from Rita Calhoun today.”

“For?”

“Tony already claiming his rights to my child.”

“That’s his baby, too,” Izzy interjected.

“She’s right,” Rafael agreed. “He has rights just like you do. Unless Halstead snuck out here and you’re not sure who the father is.”

“Go to hell, Barba. Your signature is on here, too.”

“Don’t fuck with me, Erin. You could’ve avoided all this but you chose not to,” he replied as his eyes went black. “I have a lot more free time on my hands and with my help, Rita is gonna have a very solid case against you.”

“You two just need to mind your own fucking business.”

“Hey! That’s half my DNA you got in there so it is my fucking business and don’t you dare speak to me or my husband like that in our house again,” Izzy seethed. “I hope you can find a lawyer that’s willing to go against both Rafael and Rita. Now, get the hell out of my house.”

She turned and walked out of the kitchen, slamming the door as she left.

“Where the fuck does she get off coming in our house, speaking to either of us like that?”

“What are you doing?”

“Calling Rita,” Rafael answered his wife as he walked out of the kitchen.

“What the hell just happened?”

“Don’t ask, Rory,” Izzy replied as she rolled her eyes.

“I can tell Dad’s pissed.”

“Where did that mouth come from all of a sudden?”

“Sorry, Mom.”

“I guess I can’t say much.”

“It’s not like I was dropping the f-bomb you and Dad are so fond of,” Rory laughed.

“I don’t think I dropped that in front of your grandparents until I was like…18,” Izzy told her with a small chuckle.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”  
__________________________________  
“Hey, Liv, you got a minute?”

“Sure, Izz. Come in, have a seat,” Benson answered as she looked up from her desk. “What’s up?”

“Uh, the other night, Rollins…she threw some money down on her desk in front of Sky.”

“And you were in charge that night. Did you say anything to her?”

“Yeah, I did, actually. I told her it was unprofessional for starters.”

“Good. Now, any idea why she did that?”

“That doctor she was seeing apparently was keeping company with escorts while she was working.”

“Really? How’d she find this out?”

“He left his credit card statement out.”

“Working girls that take Amex. Huh.”

“Yeah. I don’t know. I think she was really hoping this might be something worthwhile and maybe she could use a day or two off.”

“If that’s what you think, Sergeant.”

“Yeah?”

“That’s why you hold your position. Not just because you passed some exam but because I need a number 2 that I can trust to make decisions like this. I mean, look at how you helped Nick after the Johnny D shooting. It was hard but you still did the right thing in the end.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Nick might not thank you for it all the time but I sure do. You saved one of the best detectives that has ever been in this unit, well next to you, me, and Fin,” Liv added with a small laugh and smirk. “But yeah, give Rollins a couple days off if you want. We’re not exactly short-handed.”  
__________________________________  
“Well, how do I look?”

“Like a lawyer,” Izzy chuckled as her husband got ready for his first day of his new career.

“Think I should change?”

“Not at all,” she told him as she straightened his tie. “I think you look exactly how you always do…handsome.”

“You’re just saying that,” he blushed.

“Rafael Barba. Are you really blushing?”

“You should’ve seen me before our first date,” he laughed before kissing his wife.

“Oh, Tony told me. I was just as bad.”

“Well, wish me luck?”

“You don’t need it. Just like you didn’t need it one that first big case you got in Brooklyn.”

“You’ve always had faith in me, huh?”

“Won’t ever stop.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, babe. There’s a present in your briefcase…ah, ah. Don’t get it out until you get to your new office,” she told him as he started to go for his briefcase.

“Is it dirty?”

“Rafa!”

“A guy can hope can’t he?”

“It’s more…funny in my mind.”

“Dirty then.”

“It’s not dirty. I think you’ll get it when you see it.”

“Okay, well, I don’t want to be late for my first day of class.”

“No, you don’t. I’ll see you this evening.”

“Okay. Love you…so much.”

“I love you more.”

“I love you most, mi amor.”

“If you say so.”  
_____________________________  
He got to his new office that he and Izzy had decorated before school started and opened his briefcase to find a new coffee mug, a Darth Vader coffee mug at that. Rafael immediately started laughing. He got his wife’s joke. 

They were graduates of Harvard and here he was teaching at Columbia, meaning he had turned to “the dark side”. “At least it wasn’t Yale,” he thought to himself with a smile as he sat the mug on his desk next to a picture frame with several pictures of him and his wife. The pictures seemed to tell their story in a way.

He heard his first class start filing in and got up, ready to mold the future legal minds of the country.  
__________________________________  
“It’s kind of weird having you home early,” RJ laughed as Rafael sat in his home office grading papers.

“Why because you can’t sneak girls in with me being here?”

“What?! No. I’d never do that.”

“Yeah. Like I don’t know about Zara coming over last week when I had a late class and your mom was still at work?”

“Who…Matty!”

“If you’ve learned anything about your little brother, it should be that it’s gonna take a lot more than a Snickers to keep his mouth shut.”

“Why haven’t you said anything?”

“For starters, she’s just moved back out here permanently so I don’t want her to get in trouble with your Uncle Nick. For another, Matty said you two just sat on the couch and made out.”

“That little pervert watched?”

“He’s 9, Junior. He’s curious.”

“How much trouble am I in?”

“This is your only warning. I find out that it happens again…you’re going on at least 2 weeks without technology.”

“Ugh, fine. So, what are you doing?”

“Grading papers. I swear your 9-year-old brother has a better legal mind than some of my students.”

“Jeez. So, anyways, can Zara come over?”

“Ask your mother.”

“Mom? Really?”

“What? Your mother and I used to babysit Zara. I don’t think she’d have a problem with it.”

“Okay,” RJ groaned as he went to call his mom.

She told him it was fine and to let Rafael know she would be home soon.  
____________________________________  
Izzy started walking up her stoop to be met by a visibly pregnant Erin.

“What’s up?”

“I need to talk to your brother.”

“Rita and Rafael told him…”

“I know but I…I can’t…I can’t do this by myself,” she told Izzy as she broke down in tears.

“Come on,” Izzy told her with a small eye roll as she unlocked the door.

She led Erin to the kitchen and motioned for her to take a seat while she got her some tissue and water.

“I’m sorry for how I acted…to you, Rafael, and Tony especially. I want my, our child, to have their father.”

“Do you know what you’re having?”

“A girl.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ve always loved Tony. I loved Jay but the reason it never worked cause I’ve only ever really been in love with one person my whole life.”

“Have you ever told him that?”

“I don’t know how to be that vulnerable.”

“You don’t have a choice once this baby comes. It’s not about you anymore. This baby comes first. Before you and my brother.”

“I know that.”

“Do you?”

“I’m learning that.”

“Does Bunny know you’re pregnant?”

“God no. She’s the last person I would ever go to for advice on anything…unless I needed drugs.”

“Erin.”

“You know what I mean.”

“You’re not doing this because your first court date is coming up, are you?”

“I swear I’m not. I want…a family. I want our child to have a family.”

“Stay right here,” Izzy told her as she walked out to go talk to Rafael.

Tony showed up about 30 minutes later. Rafael just told him to come over to discuss the case, he didn’t tell him Erin was there, however.


	114. Chapter 114

“Professor?”

“What can I help you with…Sergeant?” He asked as he looked up from his desk to see his wife standing in his doorway.

“Well, I knew you had time before your next class and even though I don’t have Carmen to spy for me anymore, I’m well aware that you haven’t lost your habit of skipping meals so…”

“You brought me lunch,” he smiled as he took the brown bag from her.

“Gotta keep your strength up after all.”

“Well, that is very kind of you, mi amor.”

“I do what I can,” she shrugged.

“Professor Barba? Oh, I’m sorry to interrupt…”

“Not at all. Jacob Wallace this is my wife…”

“Sergeant Barba, of course,” the young guy said as he shook her hand. “The Professor has told us about some of the toughest cases you guys worked together over the years.”

“He exaggerates,” she joked. “You must the god-send TA I’ve heard so much about.”

“If I can win even half the cases he ever did, I will feel accomplished.”

“Well, just stick with him, he’s got a lot to teach.”

“Here are those copies you asked for, Professor.”

“Great, thanks, Jacob.”

“Have you had lunch?”

“I’m just heading to grab something real quick cause I have other things to get done, Sergeant.”

“It’s Izzy and here. Do you like pastrami?”

“Love it,” he laughed.

“Everything but tomatoes, hope you don’t mind.”

“You don’t have to give me your lunch.”

“Nonsense. I can pick something up on my way back to the precinct.”

“Take it, Jacob. My wife isn’t one to share food,” Rafael laughed.

“Thank you, so much, really…Izzy.”

“No problem. Don’t let him work you too hard. He tends to forget that if he’s skipping lunch, it doesn’t mean his assistant should, too.”

“Elizabeth.”

“I’m kidding. It was nice to meet you, Jacob.”

“You, too, Izzy. Pardon me if I’m being forward but you have a keeper, Professor,” he laughed.

“Trust me, I know. That’s why I’ve kept her as long as I have. Go, enjoy your lunch.”

“Yes, sir.”

“That was nice of you.”

“Eh, the more I thought about it, I’m in a burrito kind of mood all of a sudden. No sense in wasting a perfectly good sandwich or risk Carisi stealing it. So, what are your plans after your last class?”

“I gotta swing by Mami’s and pick up some stuff she found of Abuelita’s she thought you and the girls would like to have.”

“I have Abuelita’s wedding and engagement rings. I don’t need anything.”

“I don’t know. Mami was going through the closet in one of their extra bedrooms and just found some stuff. There’s some pictures, too, that she already has.”

“Okay.”

“What about you?”

“Well, after all this with Stone’s sister…we’re kind of enjoying the reprieve we’re getting right now.”

“You know it never lasts.”

“Don’t jinx us, Rafa. And I overheard Liv and the Chief talking that Adam Ruzek might be coming and working with us for a little while.”

“Really? Why?”

“Some problems in CPD or Intelligence. I need to call Dawson and see what he can tell me. I don’t if it’s because of Al getting killed or what. It’s a mess is all I know.”

“He’s the one that you and Fin refer to as the ‘smart mouth teenager’, right?”

“One in the same. If anyone was coming, I would rather it be Dawson or Atwater.”

“Maybe it won’t be so bad.”

“I’ll tell Liv to put him with Nick.”  
_______________________________________  
“Mami? It’s me!” Rafael called out as he opened the door with his key to Lucia & Bill’s apartment. “Mami?”

He walked a little further inside.

“Mother!”

“Oh my god, Raf!!!” She said as she covered herself and Bill did the same.

“Oh my…I-I-I gotta get out of here.”

He had never in his lifetime walked in on his parents (at least that he could remember) when he was a kid but to walk in on his mother and step father on their couch in the middle of the afternoon? 

He couldn’t shut the door or get out of the building fast enough to suit him. He walked as fast as he could a few blocks away before sending for an Uber to pick him up and take him home.  
_______________________________  
“Did you hear me? Raf? Rafael?”

“Huh? What?”

Izzy noticed he seemed tense, almost agitated at dinner. “You okay?”

“Yeah! Why?”

“Calm down, Dad, jeez,” Rory told him.

“I’m just not that hungry,” he said as he got up from the table.

“He doing okay?” Cami asked.

“Yeah, he never refuses eggplant parm,” RJ added.

“Maybe he bad last class. I have no idea. Just eat, guys. Anyways, Ella when will you find out if you made the basketball team?”

“Friday.”

“Don’t be too nervous. I’m sure you made the team.”

“I hope so. Cami what about cheerleading tryouts?”

“Please, Mom. I have no worries.”

“But when are they?”

“Next Thursday.”

“I don’t care that you’re a Senior, you still need to be practicing.”

“I know, Mom. I’m gonna work on my routine later.”

“I hate school.”

“Why do you hate school, Matteo? You’re in the 4th grade now.”

“Yeah and it’s too easy.”

“Lord,” Rory muttered.

“Well it is. I’ve known this stuff since last year. They could at throw something harder at me.”

“It’s only September. Be careful what you wish for, son,” Izzy laughed.

After they had finished eating, it was Cami and Rory’s night to do the dishes.

Rafael was staring at the pendulum on his desk swinging back and forth. It was like the sound of the metal balls clinking were the only thing he was concentrating on.

“Rafa?”

“Huh?”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m just tired.”

“You sure? You seemed kind of edgy at dinner.”

“Yeah, I’m good. I think I’m gonna take my shower.”

“Oh, okay. Well, you didn’t eat much at dinner so there’s leftovers if you get hungry lately.”

“Thanks.”  
_________________________________  
For a few days, he seemed distant, out of sorts, just not himself. Lucia had stopped by since Izzy was off one afternoon, mainly cause Izzy called her.

“So, what’s my favorite daughter in law needing to talk to me about?”

“Okay. This isn’t easy. I don’t know how to even ask this…”

“Izz just ask me,” she smiled.

“Rafael told me that you always knew when Miguel was messing around on you.”

“Yeah?”

“How? I mean how did you know?”

“Well, the smell of another woman’s perfume was a huge tell. He wouldn’t eat, he wouldn’t want to do anything with me, he’d be real distant. Why do you ask?”

“I…uh…Rafael’s been acting like that lately,” she said as tears filled her eyes.

“Rafi would never do that to you. You know that,” Lucia told her softly as she took her hand.

“He won’t talk to me. He won’t even kiss me.”

“When did this start?”

“About 3 days ago.”

“I might know what the problem is.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. That was the day he came by and was supposed to get that stuff of Mama’s…”

“Which he didn’t show up with,” Izzy interrupted.

“Mami. What, uh, what brings you by here?”

“You can’t kiss your wife because you saw me and your step dad having sex?”

Izzy’s tears quickly dried up when Lucia dropped that bomb.

“Look at me.”

“Kind of hard to, Mami. I’ve already seen too much of you…and Bill for that matter.”

“Rafael Eduardo Barba look at me.”

He finally met his mother’s eyes but only halfway.

“Now, look, I’m sorry you walked in and seen…that but you’re an adult. You should know that we…”

“Ah, ah, ah!! I don’t want to hear anymore.”

“I forgot that you said you were coming by that afternoon and I apologize but I’m not going to apologize to still enjoy…”

“Mom!! You want to hear about the things your daughter in law does to me?”

“Rafa!”

“No but grow up. You’ve had Izzy scared to death that you were turning into your father and running around on her.”

“I’d never…”

“Well, what the hell is she supposed to think when you’re acting like he used.”

“Sorry.”

“Now, I am 63 years old and I am allowed to enjoy sex, just like you are.”

“I get it, Mami. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, you don’t owe me the apology.”

By this time, Izzy was trying not to laugh as he turned to apologize to her.

“I walked in on my parents when I was 17. It’s not that big a deal. I mean, it’s not something I want to see again. Maybe that’s why I waited so long to lose my virginity,” she started to ponder out loud.

“And have all of your kids not walked in on you at some point?”

“Nothing they’ll ever remember and need therapy for.”

“No but I can still hear you guys some nights,” Cami said as she came in from school.

“Go to your room, Camila.”

“Just saying,” she laughed as she headed upstairs.

“See? It happens and yes, there were a few times you walked in on me and your father but obviously you’re too young to remember.”

“Fine. Can we just not discuss it anymore? I don’t like to think about my 17-year-old daughter having sex let alone my mother.”

“Well, the upside is, you don’t have to worry about me getting pregnant.”

“Not funny, Mami.”


	115. Chapter 115

“So, everything’s lined out and you didn’t have to court so that’s good,” Izzy told her brother as she poured him a drink.

“Yeah but you know, I’m not just letting her back in my life. I want to be in my daughter’s life.”

“And there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“You think I can do this?”

“Be a Dad? Of course, Tony. I think you’re not giving yourself enough credit. You always took care of me.”

“But we’re the same age, technically you’re older than me actually.”

“Only by a few minutes. But you’ve always been a wonderful uncle.”

“Really?”

“Of course.”

“Rafi said you guys have been having trouble with Matty when it comes to school. I thought he liked to learn.”

“He does. He just doesn’t feel like he’s learning anything new. I mean, he’s only in the 4th grade and already not feeling challenged?”

“Remember when we were in the 5th grade and there was talk of moving me a grade ahead?”

“Yeah cause you were better at Math than me,” Izzy laughed.

“Ma wouldn’t let that happen cause she wasn’t splitting us up but maybe that might be worth looking into.”

“We’re not exactly dealing with ‘Young Sheldon’ here, Tony.”

“No, I know but still, he’s too damn smart for his own good.”

“Look at your husband. He damn near aced his SATs and the LSATs.”

“I know.”

“There’s my gorgeous wife,” Rafael said as he came in and placed a kiss on her cheek.

“Blech. You two still make me sick.”

“Are you drinking my scotch, Rossetti?”

“Maybe, Barba.”

“If you want to keep drinking it then zip the lip.”

“So, sorry, brother in law. Hey, man, thanks again for your help with all this stuff with Erin.”

“Yeah, no problem. So, I need a favor, mi amor.”

“What’s that?”

“Would you possibly consider being a guest speaker in one of my classes next week?”

“Which class?”

“Gender Violence, Law, and Social Justice.”

“And that is your Tuesday and Thursday 1:00 class?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Uh, sure,” she smiled. “What do you want me to talk about?”

“Of all the cases you’ve dealt with violence toward women in your career, take your pick.”

“Oh, I get homework, now?”

“We discuss sexual crimes and everything.”

“I’ll figure out something.”

“Come on, Tony. I need your signatures on some more paperwork.”

“Seriously?”

“It’s child custody. You’re gonna be doing this until your daughter is 18.”

“Fine.”  
___________________________________  
“Hey, Ruzek. How you fitting in?”

“Uh, not too bad, Sergeant,” he answered with a nod.

“Well, stick with Nick. You can learn a lot from him.”

“Actually, I thought I’d put him with you.”

“What, Liv?”

“I think he’d learn more with you, no offense to Nick, but you’ve been here a long time.”

“Uh, okay.”

“Come talk to me,” Liv said as she motioned toward her office.

“Carisi and I work just fine, Lieu.”

“I know but Ruzek isn’t going to be here long. He just needed a break from CPD and your father in law worked out this deal.”

“So, I’m getting punished for his decision?”

“Not at all. With all your experience in SVU, you might be a better partner for Ruzek.”

“What about Fin?”

“I’m putting him back with Amanda.”

“Okay, fine.”

“Just let him learn.”

“Okay. You realize he hit on me once before,” Izzy laughed.

“I think you’re safe,” Liv chuckled.  
______________________________________  
“Hey, good work, Sarge.”

“Thanks, Adam. My kids were in that school. I mean, I am so lucky they didn’t get hit.”

“That poor kid, man. I mean bringing a hunting rifle to school? This was about his father. I still can’t believe he was found not guilty. You know, not for nothing, but Stone wasn’t the greatest in Chicago.”

“He had some big shoes to fill, Ruzek.”

“Your husbands?”

“His fathers, in more ways than one actually.”

“Yeah, I heard. I swear shit just rained down on Chicago and NYC at the same time.”

“I hated to hear about Al.”

“You know, rumors have circulated that Erin had knowledge of what really happened.”

“If she did, she’s never told me.”

“Still, Al didn’t deserve what happened to him.”

“No, he didn’t.”

“Are you okay?” Ruzek asked when noticed tears in Izzy’s eyes.

“I…uh…this job just never gets any easier and I can’t shake the fact the shooting happened at my kids school. My girls were in there.”

“Hey, come here. It’s okay. Just be glad they’re safe,” Adam said as he hugged her. 

“You’re right, Ruzek. Thank you. What do you say, we pack this up for the night?”

“Sounds good. Could I buy you a drink maybe, just to take the edge off before you go home?”

“Raincheck? I just want to get home.”

“Sure.”

She didn’t know it but Rafael had come to get her and saw her in Ruzek’s arms and left. Just as she started for the elevator Amanda text her, pleading her to come to Long Island City.

She text Rafael and told him she was going to meet Rollins real quick and she’d be home as soon as possible. She thought maybe Amanda found something on the case.  
_________________________________________  
“What am I gonna do, Izz?”

“I don’t know, Amanda.”

“What am I thinking? Having another baby by a different man? I always thought that when or if I got pregnant again, I’d at least be in a committed relationship or even married.”

“Amanda I don’t know what the right answer is here.”

“I’m not looking for answers, Izz. Just someone one to talk to. All I know is, if I was back home, the choice would be a lot easier. There'd be no choice,” she sniffled. “I mean do I even want another baby?”

“Give me your phone.”

“What?”

“Just unlock it and give it to me,” Izzy said as she held out her hand.

“That's playing dirty.”

“I distinctly remember when you showed that to me,” Izzy said as she showed Amanda a video of Jesse saying “Mama” for the first time. “You told me that was the best moment of your life. This is your decision to make alone, and I will defend to the death your right to make it.”

“Thank you,” Amanda smiled.

“Either way, I’m right behind you. So will everyone else be.”

“Do me a favor.”

“I’m not going to tell anyone, just like I didn’t with Jesse.”

“Thank you.”

“Okay, I really need to get home.”

“Sorry I…”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Can you tell Aunt Izzy ‘bye’, Jesse?”

“Bye-bye, Aunt Izzy.”

“Bye, beautiful. I’ll see you tomorrow, Amanda.”  
_______________________________________  
“No bullshit, Ruzek. I did not…”

“He was scared to death you were gonna kick him in the balls, Izz.”

“Her name’s Elizabeth,” Rafael told Adam curtly as they had all went out one night.

“How about Sergeant? That work, Barba?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Rafa,” Izzy whispered as she squeezed his thigh. He just sort of looked at her while taking a drink of his scotch.

Things hadn’t been the best with them since late September and their 44th birthday’s were just a few days. They seemed further apart than ever. Yeah, she was spending a lot of time at work but Liv had been dealing with some behavior problems from Noah and having to take off more than usual.

He had even made snide comments about Ruzek at home. He was in New York and only knew the squad and Erin, who was 7 months pregnant. So, he would occasionally text Izzy. It was always friendly, never flirty.

“So, how’s Columbia treating you?”

“Pretty good, Carisi. I really like it.”

“Whoa, you like your job?”

“I liked my job as a prosecutor.”

“Jack told me not to get too comfortable in your office,” Stone laughed as he took a drink of his beer.

“Ignore him,” Rafael chuckled. “Nick you ready for me to kick your ass?”

“Excuse me? I think since our kids are dating you should let me win one?”

“Why?”

“Please. You know good and hell well in a few years, Cynthia will be taking Zara to get birth control because of your son.”

“I never did and we never had any accidents. We always used condoms.”

“I never stopped you from getting on birth control,” Rafael told his wife with a hint of asshole in his voice.

“I was…I was just saying…”

“Come on, Amaro. Fin and Mike are done,” he said as he basically pushed his wife aside to get up.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, Liv. Mid-terms have been getting to him.”

“Well, I’m gonna get home. I feel guilty enough being gone two hours from Noah.”

“He’ll be fine, Liv.”

“Thanks, Izz.”

Stone and Carisi went to join the rest of the guys while Adam hung back with Izzy.

“You okay, partner?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, Adam.”

“You can always talk to me if you need to.”

“I appreciate that,” she smiled. “Why don’t we go join the guys?”

“I think I’m gonna cut out, actually.”

“Okay, well, safe home.”

“See you in the morning…Sarge,” he told her with a mock salute.

“Hey, sister in law.”

“Hey, Mike.”

“How are you doing?”

“Good. You?”

“Not bad. Being Lieutenant of Hate Crimes isn’t too bad.”

“Not as dangerous as JTTF.”

“I think that’s how Alice was able to get pregnant so quick after I transferred. Took the stress off of her.”

“How much longer till you find out what you’re having?”

“Three weeks. I’m so nervous.”

“You’ll be fine, Dodds.”

“Think so?”

“Am I gonna have to hold your hand like I have my brother’s,” she teased. “You’ve been a great uncle in the few short years you’ve been in our lives.”

“Thanks. Oh, and Alice loves that ginger candy you recommended to her.”

“I had morning sickness well through my second trimester with Rory. Those were a godsend.”

“She said it’s like ginger ale in candy form,” Mike laughed.

“You ready to go?”

“Now?”

“Yeah, now,” Rafael said with a demanding tone.

“Sure, I guess.”

“You guys mind if I share a car with you? I need to get home myself.”

“Not at all, Mike. Come on.”  
____________________________________  
The whole ride to their house, Rafael just talked to Mike.

Another night, they went to sleep with their backs to each other. Well, Rafael went to sleep but Izzy stayed up watching DVR’d “Black-ish” when her phone buzzed.

Adam Ruzek: You okay?  
Izzy: Yeah, I’m good.  
Adam Ruzek: You sure? You didn’t seem like it at the bar.  
Izzy: I’m good, partner. I promise.

She had gotten up to go to the bathroom when her phone buzzed again and Rafael wasn’t asleep like she thought.

Adam Ruzek: I’m not going to lie but I have been attracted to you for a long time and I really think Rafael takes you for granted.

He heard Izzy coming back and laid her phone back where it was.

Izzy: I’m flattered, really, but it’s not like that at all, Adam. We’ve both been under a lot of stress. He just gets sort of snippy like that when he’s stressed.  
Adam Ruzek: If you say so but every time I’ve been around you guys, he acts like a complete dick, especially to you. You’re too special to settle for that kind of shit.  
Izzy: Adam, I really do appreciate it but I love him and nothing will ever change that.  
Adam Ruzek:…………………………………………………..

Izzy finally put her phone and got comfortable.

“Did you fuck him?” She heard her husband ask.

“What?”

“Did you fuck Ruzek?”

“Where is this coming from?”

“I see you two together.”

“And we act like I do with Carisi, Fin, Nick and Mike for that matter.”

“Do you want to fuck him?”

“Rafael you can’t be serious.”

“You’re not answering my question, Elizabeth.”

“No! I want to fuck you but you’ve been pushing me away for nearly a month!”

“You’re gonna tell me that a guy at least 10 years younger than you showing you attention isn’t making you the least bit curious?”

“Curious about what?”

“What it would be like with someone else? You said it yourself that this whole ‘one partner thing sucks sometimes’.”

“Oh my god, I meant that as a joke! Like when Lily said it to Marshall on ‘How I Met Your Mother’. In fact I used her exact words!”

“You’re gonna tell me that you don’t want to experience someone else’s dick?”

“No and right now, I don’t want to experience yours!!”

“Where are you going?”

“To your favorite hiding spot, the guestroom,” she said as she gathered her pillow and phone.

“Yeah, go in there so you can text your boyfriend.”

She just slammed the door behind her without saying anything.


	116. Chapter 116

Ruzek went back to CPD a week later but things still weren’t right in the Barba household. Izzy still couldn’t believe how Rafael acted. She had moved back to their bed but there was more than enough room for them not to touch other.

Rory was helping her mother cook dinner as they listened to music from Izzy’s phone come through the Bose in their kitchen.

Rafael came in and picked up her phone, changing the song to The Pretenders and took his wife’s hand without saying anything.

Rory walked out leaving her parents alone. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“Being jealous of Ruzek.”

“Why would you ever…”

“You think you’re the only one that worries about their looks? Look at my gut? Adam is fit and in shape.”

“And how many times do I have to tell you I love your belly?”

“What about my ‘moobs’?”

“You do not have man boobs,” Izzy laughed.

“Please. I’m starting to look like Jack Nicholson.”

“No. you’re not. You work out. You have pecs.”

“Maybe twice a week. I still have this ridiculous nipple piercing and I’m 44.”

“Who cares?”

“You don’t?”

“God, Raf, you get so much better looking the older you get. Maybe you don’t have a 6 pack anymore but I could care less. I love snuggling to your belly.”

“Thank you, mi amor.”

“No thanks needed. And when I said that thing about the one partner thing…”

“You were making a joke. I get it. It does kind of suck that we can’t play ‘I never’,” he laughed.

“Right?! If we did, the squad would know more than they need to about us.”

“I have a feeling they know a lot as it is.”

“Maybe,” she shrugged as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Listen you want me to talk to you about stuff then you have to do the same with me.”

“You got it, cariño. I’m sorry.”

“Why did you get so jealous over Ruzek?”

“I saw him hugging you once and any time I would come to the precinct, you two always seemed too close. Then I read the message he sent you about being attracted to you. If I’m taking you for granted tell me.”

“You’re not. Honey he’s a kid. He doesn’t know what a real relationship is about. He’s been engaged like 3 times. And if you would’ve read what I told him after that, about my love for you would never change, you’d see he never responded. I think he took the hint.”

“Oh.”

“You and me, we’re what’s real, guapo.”

He smiled before kissing her. "Now, finish the potatoes."

"Already bossing me around?"

"You ran my help out."

"Well, excuse me for wanting to dance with my wife," he chuckled as he rolled up his sleeves.  
___________________________________________  
“Good morning, Gentlemen,” Izzy smiled as she walked into the precinct the next morning.

“Uh-oh.”

“What, Nick?”

“I know that look on your face. Take it everything’s okay with and the Professor.”

“It is…more than okay.”

“I can’t say I blame him getting jealous over Ruzek.”

“Oh, yeah, you did a few years ago.”

“He thinks he can have any woman he wants. He would’ve went after Rollins again if she wasn’t pregnant.”

“Speaking of,” Carisi started.

“Speaking of what?” 

“Come on, Sarge.”

“What, Carisi?”

“Amanda. Who’s is it?”

“If she wants you to know, then she’ll tell you.”

“She won’t tell you either, huh?” Fin asked.

“Oh, I know but it’s not my secret to tell.”

“You guys know Izzy’s a steel trap. Don’t even bother,” Nick laughed. “Can you tell us where Olivia is?”

“She’s working with her trainer this morning.”

“She’s still not taking the fact she got winded a few weeks ago real well, huh?”

“Not really, Fin.”

“No one expects her to be Wonder Woman.”

“She does.”

“Everything going okay with Noah?”

“As far as I know.”  
____________________________________________  
“Screw this,” Amanda said as she and Izzy watched Carisi and Fin question a suspect. “Get on the floor.”

“What?” Gina Goodrich asked.

“Get on the damn floor,” Amanda told her as she pulled the chair out from under Gina, causing her to fall to the floor. “You feel empowered yet? How's this? Huh? How about now?” She asked as she put her foot on her.

“Amanda! Stop!”

“What? She wants to feel demeaned? I'll demean her.”

“It's gonna be a lot worse in prison, Sergeant”, Carisi asked.

“Your husband told us about the money you gave Arlo,” Fin told Gina as he and Izzy picked her up off the ground. 

“Gina Arlo is a con man,” Izzy told her.

“No.”

“You know, he took a lot more than money from you, too, didn't he? Didn't he?”

“Stop, Amanda.”

“Did you kill Vicky?” Carisi asked Gina.

“I just did what my lord told me to do.”

“So, you did kill her?” Izzy asked.

“I just put blood on Brad's pants and sneakers.”

“Okay. Who gave you the blood? Where did you get the blood?”

“Lilah.”

“Why?”

“Because Vicky had enough. She was gonna leave us. She was gonna betray Arlo.”  
___________________________________________  
Izzy found Amanda in the breakroom, eating a salad, leaving Fin and Carisi to finish with Gina.

“Your behavior was unacceptable,” she told her as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

“When I was growing up, I had a TV in my room. "Family Ties" was my favorite. Alex P. I really, really liked him. And I would turn the volume all the way up so I couldn't hear what was going on downstairs, the screaming, the cussing. We were not the Keatons.”

“Well, newsflash: Nobody's family is.”

“My mom had this vase It wasn't expensive, but she really loved it. And he threw it at her. It shattered into a million pieces. And that was right before he beat the crap out of her.”

“I'm so sorry. I didn't know.”

“The thing is, I wasn't mad at him. I was so mad at her. You know, how? How…how could she let him?”

Izzy just stood against the counter, stirring her coffee but still hadn’t taken a drink.

“I’m sorry I was out of line. Did Gina at least flip on Arlo?”

“Just on the blackmail and get this. That brand we saw on the girls ‘AHM’ stands for ‘At His Mercy’.”

“Lovely.”  
_____________________________________  
“So, what are you going to say?”

“I don’t know, Izz. I mean, I’d have my own room, so would Jesse, and the new baby. I mean no strings attached. He treats me pretty great, I have to admit. I’m just not used to being pampered like you are,” Rollins laughed before taking a bite of her burger.

“Well, maybe you should be. I mean this isn’t just your baby, it’s his, too. I know that it’s complicated, believe me. But if Dr. Al wants to be involved, he wants to help out, that’s not such a bad thing.”

“Maybe. What’s going on with Tony and Erin?”

“Well, the baby is due any day now really. Everything’s drawn up that she has to let him have visitation. Rafael and Nick helped him put together a nursery in his apartment last weekend.”

“Meaning they drank a bottle of scotch and you ended up doing most of the work yourself?”

“More so I had to go behind them and make sure everything was put together properly,” Izzy laughed. “Surprisingly it was.”

“I guess if they can make it work somehow, I can do the same.”

“Don’t make your decision based on those two. Think about you, Jesse, Frannie, and the new baby.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”


	117. Chapter 117

“This place is really nice,” Liv whispered to Izzy as they all dressed their best at Dr. Al Pollack’s invitation for dinner so he could get to know Amanda’s friends.

“Come on, Liv. You act like you’ve never been to a 5-star restaurant before.”

“Well, I haven’t,” Cynthia laughed. “Am I dressed okay?”

“Izzy took you shopping, didn’t she?”

“Yes, Benson.”

“Then you’re fine,” she chuckled.

“Where the hell are Nick and Rafael?”

“They’ll be here, Izz.”

“You really invited Stone as your date?”

“It’s not a date, Sergeant. I just didn’t want to be the odd person out,” Benson answered. “I mean there’s you and Barba, Nick and Cynthia, Fin and Melinda. Carisi isn’t coming so…”

“Hey, I’m not judging.”

“Trust me, we’ll be going home in different directions after this dinner.”

“So, Olivia, Amanda tells me that you’ve been with SVU for 20 years now?” Dr. Al asked.

“Yes, I have, Al. Been on the force 25 but most of it has been spent in SVU.”

“Well, she speaks very highly of you and you as well, Sergeant.”

“Thank you.”

“And your husband is a Professor?”

“Columbia Law, yes. He spent about 21 years in the DA’s office, that’s including his internships but that’s all he’s known.”

Nick and Rafael were brought to the table once they arrived.

“Sorry we’re late,” Rafael said as he took the seat next to his wife and Nick sat next to Cynthia.

Amanda introduced Al to Rafael and Nick after they sat down.

Izzy could tell Fin was not impressed by the Cardiologist one bit. None of them really were. It didn’t help they knew his history before Amanda found out she was pregnant.

The ladies ended up excusing themselves to go to the bathroom after a few drinks before the food arrived, leaving the guys alone with Dr. Pollack.

They mainly made small talk until they saw Al blatantly check out a waitress at a table not far from them.

“I’m sorry, did we step into ‘The Wedding Singer’?” Rafael scoffed.

“There’s no harm in looking. Come on, Professor. All those hot co-eds at Columbia and you’re going to tell me you haven’t looked or even fantasied about one of them?”

“That would be a no,” he told him with a glare that could’ve killed Al where he sat. “I’ve been with my wife and only my wife for over 20 years. No one has, had, or will ever compare to her and I don’t appreciate your inference.”

“I didn’t mean any harm. I mean Amanda and I aren’t really dating.”

“So, that gives you the right to undress a waitress with your eyes while Rollins’ is in the bathroom?” Nick asked.

Stone and Nick both received a text from Fin: Shit is about to go down.

Peter Stone: My money’s on Barba.  
Nick Amaro: I second that.

“Look, guys, I’m human, okay? No harm, no foul?”

“Listen here, doc, we’re a family. And I ain’t talking about that ‘thin blue line’ shit. I’m talking this group of people you’re sitting with, WE are a family. We look out for each other, in more ways than one. You get what I’m saying without me having to say it?”

“Loud and clear, Fin,” he nodded.

“Good.”

“Everything okay?” Liv asked as they got back to the table.

“Just fine. Just a little bit of guy talk,” Stone answered.

The enjoyed their dinner and even dessert since Al had insisted on paying. Afterwards, Al and Amanda got in the Uber he had ordered.

“Anyone want to go get a drink at some place where we can relax?”

“I don’t think we’re dressed to relax, Fin,” Melinda laughed.

“We’ll just be the best looking people in the place.”

“We’d love to but we need to relieve our babysitter and by babysitter I mean our almost 18-year-old daughter, who apparently has a ‘life of her own’,” Rafael laughed. “And I got papers to grade anyways.”

“How about this weekend then? It’s been a while since we’ve all went out and done something.”

“Sure, Fin,” they all agreed.  
____________________________________________  
“Cami? You want to open the door?”

“Not really, Mom,” she sniffled.

“Come on.”

She turned her lock and opened the door.

“So, what happened?”

“He said he liked someone else. We were together almost 2 years and he told me he loved me.”

“I know, baby. It’s hard.”

“Why do boys suck?”

“I don’t know,” Izzy chuckled as she pushed her daughters blond hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear.

“You got lucky, huh?”

“Pretty much. I didn’t have a lot of boyfriends before your dad though.”

“Uncle Antonio.”

“Yeah and there were a couple of others. He was probably the only one that didn’t dump me cause I wouldn’t put out.”

“I regret ever being with Kevin.”

“You’re angry and upset right now but one day, you’ll look back on it and maybe without the regret.”

“Maybe. I just don’t want to look at him ever again.”

“Well, you can’t transfer schools now. It’s almost the end of the semester. You graduate in May.”

“I know. I’m just afraid that if I see him and this new girl, I might punch one of them.”

“It’s not worth it,” her mother laughed. “Besides, I’m sure there are plenty of boys at school who have been waiting for you and Kevin to break up to ask you out.”

“Think so?”

“You’re popular, you’re a cheerleader, and you look like me.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Cami laughed as she wiped her eyes.

“Tell you what, how about since I’m off tomorrow, I’ll let you stay home, we can lay in my bed, eat pizza and ice cream, and binge watch something on Netflix or Hulu?”

“I’d like that. Will Dad be okay with that?”

“I can handle him.”  
_____________________________________________  
The next day, they did just that. Cami wanted to watch “Friends” so they started with season 1.

“Dad said you used to make him watch this.”

“I never made him do anything. He liked it and he liked ‘Will and Grace’, too. He doesn’t like to admit it.”

“I’ve caught him laughing while watching ‘South Park’ when you’ve had to work late.”

“He has loved ‘South Park’ since it first came on,” Izzy laughed. “He likes people to think that because he’s so smart and so well read and educated that he doesn’t have a guy’s sense of humor but he always has. Him and your uncle used to be so gross. They would chase me and Aunt Erin out of our living room because we would get tired of hearing them.”

“What would they do?”

“Come on, you’re blond but you’re not stupid.”

“Ew!!!”

“They were disgusting. When I was pregnant with all of you though, I got my revenge though,” Izzy chuckled.

“Good. Why are guys like that?”

“I have no idea. I guess it’s something they’re born with. I mean look at your brothers.”

“RJ’s the worst.”

“He is definitely related to your Uncle Tony. Speaking of,” she said as she looked at her phone. 

“Adriana is so cute,” Cami gushed. “He’s really enjoying his paternity leave, huh?”

“Yeah, he is. About almost 10 years ago, he said he never planned on having kids.”

“Why won’t him and Aunt Erin just get married?”

“You know how teenage relationships are tough? Well adult relationships are even tougher.”

“You ever been afraid that you and Dad…would…you know…”

“Divorce? No. I know we’ve had our issues over the years. We both get jealous and insecure at times but there is not a man on this planet that could take me away from your dad.”

“It’s funny. I have maybe two friends that they’re parents aren’t split up. The rest of them come from broken homes. Jeannette is the product of a teenage pregnancy but like Kori, Rosie, Stephanie, they’re parents were only married a few years.”

“It’s a lot of work to stay married to the same person. Your dad and I have to work at our marriage every day.”

“Really? It doesn’t seem like it. You guys make it seem easy.”

“Somethings are easy for us but when it comes to the rough stuff, we have to put in the extra effort just to make it through the day. It doesn’t mean that our love for each other changes.”

“I get it. It doesn’t matter how much you love somebody, you have to be willing to do the work.”

“That’s right. We’ve had to work every day since we got together but it’s been worth it. Even with you bratty kids,” Izzy teased.

“Blame Dad for me.”

“Oh, trust me, I do," her mother replied with a small snicker.


	118. Chapter 118

“Hey, Rollins.”

“Oh, hey, Barba,” Amanda greeted Rafael as he walked into the precinct.

“My wife around?”

“Uh, no. She and Nick are talking to that doctor and his girlfriend again. What’s up?”

“I was just going to surprise her, maybe take her to lunch.”

“Aww, that’s sweet.”

“Yeah, well, since Cami turned 18, I can tell it’s getting to her that she’ll be leaving us soon.”

“I know Izzy said she was hoping to get into Wesleyan.”

“Yeah. I was shocked she didn’t apply to Harvard or NYU but she didn’t. Wesleyan, Brown, Vassar, and Cornell.”

“Wow. It doesn’t seem real for me that she’s about to go to college. I can’t imagine how you two must feel,” Rollins chuckled.

“You’ll be where we are one day. So, how are you doing?”

“Desk duty. How much fun can that be?”

“Besides that.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re new living arrangements.”

“Not bad. Still a bit of an adjustment. He’s good to Jesse.”

“What about you?”

“Well, I mean he can’t just show up in the middle of the day and take me to lunch but yeah.”

“Rollins you’ve been friends with my wife since you came here, what 8 years ago?”

“Something like that,” she smiled.

“You’re better than this. You’re better than him.”

“Did you wife put you up to this?” She asked as her blue eyes narrowed.

“Nope. I just know what I see.”

“Well, thanks, Barba. You know, when that intern was causing problems, I’m ashamed to say that I thought you were ever capable of cheating on your wife.”

“Eh, it’s okay,” he shrugged. “I am a man and I can see why you’d have that…view, I suppose.”

“Yeah but I shouldn’t have. I should’ve apologized to you.”

“No harm, no foul. Regardless of what happens with you and Dr. Pollack, you and your kids have a family and I don’t mean those hicks in Georgia,” he laughed as he sort of patted her arm.

“Thanks,” she chuckled. 

“Well, tell my wife I stopped by.”

“Will do.”  
___________________________________________________  
“So, explain to me again how you got three days detention, Junior.”

“Okay, so Tyler Roberts asked me what I had said to Gil in Spanish and then he said, ‘that’s weird you look white’. I said, ‘well, I guess technically I am white’. Then he said, ‘but you’re Spanish’. I told him that Spanish is a language, not just a nationality. Then he said, ‘Do you speak Spanish’ and I was like, ‘well, yeah’. Then he said, ‘So, you’re Mexican.’ And   
I told him, ‘no’. Then he says, ‘I don’t know what’s going on here’.”

“And then you said what? And don’t lie to me because it’s already on this paper I hold in my hand.”

“I told him what was going on was that he failed fucking social studies and he wasn’t very good at geography either.”

“Okay, look, I get it. People are ignorant but that doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to use that kind of language, especially since you’re only in the 8th grade.”

“Sorry, Dad. He just aggravated me. I mean it was so stupid. His parents are probably Trump supporters. I shouldn’t have to explain the color of my skin or why I speak Spanish.”

“Junior I understand but you’re not going without punishment.”

“Come on, I’ve got to spend an hour after school for the rest of the week which means I’ve got to miss practice.”

“Uh-huh and I’ve already talked to Coach Rosenthal. You’ll be missing practice next week as well.”

“Dad come on.”

“A car will pick you up after school and then you will come to my office and help Jacob with whatever he needs help with. ¿Entiendes?”

“I’ll be benched and the season’s almost over.”

“Sorry but that’s it. I made Rory do the same thing when she got suspended.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“It’s not like you’re missing football anyways. Just hockey.”

“I guess.”  
______________________________________  
“So, Ceci was reunited with her father?”

“Yeah,” Izzy answered her husband quietly as they laid in bed, watching a movie.

“Stone is gonna cut a deal with her?”

“As long as she testifies against Dr. Barron.”

“You know, sometimes, I kind of miss being in the DA’s office.”

“Really?”

“I like what I’m doing but I would’ve loved to have nailed that sick bastard to the wall. I mean, he dragged that poor girl down with him.”

“Well, at least she’s gonna get help to undo the damage he did to her all these years.”

“I mean my problem isn’t with the threesomes but with the fact girls were drugged. I mean whatever someone wants to do in the privacy of their own bedroom is fine but you don’t have to hurt people to do it.”

“Sounds like you’re wanting to come back.”

“I didn’t say that. I don’t know, maybe I just needed a break like Jack said.”

“Well, I for one wouldn’t mind seeing you behind that desk again.”

“Is that right?”

“Maybe even slipping under it.”

“I have a desk that you can do under now,” he smiled.

“Very true, Professor.”

“Ew can you guys at least shut the door before you start doing it?”

“What do you want, Camila?” Rafael asked in exasperation. They weren’t even really doing anything. It was a small kiss, nothing major.

“Can I borrow the car Friday night?”

“Your mother’s brand new Armada. Did you hit your head on the way downstairs?”

“Can I borrow the Tahoe then?”

“What for?”

“Me and my friends are wanting to go watch a movie in Brooklyn.”

“You can’t watch a movie in Manhattan?”

“There’s a couple movies actually.”

“Okay? I’m gonna need a little more.”

“The Alpine is showing ‘Legally Blonde’, ‘Sweet Home Alabama’, and ‘Legally Blonde 2’.” 

“And since when did you become such a big fan of Reese Witherspoon.”

“I’ve always liked those movies, Dad. So, can I?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Come on, please?”

“How do I feel about whining?”

“I know, I know.”

“Look, we have a meeting with Matty’s principal and teacher tomorrow. Ask me after that.”

“Okay, thanks, Dad. You want me to shut the door?”

“Please! Jesus. Why is it every time I try to kiss you, a kid walks in the room?”

“You wanted a lot of kids, remember,” Izzy teased her husband.

“You did, too. We were young and dumb obviously,” he laughed. “Love makes you do stupid things.”

“It's made us do a lot of stupid things over the years. So, are you ready for this tomorrow?”

“Not at all. What else could they possibly tell us after all the conferences we’ve already had this year?”


	119. Chapter 119

“So, you’re saying you think it would be best if he moved onto the 6th grade instead of the 5th next year?”

“Mr. Barba his test scores are extraordinary and while his grades have been outstanding, the work is not challenging enough. This is strictly your decision, though. If you don’t think he’s ready then we can just move him to the 5th grade without issues.”

“What do you think,” Rafael asked his wife.

“Well, he does read and understand way more than a soon to be 5th grader should be able to. His IQ is 155 at 10 years old.”

“If it proves to be too much, we can always move him back to 5th grade.”

“Well, if my wife agrees with it then I don’t see a problem.”

“Then it’s settled.”

“Is that all you needed with us?”

“Yes, sir. Thank you both for your time.”

They started walking out when Izzy’s phone rang. “Okay, Carisi, I’ll meet you guys there.”

“What’s going on?”

“Amanda’s in labor. Carisi is taking her to the hospital.”

“Okay. I have class in 30 minutes. Keep me updated. Love you.”

“Love you, too,” she told him with a quick kiss before hailing a cab.  
______________________________________________  
“I feel a little light-headed.”

“You’re having a baby, Amanda. It’s normal,” Izzy told her as Carisi pushed her to the maternity ward.

“We don’t have a room available just yet so just hang tight,” the doctor told her.

“Okay. Hey, what about the epidural or a lobotomy?”

“You’re doing okay,” Carisi told her as he rubbed her shoulders.

“Just don’t leave me,” she replied as she grabbed his hand. “Either of you.”

“We won’t,” Izzy assured her.

Just then, Al came through the doors. “Amanda?”

“What are you doing here?”

“The hospital called and told me you’re in labor. Thank you for being here, Carisi, right?”

“Yeah. Don’t mention it.”

“Okay, second babies can be a surprise and this is not how I wanted this to happen.”

“What do you mean?” Amanda asked him.

“Before the baby gets here, I want to make an honest woman out of you.”

Carisi and Izzy just sort of looked at each other as if to say, “What the fuck is about to happen?” as Al got on his knee in front of Amanda’s wheelchair and asked her to marry him.

“Oh, I can’t not look at it,” Izzy whispered as she saw the ring.  
______________________________________  
“He did what?” Liv asked when Izzy told her the news.

“She said she’d think about it. I’m gonna go back after a while if that’s okay.”

“Sure. Nick and Fin can handle this. I forgot to ask, how’d the meeting go with Matty’s principal?”

“Uh, they want to move him to 6th grade instead of 5th.”

“Really? Wow. I mean I knew he was smart, but to skip a grade? That’s impressive.”

“You’re telling me.”

“Are you going to let him?”

“We might as well. I mean it’s not gonna hurt anything. He’s too smart for his own good as it is.”

“Much like his father.”

“Exactly.”

“How’s your brother doing?”

“He’s good. Erin had to go to California for an assignment so he’s had to take some time off to take care of Adriana. My mom and I have only been over to his apartment three times…each.”

“He’ll get it,” Liv chuckled. 

“That’s not counting the times Rafael has went to rescue him, too.”

They talked a little more about the case before Izzy left to go check on Amanda again.  
_____________________________________________  
Izzy was more than impressed with the suite Al had arranged for Amanda. She never had anything that nice.

“Hey, Izzy.”

“Hey, Al. I brought some bagels.”

“I knew I always liked you,” he laughed. “Again, thanks for getting her here.”

“I just met her here. Carisi did the hard work. Fin and Nick have both done it for me.”

“Well, I’ll leave you two alone for a little bit,” he smiled before walking out.

“How you feeling?”

“I’m fine and the baby’s fine.”

“And the proposal?”

“Well, I’ve never been proposed to before.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to say ‘yes’.”

“I live with him, Izz. I just want to be fair to my kids. I mean, Jesse sees Declan once a year, if that.”

“Amanda why don’t you just take this one step at a time?”

“I’m just afraid of doing this on my own.”

“When have you ever been alone with Jesse?”

“You sound like your husband and Fin,” Amanda chuckled.

Izzy’s phone started buzzing.

“Go. I know this case is…”

“I’ll be back, okay?”  
____________________________________________  
Amanda had rejected Al’s proposal and he left shortly after the baby was born. 

“She’s early but she’s healthy.”

“You did great, Rollins,” Carisi told her as he held Jesse.

“What’s her name,” Fin asked.

“Billie,” Amanda answered with a smile.

“Jesse what do you think of your little sister?” Carisi asked her.

“I love her,” she exclaimed.

“Where’s Al?” Izzy wondered.

“It’s just us. Just family,” Amanda answered as she looked at her friends as they stood around her bed.

Nick and Rafael came in shortly after.

“Uncle Rafa I have a baby sister.”

“I see that, Jesse. She looks like you did when you were a baby,” he told her as he scooped her up.

“No way.”

“Just like you.”

Everyone stayed, held the baby, and visited for a little bit before tapering off.  
___________________________________________  
“You know, we’ll probably have grandchildren by the time Billie is Cami’s age.”

“Don’t remind me, Rafa,” Izzy laughed as they walked home.

“Well, in just a few months, she’ll be off to Wesleyan, Rory will be starting her Senior year, the twins with be Freshman, and Matty is going into the 6th grade instead of 5th. We’ll be alone before we know it, cariño.”

“I know. I can’t believe it.”

“Where has the time gone?”

“I have no idea.”

“So, while it’s just us, Columbia has offered to extend my contract for another year.”

“And?”

“Well, Jack called the other day.”

“What did he want?”

“Wanted to know when I’d be ready to come back.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“What did you tell him?”

“I…uh…I honestly told him I’d think about it. Stone will have to move to a smaller office if I decide to come back.”

“I don’t think that’s what’s holding you back.”

“I don’t know. I mean, I’ve really enjoyed teaching. Jack even said though that I could continue to teach if I wanted, I’d just have a smaller case load.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

“Is there one with anything that I told you?”

“Not to me,” she smiled. “You do whatever makes you happy.”

“What makes us happy you mean.”

“True but at the end of the day, you’re the one that has to do the work.”

“I’m still thinking,” he shrugged.

“Did Jack give you a time limit?”

“A month.”

“And when do you have to have the Columbia contract signed?”

“By the end of the school year.”

“I think you already know what you’re going to do.”

“Think so?”

“I know you, Rafa. You always already have it in your head what you want to do but you won’t do anything until you know I’m behind you. Which I don’t know why cause I’ve always told you that I’ll support you, no matter what.”

“Yeah, I know. I still like to hear it I guess.”


	120. Chapter 120

“I can’t thank you guys enough for this,” Amanda said as she sat her last suitcase down in the guestroom.

“It’s not a problem, Amanda.”

“I know but I feel bad that Rory and Cami have to share a room…”

“It’s okay. Cami didn’t mind giving up her room for Billie.”

“It’s only for a few months…”

“Rollins will you stop?” Izzy laughed. “We’re happy to help. You wanted to get out of Al’s place and we have no problem with you guys being here until you can find a place.”

“Looks like Frannie and Oreo are getting a long.”

“Oreo will probably be heartbroken when you guys leave.”

“Aunt Amanda?”

“What’s up, Ella?”

“Dad told me to ask you if I could hold Billie.”

“Sure. I don’t see any problem with it,” she smiled.

“Dad! She said I could!” Ella called before heading back downstairs.

“So, is he seriously thinking about going back to the DA’s office?”

“He’s got a meeting with Jack on Monday. He still wants to teach, though. What he’s thinking about is teaching the fall semester, seeing if he can handle both, and go from there. Are you sure you want to come back Monday?”

“Yeah I have to get back to work or I’ll go crazy,” she laughed. “Don’t get me wrong, I love my girls but…”

“I get it. Trust me.”  
___________________________________  
“Think Stone is going to call on you?”

“I don’t know, Amanda. I mean…ah, Jesus! This shit is hot. Text Carisi and tell him to bring us some Starbucks would you?” Izzy said as they sat in the waiting room at the courthouse wondering if they would be called to testify in the case of Annabeth Pearl who had killed her husband.

“Brought a little treat,” Fin said as he came in with a pink box. “Anything but the jellies. I got some chocolate coconut ones for you, Izz.”

“Thanks, Fin. Carisi is bringing…”

“Son of a bitch. You guys couldn’t warn me?”

“I tried,” Izzy shrugged. “Carisi is bringing Starbucks.”

“Thank god. Anyone heard from Liv?”

“We were hoping you heard something,” Amanda told him.

“Well if she shows, she shows. If she doesn’t, Stone will be as hot as that cup of coffee in the floor.”

“It’s fucking hot in here.”

“Hell always is,” Carisi said as he came in with coffee for all of them. “This is wrong.”

“Don’t go all Liv on us, please,” Izzy told Carisi.

“Somebody has to.”

“And that ‘somebody’ is the one that interrogated her. Let’s let her handle it.”

“Look, man, we can only do our job,” Fin added.

“What, that's all this is to you?”

“Yeah. I get up in the morning and I get dressed. I come to the office. After that, I go home. At the end of the week, I get a check and the check clears. That's called a job.”

“This from the guy who flew to Cuba on his own nickel to catch a fugitive rapist,” Carisi said as he pointed at Fin. “You watched your husband shot and almost killed right in front of you, Sarge. And you, with that Labott girl…”

“Enough,” Amanda barked.

“Carisi, have a donut,” Izzy said as she went back to her phone.

Fin was called out first, shortly before Liv finally arrived.  
________________________________  
“80 grand a year and we get to decided who gets to spend the rest of their life in a cage? Excuse me, Lieu, I know you and the Sarge make more than that.”

“And worrying about it is still above my pay grade,” Izzy responded.

“But we do worry about it,” Liv countered.

“When Nick and I were on patrol back in ‘99, we took a dv call in Sheepshead Bay, Ellen and Craig Carter,” Izzy started. Neighbor had called complaining they were screaming and cursing all night. So, we show up, calm everybody down and do, you know, what we're supposed to do. And I'm looking at this guy and I can just see in his eyes. And he's got that smirk, you know? So, I take Ellen outside, and I tell her, ‘Look, you've gotta stand up for yourself’. I told her that she needed to leave this guy. But there's no signs of physical violence so that's all I can do. A month later, we get another call. The same house, same complaint. Only this time Craig is taking her head and bashing it against the wall, and she's dead. So, Amanda it isn’t that easy for someone to just walk out the door.”

Carisi was called to testify not long after that.

“You know I love you guys,” Amanda started, “And I respect the hell out of both you but sometimes, and don’t take this the wrong way, but you guys see victims where there aren’t any. Remember Paula Martin? She didn’t see herself as a victim but you two, Amaro, and Barba made sure AJ went to prison for two years.”

“And if you’ll remember, Amanda, he had knocked her out. He yelled at their son in front me and Izzy. Not just your variety getting on to your child but literally screamed at him. Just because it wasn’t always physical…”

“Yeah, I get that, Liv, but she didn’t want to leave. My mother…”

“Amanda I’m very sorry about what your father did to your mother but…”

“What would you know about, Izzy? You had the perfect family.”

“You think because my parents have been married 46 years that they didn’t fight, that Tony and I didn’t go through times when we worried about our parents splitting up cause he would sleep for days at the firehouse cause they were constantly fighting?”

“My mother didn't have to be a victim.”

“I'm not talking about your mother. I'm talking about you. Do you really think that your father beating the hell out of your mother in front of you didn't color your whole universe?”

“Sure it did. But not in the way you think. 'Cause I remember sitting in my room staring out the window after one of their knock-down drag-outs, and I remember looking out the window and there was a streetlamp, and it was the closest one was on the corner, so it was dark, eerie. And I sat there looking out, watching and waiting and praying for my daddy to come back. Uh, and the son of a bitch just beat the shit out of my mother, but I wanted him back home. I was petrified if he didn’t come back home, I’d end up weak like my mother.”

“Amanda, that's not a reason to hate your mother. Maybe it's time for you to come out from under that shadow,” Liv told her. “I know what it’s like to harbor hate and resentment toward your mother. Once I became one myself, I had to let that go.”

“Sergeant Barba? Part 33.”

“I’m coming,” she said as put her magazine down and headed to the courtroom.  
___________________________  
“How’d it go today?”

“Pretty sure Fin, Carisi, and my testimony pissed Stone off,” Izzy answered her husband. “He still doesn’t realize, after almost a year, that the truth comes in many colors. None of us lied.”

“Well, technically, you don’t know what they testified to.”

“True but what could they have said that I didn’t say? I mean, that shot to the groin? You and I both know that was personal.”

“Maybe.”

“Oh, don’t turn all Stone on me,” she groaned.

“I’m not. It’s just…there was no evidence of physical abuse.”

“But the gun…”

“I’ve seen your gun several times over the years, especially before we had kids and you’d leave it on the nightstand. Sometimes, it was the last thing I saw before going to bed at night. I never once thought of you ‘sending me a message’ when it sat in front of me during dinner.”

Amanda came in a little later.

“How’d it go?”

“Liv told the truth.”

“About?”

“About what Annabelle told her regarding killing her husband.”

“Well, she’s gone.”

“I just want to forget about this day. What about you, Izz?”

“I’ll get the whiskey.”

“Was Billie okay for you, Barba?”

“Her and Jesse both. The three of us had a good time today.”

“Thanks again for watching them for me.”

“No problem. My TA could handle my classes today.”

“Well, I’m going to meet your wife upstairs and have a much needed drink. If you need me…”

“Go. You’ve both had a rough day. Cami and Rory can help with Billie. Matty has Jesse occupied right now anyways.”

“Thanks again.”

“Yep,” he nodded.  
______________________________________  
“What do you think?” Amanda asked as she, Carisi, and Izzy looked at an apartment in Brooklyn.

“I like it.”

“The girls would each have their own room, there’s plenty of space for Frannie. I kind of fell in love with it when I saw it.”

“What number is this?”

“Lucky number 8,” she laughed.

“I really do like it, Rollins.”

“Yeah, me, too,” Carisi agreed. 

“The only thing is, it would be cheaper for me to buy it than to rent it.”

“How much do you need?”

“$7,000.”

“Amanda.”

“If I make a down payment of $10,000 my mortgage would be almost half of what the rent would be. I have part of it, Izzy.”

“$3,000?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll split it with you, Sarge.”

“You got that much money, Carisi?”

“I’m not exactly a high-roller.”

“He means he’s cheap,” Amanda laughed.

“Look, if you want to do this, I’d be more than happy to help you and the girls.”

“Yeah, I guess since Cami did get some scholarships, it wouldn’t kill my bank account.”

“Are you guys sure?”

Izzy and Carisi kind of looked at each other, making Amanda nervous.

“We’re family, right?”

“Carisi has a point. Let me get my checkbook.”


	121. Chapter 121

“How do I look?”

“Not like a man that has a daughter graduating high school,” Izzy smiled at her husband as she helped him fix his silver tie and matching pocket square.

“And you don’t look like a woman that has an 18-year-old daughter. God, you smell so…” he didn’t finish his sentence as he nuzzled her neck.

“Raf. Stop,” she giggled. “I don’t want to walk into a Catholic High School graduation with a fresh mark on my neck.”

“So, wear your hair down,” he smiled as he moved to her lips. His hands had an almost vice grip on her hips, causing her to moan softly into his mouth.

“Oh my god, seriously on my graduation day?”

“You know, when she goes off to Wesleyan, that is one thing I am definitely not going to miss,” Rafael told his wife before shooting a glare to his oldest daughter.

“Come on, you know I only have a limited amount of time to keep giving you guys hell for acting like you’re still in your 20s.”

“Well, if we hadn’t acted like that in our 20s, you wouldn’t be here.”

“Yes, I know, Dad. Are you serious that I’m not getting a car…”

“Camila we still have to pay for part of your tuition.”

“Fine. Do I look okay?”

“Of course, Princesa. Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I’ve been waiting on this day forever and now it’s here. I’m just…”

Rafael wiped her tears before hugging her. “Your mom and I were scared, too, but you are about to embark the greatest adventure of your life. You’re gonna have fun, meet new people, major in something you can’t possibly get a job in, and most importantly…you’re getting out of my house.”

“Rafa!” Izzy playfully scolded.

“I’m kidding,” he laughed as he squeezed Cami a little harder. “You’re gonna be fine. You have two of the smartest not too mention most good-looking parents ever. That in itself will get you far.”

The three of them kind of laughed before Cami finally pulled away from her dad. “I better go fix my make-up really quick.”

“Make sure your brothers and sisters are ready, please.”

“Sure, Mom,” she smiled.  
___________________________________________________  
“You’re serious?”

“You’re gonna need a mode of transportation around campus but we have rules,” Rafael told Cami before handing her the keys to her new 4-door Honda Civic.

“I figured that much,” she chuckled.

“Absolutely no drinking and driving.”

“I’m gonna tell you what your grandfather told me and your Uncle when got our first cars. This is replaceable, you are not,” her mother told her sternly. “I don’t want that phone call at 2 in the morning that you’ve been caught driving drunk, you’ve hurt someone because of it, or even worse, something has happened to you because of it.”

“Mom I know. I swear I won’t.”

“Okay.”

“Grades start falling, your mother and I will come pick it up.”

“Yes, sir.”

“You are the only one insured besides your mother and I so that means…”

“No one else can drive it. Got it, Dad. So, after dinner with everyone, can I go out tonight?”

“You’re not taking the car.”

“Dad!”

“Not tonight, Camila. You and your friends can take it out tomorrow.”

“After I get home?”

“After you get home?”

“Dad, I’m 18.”

“And until August, you still live by my rules. Not only that, we let you stay out on Prom Night. I will, however, extend your curfew, though.”

“To what?”

“2:00.”

“Seriously?!”

“I want you in this house at 2am. Not 2:01, not 2:15, not 6 in the morning.”

“I swear.”

“If something happens that you can’t make it…”

“I’ll call.”

“Okay. Now, come on. Everyone is waiting. A few surprise guests are going to be there as well.”

“Who?”

“It’s a surprise. They couldn’t make it to your graduation but they are at least coming to dinner.”

Cami couldn’t think of who it could be.  
_________________________________________________  
“Grandpa Don?!”

“Hey, there’s my girl,” Cragen said as he hugged Cami. “I have missed you. I have missed all of you,” he told Izzy’s kids. “I think though, I might have missed this one more,” he laughed as he hugged Izzy.

“It’s so good to see you, Captain.”

“It’s just Don now and thank you so much for inviting us. Sorry we couldn’t make it the graduation.”

“Force of habit. And it’s perfectly fine. You’re here now. And Eileen, so good to see you.”

“Izzy you do not look like you should have a child graduating high school,” she laughed as they hugged.

“Well, you guys are the first ones here, for a reason,” Izzy told them as they walked to the room they had rented since they knew everyone would be there.

“Did everyone see me and leave?”

“Munch.”

“Uncle John,” Rory squealed as she ran up to hug him.

“This is my day, Rory,” Cami said as she pushed her with her butt so she could hug John. “I’m so glad you’re here. Mom said you moved to Florida.”

“That’s where all my people move to after they retire.”

“Cops?”

“No, Jews,” he laughed. “It’s good to see all of you. Professor.”

“Just for a few more weeks, actually.”

“Don’t tell me you’re going back to the DA’s office.”

“Part time and I’ll still be at Columbia part time.”

“Ah, a renaissance man, indeed.”

“I try. Gonna be back and forth but I think I can handle it.”

“Holy shit. It’s the ghost of Christmas past,” Fin laughed as he and Melinda walked in.

“Nice to see you, too, Fin. You go to Cuba but couldn’t stop by South Beach?”

“You know me, Munch. Fishing was better in Cuba.”

Everyone starting filing in to celebrate Cami’s big day.

“Bill long time no see,” Cragen said as he shook Dodds’ hand.

“Don. You realize what you left me with?” he joked, pointing to Liv and Izzy.

“Ha ha, Chief,” Izzy said as she rolled her eyes. 

“And I got stuck with this one for a daughter in law,” he teased. “You should’ve stuck around, Don. You could’ve made Chief.”

“It was time to hang it up,” he told him before they introduced their wives to each other.  
_____________________________________________________  
Everyone sort of mingled at the small party at Cami’s favorite Mexican restaurant. Dawson even showed up with Eva and Diego.

Erin and Tony acted a lot different than they had in the past. It seemed like Adriana was bringing her parents together as they took turns totting the brown haired girl around while smiling at each other.

Carisi was lugging Jesse around, but not straying too far from Amanda and Billie.

“You okay, mi amor?” Rafael asked as he took wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her cheek.

“Yeah, I really am. It’s like…it’s like our family is complete again,” she smiled as she just sort of took it all in.

“Hey, Dad?”

“You’re ready to go?”

“No. Can I invite the girls and Robbie and Michael and Charlie and Jack to join us?”

“Uh, sure. I don’t see why not. There’s plenty of food. Let me just go make sure nobody else has this room booked really quick.”

“Okay, thanks,” she smiled before she returned to Eva.  
___________________________________________  
“Well?” Izzy asked her husband when he came back after speaking to the manager.

“He said we could have the room the entire night if we want. If we need more food and drinks, just let them know.”

“Wow. Okay.”

It wasn’t a real fancy place but they had the best authentic tacos in all of Manhattan and Cami absolutely loved the place. That’s the one thing she asked for was nothing but tacos for her after graduation dinner and her parents were happy to oblige.

“Heard I’ve got to pack up my office,” Peter laughed as he walked up to Rafael.

“Sorry,” Barba shrugged.

“My new one isn’t so bad. I’m gonna miss having Carmen as my assistant though.”

“Yeah, that was one thing I told Jack, if I’m coming back, my assistant stays with me.”

“Actually, I’ll kind of be glad to split the load with you. Your wife can be…”

“A pain in the ass? Yeah, I know. She’s a damn good cop, though.”

“She is and so is Liv. They make a hell of a team.”

“Always have.”

"Maybe we will."

"Maybe," Rafael sort of nodded as he took a drink of his scotch.  
___________________________________________  
Cami’s friends showed up and everyone just seemed to have a good time. She was introducing her girl friends to Nick, Carisi, and Antonio.

“Antonio is soooo cute,” Izzy heard Stephanie swoon. “I mean, he’s not your dad but still.”

“What? Ew!! That’s my dad.”

“Sorry but he’s hot!”

“Okay, Stephanie have you been drinking?”

“No, Cami,” she laughed. “I just know attractive men when I see them.”

“Someone has Daddy issues,” Leslie Crawford, another of Cami’s friends, teased.

“Tell me you don’t think Mr. Barba is good-looking.”

“Okay. That’s my dad and the only person that is allowed to find him ‘hot’ is my mother.”

“Fine. So, what’s up with your Uncle Sonny?”

“Don’t go there, Steph,” Cami chuckled as she shook her head.

“Can’t blame a girl for asking,” Stephanie laughed.


	122. Chapter 122

“How’s Cassidy doing?” Izzy asked Liv after Brian had testified that his youth league baseball coach had molested him in the 80s, after another man he had abused, committed suicide.

“Uh, he’s making it,” she told her. “He was…he was so brave on that stand. You know I lived with him, I considered having his children and I never knew.”

“Don’t beat yourself up, Liv.”

“I’m trying,” she told her Sergeant as she choked up.

“You still love him, huh?”

“Pssh, what would that change?”

“Everything. He told me last year after everything with that doctor that you were the love of his life.”

“He did?”

“Yeah. He did.”

Liv just held her face in her hands on her desk.

“What am I supposed to do here, Izz?”

“I don’t know, Liv. I mean, my husband was abused as a child as well, just not sexually.”

“Brian took the first step in facing his demon.”

“Rafa did that once, too. It was more confrontational but he still did it and once that happened, it was like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. I mean, it was like I could actually see it happening. Everything was gone in that moment.”

“I’m gonna stop by and check on him later.”

“I think you should.”

“So, are you guys ready to take Cami to school?”

“Ask your best friend that.”

“He doesn’t seem to be doing too well,” she chuckled as she wiped her tears. It was obvious she needed to laugh.

“Cami has to ride with me while Rafael drives her car.”

“It’s barely a two hour drive.”

“I know but you know how he is.”

“I know it is good to see him back in the halls of the DA’s office.”

“That it is,” Izzy agreed.

“Well, Sergeant, why don’t we get out of here? There will be bad guys to catch tomorrow.”

“Unfortunately. It never stops.”

“And that’s why we’re here.”

“Don’t I know it. Well, good-night, Lieutenant.”

“Good-night, Sergeant,” Liv smiled.  
______________________________________________  
“Hmm, Rafa,” Izzy giggled as she was woken by her husband kissing the back of her neck and her shoulders one Saturday morning.

“We’re all alone, mi amor.”

“I know.”

“The kids will be gone until this afternoon,” he told her as he continued kissing down her back.

“Hmmm, what did you have in mind, Counselor?”

“I’ve missed that,” he said before placing small bites down her back. “You know what I want?”

“What’s that?”

“I want your ass,” he whispered when he made it back up to her neck and ear.

“R-really?”

“It’s been a little bit since we’ve done that. You don’t have to be quiet.”

“It’s hard to be quiet with that huge cock in my ass.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Si, Papi. Oh god,” she moaned loudly as he sucked a spot on her neck, hard.

He rolled back to his nightstand to get the lube out before rolling her on her back.

“What are you…”

“I’ve got to get you ready first, mi amor.”

His tongue flicked her left nipple, driving her insane before starting down her body. She couldn’t help but grab her tits, twisting her own nipples as he made his way to her hot, wet center.

His tongue made contact with her clit first after he pulled off her shorts and panties.

“Fuck,” she moaned as she threw her head back, arching her back. Her feet rested on his shoulders as he went at her like a cat drinking milk from a saucer. “God, Rafa…”

“Come for me, Mami,” he growled as he pushed two fingers inside of her.

She forgot the kids were all gone and was trying to keep quiet as he got orgasm #1 out of her.

“Why so quiet, cariño?”

“S-s-sorry. I for-got,” she panted.

“Don’t forget this time. I want to hear you,” he told her before starting back on her.

That time, she didn’t hold anything back. She called his name almost like a prayer as she came all over him again.

“You ready for me?”

“Si, Papi. How do you want me?”

“On your side,” he told her as he climbed back up to the top of their bed. He grabbed the lube, thoroughly coating his cock and her opening while sticking a finger inside to get her ready. “Fuck, that’s so tight even on my finger.”

“How do you think it’s gonna feel on your cock?”

“Even…tighter,” he told her as he moved his finger in and out before adding a second one.

“Jesus,” she moaned as he kept going. “Fuck me, Papi.”

“Si?”

“Si, Papi. Fuck me and fuck me hard.”

He slowly slipped the tip of his cock in her ass, letting it sit there so she could adjust to him. She grabbed his hand and pulled it to grab her left breast, signaling she was ready for more.

He finally filled her ass, pumping in and out of her slowly at first.

“I said hard,” she commanded as she reached around and grabbed his neck, pulling him to her.

He gladly obliged as he picked up his pace while holding onto her.

“Fuck, Papi.”

“You like this cock, Mami?”

“Si, Papi.”

“You like this cock in your ass?”

“Si, Papi. So much,” she panted. 

His hand reached down, two fingers entering her while his thumb rubbed her clit. His fingers and cock were in and out at the same pace before he added a third. She had never felt that full in her life. 

“Come for me, hermosa,” he whispered as he nibbled on her earlobe. “Come hard.”

“I’m almost…I’m right…oh…oh…oh…oh God!!!” 

He felt both her walls clench on his fingers and her ass do the same to his cock, causing him to explode into her ass as he moaned her name.

They came down from the intense highs they had both experienced and he pulled out of her once he starting going limp.

“Good morning,” he smiled as she turned to face him.

“I’ll say,” she smiled as she caught her breath. “What came over you?”

“I might have had a very dirty dream about you before I woke up.”

“Really?”

“Hmm-mmm and I didn’t want it to be just a dream.”

“You dirty boy.”

“How about I get up and make us breakfast?”

“Can I help?”

“Why don’t you get in the tub and relax for a little bit? This is our last weekend without any kids and after next weekend, we’re down to four.”

“Sure,” she smiled.

“I’ll even start your water and throw in a bath bomb for you.”

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you, mi amor,” he told her as he kissed her.  
________________________________________________  
“I don’t understand why you wouldn’t let me drive up here, Dad,” Cami laughed once they got to Middleton, CT.

“You paid attention to the exits and everything we took, right?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Then you’ll be fine when you come home next weekend.”

“Dad.”

“Raf come on. We didn’t go home until Thanksgiving our Freshman year of college.”

“I know how to do laundry. I don’t have to drive two hours for Mom to wash my clothes.”

“Fine. Thanksgiving then.”

“I might come home before that.”

They helped her unload and unpack her things in her dorm.

“You have your chargers and…”

“Dad stop worrying. I’m gonna be fine. You and mom went to school a lot farther away than I am.”

“Yeah but your Mom had your Uncle…”

“Dad.”

“Okay, okay.”

“Look, I know I was rebellious at times. I was spoiled but I’m gonna be okay. I promise. You’re only two hours away if I need anything.”

“Don’t forget the rules of the car.”

“Burned in my brain, Mom.”

“What’s this?” Rafael asked as picked up a frame with several pictures of their family, including the extended family, from her desk.

“Anytime I get homesick, I can look at that and know you guys are still here.”

“Good for you.”

“Dad don’t start crying.”

“I’m not,” he laughed as he wiped his eyes.

“Like you said, I have two of the smartest, not to mention best looking parents ever. I think I’ll be okay,” she chuckled.

“Okay. Call if you need anything, princesa. I don’t care if it’s 2 in the morning and you just want to talk.”

“Dad come on you’re going to be working two jobs.”

“So? That doesn’t matter.”

“He’s right. It doesn’t matter what time of night it is. We’re always here.”

“Okay. Now, will you two go home? I need to start standing on my own two feet.”

“Okay. We love you,” Rafael told his daughter as he hugged her and kissed the top of her head.

“I love you guys, too. Be careful and text me when you get home.”

“I thought we were the parents.”

“Mom.”

“Okay. You’re gonna do so well here, I just know it.”

“Now don’t you start, too.”

“We’re leaving. Love you.”

“I love you, too.”

They walked to Izzy’s Armada with Rafael getting in the driver’s seat and they began to head back to New York.


	123. Chapter 123

“You’re serious?”

“Yeah, we are, sis,” Tony told his sister.

“You two are moving in together?”

“What’s so hard to believe about that?” Erin asked.

“Just after everything…I mean…color me surprised.”

“This is what I want…what we want, Izz.”

“Fine, Tony. You’re grown,” she said as she got up from her dining room table and went back into the kitchen.

“Izz…”

“Erin I don’t know what game you’re trying to play…”

“I’m not trying to play any games. I love Tony. I always have.”

“You sure could’ve fooled me the way you’ve treated him over the last 20 years.”

“I’ve made mistakes, yes, but I know in my heart that he’s the one. Maybe having Adriana helped open my eyes but I love your brother, more than I have loved anyone in my life, even you.”

“Erin,” she scoffed as she rolled her eyes. 

“I’m serious, Izzy. He’s the one. He always has been. I was blind for so long. I’m not anymore.”

“I swear to God…”

“I know…Flatbush Ave. I get it. I promise. This is it. I shouldn’t have been so stupid all these years. Jay was a waste of time. I hate that I did that to him but I was doing everything I could to replace Tony but I couldn’t do it.”

“Fine but remember this isn’t just about the two of you anymore. You have a daughter involved.”

“I know. She has the best parts of her dad and of you, by the way.”

“That’s great, really, but everything is about her.”

“And it has been but don’t we deserve to be happy, too?”

"At what cost?"

"I mean it this time. I'm not going anywhere."  
______________________________________________  
“Amanda?”

“Huh?”

“Are you available?”

“For what, Izz?” She asked with a mouth full of bagel.

“To go kill the punk that’s dating my daughter.”

“I’ll make time for that,” she said as she wiped her hands and stood up from her desk.

“What’s going on? Is it Gil?”

“No, Nick. I’m talking about Rory.”

“Will?”

“That ended like 7 months ago. I’m talking about this punk that Carisi got the info on and I caught her sending provocative pictures to.”

“Rory? Really?”

“Yeah, Fin. Come on, Rollins.”  
_____________________________________  
Izzy practically flew to the beach Rory’s “boyfriend” taught “surfing” at.

“Who teaches surfing in New York? I mean seriously?”

“You know I’d be remiss if I did not remind you that former cops do not fare well in prison,” Rollins said as they went looking for the 19-year-old Rory had been dating.

“You hotties looking to get wet?”

“No. I’m Rory’s mother.”

“Which Rory? I got a few.”

Izzy grabbed the boy out of his van.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! No, no, no, no, no. Just think about where you're gonna put the body,” Rollins said, trying to get Izzy to let the guy go.

“Like I'm finna park in it. She said, ‘it's wet’. The one on your Facebook page.”

“Oh, yeah? She is smokin'. Nice work, Moms.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!”

“This punk needs to be taught a lesson. He's got a record, Rollins! Pickpocketing. Three time loser. On top of, ‘which Rory?" Which Rory?!” 

“I understand. I understand. But we don't want to have a heart attack now, do we? Let's breathe. Just remember to breathe.”

“Rollins, I am prepared to give my life to take his. I'm okay with that, Rollins.”

“Hey, brand new idea. Maybe Chauncey here, can help us out.”

“It’s C-Dawg.”

“Shut up!”

“Come on. He obviously knows people that knows people. He hangs out in Central Park. That’s where he’s been busted.”

“You’re right. You seen this guy before,” she asked once she sat him back up and showed him the picture of a guy with a yellow scarf.

“I’ve never seen him.”

“Amanda search his van. I’m sure we’ll find some pot in there somewhere.”

“Okay. Okay. I’ve seen him once or twice.”

“Have you seen him paying attention to any particular kids?”

“He just kind of hangs out. Gives a lot of people the creeps. I’ve heard people refer to him as ‘Big Bird’.”

“Bailey’s story confirms that,” Amanda told her.

“You did good…C-Dawg,” Izzy laughed as she sort of patted his face. “Bet you’ll remember which Rory now, huh?”

“Y-yes, ma’am.”

“Good.”

“What’s with you and Liv lately?” Amanda chuckled as they walked back to the car.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean the way she knocked the shit out of that guy in the bodega last night and then you today.”

“Must be hormones. I mean if I still had a period, it would be right now. I still get PMS even without a uterus.”  
_____________________________________________  
“I hope you’re happy!”

“What do you mean?”

“Chauncey broke up with me. Said you accosted him at the beach.”

“Can he even spell that?”

“This is not funny, Mom.”

“What did you do, Elizabeth?”

“I might’ve roughed him up a little.”

“And threatened to plant pot in his van.”

“Wait he has a van?”

“And I didn’t threaten anything.”

“I’m still on the van,” Rafael said.

“It’s one of the old VW vans from the 70s.”

“Does he live it down by the river?”

“No by the beach, Rafa.”

“Well, that makes it better. Rory just go back upstairs.”

“Fine.”

“You know she is less upset about him than she is ashamed of her mother.”

“But he really broke up with her?”

“Izz.”

“Do you know that he posted her picture on his Facebook page?”

“He did?”

“Uh-huh. And when I told him I'm Rory's mom, he said, ‘Which Rory?’ Followed by, ‘I got a few’. As if he's got a whole gang of girls named…”

“Okay, listen. I get it. I'm gonna have a little chat with this C-Dawg. Don't wait up for me.”

“It's okay, Raf, I already handled it.”

“’I got a few’. That's what he said?”

“Yeah.”

“Hell no!”

“Hey Raf, don't go do anything that I have to arrest you for.”

He shot her a glare that kind of shook her but almost made her laugh.

“Not that I would ever arrest you. You go ahead and commit crime at will, baby,” she told him before giving him a quick kiss on his cheek. “Take Nick or Mike with you.”

“I can handle this.”  
___________________________________________  
“I'm sorry about my behavior, well some of my behavior, with Chauncey, today. I let my emotions get the best of me, and I…it'll never happen again.”

“It was just a picture, Mom. There are worse things in this world.”

“Trust me, I know.”

“And you think I don't, 'cause just I'm not 'Miss Popular' like Cami I don't know anything about the real world.”

“Look, Rory, in so many ways you know so much more about the world than I did at your age. I'm proud of that. But what you can't possibly understand yet is what it's like to have children. How scary it is to think about them in a world that's just full of dangerous things.”

“I know, Mom.”

“I’ve never had to worry about this kind of stuff with you. Just because Cami is gone doesn’t mean you have to start acting like she did.”

“I get it. I love you, Mom.”

“I love you, too.”

“Where’d Dad go?”

“I…uh…I have no idea.”

“Mom,” she whined.

“You really think he’s going to find him? I’m sure he was smart enough to move his van.”  
_____________________________________________  
“As it stands, I'm pretty sure I can get an indictment, but a conviction's a whole other ball game.”

“Okay, well, how does it look for a search warrant?” Izzy asked her husband.

“DNA?”

“No.”

“Hair sample?”

“That's why we need a search warrant. That's Bailey and her parents,” she said as she pointed to Bailey and her two dads.

“You get me one thing that's not circumstantial, I'll get you a warrant.”

“Okay. Thank you for coming, gentlemen.”

“Hi. You must be Bailey,” Rafael smiled as he bent down to the little brown haired girl. "My name's Rafael. I'm a lawyer.”

“Are you going to put the bad man in jail?”

“I'm gonna do my best, Bailey.”

“Thank you, Rafael.”

“So, the good news is, is we think we have him,” he told her Dads as he stood back up.

“Good.”

“Bailey, I bet you like puzzles. Is that true? 'Cause we have a whole bunch of them in that room right over there,” Izzy told her.

“Can I?”

“Of course,” her dads told her as Izzy took her hand and walked her to a room where Liv was waiting.  
_____________________________________________  
“So her dad’s won’t let her testify?” Liv asked.

“What about Emerson’s mother?” Fin added.

“She’ll just plead the fifth,” Carisi told them.

“Not if I give her immunity against being charged as an accomplice in Bailey’s kidnapping. If she happens to implicate herself in Kevin Brown’s kidnapping and murder, so be it.”

“Hey, guys. Hold up,” Izzy said as she and Amanda walked into Rafael’s office.

“What is it, ladies?"

“I have blue eyes, Al has blue eyes, so does Billie.”

“I have green eyes, Izzy has brown and Ella blue eyes so what’s that got to do with anything?”

“If you’ll remember high school biology, Rafa, it’s called a recessive gene. Your maternal grandfather had blue eyes so that’s where Ella got hers.”

“This is all very interesting, Sergeant, but…”

“Look at this Zach and Rowan Mauer both had brown eyes. Emerson has blue so…”

“It’s a stretch but statistically speaking, Emerson may not be Rowan’s son,” he said as he looked at the pictures.


	124. Chapter 124

“How’d your appointment go?”

“Uh, fine, yeah,” Izzy answered her husband as she started unloading the groceries she had bought to cook dinner.

“You sure?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Usually when your yearly goes normal, you usually say, ‘Same as last year’.”

“I don’t always say that.”

“Actually, you do.”

“It’s nothing, Raf.”

“What is it?”

“Nothing to worry about it.”

“Oh no, it’s menopause already, huh?”

“I wish,” she muttered.

“What do you mean?”

“Just…don’t worry about it. Everything is fine.”

“We’ve been married almost 20 years. I think I deserve an answer.”

“Oh, you do?”

“Yes.”

“You know, what, I don’t even feel like cooking tonight.”

She left the kitchen and went to their room. He stood there, alone, before finding her sitting on their bed, with her head in her hands.

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

“Okay, I’ve been thinking of how to tell you this all the way home, while I was at the store, and there’s just no easy way to say it.”

“What?”

“The doctor found something when she did my breast exam.”

He felt like the bed was gonna come out from under him.

“Oh god,” he whispered. “Does she have any idea…”

“Could be a number of things. I have to have a mammogram next week anyways and then we’ll go from there.”

“You don’t have a family history though.”

“That doesn’t always matter, Rafa.”

“What happened with Matty…I mean a bullet couldn’t even kill you and now…” he couldn’t finish his sentence as he walked upstairs to his office. He knew he was acting selfish but he didn’t want his wife to see him like that. He had been faced with possibly losing her a few times in their marriage but this was something he couldn’t handle.

If it was cancer, he and the kids would have to watch her suffer and he couldn’t imagine that. That night, he held her in bed as tight as he could. She even had to tell him to loosen his grip with a small laugh cause she couldn’t breathe.  
__________________________________________  
“Izz? Sarge?”

“Huh? Yeah, Carisi?”

“I got that file on Annisa Campbell.”

“What?”

“You asked me to finish it?”

“Right. Sorry.”

“You doing okay?”

“I’m fine. Just been tired lately.”

“Well, you are about to turn 45 in a week.”

“Thanks for the remind.”

“Hey, Izz.”

“Hey, Cassidy. What brings you by?”

“Was looking for Liv. She in?”

“Uh, Noah had a doctor’s appointment but she should be getting in any minute.”

“Cool. Can I hang out or…”

“No, go ahead. Make yourself comfortable in her office if you want.”

“I’ll just sit out here. She doesn’t always take surprises well,” he laughed as he sat in the chair by Izzy’s desk.

“So, how are you doing, Cassidy?”

“Uh, good, actually,” he nodded with a small smile. “I was always against therapy but hey, it can’t be any worse than living with what I was living with, right?”

“I suppose.”

“Your husband’s seemed, I don’t know, in a strange mood this past week. You guys okay?”

“We’re fine, Cassidy. He’s just juggling two professions, you know.”

“I don’t know he does it.”

“Coffee and scotch.”

“Brian what brings you by?” Liv smiled when she saw him.

“I thought I could talk to you for a minute?”

“Uh, sure. Let’s go in my office.”

“You don’t think he’s gonna ask her to get back together, do you?”

“And if he does, Nick?”

“I just hope it works out this time.”  
_____________________________________________  
“Well?”

“Inconclusive.”

“So, what does that mean?”

“They’re gonna schedule a biopsy to take it out and have it tested.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Raf.”

“Jesus. Have you told Liv.”

“I haven’t even told Amanda. I guess I’ll have to tell Liv since I’m gonna have surgery.”

“What about the blood work?”

“It’s not showing anything.”

“But that’s a good thing, right?”

“Maybe but…”

“Don’t finish that sentence.”

“We’re going to have to just face the facts that I could possibly have cancer.”

“No. No, you can’t.”

“Rafael.”

“I’m not going to lose you to anything.”

“I, uh, I talked to Captain Van Buren from the 27th. You know she went through this.”

“I will spend every last penny we have to make sure you’re well.”

“You have to think about the kids.”

“Stop talking like there’s something wrong when we don’t even know…”

“I’m just trying to prepare myself…”

“Mom? Dad?”

“Yeah, Ella?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Princesa. What do you need?”

“I know something’s wrong. I’ve heard you guys talking over the last few days. Mom are you sick?”

“I…uh…I don’t know yet.”

“What’s wrong?”

She started to explain to Ella what was going on.

“When will you know?”

“I’m having a surgical biopsy next week. Then they’ll have it tested. I should know that day.”

“What if…”

“Rafaella let’s not make your mother worry about that right now.”

“It’s okay Raf. If I’m sick, we’ll handle it, okay?”

“Okay,” she nodded, her blue eyes filled with tears. 

“Come on. That bullet a few years ago couldn’t kill me.”

“I know,” she sniffled.

“Why don’t you go finish your homework so I can start dinner?”

“Yeah.”

“You can invite Gil over if you want.”

“Thanks,” she smiled before wrapping her arms around her mother. "I love you."

"I love you, too."  
_______________________________________________  
“So, the whole procedure will take about 30 minutes to an hour, depending on how tough it is to get out.”

“What does that mean, how tough it is to get out?”

“Rafi,” Lucia quietly scolded.

“I’m sorry I’m just…”

“It’s fine, Mr. Barba. Sometimes they can attach to the tissue making them a little harder to remove, that’s why I wanted to go in surgically instead of doing the needle biopsy. Once the surgery is over, I’ll have the tumor rushed to the lab for results. She’ll be in recovery for about an hour but you’ll be able to take her home after that.”

“And the results?”

“I will call you as soon as they come in. We’re going to take good care of her.”

“Thank you.”

“Come on. Sit down,” Anthony told him.

It seemed like the longest hour of his life. 

The doctor finally came out and told him she was in recovery and he could see her soon. He just wanted to know she was okay and take her home.  
_______________________________________  
“Hey,” Liv said as she walked in. “Any news yet?”

“None.”

“Where is she?”

“Laying on the bed, with Amanda, watching TV, and staring at her phone.”

“This must be hell, for all of you.”

“The kids are trying to stay distracted. Cami came in from school, she’s been so worried. I really didn’t want her driving but it’s not like I could stop her.”

“She just wanted to be with her mom.”

“I know. You want a drink?”

“Uh, sure.”

They walked upstairs to his office and he poured them each a glass of scotch.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine,” he sniffled with his back turned to her.

“Hey. Talk to me.”

“I know she’s anxious for the results but I’m terrified.”

“If they are…bad…it’ll depend on the stage, you know that. To be honest, I haven’t seen much of a loss of appetite in her,” Liv joked with a small laugh.

“Maybe not. I don’t know. My head is all over the place.”

“Hey, Liv. I didn’t know you were here. Barba the doctor just called.”

“And?”

“She wouldn’t tell me. She wants to talk to you.”

“Okay,” he said as he started to walk out of his office. He had to hold the rail as he walked downstairs due to the trembling in his legs.

“Hey.”

“The doctor called.”

“That’s what Rollins told me. So, what did they find out?”

She just looked at him with tears in her eyes.


	125. Chapter 125

“Thank god,” he sighed as if he had been holding his breath for hours when Izzy told him she was fine. It was just fibroadenoma. They really didn’t know what caused them. Some studied pointed to a high consumption of caffeine, wouldn’t be completely of the mark with all the coffee, tea, and diet coke she drank.

She couldn’t speak as the tears of joy fell from her eyes. “Did I hear Liv come in?”

“Yeah. She came to check on you. Her and Rollins are in my office right now, or at least they were.”

“Mom?”

“Uh, yeah, Matty?”

“Everything okay?”

“I’m fine, baby.”

“You mean you’re not sick?”

“No, I’m perfectly healthy.”

“Thank goodness,” he told her as he hugged her.

“Yeah, I’m gonna be here for a while.”

“Good because we couldn’t live on take out if something happened to you.”

“Gee, thanks, mijo.”

“I’m just kidding, Dad. Come on. I’m just glad you’re gonna be okay, Mom.”

“I am.”

“Can I go tell everyone?”

“How about you tell everyone to meet us in the living room, including Aunt Amanda and Aunt Liv?”

“Okay. Wait. Where are they at?”

“In your dad’s office.”

“Okay.”

“We can finally breathe,” Rafael said he held his wife tightly.

“Like you said, a bullet couldn’t take me down.”

“I know I’ve been…I’m not renewing my contract at Columbia after this semester.”

“But I thought…”

“When this all started a few weeks ago, I told myself I was going to have to choose one or the other if you were sick. Even though you’re not, I’m still just choosing one. I don’t want to miss anything anymore.”

“But if you go back to the DA’s office…”

“I’ll still get to see you more.”

“Don’t make this kind of decision…”

“Honestly, it’s wearing me out,” he chuckled. “I don’t want to get old too fast.”

“Okay.”

“Come on. Let’s go tell everyone you’re fine.”  
_______________________________________________  
“Hey, that was my last piece of yellowtail,” Izzy laughed as she whacked her husband’s hand with her chopsticks.

“Hey! You could’ve caused a splinter.”

“You’d have deserved it. I always get the last piece of yellowtail.”

“I’ve let you have it for the last 25 years. I get the last piece once in a while.”

“Ugh, fine. Why are you smiling at me like that?”

“I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“You showed me how glad you were last night,” she giggled.

“I’m going to tonight, too.”

“Really? I might to stretch when we get home.”

“I’ll stretch you enough.”

“Stop,” she laughed. “Did Cami make it back to school?”

“Yeah. She’s there.”

“Good.”

“I don’t know who was more relieved, me or the kids. I have to say, Matty was right. If something had been wrong, we would’ve been living off of take-out.”

“You guys would’ve been fine if something…”

“Let’s not talk about it anymore, cariño,” he said as he reached over and took her hand. “It’s over.”

“You’re right. Hey, I got an idea.”

“What’s that, mi amor?”

“It’s been a while since we’ve been dancing.”

“You don’t think we’re too old?”

“Never,” she smiled.  
____________________________________________  
“She’s like an angel that fell from heaven,” Carisi said as he talked about the new girl he was dating.

“So was Lucifer,” Izzy chuckled before throwing a ball of paper at Fin.

“Gee, thanks, Sarge.”

“I’m just saying, Carisi, you don’t always have the best luck when it comes to women.”

“Plus, we all know you have a thing for Rollins,” Nick added as he passed the “ball” back to Izzy.

“No, no, no. We’re just friends.”

“That’s why you go over and cook dinner for her and the girls?”

“Technically, I’m just cooking for her and Jesse, Fin. Billie is too little too eat solid food. Besides that, we all know Amanda can’t cook.”

“He’s right about that,” Izzy added. 

“I heard that,” Amanda said as she walked up. “I can too cook.”

“You can microwave, Amanda, and barely at that.”

“I didn’t grow up in the kitchen like you did, Izz,” she laughed.

“Hey, you know, when Alex Munoz and Yelina got married, we got her cooking lessons as a wedding present. I could get you some.”

“You didn’t,” Fin laughed. 

“Technically, I did but Barba never objected.”

“That’s cold.”

“I was just trying to help out.”

“Maybe that’s why he was fooling around on her cause she still couldn’t cook.”

“Nick!”

“What? I’m just saying, Izz,” he laughed. 

“We know Cynthia can cook. Looks like you need to do a few more sit-ups, bro.”

“Ha-ha, Carisi. Besides, I think Barba needs to hit the gym a little more. His vest was looking a little snug the other day.

“Hey, you leave my husband alone. I like it.”

“I’m just kidding.”

“He does have a total dad bod, though.”

“He has 5 kids, Rollins. Who wouldn’t?” Liv laughed when she came in.

“Thanks, Lieu.”

“Brian isn’t in perfect shape but I'm just fine…”

“Wait, what?” Rollins interrupted.

“Oh, come on. Like you guys didn’t already know.”

“Oh, we knew. We were just waiting on you to admit it,” Fin told her.

“We’re not living together again just yet but we’re seeing how things are going.”

“Now, we need to find Amanda a man.”

“I’m good, Nick. I’ve had my fill of bad relationships. I’m just going to worry about my girls and that’s it.”  
________________________________________________  
“So, how did it go?” Izzy asked her husband when he came in from his doctor's appointment.

“Actually, not bad. Blood pressure is a little high, but that shouldn’t be too surprising.”

“Not really.”

“Everything else seems to be okay.”

“Then why do you have a bag from the pharmacy?”

“It seems that the stress of trying to hold down two jobs, your scare, and sending one of our many kids to college has had a major effect on my ability to perform sexually,” he told her while placing her hands on her hips, pulling her back into him.

“Since when?” Izzy laughed as the kisses he placed on the back of her neck tickled.

“Hmmm…since I said.”

“You did not,” she said as she grabbed the bag and pulled out a bottle of Viagra. “Rafael Ed…”

“Tell me you’re not curious to see what it would be like to spend the day where it doesn’t take me 45 minutes or longer to reload.”

“It doesn’t always.”

“But the refractory period could only be 15-20 minutes.”

“You’re serious?”

“The kids could all have plans one Saturday, I can take one of these at breakfast, kicks in about 30 minutes later and then…”

“Then what?”

“I can beat my record.”

“I don’t know. I mean the most orgasms you’ve given me in one day is up to 11. I might need one of my own to keep up with you.”

“I think you’d be fine.”  
________________________________________________  
“Viagra? Seriously?”

“Yes, Rollins,” Izzy laughed as she, Liv, Amanda, and Melinda had lunch in the breakroom.

“Does he need it?”

“No, Liv. That’s the problem. He’s horny enough without it.”

They were all in tears at this revelation. 

“Then how did he get it?”

“He lied, Warner!”

“Oh my god. I cannot believe he did that.”

“What am I gonna do, you guys?”

“What are you all laughing about?” Fin asked when he walked in.

“Viagra,” Liv told him.

“I’m gonna take my sandwich to my desk,” he said before kissing Melinda and leaving. “Just tell me it’s not Cassidy,” he asked as he poked his head back in.

“No!” Liv laughed. “Go on!”

“You know when this happens, we’re gonna want details.”

“Shut up, Amanda. I swear I’m gonna kill that man.”


	126. Chapter 126

“Raf can you hand me the tissues?” Izzy asked while her husband was deep in a file as they sat on the couch one evening. 

“Could you pass me the tissues?” She asked again, still being unheard. She picked up the jar of Vapo-Rub off the coffee table.

“Boy, I wish someone would rub this on my chest.”

“Huh? What?,” he asked as he quickly raised his head. 

“Pass me the tissues.” 

“No, I heard ‘rub’ and ‘chest’. The doctor will see you now.” 

“Just pass me the tissues, please. And could you go to the store and get me some cough medicine?”

“What happened to the chest rubbing?”

“Ugh, no, thank you.”

“Fine. Do you need anything else?”

“More tissues obviously.”

“Why don’t you go get in bed?”

“This is the only way I can breathe.”

“You’re burning up,” he said after his lips had touched her forehead.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Hey, Mom.”

“Yeah, RJ?”

“Are you still sick?”

“Just a little bit. Why do you ask?”

“Does that mean you’re not cooking Thanksgiving dinner?”

“Probably not since Thanksgiving is in two days.”

“Ugh,” he groaned.

“Your mother is sick, son.”

“But the stuffing…”

“Your grandmother's are going to cook.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to pick up a few things for your mother.”

“Can you grab me some…”

“No. This trip is for your mother and your mother only. Mi amor why don’t you go take a hot bath while I’m gone?”

“I might drowned. Ah, drowning…”

“I’ll run you a bath when you get home,” he chuckled.

“You gonna be my lifeguard?”

“If I have to.”

“You guys are gross.”

“That was one way to get rid of him,” Rafael laughed. “I’ll be back in a few.”  
____________________________________  
“What are you doing in here?” Lucia asked when Izzy walked into the kitchen on Thanksgiving Day.

“I can do something…”

“What? Spread germs and get the rest of us sick,” Stella said with a laugh.

“Mama please.”

“Get back in bed or you’re never gonna get better.”

“I’m fine. Look I have a mask and gloves.”

“Yes, because you have the flu. Now go. We can handle it.”

“Ugh, fine.”

Just as she started back to their bed, she heard mom call for her granddaughters to come in the kitchen.

“You doing okay?”

“I’m stuck in bed with the flu on Thanksgiving. Our mothers and our daughters on in my kitchen doing god knows what…”

“They are cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Just like you do. They help you every year anyways.”

“But it’s my kitchen…”

“And you have a problem relinquishing control, I know this.”

“You make me sound like a control freak.”

“No but you do like to have things a certain way. You just need to relax.”

“I’m trying. Have they started the…”

“Will you not worry about anything?”

“What about the snacks?”

“They are taking care of it,” he laughed. “Take your medicine and watch some TV.”

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Out here with your Dad and Bill until Tony gets here.”

“You did let everyone know I was sick?”

“And they’re still gonna be here.”

“Seriously?”

“I know you’re always the hostess but you can sit this one out.”  
___________________________________________________  
Izzy could hear the laughing and the talking come from her dining room and she hated the fact that she was practically quarantined in her room.

She finally got up, put on her robe, and a mask.

“Uh-oh. Dr. Demento has arrived,” her brother laughed.

“Can it, Tony. Where are the kids?”

“At the table in the kitchen, the babies are asleep in the guestroom.”

“Then get out of my chair, Junior. I’m gonna eat.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said as he picked up his stuff and went to the chair on the other side of Carisi.

“You’ve all had your flu shots, right?”

“Yeah,” they all agreed.

“Thank god,” she said as she took off the mask. “Now, where’s my plate?”

“I’ll get it, cariño.”

“Thank you.”

He fixed it just the way she liked and poured a glass of iced tea. 

“I don’t know what you people are thinking. This is my house. Quarantine me, starve me,” she muttered as she started eating like she hadn’t in a few days.

“What?” She asked with a mouth full of turkey while everyone looked at her.

“Maybe trying chewing your food? I mean you already have the flu, wouldn’t want you to choke,” Brian joked.

“Do you want me to come over there and lick your fork cause I’ll do it,” she told him before a forkful of mashed potatoes went in her mouth.

“Please just stay on that side of the table.”

“And my kitchen better be put back the way I had it, Mother.”

Stella just laughed at her daughter.

“What’s so funny, Mrs. Rossetti?”

“My son was always a huge baby when he’d get sick, Alice. My daughter on the other hand, was a different kind of pain in the ass; much like you’re witnessing right now.”

“Tony still is,” Erin chuckled.

“And your daughter is, too. She just doesn’t hardly get sick,” Rafael added.

“Oh, don’t you start, Mr. My-soup-is-too-hot-my-tea-is-too-cold-blah, blah, blah.” 

She had probably inhaled two plates of food while everyone was still on their first one. 

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to bed. Thank you all for coming,” she said as she took her tea and went back to her room.

Tony went into the kitchen and came back with Clorox wipes to wipe down where she had been, just for good measure he said before taking the seat next to his brother in law again.  
_________________________________________________  
{KNOCK, KNOCK}

“What?”

“You still hungry?” Amanda asked.

“You don’t want to come in here, Rollins.”

“Barba said there isn’t an inch of this room he didn’t spray down with Lysol while you were sleeping this afternoon,” she laughed as she brought in two pieces of pecan pie.

“Thank you.”

“Jesse has been asking for you since we got here.”

“How was everything?”

“Good, of course. So, uh, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“I’m not babysitting, Rollins,” she joked.

“No. So, the other night, Carisi came over, cooked dinner, helped me get the girls to bed. We had a couple of glasses of wine and then we…sort of…hooked up.”

“You don’t sort of hook-up, Rollins.”

“What would you know? You were a virgin till you were almost 20,” she teased.

“Yeah, yeah,” Izzy replied as she started on her second piece of pie. “So, what does this mean?”

“I don’t know. I’m afraid to be that woman, you know?”

“I get it. Ah! Don’t say it.”

“I wasn’t. I mean, I’ve had some real jerks in the past.”

“Don’t you think it’s time you deserve someone that’s not a jerk? Wait, what happened to that nurse he’s been dating?”

“That’s where it gets complicated.”

“Okay, this is Erin’s area of expertise, not mine. Do you have feelings for him?”

“I really do.”

“Then just talk to him.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Damn have you not eaten…”

“Nothing but soup and crackers. I needed real food or I will never get better. You want to do me a favor?”

“Another piece of pie?”

“I was thinking some more of my mom’s stuffing, if Fin, Nick, Raf, and Tony haven’t eaten it all.”

“Your mother made sure there was extra leftover just for you. More tea, too, Madam,” Rollins asked with the fakest British accent.

“Please,” Izzy laughed.


	127. Chapter 127

“Hey, Sarge.”

“Uh, hey, Carisi. What brings you by?”

“The Counselor wasn’t in his office. Carmen said he was working from home today.”

“Yeah, he thinks I’m still sick.”

“I see. You think I can talk to him for a minute?”

“Sure. Everything okay with the case?”

“Yeah, it’s nothing about that.”

“Okay. Go on up.”

“Thanks. Uh, hey, have you talked to Rollins lately?”

“Almost every day of my sick leave, Carisi. Why?”

“N-no reason.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I was just asking.”

“Okay.”

“It’s quiet in here.”

“Cami’s out with friends, Rory is with her friends, the twins are at Nick’s, and Matty is actually upstairs with his dad last time I checked.”

“Okay. Well, at least I’m talking about the case. I would hate to have my ass handed to me by a 10 year-old in a legal argument.”

“He didn’t get moved ahead to the 6th grade for nothing.”  
__________________________________________  
“Hey, Barba.”

“Hey, Carisi. What’s up?”

“I need to talk to you, if you got a minute.”

“Uh, sure. Matty why don’t you…”

“Yeah, got it, Dad,” he said as he picked up his iPad and headed to his room.

“So, is this a scotch kind of talk or a cold beer kind of talk?”

“Neither.”

“What’s going on?”

“Okay. So, a few nights before Thanksgiving, I went over to Amanda’s and hung out.”

“You cooked dinner and played Daddy as per usual.”

“Yeah,” Carisi scoffed. “After the girls were asleep, we had a couple of glasses of wine, one thing led to another and then…well…”

“Welllll?”

“Thanks for that. We hooked up.”

“Wow.”

“You already know. Your wife knows.”

“Little bit,” Barba nodded. “Amanda didn’t say she couldn’t tell me or else she wouldn’t have said anything. So, what’s the problem? You finally did something that you have been dying to do for years. Did it not meet your expectations?”

“No, it did. I mean, more than I could’ve imagined. There was the passion, the intimacy, everything.”

“Again, what’s the problem?”

“I’ve been dating this nurse from Mercy for a little bit and we haven’t slept together. I mean I really liked her but we both agreed it was nothing serious.”

“Okay.”

“I feel awful. Either way, I’m going to end up hurting someone.”

“Well, you cheated on the nurse so that’s already there and I know you too well. You’ll feel guilty until you tell her. So, it’s gonna end anyways.”

“What would you do if you were in my shoes?”

“Honestly? I’d follow my heart.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Listen, I was still dating Yelina when I met Izzy, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I seriously had thought about asking Izzy out even though I had a girlfriend back home.”

“Are you serious?”

“Absolutely, but I knew I would end up hurting Izzy and even Yelina; but hurting Izzy was what kept me from doing it. I had a feeling Yelina wasn’t exactly being faithful to me, I just didn’t know it was with my oldest friend.”

“Does she know that?”

“Nah. There was no reason to tell her once we got together. I needed to take some time alone anyways. There is no easy ending for this. Someone is going to get hurt. But like I said, you just have to…”

“Follow my heart. I get it.”

“You’re gonna go after Rollins, aren’t you?”

“I’m still thinking.”

“Well, I probably wouldn’t think too long.”

“Did Izzy say if Amanda said…”

“She didn’t give me any details other than Rollins told her it happened.”

“Okay. Now, where’s my beer?”

“You see the fridge in the corner, get it your damn self. My name’s not Geoffrey.”

“You’re about as tall as he was though.”

“Keep it up, wiseass.”  
_________________________________________  
“I hate Christmas!” Amanda said as she slammed her desk drawer.

“Come on, Rollins. The snow, the lights, the trees, the Christmas party at Izzy and Barba’s,” Nick laughed.

“I officially count myself out this year.”

“No, you can’t. Come on, Rollins. Alice is making some caramel apple jell-o shots or something. It won’t be the same if you’re not there.”

“I’d rather not see Carisi and his nurse friend.”

“Wait. What?”

“You heard me,” she scoffed as she rolled her eyes.

“On call room, now.”

“Copy that, Sarge,” Rollins said as she got up from her desk, leaving Nick confused.

“He’s still seeing her?”

“I believe so. I mean, he hasn’t offered to come over or anything since that night before Thanksgiving. I knew…I just knew it was the alcohol.”

“Amanda you know better. He made a move on you two years and you turned him down.”

“Yeah and then I finally give in and he throws me to the side after he got what he wanted.”

“Carisi isn’t like that. Maybe he’s just confused.”

“I know he was dating her but he told me it wasn’t serious and they hadn’t slept together. I mean, did I feel bad? Yeah, I did, honestly. I don’t like being the other woman, especially since I’ve been there. I should’ve said no that night.”

“Amanda I don’t know…”

“You know, that’s what I get for sleeping with someone else’s boyfriend.”

“He’s not her ‘boyfriend’.”

“Of course, I can’t experience the best sex I’ve ever had more than once.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Amanda replied quietly.

“Carisi? Alter boy Carisi? Almost a virgin Carisi was the best you’ve ever had?”

Amanda sort of shrugged with a small smile.

“A little impressed, I gotta say. Did you talk to him about what happened?”

“No.”

“Maybe that’s what he’s waiting on.”  
_______________________________________________  
“This sure beats Thanksgiving,” Fin laughed as everyone hung out a couple of days before Christmas. “Where’s Rollins?”

“She’s supposed to be here,” Izzy answered. “I think she was gonna meet Stone and his date and come with them.”

“So, come on, Shorty, what’s up with her and Carisi?”

“I have no idea, Fin. Really.”

“Barba?”

“Don’t look at me. I just know stuff.”

“Ha ha. You two are going to tell me you have no idea what’s with all the tension between them since Thanskgiving?”

“Not a clue,” they answered in unison.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll remember that the next time you need files 'ASAP', Counselor.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.”

“Not a word,” Izzy whispered to her husband.

“That’s okay. I’ll just get them from my wife.”

Everyone started showing up and snacking on the food, having a few drinks. Izzy and Erin were trying to figure out if Stone’s date was an escort or not.

“Maybe she just didn’t realize this was a professional Christmas party.”

“Yeah, real professional when we will be doing jell-o shots later,” Izzy laughed.

“Hank is in town so Tony and I can let loose a little tonight.”

“Have you heard from your mother?”

“Last I knew she was in Leavenworth.”

“Seriously?”

“Yep. You know, the FBI let her go to poach me from CPD but she got busted again. Hank wasn’t going to save her. He already too many times.”

“Hey, Mama, we have a code brown situation.”

“Seriously, Tony?”

“Have you changed a dirty diaper yet?”

“Uh yeah, I had to before we moved in together.”

“Tony just go change it. Your brother in law used to do it all the time without giving me any shit no pun intended.”

“Ugh, fine. Where can I take her?”

“Same place Amanda takes Billie and Alice takes Connor, guestroom.”

“Okay. Hey, Uncle Rafa…”

“Uh-huh. I already heard and my diaper changing days are long over.”

“You all suck.”

Carisi showed up alone.

“Now is the time to talk to him,” Izzy told Amanda.

“I don’t know if I can…”

“Do it now or regret it forever.”

“You’re right. Okay. I can do this.”

“What’s going on?” Liv asked as she walked up as Amanda and Carisi walked toward Izzy and Rafael’s bedroom.

“Maybe a Christmas miracle, Liv.”

“Those two need to get a room.”

“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear you say that,” Izzy chuckled before taking a drink of her scotch.

About 30 minutes later, they came back and started getting the girls gathered up.

“You better not have done it on my bed, Carisi.”

“I didn’t, Barba,” he said as he rolled his eyes. “We just talked. Now, we’re talking the girls back to her place, get the girls to bed, and continue talking.”

“I mean it. If I go in there and there’s anything on that bed that didn’t come from me or my wife, you’ll be paying for the dry-cleaning.”

“We’re not animals, jeez.”


	128. Chapter 128

“I can’t believe you told me I can’t go to Mardi Gras but you’re going,” Cami told her mother as Izzy finished packing.

“Your Dad and Uncle have a conference in New Orleans.”

“Okay, that explains you guys and Aunt Erin but what about Liv and Brian, Amanda and Sonny, Nick and Cynthia, and Fin and Melinda?”

“We’re taking advantage of a long weekend.”

“But what about work?”

“Papa Dodds has arranged for Brooklyn and Queens to take our calls.”

“So, I had to come in to take care of my brothers and sisters so you guys could go party in New Orleans for the weekend?”

“We’re just going to explore. And you were coming in anyways.”

“I’m gonna have friends that have been allowed to go so please don’t let any of my friends see your boobs.”

“How would they know it was me?” Izzy teased.

“They’ve seen your pictures. This guy in my dorm added me on Facebook and he commented on that one picture of you in the white bikini. Said: ‘No way that is your mother. Tell me if she leaves your Dad.”

“Uh, ew!”

“Yeah, deleted and blocked and I avoid him at all cost.”

“Good. You do have your pepper spray still, right?”

“Yeah, Mom.”

“Mi amor. Come on. Our flight leaves in three hours.”

“I’m done. What about you?”

“Just need to pick another suit.”

“Are you really speaking in front of thousands of people, Dad?”

“I talk in front of thousands if not millions when I’m on TV,” he chuckled.

“True.”

“You gonna be okay with…”

“I’ll be fine. I’ve handled them before. I’m more worried about you guys.”

“We’ll be fine, Camila. We’re adults.”

“Yeah, can I remind you that you got your nipple pierced after a night of drinking with Uncle Mike, Uncle Nick, and Uncle Sonny?”

“Mind your business,” Rafael told his daughter. “Now, you have the credit card, there’s cash…”

“Dad, I’m 19. Stop worrying. You guys just go and have a good time. The house will still be standing when you get here and we’ll all be alive.”

“Good to know.”  
_________________________________________  
“Let me get three shots of whiskey with a Coke to chase. Coke Zero, though. I'm watching my figure.”

“Erin, you know this is a three hour flight,” Izzy told her as they all got seated in first class. Luckily, it was mainly just their little group. 

“Oh. Well, then, in that case, let me go ahead and get those three shots now and then bring me a shot of Baileys once we get into cruising altitude.”

“She’s about to get turnt up,” Amanda laughed across the aisle.

The guys ended up all being seated together. Erin and Izzy were sitting together, Amanda was next to Cynthia, with Liv and Melinda sitting behind them.

“Can we bring it down a notch, Erin?” Izzy chuckled.

“Can we get some dick this weekend? Some of us need it.”

“Oh lord,” Liv muttered as she shook her head.

“I need you to use your lady mouth.”

“Oh, I’m gonna use my lady mouth this weekend. I suggest you all do the same.”

“Please. I just want to relax this weekend and enjoy the festivities,” Melinda replied.

“Good lord, Erin. What is with you?” Amanda asked.

“I haven’t had any since Tony moved in basically. That’s what. Fuck this conference. He’s dicking me down all weekend.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Izzy whispered as she rubbed her temples.

“Look at these ladies up here. You know they’re going to Mardi Gras to fucked up in more ways than one. WHO’S READY FOR MARDI GRAS UP HERE?!!”

The few other younger people that were in first class all cheered and Erin ordered patron shots for everyone.

“Oh, shit,” Tony snickered.

“Get…your…woman,” Rafael laughed.

“She’s looking to party, this weekend, Rafi.”

“Fuck.”

“Is that all you think about is sex?” Cynthia laughed.

“When I’m not getting it, hell yeah!”

“You know, Erin does have a point. Daily penetration is medicinal.”

“Says the woman whose husband has a prescription for Viagra,” Liv laughed when Izzy said that.

“Never been used, Liv.”

“Lord help you when it is.”

“Hey, Barba?!”

“What, Erin?”

“Did you pack your Viagra?!”

Everyone just died laughing, except for Rafael who put a copy of SkyMall over his face and slid down in his seat.

“Erin sit down,” Izzy told her.  
____________________________________  
They landed in New Orleans, a stretch Hummer, courtesy of Tony was waiting for them.

“Hell yeah, give me that Vodka.”

“No, Erin. You had enough on the plane,” Amanda said as she grabbed the bottle.

“Come on, guys. It’s time to have fun.”

“Erin your husband and I have to prepare for this conference tomorrow. We’ll have plenty of time after that.”

“Oh, come on, Barba. I remember in college when you used to do body shots off your wife.” 

“So? We have work to do.”

“We always had work to do in college, too.”

“Hush, Erin,” Izzy laughed.

“When did we get so old?”

“No one’s old,” Liv answered. “We’re just waiting until we get to the hotel. Where are we staying again?”

“Right in the French Quarter,” Amanda told her. “Brian do you have to go to this conference, too?”

“For a little but actually.”

“Look, we’re gonna have fun this weekend,” Fin added. “Let’s get to the hotel, get unpacked, let these two lawyers do what they need to do, then we can have some fun.”

“Fin’s right,” Nick piped up. “We’re gonna have a good time. No kids, no guns, no phone calls. Just us against New Orleans.”

“Don’t say that, Amaro. Izzy and Erin will take that as a challenge.”

“Rafa,” Izzy scolded playfully as she slapped his belly.

“Let’s see who can get the most beads this weekend.”

“NO!!!” Everyone told Erin.

“Hey, I have that taken care of,” Carisi said as he pulled a whole bunch out of his carry-on.

“Good enough for me,” Melinda chuckled as she grabbed some from Sonny.

The rest of the ladies agreed.

“Okay, you know the rules. Whip ‘em out,” Nick joked, earning a playful nudge from Cynthia.

“I don’t want to see my sister’s boobs, thank you, Amaro.”

“And the rest of you don’t see that much of my wife either,” Rafael added.  
_________________________________________  
“Rafa?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you really going to be working on this speech with Tony all night?” Izzy asked her husband as she started kissing is neck.

“I…uh…I really need to, cariño.”

“Really?”

She lifted the green t-shirt he was wearing and began flicking his nipple ring lightly with her tongue.

“Oohhh…” he moaned as he threw his head back. “Mi amor…”

“Come on, Rafa.”

“I…I really need to work on this.”

“Okay,” she relented.

“I didn’t say stop,” he said with that crooked smile while grabbing both of her arms and guiding her to their bed.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” he growled as undid her favorite True Religion jeans that were probably 10 years old but they still fit her perfectly. He slowly pulled them down and lifted her shirt.

“Raf?”

“Yeah?”

“I know you need to work…”

“Shhh…let me take care of you first.”

“Well, I can’t refuse that,” she smiled as he looked up with his green eyes as he continued to make his way down.

“Oh, god, Rafa…” she moaned once his tongue made contract with her clit. He started going at her as if he was starving for her.

Her hands roamed through his hair, making a complete mess of it, while she continuously moaned his name. Her legs locked around his head as he made her come over and over.

“What about you?” She asked once he gave her three orgasms.

“I’ll be fine until later,” he told her as he kissed her, letting her taste herself on his lips and tongue.  
______________________________________________  
“Alright girls, the guys are gonna meet up with us later but I say we have a few drinks before we meet up with them,” Amanda said as the ladies met in her and Sonny’s suite.

“Sounds good to me,” Liv chuckled.

“Are these hurricanes?” Melinda asked.

“Hell no. I call these ‘tsunamis’,” Erin replied.

Once they drank their drinks, they left to meet the guys at a bar not far from the hotel.

They all kept feeling weird, not sure what was going on.

“About time you guys got here,” Sonny joked when they walked up to them.

“Did you guys hear that?”

“Hear what, Izz?”

“Shh. Rory?”

“What?” Melinda laughed but it wasn’t her voice. It was more demonic sounding to Izzy.

“Let’s get you ladies to a table,” Nick offered.

“What the fuck did you put in those drinks?” Izzy asked Amanda.

“What? You feel squishy,” she laughed as she started squeezing Izzy’s breast.

“They are squishy,” Izzy laughed in return.

The guys were completely lost.

“You are so sexy, Brian,” Liv whispered as she blew in his ear.

“Oh my god! I love this song,” Amanda exclaimed as “Too Close” by Next started playing as she climbed into Sonny’s lap, practically giving him a lap dance.

Izzy kept rubbing her hand over Rafael’s piercing on the outside of his shirt.

Melinda kept “rubbing” on Fin, like a cat looking for attention.

It was more than obvious that Erin was being “handsy” under the table but Izzy was too into messing with Rafael to pay attention or be grossed out.

“How many drinks did you ladies have?” Nick asked while Cynthia kept licking and sucking his fingers.

“Just one,” Melinda answered.

“Why don’t we get them some water?” Rafael mentioned as he motioned for the guys to join him.

“Did they get a hold of some X or something?” Fin asked.

“I don’t know. They are all…I don’t know,” Cassidy kind of chuckled.

They went back to the table to find their women gone.

“Where the fuck did they go?” Nick asked when they got back.

“Jesus Christ. Good luck finding them here,” Tony scoffed.

“Come on, guys. We’re on a mission from God now,” Rafael told them.  
____________________________________________  
The guys must’ve searched every bar within the two blocks from their hotel.

“I officially give up.”

“We’re not giving up, Carisi. We have to find them,” Fin told him. “We’ve got an NYPD Lieutenant and Sergeant loose on the streets of New Orleans during Mardi Gras, fucked up on something; not to mention the Chief ME.”

“Fin’s right. I want to find my wife.”

“You know, it’s funny. Out of all of us, there’s only one married couple here.”

“Shut it, Tony. We gotta find your sister and the rest of them.”

“Hey, I called a friend down here,” Nick told them as he walked back up. “I had him ping Cynthia’s phone.”

“Where are they?”

“Three blocks north, Barba.”

“Let’s go.”

They found the club the girls had wandered off to. They couldn’t help but laugh when they saw them in different colored wigs, doing the “Apache” dance.

“Tell me someone is recording this,” Cassidy chuckled.

“Oh, I definitely I am,” Carisi replied as he held up his phone while Sugarhill Gang’s “Apache” played in the background while they watched their ladies do the same dance that was done on “The Fresh Prince”.

“What the fuck did they take?”

“No clue, Fin, but I want to find out,” Rafael answered him.

Once the song was over, the girls had come down off their “high” and went to the bar to get some drinks.

“Hey, sexy lady with the purple hair,” Rafael whispered in Izzy’s ear.

“Hey there, handsome.”

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“That’s sweet but I have this husband who is incredible sexy and has a huge cock.”

“Bet mine’s bigger.”

“You think so?”

“I could show you.”

“No thanks. I love my husband,” she said before she started laughing. “How did you find us, Rafa?”

“We have our ways. I think we need to back to the hotel.”

“Come on. Another drink.”

“You’re on something. You need some rest.”

“No, I’m not. I haven’t swallowed anything but alcohol.”

“Come on, mi amor.”

“Fine,” she said as put her hand in his.  
____________________________________________  
“Ughhhhh what the fuck happened last night?” Izzy moaned as she saw the purple wig on her nightstand.

“You were a little drunk, Elizabeth,” Rafael laughed as he kissed her shoulder.

“What the fuck did I drink?”

“Absinthe.”

“What?”

“Apparently while you, Liv, Melinda, and Cynthia were at your spa appointment, Amanda and Erin went wandering around and found a guy selling it.”

“Oh, Jesus. No wonder I don’t remember anything.”

“Here. Maybe this will jog your memory,” he said as he grabbed his phone and showed the video of her and the rest of the ladies dancing.

“Oh…my…god. I didn’t show my boobs to anyone, did I?”

“Just me,” he smiled while biting his bottom lip.

“Yeah?”

“You seriously don’t remember the sex last night?”

“Uhhhh…I left the wig on, huh?”

“Yeah you did.”

“I remember…you bending me over the bed, fucking me while we were standing.”

“That I did. You seemed to enjoy it.”

“How do you know?”

“Please. Like I don’t know when you come?”

She just sort of laughed, as much as she could with the hangover she had.

“Sorry about last night, baby.”

“You guys were having fun. Granted you were sort of drugged…”

“I’m gonna kill Rollins and Erin.”


	129. Chapter 129

“I need bacon,” Izzy groaned as they all met for brunch that day. 

“You can have eggs…”

“No, I want all the bacon you have,” Izzy told their server. “I know what you think you heard but I don’t mean 3 or 4 pieces. I’m talking every…single…piece of bacon you have. We have a plane to catch in 4 hours. I don’t need to be sick.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Everyone else finally started joining them. All the ladies kept their sunglasses on.

“So, who all got laid last night?” Amaro asked with a laugh.

Every guy except Tony raised his hand.

“What happened, Erin?” Amanda snickered.

“Somebody thought I was too drunk.”

“You and Rollins gave us Absinthe,” Izzy mentioned as she stuffed her mouth with bacon.

“Come on. We had fun,” Erin kind of laughed.

“If you say so,” Liv said with a hint of a retch.

“Don’t ever do that again,” Melinda told them. 

“Come on, Lin. You had fun last night,” Fin teased as he put his arm around her.

“At least someone did,” Erin scoffed. "I expect airplane sex, Anthony."

"I'll see what I can do."

"Guys come on. I'm trying to eat my bacon," Izzy groaned as she slapped Brian's hand away from her plate. "Izzy doesn't share food, Cassidy. You know that."

"But you got every piece of bacon..."

"And it's all mine."

"Okay, Ron Swanson," Brian laughed.  
______________________________________________________  
“What was your meeting with Jack about?” Izzy asked Rafael when he finally got home around 9 one night in April 2020.

“Well, Cutter is taking a job in DC.”

“Yeah?”

“He wants me to take his place as Chief ADA.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” he said with a small smile as he removed the French cufflinks from his shirt before unbuttoning his vest.

“And what did you say?”

“I know I’ve always ran decisions by you but…I said yes.”

“You did,” Izzy smiled.

“Is that okay?”

“Baby of course it is. You took a break and you’ve been stronger than ever since you’ve come back. I wouldn’t expect anything less,” she giggled as she sat on her knees on their bed and kissed her husband.

“Thank you.”

“I am so proud of you. You could be Mayor one day.”

“Maybe DA,” he smiled as he kissed her hands that he held until his phone buzzed. She noticed a strange look on his face.

“Everything okay?”

“Uh…Alex was murdered in prison an hour ago.”

“Really?”

“Apparently so.”

“He’s been in Gen Pop all this time and…it just now happened?”

“I don’t know the details, mi amor. Just what Mami text me.”

“Raf?”

“Yeah?”

“I need to tell you something.”

“What’s up?”

“Uh…remember when Eddie and Lori got married?”

“Yeah?”

“I was in the kitchen, putting dishes away…”

“Okay?”

“Alex…well…he came on to me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, he told me that if I needed a real man, I could always call him and then…”

“And then?”

“He grabbed my ass.”

“And why didn’t you ever tell me this?”

“I just…I didn’t…I didn’t know how to…”

“Baby…”

“I just couldn’t say anything after what he did to you. He was your oldest friend.”

“Honey you know how I felt about him since that…”

“I know. I just didn’t want you to have another reason to dislike him.”

“I didn’t need anything else, trust me,” Rafael sort of chuckled.

“I know but…”

“Why did you keep this in all this time?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “He had been drinking.”

“And your time in SVU should’ve told you that being drunk is no excuse.”

“I know but…”

“Hey, it’s not our loss.”

“You’re right,” Izzy replied with a small smile.  
\-----------------------------------------------  
“Counselor…I mean Chief ADA.”

“It’s still Counselor, Sergeant,” Rafael smiled as he looked up to see his wife in his doorway.

“How’s your day been?”

“Fine. What brings you by?”

“Well, we don’t have a case and I got a little…bored.”

“Really?”

“Carmen’s gone to lunch so it’s lunchtime, right?”

“What did you bring me to eat?”

“Me,” she smiled.

“You are looking for trouble, mi amor.”

“Me? Never,” she told him as she went behind his desk.

“¿Qué estás haciendo con mi amor (what are you up to my love)?”

“Simplemente relájese, Rafael (just relax).”

She got down on her knees in front his chair and started undoing his belt.

“Izz…”

“What?”

“Nothing,” he smiled with his bottom lip caught under his teeth.

He moved just enough so she could pull his dick out of his boxers, stroking it to get him hard.

“MMMM…” he quietly moaned as she took him in her mouth. He was only half hard but by the time he felt her mouth on him, he was at “full strength”.

He rested his head on his chair as she bobbed up and down on his long, fat cock.

“God…damn. Such a good little cocksucker, aren’t you, cariño?”

She looked up at him with her brown eyes and a smile as she flicked his head with her tongue before starting back.

“Hey, Barba,” Nick said as he and Amanda came in.

He was quick enough to push his wife under his desk with his chair.

“Wh-what do you need, Amaro?”

“If we’re gonna get anywhere, we need a few more warrants.”

Izzy didn’t stop, even though he tried to push her head off of him.

“Uh…uh…y-yeah. Okay. What…damn!” He yelled as he slammed his fist on his desk.

“You okay, Counselor?”

“Yeah. P-p-pain in my back.”

Rollins looked down and noticed Izzy’s heel sticking out from his desk.

“Shit,” he whispered as he was getting close.

“Barba?”

“Yeah?”

“The warrants?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll get them to you, N-nick.”

“Thanks. Come on, Rollins.”

“See you at the office, Sarge,” Amanda called out as they left with a laugh.

Within a matter of minutes, Rafael’s hot release hit the back of her throat as she swallowed every drop.

“Why-why didn’t you stop?”

“Now where’s the fun in that?” She laughed as she stood up after climbing out from under his desk.

“They knew you were here.”

“I’m aware,” she told him.

“Fuck. You’re gonna kill me one day.”

“Now you know I’d never do that. Admit it, you enjoyed that.”

He looked up at her, first with a glare and then a smile.

“I knew it. You’re as dirty as I am.”

“What came over you today?”

“I just wanted to make you…come today.”

“I could’ve after work.”

“I know but how often do we do stuff like this?”

“True. You better get back to your office before they tell on you.”

“I’m not worried,” she chuckled. “Got some mints?”

“I’m not afraid to kiss you after you sucked my dick, you know that.”

“Yeah but I don’t want to have semen breath,” she told him, causing them both to laugh.

“The only person that could figure that out would be Erin.”

“True. Okay, well, I’ll see you at home, cutie.”

“Do I get a repeat performance tonight?”

“You might,” she told him with a wink.

“Love you.”

“Love you, too, Raf. Now get to work.”

He just rolled his eyes as his wife walked out of his office.


	130. Chapter 130

Nick and Amanda walked in to the precinct.

“Where’s Izzy?” Liv asked when before they could sit down.

“She was uh…under the Chief ADA’s desk,” Nick said bluntly. “I don’t think she’ll be much longer though.”

Carisi sort of chuckled to himself while Fin just furrowed his brow.

“Ah, there you are,” Liv said when Izzy walked in. “Sergeant do we have to have another talk about inappropriate behavior during working hours?”

“Tattletale,” she whispered at Rollins. “Technically, I was on my lunch break and furthermore, I know all about you and Cassidy in the broom closet.”

“What?!” Amanda laughed.

“Yep. A couple of weeks ago, a janitor heard it all.”

“That was…after hours,” Liv replied.

“Oh, come on, Lieu,” Carisi teased.

“Uh, Carisi, lest we forget Izzy caught you and Rollins in the on call room when you guys were supposed to be taking a nap when we were all on duty for 36 hours.”

“I will never understand white people,” Fin laughed.

“Wait, Liv. Which bed were they on so I don’t lay on it?”

“Ask Izzy, Nick. She’s the one that got the show.”

“I’m still having nightmares, Carisi,” she told him as he blushed. “We are just a walking human resources violation, I swear.”

“You and the Chief ADA especially.”

“Hush, Nick.”

“Poor guy. He was trying to get off and me and Rollins were pestering him for warrants,” Amaro laughed as he propped his feet up on his desk.

“Alright, playtime is over. We still have work to do,” Liv told them as she walked into her office.  
_______________________________________________  
“So, how are things with you and Carisi?” Izzy asked Amanda as they sat at their desks.

“Uh, really good,” Amanda blushed.

“Think is could be it?”

“Hmm…maybe.”

“Amanda Rollins. You are as giddy as a school girl.”

“I can’t help it. I mean, I’ve honestly never felt like this in my life.”

“Took you long enough to realize there was still a good guy out there.”

“He’s been here the whole time. So, what do you want to do for lunch?”

“Chinese? Hang on, Sergeant Barba, SVU,” Izzy said as she answered her desk phone. “Uh, yeah, I can be there in 10 minutes. Okay, yeah I can find one. No problem.”

“What was that about?”

“Judge Barth wants me to come to the courthouse and bring a breathalyzer.”

“Dalton is trying to use alcohol induced psychosis as his defense and he showed up to court drunk?”

“I guess. I’ll be back. Oh, what now? Hello? She wants me to bring the Chief ADA? Uh, yeah, okay, I’ll call him and have him meet me over there. Coming with me, Rollins?”

“Sure, why not?”  
_________________________________________________  
“Any idea why we’ve both been summoned to Barth’s courtroom?”

“No clue, Rafa,” she said as they walked in.

“Sergeant. Glad you’re here,” Barth said upon seeing them.

“No problem, Your Honor. Where would you like me to administer the test: right at the Defense table?’

“Guess again,” Elena said, “Unfortunately, the Prosecution.” 

“You can't be serious.” 

“Could you please clear this up, Sergeant? They're trying to ruin my reputation,” Stone asked. 

“I have no desire to ruin your reputation, Counselor. Sergeant Barba were you drinking with Mr. Stone last night?” 

“I had one.” 

“And him?”

“I saw him consume two drinks.” 

“So, you did lie to me. How many drinks did you have after Sergeant Barba left?” 

“I object to this line of questioning, Your Honor.” 

“Then blow.” 

“No. I can attest, as an officer of this court, that I am not intoxicated.” 

“Peter, your eyes are bloodshot and watery. Your speech is slurred, and you stink of booze. Now blow,” Rafael told him angrily. 

“Izzy…”

“Peter blow,” she told him to which he finally did. “I got it.” 

“Bring it up here. Let me see.” 

“I saw it, Your Honor. It's 0.07. I’m legally sober.” 

“I was hoping for a zero,” Barth answered. 

“It's still climbing.” 

“For the record, your blood level count is 0.082,” Barth informed him. 

“That's residual from last night. I'm fine, Your Honor. I am ready to proceed.” 

“Counselor, you have a problem. I'm ordering you removed from this courtroom.”

A mistrial was immediately declared.  
__________________________________________  
“I understand that,” Izzy could hear her husband telling McCoy from outside his office.

“You’re the Bureau Chief. This is part of your responsibilities. You’ll need a sworn statement from your wife about last nights events and what happened in Judge Barth’s courtroom.”

“Yes, sir.”

“It’s not personal, Rafael. Remember that.”

“Sure.”

He grabbed his wife’s hand without a word and practically pulled her to his office.

“I need your statement that…”

“I heard.”

“Get it done.”

“Now?”

“Now. Stone will be here in an hour.”

“Okay.”

“Didn’t you tell me you paid an exceptionally large bar tab of his one night?”

“Just a few months ago.”

“Cash or card?”

“Card.”

“Look up our bank statement and see if you can find it and print it out.”

“Raf he’s…”

“Elizabeth please! I have a job to do!”

“Okay.”

She did what he asked and found the $100 bar tab that belonged to just Stone that she had paid back in December.   
__________________________________________________________  
Stone came in a little while later and Izzy got up to leave.

“Stay. I need a witness. Have a seat, Stone.”

She just sat back down in the chair at the table in the middle of the room.

“I know the last few years have been hard on you, Stone.”

“Mr. Barba…”

“Let…me…speak. However, it is no excuse for you to show up to court, 45 minutes late by the way, still drunk from the night before, causing a murderer to go free. You know you leave me no choice…”

“I’ll clean out my office.”

“Stone stop interrupting me. You leave me no choice but to place you on a 60-day suspension, and during 30 of those days you complete court ordered rehab or you will not come back. Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

“One chance, Stone. That’s all I’m giving you.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“You’re dismissed.”

His office was silent as Stone exited. 

“Can I go now or you need me to watch you fire an intern?”


	131. Chapter 131

“Rory you don’t have to go to Harvard just because your mother and I went there.”

“Yeah, I know, Dad but I mean, they’re offering me a full ride.”

“And so is Stanford, Yale, Brown, and Dartmouth.”

“Still, I want to go where you and Mom went.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah,” she smiled.

“Okay. If that’s what you want.”

“It is. So, when’s Mom gonna be home?”

“They’re working around the clock so I really have no clue.”

“Dad?”

“What is it, Junior?”

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Junior can it wait? I’m trying to get dinner finished.”

“Go, Dad. I can finish it for you.”

“You sure, Aurora?”

“Yeah. I’ve helped you make this several times. I’m more than able.”

“Thanks. Meet me in my office, RJ.”

“Okay.”

Rafael walked upstairs to talk to his son.

“What’s up?”

“Okay, well, you know Zara and I decided that right now, we just needed to be friends, kind of cool it with everything.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, so I’ve been dating Aimee for little bit now.”

“I’m aware.”

“Well, so the other day, I was over at her house after school and we were…fooling around…”

“Why do I feel like I’m not prepared for where this conversation is going? Go on, I’m listening.”

“Well, so, anyways, her hands started to wander and they wandered…under my…”

“Okay, okay! I get it,” Rafael said as he held up his hand. “What’s your question?”

“Well, after I…got off, I tried to return the favor.”

“And?”

“She didn’t seem to really enjoy it.”

“I am not giving you pointers on how to get your girlfriend off.”

“What did you do? How’d you learn?”

“Honestly? I read things; including your mother’s Cosmos.”

“For real?”

“Uh, yeah. All the time.”

“Does Mom know?”

“Yeah. She caught me in college once and I told her I had to stay ahead of the enemy game plan.”

“Do you still read them?”

“On occasion,” Rafael admitted. “Or even better, why don’t you ask her what she likes?”

“Seriously?”

“When it comes to…that…communication is key. I’m talking about with every part of it, from consent to what…feels…good.”

“Got it. Thanks, Dad.”

“No problem. Wait before you go…are you thinking about doing…anything else?”

“Not yet, Dad. Promise.”

“Okay. When you do, please…”

“I remember.”  
_________________________________________________-  
Fin and Izzy went to Hudson university to investigate the rape of college student Evie Barnes. She did porn to pay for her tuition and two boys from one of her classes raped her in the bathroom of a party they had invited her to. The video she participated in was called “18 with a Bang” and it was basically a rape fantasy video. Several more videos were brought to their attention that she had failed to mention.

“You okay, Sarge,” Carisi asked as Izzy practically slammed her purse onto her desk.

“There’s too many people on this earth. I swear we need a new plague.”

“One of those days, huh?”

“Yes. Dodds chewed mine and Fin’s asses over these fucking videos of Evie Barnes that we didn’t know about.”

“Sorry, about that, Izz.”

“Yeah, me too,” Nick told her apologetically.

“We all know victims omit details but this was big. God, I wish Liv would come back.”

“How’s Noah doing?”

“He got his tonsils out then ended up with an infection but she said that hopefully he’ll be able to go home in another day or two, Nick.”

“Good. So where do you want us to go from here?”

“Well, Buchanan is representing both boys and Pryor’s parents are footing the bill which means…” Fin started.

“He’s going to throw Matt under the bus,” Nick said.

“Maybe we should let him know that,” Rollins suggested.

“Then go do it,” Fin told them. “Who says we can’t supervise?”

“Right? Nothing to it,” Izzy laughed.  
____________________________________________  
Buchanan was threatened by the judge more than once for his conduct in the courtroom. When the one boy was found guilty, Buchanan filed a motion to have the verdict set aside. The judge agreed to look over everything before sentencing.

Izzy and Liv comforted Evie in court the day of the sentencing, when all hell broke loose. “I see genuine remorse here. What I did not see during the trial, however, is behavior rising to the level of the criminal charges brought against you,” the judge spoke. 

“Excuse me, your honor?” Rafael asked, clearly shocked.

“I do not do this lightly. Due to the lack of sufficient evidence, I accept the defense's motion to set aside the jury's guilty verdict.” 

“Your honor, this is an outrageous abuse of your power.” 

“Mr. Barba.” 

“There is no basis to overturn this conviction. Her testimony, the corroborator's testimony…”

“You don't need to approach the bench.”

“Your honor, you are making a factual determination. That is the jury's job, not yours!”

“Last warning. Sit down, Mr. Barba. Young lady I don't know if you desire the recently popular status of victimhood or if this was a publicity stunt to jumpstart your porn career, but given the evidence, there is no way to conclude beyond reasonable doubt that your "no" in this incident truly meant "no." I hope, going forward, you find a way to respect your body and yourself.” 

“What you are doing is giving men permission to assault a woman based on her sexual history. You're setting the clock back on rape law 50 years.”

“I warned you. Mr. Barba. Court officer…”

“Fine,” he said as he was walked out and held in contempt.

Izzy sat and watched as her husband was led out of the courtroom. This was the first time in his entire career he had ever been held in contempt. She was trying comfort Evie while worrying about her husband at the same time. She knew he’d be in courthouse lock-up but she’d have to pay his fine first.  
______________________________________________  
“What are you waiting for? Get me out of here,” he told her when she showed up.

“After I’m done savoring the moment,” she laughed.

“Funny.”

“Want me to let him out, Sarge?”

“Might as well, Robert,” she told the court officer.

“Thank you.”

“Oh, an hour in the slammer already harden you?”

“Knock it off,” he said with a glare as he picked up his jacket. “Did you get my briefcase?”

“Yes, it’s in my squad car.”

“You don’t have a car.”

“Yeah but it doesn’t sound the same when I say, ‘squad SUV’.”

“Whatever. Let’s just get out of here.”

McCoy laughed at the fact Rafael had been held in contempt. 

“I have been waiting on this for the last 6 years,” he laughed when Izzy and Rafael got back to his office.

“Jack, uh, to what do I owe…”

“I need to speak with you, Rafael. Sergeant would you mind terribly if I had a moment with your husband?”

“Not at all, Jack. I need to get back anyways. I’ll see you at home.”

Rafael just nodded, wondering why his boss was in his office.


	132. Chapter 132

She wore a Raspberry Beret  
The kind you find in a second hand store   
Raspberry Beret  
And if it warm she wouldn’t wear it much more  
Raspberry Beret  
I think I love her

Rafael walked into hear his wife singing the Prince hit from their kitchen and kind of smiled to himself. He loved her voice and hearing her sing always put him in a good mood. He could hear another voice, though, besides his wife and Prince Rogers Nelson.

“What are you two doing?” He asked when he found Izzy and Ella cooking dinner.

“Making your favorite and listening to Prince,” Ella answered. She was more like her mother when it came to music; she seemed to like the “classics” more than what was popular. 

“It smells great,” he told her as he placed a kiss on the top of her head and one on his wife’s cheek.

“Were you really in jail, Dad?”

“You told her, mi amor?”

“Come on. It was fun to watch and I’ve seen how you can get in the courtroom. Little shocked it didn’t happen sooner, I have to say.”

“What was it like?”

“I was in the courthouse lock up, by myself. Nothing major."

“Are there real bars?”

“Yes,” he told her as he rolled his eyes and started rolling up his sleeves.

“Did you…”

“You want to find out what it’s like, Rafaella?”

“No, sir,” she chuckled.

“Don’t you have homework?”

“Already done. It’s almost the end of the year.”

“Okay well why don’t you…”

“Find something to do. I got it. Jail has changed you.”

“Rafaella Elizabeth.”

“I’m going, I’m going,” she laughed as she walked out.

“So, what did Jack want?”

“He wants me to file an appeal immediately, which I spent most of the afternoon working on.”

“That’s it? The way he made it seem was like he wanted to talk to you about something important.”

“He did,” he replied with a nod after taking a drink of the scotch she had poured him.

“What?”

“He’s retiring.”

“Really? So, what does that mean?”

“Well, the Mayor said he can name his successor and that person will hold his position until the next election year.”

“So, who did he name?”

“Me.”

“You?”

“Yeah. Me. What do you think?”

“You would be acting District Attorney until next year?”

“Yeah. He said I could still prosecute cases if I want to every so often and I’d get the pay, too. Which I’d need the extra money to run a campaign when the time comes.”

“What are you going to do?”

“What do you think?”

“You said this is what you wanted eventually.”

“I know. So, you’d be okay with me running next year?”

“Of course.”

“I’m using this a step stone, really.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think maybe when the twins are halfway through college, I might run for mayor.”

“R-really?”

“Why not? I could do it. I already have a good relationship with the NYPD, I’ve put away some of Manhattan’s worst criminals.”

“Wow. What’s with all the political ambitions lately?”

“I can do more than what I’m doing.”

“Well, if that’s what you want to do.”

“We still have a few years to think and talk about it.”

“True.”  
__________________________________________________  
“He really said that?”

“Yeah, Amanda. He’s think of running for mayor in a few years.”

“I’d vote for him and you know Sonny would.”

“It’s still a few years away.”

“I heard your father in law might be retiring after this year.”

“That’s what he said. I think he’s gonna pull a Cragen and take his personal time to lead him into mandatory.”

“You know Liv’s taking the Captain’s exam when it comes up in two months?”

“Yeah, she told me.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“The Lieutenant’s exam?”

“I like where I’m at.”

“You’re telling me you don’t want to move up and make even more money?”

“How do you know what I make?”

“I saw your check stub on your lap top. No wonder you walk around in all those designer clothes.”

“Hush. It’s never been about the money for me.”

“I get it. Just like you’re going to get the check for lunch,” she laughed.

“What else is new?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you with all the fancy dinner parties you’ll be throwing at Gracie Mansion.”

“Shut up,” Izzy chuckled as she shook her head. “He’ll probably change his mind. He loves prosecuting too much.”

“Will he still be able to when he takes over for Jack?”

“Yeah just not all the time. He’ll have plenty to do.”  
_________________________________________  
“Are you ready for this?”

“I am, Mom. Following in your and dad’s footsteps.”

“And your Uncle Tony’s. We had to split the title of Valedictorian when we graduated high school,” she laughed as she moved a strand of hair from her daughter’s face.

“Aurora?”

“Yeah, Dad?”

“Are you ready?”

“I am.”

“You got your speech ready?”

“Of course. Thanks for your help by the way.”

“Sure.”

“I’m gonna go get my shoes.”

“Okay.”

“You doing okay, Daddy?”

“Yeah,” he replied as his voice cracked.

“You knew this day was coming.”

“I know. I’m both proud but sad at the same time.”

“We have three more to go, you know that.”

“I know but Rory was always…I know Cami was my ‘little princess’ but we always had a different bond.”

“Cause, like Matty, she’s the most like you.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Come on. Everyone will be waiting on us.”

“Camila better be on time.”

“She called and said she was almost into Manhattan about 20 minutes ago and she would meet us there.”

“Okay.”

“Munch even made the trip from Florida.”

“Wow.”

“Come on. Let’s go.”  
____________________________________________  
“Who are we? That is a great question. We've spent the last 13 years of our lives trying to prepare for that, but it isn't something that you can Google. Well, you can Google it, but make sure that you turn on the safe search first. There is no telling what your results might be,” Rory started her speech at the podium.

“However, Google won't tell us where our passion lies. It won't tell us who we are. And while some of us know, your parents are breathing a deep sigh of relief right now, others of us don't, sorry Mom and Dad. We don't know what we want to be when we grow up yet, and that is okay. Well, your parents might not think so when you are on your fourth major and they're paying your tuition, but it is still okay.”

“High school was fun, but we have turned a page in our life. We have moved from childhood into adulthood and now is the time to find our passion. It's time to learn what we want to be if we haven't figured it out or follow our dream if we have. So, parents, open up your wallets because studying philosophy isn't cheap.”

Liv, Brian, Fin, Melinda, Amanda, Carisi, Nick, Cynthia, Mike, Alice, Tony, Erin, the grandparents, and rest of the auditorium found her funny, especially her parents.

“You helped her write this?” Izzy whispered to her husband.

“I have a sense of humor,” he smiled.

“Teachers, your passion and dedication has helped us to realize that being first in line isn't a life or death situation. And thank you for understanding that dogs can eat anything from homework to gym shorts. True story. Faculty, thank you for putting up with us from our nose picking days to raging hormonal breakdowns. Through it all, you have been our rocks. So, as we take this final walk out of this school, we thank you all for helping us to answer the question of who we are.”

“We all make mistakes. I know that I have. Stealing Amber's boyfriend in 3rd grade was definitely a mistake, but I think I did her a favor. Staying up the night before ACTs was a mistake, but I'm standing up here with a scholarship to Harvard, so it wasn't that bad. I have made mistakes. Hundreds, no thousands, okay maybe millions, of mistakes within my short almost 18 years.”

“Have I learned from all of them? Probably not. But more often than not mistakes helped me to grow. I mean I learned that working on this speech just two days before today was probably not the best idea. But then again, I'm killing it right now, so time well spent. I also learned that I'll probably never volunteer for this again. So, as you can see, mistakes are all about learning.”

“As we bust through this new adventure in our lives, some call being a grown up, I call the end of freeloading, we will make mistakes. We will choose the wrong major and have to pay thousands extra in student loans, but we will learn to be more frugal. Honestly, we will probably just learn how to live on Ramen, but who knows? We will miss deadlines and be late, but all these things will make us grow and change. Our mistakes will become as important as our successes because they will define us.”

“So, don't aim for perfect, instead, it is better to be flawed. So, thank you, parents and teachers, for letting us make mistakes. Thank you for molding us into the imperfect creatures we are today. And most of all thank you for allowing us to learn from our mistakes as we move forward.”


	133. Chapter 133

“So, tell me about this guy you were dating?”

“Frankie? He’s…sweet,” Cami told her mother as they had lunch one day during the summer.

“Is it serious?”

“Do you mean have we slept together?”

“That’s what your grandfather meant when he asked if me and your dad was serious.”

“Ugh, yes, we have, Mom. A few times.”

“And how many guys have you been with at school?”

“Mom!”

“What? I asked a question and I want an honest answer.”

“Just 2. Frankie and this guy Jordan.”

“I see.”

“Mom I have my IUD and I made them use condoms.”

“Okay.”

“Did you and Nonna talk like this?”

“Yes, we did. Your grandmother didn’t want details but she wanted me to be honest with her. That’s what I ask of you girls.”

“Okay, Mom. I get it.”

“Good. So, have you decided on a major yet?”

“I did. I’m going to major in History and I want to be a high school History teacher.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I love History and I’m not the lawyer type. I know Rory is going Pre-Med but I don’t want to be in school forever.”

“If that’s what you want to do, then your Dad and I are fine with that.”

“Do you ever regret that you didn’t become a teacher?”

“Not for a minute. I love my job. I love protecting people.”

“And Dad loves fighting for them.”

“That he does.”

“Is he seriously thinking about running for Mayor in a few years?”

“I don’t know, Camila. I think when it comes down to it, he’d miss being in a courtroom. So, what else do you have planned today?”

“Thought about going to see Nonna and Pop-Pop.”

“They’d like that.”

“Nonna said that Pop-Pop was asked to become an investigator for the FDNY? Didn’t he retire a few years ago?”

“Yeah but that’s a different division or sorts. It’s actually akin to IAB.”

“You think he’ll do it?”

“Nah. He’s been enjoying his retirement,” Izzy laughed.

“When do you think Nonna will retire?”

“This is going to be her last year, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yep and Abuelita, too. Papa Dodds is retiring as well.”

“That’s what Abuelita was talking about when she said they were going on a cruise next year.”

“Yes, the four of them are planning a month long cruise to Greece and a few other places.”

“When do you think you will?”

“I’m only 45, Camila.”

“You and Dad have been married 20 years, you’ve been on the force for what…”

“This is my 22nd year. I have no intention of slowing down just yet. If Aunt Liv and Uncle Fin can hang, so can I.”

“Dad said you were up to take the Lieutenant’s exam?”

“I am.”

“So, who would be Sergeant?”

“Your Uncle Fin has finally agreed to take the exam. He said he’s only got a handful of years left so he might as well make some more money while he can.”

“Only Uncle Fin,” Cami laughed. “Okay, so you know how you like us to be honest with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Can you be honest with me?”

“Sure.”

“Have you ever smoked pot?”

Izzy just died laughing when her oldest daughter asked.

“What?”

“When I smoked pot, it was illegal, not even available medically.”

“Did you do it a lot?”

“Not really. Your Dad and Uncle did more often during law school. That was when your dad first tried it actually.”

“When did you?”

“Sophomore year of college.”

“Did Dad get mad?”

“No. He found me quite entertaining,” she chuckled. “Why do you ask?”

“I’ve tried it a few times…”

“You know it’s technically still illegal cause you’re only 19.”

“You didn’t drink before you turned 21?”

“We’re not talking about me. Look, I know you’re in college but please, if you go to frat parties, be aware of your surroundings.”

“I’ve heard you and Dad both say that you thought pot was safer than alcohol.”

“I understand that but it still can…”

“I know, Mom.”

“Just be careful.”

“Lo prometo, Mama. I’m always careful.”

“Are you moving into your Sorority house this year?”

“I am. Harvard didn’t have sororities?”

“They did but your Aunt Erin and I weren’t about that life. I had no interest in that kind of stuff. I was more interested in being a member of the Harvard Democrats…”

“With Dad.”

“Your Dad and I were both members, yes. He was president our Senior year. Your uncle and I were also members of the Italian Society. Your dad was involved in the Cuban-American Undergraduate Student Association, Democracy Matters, Latino Men’s Collective, Law Society, Mock Trial, plus his job.”

“What else did you do?”

“Let’s see…I started in the Catholic Student Association but dropped out when they wanted us to picket an abortion clinic. I was a member of the Harvard Glee Club, I tried to get your Dad to join but he wouldn’t. Uh, there was a Mental Health group I was involved in, too.”

“How did you two make time for each other?”

“We just did,” Izzy shrugged.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Camila.”

“How have you and Dad…you know…kept everything together all these years?”

“It hasn’t been easy but we just have, I guess. We respect each other, we love each other, we support each other. Your dad’s the love of my life.”

“But you guys have been together for almost 30 years and he looks at you like it’s the first time he’s seen you every day and you do the same.”

“You’ll find that one day. I think it might’ve helped that we became friends first and got to know each other. I mean we’d hang out without your uncle and aunt all the time. We’d just grab a burger or a pizza and talk for hours. Nothing was forced. It all felt…natural.”  
________________________________________________  
“You’re pregnant again?”

“Not so loud,” Erin laughed.

“I can’t believe this,” Izzy practically cheered. “You gonna make an honest man out of my brother or what?”

“Maybe one day,” she laughed.

“So, what does he think?”

“He thinks this one’s a boy.”

“He needs to remember his brother in law was pretty confident that Rory was a boy and uh-oh, wrong!”

“I don’t care, as long as it’s healthy.”

“I have a mix of both and I can’t tell you which is easier, honestly. RJ is asking his dad about hand jobs and what not. Cami’s sleeping with everyone at Wesleyan.”

“Izz.”

“Okay, I’m exaggerating about Cami but she’s been with two guys since she started college.”

“Oh my god,” Erin chuckled. “Not everyone is you.”

“I know but damn. Slow it down.”

“You didn’t tell Barba, did you?”

“Fuck no. You think I want to listen to that? So, are you going to stay with the FBI?”

“Yeah. Just desk duty again like with Adriana.”

“That drove me crazy every time I was pregnant but it was for my safety and my kids.”

“Very true. So, Jack’s retirement party is this weekend. Is he announcing his successor at the party?”

“Yeah, he is. Rafael is already nervous. He’s preparing a speech just in case. You guys will be there, right?”

“Of course. You know your brother makes us go to all those political shin-digs. You’re gonna have to start going to a lot more.”

“Don’t remind me,” Izzy scoffed, mockingly. “Oh, well. We do have a black Amex.”

“Barba will love those bills.”

“I have to play the part.”

“You’re gonna have to get a lot more cover up for your tattoos when he starts his campaign," Erin teased.

“Don’t remind me,” Izzy laughed as she shut the dishwasher and started it. “Rafael likes them but you know how some people still are, even after all these years.”

“Hell, deBlassio’s wife has admitted to being a former drug addict. So, what if you have tattoos, really?”

“Thank you but out of respect for my husband…he will be covering up the two on my shoulders.”

“You and your song lyrics.”

“They all have a special meaning to me.”

“I know. So, when are you taking Rory to Harvard?”

“Wednesday.”  
___________________________________________  
“Okay, we’re here,” Rafael said as they pulled up to the exact same Freshman dorm that he and Izzy had lived their first year at Harvard in.

Rory couldn’t get out of the Nissan Armada quick enough.

She popped the back and grabbed her luggage.

“She’s not wasting any time, huh?” 

“Not a minute, Rafa.”

They got out and started grabbing Rory’s things.

She was on the second floor as opposed to Izzy’s room on the third and Rafael’s on the fifth in 1993.

“Lot of good memories in this building,” Rafael chuckled as they sat Rory’s stuff down.

“Ew, Dad.”

“That’s not what I meant. Come on, let us show you something.”

“Rafa?”

“Come on, mi amor,” he said as he grabbed his wife and daughter’s hands, dragging them to the third floor.

They stood outside room number 312.

“What’s this, Dad.”

“This…is the place where your mother and I shared our first kiss.”

“In this hall?”

“Actually, against the wall,” he chuckled, “but right here. Outside her room after our first date.”

“I’m living the floor below where my parents first did it?”

“No! We did that in Brooklyn.”

“Mom!”

“You asked.”

“Damn, I guess I did.”

They helped her unpack her stuff and then Rafael insisted they go to the library.

“This is where I asked your mother out for the first time.”

“Dad come on,” Rory laughed. “Is that what we’re gonna do today?”

“I’m trying to get you familiar with the campus.”

“Sure, you are. What about this bench out here?”

Rafael and Izzy just sort of looked at each other at the bench, remembering the one night, after a party their Junior year that Izzy climbed on top of him and they had sex in public, even though it was 3 in the morning.

“So gross,” Rory said without them having to say anything.

“We didn’t do anything,” Rafael lied. “I just…held your mom as…we watched the snow.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Nice save,” Izzy whispered as the walked back to Rory’s building.

“I do what I can.”

“Okay, guys, I really appreciate you taking the time to show me all the places that led to my parents falling in love, thus creating me and my siblings but it’s a long drive back to Manhattan.”

“We know,” Rafael chuckled. “Your car will be delivered on Friday.”

“Thanks, again, Daddy.”

“Well, we bought Cami one so you need one, too.”

“But a Mini-Cooper? My favorite car?”

“You have the same rules as your sister when it comes to hers.”

“I know, Mom. Thank you guys so much again,” she smiled as she almost tackled her parents with a hug.

“You’re very welcome, Princesa. I know you’re gonna do so great here.”

“Thanks, Dad. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Mom don’t cry.”

“I’m okay. You’ve just grown up so fast and now here you are. Where your Dad and I met, got great educations.”

“You’re a legacy when it comes to the Harvard Democrats,” Rafael teased.

“I know, Dad. I will sign up as soon as I can.”

“Okay, bebita, we’re gonna head home.”

“Let me know when you guys get there.”

“We will.”

“I love you guys so much,” Rory told them with tears in her eyes.

“We love you, too,” Izzy told her with one last hug. 

Izzy and Rafael walked to the Armada.

“Two down, three to go, mi amor.”

“I know it. What are we gonna do, Rafa?”

“Enjoy some peace and quiet once our 7th grader is out of the house?”

“You know he said when he gets in high school, he’s thinking about going to summer school so he can graduate early?”

“He’s only going into the 7th grade, a year early, but he’s already thinking about that kind of stuff?”

“Apparently.”

“Maybe…if I win the election next year, I’ll be prosecuting cases with him as 2nd chair.”

“I think you’d be his 2nd chair, Raf.”

“We’ll see, cariño.”


	134. Chapter 134

“Oh god, Rafael,” Izzy moaned as he made love to her. Anytime she used his actual name it drove him crazy.

“You’re so tight, mi amor. So hot and wet,” he growled as he buried his face in her neck while he kept plunging in and out of his wife.

“God. Yes. Just…like…that…oh fuck.”

“Come with me, mi vida.”

“Hurry, Raf,” she told him with a whisper.

He rubbed against her clit even harder, even though he was hitting her g-spot perfectly.

“Oh…wow…oh my god!”

“God…damn...Elizabeth!” He moaned as they came together. “Fuck.”

“Damn, Rafa.”

He laid on top of her, kissing her as he finally finished emptying himself. 

Rafael pulled out once his dick started going limp and laid on his pillow.

“Jesus fucking Christ I swear you get tighter every time we fuck,” he told her as he caught his breath.

“I do my exercises, babe.”

“You don’t have to. You still feel like you did when we were 19.”

“Well, thank you,” Izzy sort of laughed as she ran off to their bathroom.

“Why do you always pee after we have sex?” He laughed.

“Because you’re supposed to!!!” She told him from the bathroom.

“You’ve only been with me, I’ve only been with you. You’ve had a hysterectomy…”

“I still don’t want a UTI,” she laughed as she climbed back into their bed. “We’ve done it three times today.”

“Well, what else were we gonna do with the day alone?”

“You could’ve taken me to a museum or something,” she teased.

“We hardly ever get time alone…I didn’t really think you’d want to spend the day in a museum.”

“Very true but the kids are home now.”

“Just be glad I didn’t take a Viagra.”

“Oh, jeez, Rafa.”

“You know you want to try it.”

“Soon. Come on. We need to get some sleep. I have a busy day tomorrow. I have to get my legs waxed, pick up my dress, get my hair done…”

“You mean you have a busy tomorrow. I don’t have to do anything but take a shower and put on a suit. I don’t know why you torture yourself like that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Having that hot wax spread out on your body and then it’s just RIPPED off.”

“I’ve never heard you complain…especially when you go in for a…snack of sorts.”

He grinned while biting his bottom lip.

“Am I wrong?”

All he could do was laugh. “And you say I’m crude?”

“I can slip one out every now and then.”  
____________________________________  
“Dad?”

“Yeah, Junior?” Manhattan’s Interim DA asked as he got the laundry out of the dryer.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Uh okay?”

“So, I’ve been thinking about…going all the way with Aimee.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, Dad.”

“You’re only 15.”

“But I’m a Sophomore.”

“And?”

“And I need some condoms.”

“Are you serious, Junior?”

“You wanted me to come to you when I was ready…”

“Is Aimee ready?”

“She said she is.”

“Hmm, yeah,” he sort of smiled.

“Wipe that smile off your face.”

“So, I know you’ve only been with Mom. How did you know when you were ready?”

“Uh…I just…we had been dating for a few months and started doing other stuff…”

“Gross!!”

“Why is that gross?”

“I don’t want you talking about Mom like that.”

“You seriously think I’d go into details? Get your head out of your ass, Junior. It was just the way I felt about her. I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with her. I never felt that with any of my other girlfriends.”

“So, since I did it with Aimee, I should plan on being with her for the rest of my life?”

“No, I don’t mean it like that. And you’ve already had sex?!”

“Last weekend, Dad.”

“You just sat here and told me…never mind! Tell me you used something.”

“I did, Dad. Aimee was kind of scared when she gave me my first blow job.”

“Jesus Christ,” Rafael muttered.

“Are we all that…well endowed?”

“I don’t know!”

“No wonder you and Mom have been together so long.”

“Junior!!”

“Sorry, Dad,” he laughed.

“Look, it’s both a blessing and a curse.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…hell I don’t know what I mean. I’ve only been with your mother. She didn’t have nothing to compare mine to.”

It seemed that some days, RJ lived to torture his father.

“The only thing is, I don’t know if she actually lost her virginity or not.”

“What do you mean, RJ?”

“She seemed…good at it.”

“Do I even want to ask?”

“She was making these noises…”

“Okay, that’s plenty. She probably was doing what she’s seen in movies.”

“Girls do that?”

“Yeah,” Rafael scoffed. “Do you know anything?”

“Not really,” his son shrugged.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t be doing it.”

“Dad.”

“It’s going to take a long time for you to learn…I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You’ve always told me…”

“I’m aware of what I’ve told you. Your mother has a stack of Cosmos in her nightstand, go grab some of them. I’m begging you.”

“Okay.”  
______________________________________________  
“No. No. He’s my…no.”

“Sorry, Izz but I’m afraid so.”

“He’s a baby.”

“He’s 15,” Rafael told his wife as he pulled the covers on to them.

“So?”

“We can’t expect our kids to be like us. We just can’t.”

“But couldn’t he have waited for another year at least?”

“Mi amor…”

“Ella will be next.”

“No, she won’t.”

“You can’t stop her. She’s been with Gil for a while.”

“I’ll kill him if he touches one flaxen hair on my daughter’s head.”

“You need to stop.”

“I mean it. I’ll lock her up. You can home school her.”

“I can’t quit my job, Rafa.”

“We’ll do something.”

“You still have Rory.”

“She hasn’t…”

“Nope.”

“We at least have one kid like us.”

“She’s always been shy when it comes to boys.”

“Well when her mother accosted one…”

“He was a punk, Raf. I stand by what I did and plus he helped us on a case. It was a win-win.”  
__________________________________________  
“They did what? I see. Okay. No, we’ll be waiting up for them, Amaro. Yeah, thanks for telling me.”

“What’s going on, Rafa?”

“Apparently, Gil decided to have some friends over knowing Nick and Cynthia both had to work tonight.”

“Okay.”

“Those friends invited more friends…”

“Is that right? And I’m guessing our twins were involved?”

“Carisi is driving a very drunk Junior home. Ella is sober, however.”

“Well, there’s the silver lining,” Izzy scoffed.

“They are both so grounded. I haven’t even begun to think of when they’ll be allowed freedom again.”

“Welp, let’s go and wait for them.

Rafael received the alert on his phone that the motion sensor outside had been activated and went to the door.

“RJ you need to be quiet. You know your Dad isn’t going to be happy.”

“That’s because he doesn’t like parties. ‘I’m Rafael Barba. I don’t like parties. I went to Harvard. I’m a smart, know-it-all party pooper.”

RJ had no idea his father was standing in the open door watching his son mock him.

“Uh-oh,” he giggled when his sister finally got his attention to turn around and he saw his dad. Then, without warning, he threw up all over his father’s $1,000 shoes.

“Son of a bitch,” he groaned. “Thank you, Carisi, for getting my two very grounded kids home.”

“No problem, Barba. Good luck, guys.”  
_________________________________________________  
“How you feeling this morning,” Rafael asked as he threw a pan into their stainless steel sink to make extra noise when RJ came in the kitchen.

“Please, Dad. I feel terrible. And, uh before you get started, I know what you're gonna say.” 

“Oh, really? What do you know?” 

“Um, that I was irresponsible and stupid. And I have it on good authority that I may have called you something. Like, um…”

“Know-it-all party pooper?" 

“For instance. But the point is, Dad, I'm really ashamed and sorry...and afraid.”

“Hmm. Okay. Well, that covers it. Okay. Good talk.” 

“That's it? I get off scot-free? I mean, I learned a valuable lesson?”

“Oh, you are completely grounded but maybe not as long as I originally planned. Oh, here,” he said as he handed his son a wrapped box. 

“Are you kidding me? I don't get in a lot trouble, and you're giving me a present? Actually, you know, this really smells,” RJ said as he seemed to fight back the urge to vomit.

“Yeah, those are my shoes from last night. Clean 'em, buff'em and shine 'em.”

“Oh, man.”


	135. Chapter 135

“Get your tongue out of my daughter’s mouth, Gilberto.”

“Sorry,” he said as blushed and he scooted to the other side of the couch.

“Dad, really?!”

“You’re lucky I’m letting him come over at all.”

“Fine,” she said as she crossed her arms.

“Is all your homework done?”

“Yes.”

“Then why don’t the two of you go outside and work on your lay-ups?”

“It’s cold, Dad.”

“It’s not that cold, Rafaella. It’s only September.”

“You know what, I should probably get home anyways. I’m lucky my parents are letting me out of the house at all.”

“Okay. I’ll see you Friday at the game?”

“I’ll be there.”

“I love you.”

“Love you, too, Ella.”

He started to kiss her again only to see Rafael watching him like a hawk and placed the kiss to her forehead instead before leaving.

“Do you really have to be like that, Dad?”

“What do you mean?”

“Embarrassing!”

“Oh, I embarrassed you? So, sorry,” he told her sarcastically. “When I see my 15-year-old daughter making out with her boyfriend in my house, I think I’m allowed to say something.”

“Well, if you’d let us go to my room…”

“I don’t think so.”

“Ever since you found out about RJ and Aimee, you’ve been taking it out on me. You had no problem with us going to my room before.”

“This has nothing to do with your brother.”

“Yeah, it does.”

“You know, you’re still grounded and I could always add to it.”

“This is…”

“Save it. I’ve already heard it from your sisters over the years. I pay the mortgage, I make the rules.”

“Mom pays it, too,” she mumbled.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“I didn’t think so. Go to your room before I add another week.”

“Fine,” she huffed as she walked upstairs.  
__________________________________________________  
“Dad where do you want this Contract and Torts book?”

“Over on that shelf by the window, Matty.”

“This office is even bigger than you’re other one.”

“That’s what happens when you’re the boss,” Rafael chuckled.

“Remember two years ago when you had that case with that baby?”

“Yeah.”

“Whatever happened to him?”

“Uh, well, shortly after I left here he ended up being removed from the machines and passing away.”

“And you removed yourself from that case because of your personal feelings because of Abuelito, right?”

“I did, basically, yes. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I was thinking about the case not long after that.”

“Which one?”

“When Mr. Stone was being threatened by those drug dealers or whatever and they said something about his sister that had all those problems.”

“Okay?”

“Wouldn’t it have made sense for him to remove himself from that case, I know it would’ve caused a mistrial but someone else could’ve refiled the charges and maybe his sister would be safe?”

“I think you might need to give him a job, Rafael,” Jack chuckled as he walked in to his now former office.

“He’s definitely intelligent to say the least.”

“Matty I think you’ve grown a foot since the last time I saw you.”

“It’s possible. I might even end up being taller than Dad one day.”

“Well, your brother already is. What can I do for you, Jack?”

“I stopped by your house and the Lieutenant told me you were here. I thought maybe you’d like to share one last drink,” he told him as he held up a bottle of MacAllen 12-year.

“Hard to refuse that. Matty run down to my old office and there’s a box on my old desk with some glasses. Bring that up here, please?”

“No problem, Dad.”

“He’s a good-looking kid, Rafael.”

“Thanks, Jack.”

“Well, you think you’re ready for the big job?”

“Do you think I am?”

“I wouldn’t have picked you if I didn’t. I knew you were destined to sit in this office one day and not just while getting an ass chewing from me.”

“I have to say, I was more than surprised when you promoted me to begin with.”

“Why wouldn’t I have? You have more balls than any prosecutor I’ve ever worked with. That’s what it takes to have this job.”

“Thanks, Jack.”

“If I didn’t think you could do this, I would have never recommended you.”

“Thank you, again.”

“I told you at my dinner, there’s no thanks needed. This is where you’re meant to be.”

Matteo came back in with the box from his dad’s old office and went back to unpacking.

“So, Matty, how’s 7th grade?”

“Not too bad, Mr. McCoy,” he shrugged. “The work is a little more challenging but I don’t mind it too much.”

“You never shy away from a challenge, much like your father,” Jack chuckled.

“The challenge is what makes it interesting.”

“Maybe this one should’ve been your namesake.”

“His mother and I have said the same thing,” Rafael laughed. “Speaking of, Matty what was your brother doing?”

“He was talking to some girl.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me? That kid is teenage hormones from hell, I swear.”

“Must be the new intern,” Jack mentioned.

“Yeah, Stone’s got her working overtime.”

“He doing okay?”

“Seems to be. He’s sober, going to meetings. He seems a lot clearer headed these days, I will say.”  
_____________________________________________  
“Mom?”

“Yeah, Ella?”

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure.”

“Where’s Dad?”

“He took your brothers to finish moving his old office into his new one.”

“On a Saturday?”

“Not a lot of people in the building on weekends usually. So, what’s up?”

“Okay, so you know Gil and I have been together two years?”

“Yeah?”

“Okay…so I’m just gonna ask it.”

“What is it, Rafaella?”

“How did you know you were ready with Dad?”

“Ready for what?”

“To…you know…have…sex?”

“Seriously?”

“Come on, Mom. You’ve always wanted us to be honest with you.”

“Fine. There was just something between us. I don’t know how to describe it. We had been together 6 months, I was head over heels in love with him. He was the first guy that ever respected me in that manner, with the exception of Antonio but that was something different. Your dad…he was…everything I wanted.”

“Earth to Mom.”

“What?”

“You were drifting,” Ella laughed. “That’s how I feel about Gil.”

“I know you think you do but honey, you’re only 15.”

“Ok, so maybe we’re not soulmates but I do love him and he’s always treated me with respect. Yeah, I know that maybe we won’t last forever but I know how I feel about him right now.”

“Okay. So, have you done anything?”

“Just hand stuff, you know. Hit almost every base, I’m just not waving him home yet.”

“And you’re wanting birth control?”

“Yeah. Is that okay?”

“I did it for Cami so yeah, I’ll make you an appointment but I really want you to think about this before you do anything.”

“Mom you and Dad were only together 6 months…”

“But we weren’t 15, either. We were almost 20. Just…I know you’ve got all these hormones going through you right now but April isn’t that far away…”

“You’re birthday is 24 days away, Mom. Look, just because I want to get on something, doesn’t mean I’m ready to jump in bed with him. I just want to be prepared if it does happen.”

“He better be prepared, too. It’s not just your responsibility.”

“I know. Will you not tell Dad yet?”

“What is it with you and Cami making me keep things from your father?”

“I told you what he did last week…”

“Fine, okay. I get it. I won’t tell him…yet. But I will have to eventually.”

“Okay. Thanks, Mom.”

“No problem. When did you grow up?”

“I have no idea,” Ella laughed before stealing the remote from her mother.

“Hey!”

“The guys are gone. Let’s watch ‘Glee’. We haven’t done that in a long time.”

“Turn on Netflix then," Izzy smiled as she brought her daughter closer to her.


	136. Chapter 136

“No, I love you more. No. No. No, Gil.”

Rafael got tired of hearing his youngest daughter gush to her boyfriend as she sat on the couch so he grabbed her iPhone out of her hand. 

“Okay, we've established that she loves you, Gil. Goodnight.”

“Dad!”

“I pay the bill.”

“But come on. You’re being ridiculous. Mom!!”

“What’s wrong?” Izzy asked as she came into the living room.

“Dad just totally embarrassed me…AGAIN!!”

“What did you do, Rafa?”

“I was talking to Gil and he just took the phone out of my hand and hung it up.”

“No, I told him that you loved him and goodnight. Then I hung up the phone.”

“Still.”

“You should’ve heard her, Izz,” he told his wife as he started mocking his daughter.

“That’s not funny!”

“Okay, okay. Ella you need to be getting ready for bed anyways. You have two games tomorrow.”

“Fine, I’m going. Can I have my phone back?”

“There’s an extra charger in our room. It’ll be okay.”

“Dad!”

“Rafa give her phone back.”

“I’ll be upstairs. You don’t know when, either, so I wouldn’t get back on that phone.”

“Fine.”

“Rafa.”

“What?” He snapped.

“You know, I’m starting to think Ella is right.”

“About what?”

“You’re being a little harder on her than you were Cami and she pulled some shit on us in her day.”

“I am not.”

“You didn’t do that kind of stuff to her.”

“I didn’t have to listen to it with Kevin. She at least did that kind of crap in her bedroom.”

“We used to be like that.”

“Yeah but we didn’t have cell phones attached to us.”

“Maybe not but I still have a box in the basement, full of notes you used to write me when you were in class. Telling me how you couldn’t wait for your World Politics class to end so you could spend the rest of the day holding me or the ones you’d write for me to find when you’d go back to law school.”

“Stop.”

“Are you getting embarrassed?”

“No. I remember what I used to write to you. That was completely different. She’s constantly on the phone with him, if she’s not texting him. I think…I think they need some time apart honestly.”

“Raf…”

“What?”

“You didn’t start this until you found out about Junior and Aimee.”

“Yeah and now he’s already dating someone new. I don’t want her doing that. It’s like once the seal was broken on your son…”

“She’s not him. And if you tell her she can’t see him, she’s gonna do like her oldest sister and go behind our backs.”

“Fine. But I’m going to start limiting her time on the phone and his time over here and her time over there.”

“Fine.”

“You know, I have two boys and all I have to worry about are two peckers, that’s it. With the girls, I have to worry about every other pecker out there.”

“I get it but Gil isn’t…he wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.”

“So, we think.”

“Raf.”

“I’ve got some files to look over.”

“Don’t stay up too late,” she smiled as she kissed his cheek.  
_________________________________________________  
“I’m telling you, Fin. You should’ve come to Friday night’s game.”

“Amaro said that boy just went flying over Junior. When did he get moved to Quarterback anyways?”

“This year. Coach wanted to try him out and now he’s back-up and only a Sophomore. That guy really thought he was gonna get him and Junior threw that ball, which was ran in for a touchdown by the way, bent down, and that boy went flying. It was some straight ‘Remember the Titans’ stuff.”

“Sounds like you might have the next Tom Brady on your hands, Izz.”

“Blech. I hate Tom Brady and you know that. Now, Dak Prescott on the other hand.”

“How are you gonna live in New York all your life and be a Cowboys fan?”

“My dad,” she laughed. “That’s who we grew up watching.”

“Amaro said him and Gil were basically unstoppable Friday night.”

“Next Dak Prescott and Ezekiel Elliot.”

“RJ thinking of turning it into a career?”

“He told his dad the other day that he wants to play college football.”

“How’d that go over?”

“Rafael just told him that was fine but not to put all his hopes on going pro cause it doesn’t always happen, plus he could get hurt, you know. He needs to figure out something else as a back-up.”

“How tall is he now?”

“Almost 6 foot.”

“Bet the Counselor loves that,” Fin chuckled.

“Yeah, having to look up at his son? Matty is as tall as me and he’s not done growing.”

“How did they get so tall when you two are short?”

“You’ve seen my dad and my brother. Tony’s 5’11, my dad is 6’1.”

“I tell you, this night shift shit is for the birds.”

“What time is it anyways? Jesus, 2:00.”

“Why don’t you go take a nap, Lieutenant?”

“You sure, Sergeant?”

“I can hold down the fort for an hour or so.”

“I don’t want to come find you asleep at your desk, drool pooled on your laptop.”

“I can handle it, Shorty,” Fin laughed.  
___________________________________________________  
“I said no and that’s final!”

“What a weekend to come home,” Rory laughed as she heard Ella and her father arguing again.

“Don’t get me started,” Izzy said as she rolled her eyes. “So, how’s school been?”

“Uh, really good,” she smiled.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I, uh, met this guy.”

“Really?”

“I think you’d like him. Dad probably would, too. He’s Pre-law.”

“Where’s he from?”

“Chicago actually. He knows Eva and Diego.”

“Small world. So, how long has this been going on?”

“Nothing’s really going on…yet. I mean I like him but I don’t know if he likes me or not.”

“What makes you say that?”

“He had a girlfriend back home that he had been with for a while but they broke up. I don’t think he’s ready to date just yet.”

“How did you meet?”

“He actually lives on the fifth floor of my dorm, in Dad & Uncle Tony’s old room,” she laughed.

“Wow.”

“We have a lot of classes together and we’re in a study group together. Sometimes after we study, we go grab something to eat.”

“Who pays?”

“We both do. I mean we take turns. What’s with the smile?”

“Sounds like a very familiar story.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not too fond of you right now, either!!” They heard Rafael say from upstairs.

“Are they still arguing really?” Rory chuckled after they heard two doors slam.

“It’s constant, Rory. You thought him and Cami used to argue? Ella has given her run for her money.” 

“What are they arguing over now?”

“The Winter formal. Your Dad said that she couldn’t go.”

“But RJ can with his latest flavor of the week?”

“Well, to be fair, Ella is grounded because of her grades but it’s just one dance before Christmas break and she’s on the committee…she’s called him a hypocrite, he’s called her a brat. It’s just…I’m starting to get migraines. I go to work to get away from them.”

“How’s Aunt Erin doing?”

“Getting bigger,” Izzy laughed. “Uh, actually. They just got the news that they are expecting twins.”

“Are you serious?”

“Your uncle passed out when they had the ultrasound done,” Izzy laughed.

“You and Dad raised two at once. I mean well, you had me and Cami then two at once. They only have Adriana.”

“I don’t know if one of them’s gonna see their 18th birthday. But the funny thing is, your uncle was sure he was having a boy, he’s getting two.”

“Oh, wow. I’m almost regretting going to college so far away.”

“I swear, Elizabeth, your daughter...”

“Uh, hi, Dad.”

“Rory I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were here,” he smiled as he hugged her.

“Since the beginning of your argument with Ella,” she chuckled.

“Your sister is determined to kill me.”

“You always said that about the three of us when we had our periods at the same time.”

“Well, she’s gonna finish the job alone.”

“Just let her go to the dance, Dad.”

“Oh, you, too, with this?”

“Come on. It’s one dance before Christmas.”

"Well, if she’d stop worrying about Gil so much and keep her grades up maybe she could go.”

“Dad.”

“I’ll think about it. Your mother put you up to this?”

“No, she did not. She just told me what was going on.”

“Hey, I actually defended your decision, Raf.”

“I’ve already had Junior asking me to let her go.”

“He’s just cares about his sister, babe.”

“I guess. Like I said, I’ll think about it.”


	137. Chapter 137

“Raf?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Of course,” he said with a smile as she joined him in bed.

“This whole thing with Ella and the dance…”

“Mi amor we hold our kids to certain standards and she came home with three C’s on her report card. That’s unacceptable.”

“I know, it’s just she’s helped plan this being on the activities committee and everything. It would kind of suck for her not to be able to enjoy it.”

“I have Junior coming to me, Rory over the weekend. You said you backed my punishment.”

“And I do but just maybe…can you lighten up a little?”

“Do you think I was unreasonable? What would your parents have done had your grades slipped like that when you were dating Dawson?”

“I, uh, honestly, I don’t know. Most of my relationships in high school didn’t work out because I concentrated on sports and books. And the fact I wouldn’t put out. I mean, I blew off time with Antonio to study for things I knew like the back of my hand…”

“I know my in-laws and I don’t think they would’ve liked it at all.”

“Rafa…”

“Okay! Fine! You all win! My word means nothing.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. Don’t you remember what it was like when we were two years in?”

His face softened as he looked at wife. “Yeah,” he admitted quietly.

“Yes, we still kept our grades up and I don’t mind you limiting her time with Gil or anything like that but maybe she could enjoy the dance?”

“Okay. She can go but her curfew is going to be firm. I’m not wavering.”

“And I think that’s very fair, Raf. Thank you.”

“You just want the mother/daughter shopping trip,” he lightly teased.

“Oh, hush. You bought RJ a new suit, took him to your tailor mind you.”

“Fine. Go spend our money on a dress she’ll only wear once,” he told her as he rolled his eyes.

“This won’t be the last time I do that, you know? Gil’s Junior prom at least, and then her Junior and Senior prom.”

“We only had a Senior prom. Why do these schools feel like they need to add another?”

“I don’t know, Rafa.”  
________________________________________________  
“10:00? Dad that is so unfair.”

“It’s 10:00 or you don’t go at all. Your choice.”

“RJ gets to stay out until 11.”

“He’s not grounded. I’m being very generous by letting you go to begin with. Am I not?”

“Yes, sir,” Ella answered her father as she looked at her feet.

“And you better thank your mother and your brother many times cause they’re the ones that convinced me.”

“Okay.”

“And those three C’s…”

“I promise, Dad.”

“We’ve always just expected you guys to do your best but three C’s tells me you’re not even trying. Look, I know what it’s like to be in love in high school and even more so in college, but I still kept my grades up and so did your mother.”

“I know.”

“I’m not above not letting you see Gil at all. The only reason why I let him come over one night a week is because his dad is one of mine and your mother’s best friends.”

“I know.”

“I think you two spend way too much time together but…”

“Dad…”

“But, I’m willing to give you this one night.”

“What about the Junior prom?”

“We’ll discuss that next year. It’s only December. You’ve gotta get your grades up first.”

“I will.”

“Okay. I know you think I’m being harder on you than I was Cami and maybe I am but you remember some of the things she put us through?”

“Yeah, Dad.”

“Sorry that if you feel I’m being tougher on you but your oldest sister is kind of responsible for that.”

“I’ll be sure to thank her at Christmas.”  
______________________________________  
“What are you boys doing?” Izzy asked when she found Rafael and Matty in his home office in front of his chess board.

“Shh, cariño. He’s got me screwed I think.”

“Make…yo…move…playboy,” Matty taunted his father. 

“Watch your mouth. I’m thinking, alright?”

“Taking an awfully long time…Dad.”

“And checkmate. Now, you want to talk some more shit to me?”

“That’s alright. I’ll get you back. You can count on it, old man.”

“I’m still young enough to kick your ass.”

The three of them just sort of laughed.

“That was a good move, Dad. Can’t believe I didn’t see it.”

“What have I told you?”

“Not to look for the obvious move.”

“Right. That’s how I always beat your mother.”

“You’ve lost a few games to me, Mr. Barba.”

“Not in front of the boy,” he chuckled.

“You’ll get him, Matty. I’ll tell you how next time.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I’d do anything to help my baby boy.”

Matteo just grinned that huge shit eating grin he earned from his father.

“So, is everyone coming over tonight?”

“Pretty much,” Izzy answered her son. “I’m not sure about Uncle Fin and Aunt Melinda yet. They have Jayden and Rosie (his little sister).”

“Do I have to babysit Noah and Jesse?”

“Not tonight. I thought you liked to hang out with them.”

“They’re kids, Mom.”

“I mean I thought you liked to be their boss,” she laughed.

“Yeah, a little bit. I’ve been bossed around enough in my lifetime.”

“Be thankful you have older siblings, mijo.”

“I know, Dad but, and no offense, I don’t think Abuelita could’ve handled more than just you.”

“Is that a fact?”

“I’ve heard stories.”

“I see. Well, I’m gonna have a little talk with Abuelita the next time I see her.”

“Come on, you two. Gil will be here soon. You need to see your daughter.”

“Okay, mi amor.”

Matty made the sound of a whip crashing as the three of them walked out of the home office.

“Keep it up, Matteo Vincent. You’ll go without an allowance next week.”

“My bad,” he laughed as he walked down the stairs in front of his parents.

“Your son.”

“That’s 100% Barba in that child,” Izzy told her husband.

“Whatever,” he scoffed.

“How do I look?” RJ asked as he came out of the kitchen.

“Will there not be food at the dance?”

“I need a snack before, Dad. You know all these protein supplements and what not…”

“Fine. You look good, mijo.”

“A taller version of your father.”

“You had to throw that in there, cariño?”

“Of course,” she shrugged. “Ella!”

“I’m coming!”

She came down in a very elegant red gown. Her blond hair in very tight curls her mother had worked on for over an hour.

“Dad?”

“You look beautiful, mija.”

“Thanks,” she blushed.

“I see you’re wearing Bibi’s diamond necklace that she gave your mother after we got married.”

“Is that okay?”

“Claro que si, princesa,” he smiled. “Sólo ten mucho cuidado con él. Es más viejo que yo (Just be very careful with it. It's older than me).”

“Te lo prometo, papá.”

The doorbell rang, signaling that Gil had arrived, along with Cynthia and Nick.

“Here he is,” Nick laughed as they walked in.

“You look very handsome, Gil.”

“Thanks, Aunt Izzy.”

“Are you still gonna call her that if you two get married?” Nick teased.

“Amaro.”

“Come on, Barba. I’m kidding.”

“Thank you for letting me take her,” Gil told Rafael.

“You’re welcome. Curfew is…”

“10:00. He knows, Dad.”

“10:30.”

“Really?” Ella asked with a smile.

“I’m in a good mood.”

“Thanks, Dad,” she told her father as she hugged him.

“I mean it though.”

“Are you listening, Gilberto?”

“Yeah, Dad. 10:30. I’ll have her here.”

“You better. Rafael comes looking for you, I can’t save you.”

“I got it. 10:30.”

They let Cynthia and Izzy take a few pictures before their car arrived and they left. It wasn’t long before everyone started to show up.  
_________________________________________  
“Okay, you two don’t make me come in there,” Erin said as she looked down her shirt, making everyone laugh while they were trying to play “Celebrity”.

“Phoebe Buffay?” Amanda laughed.

“It’s not even our turn, Rollins, and she’s not a celebrity. These two just won’t stop. Izzy how did you do this?”

“It wasn’t easy. I used to get woke in the middle of the night cause Ella and RJ would be kicking each other and me. It was awful. I was apprehensive to have another one cause I was worried about having another set of twins.”

Liv came back with another bottle of wine.

“We’re up all night to get lucky,” she sang as she danced her way back into the living room.

“You okay, Captain?” Carisi laughed.

“I’m feeling wonderful, Carisi. Just feeling the music.”

“Enjoy your handful tonight, Cassidy.”

“What’s that mean, Barba?” She asked as serious as could be.

“Nothing? Save me, Izz.”

“You’re on your own.”

“You want to be on your own tonight,” he whispered.

“Do you?”

He sat and thought for a minute. “No ma’am.”

“Didn’t think so.”

It was supposed to be Amanda and Carisi’s turn but Liv turned the stereo up as Fleetwood Mac’s “The Chain” started playing.

“I want to hear Barba and Izzy sing,” Melinda laughed.

“Why us?”

“I’ve heard Izzy in the bullpen and she always says you can sing.”

“Hey, do you still have that ‘Let’s Sing’ game?” Amanda asked.

“Unfortunately,” Rafael laughed.

“Come on, let’s break it out.”

“Yeah, Rollins has a good idea,” Mike chuckled.

“I think you’ve all had too much to drink.”

“Come on, Barba. Let’s have some fun.”

“Carisi I am the acting District Attorney…”

“Nobody’s gonna record it and even if they do, who’s gonna see it?”

“Ugh, fine. I’ll get the XBOX out of RJ’s room.”  
__________________________________________________  
Once it was hooked up and the game was found, it was time to “party”.

Matty had come to get some more pizza out of the kitchen when he saw Cassidy doing “The Billy Madison” dance while he sang Culture Club’s “I’ll Tumble 4 Ya”.

“I hope I’m not this weird when I’m old.”

“Room, Matteo!”

“I’m going, Dad,” he laughed.

“Come on, Fin. This is our jam.”

“Alright, Shorty,” he snickered as he got up to meet his longtime friend and duet partner to sing the Jackson 5’s version of “Who’s Loving You”.

“Okay, Barba. You’re turn,” Liv slurred after drunkenly getting through ABBA’s “Fernando”.

“Ugh, fine.”

“What was that song you used sing to my sister?” Tony laughed

“Shut up, Tony.”

“Come on. Sing it.”

“Fine.”

He went through the menu and started singing Billy Joel’s “Shameless”. Izzy could remember when he would sing that to her on their trips back to New York from school.

She was almost in tears once he finished. His voice was amazing and she always loved to hear him sing.

“We’re back!” Ella announced as she, Gil, and RJ came in at 10:20.

“You’re early,” Rafael noticed. 

“The dance was kind of boring, Dad. What are you guys doing?”

“Playing that karaoke game you begged me for two years ago and played maybe three times.”

“Who’s winning?”

“Your mother of course.”

“Would it be okay if we hung out for a little bit?”

“Yeah, sure,” he said as he waved his hand.

“I’m gonna go get changed.”

“Uh-uh, Gilberto. You stay down here,” Rafael told him.

“Yes, sir.”

“What happened to your date, Junior?”

“She was using me to get back at her ex.”

“I’m sorry, mijo.”

“Eh, it’s okay,” he shrugged. “I just wanted a piece anyways.”

“Rafael Junior!!”

“What, Dad? You’ve always wanted me to be honest.”

“There’s this thing called ‘TMI’ and you’ve crossed that line a few times,” he told his son as everyone else laughed. “The line is a dot to you, now!”

“Sorry.”

“Go get changed.”

“You’re gonna have grandkids like me, soon, Barba.”

“That’s not funny, Fin. Don’t even joke like that.”


	138. Chapter 138

“Raf?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you awake?”

“Yep,” he answered as he rolled toward his wife. “Can’t sleep either?”

“No, I can’t. Something has to be done about Junior.”

“You are absolutely right,” he said as he turned on the lamp and sat up in their bed. “I didn’t appreciate that little comment one bit.”

“Me either. We didn’t raise him like that.”

“Oh, I agree. I don’t know where that shit is coming from but it’s about to end.”

“I’m not blaming his friends or teammates but ever since he got to start those last four games, his head has grown. It wasn’t that big when I pushed him out of me.”

“Well, first thing tomorrow, I’m gonna have a little talk with my namesake. That sort of shit ends now. I never acted like that. Hell, I didn’t feel a girl up for the first time until I was his age and he’s walking around, thinking girls are disposable. I’m not having it.”

“Thank you, Rafa.”

“I knew that’s what was bugging you. I couldn’t myself because I’ve been too pissed.”  
________________________________________  
“So, the dance was boring, huh?” Izzy asked Ella as they ate breakfast the next morning.

“It started off kind of fun but I just really wasn’t into the music. They completely changed the playlist I had made and I just wanted to come home.”

“I get it. Well, at least you were home before you’re curfew.”

“I know. Thanks for letting Gil hang out a little longer last night, Dad.”

“Sure, Princesa. Your Uncle Nick was still here anyways.”

“Yeah, but you could’ve made me go to bed,” she laughed.

“That’s true.”

“Nobody wants to ask me about my date?”

“We’ll talk after breakfast, Junior,” his father told him with a glare.

“Did I do something wrong? I was home way before…”

“I said later. Finish your breakfast.”

“Are we really not going to church today?”

“Not today, Matty. If you want to go, you can call one of your grandparents. I don’t mind.”

“Nah, I guess I can stay home today. I need to sharpen my chess skills anyways.”

“Junior help your sister and brother clean off the table and finish the kitchen. Then I want you in my office.”

“Yes, sir.”  
________________________________________  
RJ didn’t know why his dad wanted to speak to him about the dance in private but did as he was told.

“You wanted to see me, Dad?”

“Sit down.”

“Am I in trouble, seriously?”

“A little bit actually.”

“What did I do? I mean…”

“I said sit down,” Rafael told him through clenched teeth. “And shut your mouth.”

He still had no idea what was going on and was getting a little scared. He could tell his dad was angry.

“Your little comment you made when you got home last night? Your mother and I were not amused.”

“Dad I was just joking around. Everyone else laughed.”

“I don’t care what everyone else did. Did you see me or your mother laughing? No. I don’t know what is with you. You treat girls like trash. You get what you want from one and toss her aside. You’re only 15.”

“Almost 16.”

“Not for another 4 months. I have raised you better than this. I have always showed you how to respect women.”

“By bending over backwards for one?”

“What did you just say to me? Okay, yeah, maybe I do ‘bend over backwards’ for your mother but she does the same for me. How would you like it if you overheard Gil say something like that about your sister?”

RJ just sort of sat in the chair, not saying a word.

“I asked you a question, Junior. I expect it answered.”

“I’d be pissed off, okay?”

“That girl you were with, she is somebody’s daughter and I’m assuming somebody’s sister.”

“She has a brother.”

“Uh-huh. Good thing he didn’t hear that. He would’ve probably kicked your ass and you would’ve deserved it, in my opinion. You think I’ve ever said anything like that about your mother in front of your uncle especially?”

“No, sir.”

“You have two other sisters. Are you going to tell me you’d honestly be okay if you knew a guy was just using them for sex and bragging about it?”

He just shook his head as he swallowed the lump in his throat while fighting tears. His dad was right and he felt about two inches tall at the moment.

“I know you’ve been ‘big man on campus’ cause you got to be starting Quarterback at the end of the season when the other one got hurt and that’s a big deal considering you’re only in the 10th grade. But I’m telling you now, no girl is gonna want to be with you with the reputation you’re building and the ones that will want to, you wouldn’t want to be with, trust me. You know what, get something that AJAX can’t get rid of, then maybe you’d wake your ass up.”

“Dad,” he groaned with a sniffle.

“Ask your Uncle about having to be tested for an STD when we were in college.”

“I thought he was always with Aunt Erin.”

“They weren’t always ‘exclusive’ at first and one such time when they weren’t, he got burned. He told me he’d rather get kicked in the balls by his sister than go through that test again.” 

“I understand.”

“Do you? You get a girl pregnant, you’ll be the one taking care of it. Not me or your mother. We’ve raised our kids.”

“I get it, Dad,” he told him as he wiped his eyes.

“I mean it, Junior. Your attitude toward girls better change and fast. I have never acted like that in my life. Hell, I respected women so much, I was damn near afraid of them. You also need to realize, you have sex with one of these girls and toss them aside, they could very well say you raped them.”

“I would never…”

“Maybe not. It’s sad to say but your mother and I have dealt with girls in cases that have said they were raped when they weren’t. They just wanted revenge for being dumped. Keep that in your mind, too.”

“I’m sorry,” he choked out.

“There’s no more talk of that kind around here or anywhere, I mean it.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Look, I love you and I know I can’t make your decisions but I need you to make the right decisions. You need think about how they can affect everyone, not just you. ¿Entiendes?”

“Yeah.”

“Until then, you’re home with your sister every night until I decide you can go back out.”

“Dad.”

“Don’t push, Junior or you won’t play hockey this year.”

“Fine.”

“And I want you to apologize to your mother, too.”

“Okay.”

“I think that more or less hurt her when you said that. I was ashamed, myself. We didn't raise you to act like that. Jokes are jokes and fun is fun but that was way over the line.”

“You're right, Dad," he said as he wiped his eyes.

“Yeah, everyone thought it was funny but they aren’t your parents. We are. We have to deal with consequences of your actions as well as you do.”


	139. Chapter 139

“What are you ladies doing?” Rafael asked as he found his wife and two oldest daughters in their basement.

“I was looking for that thing we got when I was pregnant with the twins that we never used.”

“You’re gonna have to be a little more specific, mi amor,” he laughed.

“You know that carrier thing.”

“Oh yeah. Didn’t Tony actually buy that?”

“I think so.”

“And you’re regifting it? Seriously?”

“Is this it, Mom?”

“That would be it, Rory. Thank you. And I’m not regifting it. He asked about it. You know how cheap my brother can be.”

“This looks a lot more convenient than just carrying them would’ve been,” Cami chuckled as she took the box from her sister.

“Yeah but when it came to all of you, we just preferred to carry you. We’d put them in their stroller, I’d carry Rory while you walked beside your mom.”

“Who is this ugly baby?”

“That would be you, Rory,” her dad told her.

“You looked like an alien.”

“You didn’t look so great either when you were just an hour old,” Rafael told his oldest daughter.

“Aww, look, it’s Riggs,” Rory remarked sadly. “He was so funny.”

“He was huge! He used to take up our entire couch but he was funny,” Rafael agreed. “I’d come in from law school and would have to fight to get in the bed cause of him. He would not want to move. I’d stay up late, doing homework, though and most of the time, he’d sit with me until I was finished.”

“Oreo just follows Matty everywhere he goes.”

“Yeah, she’s always been a little partial to him,” Izzy laughed. 

“What are these things?” Cami asked as she opened another box.

“I thought you were looking for one thing?”

“Come on, Dad. This is fun. Seriously, what are these?”

“Those, my young child, are these ancient things we used to listen to music on called cassettes.”

“You’ve seen those before, Cami.”

“On the internet, Rory. I’ve never actually held one. These all have hand written track listings. I know this handwriting, too,” she smiled as she looked at her dad. “Ew!”

“What?”

“These are all sex songs!”

“Give me that,” he said as he took it away from her.

“Gross, Dad. You’ve got that sicko R. Kelly on that.”

“That was way before anyone knew he was a sicko. That was a good song.”

“I’ll bet it was. ‘Bump n’ Grind’? I bet so.”

“Knock it off, Camila.”

“Your Dad and his mixed tapes,” Izzy smiled.

“What’s this one?”

“Uh, let’s see. This was a tape your dad made for me of songs that reminded him of me.”

“If I Can’t Have You?”

“That was the first song we danced to.”

“Seriously? Like on your first date?”

“No, actually it was before that. There was a party after finals our first semester. It was 70s themed. Your Aunt Erin and I went out and found these ‘Saturday Night Fever’ type dresses at a resale shop in Boston and some how…”

“Don’t.”

“Your Dad and Uncle Tony found outfits like John Travolta wore in that same movie.”

“Stop, cariño,” he pleaded again.

“Please keep going,” Cami laughed.

“Anyways, the four of us didn’t have dates. Your Dad was still coming off his break-up with Yelina, Erin wasn’t dating anyone, I had dated this guy named Jackson that was studying religion and so arrogant. He was a Junior, I think. Because I still believed in Catholicism, he basically mocked me on our dates, and when he found out I had no intention of sleeping with him, he well, he ghosted me but I didn’t really care and your Uncle Tony’s girlfriend was away at school so the four of us decided to go together.”

“What did Dad wear?”

“Okay, you guys have seen ‘Saturday Night Fever?” “Yes,” Rory answered as she rolled her eyes.

“Did he have the white suit?”

“No, Cami. He had on these tight black pants, this red button up shirt and black leather jacket, much like Travolta in the opening scene. I think I actually still have a picture of that somewhere.”

“No, you don’t. I destroyed it a long, long time ago.”

“Rafa! I loved that picture of the four of us. Besides, I thought you looked good that night. So, anyways, Jackson had actually been talking to me when he would get the chance, either apologizing to me or trying to convince me that I had blind faith in my religion or some shit. Your dad could see that I was not enjoying myself, so he came up and asked me to dance and that was the song that was playing. That’s when I found out your dad could dance. Wait! Here it is.”

“Oh my god, Dad.”

“Give me that.”

“Uh-uh! Mom could your dress have been any shorter?”

“It wasn’t that bad,” she told Rory referring to the multi colored dress with one ¾ length sleeve.

“Tell me those boots weren’t used.”

“Of course not, Cami. Well, except by me.”

“I’m going back upstairs.”

“Come on, Dad. This is fun,” Rory pleaded. “Do you have anything you can play these on?”

“I think we got rid of them over the years once the technology was dead.”

“But Mom still has a record player.”

“You can still find vinyl. That’s different. I do, however, have a way to play the song,” he smiled as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned on the Yvonne Elliman’s 1977 hit.

Suddenly, they were 19 again as the girls went back upstairs, leaving their parents alone to share a dance.

“I almost kissed you that night, you know?”

“Really?” Izzy asked as she tilted her head.

“I came so close but…I just…I was terrified.” He grinned after twirling her back around to him. 

“I do remember your hand seeming to shake when we first started dancing.”

“I internally cussed myself when I laid in bed.”

“It just wasn’t the right time yet,” she smiled.

“I got over it two months later, though.”

“I remember very well.”  
______________________________________________  
Meetings with city officials, including the Mayor, telling ADA’s when to proceed with cases and when not to, getting his campaign off the ground, plus worrying about RJ and Ella’s hormones was taxing on both Rafael and his wife.

“Come on, baby, I am too tired tonight.”

“But…”

“I’ll make it up to you tomorrow, Rafa, I promise.”

“That’s what you said last night.”

“We have been so busy. I mean dinner with the mayor and his wife last night. I’ve been trying to make sure everyone is caught up on their paperwork, which they’re not. I’m exhausted.”

“Okay. Tomorrow night, then.”

“I promise.”

“I love you.”

“Love…you, too,” she yawned as she rolled over and fell asleep within no time.

He sort of laid there, sort of listening to “Seinfeld” playing in the background. He was that kind of tired where no matter how hard he tried, he still couldn’t fall asleep.

He looked over at his alarm clock. 12:15am. He had been laying there for over an hour and finally got up. He grabbed his phone and went upstairs to his office, locking the door behind him. 

Instead of turning on the light, he just flipped the lamp on as he sat in his chair. He turned on a pretty dirty video of his wife going down on him he had made a couple of months before. 

He felt his cock start twitching as he watched the video of her taking every inch of him in her mouth. He reached into his bottom drawer, where he kept a small bottle of lube if they ever needed it when they would sneak up to his office for a quickie. He squirted just enough into his palm.

He reached into his pajama bottoms, bringing his cock out enough as he started twisting the base like his wife would do. He tried to concentrate on the video, the moans that came from her and him but soon he was imaging his cock sliding in and out of her.

It was only a few minutes before his penis took over his brain and everything went numb. He bit his bottom lip to keep himself quiet as he shot his release onto his stomach. It was a release he had needed for a while.

He took off his shirt, cleaned himself up, and quietly went back to bed. Now, he could fall asleep.  
___________________________________________________  
“Hey, Mike?”

“Yeah?”

“Let me ask you something,” Rafael said to his step-brother as they sat on the couch, waiting for Bill, watching the Yankees Opening Day game.

“Sure.”

“You and Alice…everything…okay with you guys?”

“Yeah. Why you ask?”

“You have ever had any issues…you know?”

“Not really. Are you…you having problems?”

“Not like that. It’s just, you know, we used go at it, a lot. I mean a lot. I’m lucky if it’s once a week now and she’s not even there half the time. I mean she literally feel asleep while I was…you know,” he said as he pointed downwards.

“Well, we’re all getting older and maybe you just got her really relaxed.”

“Can you guys believe this game?” Bill asked he came in.

“So, Rafael, what is the problem?” 

“Hey, Mike, this is a pretty good game. We should just shut up and watch it, right?” 

“What problem? What are you talking about?” Bill asked. 

“Nothing, Bill. Absolutely nothing.” 

“Sounds like Rafael's having a little trouble south of the border.” 

“Oh, yeah? Mr. Johnson not showing up for work?” Bill joked. 

“There's nothing wrong with me, all right?” 

“Rafael, look, why don't you just ask Dad what you asked me?” 

“Would you stop, Mike?” 

“What? We're all men. Dad, look, how many times would you say that you and Lucia…” 

“Oh, somebody kill me,” Rafael groaned as he covered his face and slunk down on the couch. “I already know the answer, all right? Your sex drive diminishes as you get older.” 

“Hey, speak for yourself, Rafael.” 

Rafael was praying a hole would open up in his couch and swallow him.

“What? Look, you may not want to hear this, but as far as your mother and I are concerned, the saints are still marching in.” 

“All right, you don't have to exaggerate, Dad,” Mike laughed as he took a drink of his beer. 

“Hey, in this department I speak the truth. 

"You want to be honest? Let's be honest. Mom told Izzy how much things have slowed down between you two,” Rafael told Bill, hoping the conversation would end there. 

“Well, I might not be where I was at your age, but I think a couple of times a week is pretty good.” 

“A couple times a week? Holy shit!” Rafael could not have felt worse. 

“That's right. And now if you'll excuse me, all this talk has kind of put me in the mood,” Bill laughed as he pretended to slick back his hair and got up to leave.

“Don’t touch my mother!” Rafael called out after him. “You had to do that, Mike?”

“I was just trying to help.”  
____________________________________  
“All I’m saying is we should be having sex three times a week.” 

“Where did you get that from?” Izzy laughed. 

“These are the numbers, man. If we want be doing it twice a week 20 years from now, we should be doing it three times a week now.”

“Raf come on. We have both been…”

“We’ve never been too tired for sex. We have 5 kids to prove it!”

“I’m so tired of this conversation!”

“And I’m so tired of sneaking up to my office and masturbating to get to sleep every night! We’re 46, we’re not dead!”

“Is that right?”

“I’m sure not!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Before either of them could think, they were practically ripping each other’s clothes off. He sat her up on the kitchen island before entering her.

She wrapped her legs around his waist to pull him closer to her as he went at her. Both of them moaning between kisses, one of his hands was tangled in her blond hair as he continuously pumped into her before his orgasm hit him like a waterfall crashing onto him.

“Sorry,” he panted before pulling out of her.

“For what?”

“You didn’t…”

“I’m okay,” she smiled as she caught her breath. “You can make it up to me.”

“Unlike you, I keep my promises,” he said with that smirk before picking up their clothes.


	140. Chapter 140

“She’s suing the NYPD for $15 million and still comes to this event?” Amanda asked referring to defense attorney Nicky Staines as they stood at the bar during some police philanthropy event.

“I don’t ask those kinds of questions anymore,” Izzy laughed as she sipped her vodka cranberry while her husband, Fin, and Sonny carried on a conversation with Ms. Staines.

“How’s Erin doing with bedrest?”

“Bored out of her mind, driving my brother crazy. She’s got 6 weeks left.”

“How far did you make it with the twins?”

“They were four weeks early. I carried them almost to term.”

“You two having fun?”

“Of course, Chief,” Rollins answered with a smile.

“Enjoying your last event?”

“I am, Izzy. I’ve lost your mother in law but I’m sure I’ll find her soon enough,” he chuckled.

“Bill are you going to introduce me?”

“Of course. Amanda Rollins, Elizabeth Barba meet Rob Miller, co-counsel to our lawyers on the civil rights lawsuit.”

“The case that Nicky Staines is litigating.”

“So, you've heard of me?” The very tall man asked Izzy.

“Well, you did make the top ten attorneys in "New York Magazine" last year.”

“It's what you get for picking up the check at lunch with a starving publisher. That and $2.75 gets you a ride on the bus.”

“Don't believe it,” the Chief told them, “Rob is one of the people who really runs this town.”

“Hardly. Can I say I'm a huge fan of the work your unit does?”

“Always nice to hear.”

“That a Georgia accent? Loganville?”

“That's a first,” Amanda replied, surprised.

“I went to school down south. Lieutenant, nice to put a face to a name. The DA is a lucky man.”

“Thank you.”

“Ladies.”

“Mr. Miller have you met our Captain, Olivia Benson?”

“Haven’t had the pleasure, Lieutenant. It’s lovely to meet you, Captain. I was just telling your two very charming detectives that I admire the work your unit does.”

“Ah, well, thank you,” Liv smiled.

“Can I get you a ladies another round?”

“I actually have two teenagers and a 12 year old at home. Plus, my husband has a meeting with the Mayor first thing in the morning.”

“Yeah, and I have a babysitter on the clock,” Amanda added.

“As do I.”

“Well, maybe you and I can have a drink sometime,” he said to Liv.

“The Chief knows how to get a hold of me. Ladies?”

“Thank you for making an appearance. I need to find my wife myself.”

“Of course, Chief. Well, what do you guys think?” Liv laughed as they walked over to the guys.

“I think Mr. High-Powered lawyer was making the moves on you,” Amanda teased.

“Don’t you have a boyfriend at home, Liv?”

“As a matter of fact I do, Izzy. I don’t need any reminders.”

“I was just saying.”  
_____________________________________  
“Can you believe what happened to Liv last night?” Nick asked as they filed in. “And with Noah in the car?”

“We all need to watch our backs. She had one drink with Rob Miller and that happened? Some shit is about go down.”

“Where’s she at anyways, Izz?”

“She was going to 1PP to talk to Dodds.”

“I mean this all happened after she threatened to arrest him.”

“Like I said, Nick, we need to all watch our backs. Just like Rollins said, he recognized her ‘Loganville’ accent when there’s no such thing. He knows too much on all of us, apparently.”

“Why is everyone just standing around?” Liv asked when she walked in and headed to her office.

Izzy followed her and closed the door. “You okay?”

“How do you think I am, Izzy?”

“Look, Captain…”

“Have you ever been searched in front of one of your kids?”

“No. How’s Noah holding up?”

“Well, he cried when I left this morning. Brian and I are letting him stay home from school. My son has been through enough and now this?”

“I’m sorry, Liv.”

“Well, your father in law has actually agreed to help us with one last operation before he leaves.”

“Seriously? He’s gonna come out in the field?”

“I’m as shocked as you are,” she said as she sat at her desk. “He’s arranging a meet with Miller for this evening. You and I will be listening.”

“If you say so.”  
________________________________  
They sat in a car not far from where Dodds met with Miller, listening as he told Miller his Captain and her Lieutenant would not let the rape accusations go. “They were like dogs with a bone,” he told him.

“Nicky’s not going to testify,” he replied to the Chief smugly.

“I know both Benson and my daughter in law. They are both very capable of convincing her otherwise.”

“I can have it taken care of.”

“How so?”

“No Nicky, no case.”

“What are you trying to tell me?”

“What’s going on here? I’m your attorney, Bill.”

Izzy and Liv got out of the car to arrest Rob Miller for the rape of Nicky Staines.

“Anything I said is inadmissible. Attorney/Client privilege. You should know better, Lieutenant.”

“Well, the funny thing about that is the Chief waived that privilege when he put on that wire,” she told him as she tightened the cuffs.  
________________________________________  
“So, I had interesting day,” Rafael told his wife a few weeks later.

“What’s that?”

“Nicky Staines came to me, looking for a job.”

“Really? She’s switching sides?”

“She wants to.”

“What did you say?”

“I told her I would take it into consideration. Prosecuting is a lot different than defending.”

“You think she can handle it?”

“After what happened to her and what she said to Liv about tearing victims apart on the stand, I think she could. I just don’t have a place for her at the moment honestly.”

“Perhaps there’s an opening in Tony’s office?”

“I asked he said there wasn’t. He sounded pretty exhausted when I talked to him, actually,” Rafael kind of chuckled. “I guess the boys are on opposite schedules and Adriana’s jealous.”

“Well, they’re only two weeks old. It’ll get it better. Ella and RJ were on opposite schedules for their first month at least. If I’m not mistaking, Cami was a little jealous of them.”

“God, I remember. So, you know last year I had that legal conference during our 20th anniversary?”

“Don’t remind me. I will never trust Amanda or Erin to make me another drink as long as I live.”

“I was thinking that when the girls come home from school this summer, maybe we can take a vacation to make up for it.”

“That was a year ago, babe,” she laughed. “Our 21st in in two weeks.”

“I know but the girls are old enough to take care of things while we’re gone. We haven’t really been anywhere since our second honeymoon.”

“Can you afford to take time away from the campaign?”

“What’s one week? Especially when I’m running unopposed.”

“I guess it couldn’t hurt,” she smiled. “Where do you want to go?”

“I was thinking maybe St. Lucia. Another room with a private pool,” he said with that smirk.

“Sounds like a plan. What time did you tell RJ to be home?”

“10:30.”

“Guess that talk you had with him in December got through to him.”

“I’m hoping. He has been with Reese for a couple of months now and he’s not walking around like the playboy he thought he was so I’m thinking he hasn’t slept with her.”

“I hope Matty doesn’t act like that when he gets to be that age.”

“Come on. Let’s see what’s on TV, cariño,” he told her as he led her to the couch.

They ended up falling asleep while watching “That 70s Show” on IFC.

The sound of the alarm beeping made them stir a little, causing Rafael to look at his watch before laying his head back on the couch.

RJ saw his parents asleep and tried to sneak up the stairs. He sort of danced around thinking his parents had no idea he was an hour late. 

“Goodnight, Junior,” his mother told him.

“You’re grounded,” Rafael added.

Instead of quietly walking up the stairs, RJ literally stomped up them to his room.

“That kid watches too much TV, I swear,” Rafael yawned. “Guess we can go to bed now.”

“Do we have to?” Izzy groaned.

“Tomorrow is Saturday. I guess we don’t have to,” he told his wife as they stretched out on their couch with her rolling over and settling against his chest.

He took the wool throw from the back and covered them up as they just fell back asleep.


	141. Chapter 141

“Please take him,” Tony groaned as he walked into his sister’s house with his boys and handing Trey (Anthony Vincent Rossetti III) to his brother in law.

“Uh, okay,” Rafael said as he took the baby in his arms. “You okay, Tony?”

“I am exhausted, Rafi. Henry sleeps while Trey’s awake and vice-versa. How did you and my sister do this?” He practically whined as he sat down with a sleeping Henry still in the twin carrier he was wearing.

“Where’s Erin?”

“Home with Adriana who has an ear infection.”

“It’ll get it better, Tony.”

“Easy for you to say.”

“You think me and your sister had perfect babies? Oh my god. The twins would be up in the middle of the night then Rory would get up and want to get in our bed. Ella would sleep better during the night, RJ slept better during the day. It took us weeks to get them on a decent feeding and sleeping schedule. The only one of our kids that fell into a routine when they came home was Matty surprisingly.”

“I know it’s gonna take time but man, I’m 46. I feel like I’m too old for this shit,” Tony joked. “So, where’s my sister?”

“Prepping with Stone.”

“Oh, the big Rob Miller rape case coming up?”

“My migraines have gotten worse during this whole thing. I just want Stone to put him away so it can be done.”

“You thinking of hiring Staines still?”

“She’s been in intensive therapy from what Liv says. She’s ready to fight for the victims now. I’m thinking after the trial, I’ll give her a test run of sorts.”

“I’ve hated going against her. It would be nice to have someone like her on our side, like Rita used to be.”

“True. So, Hank gone back to Chicago yet?”

“He left yesterday. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that he helped raise Erin, saved her life for the most part, never gets to see Daniel but I wanted my apartment back.”

“I think the worst for us was after Matty came home. Your parents, my parents were in and out non-stop.”

“I remember your mother and my sister getting into it.”

“First and only time they ever did but your sister was going through so much back then. Sure, Mami was just trying to help but she just ended up making things a lot worse for your sister. And of course, I felt helpless, the girls were worried out of their minds. The twins were too young to realize anything was going on other than Izz was…well, sad.”

“She came out of it though.”

“Yeah, she did,” Rafael smiled. “So, are you guys done having babies?”

“I have my vasectomy scheduled in two weeks.”

“Are you two ever going to get married?”

“We’ve actually been talking about it. Might do something like Eddie and Lori did. We don’t need the big wedding and plus Erin balks at the idea of wearing a white dress. She’s 46 with 3 kids. That doesn’t exactly scream virgin.”

Trey started squirming in his uncle’s arms and made a little stretch as he looked up at him. It wasn’t but a moment before he started fussing. “Hey, hey. Uncle Rafa’s got you. You’re okay.”

“That’s his hungry cry,” Tony told him as he handed him a bottle.

Rafael sat and fed his nephew and remembered what it was like to hold and feed all five of his kids and sort of chuckled.

Tony noticed the look on his brother in law’s face. “You ever regret not being able to have any more kids?”

“Honestly? Yeah, sometimes. Don’t say anything to your sister though. I mean she couldn’t help what happened and I had to make the decision to save her. I did what had to. That part I will never regret.”

“You guys could’ve always adopted.”

“I suppose but with the amount of hormones going through this house right now, I don’t think we could handle another one. The twins will be going into their Junior years soon, Matty is going to be 13 next February and if he’s anything like his brother…god help us.”

“Izz said he’s seemed to calm down after you ripped his ass before Christmas.”

“He seems to have but then again, who knows to be honest. I just know he’s gonna make us grandparents before we turn 50.”

“Maybe not.”

“We can only hope.”

Tony stayed with the boys for a little while longer and got ready to go. 

“I’m kind of glad I never used this thing,” he laughed as he helped get Trey in his side of the carrier.

“Why?”

“Cause you look ridiculous, Tony.”

“Well, Erin and I aren’t always attached at the hip,” he said with a glare.

“You do have a double stroller. I know because we bought it for you.”

“I can’t believe you let my sister spend that much money on a stroller.”

“She bought it before I could say anything and she knew I wasn’t going to make her take it back.”

“And you wonder why she’s so spoiled.”

“No, I’ve never wondered that. I’ve wondered why I keep indulging her.”

“Cause you get to have sex on a regular basis. Get your head out of your ass, Barba.”  
_______________________________________________  
“You’re kidding. Come on, Miller made his $500k bail and now he's trying to poison the well. Just like he did with that file on his victim, Nicky Staines,” Nick said when a manila envelope had been delivered to Izzy’s desk with pictures of Stone seemingly with hookers.

“Jesus Christ. This is Delia Wilson all over again,” Amanda groaned.

“Maybe not. Maybe this is just looks worse than it is.”

“Come on, Sonny. This girl right here? Liv and I collared her four years ago before Stone ever came here. I can’t count how many times she’s been picked up.”

“Okay, Lieu but maybe she’s turned her life around.”

“Sparkle? I don’t think so. It’s the only life she’s known since she was 14. She ran away from home, was turned out by an ex-boyfriend, he was murdered and all his girls were either picked up by Delia or Bart Ganzel. Sparkle stayed on her own.”

“How has she posted bail?”

“Looks like several different men over the years,” Fin answered as he looked up from his laptop. “And get this; the last person to post bail for her: Peter Stone.”

“When was that, Fin?”

“Three weeks ago.”

“Time stamp on this photo is actually three days before she was picked up again. Okay get these TARU, make sure they’re real. Rollins see if Stone has posted bail for any other pros.”

“Copy that.”

“Where you going, Lieu?”

“Talk to the DA. Let him know what’s about to come down. Amaro?”

“Right behind you, partner.”  
_________________________________________________  
“And the pictures?”

“Carisi was taking them to TARU but you and I both know where this is going.”

“Fuck.”

“Maybe he just knew her and he was the only person she knew to call?” Amaro offered.

“Like Carissa Gibson meeting with you at the precinct?”

“That was different, Izz. She was scared.”

“It still put you under investigation for prostitution.” 

“She’s right, Nick.”

“You know that case…it was the catalyst that cost me my marriage,” he said as he sat down in one of the leather chairs in Rafael’s office. 

“That whole thing was a mess,” Izzy agreed.

“And you guys are sure that Rob Miller is behind this?”

“Come on, Rafa. He’s got information on everyone in the unit. He knew Amanda has from Loganville. He knew I graduated from Harvard, knew Nick…”

“I get it but we have to have solid proof that Stone is keeping company with prostitutes. Nick could be right.”

“We’ll keep digging then.”  
_________________________________________  
“This can’t be happening,” Liv said as she rubbed her temples. “All these pictures of Stone with all these hookers, his financials showing where he was dumb enough to use a credit card, all leaked to the press.”

“Barba has to be splenetic.”

“That’s not even the word, Fin,” Izzy said quietly as they sat around Liv’s office.

“Mistrial and Miller goes free.”

“Bad thing is he wasn’t the only ADA to be found using these…escorts. There was a couple in my brother’s office as well. The mayor has launched investigations into all the DA’s offices.”

“What does this mean for Barba’s campaign?”

“Well, there’s no one running against him but that doesn’t mean someone can’t pop up.”

“Cap you think Nicky will testify again?”

“I don’t know, Fin. You saw how hard this was for her the first time.”

“What’s gonna happen with Stone?”

“Soliciting prostitutes? You know how this goes, Fin,” Izzy answered. “I mean, come on. He’s been accused of rape…”

“Which he was cleared of.”

“I know that, Carisi, but a murderer walked free because he showed up drunk to the trial. I had to administer the breathalyzer. Now this? I mean, I’m not in my husband’s head but this isn’t going to end well.”

“Not with the amount of press the DA’s office is getting especially,” Liv added.

“Speaking of which, he has a press conference this evening. I need to go home and get changed.”  
____________________________________________________  
Izzy had ran home and changed into a gray skirt with a pink button up shirt, putting the match gray blazer over it.

“How long is this going to take?”

“I have no idea, Ella. There’s going to be several questions about your Dad’s campaign, I’m sure, not to mention the mistrial, the status of Stone’s position in the office. He’s not going to be in a good mood when he gets home so if you guys would be…”

“I know, Mom. We’ll order a pizza. We’ll be fine.”

“Okay, we’ll be home later.”

The Uber she had ordered arrived and she left to meet her husband at 1 Hogan Place. 

She saw his old office, which Stone had moved back into dark and found Rafael pacing in his office upstairs.

She was surprised to find Jack sitting in one of the chairs as Rafael sat down on his desk.

“Lieutenant. Always a pleasure,” he smiled as he stood up to shake her hand.

“What brings you around, Jack?”

“Well, after watching the news for the last few days, I knew someone might need a few words of encouragement. He can’t control what an employee does with their free time, unless it puts this office and it’s integrity in jeopardy.”

She just sort of nodded as Jack sat his glass down.

“This isn’t a reflection of you, Rafael. Remember that.”

“Thanks, Jack. Are the vultures already swarming?”

“I had to use the service entrance,” Izzy told him.

“I’ll leave you two alone. Remember, honesty.”

“Got it.”

She could tell her husband was nervous as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“You want me to fix you a quick drink?”

“Sure,” he smiled.

“Mr. Barba?”

“Yes, Carmen?”

“The reporters are waiting in the conference room.”

“We’ll be right there, Carmen. Thank you.”

“It’s gonna be okay,” his wife told him as she fixed his tie and kissed his forehead before handing him his gray suit jacket.

His hand was trembling as they walked to elevator to go to the main conference room. He had held several press conferences over the years, spoke to the press on the steps of the courthouse, and had even engaged in a small argument on camera with Rita during the Adam Cain trial. This was completely different.

Carmen and a few ADA’s met them as he walked to the podium. He introduced himself and addressed the accusations against Peter and the news that effectively at 4pm that afternoon, Peter Stone no longer was employed by the Manhattan District Attorney’s office.

Izzy was surprised there wasn’t more questions about Rafael himself. He explained that thorough investigations were being conducted in the other boroughs DA’s office and that while a mistrial had been declared in Robert Miller’s trial, charges would be refiled and he would lead the trial himself.

After the press cleared out, he wanted a quiet dinner and a stiff drink.  
______________________________________________________  
“So, what did you tell Stone?”

“I simply told him that I had no choice. It took so long for this office to recover after the Delia Wilson scandal, this office couldn’t afford another one similar to it at all. The fact that he bailed one of his ‘friends’ out of jail and then she and other’s testified to him paying for sex, some of them two at a time? I just didn’t have a choice.”

“I get it. Are you going to offer Nicky his position?”

“I can’t right now. I’ve got to get up to speed on Miller and take him back to trial first. It wouldn’t look good if I hired her at the moment. Plus, I was thinking I might offer the position to someone else.”

“Who?”

“Well, O’Dwyer mentioned Carisi.”

“Seriously?”

“The thought had crossed my mind before he said anything. I don’t know. Maybe with him and Amanda settling down, he’s ready to get out of the line of fire so to speak.”

“Maybe so,” his wife agreed.


	142. Chapter 142

“You’re sure about this, Carisi?”

“Yeah, I am, Nick.”

“Barba’s giving you an opportunity…”

“I know, Izz, but I’m just not ready to hang it up yet,” he said with a look to Amanda. 

“Okay then. I’m not going to argue.”

“Being a cop seems to have grown on me more than I thought it would,” Carisi laughed.

“That’s not what’s grown on him,” Fin whispered to Izzy.

“What’s so funny?”

“Mind your business, Carisi. It’s Commanding Officer business,” Fin chuckled.

“So, Nick, you and Cynthia going to continue to live in sin?”

“I could ask the same about you and Melinda.”

“Ooohhhh, he’s got you there, Sarge,” Amanda added.

“We’re happy the way things are, thank you, Amaro. You and Cynthia have a son.”

“I don’t know. We’ve discussed it. Maybe once Gil goes off to college and we can really be alone.”

“Please, Izzy and Barba have been able to get it on with 5 kids in the house.”

“Amanda!” Izzy blushed.

“What? You have.”

“But it’s not as fun. You have to be quiet or sneak around, wait till they’re all asleep. We got one day alone a month, if that.”

“I bet those walls shake on that day, too.”

“Stop, Amanda,” Izzy giggled as she turned an even darker shade of pink.

“Still so shy.”

“Leave me alone. Don’t you have a mileage book to catch up on?”

“Nope.”

“Memo book? Time sheets?”

“All of my paperwork is done,” she smiled.

“Then why don’t you and Carisi go home?”

“Hey, wait, Fin wants to bust on me about Cynthia what about you two?”

“What about us, Nick?”

“When are you going to make an honest woman out of Rollins?”

“One of these days…if she’ll learn how to cook,” Carisi teased.

“Hey, I help you when you cook.”

“I’m still waiting on you to use everything I’ve taught you and surprise me one day.”

“If you play your cards right, it could happen one day…Dominick.”

“Okay, take the foreplay out of my bullpen, you two.”

“Good-night, Lieu,” Amanda laughed as she picked up her jacket and they left.

“You guys feel like a drink?”

“Not tonight, Fin. With this trial starting up and Rafael actually prosecuting, he’s more stressed out more than usual.”

“How’s that possible?”

“No idea, Nick, but it is. So, since it’s a decent hour, I’m going to cook dinner so he can lock himself in his office for the rest of the night.”  
________________________________________________________  
“How’s it going?”

“I’m going through all the statements, hospital records that Stone had. This should’ve been over and done with if he hadn’t made bad choices in his life. Miller’s lawyer wants to discuss a plea in the morning.”

“What? 5 years?”

“I’m not accepting anything below double digits; the first one being 2.”

“You still got it,” she smiled as she sat on the arm of his chair and rubbed his shoulders.

“Once this is over, we get the girls home from school, then it’s just a week, you and me.”

“I can’t wait either. I’ve finished my shopping already.”

“I saw your new bathing suit,” he smiled up at her. “Trying to make me feel bad?”

“What do you mean?”

“You seriously think I’m going on the beach with the way I look?”

“What’s wrong with the way you look?”

“You know.”

“No, I don’t.”

“I’m fat.”

“Will you stop? You are not fat.”

“My shirts and vests have seemed to disagree lately.”

“So, up your workouts to three a week instead of two…if that.”

“How?”

“Run with me and Rollins in the mornings.”

“You two would leave me behind.”

“We can start off slow. Nick works out, so does Mike.”

“I’m not going to get magically get in shape before our trip.”

“So? Is that why you’ve been insisting on turning off the lights when we have sex?”

“A little,” he shrugged as he sipped the scotch she had fixed him. “I don’t think you’d find it really sexy when you’re on top to watch my belly jiggle that fucking Santa Claus.”

“When I’m on top, I’m not watching anything but your face. I watch the way your eyes roll back in your head when I start moving in that circular way you like,” she whispered as she took his earlobe gently between her teeth, causing chills to run down his spine.

“Y-y-you know I can worry about this tomorrow,” he told her as he closed the file and stood up. “Are the kids asleep?”

“They’re…occupied and old enough to know what a closed bedroom door means.”

“Well, follow me.”

“Lights on, Counselor?”

“Absolutely.”  
______________________________________________  
“You have to help me!”

“You haven’t started a fire, have you, Rollins?”

“No, Izzy! Can you please just come help me? I wanted to surprise Sonny with dinner and I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“You know he was just kidding about…”

“I know but he’s working late, finishing the Miller files and his mom has the girls.”

“Okay. Give me 30 minutes and I’ll be there.”

“What’s wrong, babe?”

“Amanda is trying to cook dinner for Carisi and of course…”

“Rollins can’t cook,” Rafael laughed.

“You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah. I’ll save your food for when you get back.”

“Thank you. Just think. A few more days.”

“I’m counting them down, mi amor,” he told her as his hands gripped her hips while pulling her to him for a kiss.

“Amanda can figure it out.”

“Go. Your friend needs you. I would think last night should hold you off for a day or two anyways.”

“Hmm, maybe. I’ll be back.”  
________________________________________________________  
Izzy arrived at Amanda’s apartment and helped her finish the dinner she had started.

“You were doing fine actually.”

“I’m just so nervous. This is the first I’ve ever done something other than order take out.”

“You’ve done fine. You look a little flushed. You feeling okay?”

“Well…the reason why I’m surprising Sonny with this dinner is because…”

“You’re pregnant again.”

“About 7 weeks.”

“Wow. We’re you guys trying or…”

“No. Just kind of happened,” she shrugged.

“This is…wow! Congratulations!”

“Thank you. Don’t tell Barba…”

“Come on, Amanda.”

“Just tell him not to tell Liv yet.”

“He won’t. This is so exciting. You knew the other day. Is that why he wouldn’t take the ADA position?”

“He doesn’t know, duh.”

“Right, sorry. Why didn’t he take that position?”

“He wants to stay where he’s at is what he told me. I mean he asked what I thought about it and told him that I’d stand behind whatever decision he made.”

“Well, I think everything is in order and he just text me and said he and Amaro were leaving for the night so I better get out of here. Everything is going to be great. Let me know how it goes.”

“I will thanks again for your help.”


	143. Chapter 143

“One week, just us,” Rafael said as they got to their villa in St. Lucia. He rested his chin on his wife’s shoulder as she laid her head against his.

“Whatever shall we do for the week, Mr. District Attorney?”

“Hmm, I have a few ideas,” he chuckled before kissing her neck.

“Your ideas usually end up with us naked.”

“What’s wrong with being naked? That is how God intended us.”

“Hush,” she laughed while playfully slapping his arm. “Seriously.”

“Seriously that’s all I have planned for the week. I mean yeah there’s some meals in there but for the most part…nakedness.”

“Rafa.”

“When do we get to just be naked at home,” he kind of whined.

“You wanted a lot of kids, remember?”

“That’s because of the fun we had making them,” he told her with a wiggle of his eyebrows causing her to giggle that college Freshman when they first started dating. “No, I do have dinner plans for us at least three nights. On Monday, I have a surprise booked for us.” 

“Really?”

“Yep. Just you, me, and…”

“And what?”

“It’s a surprise, mi amor.”

“You know how I am about surprises.”

“That’s what makes it fun for me.”

“Let’s see how fun tonight is when you’re trying to get some.”

“Can you for once just let me have this and let me surprise you? Just once in 27 years?”

“Fine,” she smiled. “I’ll leave you alone about it. What are we going to do today? It’s only 2:30.”

“Want to take a walk on the beach?”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Maybe go for a swim?”

“Sure.”  
___________________________________________  
They got changed and headed to the beach. It was surprisingly not very crowded with it being the beginning of summer but that suited them just as well.

She took off her shorts and tank top, revealing the black 2 piece she had bought for the trip.

“You coming, Raf?”

“Why don’t you go? I’ll just sit up here.”

“Rafael. Take off your shirt and get in with me.”

“I don’t feel like it,” he sort of shrugged.

She had seen a few of the guys walking a long with their girlfriends or wives, they were tall, tanned, with six packs to boot.

Rafael felt that people would look at Izzy and look at him and wonder what she was doing with him.

“Baby there is nothing wrong with your body. Look down there. See that guy?”

“Hard to miss,” he grumbled.

“He’s probably 20 years younger than us and that’s all he does is work out. His girlfriend’s boobs are obviously fake. Do you know how heavy the wire is in my top to keep mine up?”

“There’s nothing wrong with your boobs. Trust me. They’re still as perky as they were when you were 19.”

“Liar. They have done their share of work over the years after breastfeeding 5 kids.”

“They’re still perfect to me.”

“And you are still perfect to me.”

“I’m about 50lbs heavier than I was when I was 19.”

“If even that and I don’t care. Just take off your shirt and get in the water with me, please?”

He finally relented and took off the gray t-shirt he was wearing and threw it on the chaise. His crucifix sort of swung back and forth after the shirt came off and his wife watched him intently.

“What?”

“Just come on,” she smiled as she held out her hand.

He forgot about the negative thoughts he had in his head before and just had a good time with his wife.  
_____________________________________________  
“Rafa! What are you…” Izzy asked after he practically pulled her from the bathroom once she had finished her shower the next morning. 

They had enjoyed breakfast in their room that day and decided to take it easy, at least that’s what Izzy thought.

He took her to the bed and practically pounced on her like an animal in heat. 

As he started in on her neck, his hand made its way down into her thin shorts and panties, slowly pulling them off as he continued kissing down her body until his face was in between her legs. He was still working his fingers in and out of her before his tongue made its first contact with her clit, causing her to throw her head back and arch her back. He was driving her insane, her hands grabbing the sheets as he got her closer and closer. “You gonna come for Papi?” 

“Si, Papi. Keep going, please.” 

He went back to finish the job he had started, making her come so hard, her knees were practically locked against his head. She relaxed once he stopped and came back, kissing her allowing her to taste herself on him. 

“You want more, Mami?” 

“Please, Papi.” 

“You’re only mine, isn’t that right?” 

“Yes, Papi.” 

“Papi’s the only one that can make you feel good?” 

“Yes.” 

“Good,” he smiled before sliding into her hard. He practically fucked her into the mattress for an hour. 

“Water?” He asked once he came after making her come 5 times. 

“Please.” She could barely keep her eyes open he had worn her out so much. 

“Did Papi say you could take a nap?” He asked as he slapped her ass, causing her to jump. 

“No but…” 

“No, buts. I’m not done with you yet,” he growled. 

“You took a Viagra this morning, didn’t you?” 

“So?” 

“Baby…” 

“Get up.” 

She drug herself off the bed and he bent her over the dresser. “You know you like to watch me make you come,” he bent down and whispered before pushing himself back into her. Her clit was so sensitive she had no idea how she was going to get anymore orgasms out, but he made sure she did.

Her legs were so weak after she came she just wanted to melt onto the floor. He held her up as he got another one of his out. 

He held onto her as his pace slowed while he emptied himself into her and then laid her on the bed. “Are you that worn out, Mami?” 

“Yes, Papi.” 

“Okay, I’ll let you have a break,” he smiled. 

His former record for most orgasms in a day was 10, but by 10pm he had well beaten that record.   
___________________________________________________________   
“I hope I can walk tomorrow,” she laughed as they laid in the tub. 

“You didn’t enjoy today?” 

“I did. What got into you besides the Viagra?” 

“Well, we’ve been wanting to try it out.”

“Have we?”

“Don’t lie to me, Elizabeth. You’ve been just as curious as I have.”

“Maybe.”

His hand went under the water, his thumb making it’s way to it’s “favorite” spot. 

“Oh, baby, I don’t know if I can handle…” 

“Just one more? I don’t need another one,” he said as he kept going while she reached back and grabbed his hair. He buried his face in her neck before biting down and sucking a mark while she locked her knees together again as she came once more. 

“Okay, okay,” she panted as he finished her off. “Can I get out now?” 

“Sure,” he smiled.  
__________________________________________________  
The next day, they slept in a little later than usual.

She felt his fingertips lightly ghosting her naked back as her eyes started to open.

“Raf?”

“Hmm?” He let out as he kissed the back of her neck after moving her hair out of the way.

“You didn’t take another one, did you?”

“No,” he laughed against her shoulder. “It’s Monday.”

“And?”

“And we have to be dressed and ready for my surprise by 12.”

“Oh.”

“Can you walk?”

“I hope,” she chuckled into her pillow.

“Come on. We’ll have a quick brunch and head out.”

“Okay, fine,” she moaned as she stretched.

They got dressed and headed out. 

A car had arrived to take them to Vigie Cove where a huge powerboat was awaiting them.

“Rafa?”

“Come on. It’s just you and me,” he smiled as they walked down to the boat to be warmly greeted by the crew.

He had booked a very expensive private tour. They were able to go for a swim in the aquamarine ocean, enjoyed the open bar and snacks on the boat.

Since it was a private tour, the itinerary was very flexible, allowing them to dock for an early dinner and then enjoy champagne as they watched the sunset, including the elusive green flash right as sun slipped below the waterline.

Soon after the boat took them back to their resort instead of the place they had left from originally.  
___________________________________________________  
“So, what did you think,” he asked his very buzzed wife as she held onto his arm while they walked from the beach up to their villa.

“It was beautiful. Well worth the surprise.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“I have an idea.”

“What’s that?

She started stripping out of her clothes as they stood by their private pool that they had yet to use and dove in. 

“Baby?”

“When was the last time we went skinny dipping, Rafa?”

“Senior year of college,” he answered after thinking for a moment. “The pool at our apartment complex, after it was supposed to be ‘closed’ for the night.”

He began unbuttoning the baby blue shirt he had been wearing, tossing it next to her clothes, along with this gray undershirt, khaki shorts, and his boxers before joining her.

“I’m starting to understand what George Costanza was going through,” he joked as he came back from under the water.

“It’s not that cold, Rafael.”

“Think not?”

“Nope.”

“Your nipples tell another story.”

“Hush,” she laughed as she splashed him. “Come here. Let me be the judge of how cold it is.”

His eyes sort of rolled in the back of his head when she grabbed his dick under water.

“See? Not that cold.”

“You are not going to tease me like that.”

“I might. You have to catch me first.”

“Like this pool is so huge,” he scoffed.

“Catch me if you can,” she said in a sing-songy voice before taking off to the other end of the pool.

“Challenge accepted, Mrs. Barba.”


	144. Chapter 144

"Hello, people who do not live here," Izzy said as she and Rafael walked into their to find their children, Erin, Tony, their kids, Amanda, Carisi, Jesse, Billie, Nick, Cynthia, Gil, Zara, Mike, Alice, Connor, Liv, Brian, and Noah in their living room.

 

"Welcome home!!!!" They all said.

 

"Okay, we just went on vacation for a week," Rafael laughed.

 

"You two look so tan and gorgeous,"Amanda practically cheered.

 

"Okay, dial it back a little, Rollins."

 

"Sorry. I'm just so glad you're back."

 

"What are you guys watching?" Rafael asked as he turned to the TV.

 

"Well, now that the boys are on a decent schedule, I can finish the project I've been working on for a while," Tony answered.

 

"And that would be?"

 

"Remember that video camera I had?"

 

"Yes," Rafael and Izzy moaned.

 

"Well, I found most of the tapes and have been converting them into DVDs."

 

"You didn't."

 

"Oh, I did, Barba."

 

_"_ _And who do we have here?" Tony's voice said on the DVD as he walked up to a bench. "It appears to be Harvard's 'It' couple."_

_Izzy was sitting on the table of the bench, Rafael on the seat. She had her arms around his shoulders as she rested her head on his shoulder while they appeared to be going over some notes together._

_"_ _Get that camera out of here, Rossetti."_

_"_ _Oh, come on, Barba. Give the people what they want."_

_"That's_ _your sister, perv."_

_"_ _I'm not saying throw her down on the table. Good God."_

_Izzy had reached around and started kissing her boyfriend. In that moment, it was as if they were one mind and decided to fuck with Tony, with Rafael's hand reaching up into his girlfriend's hair, pulling her closer._

_"_ _Okay, that's enough! That's my sister!"_

_"_ _You asked for it," Rafael replied nonchalantly with a shrug._

"Ew, Dad," Cami laughed.

 

"Your uncle started it. Turn it off, Tony."

 

"Nooooo!" Everyone exclaimed.

 

"Give us look into your early life together," Liv laughed.

 

"Well, we're going to put our luggage up."

 

"You don't have to unpack it right now. Relax," Mike added.

 

"Fine."

 

_"_ _Who do we have here?" Tony asked as he was shown walking into his dorm. "Looks like it's my roommate, diligently studying while he waits on his girlfriend to get off of work."_

_"_ _Leave me alone, Tony," Rafael said without looking up._

_"_ _You've only got an hour before you can see her again."_

_"_ _If you don't put that camera down, I'm gonna give you a colonoscopy and remember, I'm pre-law, not pre-med, so that wouldn't bode well for you."_

_"_ _Come on. One day, when you and my sister are married, and can't stand the sight of each other, we can show your kids how in love you guys once were."_

_"_ _Whatever. Where's Erin?"_

_"_ _Asleep. I kind of wore her out this afternoon."_

"Tony!!" Erin laughed as she playfully slapped his arm.

 

"We went running that day and I made you run an extra mile. That's what I meant."

 

_"_ _She runs with your sister every day."_

"See?" Tony said as he stuck his tongue out at Erin.

 

_"_ _One more mile wasn't going to kill her. Come on, man. Stop waiting around on my sister and let's go do something."_

_"_ _I told your sister I would meet her when she got off work and help her study."_

_"_ _Study. Right."_

_"_ _Seriously. We are going to study..."_

_"_ _We can put off studying for one night and go down to Pavlov's and have a few beers."_

_"_ _Let me call your sister and see what she says."_

_"_ _He always has to get permission from his woman," Tony whispered as he turned the camera toward him, only to be hit in the shin with a book. "Ow!! I was just kidding."_

_He turned the camera back to Rafael who was laying on his bed, talking on the phone with Izzy who was at work at the bookstore._

_"_ _It's up to you. It doesn't matter to me either way. I haven't seen you other than class but if you want to go out for a little bit, I don't mind. Okay. Yeah. Alright. I'll see you in an hour. Okay. I love you. There. You happy?"_

_"_ _What did she say?"_

_"_ _She'll grab Erin and meet us there when she gets off."_

_"_ _See? I have a good idea once in a while. We could blow off some steam. We just turned 21 and we need to take advantage."_

_"_ _Can you turn that off so I can get dressed?"_

"How many tapes did you convert?" Brian asked.

 

"About 20, I think."

 

"Seriously?"

 

"I have tapes leading up to after the twins were born actually. Theirs not mine."

 

"Your sister and I just got off a long flight after a very...relaxing week. We'd just like to spend time with our kids."

 

"I'm fine watching these videos, Dad."

 

"Of course, you are, RJ. Well, I'm getting a drink."

 

"What did I tell you? I told you guys he'd need a drink to watch this stuff," Tony laughed.

 

Tony had saved his money to buy the hand held camcorder in 1995 and took it everywhere it seemed. He used to drive them crazy.

 

_"_ _Oh my god! Do you two do anything else?!" Tony said, catching Rafael and his sister in Rafael's bed. They were on top of the covers, clothes on, but it was obvious from Tony's angle, they were kissing if nothing else._

_"_ _Tony!"_

_"_ _God, get out of here!! Leave us alone!!"_

_"I'_ _m just here making sure you don't violate my sister."_

_"_ _Okay, that's it," Rafael said as he got off the bed and started pushing Tony out of the room._

_"_ _This is my room, too!"_

_"_ _Well, you need to be like Michael Jackson and beat it. Go on!"_

Everyone was finding the videos rather humorous.

 

"What did you hope to accomplish, Tony?"

 

"Nothing really, Liv. I just knew it aggravated him, well both of them."

 

"I wanted to smash that damn thing so many times," Izzy remarked.

 

They spent hours watching the DVDs Tony had made.

 

"You two were just as bad then as you are now," Amanda laughed before getting up and running to the bathroom.

 

"She okay?" Nick asked.

 

"Yeah, she's fine. Why do you ask?"

 

That's like the fourth time she's ran off like that, Carisi."

 

"Maybe something didn't agree with her," he shrugged.

 

"Like all the free food you guys are eating in my house?"

 

"Come on, Barba. We were just excited you guys were home."

 

"Okay and it's been really great to see all of you and for you to get a glimpse into the past. We can do this again sometime but we'd just like some time..."

 

"We get it," Brian laughed as he stood up.

 

"And you need to get Amanda home in case she has...a bug," Rafael told Carisi with a look, signaling he knew.

____________________________________________________ 

Everyone finally left, letting them decompress.

 

"So, how was it?"

 

"It was really nice, Cami. Your dad booked us a private tour on a powerboat one day. We got to see the green flash when the sunset."

 

"Like in 'Pirates of the Caribbean'?"

 

"Yeah. It was really cool to watch. I'm guessing this week went fine. No one called saying the house was on fire. Doesn't look like anything's broken."

 

"Gil and Ella stayed locked in her room..."

 

"Camila I specifically told you and her..."

 

"I'm kidding, Dad. They stayed down here when Ella wasn't at basketball practice. Listen I gotta go back to school next week."

 

"Why?"

 

"I'm taking a few classes this summer."

 

"Since when?"

 

"Since I decided to before the end of school?"

 

"Your scholarships don't cover..."

 

"Yeah, so I kinda need you to pay for it."

 

"I wish you would've discussed this with your mother and I first."

 

"I'll be staying at the sorority house so I just need my classes and books paid for."

 

"We've been home roughly an hour and a half and you're already asking for money. Why am I not surprised?" He groaned as he reached into his pocket to grab his wallet. He drug his finger over the rows of credit cards before pulling out their Discover card. "How much?"

 

She showed him the statement on her phone and he handed the card over for her to put the information in.

______________________________________________

"So, I've been doing some thinking."

 

"What's that, Rafa?" Izzy asked as they babysat Henry and Trey one evening while Adriana when to Amanda and Sonny's to give Erin and Tony some time alone.

 

"You ever think that maybe we could start fostering kids?"

 

"Are you serious?"

 

"Maybe even adopt one at some point?"

 

"You're not kidding, are you?"

 

"Why not? There's so many kids in this city alone that need a good stable home, even if it's only for a few months until they can be reunited with family."

 

"I...I, uh...I need to think about it. I mean, we're almost 47. Would you want to start over now?"

 

"Would it be so terrible?"

 

"I'll think about, Raf."

 

"You know what? That's fair. It was just a thought. Come on, Henry. Why don't we go get you a bottle?"

 

Izzy watched as he walked into the kitchen with Henry in his arms and wondered if it would be so bad for them to look into adopting one or at least becoming foster parents. He was a good father after all. She knew he liked being around all the babies that had arrived in the last few years.


	145. Chapter 145

“So, what’s this family meeting about?” Ella asked once the kids had all sat in the living room. Cami had just finished her summer semester and had a few weeks before having to go back to Connecticut for her Junior year.

“Your mother and I have been talking over the last few weeks about making some…sort of changes around here.”

“You’re not getting divorced are you? I’m not doing the Thanksgiving here and Christmas at Dad’s. No way.”

“We’re not getting divorced, Junior. Jesus,” Rafael replied as he rolled his eyes. “No, we’ve been talking about sort of adding on to the family.”

“But Mom can’t have any more kids.”

“Wow, you’re quick, Ella.”

“Matteo hush.”

“Yeah, it’s your fault Mom can’t have any more kids anyways,” RJ teased.

“God was just letting her know she finally got it right and didn’t need any more after me, especially after you were born, RJ.” 

“Nice burn, Matty,” Rory laughed.

“Okay, guys, can we get back to what your mother and I wanted to talk about? We have decided that since we basically have 3 extra bedrooms, we are going to apply to become foster parents.”

“Are you guys seriously going to adopt a baby?”

“We haven’t gotten that far yet, Camila,” Izzy answered. “And if we do decide to adopt, it’s not always a baby that needs a good home. However, fostering is a good start.”

“You guys are serious.”

“Yeah, we are, Junior. Is that a problem?”

“Uh, no. What made you guys decide to do this when you’ve almost got all of us out of the house? If you don’t mind me asking?”

“There are so many kids in this city that live in shelters, ACS facilities. Some of them are just waiting for the families to clean up, finish rehab, etcetera and we started thinking that maybe, even if it’s only for a few months, we could provide a child some stability and support until they’re reunited or a family adopts them.”

“Uh-oh, Dad’s biological clock is ticking,” Rory said under her breath.

“Aurora Danielle,” Izzy quietly scolded.

“Okay, maybe all the new babies being around has stirred something up in me but we’ve talked about this a lot in the last few weeks. We don’t want to move forward unless you guys are okay with it.”

The five of them looked at each other for a few minutes.

“I’m not home so I don’t have a problem with it,” Cami said.

“Me either,” Rory agreed.

The other three kind of sat there.

“Well, I guess if the princess doesn’t have a problem with it, it’s fine with me.”

Now it was the boys turn to answer.

“As long as I don’t have to change any diapers, I don’t see a problem,” Matty laughed.

“Yeah, fine, whatever,” RJ finally said. “Are we done?”

“Uh, yeah, I suppose,” his father said. “We just wanted to talk this over with you guys before we moved ahead. We thought you guys deserved to know what was going on with this family at least.”

“We appreciate that, Dad,” Rory smiled.

The kids got up and went back to doing what they had been doing before, leaving their parents in the living room.

“You know, everyone seemed to be on board except RJ.”

“I know, Rafa. Surely he wouldn’t be jealous.”

“I’ll go talk to him later.”  
___________________________________________  
“Junior?”

“Yeah, Dad?” RJ asked as he looked up from his iPad.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Your brother and sisters seemed okay with what your mom and I want to do but you…do you have a problem with this?”

“No,” he replied shortly.

“You’re lying.”

“Just…why now? I mean Ella and I are going to be Juniors, Matty is going into the eighth grade. Why would you guys add another? Is there something going on like with your marriage that you think a baby will fix everything?”

“This has nothing to do with our marriage. You don’t remember what it was like after your brother was born, do you?”

“What do you mean?”

“How depressed your mother was?”

“I remember her crying a lot, even after Matty came home.”

“She went through the ringer with that. She was only 34 and shouldn’t have had to go through something that traumatic so to speak so young.”

“What does that have to do with what you guys are wanting to do?”

“Do you know Noah’s story?”

“I know Aunt Liv adopted him.”

“Did you know that she, your Mom, and their squad rescued him from child pornographers?”

“No.”

“They did. His mother, god rest her soul, was a prostitute. Her first pimp is the one that got her pregnant. She continued to ‘work’ while she was pregnant. After he was born, she was put back to work and she OD’d. When she got back, she was told Noah died. After he was rescued, he was shipped from foster home to foster home until your Aunt Liv took him.”

“What happened to his mother?”

“She was murdered cause she was going to testify against her pimp. After Olivia had him examined over and over again, there were so many injuries that had been healed over time. ACS never knew about half of them. He went through it during his first few months before Aunt Liv got him.”

“So, you guys are wanting to ‘save’ an abused or neglected kid? That’s what this is about?”

“Not really. You think of everything you, your brother, and your sisters have been afforded in your life. Right now, there’s a kid your age that is lucky to get a hot meal once a day. Probably doesn’t have a coat in the winter or worse. We’re not moving forward to adopt right at the beginning. Like we said, we just want to offer support and stability to someone, whether they’re 5 or 15. Does any of this make sense?”

“I guess, Dad. I mean if that’s what you guys want to do, it’s really up to you.”  
_____________________________________________  
“You talk to the housing authority?” Liv asked Carisi concerning their latest investigation concerning a 3 year old being found in a store by himself. 

“They're checking, but my contact there said not to expect much.” 

“So, Manuela's strung out, and Bruno is home alone. Did you run their names through Child Services?” 

“Yeah, I called them. Without a last name, the guy told me where I could go,” Izzy informed her.

“Did he? Let's do a drop-in.” 

“Yeah, you know what, Izzy and I got this.” 

“Actually, Rollins, why don't you stay here with Fin?”

“I’m fine, Liv. Seriously, we can go.” 

“No, seriously, just work the phones. You know, food stamps, housing. Izzy, Carisi, let's go.”  
_______________________________________________  
“This is six dead bolt country,” Izzy told Liv when the DSC case worker took them to Bruno’s apartment, “That door's not even locked.” 

“Manuela Ozuna? NYPD!” 

“She's not here,” Carisi called from one room. 

“No wonder Bruno walked. This place is a furnace, even for February,” Izzy mentioned as she checked another room. “She's not in there, either.” 

“I think she sleeps down there,” Keith said as he pointed them to a bedroom.

“Hello? Keisha?,” Liv called out for Bruno’s older sister. 

“What is this? Carisi? Oh, my God,” Izzy said quietly as she uncovered a dog cage. “It's a kid. Liv!!”

“Keisha? Keisha, honey? Can you hear me? Oh, my God. Keisha, can you hear me? There's a pulse. It's just faint. Hey, I need a bus here right now,” Liv told Carisi as she and Izzy gently got Keisha out of the cage. 

“I thought you said she was eight years old?” Izzy asked the caseworker angrily. 

“She is. She's almost nine.” 

“Keisha? Keisha, sweetheart. It's okay, honey. We're gonna get you some help, sweetie. We're gonna get you some help, sweetie. You're okay. You're okay. You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay, sweetie,” both Liv and Izzy were visibly shook as they pulled the very tiny girl out of that cage.   
__________________________________________  
“That poor kid. Still no sign of the mother?” Carisi asked as they stood at the hospital. 

“Fin's working the dealer,” Izzy told him. “Dr. Wilder, how's she doing?” 

“Not well. Starvation, infections. She's so dehydrated her organs are shutting down.” 

“But she's gonna make it though, right, Doc?” 

“I wish you'd have found her sooner, Detective Carisi,” the doctor replied apologetically. All the color seemed to leave Carisi’s face.

“I got you, Sonny.”

“I just…I can’t…”

“Come on. Let’s go talk to Keith.”  
____________________________________________  
“Where was Child Services?” Barba asked as all 3 female SVU detectives stood in his office after the death of Bruno’s 8-year-old sister, Keisha Houston. 

“Well, Carisi talked to Keith Musio, her caseworker. He's so slammed he doesn't remember yesterday. His supervisor, Jeanette Grayson, claims that DCS is launching an internal investigation,” Liv told him.

“You mean cover-up,” Izzy interjected. 

“Keisha's dead. What's there to cover up?” 

“Their complicity. The caseworker botched this,” his wife replied. 

“You want to prosecute the caseworker?” 

“Uh, yes. That’s why we’re here.” 

“Brooklyn tried that and lost. Morally responsible, okay, legally…”

“Keisha didn’t lose 20lbs in two weeks. If Keith had actually been showing up for his visits, he would have noticed. And she'd still be alive,” Rollins replied. 

“Okay, all right, I get it,” he said as he put his hands on his wife’s arms in an attempt to calm her down. “You're angry, emotional, but if you want me to go after this guy, I'm gonna need more than maternal outrage to make a case.”

“That’s incredibly sexist, Rafa,” Izzy told her husband as she accidentally knocked the chocolate covered espresso beans he had been snacking on out of his hands.

“Those were my last ones,” he told her.

“Chalk it up to my maternal outrage.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. We all have kids but you guys are letting your emotions get in the way. I need something substantial. ¿Entiendes?”

Izzy nodded.

“Me encargaré de esto una vez que tenga más pruebas. Lo prometo. (I will handle this once I have more evidence. I promise.)”

“Okay.”  
___________________________________________  
Izzy was woken by a lot of movement coming from her husband. He was mumbling something in Spanish that she couldn’t quite make out but he usually didn’t talk in his sleep.

“Raf? Rafa? Rafael!”

“Huh?! What?”

“You okay?”

“What?”

“You were moving around and talking in your sleep.”

“Ugh,” he started rubbing his eyes. “I was…I was having a dream.”

“Seemed more like a nightmare.”

“I’m gonna go…”

“Yeah,” she nodded as he picked up his pillow and headed to the couch.  
______________________________________________  
“By April, no more handwritten notes,” Carisi told Rafael as they went over everything they had found at DCS. 

“And after April?” 

“No reports on the Ozunas were scanned in at all until the morning after Keisha died. He goes in, and he backdates nine reports. And all these cases take place at the same time that his calendar has him in court or visiting other clients miles away.” 

“His supervisor signed off on these, Rollins?” 

“Yep, even the ones scanned in eight hours after Keisha's death.” 

“Okay, copy that. That was the Lieutenant. She and Liv just got called down to 1PP by Harris. They want a briefing on all the stuff we found at DCS,” Carisi said as he hung up his phone. 

“That's not good,” Fin remarked. 

“No, it's not. Why don't I walk over? Pay my respects,” Barba told them as he left.   
_________________________________________________  
“I understand your concern, Lieutenant, but Child Services is a city agency. There are protocols.” 

“A caseworker lied about his visits. A supervisor signed off on false reports. Child Services is responsible for Keisha's death.” 

“The city has a Department of Investigation, Captain. If they decide something criminal has transpired…” 

“Which they won't,” Izzy said interrupting Hank Abraham, the commissioner’s so-called right hand man.

“Then NYPD gets involved.” 

“Since when does NYPD kick an investigation back to DOI? Who's this coming from, City Hall,” Liv asked.

“No one likes bad headlines but let me be clear. I'm not just in charge of press for NYPD. I'm the commissioner's right hand. I work for him, and so do you,” Abraham retorted.

“Right hand man? You must be incredibly busy then,” Izzy scoffed. 

“I issued the subpoenas. SVU is investigating at my request.” 

“SVU doesn't work for you, Counselor.” 

“All right, we're all friends here. The commissioner wanted us to convey that, as of now, this is not a police matter, but if it becomes one…” 

“You'll let us know,” Rafael said, cutting off now Chief Harris as the three of them got up to walk out.

“So that's it. They just call us off,” Izzy said shaking her head.

“They called you guys off. I don’t work for NYPD,” he said with that smirk as he looked at his wife and best friend, seemingly getting about three steps ahead of them.  
_____________________________________________  
After deals were made due to Jeannette Grayson practically having a breakdown on the stand, Rafael felt a little better. Everyone, including her mother, that was responsible for Keisha’s death was going to pay. The DCS Commissioner stepped down and an outside administrative board was going to come in and basically do a complete overhaul.

“You know I missed Keisha's funeral. My transportation showed up three hours late,” Manuela Ozuna told Fin and Izzy as they sat in the visiting room with her son.

“That's why they're letting you see Bruno now,” Izzy said. 

“I'm doing eight years. By the time I get out, he'll be halfway to a man.” 

“They found a good home for him. If he's lucky, he won't remember any of this or you,” Fin added. Neither of them felt an ounce of sympathy for her after she let Keisha starve and locked her in a dog cage.   
________________________________________________  
“How’s it look?”

“I think it’s good,” Izzy smiled.

“Are we ready for this?”

“I think so.”

“Do we have enough clothes and…”

“Rafa calm down. It’s gonna be fine.”

The doorbell rang so Rafael popped open the screen on his phone. “It’s Shantal and Pippa.”

“Here we go.”


	146. Chapter 146

“Counselor Cox it’s nice to see you again,” Rafael said as he shook the red-headed lawyer’s hand. 

“You as well. You remember Shantal Jackson from ACS?”

“Of course, Ms. Jackson, it’s a pleasure.”

“You as well, Mr. Barba. Lieutenant for once we meet under better circumstances,” she smiled. “You remember this little guy?”

Izzy bent down to the little boy that had been found wondering in shorts and tank top that cold night in February. He had received a much needed haircut and decent clothes. There was a even a smile on his face compared to the weeks before.

“Hey, buddy. You remember me?”

He nodded with a big smile. “You’re Izzy.”

“That’s right. What about him?” She asked as she pointed to her husband who had bent down as well.

“Rafa.”

“That’s right. You’re gonna stay with us for a little while, is that okay?”

He just nodded with a smile.

“You want to see your room?”

“Yes, sir,” he answered as he took Rafael’s hand.

They had moved Matty upstairs into Cami’s old room so Bruno could be downstairs with them.

When they found out Bruno would be coming to stay with them, it was Izzy that had to reel Rafael in when they went shopping for toys and clothes. They didn’t know how long they would have him for but Rafael knew he had a hard life in his three years and he wanted to do everything he could to try and help him start to move forward.

Pippa and Shantal made sure everything was in order before they left. Izzy walked into the bedroom and found Bruno and Rafael playing with some of the dinosaurs they had bought and just sort of laughed. It had been a long time since they had a small kid in their house.

“Is he here?”

“Yeah, Matty. He’s in the room with your Dad right now.”

“Is it okay if I go in there?”

“Sure. Come on.”

Izzy walked her son into his old room where his dad was still playing with the small boy.

“Bruno? I got somebody that wants to meet you, if that’s okay.”

He nodded as he looked at the lanky kid that stood in the doorway. Rafael got up off the floor, not without his “old man groan” as he called it.

“Go talk to him, Matteo. He won’t bite,” he whispered.

“Does he speak Spanish?”

“Ask him.”

“Bruno, ¿hablas español?”

“Si,” he answered quietly.

“Me llamo Matteo pero puedes llamarme Matt o Matty (My name is Matteo but you can call me Matt or Matty).”

“Okay, Matty. ¿Te gustan los dinosaurios (Do you like dinosaurs?)”

“¿Estás bromeando? Me encantan los dinosaurios (Are you kidding? I love dinosaurs).”

“¿Quieres jugar conmigo (Do you want to play with me)?”

“Por supuesto que (Of course I will),” Matty told him as he sat at the in floor with Bruno.

“Bruno you gonna be okay?”

“Yes, sir. I like him,” he smiled at Rafael.

“Okay. Make sure he plays fair. If you need anything, Izzy and I will be around the house.”

“Okay.”

“We’ll be fine, Dad. Hey, Bruno, I bet if you ask my mom real nicely, we can have pizza for dinner.”

He looked at Izzy with his brown eyes and sort of smiled.

“What kind do you like?”

“Pepperoni.”

“Works for me,” she laughed as she and Rafael went to the living room.  
_____________________________________________________  
“He seemed to take to Matty pretty quickly,” Rafael mused as they sat on the couch.

“We always said he would’ve made a good big brother.”

“That’s true, mi amor.”

“So, Shantal said that a speech therapist has been working with him along with a child psychologist. He still doesn’t understand that Keisha isn’t coming back.”

“That’s gonna take a while. He’s only 3. We knew this wasn’t going to be easy.”

“I know.”  
_________________________________  
“Okay, now we are just down the hall if you need anything at all, Bruno. Okay?”

“Okay,” he nodded.

“You remember where the bathroom is?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay. I’m going to shut off the light but you have a night light.”

“TV?”

“Buddy I don’t know…”

“TV?”

“Okay. Just for tonight. I’ll be back to see if you’re asleep.”

“Okay.”

“Nick Jr okay?”

Bruno just nodded as his eyes lit up.

“Okay. Did you have a good first day?”

“Yes.”

“You need anything at all, come find me or Izzy. Our door will be open.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, mijo,” Rafael sweetly smiled as he ran his hand over the little boys dark hair. “You can always find us.”

Before Rafael knew it, Bruno sat up from his bed and wrapped his arms around his neck.

He started fighting tears as he patted his back. “Okay. Get some sleep. You have a big day tomorrow.”

“Good night.”

“Good night.”

Izzy noticed her husband pinching the bridge of his nose when he came in their room.

“You okay?”

“Huh? Yeah,” he sniffled.

“What’s wrong?”

“He just…I was putting him to bed and he just reached up and hugged me.”

“He hugged me after I got him dressed.”

“That’s probably the most affection he’s received in who knows how long. I have to practically tackle my own kids for a hug.”

“You don’t have to tackle me for a hug,” she smiled as he sat in the bed. 

“I love you,” he told her before he kissed her.

“Mmm…mmm…Rafa…not…”

“Right,” he laughed once he pulled away. “It’s been so long since we’ve had to worry about that.”

“Let’s let him get settled. Okay?”

“You’re right. Come on, it’s been a long day.”

“The girls are in love with him already.”

“I think you are, too, cariño.”

“My first memory of him is in that bodega after Fin and I left that benefit. I still can’t shake that.”

“You know, once when the girls were babies, I took them to see Mami cause you were working, I think 48 hours straight and we talked about my Dad, cause he was at work. I remember telling her all the memories I had of him were ones I wanted to forget and she told me to make news ones with him and the girls. That’s what we have to do with Bruno. Make new, better memories.”

“You’re right, Rafa. I love you.”

“I love you.”  
_________________________________________________  
“So, how’s things with Bruno?”

“Getting better, Amanda,” Izzy told her visibly pregnant detective as they got something to drink. “His nightmares have pretty much stopped. He hasn’t slept in our bed in a week. He seems to be adjusting at his school. He’s getting there.”

“I think a lot of that has to do with his foster parents. He felt something with you guys.”

“Maybe,” Izzy smiled. “His therapists are really impressed with the progress he’s made in just the month he’s been with us. Of course, Nonna Stella and Abuelita Lucy are helping with that.”

“Is that what he calls them?”

“Yeah. That’s what they said for him to call them but they’ve come over and worked with him. He’s getting up to speed. He’ll be 4 October 16th and he’s never had a birthday party so…”

“You know we’ll be there,” Amanda smiled. “RJ still being…”

“An asshole? Yeah. I mean, he’s not mean to Bruno. He just doesn’t really have anything to do with him. Matty plays with him, Ella spends time with him even. Her and Gil took him for pizza and ice cream the other day.”

“Wonder what his deal is?”

“No idea. Anytime Rafael tries to talk to him, he just shuts him out. Complete Barba that child.”

“You think he’s jealous?”

“He’s 16. What could he possibly be jealous of?”

“You never know with teenagers.”

“You could be right. Hell, a lot of good my Psychology degree does me,” Izzy joked as they walked back to their desks.

“You’ve just been a cop for too long. You don’t think about what you learned at Harvard. You think about what you’ve learned on the job, the criminal mind in a way.”

“Maybe so.”

“Barba, Rollins, my office,” Liv said as she whizzed passed them and into her office.

They got up and followed their Captain with Rollins shutting the door behind them.

“Everything okay, Liv?”

She looked between the two detectives before flashing her left hand with a huge rock on her ring finger.

“WHAT?!?!” They both exclaimed.

“He asked last night,” Liv beamed.

“It’s about time,” Izzy teased. 

“I’ll say,” Amanda agreed. “Okay who had fall 2021 in the pool, Izz?”

“Rollins,” Liv playfully scolded.

“I’m kidding of course. You guys have any plans?”

“Not yet but I’m thinking by the end of the year. Something small. Our little family.”

“I think we can pull it off. What do you think, Izz?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“That’s one thing I want to ask you, Izzy.”

“What?”

“Well, if we have even a little wedding, I want someone to give me away and the person I want…”

“You want my husband to give you away?”

“If that’s okay with you.”

“Of course. He’d be honored, I’m sure.”

“Possibly him and Fin, actually.”

“That would be awesome in my mind,” Amanda said.

“Okay, you two get back to work. And let’s keep it quiet for a little bit.”

“No problem, Captain,” Amanda smiled as she opened the office door. “Hey, guys! Cassidy finally proposed to Liv!!”

“Sorry, Liv,” Izzy said.

“Your partner.”

“Hey, she’s pregnant. She’s Carisi’s problem.”  
___________________________________________  
“That’s 5 for Bruno!” Matty cheered as they played with the smaller basketball goal they had bought for him in their tiny backyard.

RJ just sat on the back steps as he watched his sister, best friend, Mom, Dad, and little brother play with their foster brother. 

“Come on, Rafa. You have to make this shot,” Bruno teased.

“Is that right? Well, I’ll tell you something, buddy, I’m not very good at things like this.”

“I’m beating you 5-1.”

“RJ why don’t you come in and take your old man’s spot?”

“No thanks, Dad,” he scoffed. He was quick to catch the ball as his dad threw to him.

“Get up and play, Junior.”

“I have homework,” he said as he tossed the ball to Gil and went back inside.

“You guys keep playing. I’ll be back,” Rafael said as he followed his son inside. “RJ. RJ. Junior I’m talking to you!”

RJ stopped on the stairs and turned toward his father. “Yeah?”

“What’s your problem?”

“Nothing.”

“My office…NOW.”

“Ugh, fine.”

RJ sat in one of the leather chairs in his dad’s office as Rafael shut the door.

“What’s with the attitude?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yeah, you do. You haven’t tried to get to know Bruno in the 6 weeks he’s been here. That kid has had it hard.”

“And you and Mom just swoop in to fix him,” he said as he stood up.

“Sit your ass back down, ahora. We’re not done until I say we are. ¿Entiendes?”

“Yeah,” RJ replied as he sat back down.

“Now, we held a family meeting in the summer when your mother and I had decided to be foster parents. You said you were okay with it.”

“You know, I remember when I was his age…nevermind.”

“No, you can talk to me about everything else. What is it?”

“I’d ask you to play with me and you were always ‘too busy’.”

“That’s a lie and you know it.”

“Is it, Dad? Who taught me how to play basketball?”

“Your mother. Did you really want me to teach you? I highly doubt that. I have always hated sports.”

“You watch the Yankees. You’ve taken me and Matty to Knicks games, Giants games…”

“I hated playing sports. I still don’t really like to watch the games but I did that for you. I do like to watch baseball, I won’t lie, but I hated playing it. I was awful and your grandfather never missed an opportunity to remind me how terrible I was. You remember your first little league game?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged.

“Remember how you let a few balls roll right by you? You struck out both times at bat. What did I tell you when you started crying in the car on the way home? Do you remember?”

“That you were proud of me and to keep trying.”

“Right. You switched sports after a few years and that was fine but no matter how many times you’ve messed up in a game, missed a pass, anything, I’ve always let you know how proud I was of you.”

“But when I wanted to play…”

“Mijo yes I was working a lot when you were Bruno’s age. I know that. I still did everything I could to be there for you, just like I always have. I know I’ve missed games, so has your mom. I don’t see you giving her shit. We’ve missed games together and had to send Uncle Fin in our place. That would make us feel terrible. Why you’re taking this out on that poor, defenseless kid, I have no idea.”

RJ sat for a minute. “I guess you’re right about the basketball,” he kind of laughed. 

“I can barely make shots with that little goal we got for Bruno. Look, I’m sorry I’ve missed things over the years but I never meant to. If you feel like I was working too much when you were his age, well, you may not be entirely wrong. I was…well…I was a kick ass ADA,” he said with a laugh. “And that got me to where I am. That, I’m not going to apologize for because I worked hard for all of you.”

“I’m sorry, Dad. I didn’t think about it like that.”

“You will when you have your own kids one day. Everything I have done since 2000 has been for all 5, well now 6 of you.”

“You’re right.”

“C’mon, let’s go back outside. It’s almost dark.”

They walked back out to find everyone still playing.

“Hey, Bruno. Can I have the ball for a minute?”

“Sure, RJ,” he said as he bounced it to him.

“Think you need to sit this one out, old man,” he teased his father.

Rafael just sort of laughed and nodded as he sat on the steps and watched them play.


	147. Chapter 147

Goody two, goody two, goody goody two shoes  
Goody two, goody two, goody goody two shoes

Don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do?  
Don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do?  
Subtle innuendos follow  
There must be something inside

Rafael could hear Adam Ant’s 1981 hit coming from his kitchen along with his wife’s voice one night in early October and just sort of laughed. His wife always had a soft spot for so called oldies.

He walked into find her and Bruno dancing and singing along. 

“Seriously, mi amor?” He laughed.

“It’s a fun song,” Bruno told him.

“Your mother loved Adam Ant.”

They all stopped when he said that. They been very careful not to say things like to Bruno so he wouldn’t get confused.

“Are you my mom now, Izzy?”

“Uh, well…”

“I’m so sorry, cariño,” Rafael whispered. He just always been used to finding one of his kids in the kitchen with their mother, singing and listening to something like that.

“Maybe one day, Bruno. We’re just gonna take it one day at a time. Okay?”

“I wish you were my Mommy for real.”

“Just have faith, my love,” she told him as she hugged him.

“If you’re my mommy then Rafa would be my daddy, right?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I hope so,” he smiled as he hugged both of them.

“Why don’t you finish helping with dinner, mijo?”

“Okay,” he smiled. “What’s the next song?”

“Hmmm…how about this one?”

I got that sunshine in my pocket/Got that good soul in my feet  
I feel that hot blood in my body when it drops, ooh!

“That’s the ‘Trolls’ song,” he laughed.

Matty soon came in and joined in singing “Can’t Stop The Feeling”.

The four of them just sort of laughed as they sang and danced, almost making Izzy forget about the dinner she was cooking.  
________________________________________________________  
“I really didn’t mean to let that slip out tonight.”

“It’s okay, Rafa.”

“No, it’s not. What if he gets taken from us?”

“Why would he be? He’s happy, he’s adjusted, he’s responding well to therapy.”

“I know. It’s just…we’ve all gotten so attached to him. Even Junior.”

“Let’s not think negative, okay. We’ve got his birthday party next week and I’m trying to help Liv plan her wedding, plus the gender reveal for the Carisi baby,” she laughed.

“What is it?”

“I can’t tell you. I’m the only that knows…besides Liv.”

“Liv wants me to walk her down the aisle but she can’t tell me what Carisi’s baby is?”

“We took an oath, Raf.”

“What did you do? Swear on Chanel?”

“Hush.”

“Mommy?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Can I sleep with you and Daddy? The thunder is scaring me,” Bruno asked as he clutched his favorite Stitch doll.

“Uh, sure,” she smiled. “Come on.”

He happily jumped up onto the bed, barely missing Rafael’s “private place” but he put him in between them where he quickly fell asleep.

“I won’t be able to handle it if they take him from us,” Rafael told his wife quietly.

“Neither will he.”

“Goddamn I need to start thinking before I talk.”

“Hush. It would’ve probably happened sooner or later.”

He leaned over and gave his wife a quick kiss before settling under the covers.  
________________________________________________  
Bruno was so excited for his 4th birthday party. He had said he always wanted to go to an indoor trampoline park so his foster parents decided that’s what they’d do.

Cami and Rory came in from school for the party. It was just their little family, including Stella, Anthony, Bill, and Lucia.

Nick had the bright idea to play dodgeball in one of the pits. The grandparents decided to join in on that as well. Izzy thought to herself that Nick just wanted a clear shot at Dodds.

Carisi was the first to be knocked out by Liv.

Erin soon got Tony, Melinda got Nick. It ended up being guys vs girls for the most part. The funniest part was the last two standing was Rafael and Izzy.

“Get him, Izzy!” Lucia called from her seat.

“Alright, cariño, remember what we learned in our American History class at Harvard, ‘We must never negotiate out of fear but we must never fear to negotiate.’ John F. Kennedy.”

“Yeah, well I also remember, ‘Mama Said Knock You Out’, LL Cool J,” she said before hitting him in the stomach.

“Yay, Mommy!!!” Bruno cheered.

“You okay, Rafa?”

“I’m fine,” he laughed as he got back up. “At least it wasn’t in the nuts.”

“Oh, I thought about it.”

“I’m sure you did, psycho,” he said as he put his arm around his wife’s neck as they got out of the pit.

“He’s already calling you ‘Mommy’?”

“Yeah, Erin.”

“Wow…he really loves you guys.”

“He just needed the right family.”

“He ended up in the right zip code with the right people,” Liv added as she walked up.

“Kinda like Noah, huh?”

“Exactly like Noah, Izz.”  
_____________________________________________  
“Okay, Lieu. You and the Captain have been holding this over our heads for the last few weeks.”

“Calm down, Carisi. You’re gonna find out soon enough what Amanda is carrying in her belly.”

“Not soon enough.”

Dominick Carisi Sr and Donna Carisi, along with Sonny’s sisters Gina, Teresa, and Bella showed up for the gender reveal at Izzy and Rafael’s.

“Mommy there’s too many people.”

“It’s okay, Bruno. It’s a party.”

“Can I stay in my room?”

“If you want. There was a lot of people at your birthday party.”

“But I knew them.”

“Okay, I get it. You can stay in your room if you want. That’s fine,” she told him as she kissed his cheek. “You just do what makes you comfortable. If you want to come out later, you can.”

“Thank you,” he told her as he hugged her and ran back to his room.

“Still not good with strangers?”

“Not yet, Rafa. School is one thing but…”

“He sees those kids and teachers every day. He doesn’t know Amanda’s mom or sister, or Carisi’s family. It’s understandable.”

“I told him if he felt like joining us later, he could.”

“Good.”

The party was soon underway. Liv and Izzy had a big black balloon filled with confetti to reveal the sex.

“You’re sure this is okay, Lieu?”

“Carisi just pop the balloon. My Roomba will pick it all up, I assure you.”

“You ready, Amanda?”

“I am if you are, Sonny,” she smiled.

One the count of three, Sonny stuck the big black balloon to reveal blue confetti, meaning they were having a boy.  
_______________________________________________  
Carisi seemed happy until everyone realized he had disappeared. Rafael knew where to find him though as he walked up to his office.

“You okay?”

“A boy? Barba…girls are one thing…but a boy?”

“You’ll be fine, Carisi.”

“Are they easier than girls?”

“Hell no. Nothing about raising kids is easy, no matter the sex.”

“But the way the world is…”

“I’m gonna tell you something my father in law told me when Izzy was pregnant with Matty. You can’t raise your children as your parents raised you because your parents raised you for a world that no longer exists. Cami was born in 2000, Matty in 2009. Talk about the changes in those years. We had to raise all of our kids completely different, even with them being just a few years apart.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Look, you can do this. I know you can.”

“Really, Barba?”

“Of course. If we can raise 5 decent kids, you’ll be fine,” Rafael chuckled.

“Thanks.”


	148. Chapter 148

“I hate Benson,” Amanda laughed as Izzy helped her zip her red bridesmaid’s dress.

“Why?”

“This dress makes me look like a whale.”

“You look fine.”

“And I’m sweating like a whore in church.”

“No comment.”

“Very funny, Izz.”

“Come on, let’s go make sure she’s ready.”

The walked into the room where Melinda was helping Liv finish getting ready.

“I’m not stupid for wearing white, am I?”

“What? Of course not,” Izzy told her. “Are you ready for this?”

“I finally am, Izzy. It’s taken us…years but we finally made it.”

“Brian’s a good guy.”

“He really is and I love him so much.”

“He loves you, too,” Melinda smiled.

“When are you and Fin going to make it official?”

“I know I’m not getting shit from the woman carrying Carisi’s child,” Warner teased.

“We’ve talked about it but this is as much humiliation as I’m willing to stand for the year.”

“You know, Amanda it could be worse. Our dresses could be white and you really would like a whale.”

“Damn, Izz.”

“I swear if you weren’t my best friend, I’d…”

“What? Sit on me.”

The four of them just started laughing when Rafael came in.

“I hate to interrupt whatever has you ladies laughing but it’s just about time.”

“We’ll see you out there,” Amanda told Liv as she squeezed her hand.

“Hey.” Rafael whispered as he grabbed his wife.

“What?”

“You didn’t spend a lot of money on this dress, did you?”

“No. Why?”

“Cause I’m ripping it off of you later.”

“Rafa.”

“What?”

“You need to stop.”

“Can’t help it.”

“I have to go. Make sure she gets where she needs to be.”

“I will. I love you.”

“Love you.”

“This is supposed to be my day,” Liv joked with her hands on her hips.

“You’ll get your kiss soon enough,” Izzy said as she stuck her tongue out at her Captain.

“Well, are you ready, Mrs. Cassidy?”

“I am, Rafa. Thank you again, so much for this.”

“Of course. You didn’t even have to ask. Did you ever get a hold of your brother?”

“He said he’d try to make it. Who knows, though.”

“Well, you’ve got me, Amaro, Fin, and unfortunately Carisi,” Rafael laughed.

“I do. You guys, your wives and girlfriends and kids, Noah and Brian, are all the family I need.”

“Well, come on. I believe I hear music starting.”  
______________________________________________  
“Whoa. What’s that?” Izzy asked her oldest daughter.

“Pinot grigio?”

“Excuse me?”

“Mom, I just turned 21.”

“And you’re drinking wine?”

“All I drink is beer at school.”

“Jesus.”

“I’m not gonna get drunk, Mom.”

“Please don’t.”

“I wouldn’t want vomit in my hair or on my shoes.”

“I’m gonna kill your father. Where is he?”

She found her husband with Fin and Nick at the bar during the reception. Sonny was talking to Olivia’s brother Simon, Rory seemed to be taking another history lesson from Munch while Cragen and Eileen were enjoying a dance, while everyone else sort of mingled.

“Hey, mi amor.”

“You told our daughter about the first time I got drunk?”

“I might’ve,” he laughed.

“I’m gonna kill you.”

“Hey, Izz, check it out,” Fin said as he motioned toward the door.

“Holy shit.”

“Who is that?” Amanda asked when she and Erin walked up.

“That’s Liv’s old partner and his wife,” Fin answered.

“No shit. That’s Stabler?”

“I can’t believe he’s here,” Izzy added.

None of them had seen or talked to him in almost a decade. When he left SVU, he made a clean break from everyone. Of course, Liv was the one that took it the worst. Rightfully so since they had been partners for 12 years.

“Fin.”

“Stabler. It’s good to see you, man,” he said as they hugged. “And Kathy. You look great.”

“Thanks, Fin.”

“Izzy long time no see.”

“Uh, you’re not kidding, Elliot. How are you?”

“I’m good. Rafael it’s nice to see you again.”

“You, too, Elliot.”

“Uh, Elliot Stabler this is Amanda Rollins and Nick Amaro.”

“Took two people to replace me, huh?” He laughed.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Fin laughed.

“Where’s the lovely bride?”

“Come on. I’ll take you to her.”

“See you guys later,” Kathy said with a smile and a wave.

“I can’t believe he’s here.”

“That makes most of us, Nick. I knew she had invited him but I honestly didn’t think he’d show,” Izzy remarked as she took a drink of her scotch.

“I say we get a closer seat to this.”

“Amanda.”

“What. You know you’re curious to how this is gonna go down.”

“You’re right. We’ll be back, guys.”  
___________________________________________  
Olivia and Brian were talking to Simon and his now wife Tracy when Elliot and Kathy walked up.

Rafael and Nick just kind of laughed at the fact that for detectives, Amanda and Izzy weren’t exactly going undetected.

“Congratulations,” Elliot said.

Liv was shocked before she turned around. That voice had been burned in her brain and she had never forgotten it. She slowly turned around.

“Elliot. I can’t believe…thank you both for coming,” she said as she hugged Elliot and Kathy.

“We’re a little late, I know but Dickie came in on a weekend pass. Can you believe it? He joined the Marines just like his old man.”

“You know, I can actually believe that,” Liv laughed.

“Cassidy it’s good to see you again.”

“No, it isn’t,” he laughed as they shook hands.

“Uh, Elliot, you remember my brother.”

“Of course. Simon. How’s it going?”

Simon and Tracy eventually excused themselves, leaving Cassidy, Liv, Elliot, and Kathy alone.

Soon it was just Elliot and Olivia with Kathy making her way over to Izzy and Erin at the bar.

“I can’t believe how grown your kids are, Izzy.”

“Me either. Cami is walking around with a glass of wine and I’m like, ‘wait, you’re 16’ but then it’s like ‘oh yeah, you just turned 21’.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, you don’t look like you have a 21 year old.”

“Thank you.”

“Mommy.”

“What’s up, buddy?”

“I’m getting tired.”

“I thought after Matteo, you couldn’t…”

“Bruno here is actually our foster son…for the moment. Bruno can you say hi to Miss Kathy?”

“Hi,” he said shyly.

“Why don’t you go find your Dad and see if he’s ready to go?”

“He’s with Uncle Sonny.”

“Do you know where?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Okay.”

“Was that the little boy who’s sister was found in a dog cage?”

“Yeah.”

“I remember reading about that and see your husband on TV. I also saw he’s the official District Attorney of Manhattan.”

“He is. He likes it.”

“I can’t believe it’s been so long. Liv is Captain now. You’re Lieutenant and Fin is…”

“Fin,” they both laughed.

“It was like pulling teeth to get him to take the Sergeant’s exam but he likes being in charge when Liv and I aren’t there.”

“Mi amor?”

“Hey, Rafa.”

“Ella, Gil, and RJ are going to the movies, Cami is going to meet up with some friends and Rory already headed home. You want to grab Matty so we can get these two home,” Rafael asked he walked up carrying Bruno.

“Sure. Kathy it was nice to see you again,” she said as they hugged. “I’m gonna say bye to Elliot real quick.”  
_____________________________________________  
“He keeps acting out every time we take him to see Manuela,” Rafael told Shantal and Pippa during a meeting at ACS. “I know legally since we’re not his parents, we have to take him to see her but he literally kicks and screams. Doesn’t want her touching him, then his nightmares about Keisha start back up. Usually, for a few days after, he’s quiet, sullen, he acts out at school. It’s only during that time, though, when we’ve taken him to Sing-Sing.”

“Well, we’ve been going over his therapists notes and it seems that he talks about his Mommy and Daddy a lot. Well, you two are the only stable family he’s had really,” Shantal told them. “He’s made so much progress in the almost 6 months he’s been with you. However, he has mentioned the ‘bad lady’ during his appointments.”

“You’re not thinking he needs to be moved?”

“No, nothing like that,” Pippa answered. “It’s more than evident he loves you two and your kids. He feels a part of your family. What we’ve been discussing in this case, that if you two are willing, we’d like to go ahead and start the adoption process.”

“Really?”

“In our last meeting, you did say that was your intention. That hasn’t changed, has it, Lieutenant?”

“Not at all,” Izzy replied to the ACS worker.

“This way, once the adoption is complete and Manuela is out of his life for good, he can continue to move forward instead of having these setbacks.” 

“I don’t think she’s gonna sign away her rights.”

“I’ve already been talking to her,” Pippa told Izzy. “Instead of serving her full sentence in the female gen pop, if she won’t fight the adoption then she can serve her sentence in protective custody. You know as well as I do, Lieutenant, that after what happened to Keisha, she’s a target. This way, she can at least get out of prison alive.”

“I’m assuming you’ll represent us, Pippa?”

“Of course, Rafael,” she smiled.

“Then let’s get it started.”  
______________________________________________  
“So, Bruno, we wanted to talk to you for a minute,” Rafael told him as he and Izzy sat in the floor of Bruno’s bedroom.

“Yes, Daddy?”

“You know how you have to see that ‘bad lady’ every month?”

“Yeah,” he answered quietly. “I don’t want to anymore.”

“Well, we are going to make it so you don’t have to.”

“Really?”

“Really. Your Mommy and I are doing a lot of work to keep that from happening. There’s going to be some changes in the next few months.”

“Like what?”

“Well, for one, when this is all over, you won’t be Bruno Ozuna anymore.”

“Who will I be?”

“Bruno Barba if that’s okay.”

“Can I have a different name?”

“What do you mean?”

“Can I have your name?”

“Well, you could, but that’s actually RJ’s name.”

“Oh. How about Batman?” He chuckled.

They both sort of laughed a long with him.

“I tell you what. You keep the name Bruno and when you get older, if you want to go by something else, we can talk about it.”

“Okay,” he nodded. “But I can still have your last name?”

“Absolutely. That will be your last name forever when this is all over and done with.”


	149. Chapter 149

The rest of 2022 was mostly uneventful. Amanda gave birth to her and Carisi’s son, Giovanni Dominick Carisi and when he told her he wanted to make an honest woman out of her, she gladly accepted.

Their wedding was a small event in Staten Island. It took place on a beautiful summer afternoon. Jesse and Billie were flower girls for their mother while Bruno was the ring bearer. Carisi held baby Dominick during the ceremony so their whole family could be involved. 

They announced at the reception that Carisi was in process of officially adopting both Jesse and Billie. Declan hadn’t seen Jesse in two years and Al would show up when it was convenient for him.

They both had always seen Sonny as their dad anyways, especially Jesse.   
___________________________________________  
Rafael and Izzy had taken Bruno to see Manuela one last time before his adoption became official. Of course, they had to get the guards because she wouldn’t let him go. 

Rafael kept Bruno’s attention on him as they could hear Manuela crying and screaming that Bruno would always be her baby and she would be back for him one day, as they left.

“I don’t have to go back now?”

“Never again,” Rafael assured him as he buckled him into his car seat. “Lo prometo, mijo.”

“Good,” he said with the biggest smile. “Can we get ice cream?” He had been with them for nearly a year at that point and it almost felt like “why hadn’t he been there all along”.

“Sure,” Izzy smiled. “As much as you want.”

The almost hour drive back to Manhattan was quiet for the most part.

“What did she mean when she said she’d be back for me?”

“Uh…nothing, mijo. It was just talk. She was upset and didn’t know what she was saying. Okay?”

“Yeah, okay, Daddy,” he responded quietly. 

“Hey, listen to me. You’re not going anywhere. No one is going to take you from us. Remember what the judge said in court?”

“Yeah,” he smiled.

“Anytime you start to have any worries about Manuela, remember what Judge Langan said.”

“Okay,” he nodded.  
____________________________________  
The twins were getting ready to graduate high school the following Spring (2023) with RJ signing a letter of intent to play football for Penn State.

“I’m not sure about this,” Rafael told his wife as they laid in bed one night before Christmas.

“What do you mean?”

He closed the copy of Tom Wolfe’s 2016 book “The Kingdom of Speech” and took off the round frames he had become so fond over the years. 

“What if he gets hurt, mi amor?”

“I know, Raf but he’s been working for this…”

“I get that but how many college football players careers end while they’re in college? He’s got his heart set on trying to go pro and I’ve explained to him that the chances of that happening…”

“Honey at some point, we’re gonna have let the kids make their own decisions.”

“I just don’t want him putting all his hopes on that. I want him to get a good education and have something to fall back on.”

“I understand.”

“Has Ella made any decisions about school?”

“NYU is her first choice.”

“And she’s seriously wanting to get a degree in Forensic Science and join the police academy when she graduates?”

“She’ll probably change her mind.”

“I don’t know. I mean out of the three girls, she’s the most like you. When she gets something in her head, there’s usually no stopping her.”

“Well, we have 6 kids. Can’t be too surprised one of them wants to be like me. I mean you’ve been grooming Matty to carry on your legacy since he was 7.”

“I have not,” he chuckled.

“Hey, why don’t you shut the door?”

“Really?”

“We’re 48, not dead, right?”

“I’m sure not.”

They made love for almost an hour that night. Rafael always managed to surprise himself that even though he was getting older, he could still hold up pretty well in the bedroom.  
_______________________________________________  
{2023}  
With two graduating high school and one graduating college, Rafael and Izzy had their hands full.

Cami would be taking her Praxis test after graduation since she had spent most of her last year of college completing a teacher-prep program.

Rory was going to spend the summer at Harvard, taking a few extra classes and studying for her MCATs and had planned to apply to the best medical schools.

Ella had been accepted to NYU and had no plans to move out of her parents’ house.

“We were only gonna have two left,” Rafael mock whined.

“With her schedule, we probably won’t see her much, Rafa.”

“We’ve spent the summer moving rooms cause Bruno wanted to be upstairs with Matty and now…”

“Hush. Cami is sharing an apartment with a couple of friends so that’s one you don’t have to worry about.”

“Is Matty really gonna be a freshman this year?”

“Yes, dear.”

“How’s Ella doing since she and Gil…you know.”

“She’s doing okay. She said she sort of expected it since he’s been going to school in Florida. I mean, they were lucky to make the year they did.”

“I think they’ll end up back together.”

“Really?”

“I have a feeling about this. Look at us.”

“We were only broke up for 6 weeks.”

“Still, I knew we were gonna end up together. Was I wrong?”

“No,” she smiled. “You remember my 30th high school reunion is next week?”

“And mine’s the week after,” he laughed. “Are you sure you want to go?”

“Why not? It’ll be fun. You’re probably the most successful of your graduating class.”

“I think someone I graduated with is on Broadway.”

“Who has more influence in this city?”

“These days? Really? You know we run the risk of running into…”

“I’m aware.”  
__________________________________  
“Ella please keep an eye on your brothers while we’re gone.”

“Dad, I’m 18. I can handle a 5 and a 14 year old.”

“No boys.”

“Dad! Will you two just go? It’s your high school reunion and you’ve never went to one.”

“There’s a reason for that, too.”

They arrived at Rafael’s old high school, dressed to the nines since the invitation said formal.

“How do I look?”

“You are going to be the most beautiful woman in the whole place,” he told his wife as he kissed her cheek while they walked in. “And you know what the best part about tonight is?”

“What’s that?”

“You’re here with me.”

“Still so cheesy at times,” she giggled.

“The last time I was in here…well, I wasn’t with the right person. Now I am.”

They were greeted by Eddie and the woman he had been seeing for about a year, Michelle Perez. She was dark headed, sweet, and seemed to be really good for Eddie. The four of them found a table and talked about their kids. Michelle had two of her own from a previous marriage as well. 

“Rafael?”

Izzy didn’t even have to turn around when she heard a very familiar female voice come from behind them. Eddie stiffened when he looked up and saw Yelina.

“Uh…hey, Yelina.”

“Is this seat taken?”

The four of them just kind of looked at each other, Michelle seeming a little lost. Eddie finally motioned for her to sit.

“I’m gonna get another drink. Michelle would you like to join me?”

“Sure, Izzy,” she smiled as they got up. “Who is that?”

“Keep walking and I’ll tell you.”

Izzy told Michelle an abridged story of who Yelina was and the story of her husband. Michelle had lived in Boston in 2013 so she had no idea about the scandal surrounding his mayoral bid and Eddie had told her just the minimalist of details as he had wanted to forget all about how Alex had basically hung him out to dry.

They returned to the table with drinks for Rafael and Eddie as well to find Yelina still sitting at their table. It was obvious she was flirting with Rafael or at least trying to.

Pictures were going up on a screen behind the DJ.

“Rafi look. It’s us on Prom night,” Yelina practically gushed.

“Yeah, I see,” he said dismissively.

“I’ll never forget that night. Do you remember the last song we danced to?”

“That was 30 years ago, Yelina. You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t remember trivial details anymore.”

“How could you forget? You promised me.”

“Promised her what, Rafa?”

“That he would always love me. Does that refresh your memory?”

“Is that right?” Izzy asked. “Did you promise her that, Raf?”

“I was young and didn’t know any better,” he said with a smile toward his wife.

“Rafi come on.”

“Yelina are you serious with this right now? You’re really going to sit here and think that I have any of those feelings toward you after 30 years? You made your choice and let me know all about Thanksgiving 1993. You know, there is something that I have wanted to say to you for years.”

“What’s that, Rafi?” She smiled, making sure to look Izzy directly in the eye.

“Thank you.”

“What-what do you mean?”

“For leading me to this beautiful woman right here,” he said as he took his wife’s hand. “If it hadn’t been for what you did, I probably wouldn’t be happily married for 23 years now and have 6 of the most beautiful children to walk this earth. Again, thank you so much.”

Her smiled had faded as he spoke and Izzy was doing her best not to laugh, as was Eddie and Michelle. Yelina finally took the hint and got up from the table.

Once she was out of sight, the laughter from the four of them just hit.

“Hey, Rafi, what do you say the four of us get out of here and actually have a good time?”

“You know what, Eddie? I like that idea. Mi amor?”

“We’re kind of overdressed…but what the hell?”

The four of them, with Rafael’s “connections” enjoyed a nice dinner at Eleven Madison Park.

“Rafi I can’t let you pay.”

“Eddie you can and you will,” he told him. “I picked the place so it’s my treat. Besides, I’m only paying for one kid to go to college right now.”

“Well, thank you. It’s our treat next time.”

“You got it, Eddie.”  
________________________________________  
“Is there anyway we can stop this, Pippa?” Izzy asked as she and Rafael sat in her office, receiving news that Manuela was possibly being paroled in 2024 due to good behavior.

“I’m trying, Izzy. I really am. She was only given eight years and she did show remorse for what happened to Keisha once she detoxed. She’s staying clean, a model prisoner really.”

“So was Gregory Yates.”

“Next year, Bruno will be 7 and he doesn’t need her…”

“She won’t be allowed contact with him, the adoption can’t be vacated, and this isn’t in stone. It’s just a possibility and I thought it was fair that you guys heard it from me, rather than it be a surprise.”

“We appreciate that, Pippa,” Rafael told her.

“I’m doing the best I can to make her serve her entire sentence but in the end…”

“It’s not up to you. We get it.”

“Anything happens, you’ll hear it from me first. You have my word.”

They thanked her for her time as they left.

“You gonna be okay, cariño?”

“Yeah. I’m just…I’m gonna go back to the office. Liv’s out so…someone has to keep the circus under the tent.”

“Hey…” he said as he stopped her from walking away. “It’s gonna be okay. Pippa’s gonna fight this. You know her.”

“I know,” she smiled.

“I love you, mi vida.”

“I love you, too, baby.”


	150. Chapter 150

“Fin you’re really retiring?” Nick asked as they sat around the 16th precinct one afternoon in early 2024.

“It’s time, Amaro. Hey, maybe they’ll finally promote you.”

“Doubt it,” Nick scoffed. “What are you gonna do?”

“Well, Melinda and I are taking Ken, Alejandro, Jayden, Rosie, and her daughter Alicia on a vacation to the Caribbean first off then…I’m gonna pull a Munch.”

“You’re moving to Florida?” Amanda asked.

“No. I’m joining Cassidy as a Special Investigator for the DA’s office, Rollins.”

“Did you know about this, Izz?”

“Uh, yeah, Rollins. I did,” she smiled.

“And you couldn’t tell us?”

“Not my business to tell, Liv,” she shrugged.

“Come on, guys. I’ve put more than enough time in. Now it’s time for me to enjoy life. It took me forever to realize that there’s more to life than SVU. Honestly, I have all of you to thank for that, too.”

“You know you’re not getting out of here without a party,” Liv smiled.

“I hate parties, Liv.”

“I know. That’s why the Lieutenant and I are going to throw you the biggest party ever.”

“We are?”

“You kept a secret from me so yeah, ‘we’ are,” Benson told her.

“You suck, Captain.”

“Have you been talking to Cassidy?” Nick teased, making them all laugh.

“Okay, back to work. That includes you, Sergeant Tutuola.”

“That’s some bullshit,” Fin laughed as he took his feet off his desk.  
_________________________________________  
“So how many times have you seen this woman at Bruno’s soccer practice, Lucy?”

“The last three or four times, Izz. She just stands off in the distance. It’s been very strange. I don’t know who she is or who she’s watching but you could look into it?”

“Thanks, Lucy. Uh, if I showed you a picture, could you maybe point her out?”

“I’ve seen her face a few times. I’m sure I can.”

Lucy had been Noah’s nanny forever and while she still helped with him when needed, she had taken on Bruno as well.

Izzy pulled out her phone and showed Lucy a picture of Manuela.

“That’s her.”

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely. She’s cleaned up but I know those eyes. Who is she?”

“Bruno’s birth mother.”

“I knew she looked familiar. I’m so sorry, Izzy.”

“It’s not your fault, Lucy. She was just released from prison a month ago. Our lawyer tried to fight it but…okay. I’m gonna call my brother in law and see if he can spare some Uni’s to start watching the practices.”

Mike had made Captain and had been moved to Major Crimes. They typical dealt with kidnappings if they weren’t kicked to SVU and she knew he would be more than willing, if possible, to have an eye kept on his nephew.  
__________________________________________  
It was a Spring Saturday afternoon in 2024 when Bruno had a game. Rafael, Izzy, Liv, Brian, Amanda, Sonny, Mike, Alice, Tony, Erin, Matty, Ella, Nick, Cynthia, Fin, Melinda, and the grandparents were there to cheer him on.

They were also watching their surroundings, especially the cops of the group, looking for Manuela.

It wasn’t long when Izzy noticed a woman in the distance with a pink cap on, standing against a tree. She didn’t need her glasses to see who it was. She slowly got out of the stands and walked a good way around before tapping the woman leaning against the tree on the shoulder, scaring the shit out of her.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to watch my son.”

“Manuela you are not supposed to have any contact with him.”

“And I haven’t.”

“Am I going to have to arrest you for stalking?”

“You turned him against me.”

“You did that all on your own when you killed his sister. I don’t care that he’s only 6. He wants nothing to do with you.”

Izzy wasn’t even paying attention when she heard her husband’s voice.

“This is your one warning to stay away from OUR son, Ms. Ozuna.”

“That lawyer tricked me,” she said as she poked herself in the chest.

“I’m telling you to leave, now. I have cuffs in my back pocket and I will use them,” Izzy told her. “If you care anything about him, you don’t want him to see that.”

“You might’ve signed a piece of paper but he’s still my baby boy.”

“Yeah. I still remember the night I met him. You were mother of the year, Manuela. Now get the fuck out of here and don’t ever come back. Stay away from him.”

She looked at Rafael and Izzy before turning and walking away. They watched as she got into an old beat up car and left.

“Come on, mi amor. Let’s go watch our son.”  
_____________________________________________  
Liv stayed true to her word as she and Izzy threw Fin a big retirement party. Cragen showed up as did Munch. Stabler had been invited but this time, he didn’t show. Fin’s feelings weren’t exactly hurt as they were never the best of friends to begin with. Fin’s family showed up, including his ex-wife Terry. Some of his old colleagues from Narcotics also came.

So many people made speeches in Fin’s honor.

“My first day in Manhattan SVU, I was greeted by a female detective, not Liv cause she was working with the FBI at the time, that thought I was coming from the academy,” Izzy started to which everyone laughed. “I barely had time to sit my stuff down when Cragen walked in and called me and Fin to his office. He told us we’d have plenty of time to get know each other as we were partnered up that day. Fin looked out for me. He saved my life, more than once. He also saved the life of my 5th child. For that, I will be forever grateful.”

“I had your back, Shorty,” he chuckled.

“You did, Fin. Our first case together, I knew I could trust you. Of course, when Dodds transferred to JTTF, I lost several rounds of rock, paper, scissors as to who was taking the Sergeant’s exam. When I was studying for it, Fin told me, ‘why are you even looking at that book? You got this.’ And he was right. We’ve all been switched around and partnered up differently over the years but, Odafin Tutuola, you were my first partner at the 16th. The first person I could trust and you will forever be a part of my family. One thing I’m gonna miss the most is of course, our impromptu sing-a-longs,” she laughed. “I love you, Fin.”

He stood up and gave his Lieutenant and sometimes partner a tight hug.

“I’m still gonna be around. You know that, Shorty,” he smiled as he pulled away from her.

“I know,” she replied as she wiped her eyes. “It’s just gonna be a little quieter without you.”

“I’ll come by for us to drop a song now and then.”  
__________________________________________________  
“Hey, Lucy,” Izzy answered her phone as she sat at her desk on October afternoon in 2024.

“Izzy?”

“Lucy what’s wrong?” She asked as she could tell her nanny was in tears.

“I…uh…I took Bruno to the park and I turned my back for a second and he’s…he’s gone.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t find him anywhere.”

“Okay. Calm down. Stay there.”

“I’m so sorry…”

“Lucy just calm down. I’ll be right there.”

She hung up her phone and told Liv what was going on.

Liv sent everyone, including UNI’s and called Mike to have Major Crimes on the scene, too.  
___________________________________________  
“He was on the bars, swinging from one to the other and I turned to answer a call from Rafael and he was…he was gone.”

“It’s okay, Lucy. It’s not your fault.”

“I should’ve been watching…”

“Shhh…” Izzy whispered as she hugged her. Truth was, she was a mess herself but was doing everything she could to hold it together.

Rafael showed up on the scene not long after.

Izzy told him what Lucy told her.

“Did you see Manuela hanging around?”

“No,” she shook her head as she sniffled when Rafael asked.

“Lucy why don’t you go home? He can’t be far.”

“Rafael…”

“Lucy it’s not your fault. Okay? He does like to explore.”

A UNI took Lucy home while the park was searched.

Mike walked up with Bruno’s jacket.

“Oh god,” Rafael whispered as he felt sick at his stomach.

“Let’s not panic, Rafael. A couple of people said they saw Manuela in the park.”

“We need to talk to her parole officer, family…”

“Izzy you can’t touch this,” Liv said as she walked up.

“Really, Liv? You’re gonna tell me I have to stand down when I covered for you when Sheila took Noah?”

“Mi amor…”

“NO. That’s our son! Not hers!”

“Barba maybe you should get her home.”

“FIND HIM,” he told Liv and Mike as he walked his wife away.

“I can’t go home. I have to find him, Rafa.”

“Liv will. She found Noah…”

“Which means I need to be working this.”

“Harris won’t allow it and you know that.”  
______________________________________________  
Izzy and Rafael couldn’t sleep or eat. Cami left her apartment, Rory came home from Harvard, and RJ made it in record time from Penn State.

Izzy was going through every adoption document she could. Every file on the original case.

“Babe?”

“What?” She snapped at her husband.

“It’s 3 in the morning.”

“He’s out there. She has him.”

“I know. I know,” he said as his voice cracked. “They’ll find him.”

“What if…what if she does something to him?” She asked as she broke down in tears again for at least the 50th time since Bruno had went missing.

“He’s gonna be okay. He’s a fighter. Look at everything he’s dealt with in his 7 years. He’s your child,” he sort of chuckled through his tears.

“I just want him back, Rafa.”

“Me, too, baby.”

“You guys still up?”

“Yeah, Matty. You have school in the morning.”

“I’m not going until I know my brother is safe. You need any help going through those files, Mom?”

“Uh, sure, Matty.”

The three of them sat in their living room reading over every detail and drinking coffee.

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“Okay, Uncle Sonny said the parole officer said she did check in Friday, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And they’ve checked her last known address and found nothing?”

“That’s right.”

“What about this?” He asked as he handed her a piece of paper. “Didn’t you say Manuela’s mother died two years ago?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, this place in Queens is still listed in her name.”

“Good catch, Matty,” his father told him. “What are you doing, mi amor?”

“Going to get our son.”

“Baby, call Liv.”

“No! We promised him and I’m going to get him.”

Rafael walked to their bedroom and grabbed her bulletproof vest and gave it to her after she got dressed.

“Don’t call Liv. I don’t need HNT, ESU or any of those guys out there. It could spook her.”

“Okay, cariño.”

She grabbed her Glock out of the safe, made sure she had one in the chamber and a full cartridge ready if she needed it.

“Ten cuidado (be careful), mi amor.”

“Siempre, Rafa.”  
_____________________________________________________  
She slowly pulled up to the address off the paper that Matty had given her in her personal vehicle. It looked condemned from the outside. She decided to just sit and wait until at least day break before making a move.

She looked all around to see if there was anyway she could get in undetected. Once the sun began to rise, she saw one. It was a broken window that apparently led to a basement.

She quietly got out of her SUV and went to that window. She looked inside and saw there wasn’t a big drop for her if she went in so she did.

“C’mon eat your breakfast,” she heard Manuela telling Bruno.

“I want my Mom and Dad.”

“I’M YOUR MOM!!! YOUR DAD IS DEAD!!!”

“Just like Keisha,” he told her quietly.

“What did you just say to me?”

“You’re not my mom anymore.”

Izzy knew she heard the sound of a slap as she tried to find her way into the rest of the house to save her son.

She found a stairwell and a door. 

“We’re gonna be back together soon, baby,” she heard Manuela tell Bruno. “I’m sorry for what I did.”

Izzy didn’t hear anything else, scaring her to death as she kept hearing Manuela apologizing. She decided “fuck it” and busted the door from the basement but it didn’t lead to the kitchen. She kept her gun drawn as she tried to find it and Bruno.

“Drop the gun, Lieutenant,” she heard Manuela say as she felt cold steel on the back of her head.

“Okay. Okay,” she said as she held her hands up.

“Unload it first.”

Izzy popped the one from the chamber and dropped the cartridge out.

“Put it on the counter.”

She did as Manuela said as she pushed her to a very old and faded recliner.

“Don’t move.”

Bruno came in from the kitchen and ran straight to Izzy.

“Mommy!”

“I’m here, baby.”

“Get away from her, Bruno. She’s not your Mommy. Get over here with me.”

“Do what she says, Bruno,” Izzy whispered with a nod so he did.

She kept the gun on Izzy while holding onto Bruno, not letting him go anywhere near his mother.

“I want my Mommy.”

“I’M YOUR MOMMY!!”

“No, you’re not!!”

“Bruno baby just stop fighting. Okay? It’s going to be okay.”

“I don’t want to go with her, Mommy.”

“Don’t cry, baby. It’s gonna be okay.”

“Is it?! You got your cop buddies on their way? Huh?!”

“No. No, Manuela. No one knows from my squad knows I’m here.”  
_________________________________________________  
It had been 12 hours since Izzy had left the house and Rafael hadn’t heard anything. He finally called Mike. 

“I know where she is.”

“Where?”

“She’s found Bruno. I’m gonna send you an address where you can meet me in 10 minutes.”

“Do I need to call back-up?”

“They don’t need to storm the place. Everything needs to be unmarked, no sirens, no lights.”

“You got it.”

“Dad?”

“Yeah, Ella?”

“What are you doing with Mom’s Beretta?”

“She needs it.”

“Dad.”

“Ella, please.”

“Is Uncle Mike gonna give you Kevlar?”

“I hope.”

“Be careful, please.”

“I’m going to get your Mom and brother.”  
___________________________________________________________  
Rafael and Mike pulled up to the house that Izzy and Bruno were in.

“There’s a broken window…”

“Rafael I’d rather you let me…”

“No! It’s past time I stopped hiding behind a desk.”

“You don’t have to be the hero.”

“I just want my wife and son.”

“I’ll be right behind you the whole time.”

“Thanks.”

Mike instructed Rafael how to get in the window, following him inside. They saw where the door had been busted in by Izzy.

“Manuela just let him come home and this can all be forgotten,” he heard Izzy say.

“You think I’m going to buy that, puta? You just wanted my son. You wanted to be the hero.”

“Our adoption was never…”

“SHUT UP!!!”

Izzy had only been in the house for 9 hours but nothing she said would make Manuela change her actions. She’d let Bruno eat, go to the bathroom, etc but Izzy, while she wasn’t afraid for her life, per se, she was afraid for Bruno.

“You and the DA had this planned from the get. I know people like you. You just throw money at a problem and it goes away. Yeah, I don’t have money like you do but this is still my baby.”

“No, I’m not!!”

“Bruno hush baby,” Izzy told him.

“See? You have him brainwashed!”

All of a sudden, Manuela felt cold steel against the back of her head and Izzy was surprised to her husband on the other end of the gun.

“Let go of my son and get that fucking gun off my wife or I’ll blow your brains all over this place.”

Manuela was shocked to say the least and let Bruno go, who ran to Izzy, and put the gun on the floor.

Mike came up and placed her under arrest.

“Barba? Barba?”

“What, Carisi?” He asked in an almost clouded state.

“Give me the gun.”

He let Carisi disarm him and fell to his knees. Bruno ran from Izzy into Rafael’s arms.

“Thank you, Daddy.”

He slowly caught his breath as his son hugged him.

“I’m here, mijo.”

“You saved us,” he said as he continued to hug Rafael’s neck as hard as he could.

Rafael was actually shaking but he still held his son and his wife when she joined them. That big, brass ego had taken over for a short time but then he was just a father and a husband trying to save his son and wife.

He honestly felt like he was going to pass out after all the adrenaline had left him. Izzy made him get into an ambulance to be checked out. He was fine. Just shook up more than anything.

Izzy had taught him how to use her guns over the years if he ever needed to. He had the 9mm Beretta ready if he had to use it but Izzy knew he would never kill anyone. The threat coming from him was enough to scare Manuela.   
__________________________________________________  
“Mom?” Bruno asked about a month after the events with Manuela went down.

“Yeah, Bruno?”

“Can I talk to you guys?”

“Sure,” Izzy said as she motioned for him to get on their bed. “What’s up?”

“I’ve been doing some thinking.”

“Really?” Rafael sort of chuckled at the 7-year-olds choice of words.

“I don’t want to be ‘Bruno’ anymore.”

“Okay?” 

“Dad said a few years ago that we could talk about a change later if I wanted.”

“Honey you’re only 7,” Izzy told him.

“I know but, SHE named me Bruno. I don’t want anything that she’s given me, other than my blood.”

“Well, what do you want your name to be?” Rafael asked.

“I was thinking William Anthony; both of my grandfather’s names. You can still call me ‘Bruno’ as a nickname, I guess or Will would be okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am, Dad. I don’t want anything she gave me that I have a choice about.”

“You sure are grown up for a 7-year-old,” Rafael laughed.

“Would that be okay, Dad?”

“You realize if we do this, it’s permanent?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay, then. William Anthony Barba you shall be.”


	151. Chapter 151

“What was so important you had to drag us all the way into the city on a Saturday?” Anthony laughed when she and Stella showed up shortly after Lucia and Bill on cold day before Christmas 2024.

“Your youngest grandson asked that you guys come over because he wanted to give his grandfather’s their Christmas presents early.”

“Fair enough. Got a beer?”

“What kind of question is that?” Izzy laughed as she hugged her parents.

“You always look for food when you come to our house,” her dad replied.

“Come on. I’ve made lunch.”

They all sat in the dining room as Izzy and Rafael brought out the lasagna she had spent all morning on, salad, and bread.

“Izz I don’t see how you have time to cook these delicious meals, be a mother and a wife, plus a Commanding Officer in the NYPD,” Lucia chuckled after she swallowed another bite.

“It’s not easy.”

“Where are our grandchildren?” Dodds asked.

“They went out for pizza and had to pick up a few things. They’ll be back soon, I’m sure.”

“Well, if Bruno wants to give us our Christmas presents early, I would hope so,” Dodds laughed.

Soon, Ella, Matty, and Bruno came in. Bruno was holding two boxes that were wrapped in shiny red paper with green ribbon around them.

“Hey, there he is,” Anthony said as he picked Bruno up and put him in his lap. “Is this for me?”

“Yes, it is. Dad can you hand this one to Papa Dodds?” He asked as he handed the box to Rafael.

“Sure.”

“I want you guys to open them at the same time,” the 7-year-old told them.

They took the tops off the boxes after untying the ribbon and pulled out frames.

Anthony reached for his reading glasses so he could see what the framed paper said.

“What is this about?” He asked as he looked at what seemed to be a copy of Bruno’s new birth certificate.

“Do you want to tell them?”

“Sure, Mom. I decided after my birthday and that stuff that happened, I wanted a new name. RJ already has Dad’s name so I thought of the other two best guys I know.”

“So, you’re not Bruno anymore?”

“No.”

“We’ve been getting in the habit of calling him ‘Will’,” Izzy told her Dad and father in law. “That’s what he asked for as his Christmas present.”

She looked at the former fire chief and former NYPD chief, who both were fighting tears. 

“Well, this is…uh…this is the best Christmas present I think I’ve ever gotten,” Anthony told him. “Will.”

“I second that. This is going right up in mine and Abuelita’s living room.”

Lucia and Stella were even in tears as well.

“Why didn’t you guys tell us this was happening?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Bruno/Will told Stella.

“You are too smart for your age,” she smiled. 

“Why don’t you go finish reading your book, buddy?”

“Okay, Dad,” he smiled before hugging them all and left.

“He picked his name as William Anthony?”

“He did, Dad. He told us, a few nights after everything happened with Manuela, that he didn’t want to be called Bruno anymore because she named him that and he wanted nothing from her in his life,” Rafael told them.

“If you guys hadn’t taken him…who knows what could’ve happened to him,” Lucia added as she wiped her eyes.

“Well, you and Stella did help a lot with getting him caught up, Mami. We can’t thank you enough for all of your help over the years.”

“It was our pleasure.”  
_____________________________________________  
It was Spring Break 2025 meaning RJ was in from school. Rory was spending her week off from medical school with her long time boyfriend, Chris. He was the one that she had met her Freshman year at Harvard and became friends with first.

They’re story was very similar to her parents. They were virgins, hadn’t had a lot of experience with the opposite sex but were completely in love.

Chris was in his first year at Harvard law, which made Rafael really like him.

RJ and Izzy were sitting the living room, trying to find something on TV when she finally just gave up and threw the remote to him. She knew she had some housework that needed done while Will was over at Mike and Alice’s with Connor and Rafael had taken Matty to get his driver’s license.

“Hey, bro, guess what’s in my wallet?”

“It’s round, it’s rubber and you’ll never use it,” RJ remarked.

“At least I know how to give a girl an orgasm,” Matty shot back at his big brother.

“Oh, dear Christ. I don’t want to know how you know,” Rafael said he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are you going to start coming to me with this kind of stuff now?”

“I’m not gonna kiss and tell like Junior. I mean, I’m still a virgin but I know what the hell I’m doing otherwise.”

“Hey, my girlfriends have been satisfied.”

“Are you sure about that, Junior?”

“Okay, that’s enough with this conversation, boys.”

“Poor Dad. He didn’t know anything until he was in his 20s,” RJ teased.

“I knew plenty, thank you. I’ve been with your mother for 31 years now? Trust me, it’s not just my cooking that’s kept her around.”

“OH MY GOD, DAD, GROSS!!!” RJ exclaimed while Matty just laughed.

“You want to keep fucking with me? Just keep coming back, boys.”

“Hey, I didn’t say anything, Dad. That was your oldest son. I know better.”  
___________________________________________  
“I don’t care what you say, Amaro. I have game,” Carisi laughed as the guys sat around at Brady’s.

“So, you say.”

“Please I could walk up to any woman in here and get their number. It’s not like I would use it but I’m just saying.”

“That sounds like a challenge,” Barba laughed as he took a drink of his scotch.

“What sounds like a challenge?” Liv asked as she, Izzy, Cynthia, Amanda, Melinda, and Alice walked up.

“Carisi thinks he’s still got game,” Cassidy responded as he moved to give Liv his seat.

“Oh, you do?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,’Manda,” Carisi blushed.

“Besides, we all know who’s got the most game at this table.”

“Oh, come on, Barba,” Fin chuckled.

“Who’s been getting laid on the regular since they were 19? Any of you? Oh, and I don’t mean random hook-ups? Anyone? Show of hands? No?”

“I have an idea,” Alice spoke up. “How about a bet?”

“What do you mean?” Mike asked as his eyes narrowed.

“The ones of you that are married, take off your rings, leave them with us, and go see how many numbers you can get.”

“What does the winner get?”

The guys looked at each other before Nick spoke. “We all lay $100 down and whoever gets the most, gets the pot.”

“Works for me,” Rafael shrugged as he pulled off his ring and handed it to Izzy.

“Wait, wait, wait. We have to add something to this.”

“What do you mean, Izz?”

“You guys pair off and be each other’s wingmen. BUT, you aren’t always there to help. As the wingman, you say off the wall shit and see if the other still gets the number.”

“This could be interesting,” Fin replied. “I got Amaro.”

“Carisi and Cassidy can pair up leaving you with your brother,” Izzy told her husband with a smirk.

“Let’s do this,” Cassidy said as he clapped and rubbed his hands together.  
___________________________________________  
The girls moved off to a table in the corner so they could watch.

Mike was talking to some cute blond, who couldn’t have been more than 25 when Rafael walked up to him.

“Hey, there you are, Mike.”

“Oh, uh, hey.”

“Oh my god, you’re the DA, aren’t you?” The girl asked him.

“I am.”

“I’ve seen you on TV. Is the Captain here your friend?”

“He’s my brother, actually.”

“No way. I’ve never been with brothers before.”

Before either of them could try to fuck with the other, she wrote down her number and gave it to both of them.

“Maybe we can…work something out,” she smiled as she walked off.

“What the hell just happened?”

“I have no idea, Mike. We’re at one each, though.”

“Moving on.”

Mike was talking to another girl, Rafael walked up again. 

“Yeah this is my wingman.”

“Yeah, I helped him take home…what was it two or all three of those girls last night?”

The girl just looked at Mike and walked away.

“Okay, shots fired.”

The girls were sitting at their table, dying laughing each time they saw one of the guys get shot down.

After an hour and a half, they came back to the table. Rafael had 4 numbers, Fin had 3, the other 4 had 2 each.

Fin had went up and asked Nick about a rash while he was talking to a girl.

Cassidy asked Carisi about a sex room he was building, causing two girls to walk away from him.

“Mike told that last girl I was a 50-year-old virgin,” Rafael said as he rolled his eyes with a laugh.

“Well, you still won, babe.”

“Just proving my point.”


	152. Chapter 152

“Have any of you guys ever heard of this so called religion, uh, Meyerism?” Nick asked as he walked into squad room one morning.

“Yeah, supposedly, the day after Tony and I were born, their leader climbed a ladder of burning light atop Huayna Picchu to get the universal truth or some such shit,” Izzy replied.

“What about it?” Carisi’s interest was piqued now.

“Zara said they had a booth set up on the NYU campus. Ella say anything to you about it, Izz?”

“No, she didn’t. I know she was working one the other day for one of the clubs she’s involved in. There’s so many, I can’t keep them straight. I thought they were based Upstate.”

“Yeah and apparently, they’re about to open a center here, in Manhattan.”

“Branching out, huh? This decade’s Scientology,” Izzy scoffed.

“Well, yeah more or less. I mean Zara said they were trying to get people to sign up and buy this so-called wellness cleanse package.”

“Sounds like a cult to me,” Amanda added.

“So, what’s this have to do with the case we’re working on now?”

“I was just making conversation. I’ve heard rumors about this Eddie Lane…”

“But they’re upstate, Amaro. Out of our jurisdiction,” Izzy reiterated. “Just out of curiosity, what have you heard, Nick?”

“He beats his ‘congregants’ or has someone do it. They force people to stay against their will. He has parents sign over guardianship of their kids to him. Even if the parents abandon the faith, the kids stay.”

“We can’t just start digging into them without cause and their center hasn’t even opened up here yet. “

“I just don’t think we should ignore them when they do move into town. That’s all I’m saying.”

“Well, Sergeant Amaro, I’ll keep that in mind. Anyways, what have you guys found on this psychiatrist?”  
___________________________________________  
“You look tired, mi amor.”

“With Liv being at that conference in Chicago, this case we’re dealing with, and Nick’s obsession with this religious movement that’s moving into the city, I just want to sleep.”

“Have you found anything on the psychiatrist?”

“Besides the fact that our victim is pregnant and still maintaining he raped her, even though he have video of her willingly letting him into her apartment? And him admitting that he had an affair on his fiancé? No.”

“I told Staines to get all the warrants…”

“And she did. But then, there’s also this. His fiancé was his patient to begin with.”

“What?”

“I mean, she says that they didn't start dating until after she stopped seeing him. But by then he knows exactly what makes her tick.”

“And how to manipulate her,” her husband added.

“Right. His power over her is almost pathological. I'm starting to think that Kitty actually told us the truth about what happened in that office.”

“Go back and sleep with your rapist? We've seen it before.”

“Shit. Rollins is calling. What’s up, Rollins?”

“Hey, I just got a heads up from the 11th Precinct. Patrol's responding to a 911 call at Josh Hensley's address right now.”

“I’ll meet you there. I’m sorry, babe. I know you cooked dinner…”

“It’ll be waiting when you get back,” he told her as he kissed her on the cheek before she left again.  
____________________________________________________  
They found their victim, Kitty Bennet with a broken wine bottle to Dr. Hensley’s throat.

She was telling his fiancé everything he had said to her the first time he raped her.

They were all shocked when his fiancé, Lana, told Kitty to kill him because he had done the same thing to her, saying the exact same words that he did to Kitty.

Liv had came back as Izzy and Amanda walked out of the interrogation room where they had just let Dr. Josh Hensley he was going away for a long time.

“I see you guys have everything under control.”

“Something like that,” Amanda told her. “His now ex-fiancé is willing to testify against him as well as our other victim…”

“The one that’s pregnant.”

“Yep. He’s gone.”

“Good work. Well, I just wanted to stop by and check in. I am going home to my guys.”  
______________________________________  
“Liv, Izz?”

“What’s up, Rollins?”

“I’ve got run out for just a minute.”

“Everything okay?”

“Uh, yeah. Just the babysitter called and can’t seemed to find Dominick’s ear drops. I won’t be gone long.”

“Okay.”

They both turned and looked at each other after Amanda left.

“You get the feeling she wasn’t being exactly truthful?”

“I was just about to ask you the same thing, Liv. I mean Carisi and Nick are talking to a witness, that’s actually not that far from her apartment. She could’ve just called him.”

“Keep an eye on her for me, will you?”

“You want me to tail her now?”

“No, I didn’t say that. Just watch out for anything that might signal trouble. You probably know her better than Carisi anyways.”

“Something like that.”

“In the meantime, I need you to go to the DA’s office and see if Staines’ has those warrants I asked for hours ago.”

“You want me to call in a favor? I mean I do sleep with Manhattan’s District Attorney.”

“Just get out of here,” Liv laughed. “And stay out of his office!”

“I’m going. And I make no promises,” Izzy teased.  
__________________________________  
Izzy and Liv went to Amanda and Carisi’s apartment a few evenings later.

“Hey what brings you by?” Amanda smiled when she opened the door but just enough.

“I was gonna see if you wanted to go with me and Liv for a drink? Get away from our kids for an hour or so.”

“You know I would but Dominick still hasn’t kicked his ear infection and Sonny is going over some files with Nick.”

“Mandy?” 

“Rollins is that who I think it is?” Izzy asked when she heard the female’s voice.

“It’s not a problem.”

“Everything okay? Oh, Izzy, Oliva. Long time no see.”

“Kim what blew you back into town?”

“I hadn’t met my nephew yet.”

“So, you just what, hopped on a plane and came up here? You thinking of cleaning out your sister’s apartment again, got some more warrants to skip out on?”

“Izz…”

“It’s not like that. I’m clean and I’m straight now.”

“Uh-huh. Okay, well, let’s go, Izzy,” Liv said they started to leave.  
_______________________________________________  
“Okay, so you’re sure Kim is working the streets again?”

“We don’t know who her pimp is yet, Liv, but Izzy and I tailed her for two hours last night. Here she is coming out of the Standard then we followed her to the Mandarin. These are high-class guys,” Nick told Liv as he showed her the pictures from the night before.

“Any reason to believe Amanda knows her sister is back to turning tricks?”

“I seriously doubt it, Liv.”

“Okay,” Liv sighed as she ran her hands over her face and through her hair. 

“What do you want us to do?”

“For now, keep tabs on her but do not let Amanda know until we have to.”

“Great. More night-shift for us,” Izzy snickered.

“We need to stay on top of her so she doesn’t try to bring her sister down. Rollins has come too far.”

“And what are you going to tell everyone else why we’re off the Richardson case?”

“I’ll handle it, Izzy. Kim’s gonna slip up. We know this. I just don’t Amanda involved if at all possible.”

“Copy that, Liv. Come on, buy me lunch, Amaro.”

“You got it, Lieu,” he laughed as he followed Izzy out of Liv’s office.  
___________________________________________  
“Another night of tailing Kim?”

“Unfortunately, Raf.”

“You know we have that dinner at Gracie Mansion tomorrow night.”

“I remember. I got the perfect dress and shoes for it.”

“I’m sure you did,” he laughed. “Okay. Well you and Nick be careful tonight.”

“As always,” she told him as she loaded her 9mm Beretta. “Has Carisi said anything to you about Kim staying with them?”

“He’s not happy by any means but she has them thinking she’s working nights at some diner in the Bronx.”

“Have you told him what we’re doing?”

“You know me better than that,” he smiled as he kissed her.

“You going out again tonight, Mom?”

“Yeah, I am, Will. I’m sorry. It’s just something that Aunt Liv has us doing. Special detail.”

“Be safe,” he told her as he hugged her. 

“I will.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too. Make sure you finish your homework.”

“I know.”

Another kiss good-bye and Izzy was out the door.  
___________________________________________  
A few nights later, Izzy and Rafael were startled by a loud knock on their door.

“Carisi? Everything okay?”

“Not really. Can I come in?”

“Of course,” Rafael told him as he took Billie by the hand, noticing Carisi had his hands full with Dominick and other things. Jesse walked in front of him, trying to help.

“Is Izzy here?”

“Living room.”

“Hey, Carisi.”

“Izz I need to talk to you.”

Rafael and Izzy could both tell something was upsetting him. 

“Hey, Jesse, why don’t we go see what Will is up to?”

“Sure, Uncle Rafa.”

“What’s up, Carisi?”

“This,” he said as he handed her bottle of pills.

“Why is Amanda taking Oxy and more importantly why does she have so many? You only get like a two week supply these days,” she asked as she further read the bottle. “Never mind. She’s only supposed to have two weeks’ worth.”

“I don’t think these are Amanda’s.”

“What do you mean?”

“Okay you know how Kim’s been staying with us?”

“Yeah.”

“And this case we have right now…Amanda and Nick are still at work right now. Liv sent me home.. Anyways, so I’m sitting at home with Jesse, Billie, and Dominick. Jess was in her room, or so I thought. She comes back with this bottle and I asked her where she got it and she took me to the guest room. You know that was Dominick’s room until Kim showed up on our doorstep. So, it’s my apartment, I figure I can go in there and check shit out.”

“Well, yeah.”

“Then I found these,” he said as took a Ziploc bag from the diaper bag. It was full of all sorts of narcotics; most of them were in Amanda’s name and prescribed by different doctors.

“Jesus Christ. Not only is she doctor shopping but she’s committing fraud doing it.”

“What am I going to do, Izz?”

“First of all, we need to contact these doctors and see if they have cameras, which I’m sure they do so we can prove it’s Kim. I’m gonna tell you something that I’m not supposed to.”

“What?”

“Nick and I aren’t working these late nights on the Richardson case. We’ve been tailing Kim.”

“What are you saying?”

“She’s back to prostitution.”

“Fuck. I told Amanda I didn’t want her around the kids.”

“Okay, why don’t you let the kids stay here tonight?”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. How many diapers are in there?”

“Enough to get him through for at least a day. I’m always prepared,” Carisi laughed.

“You sound like Rafael. He used to pack so much stuff for the kids, it was unreal.”

“Okay. So, are you sure?”

“Of course. Go talk to your wife.”

“And if she doesn’t believe me?”

“Call me. I’ll be there in 15 minutes.”

“15 minutes? Come on, Lieu…”

“I have lights and sirens on my SUV, remember that.”

“Got it. Thank you.”

“Not a problem. If you need me…”

“Yeah, I know.”

Carisi handed Dominick over and left.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where did he go?” Rafael asked as he came back with Jesse after a little while.

“He’s going to talk to Amanda.”

“And we’re babysitting on the first night in a week that you’re not tailing Kim?”

“So?”

“Ugh, fine,” Rafael said as he playfully rolled his eyes.   
___________________________________________  
Carisi had obviously not talked to Amanda the night before. Instead, he decided to call an intervention of sorts in Liv’s office the next morning.

“It’s simple. I don’t want Kim around my kids.”

“In case you forgot, Jesse and Billi don’t belong to you just yet,” Amanda snapped.

“Amanda please. Just listen to him,” Izzy pleaded.

“Jesse brought me this bottle, completely full of Oxy, then I found these. I know my wife and I know she hasn’t been doctor shopping.”

Amanda sat quietly as Carisi, Liv, Izzy, Fin, Nick, Rafael, and even Cassidy looked on.

“What do you guys expect me to do? She’s my sister,” she said with tears in her eyes.

“Amanda I love you but you cannot continue to be this blind. Think about if one of the kids had gotten this bottle open?”

“Sonny…”

“Look, here it is. Dominick belongs to me. If you allow Kim back in our apartment, he and I will be at Rafael and Izzy’s,” Carisi said as he cried.

“Amanda you get that he’s not trying to make you choose between him and your family but looking out for the family you two have created,” Fin told her.

Amanda just sort of nodded.

“Rollins you have to think about your kids,” Liv added. “You have so much to lose now. You have to ask yourself if it’s really worth it?”

“Look, we’re all family here, for better or worse. We have all been there for each other, thick and thin. That’s why we’re here now,” Izzy responded as she crouched down in front of Amanda.

“Uh…will you guys let me talk to her?”

“I want someone with you. Izzy?”

“Yeah, sure, Liv.”  
_____________________________________________  
Izzy and Amanda waited on Kim to show back up. Amanda knew she would show up around 10:30 am.

“Sorry, I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Kim said as she came in.

“Uh, no, Kim,” her sister told her, “No case today so we’re just having some coffee.”

“I ended up having to work a double at the diner last night. It was hell but I made a lot on tips.”

“Oh yeah? How much?”

“$500.”

“$500 from that greasy spoon diner?”

“Yeah. Drunk people tip well,” Kim laughed.

“I see.”

“Is something going on Amanda?”

“You tell me. I thought you were on the straight and narrow these days.”

“What are you talking about, Mandy?”

“You’ve been getting prescription narcotics in my name!!”

“Izzy what lie did you tell my sister?”

“Your niece brought these pills to my husband, Kim! What if she had gotten the bottle open?”

“Look I’m not going to stand here and be accused of something I didn’t do.”

“These aren’t my pills, Kimberly! We have you on video, using my name at several doctors!”

“You know what? You think because you run around with the DA’s wife and you’re married to guy from up here you’re so much better than me.”

“I am better than you, Kim! Look, all I’m asking that you please stop working for whoever you’re working for and turn yourself in for the pill fraud.”

“I’ve gotta go.”

Kim grabbed her bag and walked back out. Little did she know, she was being tailed by Fin and Cassidy, with permission from Rafael, of course.  
__________________________________________  
“You got eyes on her?”

“She went into the Luxemburg 15 minutes ago,” Izzy told Liv over the radio. “From what Nick and I have learned that she’s usually in with a john for about 30 minutes."

“You want us to go in?” Fin asked over his radio.

“Actually, Cassidy why don’t you go? Kim doesn’t know you.”

“Copy that, Lieu,” he responded before getting out of Izzy’s SUV.

“Brian.”

“I know, Izzy.”

“Okay.”

Cassidy asked around and found out what room Kim was in.

He was too late though. “I need a bus!!! Room 1529!!!” He called over his radio, causing everyone else to run inside.

Kim was laying on the floor, blood spewing from her mouth.

“Izzy?”

“What is it, Kim?”

“Tell…Amanda…I’m sorry.”

“Kim…”

“I…didn’t…have the…pills…to give…”

“An ambulance is on its way, Kim. Just hold on,” Izzy told her as she held her head. Didn’t matter that none of them trusted her or even liked her, they didn’t want Kim to die.  
______________________________________________  
Kim’s internal injuries proved to be too much and she passed away with Amanda in the room. Amanda came out in tears.

Carisi grabbed her before she could fall to the floor. “I got you,” he whispered against her hair. “It’s gonna be okay.”

None of them knew what to say and even if they did, Amanda didn’t want to hear it. She had to call her mom and tell her the news. Amanda couldn’t even get the words out so she handed the phone to Sonny.

They could hear Amanda’s mother screaming through the phone when she got the news.

“Why don’t you get her home,” Liv told him.

“Yeah. Rafael and I can take the kids.”

“Thanks,” Carisi said as he nodded before getting Amanda out of the hospital.


	153. Chapter 153

“What do we know about our victim?” Liv asked after they had found a girl, completely bound with a series of ropes tied together, bound at the back. They had seemed to have been pulled tighter and tighter until their victim had apparently lost consciousness.

“Her name was Lisa McPherson, 36, from Clearwater, Florida…”

“What did you say, Rollins? She was from Clearwater, Florida and her name was Lisa McPherson?”

“Yeah, Izz. Why?”

“I hate to pull an Amaro here but in 1995, a member of the Church of Scientology with that same name and that same age when she died.”

“How did she die?” Carisi asked.

“Embolism from bed rest and severe dehydration.”

“Wow, how can you remember that?”

“It was my Junior year of college and it happened right before finals. One of my classes that second semester, we talked about it…a lot. Mainly Scientology’s involvement. The family sued the church which of course they fought. Which over the years, it’s come out that millions were spent in a cover up of her death. Moving on, Warner’s report states that this Lisa McPherson’s died due to strangulation because the ropes on her body were pulled so tight…”

“After CSU did a complete sweep of the hotel room, look what they found,” Nick said after he walked up and sat down an evidence bag with an empty juice bottle from the Meyerist movement’s wellness package.”

“Okay, so for starters, we need to find out who our vic really is,” Liv told them.

“I’ve already got Warner running fingerprints. Uh, Liv, do you mind if I take a trip to Ithaca?”

“Uh, any particular reason, why, Izz?”

“Well, Nick said they found that bottle…I know someone that has done a lot of research into that group. I’m not saying they’re involved but this guy is an expert on religion, really.”

“Yeah. Go ahead. Want Nick to go with you?”

“Nah. I’m just looking for his actual professional opinion since he’s…”

“An expert. Got it. Be careful and let me know if you stumble across anything.”  
________________________________________________  
The almost 4 hour drive was boring to say the least. Izzy stopped for several cups of coffee and then had to stop and pee every time she turned around.

She got to the college, went to the information center, and went to find the professor she was looking for.

He was in the middle of a lecture on the “New American Religion” or something. Izzy wasn’t paying too much attention as she was texting Rafael and Liv to let them know she had made it safely.

The class cleared out once he was finished and she made her way to the front of the class.

“Elizabeth Rossetti.”

“Jackson Neill. It’s been a while.”

“Graduation party, 1995. You were joined at the hip with that nerd that lived with your brother.”

“That nerd is my husband now so it’s Elizabeth Barba.”

“Can’t say I’m surprised,” he sort of chuckled. “He’s the District Attorney of Manhattan now, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, he his.”

“And you are a Lieutenant for the NYPD.”

“Keeping up with me, Professor?”

“I do keep up with news from Manhattan on a weekly basis, at least. Not to mention the Harvard Alumni Newsletter that we get emailed once a month. Guessing that’s how you knew where to find me.” “What do you think? So do you know why I’m here?”

“You want to know about the Meyerist Movement that’s made their place in Manhattan.”

“You wrote an article about it. Seems like you’ve done some research.”

“I was, uh, involved so to speak with the wife of the leader for a short time.”

“Seriously?”

“It’s not what you think. They’re separated.”

“Got it. You think this movement is dangerous at all?”

“Your beloved Catholicism could be considered dangerous.”

“Don’t be a jerk, Jackson.”

“Honestly? I’d say Eddie Lane is on par with Jim Jones.”

“Do you know of any kind of rituals they partake in?”

“They have one I've heard about. Actually found it on an 8mm film that Lane's wife had brought to me. It’s called a ‘hypoxian cleanse’. Basically, they are bound in rope and ‘choke’ out their transgressions.”

“You’re kidding.”

“To me, it’s akin to autoerotic asphyxiation. You came a long way to ask me about this.”

“You’re the expert on religion and I mean they have their main center up here.”

“It’s something else.”

“I’m not at liberty to discuss…”

“You found someone dead from this so called cleanse?”

“It’s looking like it, yeah, honestly.”

“I know Cal Roberts is running the center in Manhattan. Now, after my liaison with Sarah Lane, I’ve talked to people that have actually made it away from Meyerism and they say this guy is off. He’s a loose cannon.”

“Yeah?”

“He was supposed to take over for Steven Meyer when he died but somehow, and I’m still not 100% sure how it happened, but Eddie Lane took over instead. Cal had left for a while, was doing some sort of personal consulting but using the same principals as Meyerism. He was served with C/D order and rejoined the movement up here.”

“That helps.”

“When Eddie decided to branch out, he gave Cal the center in Manhattan. Some have said it’s because Eddie won’t kick him out but he doesn’t agree with his methods.”

“Then why let him…”

“I have yet to figure that out. All I can guess is blackmail of some kind.”

“Well, thanks for your help, Jackson.”

“Have you eaten, Lieutenant?”

“I should be getting back.”

“And eating shitty gas station food on your way? Let me buy you a decent meal before you leave. It’s the least I could do for the way I treated you in college.”

“Sure.”  
____________________________________________________  
They went to a local sushi bar and just talked about their careers, marriages, and kids. He was divorced with two, he wasn’t shocked that Izzy and Rafael had so many.

“You two were THE couple in college.”

“Pssh,” she chuckled.

“I’m serious. You guys had what everyone else has probably spent their lives searching for. You guys still have that?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “We do.”

“That’s good. My ex…she accused me of putting my work in front of her, maybe I did.”

“What about your kids?”

“I’ve never missed a soccer game or piano recital. My wife though…whatever I did wrong, I never cheated on her.”

“She did you, though, huh?”

“You know the story. Husband gets too involved with work, wife feels neglected. Instead of talking about it, she finds someone that will fulfill whatever she’s missing.”

“So, it’s just women?”

“No. It happens the other way around,” he laughed as he put a piece of yellowtail in his mouth. “How have you and Rafael made it work all these years? I mean you both have high profile jobs that keep you out into the wee hours of the night, you have 6 kids. How do you do it?”

“Work. I mean, it’s not a job but it’s work. I think it has to with the fact that he’s worth it and he feels the same about me.”

“Good for you. For both of you. You sure you don’t want some sake?”

“I gotta drive home to Manhattan and I’m a cop. In fact, I need to get on the road as it is.”

“Right. Well, it really was good catching up with you. No, I got it,” he said as he waved her hand off as she tried to pay.

“You’ll email me…”

“Anything from my research that I think could help your case.”

“Thanks, Jackson.”

“My pleasure, Lieutenant.”

She called Liv to tell her to start checking into Cal Roberts and asked if there had been prints on their vic yet. Turned out her name was Jeri Watkins. She had recently tried to leave the Meyerist movement; which had been her fourth or fifth "new religion" in the last 3 years. She was obviously seeking help for something but wasn't finding it.


	154. Chapter 154

“Okay, so Warner says this was definitely not an accident.”

“Tell me she found DNA,” Liv said to Nick when he relayed the news.

“Under her fingernails, which suggests Jeri fought for her life as she was being strangled.”

“Okay, has anyone found what, if any role she might’ve had in this…movement?”

“Under her assumed name, she actually had worked herself up to being the PR rep’s assistant, handling PR for the Manhattan center,” Rollins answered.

“Has anyone located this Cal Roberts?”

“He’s gone underground from what we can tell. I’ve tried to get ahold of the actual PR rep, Vera Stephans, but she’s not returning my calls,” Izzy told her.

“Hi, I’m looking for Detect-I mean Lieutenant Barba,” Izzy heard a man’s voice say to the desk sergeant who pointed in her direction.

“Jackson?”

“Hey, I don’t mean to bother you but I received this package the other day. I thought it could help you.”

“You drove four hours to bring me this?”

“I spent months researching this ‘religion’. I thought my help might be needed. I brought my research as well.”

“Uh, sure. Captain Olivia Benson, Sergeant Nick Amaro, this is Dr. Jackson Neill. We went to Harvard together. Nick why don’t you take Jackson in a conference room and help him start going through these papers?”

“No problem, Lieutenant. Right this way, Dr. Neill.”

Olivia and Izzy soon followed behind.

“Did you see that?” Carisi asked his wife.

“See what?”

“He bares a pretty striking resemblance to Barba.”

“A little older, a little grayer, obviously doesn’t shave every day but yeah a little I suppose. That’s the guy that dumped Izz her Freshmen year at Harvard because she wouldn’t put out.”

“No way.”

“Yeah. They went on a few dates and he took her back to his dorm, they messed around, but she wouldn’t go any further and she stopped calling her.”

“And I thought Barba was a prick,” Carisi chuckled. “Looks like it worked out for the best though.”  
_______________________________________________  
“You have no idea who sent this to you?” Liv asked the Professor of Religion as they went through papers upon papers.”

“I actually have an idea but I’m not 100% sure.”

“You thinking Sarah Lane?” Izzy inquired.

“It’s possible. I mean this stuff, implicating Cal and Eddie in the murder of a former member. Who else would know that?”

“What did Sarah say when you guys were involved?”

“She was starting to find out things that weren’t true as you normally do once you start to actually looking into a religion,” he started, earning eye-rolls from both Nick and Izzy. “Like for instance, everyone thinks this was started by one man; Dr. Steven Meyer. However, as you see on this page, it’s a different handwriting, and a woman named Lilith is mentioned.”

“Is there any way you could get her to talk to us?”

“If she did send this to me, she did it anonymously, Captain. She doesn’t want me to contact her.”

“But she wants this information out there,” Nick added. 

“True. So, Izzy and Nick, gas up one of the SUV’s and take a trip upstate. I will continue to work with the professor on the rest of this.”

“Just one problem, we need her address.”

Jackson wrote it down and handed the paper to Nick.  
______________________________________________  
“Is this it?” Nick asked as they pulled up to the white house with the red door.

“It’s the right address.”

“And you called the local precinct…”

“Nick, come on. You know me better than that. They're on stand-by if we need them. We're just going to have a friendly conversation.”

"You know how these 'doomsday cults' can be. We could be walking into a house stockpiled with AR's."

"Come on, Munch JR."

They got out and knocked on the door. They were greeted by a tall, slender woman with long brown hair. “Yes?”

“Sarah Lane?”

“That’s me.”

“I’m Sergeant Amaro, this is Lieutenant Barba. We’re from the NYPD.”

“NYPD? What would bring NYPD all the way up here?”

“We’d like to talk to you if at all possible.”

“Uh, sure, come on in.”

She offered them a seat as they looked around her living room.

“I’m guessing this is about the package I sent to Professor Neill?”

“So, you did send it?”

“I heard about what happened in Manhattan.”

“And you think your husband and Cal had something to do with it?”

“The only reason Cal is leading the Manhattan center is because a few years ago,” she started as tears filled her eyes, “Eddie got into an altercation with a former member. He had come back, under the guise of wanting to recommit himself to the movement, but he vandalized the center. Eddie caught him, a fight ensued, when Eddie pushed him he hit his head on a nail in a board…”

“Killing him and Cal knew about it.”

“Yes, Sergeant. It was an accident.”

“So, Cal helps him get rid of the body and instead of going to the police, he’s held this over Eddie since?” Izzy asked.

“Yeah. Eddie has been trying to get Cal out for years.”

“And how do you know all this?”

She got up and came back with a ledger where every single thing that had happened. 

“Cal’s now ex-wife, Mary, gave it to me before she fled the country.”

“So, she’s gone…”

“She had to get away from Cal because she didn’t want him influencing their son. His ‘power’ over the Manhattan center is seemingly getting dangerous.”

“Any way we can get in touch with her?”

She handed Izzy a piece of paper with Mary’s phone number. “I’m not sure if she will be willing to help but it’s possible.”

“When you say Cal’s ‘power’ is getting dangerous, what exactly do you mean?” Nick wondered.

“There’s been rumors that he has been getting violent when people disobey orders or don’t meet their recruitment goals…”

“There’s been rumors about your husband as well,” Izzy told her.

“Eddie and I are separated but he’s never been like that. He’s defended himself and other members that were being attacked but those rumors are simply that…rumors.”

“Did you know Lisa at all?”

“I only met her a few times. She was sweet, obviously lacking something and she came to Meyerism looking for whatever it was.”

“You had no idea Lisa McPherson wasn’t her real name?”

“It’s not like we ask for birth certificates and passports when people want to join.”

“No, just money and their lives in a million year contract,” Nick scoffed.

“Sergeant,” Izzy shook her head.

“Some people join, trying to get away from people, abused wives, drug addicts. We don't make sign anything until they've read it thoroughly. They come to us for protection in a way," she told them as she looked at her watch. "I hate to cut this short, I know you drove a long way, but I’m needed at the center.”

“Just one last question, Ms. Lane?”

“Yes, Lieutenant?”

“If you’re so into your religion, why did you send all of that material to Dr. Neill?”

Sarah just looked at them, speechless.

“We’ll see ourselves out,” Nick told her as they left. “I think the professor was right.”

“What do you mean, Nick?”

“She’s found out things that were untrue, she sent him that stuff knowing he would get it to the right people. Take Cal down first, then we’d go after Eddie, effectively causing this ‘religion’ to crumble from the inside out.”

“I don’t know. There’s still Branch Davidian’s out there. Maybe…maybe she’s not as clueless as she seems.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she wants to take down Cal and Eddie obviously. Maybe she’s wanting to take over as the leader.”

“Didn’t think about that.”  
_________________________________________________  
“Hey, Izz.”

“Yeah, Carisi?”

“There’s a woman named Mary here to see you.”

“Really? She actually came from Vancouver?”

“Can she help with this case?”

“I’m gonna find out.”

“She’s in interrogation one.”

“Thanks.”

Izzy sat her coffee and purse on her desk and went to the interrogation room.

She introduced herself to the blond that was sitting there nervously. They talked for a little bit. Mary described in detail how Cal would beat members and even had video. 

One such video was of Lisa/Jeri. He was berating her for not getting more coverage for the opening of the center, not devoting herself like she should have been to their message. He even threatened to kill her if the numbers didn’t start to rise because he had to prove he was a better leader than Eddie.

“I’d call that motive,” the DA said when he joined his wife. “Do you have any idea where we would find him now?”

Mary sat for a minute. “New Paltz.”

“New Paltz? Why there?”

“His mother. Most people have been led to believe their estranged but their not. She e-mailed me last week, begging me to come back to Cal and the movement.”

“Is she a member?”

“No, she just believes in her son that much.”  
________________________________________  
Carisi and Amanda made the trip and brought Cal in.

At first he claimed what happened was an accident, which forensic evidence proved otherwise. Then as suspected, he started telling about the member that Eddie had killed. The police were way ahead of him as they used the ledger to find where the body had been buried and dug it up.

The member was identified as a missing person Jason Kemp. His parents had been searching for him for years. The wound on the back of his skull however wasn’t accidental from what Melinda could tell.

The dents in the skull showed that he had been beaten a few times with a blunt force object which would have killed him before he landed on the nail.

Eddie Lane was soon arrested upstate for the murder of Jason Kemp while Cal was booked for Jeri’s murder. 

Rafael actually took the case himself and offered Cal a generous offer in exchange for his testimony against Eddie. 25 to life, with the possibility of parole after 20 years served.

“You can at least enjoy the sunlight during your last years.”

He spoke with his lawyer and accepted the deal. With all the bad press, the Manhattan center was closed by the FBI as they took over with their own investigation since Meyerism had been on their “cult watchlist” for a few years.

Erin was actually spearheading the operation on their end. Her sister in law gladly handed over everything Jackson had given them and everything else they had found in the process. Izzy was just glad to be done with it.


	155. Chapter 155

“You two did what?” Rafael asked his second oldest daughter as she sat in the living room with Chris.

“We went to Niagara Falls and got married,” she answered.

“What ever possessed you two to do something so…you’re in your first year of medical school, Chris is in his first year of law school. Do you have any idea what it takes…”

“You and Mom got married when you were still in law school.”

“I had two months left when we got married and she had already been on the force for almost two years at that point. So, don’t go there.”

“Okay, Rafa, let’s just calm down for a minute.”

“Are you serious, Elizabeth?”

“Getting upset and acting like this isn’t going to help matters.”

“The hell it won’t! You two will march yourselves to the courthouse Monday morning…”

“Rafael, let me talk to you in the kitchen. NOW!” His wife instructed. 

He slammed the door open as Izzy followed him.

“You were not seriously going to tell our almost 23-year-old daughter and her now husband…”

“Husband,” he scoffed as he rolled his eyes.

“You were not just going to tell them to get an annulment.”

“They can do that or file for divorce.”

“Rafael stop.”

“No! I can’t believe you’re not more upset!”

“Am I happy about this? Not at all but they’re both adults.”

“Barely. Did you have an idea that they were even talking about getting married?”

“She had mentioned it once, like a year ago. I mean there was no engagement or anything. She said they had just discussed it.”

“She still has two years of medical school, plus her residency. What if she gets pregnant like we did?”

“Okay, you were promised a job upon passing the bar, I already had one, we were 25, we had talked about starting a family after you got out of law school…”

“They are not us.”

“You’re right. They’re not,” Izzy agreed. “Instead of asking what they’re plans are, you just went to ‘what were you thinking’?”

“You know, I would’ve expected this from Cami. Yet, she’s the one married to her career. Going to grad school to get her master’s even.”

“We need to talk to them rationally…”

“I…I need to get out of here.”

“Where are you going?”

“Just out for a little bit. I need some fresh air.”

With that, he walked out of the kitchen and she soon heard the front door slam.  
_______________________________________________  
“He’s pretty upset, huh?” Rory asked her mom as she came in the kitchen.

“A little bit. Seriously though, why did you guys…”

“We’ve been talking about it for a little bit and you know I’m not the big wedding kind of girl.”

“But you couldn’t have waited until after medical school?”

“I’m not gonna get pregnant, Mom. We said maybe when we’re 28 or 29. Not anytime soon.”

“Okay.”

“I guess Rafael hates me now,” Chris shrugged as he joined them.

“He doesn’t hate you, Chris. He’s upset. I’m sure he’ll be calm when he comes home.”

“Where did he go?”

“If I know your dad like I think I do, there’s one person he would talk to right now.”

“Pop-pop,” Rory laughed.

“Exactly. Chris, my dad was even more upset when we got married during Rafael’s last spring break when he was in law school.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah. He told your father in law he wasn’t allowed in his house anymore and my dad had basically taken care of him after we got together. It was rough until I got pregnant with Cami. Then all was right with the world again.”

“Rory did tell you that we have no plans to have kids yet?”

“She did. Stick to it. You guys still have a lot of work ahead of you with school, internships, her residency, and you’re going to have to navigate all of that within your marriage. I’ve said it several times over the years and Rafael agrees with me: marriage isn’t a job but it’s work. When you add everything else into it, it becomes so much harder.”

“You and dad have been married 25 years.”

“We work everyday to keep our marriage intact. Some days are going to be so easy and you can’t imagine your life without the other. Then there’s going to be those days where you think, ‘if this motherfucker so much as breathes in my direction, I’m going to kill them’.”

Rory and Chris just laughed at what her mother said.

“No, I’m serious. I’ve never once thought about divorcing your dad but I have thought about killing him a time or two. I can hide a body.”

“Mom!!”

“Your father can be the most infuriating man on the planet some days. But then I think of all days when he’s not, how good he’s always been to me and you kids and I remember why I fell in love with him to begin with.”  
_______________________________________________________  
“Rafael what brings you to Brooklyn,” Anthony laughed when his son in law walked into that same house in Bensonhurst.

“Have you talked to your daughter?”

“Mmm, no, son, I haven’t.”

“Your granddaughter ran off to Niagara Falls and married her boyfriend last weekend.”

Anthony sort of chuckled to himself. “So, what’s wrong?”

“I could kill both of them, Anthony. I swear. Rory still has medical school, Chris still has law school…okay, why are you laughing?”

“I seem to remember getting similar news 25 years ago.”

“Dad, that was different. We had been engaged for almost two years. Izzy was on the force, we lived together Thursday nights-Monday mornings really. And the only reason we did it was because of the arguing. No one was listening to us. They just went up there, no engagement or anything, and got married on a whim, basically.”

“Why’s it so different? Rory did something she wanted to do because she loves Chris and you know how shy she is. She probably just didn’t want all that attention.”

“A heads-up would’ve been nice.”

Anthony handed his son-in-law a glass of scotch. “I mean I’m shocked, really, that Aurora would do something like that but she’s got a good head on her shoulders. You’ve always said that she was the female version of you. Which says to me, she thought this through before making any rash decisions.”

“Maybe,” Rafael answered quietly.

“You and I both know she did.”

“I just don’t want her getting pregnant.”

“Like you and my daughter did so soon?”

“I really didn’t think it would happen that quick,” he sort of laughed, “I don’t regret it at all but it just so happened fast for us. We were making a ¼ of what we make now.”

“But you two did it, then again and again and again. Look at everything you two have accomplished over the years together. I’m not just talking professionally. Look at your family. You have some of the brightest kids to grace this earth. Yeah, they’ve made their mistakes but still, you and my daughter did well. Look at Will for example. When you guys first got him, he had a lot of problems. Then after his birth mother kidnapped him, he made the decision to do away with anything having to do with her. You guys did that. He’s learned a lot and he’s exactly where he’s supposed to be, intellectually and personally.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Now, finish your drink, go home, calmly talk to your daughter and welcome your new son in law into your family. I’ve always regretted the way I treated you when you two came back from Puerto Rico. I’ve lived with that for 25 years now. I don’t have many regrets in my life but that’s one of them. You didn’t deserve that.”

“You apologized for that a long time ago…”

“I know but still. You deserved a hand shake and a hug. I mean I already considered you a part of my family but I should’ve done it the right way. You have the chance to do that now. Redeem me, my son.”

They both laughed as Rafael finished his drink.

“What? I thought that was a good Darth Vader impression.”

“But he never said that.”

“You sound like my daughter. Now go.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you.”

“Anytime, Rafael.”  
_____________________________________________  
“Aurora Danielle Barba, you and Chris in the kitchen,” he said as he walked in the house.

“It’s not Barba anymore, Dad.”

“Don’t poke the bear,” Chris whispered as they did what he said.

“Fine. Aurora Danielle Mitchell is that better?”

Rory knew better than to say anything.

“Did you guys think this through before…”

“Dad, I would’ve never done this if I hadn’t thought about it. There were reasons why we shouldn’t but the reasons why we should outweighed those.”

“Okay. I get it. Just don’t throw away your education, either of you.”

“We’re not, Dad, I promise. No babies until I finally have a job; so when I’m almost 30.”

“Good. You’ve both worked hard for your scholarships. I’d hate to see either of you lose them.”

“Dad it’s me. The rational child.”

“You don’t have to remind me,” he smiled. “Christopher.”

“Yes, sir,” the dark haired 23 year old asked as he swallowed hard.

“Welcome to the family,” Rafael told him as he extended his hand.

“Thank you, sir.”

“You take care of my baby girl. You hear me?”

“Of course. I won’t let either of you down.”

“Good. Now, where’s your mother?”

“Listening outside the door,” Izzy hollered from the other side.

“Come in, mi amor. Everything’s fine.”

“Oh, I heard,” she laughed as she walked in. “I can’t believe you’re married.”

“Mom,” Rory sort of groaned.

“What? Now that your dad has calmed down I can actually celebrate this.”

“I don’t want a party.”

“Oh, come on. A small reception at least.”

“You know she’s not going to stop, Aurora.”

“Fine, Mom. Very small.” 

“I have to call your Aunt Liv. She’s my party planning partner.”

“Hello?” Rafael said as he answered his phone. “Yes, this is Rafael Barba. When did this happen? Okay. My wife and I will be down there as soon as we can.”

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s Junior," he told his wife after he took a deep breath.


	156. Chapter 156

“He took a hard hit in practice,” Penn State’s football coach told them as they sat in the hospital waiting room while their oldest son was in surgery. “From what the MRI showed, he tore nearly every ligament in his left knee.”

“Jesus. So, what does that mean?” Izzy asked.

“It means, Mrs. Barba, he will more than likely not play again.”

Rafael just sort of hung his head, knowing that was going to break his son’s heart.

“I am so sorry. He showed so much potential and promise. Unfortunately, I’ve seen this happen too many times in my career.”

“We’ve worried about this, too,” Rafael told him.

The surgeon came out and told them RJ was out of recovery and they could go see him.

He was till half drugged when they walked in his room.

“Hey,” Izzy said quietly.

“Mom?” He said with tears in his eyes.

“It’s okay, baby,” she told him as she sat on the right side of his bed and hugged him. He hadn’t cried on her shoulder like that since he was a small kid. Rafael stood behind him and sort of patted and rubbed his back.

“I’m so sorry.”

“For what? This stuff happens.”

“I know,” he sniffled. “But I had all these plans if I had been lucky enough to be drafted. I was going to pay off your house, Cami’s student loans, but Will a car when he turned 16.”

Izzy sort of laughed, “While that would’ve been very generous, we’re just happy you’re okay.”

He nodded as he lifted his head. “This really sucks,” he laughed through his tears.

“Your professors told the coach that you can come home to recuperate for a little bit and they’ll email your assignments to you. Then you’ll come back here to start your physical therapy.”

“Thanks, Dad. I won’t be too much trouble.”

“I already talked to your Aunt Liv and I’m gonna take some time off.”

“Will you make that soup I like?”

“As soon as we get home,” Izzy smiled as she pushed her sons hair off his forehead.

“What am I gonna do if I can’t play football?”

“You can take up golf,” Rafael joked.

“Hey, I can ride around in one of those little carts. Maybe I won’t play golf, just ride around in a golf cart.”

“Hush,” his mother playfully scolded.

“I think I’m still a little high.”

“Yeah, they have you on what Uncle Fin calls ‘Happy Mud’. I was on it after I got shot. I felt pretty good,” Izzy admitted.

“Why don’t you get some rest? Your mom and I will call your sisters while we go check into our hotel. We need some rest ourselves.”

“Okay.”

“We’ll see you in a couple of hours.”  
___________________________________________  
“How’s RJ doing?”

“Not too bad, Liv,” Izzy told her on “girl’s night”. RJ had been home for about two weeks, his mother waiting on him hand and foot almost and Rafael insisted she go out with her friends one evening. “He’s not whiny so that’s a good thing.”

“Rollins you’ve been awfully quiet tonight,” Melinda mused. “What’s going on with you?”

“Have any of you…you ever sometimes get…I’ve been faking my orgasms lately. There I said it.”

“Who hasn’t?” Izzy asked.

“Seriously? I thought Barba was…”

“Oh, he’s great, don’t get me wrong but he’s 50! I thought when we started getting older, we’d slow down, maybe he’d get a little quicker even. Not first time quick, but at least shaving 15 minutes or so off his time. No! There’s some nights, it’s like will you hurry up?”

“Amen to that,” Liv agreed. “The other night, Cassidy was like the energizer bunny. Just kept going and going and going.”

“What if…I’ve heard stories of women losing their orgasm forever.”

“That’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Amanda told Izzy.

“Have you never watched ‘Sex and the City’?” Erin laughed. “She played that joke on me one time, too.”

“Sex can still be great without an orgasm, though,” Alice added. 

“She’s right. I mean is everything okay with you and Carisi?” Melinda asked.

“Yeah, of course. Maybe it’s just the stress of 3 kids. Jesse is in that ‘tween’ stage and becoming a nightmare.”

“When do you think I faked most of my orgasms? When the girls started puberty. We had two going through it at the same time,” Izzy told her.

“Does Barba know you’ve faked it?”

“He figured it out quick.”

“We’ve all done it. Sometimes, I’m just ready to go to sleep, Fin thinks I’m there and then he’s there. The end.”

They all started laughing at Melinda’s comment.

“Don’t worry so much, Rollins. You’ll get your groove back,” Erin told her.

“Thanks, guys. I just thought there was something wrong with me.”

“Well there is but…”

“Shut up, Izzy.”

“Why didn’t Cynthia come out tonight?”

“She’s still sick from what Amaro told me. I think they just want to walk around the house naked since Zara went to Rochester with her Sorority. I can’t wait until we can do that. I mean shit gets broke, I’ll know who did it once Will goes to college,” Izzy joked.

“How’s he doing?”

“Really good, Liv. He’s got his first crush on this girl in his class. She’s so cute, too. They sit together at lunch, play together at recess. Of course, his dad is very proud. You know, taking after him,” Izzy laughed as she rolled her eyes. “He was such ladies’ man and everything.”

“I bet.”

“You know, there’s some days I look at my husband and think he’s the smartest man in the world and then there’s days when I look at him and wonder how the hell he tied his shoes that morning.”

“Mike is the same way.”

“Yeah but you guys couldn’t live without either of them,” Melinda told them.

“Oh, I could. I just don’t want to,” Izzy smiled.

“I can’t wait to see the two of you when you get older,” Amanda laughed. 

“Your grandchildren are going to be so spoiled,” Liv added.

“Oh, god. Don’t remind me,” Izzy said as she rubbed her temples.   
__________________________________________  
“Matteo Vincent Barba!!”

“Yeah, Dad?” He asked as he came down stairs.

“Living room now!”

Matty went and saw his dad standing with his arms crossed.

“What did I do?”

“Sit down.”

Rafael then threw a bag with about 5 joints in it on the coffee table. “Your mother was cleaning your room and found these. Care to explain?”

“It’s pot,” he shrugged.

“Uh-huh and how did you get it?”

“A friend of mines brother went into that shop on Houston and bought it for us. What’s the big deal? It’s legal.”

“Not for you. You’re 16. You have 5 years before it’s legal for you.”

“Like you and Mom didn’t drink before you turned 21.”

“We are not talking about me and your mother.”

“You used to smoke pot in law school.”

“Once in a while, when I was stressed and again, we’re not talking about me.”

“Look, Dad, I am a 16 year old junior in high school. I’m supposed to be a Sophomore if you’ll remember. Sometimes, I get stressed out about picking a college and things like that and I can’t sleep. It’s safer than me taking a whole bunch pharmaceuticals like Xanax or something.”

“Have you been smoking this in my house?”

“I go out back.”

“Okay, look, I’ll make a deal with you. You’re right that it is safer than benzos to control anxiety and help you relax. I’ve always said that if you kids wanted to try alcohol, I would’ve rather you do it here. Pot never crossed my mind so, you want to smoke it, you do it in the backyard. Keep it put up so your little brother doesn’t find it.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I mean it. Don’t be out smoking with your friends. You get caught with it, because of your age like I said it’s illegal for you to have. It would put a minor in possession charge on you and if that was to happen, your mother won’t save you. Neither will I. You will take whatever punishment you’ve given; even if that’s picking up trash in Central Park on the weekends.”

“I got it, Dad.”

“I’m serious. You have to think about your college applications, possible scholarships.”

“I know. So, I’m not grounded or anything?”

“We made a deal, right?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You know your room wasn’t that messy. Why was your mother cleaning it anyways?”

“I think she suspected something when I finished off that pan of lasagna last night.”

“There was more than half left!”

“Not anymore,” Matty sort of chuckled through his teeth.

“Jesus. You want to up with gut like mine?”

“Mom likes it."

"Knock it off." 

"Besides, would you rather I drink your scotch instead? I mean, you do have good taste while we’re on the subject.”

“Stay out of my liquor cabinet, Matteo.”

“Just making my point.”

“Go to your room.”

Matty went to reach for the plastic bag, only for Rafael to swoop it up before he could.

“Dad?”

“I’m gonna keep a hold of this for a little while. You can have this one,” he said as he reached in and handed a half of a joint out of the bag.

“But you said…”

“I’ll put this up and when you need to relax, come tell me, and I’ll give it to you. I have to make sure it stays where Will can’t get to it.”

“I have a box that I kept it in.”

“Is that where your mother found it?”

“There’s a very high probability but in my defense, she’s a trained detective.”

“Like I said…”

“Okay fine,” he groaned.

“Go back to your room until dinner.”

Izzy came out of the kitchen after getting dinner ready and in the oven. “Well?”

“One son can’t keep his dick in his pants, one’s a pot head, I can’t wait to see what the last one will give us,” he said as he flipped the bag over and over in his hand while he sat on the couch.”

“He’ll probably be our best one.”

“You’re probably right.” He told his wife the deal he had made with Matty, which she agreed to as well. “You know after the boys go to bed, we could always take a trip back to college.”

“Aren’t we too old for that now?” She laughed.

“Who said? Besides, it’s legal now. What do you think?”

“After the boys go to bed, I’ll meet you outside.”


	157. Chapter 157

“I’m telling you, this stuff you can get legally is a lot better than what I got in law school,” Rafael told the guys as it was guys night. “That had to have been the best nights sleep Izzy and I had in months.”

“After sex, right?”

“Amaro we were too relaxed to even think about having sex after we smoked that. We finished off the leftover Chinese food and that was it.”

“What kind was it?”

“I’d have to look at the bag. You can buy it pre-rolled now.”

“Well, that’s good cause neither you or my sister could roll worth a shit back in the day,” Tony laughed.

“Carisi what’s wrong with you?” Mike asked after taking a drink of his beer.

“Huh? Nothing.”

“Liar. Any other time you’d have a million questions, choir boy. What’s going on?” Rafael snarked.

“Okay, so lately, when Amanda and I have been…intimate lately…she seems like…I don’t know. Her…sounds are a lot more embellished.”

“So, she’s faking?”

“Thanks for that, Barba.”

“Well is he right?”

“Unfortunately, Tony.”

Mike, Nick, Fin, Brian, Tony, and Rafael all just kind of looked at each other, making Carisi nervous.

“A little help guys?”

“What do you want us to tell you? My wife has faked it on several occasions.”

“I thought you were the master,” Carisi mocked Barba.

“Masturbater maybe,” Nick joked.

“Hey! I’ve been with same woman for how long? She is very satisfied, I assure you. But yes, I have my off days, or rather she does. It happens.”

“What do you do?”

“I used to worry about it. It made me really insecure but I just talked to her about it. Women aren’t always gonna get there, no matter what we do. I take that back, I can always get one or two out of her orally.”

“You are such a liar.”

“Ask her. That was the first way I ever gave her an orgasm, Carisi.”

“Then she gets an orgasm every time you have sex.”

“I don’t always…have a snack before sex. Sometimes, it’s just, let’s get this done so we can get some sleep. Grab the lube out of the nightstand, I do my best. Sometimes, I get her there, sometimes I don’t. After 31 years, I’m just happy not to have a heart attack during sex.”

“I’m older than you, Barba, and Melinda has no complaints.”

“She still fakes it,” Mike muttered.

“What?!”

“She told it during girls night a couple of weeks ago.”

“How do you know this?” Nick asked.

“Alice told me they all admitted to it.”

“Fin come on. You can’t be that surprised,” Cassidy laughed. “I know when Liv’s had enough. I’ve faked my own sometimes.”

“How could you possibly get away with that?” Carisi asked.

“Make the noises, the faces, roll off as soon as you can, and go to sleep with blue balls,” Rafael answered.

“But…why?”

“A few nights ago, Izzy and I had been going at it for, hell, 45 minutes at least. We had changed positions I don’t know how many times but I was not getting there and I knew she was tired. So, I did what I had to. I was in some pain afterwards and I once had a 100lb Great Dane step on my balls.”

“See? Barba gets it,” Cassidy added. “Carisi it’s perfectly normal for a woman or even us guys to go through a slump.”

“Mix it up. Get one of those vibrating cock rings or something.”

They all looked at Mike, shocked at his suggestion.

“Oh, like Alice and I are the only ones that have used to sex toys.”

“I will say, Izzy and I did wear out one of her vibrators one time. I’m talking within 6 months of her getting it”

“I am gonna need shock therapy after this,” Tony said as he covered his face.

“See? Maybe you just need to change things up a little,” Nick suggested.

“Kids take a lot out of you.”

“Fin you had one kid and you were married for two years.”

“Okay…my grandkids take a lot out of me. Better? Little bastard has to remind me that I’m older,” he sort of muttered at Carisi’s remark.

“Fin’s right though. We had Cami and Rory going through or starting puberty, Matty was a baby. Our sex life wasn’t near what it had been. You’ll get through it, though.”

“Think so, Barba?”

“Definitely. Get out of your head. You’ll be fine.”

“As much as I have hated this conversation, my brother in law is right,” Tony laughed. “You gotta mix it up and surprise her with something new.”  
_____________________________________________________________  
“Daddy?”

“Yes, mijo?” He asked Will when he saw him standing in his office.

“Are you busy?”

“Nunca. Venir aquí (come in here).”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course. You can ask me anything,” he told him as he put him in his lap.

“Would you be mad if I wanted to go visit my sister?”

“You mean Keisha?”

“Yeah. I know she’s in the cemetery. I’d just like to go see her.”

“You know what? Keisha is actually in the same place as my Abuelita. I need to go put out some new flowers for her. Would you like to take Keisha some flowers?”

“Could we?”

“Of course, mijo. How about Saturday, as long as Mommy doesn’t get called into work, the three of us will go and then go visit tu Abuelita and Papa Dodds after?”

“I’d like that.”

“You got it.”

“Thank you,” he told his dad before hugging him, running past Izzy who was coming in with a “Hi, Mom. Bye, Mom!” in the same breath.

“What was that about?”

“He wants to go ‘visit’ Keisha Saturday.”

“She’s in the same cemetery as Abuelita, right?”

“Yeah. I need to go check her flowers anyways.”

“Did Keisha ever get a headstone?”

“I don’t think so, mi amor.”

“Maybe we should look into getting one for her.”

“Really?”

“Why not?” Izzy shrugged. “She deserves one as much as anyone else.”

“Okay. You know, Eddie’s brother works for one of the monument companies in the Bronx. We might could have it out there by Saturday. Of course, we’d probably have to pay extra.”

“I’d be fine with that.”

“I’ll make a call,” he smiled as he sat up a little bit to kiss his wife.

“Maybe something with flowers and a teddy bear. Will said once those were her favorite things.”

“Sure.”  
\----------------------------------------  
Saturday came and Eddie’s brother Jorge had assured them that Keisha’s headstone would be ready and mounted by noon that day. He had sent a picture of the finished stone to them and they were both happy with it, as was Will.

They stopped at a florist. Will picked out some rainbow roses and Rafael grabbed some Calla Lilies for Lina’s headstone.

Izzy asked Will if he wanted to go Keisha’s first but he seemed a little nervous so they went to Rafael’s grandparents first. He split the lilies between the vases on both sides of the headstone.

“I know I’ve said it several time over the years, but Abuelito would’ve loved you,” Rafael said as he squeezed his wife’s hand.

They stood for a little while as Rafael “introduced” Will to his great-grandparents.

“Would they have liked me, Daddy?”

“They would’ve loved you, mijo,” he smiled as he bent down. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

They both took his hands and walked to Keisha’s gravesite.

Will put the flowers in the vase on hers and sat on the bench they had mounted as well. Rafael and Izzy just stood behind him.

“I miss you, Sissy,” he started. “I wish you were still here but I’m okay. I got the best parents in the world now. I have so many brothers and sisters. If you were still here, you’d probably have them, too. They would’ve taken us away from…Manuela. It’s all her fault you’re not here anymore. I will never forgive her. I wish I could’ve done more.”

Rafael placed his hand on his sons shoulder.

“Just know that I’m taken care of now. I will never forget you.”

He stood up and wiped his eyes and hugged both of his parents.

“You did good, mijo,” Rafael told him as he placed a kiss to his temple. “We can come here anytime you want. Okay?”

“Okay,” he nodded. “Thank you for giving her the headstone.”

“Of course.”

“If she would’ve been okay, would you have taken both of us?”

“Probably so,” Rafael told him with tears in his eyes. “One way or another, we would’ve made sure you two wouldn’t have been broken apart.”

“Okay. I just didn’t want to lie to her.”

“I understand.”

“Thank you.”

“Mijo we already told you…”

“No, Mommy. For taking me.”

“I don’t know if you remember but I was the one you would talk to when we found you that night.”

“I do actually. I told you my old name and how old I was.”

“Yes, you did.”

“And you always checked on me until I moved into your house.”

“That’s right, baby. I can’t believe you remember that.”

“Sure, I do. I hoped you were gonna be my mommy and you were gonna be my daddy,” he said as he turned to Rafael. “I guess prayers do get answered.”


	158. Chapter 158

“Does this record player still work?” Liv asked as they sat around Rafael and Izzy’s basement along with Cassidy, Carisi, Amanda, Nick, Cynthia, Mike, Alice, Fin, Melinda, Tony, and Erin.

“It sure does,” Izzy told her.

“Look at all these albums. I mean if we’re really going to act like kids, we might as well turn some music.”

“How many did you buy, Amanda?”

“14. One for each of us. It’s called Power Flower. One of the strongest strains of Sativa there is.”

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Mike laughed as he took the joint Amanda handed him.

“I found the perfect music for this occasion,” Liv laughed as she found an old Foghat album and put it on the turntable. “Slow Ride” started playing and they started laughing.

“We’re not even stoned yet,” Brian laughed.

“We will be by the time this song’s over,” Fin added.

"Come on, let's pretend we're in college and spark it up," Erin laughed as she grabbed hers from Amanda.

"You guys should have seen the first time Erin and Izzy got stoned," Tony started. "One minute, we're going to the vending machines to get 100 different snacks, which they made a mess all over our dorm and then themselves. We had to basically sweep chip crumbs off them and put them in our beds."

"I remember that! Tony and I couldn't get any sleep because these two were snoring so loud and at that point, Izzy only let the tiniest snores. I was like, 'am I sleeping next to a moose'?"

"Leave us alone," Erin told them. "We tried to get you two join in."

"Somebody had to take care of the two of you. Just like the first time Izzy got actually drunk. So drunk in fact, she puked in her hair, on her shoes, my shoes..."

"That's enough, Rafa."

"I had to take her into one of the shower rooms and wash her out in the sink and practically carry her back to her room."

"What about your shoes?"

"My brand new Adidas? I washed them off in one of the showers."

"Okay. Enough of that. Amanda was kind enough to spend her hard earned NYPD money on this pot, we got rid of our younger kids so we could do something different."

"Okay, but if this turns into an orgy, I'm not touching Carisi," Cassidy laughed.

"We're smoking pot, not doing X," Alice chuckled.

"And technically, Izz, I spent Carisi's money on this," Amanda added.  
_________________________________________________  
“Amanda I thought you said this was high grade?” Nick asked with his eyes so narrow, they were almost closed.

Rafael looked over at him and was trying to stifle his laughter.

“What’s so funiony?”

“What did you say?” Mike asked as Rafael just finally lost it.

“I said what’s so funinoniony?”

“Nick baby maybe you should shhhh,” Cynthia told him.

“But what’s Barba laughing at?”

“You’re stoned, Nick!!” Fin told him.

“What the hell?” Matty asked as he came down into the basement.

“Hey! It’s our 1, 2, 3, 4, 5th!! 5th child!”

“Glad you can still count, Dad. Half the NYPD is in our basement smoking pot and I have to take it outside?”

“It’s legal for us,” Tony said.

“And this isn’t half of the NYPD. We’re like…1/500th or something,” Liv answered.

“You are terrible at math, Captain.”

“Then tell us what we are, Fordham.”

Carisi sat there and it was obvious he was trying to think. “I give up.”

“Hey, son, do us a favor. Go upstairs and order us what, 7 pizzas.”

“You’ve got to be kidding, Dad. You guys aren’t going to eat that much.”

“You’ve never seen your mother or your Aunt Erin stoned.”

“Rafa!”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“Oh my god, did you guys get Sativa?”

“So?”

“Look at my son, the marijuana guru,” Rafael said as he started laughing.

“Who got it?”

“Your Aunt Amanda," his mother told him.

“Aunt Amanda, next time you need to get something a little less potent. You guys are gonna be stoned for a while.”

“Thank you, Cheech Barba now go order the pizzas. You might as well eat, too. Wouldn’t want you to starve or anything.”

“Gee, thanks, Dad. Glad to know I’m important,” he said as he walked back upstairs. 

“I love that boy,” Rafael said with the dopiest smile. “Remember the night we made him?”

“Shh,” Izzy scolded.

“We went out to dinner, went dancing, came home, took a bath, got out and got dirty all over again.”

“I said shh.”

“Hey, call Matty back down here and see if you can sex on this. Matty!!!”

“He’s still a virgin, Mike.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Seriously, Liv. He’s like his old man. He’s waiting for the right girl. Unlike his brother. That boy has already had two girls have pregnancy scares on him.”

“You didn’t tell me that,” Izzy told her husband as she slapped his arm.

“Cause I wanted to avoid that look, mi amor.”

“You better have set his ass straight.”

“I did.”

“I bet you did,” she muttered.  
_______________________________________________

“I guess that answered Mike’s question,” Rafael laughed after he and Izzy had sex once they had came down from their high for the most part and everyone had left. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“You ever think about…retiring?”

“Sometimes. You?”

“I’ve been debating it. Maybe not in the next year but I’m thinking by the time we’re 60.”

“That’s 9 years from now. Will would be getting almost finished with school and going off to college. We’d be alone…finally,” he said as he started kissing her neck.

“You ready for round two, Counselor?”

“What do you think?”

“Are you guys done in there?”

“Every time,” he whined. “What is it, Matty?”

“I kinda need you guys to put some clothes on…”

“Why did we have 6 kids?”

“Because we didn’t want 7?” Izzy remarked, earning a glare from her husband as he put his pajamas back on and threw hers to her.

They got dressed and Rafael opened the door, standing in the doorway. “What do you need?”

“Can I go stay at Jack’s tonight?”

“It’s 11:00.”

“And? He just got the new Call of Duty. Come on, Dad. He just lives two houses down.”

“I suppose,” he groaned.

“Okay, thanks. And can I just say something?” He asked as he looked at his dad’s hair.

“What is it?”

“You are so lazy. Can’t you get on top for once?”

He slammed the door in his son’s face before telling him he was grounded and not going anywhere after all.

“I was just kidding!” He said from the other side of the door.

“Just let him go, Rafa. Will’s at your mom and Bill’s. We’d be all alone and you can get on top this time.”

“Still outside here, guys.”

“Just go!!”

“Thanks! See you tomorrow!”

“One of these kids will not be happy until I’m dead.”

“I have no idea where any of them get the mouths they have,” his wife replied with a hint of snark.

“Well, why don’t you put that snarky mouth of yours to use?”

“Oh really? What about me?”

“I’ll return the favor. You don’t have to make me come. I mean I’ll make you, I can’t help that.”

“You are awfully cocky.”

“You’ve always told me I had good reason to be.”

“That you do, guapo. That you most certainly do. You know I think I need a shower.”

“How about I stand under the shower while you wrap these…beautiful…pink…lips…around…my cock?” He said between kisses around her mouth. “The way the water falls around me onto you while you’re on your knees might be too much for me, though.”

“You’ll just have to take care of me later.”


	159. Chapter 159

{2034}

“Well, here I am, Dad,” Will smiled as Rafael helped him tie his tie as he got ready for his high school graduation. 

“And your mother and I couldn’t be more proud of you. You have achieved so much, mijo.”

“Even with the cards stacked against me at such a young age.”

“You never let it affect you, though.”

“God, if Mama hadn’t found me that night…who knows where I’d be.”

“I still remember that night. She and your Uncle Fin had been to some charity event when they got the call. She called me on their way and when she finally got home, she just broke down in tears. We had already been approved to be foster parents at that point and they wanted to place a baby with us but the case worker noticed how you took to your mother and they asked if we’d take you in instead.”

“I’m so glad and thankful that you did, Dad.”

“Hey, there he is!! Little brother is finally getting out of the house!” RJ laughed when he came in the room and hugged Will.

“Not so fast, Coach. I’m going to NYU. Mom and Dad aren’t getting rid of me just yet.”

“They couldn’t wait to get rid of me.”

“You ever wonder why that was, Junior?”

“Funny, Dad. Dad in all seriousness, I need to talk to you.”

“Ugh, I’ve dreaded those words since you were 15. What is it?”

“Was Mom a basket case when she was pregnant? Zara is driving me nuts.”

“This is your second kid and you’re complaining now?”

“She wasn’t like this when she was pregnant with Rosie. She was normal.”

“Your mother was never normal during her any of her pregnancies.”

“Where is she, anyways?”

“She was going to pick up your grandmother.”

“It’s been hard on her since Pop-Pop passed last year.”

“It’s been hard on us all but especially Nonna,” Rafael agreed with his oldest son. 

“Daddy!!”

“Right here, Rosie.”

“There’s my girl,” Rafael smiled as he picked up his youngest granddaughter. 

“Papito, me want ice cream.”

“It’s ‘I want ice cream’ and what did your Mom and Dad say?”

“Not until after the graduat, the graduate, the thing.”

“Graduation, mija. You have to listen to your parents.”

“Not when I’m here. You said so.”

“Seriously, Dad?”

“I don’t want to hear it. This is part of my job as the grandparent.”

“What about when Camila brings the boys over? Or when Ella brings Bea and Andy?”

“Same thing,” Rafael shrugged.

“Where’s Matt?”

“He was picking up Jesse and Billie.”

“How serious do you think he and Jesse are?”

“I’m not sure. They get along. She’s only 19. I don’t think they’re putting too much into it right now.”

“And Uncle Sonny and Aunt Amanda are okay with it?”

“They trust him more than they trust her.”

“I still think it’s weird.”

“Why?”

“He’s almost 6 years older than her. He was like a big brother to her.”

“You and Zara grew up together basically as did your sister and Gil.”

“But there’s not that big of an age difference with us.”

“Your brother is smart. He’s not going to do anything stupid.”

“Yeah, unlike you would, RJ,” Will teased.

“Hey, Zara and I were already talking about getting married when…you know. Rosie, go find your Mom.”

“Ugh, okay,” the dark haired 3 year-old said as she rolled her eyes.

“God, she looks like Mom when she does that. All I’m saying is…”

“Nothing because it’s none of your business, Junior. They’re both adults.”

“Fine. I won’t say anything else about it.”

“Thank you. Now come on, boys. It’ll be time to leave soon.”  
**********************************

The house was filled with their friends, kids, their grandkids, Lucia, Bill, and Stella as well after the graduation. 

“You okay, mi amor?” Rafael asked when he found his wife in their kitchen alone.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she smiled. “A lot of changes is all.”

“RJ is about to have his second baby, Will graduated high school. Rory is finally pregnant.”

“And I’m retiring in two months. It’s a lot to take in.”

“Well, Mike’s getting ready to retire, too.”

“Yeah. So, is Nick. SVU is going to be the hands of some young kids once Carisi and Amanda leave.”

“Ella said she’s up to take the Sergeant’s exam.”

“I know. I thought it was kind of soon but her Captain seems to think she’s ready for it.”

“Harris always thought you were ready for it, way before you ever did it.”

“True.”

“You know, I can’t believe after Liv retired a few years ago, that you never took the Captain’s exam.”

“My rank is fine with me. Never felt the need to I guess.”

“Are you going to be happy being at home?”

“I’ll just come bug you every day,” she smiled.

“Can you believe we’re here?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we just celebrated our 34th anniversary this year, we have 6 wonderful kids. 6 beautiful grandchildren, with two more on the way. We have the greatest family we could’ve asked for. We have everything we ever wanted, and everything we planned on, including our looks and we turn 60 this year.”

“Don’t remind me,” she shook her head.

“You still look as beautiful as that day I met you in 1993.”

“Hard to believe it’s been 40 years since we met…”

“And fell in love.”

“How did I get so lucky?”

“Please. I’m the lucky one. I never thought in a million years I’d marry someone as beautiful as you.”

“Rafa.”

“What? I’m serious. I was this smart mouthed, skinny, little nerd from the South Bronx.”

“And so adorable, just like now.”

“Harvard didn’t just give me a good education but a roommate who turned out to be the best friend I ever had with a twin sister who became the love of my life.”

“Still? After all this time? Really?” Erin laughed when she found her sister and brother in law with their arms around each other. “Must be taking Viagra, huh?”

“And a sister in law that still hasn’t changed.”

“Oh, come on, Barba. If you think I’m going to change now…”

“Got it, Erin,” he said as he raised his hand.

“Hey, Mom, Dad is it okay if I head out?”

“You know the rules don’t change just because you graduated today.”

“Yeah, I know, Dad.”

“Make sure to say good-bye to your grandparents and brothers and sisters.”

“I will. Love you, guys.”

“Love you, too.”

“So, how about after everyone clears out. You and me…you know.”

“Give me a tetanus shot if you’re gonna stick me with that rusty fucking thing.”

Rafael just died laughing, remembering the Robin Williams joke from his 2001 HBO special. “I love you, too, cariño.”

“But maybe,” she smiled before grabbing another bottle of wine.

“I’ll make sure to take my blood pressure medicine.”

“Will you stop?”  
*************************************

Izzy stood in what used to be Cragen’s office, then Liv’s, and then hers as she packed up her stuff. There was a picture of the squad which still included Stabler and she sort of laughed. She remembered the laughs, the bond she made with Fin on their first case. Olivia and her being the only members of the boys club at the time but they could hold their own against them.

There was a picture of her, Amanda, Liv, and Melinda at one of the Christmas parties before Rafael had moved over. The countless pictures of her and Rafael from their younger days leading up until the present, not to mention the kids and the grandkids.

The last picture she took off of her shelf was one from her Dad’s retirement party. He retired as Battalion Chief many years ago and when the cancer took him the year before, she thought it would break her or Rafael. She missed him every day. She knew Rafael did, too. At least he was there to walk him through being a husband, a father and then a grandfather when Camila had her first son, Dexter.

“Hey,” the District Attorney said in almost a whisper as he knocked on the door.

“Hey.”

“You got everything?”

“Finally. I can’t believe all the stuff I had put in here,” she kind of laughed.

“Well, come on. Our newest granddaughter deserves our attention today I think.”

“I think she does,” Izzy agreed. Zara had given birth to her and RJ’s second daughter, Catalina or Kat as they called her, the month before. She had a head full of dark hair like her mom and sister.

Rafael picked up the last box as Izzy looked at the young faces sitting around the bullpen. Amanda was helping one finish paperwork on their latest case while Sonny was telling another a story.

She sort of laughed as they waved to her. It’s not like they would never see each other again. She knew Amanda would be over as much as she could be as well as Sonny. 

“Hey. You coming?” Rafael chuckled as he tilted his head.

“Right behind you,” she replied.


	160. Chapter 160

{2059}

“Here, let me help you.”

“Raf, I broke my hip two months ago, I’m fine,” his wife of almost 60 years told him as she slapped his hand away.

“Will you stop being so stubborn, Elizabeth? You remind me of Abuelita after she fell.”

“So? I said I’m fine. You don’t have to keep watching my every move. I’m still able to load the dishwasher and do housework.”

He just stood and looked her before he laughed quietly to himself.

“What’s so funny?”

“Speaking of Abuelita, remember when I asked you what you were going to be doing when you were 85?”

She stopped for a moment and thought. “And I said squabbling with you.”

“Looks like we stuck to it. You know I just worry about you.”

“I know but you have your own problems…”

“The CBD is keeping my tremors under control. I’m fine,” he smiled. At this point, he had been living with Parkinson’s for nearly 10 years. He had started noticing little things the closer he got to retirement but ignored them or wrote them off as stress related until his wife finally made him see a doctor.

The kids had been trying to talk Izzy into hiring some help and Rory, knowing the disease would just continue to get worse, had suggested at one point, he might have to go into an assisted living facility of some sort since it was getting harder for her take care of him when he needed it.

“Aurora, when I married your father, I said…”

“I know, Mom but I was there. Dr. Alvert said he’s just going to progress.”

“And I’ll cross that bridge when or if it happens. I don’t want to discuss it anymore.”

“Mama, I know you two have always taken care of each other but you just turned 85. Even today, that’s impressive.”

“I said I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Okay?”

“Fine,” she said as she realized there was no reasoning with her mother. “I know you think Dad’s immortal…”

“What did I just say?”

“What are you two arguing about now?” Rafael asked he joined his wife and daughter in the kitchen.

“Nothing, Dad. How are you feeling?”

He just sort of nodded.

“When do you go back to your neurologist?”

“Is that what you came over for? To hound me about my doctor’s appointments?”

“No, of course not. Dad, I worry about the two of you and I think…”

“I know what you think and the answer is still a firm no. I’m fine. Everything is being managed.”

“As long as you two are okay.”

“We’re fine, mija.”  
***********************************************  
{2061}  
Rafael had progressively gotten worse since his 85th birthday. He had moved from the stage 3 to stage 4 and it was getting hard for Izzy to take care of him by herself.

She didn’t Liv to lean on anymore, since she had passed away 4 years earlier. Nick wasn’t doing very well himself.

“We are going to have to seriously talk to Mom,” Cami told her brothers and sisters over lunch one day.

“She is still going to insist that she can take care of him,” RJ answered. “We all know how hard headed both of them are.”

“Matt, can you and Jesse talk to Aunt Amanda and Uncle Sonny?”

“If they aren’t going to listen to their kids, why would they listen to them? Sonny goes by there once a week or so, that way Mom can get out of the house for a little bit. I mean, Dad has his good days and bad days. We knew this was coming.”

“Maybe we can find something for both of them,” Ella suggested. “They can sell the house and…”

“They’re not selling the house,” Will interjected.

“What are we going to do with it? Just let it sit?”

“Mom will never go for this.”

“Will we understand why you feel…”

“Rory it’s not about that. I just…I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”

“Dad’s lucky he didn’t break something when he fell the other day and Mom can’t keep doing it by herself anymore. With Cami living in Westchester and my coaching schedule, Ella being just like Mom, and Matt covered in cases since he made Bureau chief…”

“I’ll quit my job.”

“No, Will. Mom and Dad wouldn’t want that. Your work at ACS is important. I think they’d be pretty upset if that Master’s in Social Work went to waste. And what about Abby? Her salary isn’t enough to support you, her, and Holden,” Matt told his younger brother. “I say, the 6 of us sit them down and talk to them…together.”

“I agree,” RJ replied.

“Fine. I’m not arguing about it anymore.”

“We’re not arguing, Will. We’re just trying to do what’s best for our parents…like they always did us,” Ella added.


	161. Chapter 161

January 5th, 2062

The day of Rafael’s funeral was hard for everyone. Izzy had stayed with him till the very end, he managed to tell her he loved her before he took his last breath. 

“Mom?”

“Yeah, Ella?”

“Do you need me and Gil to stay?”

“No, I’ll be fine.”

“We can stay a little longer. Everything’s cleaned up. All the food is put away.”

“Thank you,” she told her daughter quietly.

“He’s not suffering anymore.”

“I know that, baby.”

“Aunt Erin said that the last thing he told you was that he loved you.”

“Yeah,” she nodded with tears in her eyes. She couldn’t believe she had anything left in her after the past few days.

“Mom?”

“Yeah, Matty?”

“Uh…I have something that Dad wanted me to give you after…you know.”

“What is it?” She asked as she took the envelope from his hand. She pulled out the paper and read it. “When was he…how did he…”

“It was one of those last good days a few weeks before he went to the hospital. I guess he knew his time was limited and he wanted to do something for you, he said he had thought about doing this for years. Instead of having a star named for you, he wanted it named after him so you’d always know he’d be looking down on you.”

She just sat there and sort of laughed to herself. There he was, even knowing he didn’t have much time left, still thinking of her. If only she could tell him how much she loved it. 

“Thank you for helping him with this.”

“Sure.”

“You look so much when he was your age, you know.”

“So, I’ve been told,” he sort of laughed. “Listen, Jess isn’t feeling very well.”

“I remember how I felt after my hysterectomy. Get her home. I’ll be fine, guys, I promise.”

All the kids, the grandkids, and the two great-grandchildren they had said their good-byes, leaving their mother in the apartment in the Senior community they had moved into the year before.

She laid on his side of the bed that night, his pillow still smelled like him. She didn’t think she would ever go to sleep but that night, she went to sleep for the last time. The kids couldn’t believe she went as quick as she did.

They all convinced themselves that she couldn’t live without the only man she had loved for 67 years and they would finally be together again, along with Lucia, Bill, Lina, Stella, Anthony, Fin, Liv, and Brian.


End file.
